Menopaused

A conversation about the trials and tribulations of going through menopause.  The topic of menopause begins very practical and "medical", then morphs into how women take care of themselves and the need for community.  How do we belong and be authentic within ourselves and with others.  How do or did you find the community that supports you the best?  When choosing a doctor, what do you need from them to be supported?  Could menopause be a gift that brings a woman's power back to herself?

Episode Transcript

Jennifer Wong (00:05):
Hello and welcome to our Podcast Being F'ing
Honest. I'm Jennifer Wong.

Charity Rodriguez (00:10):
And I'm Charity Rodriguez.

Jennifer Wong (00:12):
And we invite you into our conversations of
everyday issues experienced byeveryday people with honesty,
humor and authenticity. Our hopeis to bring people together in
community by creating safeenvironments of non judgement.
And we know this can be tough.
So we will go ahead and gofirst.

Charity Rodriguez (00:30):
Okay, so there we go. All right, awesome.
So I think those are greattopics. Yes, I think those are
really great topics. And well,from my standpoint, I'm ready to
move forward now, like I'm donewith a class like, thank
goodness, I got a lot of goodinformation out of it. I have to
share with you what I did. Imean, I don't have to, but I

(00:51):
want to share with you what Idid just so you can hear.

Jennifer Wong (00:54):
Thank you. Did you research on the menopause
topic?

Charity Rodriguez (00:58):
Yes, I did.
And man that opened up a wholecan of worms. Like, You know, it
was like, okay, yeah, I'm gonnajust pass over that. And then
it's like, oh, my gosh, I feelso ignorant. Like, I feel like
such an idiot, that I didn'tknow all of this stuff about my
body. But then when you rememberback in the day, we had to, when

(01:24):
there was like home economics,and there was a shop class there
were all of these things to kindof get you ready for the world,
right? How to fill out yourcheckbook, how to go to the
bank, make deposits, you know,just kind of those kinds of
things. There was the healthclass that talked about the

(01:44):
differences of, you know, menand girls and boys and the
transitions that our bodieswould be going through, like all
of that stuff. But we don't havethat for menopause. Like we
just, like somebody mysteriouslyis supposed to, you know, we're
supposed to witness that maybethrough our parents, right. But
by the time they're goingthrough that, like we're long

(02:07):
gone, like, asking what's goingon with you right now, if we
feel something funny is goingon? We're like running for the
hills. Going, let me let me getmy notebook. Tell me, what do
you feel? You feeling somechanges? Like, I don't know
what I thought I knew whatestrogen and progesterone was

(02:29):
like, I don't know this stuff.

Jennifer Wong (02:32):
Well, you know, what's so funny is I think that
when I was doing the research,too, I didn't actually look up
like are there are menopauseclasses and workshops? I didn't
go that far. But, so, I don'tknow. I'm sure they exist. But
what I found is when I was doingmy research, everything was go
see your gynecologist like,we're supposed to get everything

(02:54):
from them. Yeah. Which I thinkthat's a it's a, it's a good
start. But I don't think thatthey look at the holistic piece,
either. Because when I was doingthe research, it was like, they
just looked at one little piece,you know, or they just wanted to
figure out what drugs to put youon was was how I thought, well,
if you're having this and thisand this, then you need this.

(03:14):
You need Premarin or you needthis or this. And I was like, so
but me being the holistic I waslike, Well, how can we? And of
course, I got onto the topic ofvaginal atrophy because that, to
me seemed the most important. Imean, oh my god, I can't not
have sex. Like, I don't want tolive out the rest of my life

(03:35):
sexless like that became and soI thought it was really funny
that that was what became mostimportant thing to me. So I went
down a whole rabbit hole onvaginal atrophy. And what I did
find interesting was even theMayo Clinic was suggesting not
doing, you know, like estrogentherapy, if you can avoid it.

(03:57):
They actually were saying thatbecause now it's linked so much
to breast cancers. So yeah, thatwas really cool. I was kind of
happy to see that they arelooking at alternatives.

Charity Rodriguez (04:08):
They are but you have to be your own
advocate. How can you be yourown advocate if you don't know?
You don't know what's going on.
You don't know how tocommunicate with your doctor. So
people, you know, they'll go totheir doctor, like I said, you
know, go to your gynecologist.

(04:31):
That is if they even have agynecologist because another
thing I've learned is noteverybody has a gynecologist.
Not everybody goes in to dotheir, yearly annual women's
exam. They're like either I'mnot trying to get pregnant or
you know, I don't have anythinggoing on down there. Sure. I'm

(04:51):
good. I don't need to go do thatanymore. Or they're done having
babies like whatever. Done, Idon't you. Just your life is
moves on. So they don't take thetime to take care of themselves.
And I think that was a big thingthat I was reading about that
women. We don't take care ofourselves. We just don't. But as

(05:18):
a as a whole, right? Becausewe're either caretakers for
ourselves caretakers forsomebody else working, you know,
crazy long hours, you just pop apill to like, keep going. And
that's it, you just keep going.
So maybe someone is having sex,maybe they're not having sex,
but, you know, they're justdealing with that in different

(05:40):
ways. Right? They'll selfmedicate with other drugs,
alcohol, pouring themselves intotheir work.

