July 4, 2025 • 35 mins
What happens when persistent pain leads to an unexpected, life-threatening diagnosis? In this riveting conversation, Claire welcomes her childhood friend, Beau, to share the first part of his extraordinary health journey—from mysterious jaw pain to a rare cancer diagnosis that turned his world upside down.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to.
Before you Cut Bangs, I'm LauraQuick and I'm Claire.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Fehrman.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I am a professional storyteller and I'm currently
working on my first book.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I have worked in mental health for many years in
lots of capacities and this is areally important time to tell
you our big disclaimer this isnot therapy.
We are not your therapists orcoaches or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I mean you shouldn't really trust us very
much at all, we are not yourtherapist or coaches or anything
like that.
Yeah, I mean you shouldn'treally trust us very much at all
.
Unless you want to and it turnsout well, then you can trust us
.
That's great.
Today we're continuing oursummer of vacation guest, so
people are just coming on thepodcast, and today is Claire's
(00:51):
turn to get roasted roasted andshe has brought along a
childhood friend, like familyalmost like family, but family
friend, right?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
yeah, well, we didn't bring him here for me to get
roasted.
That was added to the outline.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I don't well, victoria said it, so it must be
happening.
So, um, I do have a questionreal quick before, because I
wanted to ask you about thisthis photo of you two, that
where you're topless.
I don't know if you guys cansee this, but it does appear.
Claire is here having a verywarm hug with Bo without a top
(01:19):
on as a teenager.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
First off, there's a top under there that was very
small, because that was the yearof string bikinis.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
That was before the high beams.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
It's called an augmentation.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
We're advocates for augmentations here on the show,
do whatever makes you feelpretty.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Someone should have mentioned that that bathing suit
bottom didn't fit.
Thank you for saving that forme, wow.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
You're welcome.
I saw it and was like, oh, I'llbe bringing that up, but why
don't you tell us a little bitabout?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Bo.
Okay, we won't get into toomuch of the good stuff, but we
grew up down the street fromeach other.
We were in the samekindergarten class, mrs Weir.
Our moms were best buddies andthrough a traumatic series of
events, we were basically raisedtogether.
Most people thought we were infact related, and we weren't.
(02:16):
We did not bring Bo here toroast me, but we brought him
here because Bo's had a wildstory in adulthood which we'll
get to.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Okay.
When you say we were bondedtogether, do you care to tell
the people how, what traumaticevent bonded your families
together?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Let me count the ways I would say heavy family
addiction and little MIA dadsfor a little while.
So our moms just band together.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I mean basically moved in together.
Yeah, almost.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
They would tote us down to the beach.
There's four kids, that's threeseatbelts in the back, and it
was like beat the shit out ofeach other.
For who had to ride on thefloorboard?
His mom either would have aspoon or a spatula that you'd
get popped with Like if you werebad you know you're close when
the other parent that's not yourparent gets to beat you like
(03:13):
the shit out of you if you aredoing anything wrong and uh,
steph smoked vantage regulars.
Diane was a marlboro light galand they were to get through it.
Honestly, I look back and I canvividly remember Celine Dion
playing one summer.
A lot of it was like good music, but that must've been a tough
year.
You know, if we're into Celinesmoking in the station wagon and
(03:35):
like we would, just that wasour lives.
Would you add anything?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Well, I think the only thing I would add is you
know I speaking of beatingchildren we're driving down to
the beach.
I'll never forget I was sittingdirectly behind, directly
behind the driver's seat, and Idon't remember what I was doing.
But my mom got super pissed andwe're all in the backseat
arguing back and forth and she'strying to reach back and hit me
and she didn't have thespanking spoon and so she
(04:03):
reached back and just whop, andI bent down at the same time,
caught me right in the nose.
I'm bleeding, I'm crying andI'm screaming, I'm calling the
police.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Oh yeah, as anyways that was like.
That was our typical beachstandard run my stepmom had and
she thought it was hilarious, mystepmom had a leather belt she
kept in the glove box.
She never hit me with it, butshe would send that thing
flailing back there and, likeanybody who wasn't smart enough,
to get out of the way, Did youget popped?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
No, I knew it, I knew it Never.
That's why you're the mostwell-adjusted, never got beat,
and Hunter's not even from theSouth.
He's like oh boy, oh boy Ishouldn't be here right now.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
You mean someone who wasn't your parent had the
ability to beat you.
Yes, hunter, that is our life.
She's called a pop.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Or parent.
I've never been spanked.
I'm sorry.
But the spanking spoon.
I feel like we should go backto the spanking spoon.
Oh, the spanking spoon was abig deal Is it just any spoon
that was around.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Wooden, it was a wooden stirring spoon and yeah,
essentially flat, a flat one,yeah and um, very aerodynamic,
very quick and it stung verybadly.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And if we couldn't, if we couldn't find that and it
was just a wire fly swatter,yeah and those suck, but but the
the idea of having to go pickyour own switch was a long walk
from the back porch to the edgeof the woods to get your own
stick.
Like, okay, now that we'rethrough that childhood trauma,
(05:34):
okay, bo.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hello, that means it's time forthe interview.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Okay.
Well, we can't skip my favoritepart, which is we start with a
warm-up question what's?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
something Claire wouldn't want people to know,
but you're going to say itanyways.
She's already said high beams.
We let that go.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah, I mean so we're basically brother and sister.
I think the most embarrassingthing that ever happened was we
hooked up in ninth grade.
It was absolutely awful forboth of us.
We just made out.
We made out.
I said yeah, yeah, that's true,Hook up these days means a lot
of things.
You got to make sure youclarify we made out.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Have we ever said it out loud to each other?
I don't think so.
Okay, okay, oh boy, so it'shappening right now.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I was like does he remember?
He remembers, oh, he remembers.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
But I'll never forget .
We were in our remedial mathclass together and we go in
there the next day and I justremember sitting across from
each other and being like God.
That was the worst thing ever.
And both of us yeah, that wasmy reaction too.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Wow, that hasn't been addressed since 2001,.
I guess, or two, I told one ofhis cousins.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
How does this happen?
Like we're young, I meanunattended children I don't know
I'll
Speaker 2 (06:52):
be, like well, we're 15 or 16 horned up 15 year olds
during finals yeah, lateral onboard.
Oh yeah, I specificallyremember drinking Dr Pepper and
I don't think I can drink it.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I remember you being like you're like my brother and
I was like, yeah, this is notgood.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
You had to try her on for sauce once.
That's what every guy wishes.
He could hear You're like mybrother, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So bad.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Okay well that's a terrible warm-up but I liked it
I.
I can feel your embarrassment.
I have secondhand embarrassmentjust watching you turn red well
, yeah, you get to talk goodabout beau now that he's thrown
you under the bus it's justbecause he's had cancer.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
We have to be nice all the time, oh my god, I'm
sorry.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Let's bring up what she said to me when she was like
we're having beau on thepodcast.
Remember when you didn't callhim back and then he got cancer
and I was like I'm sorry, westill need to connect we do 100,
so we're gonna start with thecancer.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Can we start with that?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
well, I have questions yeah, that's why we
okay.
So that's why that's the onlyreason I wanted beau here.
But it fit in perfectly for tworeasons.
First, y'all have had lovedones come on and I get a loved
one now.