Jennifer Wong (05:49):
Absolutely. And you know, what else I found
interesting was there was almostthis level of shame. Yes, when
we get to this age, there's somuch shame around it that you
don't even want to talk aboutit. Like that was a big thing.
In my research, even the MayoClinic had said sometimes this
these things don't get discussedwith your doctors because
there's embarrassment about yoursexual activity, human

(06:12):
sexuality. And I think whatbrings us finally to the doctor
to do the research is when we'rehaving pain or suffering, right?
It's like, well, I'm I'm havingnight sweats that will take us
to the doctor, I'm having crazymood swings that will take us to
the doctor, I'm having painfulsex. You know, it's like those
are the things that finally getus in is when we are stopped.

(06:35):
And we in our modes of copingaren't working anymore. So yeah,
this whole shame thing I foundreally interesting around it.
And, you know, I know that I hadmentioned that, that TV show
better things by Pamela Adlonthat, actually, Maryland brought
it to me years ago. And so I'vewatched it, nor in the last

(06:55):
season, but I think it wasseason four, she does like a
whole thing. On menopause. She'sdoing like a documentary film.
And so she's interviewing like,people that are over 100. And
then she just does a whole bunchof interviews with women that
are all their their faces areblacked out. And they're just
talking about the first timethey had their period. What it

(07:16):
was like when they went throughmenopause. And when she got to
the menopause piece, it waslike, there's so much shame, you
know, we're so invisible. We'renot keeping up anymore, we're
not relevant, you know, I thinknaturally and physically, we
can't keep up to be thatrelevant age group that we're so
conditioned to believe is allpowerful in our society. And so

(07:40):
it was just and then she doeslike a little cameo at the end.
And it's really powerful. Andher kids are like, woof, they
were tripping out. Because, youknow, when you're in your teens,
you're not thinking about any ofthis. And I just thought that
she goes, we're invisible. Youknow, we just become invisible
the things that we once wereirritated with, like men how,

(08:02):
you know, Wolf whistling at usor coming up and being
aggressive and asking us for anumber. Those things don't even
happen anymore. You know? Yeah,yeah. Oh, are we happy about
that? Huh?

Charity Rodriguez (08:15):
Well, but that's a hard conversation to
have with people because youhave so many different
viewpoints coming at you likeyou shouldn't want that. No one
should be doing that. But thenwell, but no one's doing that.
Like, am I less of a woman now?
Like what's you know, my nolonger you know, as cute and
peppy as I thought I was, like,I do really cute and peppy.

(08:35):
Like, aren't you noticing thattoday? Like what's something?
Yeah, that's a hard one. That isa hard one. But I totally agree
with you about we do becomeinvisible. Like I have noticed
that that you do becomeinvisible. And that kind of
national out there. conversationnow becomes a very quiet one

(08:57):
sided conversation. And if youdon't initiate it, it's not
going to happen. It's not gonnahappen with your partner. It's
not gonna happen with yourfriends. It's not gonna happen
with your doctor. Like, you'rejust gonna kind of go through
this alone. And that even if,but there was somebody I was
reading about that said, oh,there's all this information out

(09:18):
there about menopause. You canjust go and google it. That if
you think to yourself, I'm goingthrough something right now let
me Google this to see what likeyou can be so deep into life
that you don't know to stop andgo and people aren't reflective

(09:38):
they don't take a moment to stopthey can afford to stop and go
What's wrong like they'll justcry into a pillow go into a room
like this self medicate, youknow, but they don't. Two chests
get by. And how do you know atthat point when you You need to

(09:58):
go to your therapist, or whenyou go and discuss this with
your general practitioner, ormaybe, you know, maybe this
isn't the topic for my generalpractitioner, maybe it is a
topic for my gynecologist, butyou don't want to have to retell
that whole story to everysingle, you know, right? Well,

(10:19):
this is us going on, right? Thisis okay, then the wrong person.
Next, well, this is what's goingon, you know, it's already an
icky conversation, like, theydon't want to talk about it.
Right. So, and then the thoughtthat you have to go in with
strangers sometimes, like, maybeyou have a report with your
general practitioner, but maybethey're not fully equipped to

(10:41):
really help you out. They'llgive you the scientific and very
factual black and white, but canthey support you? You know,
holistically from an emotionalstandpoint? No, so what are they
going to do? Here take, youknow, I can, the best I can do

(11:02):
if you're feeling a little downis, here's some low grade
medicine, try this out. And, youknow, let's see how you feel.
But then it's unused to go.
That's not enough. That's notwhat I want, or I need, I'm
gonna have to keep looking. OrOkay, fine, whatever, you told

(11:25):
me to take this, I'll just takeit. And that's it.

Jennifer Wong (11:31):
But you know, I think that's what's so important
about our communities, because Ihave gotten most of any
information that I know on thisfrom my friends, and just asking
what they've done and whatthey've gone through. And, you
know, they go to their doctor,well, my doctor said this, well,
why you know, and then I can askquestions and get a little more
input, what kind of side effectsare getting worse? Is it

(11:51):
working? Or is it not working,you know, so that hopefully, I
don't have to do those 10things. But I think that's where
the community becomes reallyimportant. And I will say, I
have a roommate that I've beenliving with for the last two
years, and she's in her,actually, she's going to be, I
think, 68 this year, and shelooks amazing. And it's been so

(12:13):
nice to be living with her.
Because what she always remindsme is, you need to slow down,
you need to rest, you're goingthrough this change, even though
you have kids and everything.
And she reminds me all the time.
Well, you really should take iteasy on yourself today, you
know, thank God. I mean, I thinkit's like such a gift to live
with another woman. Because shereminds me of that my kids,

(12:35):
their kids, you know, it'sdifferent. But to have a peer in
the house has been so powerful,you know, to just, she's already
gone through it. You know, so IA lot of that's why I asked her.
So what did you do? What haveyou done? And now out? You know,
she's 20 years past? Well,almost 30 years past, she went
into menopause early in herearly 40s. Oh, well, that, you

(12:58):
know, she's been trying allkinds of things. And, and I
listen, you know, and I stillhave to take it with a grain of
salt, because everybody'sdifferent. Right? So, you know,
certain things, she'll say,Well, you gotta get on it right
now, or it's gonna be too late.
And I'm like, I don't know, Idon't know, if I want to go
start doing estrogen therapyright now when I don't need it,

(13:18):
you know, right. So it's just,we still have to know ourselves
what's right for us, you know,and I think one of the things
with Western medicine being sosmall in my mind, like, they're
really good at this two inchbox, you know, they they're
special. Everybody wants to be aspecialist, you know, and they
know that really, yes. But Ithink it's really up to us to

(13:41):
empower ourselves. Yes, listento our body, slow down, even
though we think we can't becausethe reality is we can, but it
just doesn't feel that way. Andreally listen to what we need
and go in the direction that weare drawn, you know, it may not
always be the right one, butmaybe going that way helps
somebody else like Well, I triedthis and this to happen, you

(14:02):
know. So we're also interrelatedin that, but yet we have to be
totally connected to ourselvesto know which direction to go.
You know,

Charity Rodriguez (14:12):
but that can be difficult. Is the stopping
and listening to yourself.
Because sometimes it's easier tojust deal with the madness in
front of you. Right than to dealwith the quiet inside of you.
Like if you you know, like it'sjust easier to react to people

(14:39):
and react to situations but it'shard to stop and just
contemplate and who are you andwhere are you in what do you
want? Not what what somebodyelse needs like I need to get my
kid to school I need to get, youknow home to make dinner for the
family. I Need to go to thismeeting? And you just you need

(15:01):
that, but you don't? What do youneed? And people can't always
answer that, or, or they knowthe answer. But they're afraid
to accept that or want that orsay that, you know, they're
afraid to say, I don't reallywant to have it all. I don't

(15:22):
really want to be doing all ofthese things. I don't want to
take my kid to soccer practice,and I don't want to have to make
dinner. And I don't want to goto that meeting. I don't want
you know, I don't care if thehouse is dirty right now. I
don't, right? Like they don'twant to see all of that. Because
it's kind of like, once you openthat can of worms, it's kind of
hard to push it back. In thatyou have to go and deal with

(15:45):
that. And people don't want todeal with that. So they just
keep on that your day, thetrajectory that they're on.

Jennifer Wong (15:56):
Right? Where do you think you fit in on that?

Charity Rodriguez (16:02):
I'm not one to walk the path that everybody
else walks. And I know that'salways getting me in trouble.
And that's constantly a littlebit of a frustration, because I
don't know what to say I feelalone. But I I don't have other
peers to talk to to say, let'sget out this, you know, roller

(16:23):
coaster, and let's just go seewhat's down that way. Because
that's kind of me. Everybody'slooking to the left hand, I
gotta be the one looking to theright. And everyone's looking up
and I'm looking down. Okay,okay. Okay. So I, I do try to

(16:45):
Okay. Oh, everybody's lookingup. Look up. Look up. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. But I'm still like,look at, like, and then I'll
like, grab a little ofwhatever's down there and just
take it home with me. And I'llexamine that and explore that.
And just like, you know, I'llcome back to it later by myself

(17:06):
when I'm not, you know, and I'lljust enjoy that.

Jennifer Wong (17:10):
What would you say that's part of that going
in, and just seeing what youlike, not what you need and what
everybody else needs.

Charity Rodriguez (17:20):
Sometimes, it's just like, well, I don't
want to be on that path bymyself. Like, I don't want to be
looking down by me, like, whatcan somebody else be looking to?
So we can have this sharedexperience? And go, like, Isn't
this awesome? versus, you know,everyone's looking up? And like,
oh, look, this is awesome. Andit's like, yeah, but this is
awesome, too. Like, can't wehave both? Like, I can look up,

(17:40):
I see that, that's awesome. ButI could also look down and go,
there's something to offer heretoo. And but I don't feel that
people want to hear that. Youknow, it's just like, it's
easier to go with the grainright than against the,

Jennifer Wong (17:59):
unless you find any grain because I hang out, I
guess is the word I connect I, Ishare my time with a group of
women that they think like me,and we make sure we do things
for ourselves. Like I justbooked a pottery class with my
girlfriend for next Friday,we're just going to do it. And I

(18:19):
see that same girlfriend and acouple other girlfriends every
Friday, and we go down to theocean, and we do our milk and
honey rituals, you know, and wewere all business owners, every
single one of them that I godown there, we own our own
business. So we are busy. We'veall raised kids, some of them
have grandbabies. And it's like,we do, I'm in that group that

(18:39):
says, we are looking down. Andnow we're looking up and looking
down. So I think that it mightbe I know, for me, it was just
finding that community. Before Ifound my community, I felt a lot
like I didn't have a choice. Ididn't know what to do. I just
had to do what was in front ofme. And I feel that a lot. I
mean, don't get me wrong, I meanthat probably 70 to 80% of the

(19:02):
time. But I do have a crew thatwill be like, Hey, we got to go
do this. You know, we got to godo that. What about this ritual?
And to be quite honest, of allmy friends, there's probably
seven of us that I see kind ofregularly. I'm usually the one
going can we do this? Can we dothat? Can we book this because I
need it, you know, and they'reusually like Yeah, yeah, but I'm

(19:24):
kind of the member on Love Boat.
Julie, the UFC activitiesdirector. Yeah, that's me. Hey,
let's go do this, you know, andmostly because I need it. Yeah,
you know, it's like, I have todo this, or I'm gonna go frickin
insane. I can't jump on thehamster wheel anymore. I'm done.