But it's extra good because Idon't want to tell Bo's story.
(08:20):
I'm going to let Bo tell hisstory.
But he had a massive healthcrisis Two weeks after I got
married.
He did our wedding ceremony andI will say it was like the
closest thing like that tohappen and certainly closest in
like our age range, and Icertainly had a lot of feelings.
(08:40):
We all did and I want Bo toshare the story yeah, that's why
he's here.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
More than one wedding , so which wedding?
And I usually say that as ajoke.
I'm not this time yeah that'strue, the most recent wedding.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
That's insane yeah, that wasn't that long that was
not long ago, yeah all right, solast summer, yeah, not even a
year all right.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
So what does it start ?
Were you feeling bad?
What?
How did this all kind of start?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
yeah, so well, I'll start off by saying this is the
first time I've like reallypublicly told this story, um, so
, bear with me, this is more oflike a stream of consciousness
than it is like organized in anyway.
So, but really it startedprobably like March.
(09:27):
Um, you know, I had this littlespot on my gum that just swole
up on me and you know, at thetime I thought I would just, you
know, you just, I was eatinglike granola or something.
I got stuck in my gum and so Iwent to the dentist.
Um, they did, they did an exam,said we're not sure what this
is, you need to go see aperiodontist who specializes in
(09:50):
in gum tissue and things likethat.
So I go to a periodontist.
Um, they did their thing.
They were like we can't findanything.
And so they sent me to anendodontist.
Um, and you know at know, atthat point they did a CT scan
without contrast.
So really, essentially, you'rekind of looking at like an x-ray
(10:12):
, but like a really detailedx-ray, like 3d version, um, and
so we're looking at that.
And she recognized, you know,there was some thickening on the
right side of my jaw, um, whichwas, you know, certainly just
different than than the leftside and you could kind of see
it, but it wasn't like jumpingout at you, um, and so.
(10:35):
So, anyways, um, at that pointshe said, okay, there's really
nothing that I can do because we, you know, you don't need a
root canal, so I'm going torefer you to an oral surgeon.
So I went to an oral surgeon,um, and kind of bounced back and
forth between them for probablyfour months Maybe.
(10:57):
Um, I had, I had two rootcanals and then, uh, and then I
also had what's called a toriremoval, which is terrible.
Essentially, they shave downthe inside of your jaw which was
awful.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
This is pre-wedding, this is all pre-wedding, and
still at this point.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
They haven't said you have cancer.
They just are trying to figureout what's going on.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Yeah, I just had a feeling I'll never forget.
I remember the first time I metwith the oral surgeon, I was
like, hey, been, you know, goingat this for like two months now
, having like major throbbing.
Not just it started in onetooth and then it was spreading
(11:38):
to the other teeth and, you know, by that time it was like
across my entire jaw, and so ifI was exercising or doing
anything, um, I could like feelmy heartbeat all through my, my
jaw and um, and so I knewsomething was up.
But I, you know, I just didn'thave the knowledge base to
really pinpoint exactly whatthat was.
(11:59):
And, uh, and it turns out theydidn't either, and so I'm
bouncing back and forth, backand forth.
They wind up, um, saying theonly thing left to do is is
extract one of your teeth.
And so they took out one of mymolars, um that I had had the
root canal done on and becausethey thought it was infecting.
When they took it out, it wasfine, and they were like, not
(12:21):
only did you not need a rootcanal, but this is like a
completely healthy tooth, um,thanks yeah, exactly exactly,
and um, and so, anyways, um,after that uh, that was around,
that was probably, I think I hadthat done like a week after the
(12:44):
wedding.
And so we go to St Simon for afamily beach trip and it's just,
it's not healing properly.
And so I call my oral surgeon.
He's like all right, come backin, let's do a biopsy of the
tissue.
And so his main concern wasthat it could be squamous cell
(13:05):
carcinoma, and so squamous cellis the most common form of oral
cancer, you know.
So people who dip and smoke andstuff like that's what they
normally present with.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I've never really done any of that and uh, which
is interesting since you'refriends with claire and she
actually do.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I am going to pause because I wish I'd said this
initially.
My brother and I went like theloose cannon route and beau went
to the like not perfection, butlike he was a good kid really
good kid yeah and definitelykind of like it I don't have a
(13:43):
different word but the patriarchof the group like stable,
steady, trusted, like definitelynot doing what my brother and I
did.
That's important for this right,he wasn't a maniac doing acid
in my own sense, no even I don'twant to jump ahead, but even
(14:05):
when I was with, I was with hismom when he got the diagnosis.
I was down at the beach andshe's like, out of any of you
four, I never thought it wouldbe him and I'm like I can
understand thank you for thankyou for that.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I appreciate it, but it is an important part of the
story because, generallyspeaking, when someone you hear
about someone having this cancer, you think, oh well, they did
it for years, right, like that'sthe assumption.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
And it wasn't that type of cancer either.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, there's a distinction to be made there.
Yeah, it was not.
What I was diagnosed with isalmost 100% genetic.
So I was diagnosed withosteosarcoma, which is 0.06% of
all cancer, so super, super rare, but I can't remember.
(14:52):
So, yeah, so they do the biopsy, we go in to have the biopsy
done.
I get my wife to come with mebecause, cause I, just at that
point I was super worked up, Iwas very, um, not even, quite
frankly, scared, like I knewsomething was going on.
They were being very, you know,casual about the entire thing.
(15:14):
Um, and I got in there and justbroke down and I was like
something's up.
Um, you know, like we need, weneed answers.
And so he was saying he wasonly going to biopsy the tissue.
And I mean, as Claire knows,like I'm a pretty direct person
and and to the point, especiallyin this scenario, to the point
(15:35):
of being like argumentative.
And you know I said, look, wehave, you know, multiple CT
scans that show a thickening onthe right side of my jaw.
You're going to be in there,like you may as well just take a
piece of my jaw too.
And um, and he, you know the,the exact response was well,
we've already extracted yourtooth.
(15:55):
We need to keep as much bone aswe possibly can.
Uh, because we're gonna have toput an implant in, and um, and
I just, she just said, just said, look, I don't care, I need you
to do this because it's goingto give me the ability to sleep
at night.
And um, and, and he was like,all right, we'll see when we get
in there.
So, so, you know, they startthe procedure.
(16:17):
And I'll never forget, you know,sitting in that chair, and he
held up a Petri dish over myhead and was like, okay, here's,
you know, here's the tissuethat we took and there's that
little piece of bone you wantedme to get.
And um, and they sent them,thank God, sent them both off
for pathology.
And, um, you know, two monthsor, I'm sorry, two weeks later,
(16:38):
uh, the bone was what came backas positive.
The bone was what came back aspositive, and so it was positive
for osteosarcoma, mandibularosteosarcoma in particular, like
I said, is 0.06% of all cancer,which is super, super rare.
(17:00):
And to give them a little bitof leeway, I went to Em, I went
to emory, I went to uab, I wentto mayo.
Each of these huge facilitiesmight see one, maybe two of me
every single year wow um, and soan oral surgeon and buckhead
who's doing veneers isn't likeyou know they're really looking
for.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It's not an expert for sure so yeah so I feel like
when I heard this, my thoughtwas like what if I don't know
that?