Charity Rodriguez (19:46):
Okay, but you've also lived for the most
part in the same area. RightLike you've moved around town
but you been from SouthernCalifornia and you stayed in
Southern California. you've hadtime to build and cultivate and
nourish and support thoserelationships, right?

Jennifer Wong (20:06):
Some of them, some of them. Yeah. And I see
where you're going with that. Isee where you're going with
that. But I will say that I'vebeen in Orange County for 30
years, but my crew is just thelast six. This is just the last
six years. I didn't have anybodybefore that really?

Charity Rodriguez (20:27):
Why would you say the thing happened six years
ago, like what?

Jennifer Wong (20:30):
Well, I had a health crisis for one. And that
sent me on a holistic journey,but it actually sent me on a
spiritual journey. And that, Ithink it was for me finding what
I valued most. And then puttingmyself out into those groups and
communities and events andworkshops and classes with the
same people. Because that's howI met almost all of them was

(20:54):
through my spiritual work.
Right? Absolutely. I had afriend and her our kids were in
school together. But we bothlike realized we kind of were
into the same spirituality. Andthen I met her friend, and then
we started doing rituals. Andthen I met my shamanic teacher.
And then through the shamanicwork, I met a bunch of people,
you know, so it's all these areall people that I've met through

(21:15):
my deepest value, really what Ivalue most in my life, I value
my spirituality over my kidsover my job over my health,
everything like that is thenumber one. And so

Charity Rodriguez (21:30):
Okay. What does that mean? Well, let's go
back. What do you mean that youvalue your spirituality? What
does that mean?

Jennifer Wong (21:37):
It's, that's where I put my focus my time and
my energy the most?

Charity Rodriguez (21:42):
And how do you define your spirituality?

Jennifer Wong (21:44):
It's taken a long time. And it's always defining
me really, but anything where Iam honoring something greater
than me, and but I'm alsoconnected to and makes us all
one. So anything that deals inthose realms, I feel are very
important, because it helps meto prioritize what is meaningful

(22:07):
to me. Like when I die, what doI feel is going to be important,
and my spirituality is kind ofwhat keeps me on that path of
being aware of what's mostimportant to me, and not getting
too far away from what's not,you know, I just, I don't want
to live like that. And I thinkhaving a health crisis helped me

(22:27):
because once I couldn't drive orwalk, or, you know, I was in the
hospital for four days, itshifted things, you know, like,
God, how do I want to live therest of my life. I don't want to
live the way. I don't knowreally what I want to how I want
to go. But I know I don't wantto do this anymore. And then I
just started diving into stuff.
Some stuff stuck, and a lot ofstuff didn't.

Charity Rodriguez (22:51):
What has stuck?

Jennifer Wong (22:54):
The spiritual stuff, the holistic stuff, the
bigger picture stuff. And I willtell you, after doing a lot of
studying astrology, from ascientific perspective, when I
look at my chart, and all theplanets and what a lot of people
seem to say the same thing aboutplanets, that I got all that
makes sense, like, I'm a bigpicture person, I like to look

(23:16):
at the big picture. That's whyit's easy. For me, I think, to
get into the spirituality, Ihave very few energetic things
that are into the details. Iknow I need the details. But I'd
much rather look at the bigpicture. And that's just that's
me. It's my gift and my curse,you know? And then I think other
people are the opposite. So Ialways love to be around people

(23:38):
that are very detail oriented,because it helps balance me and
then I have to pull away becausethen it also wears me out. Yeah,
it's like, oh, now I just needto, you know what I just thought
about recently. Have you everseen that movie contact with
Jodie Foster? Yes. And so theybuild this machine, and they're
supposed to go meet with thealiens or whatever, in this
machine, right. And so I keephaving this vision. And I get

(24:00):
this over since I seen thatmovie every once in awhile, but
the last year, it's been reallystrong. There's this part where
they built this machine. Andthey built it exactly like the
specs that were given to him bythis entity out in the universe,
right? They built it. And thenhumankind said, Well, it's not
safe, we got to put this chairin it for your safety. So they

(24:21):
put this chair in it and she youknow, the science is like but
that it wasn't in the it wasn'tin the blueprints, we don't
care, you need to be safe. Soshe sits in it. And she's going
through the wormhole orwhatever. And the chair is just
like it's almost giving her likewhiplash, it is banging around
so much. And then finally itbreaks. And she's perfectly fine
in this pot, like the chair wasnever ever needed. So I keep

(24:47):
hearing that in my meditationsthat keeps coming through that.
That's just how I live like Ikeep you know, okay, I'll put
the chair in. You said it safeand then I'll use it until it
breaks and then it's likeusually once it breaks all those
confines and restrictions andcontrol. I'm out floating, but
I'm not getting hurt anymore.
You know, it's like, if I canlet go of this need to control

(25:08):
everything. Yes, I feel free inmyself, you know, chaos is still
happening. But I'm not in thischair just getting my brain
scrambled. I'm like, It's okay.
You know, and I love being inthat place. Like what happens if
I just let go? What happens if Ijust trust that the next thing I

(25:33):
look at for menopause is what Ineed to know, because I can't
know it all. My brain won't holdit all. It just won't. And
there's so much that's why Isaid, when I was doing the, the
information, you know, when Iwas doing the research, I went
down the warmth. vaginal atrophyI didn't, I didn't, I all the
other stuff. I didn't care. Ijust kept looking at links for

(25:53):
that. Because of this moment. Iguess that's what I needed to
know. You know, that's where Iwas drawn. Sometimes I think
it's okay to go with what drawsus instead of what we think we
should be doing.