I would have known to advocatefor myself, because I think I
probably take some stuff that aphysician says I wouldn't have
argued with the tissue piece, Iwouldn't have even thought,
(17:40):
because I'm like, oh, they knowwhat do I know?
What made you advocate orquestion it?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Yeah, I think, um, I mean, I think this is probably
like a bigger conversation, but,um, you know, I think God
blessed me with a very specificpersonality to be in that
situation.
Um, I also, you know, I'vespent my entire, you know, 16
year career in healthcare andthat's all I do every single day
(18:11):
is speak to, to doctors andsurgeons, and, um, you know, and
, and so I.
Another thing, too, is, likeyou know, I saw that CT and I,
you could clearly see somethingwas different and they were
telling me that.
You know it, um, you know itlight.
It had to do with the fact thatI grind my teeth at night.
I'm super stressed.
(18:32):
You chew more heavily on yourright side.
There were a million differentreasons as to why the thickening
was there, and, and I just knewmy body, Like I knew that, that
you're like, except for the wayI feel, yeah, except for the
way.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I feel, and the fact that I've been chewing on the
right side since I was had teeth.
Thank you for bringing that up.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah and uh, you know the fact that, like I was
feeling my heartbeat like evenstanding up out of a chair and
my jaw it was like this is notnormal, um, and so, yeah, I mean
, I think, um, it really had wenot taken the biopsy of my
(19:12):
mandible at that time.
Osteosarcoma is a highly,highly aggressive form of cancer
and it very well could havebeen a completely different
outcome.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
How progressed was it by the time they figured it out
?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Yeah, so I so the well, the interesting thing is
because all of the CT scans thatwere done, uh, initially with
the oral surgeons and the um, uh, endodontist and everybody that
that was all without contrast.
So again, like, if you've everlooked at a C, at a CT scan,
(19:50):
without contrast, it's basicallylike a 3D image of your bone.
So there wasn't really any wayto show the progression of the
size of the tumor.
You can do that when you have aCT with contrast and so I can
tell you what the size of it waseventually.
(20:10):
So when we did the CT withcontrast, the size of the tumor
was in centimeters, 3.5 by 1.5by 1.5.
So the reason why it didn't likejump out on the initial CT was
because it was elongated, so itran kind of the length of my jaw
or my mandible.
So it ran kind of the length ofmy jaw or my mandible and so it
(20:32):
was sort of like an oval asopposed to, like you know, a
spherical tumor that would justjump out you could see like a
huge bump.
That wasn't the case here.
It was just slightly thickerthan the other side, but I could
feel it.
I mean, I could feel that itstarted in 30 and then it spread
to 31, and then it spread to 29.
(20:53):
And so, like I was tracking,like hey, this thing is growing
or moving and whatever it is,and um, and so yeah, that was
you know kind of the progressionof it.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
So what did they say, Like what was the exact kind of
conversation when they came into give you the news.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, so well, I'll give credit to Dr Aiken, who's
the oral surgeon.
He's an incredible guy.
He and I, you know, I would say, have become friends through
this and he's just like a great,great person.
And so I got the diagnosis.
(21:33):
I think it was 11 days afterthe biopsy, um, and I was at the
office.
I was in our um conference roomwith our CEO and my my phone
rang.
I saw that it was Dr Aiken, youknow, took the phone call and
he told me osteosarcoma.
(21:54):
He just came out and said it.
He was like, he was like I hateto be the one to tell you this,
but you've been diagnosed with,with osteosarcoma, um, the
pathology came back asosteosarcoma and um, and we
talked through the grading itwas a grade two, which is like a
mid-grade, uh, that's how youdetermine how aggressive the
cells are.
(22:14):
Um, and you know, and I think,like I think with I'm not by any
means a doctor, but I've spentmy entire career in health care
and I know a lot about thisstuff and also my second uncle
died of osteosarcoma.
My dog, which was like my son,died of osteosarcoma.
(22:38):
So when I heard osteosarcoma, Imean I was thinking months, you
know, and so I just had afull-blown panic attack.
Just a full blown panic attackin the middle, like at our
office I remember you knowsitting.
I just walked into our uh, myCEO's office and just said, hey,
(23:04):
I got diagnosed withosteosarcoma, I gotta go.
Um, went home, Our daughter was, uh was at home sick that day.
And daughter was uh was at homesick that day.
And you know, call my wife onthe way and uh, and I'm just
like coming apart and um, and sohow does your wife respond?
Uh, so you kind of have to know,my wife's a nurse and she is, I
(23:27):
mean, like the best person Iknow and um, and she's also like
very, very stoic, yeah, likeeven keel, um, like, whereas I'm
pretty emotional and uh, andyeah, and and so anyways, when I
called and told her, it wasmore of like okay, what's next?
(23:52):
I don't even remember exactlywhat she said, but she didn't
start crying or freaking out.
I was doing that.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
They say that's the way it works in a healthy
relationship.
If one of you is freaking out,the other one is like, okay, but
we've got a list and we'regoing to work the plan.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Was that helpful to you for her not to freak out?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
oh, yeah, for sure.
I mean yeah, without a doubt.
I don't think.
I think, throughout the entireprocess that we've been through
over the last 12 months, I thinkI've seen her cry, maybe one
time.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Um and uh, and I think it was.
I think it was like either theday I was diagnosed or the or
the next Um, so anyways, I gethome and, um, my daughter's
there.
So I didn't want her to see mefreaking out.
I wasn't really sure what to do.
(24:51):
Her to see me freaking out, Iwasn't really sure what to do.
So I called my best friend,grant Um, and I just explained
the situation and I'm kind oftrying to gather my thoughts
about like okay, what can I doto be proactive about this?
That's just, that's just how Iam.
I'm like, okay, we have aproblem, how are we going to fix
it?
And uh, and so I was like, evenwith all the emotions.
(25:14):
Yeah, like that was well.
I'll never forget the firstthing I said to Dr Aiken when he
told me I was diagnosed.
I said, okay, what do we donext?
I was like what's the what'sthe plan?
And the cool thing about it ishis wife is um head of neurology
at Emory.
Wow.
And so before they even calledme, they had already scheduled
(25:37):
me to be.
I was diagnosed on Friday.
They already had me scheduledto meet with the
interdisciplinary team at Emoryon Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
So oncology, surgical oncology, radiation oncology,
like we were meeting witheverybody all at once.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Dang talk about a gift.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Oh yeah, and I mean, I think it's the way God aligned
this, and we'll go through howeverything unfolded, because
it's really beyond anything Icould have put together, but the
you know, I can't remember.
Oh, oh yeah.
So, grant, grant, I call Grant.
(26:16):
I said hey, look man, come pickme up.
I've been diagnosed with cancer.
Um, I just need to, we justneed to go somewhere, um and so,
as he's coming to pick me up,I'm in the front yard.
I'm literally like throwing upI'm.
I'm so dist, distraught, I'mhaving a full panic attack which
I've never, ever had in my life, like that's not just, I've
(26:39):
never is that because youthought you would make it?
yeah, I thought.
I mean I thought when I heardosteosarcoma I thought death
sentence, like you're because ofyour uncle and your puppy yeah
and uh, well, and the fact that,like you know, so I I've been
in the operating room with thesepatients, like I've I've, you
(27:01):
know, worked for strikerorthopedics, where we're doing,
you know, knee replacements onkids who have osteosarcoma in
the femur or the tibia orwhatever it may be, and I know
the prognosis that comes withthat.
And so when I heard it, I justfreaked out, but in that moment
I was thinking, okay, you know,I need answers, like I'm very
(27:27):
much like a right now person,and if I can't, um, you know,
either get a definitive answeror or move something forward, I
just feel even more panicked.
And so so, anyways, I, I, theonly person I thought to call
was um, uh, surgical oncologistthat I used to work with at
(27:49):
Piedmont hospitals, and I, youknow, I worked with him for
probably three years and and heand I, you know, had become
friends and would go huntingtogether and stuff like that, um
, but I hadn't talked to him inprobably two or three years, and
um, so I just looked, as youknow, looked up his number on my
(28:09):
phone, called his cell, andthis guy's in the operating room
, like all day, every day.
So I was like there's no chancehe's answering.
He answered on the second ringand was just like hey man, how
you doing?
And I'm just beside myself.
I'm like Kevin, I've beendiagnosed with osteosarcoma.
I have no idea what to do.
I'm panicking and I need toknow if it's spread.
(28:30):
Idea what to do.
I'm panicking and I need toknow if it's spread.
And without skipping a beat,he's like get in the car, meet
me at Piedmont ER.
We're scanning you from head totoe, I'll see you in 10 minutes
.
And so so Grant comes and picksme up, we immediately drive to
the emergency room and uh, and Ihad full, full head to toe, uh,
(28:51):
ct scan, with and withoutcontrast, within maybe two hours
of being diagnosed.
And then, uh, and was able toget an answer to you know, it's
still localized in your jaw.
We don't see it anywhere elsein your body.
Um, and, and you know, and sothat allowed me to at least
(29:12):
bridge the gap from Friday whenI was diagnosed, to Tuesday when
I got to meet with theinterdisciplinary team at Emory.
Um, okay, I've got.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I'm going to ask you a question because I feel like,
just based on what I know aboutpeople, is there's someone who's
hearing this story and they'rein an in-between and they don't
have that guy on their phone,like that panic attack moment,
whether I mean this is obviouslyvery substantial crisis that
you're having.
But if someone's in a crisislike that and they don't have
(29:46):
that guy on their phone, whatwould you tell them to do?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
I think the well, I think, um, I think everybody I
don't want to say everybody hasthat guy on their phone, but
everybody, I think, has theability to connect with somebody
that can help them.
And I think a lot of people gointo I've been diagnosed and I
(30:17):
need to internalize and notspeak and not tell anybody
anything.
I'm the exact opposite.
I'm like I need to get on theroof and start screaming what
I've been diagnosed with and seewho are the experts in this
field and who can I, you know,align with in order to be able
to get the answers that I need.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
You already did something that we advocate for,
which is you called a tier one,you called Grant.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, you called Grant 100%, tier one.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Head your ass over here.
We're going somewhere.
I don't know where we're goingand by the time he got there you
already had a plan.
Yeah, somewhere I don't knowwhere we're going and by the
time he got there, you alreadyhad a plan.
Yeah, and I love that because Ifeel like that is something
that especially like most of ourlisteners and because will's
here.
We do have more men listenersmaybe than we would normally
have, but because most of ourlisteners are women, I do think
women do tend to like holy shitbecause, because the if you're a
(31:07):
mom, or even this idea of likestressing everybody out with
this big burden thing that Ijust got, I think like women
needed to hear that get on theroof and scream it.
See if you can find someone whoknows someone who knows someone
, because even if you don't havethe guy's number in your phone,
somebody in your network ofsocial media or your friends,
your closest people, might havethat one connection you need to
(31:29):
like.
Get you there faster to thatpiece that you're looking for to
get you there faster, to thatpiece that you're looking for to
get you from friday to tuesdayyeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
So I think that's the personal advocacy side of it.
I think, um, you know mypersonal experience.
I think, um, you know, like Isaid, we can go through how
everything continued to progress, but, um, you know,
statistically speaking, what Iwas diagnosed with and how
(31:59):
things unfolded moving forward.
I think it's far beyond myability to network into things.
Um, I think you know God builtme a very specific way and put
me into a very specificsituation and gave me the
resources to be able to properlynavigate that, so that my
(32:20):
prayer is that he can then usethis for good and, um, and
that's quite frankly, why I'msitting here and so, um, so,
just to move back, you know wewere able to get the CT scan
with Dr Nguyen at Piedmontwithin a couple of hours.
Um, and you know to your point,like calling a tier one I mean,
(32:43):
there's a handful of peoplealways, I think I I'm going to
butcher this, but I heard it ona podcast last week Um, you know
who's the first person thatcomes to mind if you're, you
know, arrested in a foreigncountry and you have one phone
(33:03):
call, who are you going to call?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Uh, exactly, I literally I'm flying there right
now.
I've called my attorney.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
But those are the people who are like you know,
the, the ones who are actionoriented, that are going to.
They don't care what you knowother people, what the rules of
the game are.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Honestly, it's the moment you need the friend who
tries so hard to fix everythingfor you.
This is when you need her orhim you need that one friend
who's like I made the five pointplan.
I've got it, don't worry, I'vecalled the attorney.
I've got a guy that's probablya doctor for dogs, but he's
gonna call somebody.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
You know what I mean like.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I feel like this is the thing you need is like in
this moment where you don't know, having those people around you
, like your wife, who's likegreat.
What's the next step?
Yeah, and grant who's like?
Great, what's the next step?
Yeah, and Grant who's like, I'mdriving you to Piedmont, and
the dude who's?
Like I'll see T-Scan you rightnow.
I mean, like, how great is itto be surrounded by those people
who will stand in the gap foryou when you're like, holy shit,
(34:00):
my life is blowing?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
up, yeah, and that came to fruition even more on a
much bigger scale as I continuedto go through this and and
really be able to always knewthat I had a lot of people
around me that loved me and agreat community of people, um,
but to see that in action waslike one of the biggest
(34:24):
blessings that came out of thisentire situation.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
As you guys can tell, the story is really intense and
there's a lot to it and there'sstill a lot more to be told, so
we couldn't fit it all intothis one episode.
So come back in two weeks whenthe new episode comes out and
you guys can hear the rest ofBo's story.
It's pretty crazy.
I couldn't believe what I washearing.
You guys will not believe it aswell, and you'll get to hear
Claire laugh inappropriately attimes when you know no one
should be laughing.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
On the next, before you Cut Bangs Before you Cut
Bangs is hosted by Laura Quickand Claire Feerman and produced
by Will Lockamane.
Follow along with us everywhere.
Please subscribe to the podcast, find us on Instagram.
Mara Quick and Claire Feermanand produced by Will.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Lockman.
Follow along with us everywhere.
Please subscribe to the podcast.
Find us on Instagram.
We're constantly doing polls.
We want to know what you think,and I know that you probably
know this, but reviewing us andgiving us five stars matters
more than anything, and we areso grateful to have you here.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
We talk so much on the podcast about seeking
therapy, getting help, findingresources.
I would love to be able to helpyou with that.
My website is up and runningand beautiful.
It is goodgrowthwithclairecom.