Charity Rodriguez (26:05):
That's true.
No, I totally, I totally,totally believe that. Because,
yeah, everybody's journey isdifferent. Everybody needs
something different. And so Idon't always like people telling
me what to do. Because I lovehearing their story from this is
what happened to me. And, youknow, just giving you a
perspective of this is whathappened, this is what I did,

(26:27):
here's my outcomes. Okay, great.
But when you try to, to packagethat and sell it out as a fix,
offer it to everybody then I'mlike, no, because that's not,
I'm not you, I'm not in yoursituation, I'm not in your
circumstance. And that's, I'm adifferent person. I love that,
you know, take what I need tofrom that, and apply it to

(26:50):
myself, and then I'll keep goingon my journey. But not that
everything that, you know, here,you too can try this. And you'll
have a better safer, smarter,sexier life, you know, whatever.
It's like, ya know, and I thinkI have a little more, I'm more

(27:12):
conscious of myself, even thoughI may not know where I'm going.
I am honest with myself. And Iam able to go, do I need, I can
stop myself and go, do I need tobe doing this? Like it may, you
know, put the wheels and it maymake other people uncomfortable
or whatever. But do I need to dothis? And if I'm like, No, I

(27:35):
don't need to do this. I canstop and I will stop. And I'll
just like, Okay, everybody elseis going by. And I'm not moving
with them. But that's not what Ineed to be doing right now.
Because I just don't feel it.
Like I don't feel it. Yeah, ifit doesn't feel right. What am I
doing? I am a person I have to Idon't know. I'm a little I have

(27:55):
to feel I need my science, but Ialso have to feel things. And I
have to I'm not looking at thestars just yet. But I do feel
like I think it's in alignment.
And one of these things, right,like, just like stuff like

(28:18):
what's happening at that moment?
Yeah, it's things in alignment.
Do I feel everybody's vibe? Isit working? Like the person I'm
dealing with? I am a bigbeliever in in vibes. So I don't
you know, I can't describe that.
I can't tell you what thatmeans. Intuition. It's, you
know, my instinct, the whatever,I don't know what you want to

(28:43):
call it. But if I don't jivewith the person, if it if I
don't feel that someone's beinghonest. And I don't mean that
they're a bad person orwhatever, just, they're just not
where we're not going to workbecause they're looking, you can
look at stuff with a rosy tintedglass, that's fine and put those
on I can put those on to and youcan look at things and you know,

(29:06):
think of see the future and soyour youth can see, you're
building all of these things toget you where you want to go.
But don't come up and you know,deny that the tree is green.
Like, I'm looking at the cheesegreen. Give me something else
and that's fine, but if you'relucky, I say no. She is a

(29:30):
rainbow. Okay, I'm out. Like Ican't know if you can say like,
but we can, you know, like whydoes the tree have to be green?
Why can't we have rainbow treesand I'm gonna get to work on
making a rainbow. Oh, yeah.
Okay, let's go. Yes. Oh, intothat. But, you know, no, the

(29:53):
tree is not green. It's rainbow.
Right. Yeah, I can't work withthem. Yeah. All right, so I
don't know. But it's, it's hard,you got to ask yourself some
hard questions of why am I sad?
Why am I depressed? What ismaking me? You know? Is it

(30:13):
something internal that I haveno control over? Is it because I
keep putting myself insituations that I have no
business putting myself into,and I keep getting the same
result. But I keep on doing it.
Like, can you sit back, be selfreflective and go? Okay, I did
this, and I did this. And I did.

(30:35):
Oh, shoot, I did it again.
Because I did this before I didthis at work. I did this with my
family. I did this with myself,like, can you do that?
Or and are you willing? Like howyou may not be able to do that,
but are you willing to go there?
Are you willing to you know,somebody's like saying, Hey, I'm
gonna hold up a mirror. You maynot like what you're gonna see.

(30:56):
But are you willing to look inthe mirror? And they're like,
No, I can't look at it. Okay,you're not ready. Maybe later
you might be. But I'm always onelike, Yeah, let's go show me the
mirror. Like I want to see atall. See everything you like,
the good and the bad? And like,Okay, I'll be like, Yeah, okay.
But I want to fix it. Like, whatcan I do? Change that

(31:22):
reflection, that image? Youknow, what, I believe in self
improvement, I believe in, inevolving and changing and
adapting. I don't like beingstatic. And I like the word now.
My husband uses it a lot. AndI'm like, yeah, it's just making

(31:45):
informed choices. Like, that'swhat sometimes we make, we've
made choices, we made decisions.
Because we didn't know anybetter. We didn't know that we
could have done X, Y, and Z,like all we saw was, you know, A
or B. And but now it's like youcan write when you're young.

(32:06):
When you're 18, and you're inyour 20s. And whenever you have
no clue, you don't know you'rejust doing things. But then like
by 2050, you kind of like, okay,if you left your house and you
got a job and you went out intothe world, you've been around
the block a few times, okay. Soyou know, you know, a little bit

(32:28):
more than you knew when you were16, that you knew when you were
20, then you knew maybe when youwere in 30. So now you can make
some informed choices, go getinformation and know that if you
don't have the information, youneed to start asking. Because I
remember when I was younger, Iwouldn't add I'd be so

(32:50):
embarrassed to ask anybody forhelp or show that I don't know
something right to that. I don'tI don't know what that means. I
don't know what that's allabout. I didn't want anybody to
see. So I would just like, youknow, wing it till i What is it
fake it till you make it kind ofthing? I'm over that. I'm just
like, I don't know, what doesthat mean? You know, just tell

(33:14):
me now, like, what you think itmeans or whatever, and then I'll
do my research. And then I'llyou know, put it together. And
I'm okay saying slow down. Ineed a little more time. I'm
fine. Say that. I wouldn't havesaid that before. I would have
just like kept on going like,okay, yeah, sure. Like, yeah.

Jennifer Wong (33:33):
So do you think it's interesting that menopause
hits us at this 50 years, youknow, you know, plus or minus
the 50 years? And I heard yousaying that, you know, I'm
getting more. You didn't use theword mindful, but more aware of
like, This doesn't feel rightfor me. Why am I doing it? And I
think, is it that? I just heardyou saying that and I was

(33:56):
thinking, isn't that interestingthat we hit this menopause where
our body literally does a 180 onus? And we have to do that we
have to go within? You know, Imean, we don't have to, but
we're getting more prompted to.
And I think as we age, we canwe've had that wisdom, right?

(34:17):
We've had that experience overthe years to say, Oh, now, you
know, I used to ignore this, I'mnot going to anymore, or it
doesn't feel right. I'm notgoing to force myself to be in
it anymore. I mean to listen tome. So it's interesting that it
all maybe menopause is actuallya really cool thing. You know,

Charity Rodriguez (34:39):
I think it's cool. I think it can be cool.
But for so many it looks likethe it looks like vulnerability.
And that's it's difficult todeal with suddenly being

(35:01):
vulnerable, and seeing otherpeople see you, you're looking
at yourself through their eyesand them seeing you as being
vulnerable. Because if you'vebeen this Go, go go, you've got
it all together, and you may nothave gotten it had it all
together, but you are apowerhouse that just bulldoze
through whatever life puttingyour way, you know, and just

(35:23):
deal with the consequences asyou go. But to now be
vulnerable. Because youremotions are, you know, all over
the place, your body is tellingyou things, and you don't know
like, Who do you go to? Right?
Do you turn to your partner, andgo, Hey, dude, or, you know,
whoever, right, they turn yourpartner and they don't know,

(35:48):
they're like, they're either notgoing through it. They don't
know how that, you know, theyweren't coming to you for some
answers coming to you for someinformation. So it's like, why
are you asking me, you know, Idon't know how to help you. And
then to see, to see them beafraid, because they don't know

(36:09):
what to do with you. They don'tknow how to help. They don't
know, you know, they're notdoctors. They don't, they're,
they'll give you

Jennifer Wong (36:18):
and also they look to I guess I can only speak
for myself. But like, when weact like we're always on top of
things and handling things.
They've never had theopportunity to be participants
they've never had, they've neverbeen asked to. And now the
person that they saw as thisrock as being vulnerable, like,
probably scares them as much asit scares us. And so I think

(36:41):
that just takes me back tothinking, I love having my
community of women, you know,because I go to them, you know,
I go to them, when I'm feelingvulnerable, I call them I have
tea with them. And I and it's asafe place, because we're both
going through it or have beenthrough it, you know, it's a

(37:02):
little easier for me to bevulnerable to somebody that I
think has experienced something.
Yes, is somebody that has notwhich I kind of hate that
because it limits, I feel likeit limits my thinking and my
ability to be authentic. Butwhen I'm doing something new, I
really need to be in a safespace. So that helps being

(37:24):
vulnerable,

Charity Rodriguez (37:25):
if they have that vulnerability, if they're
able to be vulnerable with you,and, you know, and, and show you
some weakness, right? Or justsome moment of like, Yeah, I had
this experience, then you youfeel comfortable, you feel
connected, you're like, Okay,who, like you've gone through a
hard thing. I've gone throughhard things. So we can when you

(37:47):
have a meeting point, but if youif the other person doesn't,
then yeah, you're just sittingup there thinking, Well, I know,
I'm thinking, how can you helpme like you don't know what I'm
talking about, you have no pointof reference, you haven't
revealed to me any point ofreference, that you have gone
through some kind ofchallenging, you know, whatever,

(38:09):
it may not be the same. But justa challenge is a challenge, you
know, a mountain to climb amountain to climb, right, no
matter where in the world, thatis something that you had to go
through and overcome. If you'retalking like No, I've never had
that. And I I got all my stufftogether. Like how do I know

(38:30):
which, you know, I don't knowwhat you're talking about? How
are you gonna help me if you'renot acknowledging yourself? Or,
or if you really, truly have hadthis life that has kept all of
this from you. It's like, I justneed somebody to help me on my
journey. I don't want tonecessarily, Oh, I gotta deal