So whether you're in the stateof Alabama or not, I want to be
able to help direct you to theright resources.
Goodgrowthwithclairecom.
Welcome to.
Before you Cut Bangs, I'm LauraQuick and I'm Claire.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Fehrman.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I am a professional storyteller and I'm currently
working on my first book.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
I have worked in mental health for many years in
lots of capacities and this is areally important time to tell
you our big disclaimer this isnot therapy.
We are not your therapists orcoaches or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, I mean you shouldn't really trust us very
much at all, we are not yourtherapist or coaches or anything
like that.
Yeah, I mean you shouldn'treally trust us very much at all
.
Unless you want to and it turnsout well, then you can trust us
.
That's great.
Today we're continuing oursummer of vacation guest, so
people are just coming on thepodcast, and today is Claire's
(00:51):
turn to get roasted roasted andshe has brought along a
childhood friend, like familyalmost like family, but family
friend, right?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
yeah, well, we didn't bring him here for me to get
roasted.
That was added to the outline.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I don't well, victoria said it, so it must be
happening.
So, um, I do have a questionreal quick before, because I
wanted to ask you about thisthis photo of you two, that
where you're topless.
I don't know if you guys cansee this, but it does appear.
Claire is here having a verywarm hug with Bo without a top
(01:19):
on as a teenager.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
First off, there's a top under there that was very
small, because that was the yearof string bikinis.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
That was before the high beams.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
It's called an augmentation.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
We're advocates for augmentations here on the show,
do whatever makes you feelpretty.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Someone should have mentioned that that bathing suit
bottom didn't fit.
Thank you for saving that forme, wow.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
You're welcome.
I saw it and was like, oh, I'llbe bringing that up, but why
don't you tell us a little bitabout?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Bo.
Okay, we won't get into toomuch of the good stuff, but we
grew up down the street fromeach other.
We were in the samekindergarten class, mrs Weir.
Our moms were best buddies andthrough a traumatic series of
events, we were basically raisedtogether.
Most people thought we were infact related, and we weren't.
(02:16):
We did not bring Bo here toroast me, but we brought him
here because Bo's had a wildstory in adulthood which we'll
get to.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Okay.
When you say we were bondedtogether, do you care to tell
the people how, what traumaticevent bonded your families
together?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Let me count the ways I would say heavy family
addiction and little MIA dadsfor a little while.
So our moms just band together.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I mean basically moved in together.
Yeah, almost.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
They would tote us down to the beach.
There's four kids, that's threeseatbelts in the back, and it
was like beat the shit out ofeach other.
For who had to ride on thefloorboard?
His mom either would have aspoon or a spatula that you'd
get popped with Like if you werebad you know you're close when
the other parent that's not yourparent gets to beat you like
(03:13):
the shit out of you if you aredoing anything wrong and uh,
steph smoked vantage regulars.
Diane was a marlboro light galand they were to get through it.
Honestly, I look back and I canvividly remember Celine Dion
playing one summer.
A lot of it was like good music, but that must've been a tough
year.
You know, if we're into Celinesmoking in the station wagon and
(03:35):
like we would, just that wasour lives.
Would you add anything?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Well, I think the only thing I would add is you
know I speaking of beatingchildren we're driving down to
the beach.
I'll never forget I was sittingdirectly behind, directly
behind the driver's seat, and Idon't remember what I was doing.
But my mom got super pissed andwe're all in the backseat
arguing back and forth and she'strying to reach back and hit me
and she didn't have thespanking spoon and so she
(04:03):
reached back and just whop, andI bent down at the same time,
caught me right in the nose.
I'm bleeding, I'm crying andI'm screaming, I'm calling the
police.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Oh yeah, as anyways that was like.
That was our typical beachstandard run my stepmom had and
she thought it was hilarious, mystepmom had a leather belt she
kept in the glove box.
She never hit me with it, butshe would send that thing
flailing back there and, likeanybody who wasn't smart enough,
to get out of the way, Did youget popped?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
No, I knew it, I knew it Never.
That's why you're the mostwell-adjusted, never got beat,
and Hunter's not even from theSouth.
He's like oh boy, oh boy Ishouldn't be here right now.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
You mean someone who wasn't your parent had the
ability to beat you.
Yes, hunter, that is our life.
She's called a pop.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Or parent.
I've never been spanked.
I'm sorry.
But the spanking spoon.
I feel like we should go backto the spanking spoon.
Oh, the spanking spoon was abig deal Is it just any spoon
that was around.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Wooden, it was a wooden stirring spoon and yeah,
essentially flat, a flat one,yeah and um, very aerodynamic,
very quick and it stung verybadly.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And if we couldn't, if we couldn't find that and it
was just a wire fly swatter,yeah and those suck, but but the
the idea of having to go pickyour own switch was a long walk
from the back porch to the edgeof the woods to get your own
stick.
Like, okay, now that we'rethrough that childhood trauma,
(05:34):
okay, bo.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hello, that means it's time forthe interview.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Okay.
Well, we can't skip my favoritepart, which is we start with a
warm-up question what's?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
something Claire wouldn't want people to know,
but you're going to say itanyways.
She's already said high beams.
We let that go.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah, I mean so we're basically brother and sister.
I think the most embarrassingthing that ever happened was we
hooked up in ninth grade.
It was absolutely awful forboth of us.
We just made out.
We made out.
I said yeah, yeah, that's true,Hook up these days means a lot
of things.
You got to make sure youclarify we made out.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Have we ever said it out loud to each other?
I don't think so.
Okay, okay, oh boy, so it'shappening right now.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I was like does he remember?
He remembers, oh, he remembers.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
But I'll never forget .
We were in our remedial mathclass together and we go in
there the next day and I justremember sitting across from
each other and being like God.
That was the worst thing ever.
And both of us yeah, that wasmy reaction too.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Wow, that hasn't been addressed since 2001,.
I guess, or two, I told one ofhis cousins.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
How does this happen?
Like we're young, I meanunattended children I don't know
I'll
Speaker 2 (06:52):
be, like well, we're 15 or 16 horned up 15 year olds
during finals yeah, lateral onboard.
Oh yeah, I specificallyremember drinking Dr Pepper and
I don't think I can drink it.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I remember you being like you're like my brother and
I was like, yeah, this is notgood.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
You had to try her on for sauce once.
That's what every guy wishes.
He could hear You're like mybrother, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So bad.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Okay well that's a terrible warm-up but I liked it
I.
I can feel your embarrassment.
I have secondhand embarrassmentjust watching you turn red well
, yeah, you get to talk goodabout beau now that he's thrown
you under the bus it's justbecause he's had cancer.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
We have to be nice all the time, oh my god, I'm
sorry.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Let's bring up what she said to me when she was like
we're having beau on thepodcast.
Remember when you didn't callhim back and then he got cancer
and I was like I'm sorry, westill need to connect we do 100,
so we're gonna start with thecancer.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Can we start with that?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
well, I have questions yeah, that's why we
okay.
So that's why that's the onlyreason I wanted beau here.
But it fit in perfectly for tworeasons.
First, y'all have had lovedones come on and I get a loved
one now.
But it's extra good because Idon't want to tell Bo's story.
(08:20):
I'm going to let Bo tell hisstory.
But he had a massive healthcrisis Two weeks after I got
married.
He did our wedding ceremony andI will say it was like the
closest thing like that tohappen and certainly closest in
like our age range, and Icertainly had a lot of feelings.
(08:40):
We all did and I want Bo toshare the story yeah, that's why
he's here.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
More than one wedding , so which wedding?
And I usually say that as ajoke.
I'm not this time yeah that'strue, the most recent wedding.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
That's insane yeah, that wasn't that long that was
not long ago, yeah all right, solast summer, yeah, not even a
year all right.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
So what does it start ?
Were you feeling bad?
What?
How did this all kind of start?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
yeah, so well, I'll start off by saying this is the
first time I've like reallypublicly told this story, um, so
, bear with me, this is more oflike a stream of consciousness
than it is like organized in anyway.
So, but really it startedprobably like March.
(09:27):
Um, you know, I had this littlespot on my gum that just swole
up on me and you know, at thetime I thought I would just, you
know, you just, I was eatinglike granola or something.
I got stuck in my gum and so Iwent to the dentist.
Um, they did, they did an exam,said we're not sure what this
is, you need to go see aperiodontist who specializes in
(09:50):
in gum tissue and things likethat.
So I go to a periodontist.
Um, they did their thing.
They were like we can't findanything.
And so they sent me to anendodontist.
Um, and you know at know, atthat point they did a CT scan
without contrast.
So really, essentially, you'rekind of looking at like an x-ray
(10:12):
, but like a really detailedx-ray, like 3d version, um, and
so we're looking at that.
And she recognized, you know,there was some thickening on the
right side of my jaw, um, whichwas, you know, certainly just
different than than the leftside and you could kind of see
it, but it wasn't like jumpingout at you, um, and so.
(10:35):
So, anyways, um, at that pointshe said, okay, there's really
nothing that I can do because we, you know, you don't need a
root canal, so I'm going torefer you to an oral surgeon.
So I went to an oral surgeon,um, and kind of bounced back and
forth between them for probablyfour months Maybe.
(10:57):
Um, I had, I had two rootcanals and then, uh, and then I
also had what's called a toriremoval, which is terrible.
Essentially, they shave downthe inside of your jaw which was
awful.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
This is pre-wedding, this is all pre-wedding, and
still at this point.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
They haven't said you have cancer.
They just are trying to figureout what's going on.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Yeah, I just had a feeling I'll never forget.
I remember the first time I metwith the oral surgeon, I was
like, hey, been, you know, goingat this for like two months now
, having like major throbbing.
Not just it started in onetooth and then it was spreading
(11:38):
to the other teeth and, you know, by that time it was like
across my entire jaw, and so ifI was exercising or doing
anything, um, I could like feelmy heartbeat all through my, my
jaw and um, and so I knewsomething was up.
But I, you know, I just didn'thave the knowledge base to
really pinpoint exactly whatthat was.
(11:59):
And, uh, and it turns out theydidn't either, and so I'm
bouncing back and forth, backand forth.
They wind up, um, saying theonly thing left to do is is
extract one of your teeth.
And so they took out one of mymolars, um that I had had the
root canal done on and becausethey thought it was infecting.
When they took it out, it wasfine, and they were like, not
(12:21):
only did you not need a rootcanal, but this is like a
completely healthy tooth, um,thanks yeah, exactly exactly,
and um, and so, anyways, um,after that uh, that was around,
that was probably, I think I hadthat done like a week after the
(12:44):
wedding.
And so we go to St Simon for afamily beach trip and it's just,
it's not healing properly.
And so I call my oral surgeon.
He's like all right, come backin, let's do a biopsy of the
tissue.
And so his main concern wasthat it could be squamous cell
(13:05):
carcinoma, and so squamous cellis the most common form of oral
cancer, you know.
So people who dip and smoke andstuff like that's what they
normally present with.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I've never really done any of that and uh, which
is interesting since you'refriends with claire and she
actually do.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I am going to pause because I wish I'd said this
initially.
My brother and I went like theloose cannon route and beau went
to the like not perfection, butlike he was a good kid really
good kid yeah and definitelykind of like it I don't have a
(13:43):
different word but the patriarchof the group like stable,
steady, trusted, like definitelynot doing what my brother and I
did.
That's important for this right,he wasn't a maniac doing acid
in my own sense, no even I don'twant to jump ahead, but even
(14:05):
when I was with, I was with hismom when he got the diagnosis.
I was down at the beach andshe's like, out of any of you
four, I never thought it wouldbe him and I'm like I can
understand thank you for thankyou for that.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
I appreciate it, but it is an important part of the
story because, generallyspeaking, when someone you hear
about someone having this cancer, you think, oh well, they did
it for years, right, like that'sthe assumption.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
And it wasn't that type of cancer either.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, there's a distinction to be made there.
Yeah, it was not.
What I was diagnosed with isalmost 100% genetic.
So I was diagnosed withosteosarcoma, which is 0.06% of
all cancer, so super, super rare, but I can't remember.
(14:52):
So, yeah, so they do the biopsy, we go in to have the biopsy
done.
I get my wife to come with mebecause, cause I, just at that
point I was super worked up, Iwas very, um, not even, quite
frankly, scared, like I knewsomething was going on.
They were being very, you know,casual about the entire thing.
(15:14):
Um, and I got in there and justbroke down and I was like
something's up.
Um, you know, like we need, weneed answers.
And so he was saying he wasonly going to biopsy the tissue.
And I mean, as Claire knows,like I'm a pretty direct person
and and to the point, especiallyin this scenario, to the point
(15:35):
of being like argumentative.
And you know I said, look, wehave, you know, multiple CT
scans that show a thickening onthe right side of my jaw.
You're going to be in there,like you may as well just take a
piece of my jaw too.
And um, and he, you know the,the exact response was well,
we've already extracted yourtooth.
(15:55):
We need to keep as much bone aswe possibly can.
Uh, because we're gonna have toput an implant in, and um, and
I just, she just said, just said, look, I don't care, I need you
to do this because it's goingto give me the ability to sleep
at night.
And um, and, and he was like,all right, we'll see when we get
in there.
So, so, you know, they startthe procedure.
(16:17):
And I'll never forget, you know,sitting in that chair, and he
held up a Petri dish over myhead and was like, okay, here's,
you know, here's the tissuethat we took and there's that
little piece of bone you wantedme to get.
And um, and they sent them,thank God, sent them both off
for pathology.
And, um, you know, two monthsor, I'm sorry, two weeks later,
(16:38):
uh, the bone was what came backas positive.
The bone was what came back aspositive, and so it was positive
for osteosarcoma, mandibularosteosarcoma in particular, like
I said, is 0.06% of all cancer,which is super, super rare.
(17:00):
And to give them a little bitof leeway, I went to Em, I went
to emory, I went to uab, I wentto mayo.
Each of these huge facilitiesmight see one, maybe two of me
every single year wow um, and soan oral surgeon and buckhead
who's doing veneers isn't likeyou know they're really looking
for.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It's not an expert for sure so yeah so I feel like
when I heard this, my thoughtwas like what if I don't know
that?
I would have known to advocatefor myself, because I think I
probably take some stuff that aphysician says I wouldn't have
argued with the tissue piece, Iwouldn't have even thought,
(17:40):
because I'm like, oh, they knowwhat do I know?