(38:52):
with

Jennifer Wong (38:52):
you now. Right.
And I love that because that Ithink that's how I feel with
doctors. Like I went to see thisone OBGYN and she was a know it
all, she knew everything, but Ididn't feel she was vulnerable
with me in any way, shape, orform. So it just kind of bounced
off me was like, I don't trustyou, because you're not very
human here, you know, I might aswell be standing in front of a

(39:14):
computer screen being told whatto do. And that really, I didn't
go back to see her, she might begreat. But I need that. I need
that connection. And I thinkconnection for me comes with
just a little vulnerability, youknow, just I don't need to hear
her whole life story, but just alittle vulnerability or even a
little compassion, like, oh,man, I get why you're feeling

(39:37):
this way. You know, I can seewhy it feels so stressful. Or
you know, I don't know. And thatis where I have a hard time with
doctors, I think because theydon't show their vulnerability.
I don't think they're taught toknow I have had a few doctors
throughout my years that Ireally liked and it was because
I could relate to them. They maybe told a little personal story

(39:57):
or you They explained how maybesomeone they knew close to a
doctor was going through thesame, you know, just something.
And it's like, I gotta get themoff that pedestal or I can't
feel honest with them. I'm notvery honest with a doctor that
just knows everything. Yeah. ButI'm more honest with someone

(40:18):
that, like I have Oscarinsurance right now. And so it's
kind of this weird EPO, andit's, it sucks. But what they do
offer is 24/7, you can contact adoctor, and they'll call you and
talk about whatever ailment youhave and give you direction. So
over the last two years, I'vetalked to maybe five or six, and
the one that really made me feelcomforted was the one that said,

(40:41):
oh, you know, I have this too.
And I tried all these naturalthings. And this was kind of
what worked for me, but let's dothat. And I was like, oh, okay,
you know, she's been there, shegets it. And I felt more apt to
follow what she'd said, eventhough, you know, the drugs she
prescribed didn't help at all,but I felt more connected, you

(41:02):
know, and then I felt morewilling to talk about this issue
that I had, and I actually gothelp for it. So just really
different, you know, maybe if itisn't in that moment, that it
fixes everything, it led me tofeel more comfortable venturing
into it, and getting moreinformation later.

Charity Rodriguez (41:19):
Well, I think doctors also, I mean, I know I
was raised where, you know, thedoctors knew it all. And you
listened to the doctor andwhatever. And I fought against
that. The, they can be judgeylike, I've been reading a lot of
articles of doctors beingjudgey. And people now coming

(41:40):
forward and saying, Yeah, Istopped going to that doctor,
because, you know, I said, thisis what was going on, after I
had my baby. And, you know, andthey just were like, Oh, you're
just like, they judge me forsaying that for showing whatever
vulnerability within the so theystopped going. So it's like, oh,

(42:01):
my, what? You know, or the ladywas dealing with a weight issue.
And, you know, in that momentthat she would say something,
and the doctor just felt theneed to not be supportive at
all. And it just like that, doyou understand the relationship

(42:24):
of like, what is going on whenyou walk into a doctor's office?
I don't think I think doctors,some a lot of doctors, because
they have so much knowledge,because they have spent so many
years, you know, studying orwhatever, do have a little bit
of that god complex or I'm I'mup on a pedestal and plus

(42:45):
society

Jennifer Wong (42:45):
has has has done that you want to be a doctor, a
lawyer. A lot of those are thepeople we think are just you
know, there's a lot that goeswith that. And I was you were
saying about? Oh, so I was at ahorsemanship class yesterday.
Yeah. And a woman, one of thefellow students came up to me
and she said, the owner of thiscompany said that I should reach

(43:08):
out to you because I havechronic pain. I know that you do
holistic, holistic health work,holistic healing, and I said,
Oh, yeah, and I wasn't sure whatshe meant, because so many
things. And she said, Yeah, Ihave this terrible knee issue,
blah, blah, blah, we startedtalking and what she told me,
she said, I went to a painmanagement doctor that was
recommended to me. And he toldme that I have to lose, lose 10

(43:31):
pounds a week, or he's not evengoing to help me. He didn't even
help me. And I was like, that'sso awful. Yeah. And she goes, I
feel so judged and shamed. Andshe's like, I can't lose 10
pounds a week. She said, I just,I quit going, I need to find an
alternative method. Yeah. I waslike, I'm so sorry.

Charity Rodriguez (43:53):
See, that makes me angry. That gets me so
like, ah, but yeah, you know,how do you communicate that to
people like that should nothappen. You need to have good
bedside manner, whatever youneed to learn how to
communicate. You can't just be arobot in a computer. And you're
definitely can't be judgingpeople. Like you need people.

(44:16):
You need to meet people wherethey are in life, and move on.
That's it. Right? So Right.