What made you advocate orquestion it?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Yeah, I think, um, I mean, I think this is probably
like a bigger conversation, but,um, you know, I think God
blessed me with a very specificpersonality to be in that
situation.
Um, I also, you know, I'vespent my entire, you know, 16
year career in healthcare andthat's all I do every single day
(18:11):
is speak to, to doctors andsurgeons, and, um, you know, and
, and so I.
Another thing, too, is, likeyou know, I saw that CT and I,
you could clearly see somethingwas different and they were
telling me that.
You know it, um, you know itlight.
It had to do with the fact thatI grind my teeth at night.
I'm super stressed.
(18:32):
You chew more heavily on yourright side.
There were a million differentreasons as to why the thickening
was there, and, and I just knewmy body, Like I knew that, that
you're like, except for the wayI feel, yeah, except for the
way.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I feel, and the fact that I've been chewing on the
right side since I was had teeth.
Thank you for bringing that up.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah and uh, you know the fact that, like I was
feeling my heartbeat like evenstanding up out of a chair and
my jaw it was like this is notnormal, um, and so, yeah, I mean
, I think, um, it really had wenot taken the biopsy of my
(19:12):
mandible at that time.
Osteosarcoma is a highly,highly aggressive form of cancer
and it very well could havebeen a completely different
outcome.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
How progressed was it by the time they figured it out
?
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Yeah, so I so the well, the interesting thing is
because all of the CT scans thatwere done, uh, initially with
the oral surgeons and the um, uh, endodontist and everybody that
that was all without contrast.
So again, like, if you've everlooked at a C, at a CT scan,
(19:50):
without contrast, it's basicallylike a 3D image of your bone.
So there wasn't really any wayto show the progression of the
size of the tumor.
You can do that when you have aCT with contrast and so I can
tell you what the size of it waseventually.
(20:10):
So when we did the CT withcontrast, the size of the tumor
was in centimeters, 3.5 by 1.5by 1.5.
So the reason why it didn't likejump out on the initial CT was
because it was elongated, so itran kind of the length of my jaw
or my mandible.
So it ran kind of the length ofmy jaw or my mandible and so it
(20:32):
was sort of like an oval asopposed to, like you know, a
spherical tumor that would justjump out you could see like a
huge bump.
That wasn't the case here.
It was just slightly thickerthan the other side, but I could
feel it.
I mean, I could feel that itstarted in 30 and then it spread
to 31, and then it spread to 29.
(20:53):
And so, like I was tracking,like hey, this thing is growing
or moving and whatever it is,and um, and so yeah, that was
you know kind of the progressionof it.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
So what did they say, Like what was the exact kind of
conversation when they came into give you the news.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, so well, I'll give credit to Dr Aiken, who's
the oral surgeon.
He's an incredible guy.
He and I, you know, I would say, have become friends through
this and he's just like a great,great person.
And so I got the diagnosis.
(21:33):
I think it was 11 days afterthe biopsy, um, and I was at the
office.
I was in our um conference roomwith our CEO and my my phone
rang.
I saw that it was Dr Aiken, youknow, took the phone call and
he told me osteosarcoma.
(21:54):
He just came out and said it.
He was like, he was like I hateto be the one to tell you this,
but you've been diagnosed with,with osteosarcoma, um, the
pathology came back asosteosarcoma and um, and we
talked through the grading itwas a grade two, which is like a
mid-grade, uh, that's how youdetermine how aggressive the
cells are.
(22:14):
Um, and you know, and I think,like I think with I'm not by any
means a doctor, but I've spentmy entire career in health care
and I know a lot about thisstuff and also my second uncle
died of osteosarcoma.
My dog, which was like my son,died of osteosarcoma.
(22:38):
So when I heard osteosarcoma, Imean I was thinking months, you
know, and so I just had afull-blown panic attack.
Just a full blown panic attackin the middle, like at our
office I remember you knowsitting.
I just walked into our uh, myCEO's office and just said, hey,
(23:04):
I got diagnosed withosteosarcoma, I gotta go.
Um, went home, Our daughter was, uh was at home sick that day.
And daughter was uh was at homesick that day.
And you know, call my wife onthe way and uh, and I'm just
like coming apart and um, and sohow does your wife respond?
Uh, so you kind of have to know,my wife's a nurse and she is, I
(23:27):
mean, like the best person Iknow and um, and she's also like
very, very stoic, yeah, likeeven keel, um, like, whereas I'm
pretty emotional and uh, andyeah, and and so anyways, when I
called and told her, it wasmore of like okay, what's next?
(23:52):
I don't even remember exactlywhat she said, but she didn't
start crying or freaking out.
I was doing that.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
They say that's the way it works in a healthy
relationship.
If one of you is freaking out,the other one is like, okay, but
we've got a list and we'regoing to work the plan.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Was that helpful to you for her not to freak out?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
oh, yeah, for sure.
I mean yeah, without a doubt.
I don't think.
I think, throughout the entireprocess that we've been through
over the last 12 months, I thinkI've seen her cry, maybe one
time.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
Um and uh, and I think it was.
I think it was like either theday I was diagnosed or the or
the next Um, so anyways, I gethome and, um, my daughter's
there.
So I didn't want her to see mefreaking out.
I wasn't really sure what to do.
(24:51):
Her to see me freaking out, Iwasn't really sure what to do.
So I called my best friend,grant Um, and I just explained
the situation and I'm kind oftrying to gather my thoughts
about like okay, what can I doto be proactive about this?
That's just, that's just how Iam.
I'm like, okay, we have aproblem, how are we going to fix
it?
And uh, and so I was like, evenwith all the emotions.
(25:14):
Yeah, like that was well.
I'll never forget the firstthing I said to Dr Aiken when he
told me I was diagnosed.
I said, okay, what do we donext?
I was like what's the what'sthe plan?
And the cool thing about it ishis wife is um head of neurology
at Emory.
Wow.
And so before they even calledme, they had already scheduled
(25:37):
me to be.
I was diagnosed on Friday.
They already had me scheduledto meet with the
interdisciplinary team at Emoryon Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
So oncology, surgical oncology, radiation oncology,
like we were meeting witheverybody all at once.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Dang talk about a gift.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Oh yeah, and I mean, I think it's the way God aligned
this, and we'll go through howeverything unfolded, because
it's really beyond anything Icould have put together, but the
you know, I can't remember.
Oh, oh yeah.
So, grant, grant, I call Grant.
(26:16):
I said hey, look man, come pickme up.
I've been diagnosed with cancer.
Um, I just need to, we justneed to go somewhere, um and so,
as he's coming to pick me up,I'm in the front yard.
I'm literally like throwing upI'm.
I'm so dist, distraught, I'mhaving a full panic attack which
I've never, ever had in my life, like that's not just, I've
(26:39):
never is that because youthought you would make it?
yeah, I thought.
I mean I thought when I heardosteosarcoma I thought death
sentence, like you're because ofyour uncle and your puppy yeah
and uh, well, and the fact that,like you know, so I I've been
in the operating room with thesepatients, like I've I've, you
(27:01):
know, worked for strikerorthopedics, where we're doing,
you know, knee replacements onkids who have osteosarcoma in
the femur or the tibia orwhatever it may be, and I know
the prognosis that comes withthat.
And so when I heard it, I justfreaked out, but in that moment
I was thinking, okay, you know,I need answers, like I'm very
(27:27):
much like a right now person,and if I can't, um, you know,
either get a definitive answeror or move something forward, I
just feel even more panicked.
And so so, anyways, I, I, theonly person I thought to call
was um, uh, surgical oncologistthat I used to work with at
(27:49):
Piedmont hospitals, and I, youknow, I worked with him for
probably three years and and heand I, you know, had become
friends and would go huntingtogether and stuff like that, um
, but I hadn't talked to him inprobably two or three years, and
um, so I just looked, as youknow, looked up his number on my
(28:09):
phone, called his cell, andthis guy's in the operating room
, like all day, every day.
So I was like there's no chancehe's answering.
He answered on the second ringand was just like hey man, how
you doing?
And I'm just beside myself.
I'm like Kevin, I've beendiagnosed with osteosarcoma.
I have no idea what to do.
I'm panicking and I need toknow if it's spread.
(28:30):
Idea what to do.
I'm panicking and I need toknow if it's spread.
And without skipping a beat,he's like get in the car, meet
me at Piedmont ER.
We're scanning you from head totoe, I'll see you in 10 minutes
.
And so so Grant comes and picksme up, we immediately drive to
the emergency room and uh, and Ihad full, full head to toe, uh,
(28:51):
ct scan, with and withoutcontrast, within maybe two hours
of being diagnosed.
And then, uh, and was able toget an answer to you know, it's
still localized in your jaw.
We don't see it anywhere elsein your body.
Um, and, and you know, and sothat allowed me to at least
(29:12):
bridge the gap from Friday whenI was diagnosed, to Tuesday when
I got to meet with theinterdisciplinary team at Emory.
Um, okay, I've got.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I'm going to ask you a question because I feel like,
just based on what I know aboutpeople, is there's someone who's
hearing this story and they'rein an in-between and they don't
have that guy on their phone,like that panic attack moment,
whether I mean this is obviouslyvery substantial crisis that
you're having.
But if someone's in a crisislike that and they don't have
(29:46):
that guy on their phone, whatwould you tell them to do?
Speaker 3 (29:54):
I think the well, I think, um, I think everybody I
don't want to say everybody hasthat guy on their phone, but
everybody, I think, has theability to connect with somebody
that can help them.
And I think a lot of people gointo I've been diagnosed and I
(30:17):
need to internalize and notspeak and not tell anybody
anything.
I'm the exact opposite.
I'm like I need to get on theroof and start screaming what
I've been diagnosed with and seewho are the experts in this
field and who can I, you know,align with in order to be able
to get the answers that I need.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
You already did something that we advocate for,
which is you called a tier one,you called Grant.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, you called Grant 100%, tier one.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Head your ass over here.
We're going somewhere.
I don't know where we're goingand by the time he got there you
already had a plan.
Yeah, somewhere I don't knowwhere we're going and by the
time he got there, you alreadyhad a plan.
Yeah, and I love that because Ifeel like that is something
that especially like most of ourlisteners and because will's
here.
We do have more men listenersmaybe than we would normally
have, but because most of ourlisteners are women, I do think
women do tend to like holy shitbecause, because the if you're a
(31:07):
mom, or even this idea of likestressing everybody out with
this big burden thing that Ijust got, I think like women
needed to hear that get on theroof and scream it.
See if you can find someone whoknows someone who knows someone
, because even if you don't havethe guy's number in your phone,
somebody in your network ofsocial media or your friends,
your closest people, might havethat one connection you need to
(31:29):
like.
Get you there faster to thatpiece that you're looking for to
get you there faster, to thatpiece that you're looking for to
get you from friday to tuesdayyeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
So I think that's the personal advocacy side of it.
I think, um, you know mypersonal experience.
I think, um, you know, like Isaid, we can go through how
everything continued to progress, but, um, you know,
statistically speaking, what Iwas diagnosed with and how
(31:59):
things unfolded moving forward.
I think it's far beyond myability to network into things.
Um, I think you know God builtme a very specific way and put
me into a very specificsituation and gave me the
resources to be able to properlynavigate that, so that my
(32:20):
prayer is that he can then usethis for good and, um, and
that's quite frankly, why I'msitting here and so, um, so,
just to move back, you know wewere able to get the CT scan
with Dr Nguyen at Piedmontwithin a couple of hours.
Um, and you know to your point,like calling a tier one I mean,
(32:43):
there's a handful of peoplealways, I think I I'm going to
butcher this, but I heard it ona podcast last week Um, you know
who's the first person thatcomes to mind if you're, you
know, arrested in a foreigncountry and you have one phone
(33:03):
call, who are you going to call?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Uh, exactly, I literally I'm flying there right
now.
I've called my attorney.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
But those are the people who are like you know,
the, the ones who are actionoriented, that are going to.
They don't care what you knowother people, what the rules of
the game are.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Honestly, it's the moment you need the friend who
tries so hard to fix everythingfor you.
This is when you need her orhim you need that one friend
who's like I made the five pointplan.
I've got it, don't worry, I'vecalled the attorney.
I've got a guy that's probablya doctor for dogs, but he's
gonna call somebody.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
You know what I mean like.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I feel like this is the thing you need is like in
this moment where you don't know, having those people around you
, like your wife, who's likegreat.
What's the next step?
Yeah, and grant who's like?
Great, what's the next step?
Yeah, and Grant who's like, I'mdriving you to Piedmont, and
the dude who's?
Like I'll see T-Scan you rightnow.
I mean, like, how great is itto be surrounded by those people
who will stand in the gap foryou when you're like, holy shit,
(34:00):
my life is blowing?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
up, yeah, and that came to fruition even more on a
much bigger scale as I continuedto go through this and and
really be able to always knewthat I had a lot of people
around me that loved me and agreat community of people, um,
but to see that in action waslike one of the biggest
(34:24):
blessings that came out of thisentire situation.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
As you guys can tell, the story is really intense and
there's a lot to it and there'sstill a lot more to be told, so
we couldn't fit it all intothis one episode.
So come back in two weeks whenthe new episode comes out and
you guys can hear the rest ofBo's story.
It's pretty crazy.
I couldn't believe what I washearing.
You guys will not believe it aswell, and you'll get to hear
Claire laugh inappropriately attimes when you know no one
should be laughing.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
On the next, before you Cut Bangs Before you Cut
Bangs is hosted by Laura Quickand Claire Feerman and produced
by Will Lockamane.
Follow along with us everywhere.
Please subscribe to the podcast, find us on Instagram.
Mara Quick and Claire Feermanand produced by Will.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Lockman.
Follow along with us everywhere.
Please subscribe to the podcast.
Find us on Instagram.
We're constantly doing polls.
We want to know what you think,and I know that you probably
know this, but reviewing us andgiving us five stars matters
more than anything, and we areso grateful to have you here.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
We talk so much on the podcast about seeking
therapy, getting help, findingresources.
I would love to be able to helpyou with that.
My website is up and runningand beautiful.
It is goodgrowthwithclairecom.
So whether you're in the stateof Alabama or not, I want to be
able to help direct you to theright resources.
Goodgrowthwithclairecom.
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