Jennifer Wong (44:24):
And a wonderful community. Yes, gentle and
compassionate. And isn't itwonderful that we have this
community that she mentionedthat to her therapist, and her
therapist goes, well, I knowsomebody, you know, not that I'm
going to have all the answers,but I did tell her I have some
great acupuncturist that I'veseen that have really helped me
I go, there's two I can tell youabout them and you can choose or

(44:46):
find someone else, but I go Idon't know what our conversation
is gonna spur, you know, but youwere brought here so let's have
the conversation and see whathappens. Because I never want to
tell anybody what to do. I justoffer a bunch of suggestions and
whatever sticks go with it, youknow, it's like throwing
spaghetti on the wall half thetime because I just don't think
we know. And I keep feeling likewith all the things going on in

(45:08):
the world, everything moving sofast. Everything is like reach
this extreme level of you'reeither A or B, that we get this
opportunity to createcommunities to not rely on the
things that we put so muchweight on in the past to tell us
what is right, what's wrong forus. We can use them as guides,

(45:30):
but we got to take our powerback, you know, going back to
the menopause, I feel like in my50s, I'm taking my power back,
you know, the things that I wasable to barrel through because
maybe I thought I was goodlooking or I was fit, or I could
have sex whenever I wanted.
Those things are kind ofshifting, and I have to find a
new way. And the only way is totake my power back. I can't rely

(45:53):
on what everybody tells me isright. You know, I can't rely
just on science. I can't relyjust on metaphysics, I can't
rely just on what my friend saysI got to, you know, I use them
all as signs, you know, theirsignals, but it's really how I
feel and what feels right, andthen take that. But I just feel
like this community where we'retaking care of each other, in

(46:17):
this way where we can bevulnerable, might be more
powerful for me, you know, thenhow it used to work.

Charity Rodriguez (46:31):
And you see taking your power back. What,
like, describe that, like, makethat more.

Jennifer Wong (46:40):
So I studied with this woman, her name was Carolyn
mace. And she did this somethingenergetics. I can't even
remember what it was. I lookedat it so many years ago. But she
gave an analogy. And she said,What if every day, let's just
say you're given 100 points ofenergy. Okay, you wake up in the
morning, you have 100 points ofenergy. By the time you get into
the shower, you're leaking itbecause you're thinking, Oh my

(47:04):
God, I didn't take care of this.
Oh, my God, are my kids. Okay,here, did I schedule this
appointment? Did I pay thisbill? And every thought just
leaks your energy. And she goesin? Imagine that, that 100
points is your power. And soevery thought that you give to
something else that's out ofyour control, or isn't present
in the moment, you're losingenergy? And she goes, Yeah,

(47:25):
we're gonna lose energy everyday. But how can we take it back
from the things that we've givenoutside of ourselves? So, for
example, for me, maybe I gave alot of power away by what other
people thought about me. So thatwould mean that I spent a lot of
energy looking good. I spent alot of energy looking right, I

(47:49):
spent a lot of energy, makingsure I said the right things
being a good parent all, youknow, on and on. Okay, and so
now I go, No, this is right forme. And I really am not
concerned about what otherpeople are thinking about me.
Okay, I'm not concerned abouthow people feel about me as much
as I used to be. Right. Okay, sothat's bringing my power back.

(48:13):
Okay, okay. Yeah. Like, I comefirst, you know, like, I feel
good enough in myself to be ableto be okay with this, with this
decision, is, can you walk outwithout makeup today?

Charity Rodriguez (48:35):
Is there any guilt associated with that?

Jennifer Wong (48:38):
Only when it comes to my children, but I've
done so much work on thatbalance for so long. But in the
beginning, there was like, ifI'm taking care of myself,
someone else is getting dropped.
I'm selfish. I'm, I'm selfabsorbed. You know, all those
things came up. But the realitywas, I was no good. Anyway, you
know, I was no good. When myenergy is in 50 different

(49:04):
directions, but I seem to bedoing what I should be doing.
How really good is that? Howmuch of me is really going in
any of that? My kids are goingGod, you're always on your
phone. Or, you know, it justdoesn't feel right. But I keep
doing it anyway. Yeah. And sothat's me just giving away my
power.

Charity Rodriguez (49:26):
All right.
And so now you're taking itback? Yeah. How does it feel?

Jennifer Wong (49:31):
It's amazing. I have so much more peace in my
life. So much more peace. I havemore time to do the things I
want to do. Wow. Where'd thatcome from? I feel more clear
about my purpose, even if it'sjust in the day. You know, my
purpose? I don't know. I stillthought I think like you had
said earlier it's going to besome grandiose thing, that I

(49:54):
think that my purpose is justbeing in my body, present in
Every moment that and then thepurpose just comes out. Like why
am I podcasting? I don't know.
Because it felt right. And theycame to me and it all lined
right. It was beyond my doing. Isaid to the university, I'd love
to do that. That'd be fun forboo, boo, boo, boom, here we
are. I didn't go out and try tofigure out how to do it. I don't

(50:18):
know. So I think it beat takingmy power back feels really good.
My blood pressure's down likethere are physical
manifestations of me taking mymy power back. The Lyme disease
that I have it I haven't reallyhad a flare up in a while, I can
tell you it almost is directlyrelated to when I start draining

(50:38):
my power, I start feeling theeffects of that, for sure.

Charity Rodriguez (50:48):
Do you feel that when you go to the doctor
with with whatever, right youhave some ailments some thing
that doesn't quite feel right.
But you can't describe what thatlike you can't say. You know,
you don't have a name for it.
You just like something doesn'tfeel right. And you're trying to
talk it through with your doctoris your well, is your doctor

(51:12):
helpful? Like can you do youfeel comfortable doing that?

Jennifer Wong (51:17):
Doing what? Going through and

Charity Rodriguez (51:19):
talking through because you said you
feel like your body and you feelthat it's often you, you know,
you try to realign yourself. Butif you are trying to talk it
through with your medicalperson, does it? Do you feel
like you can have that kind ofconversation with them? Like

(51:41):
I've had a few instances nowwhere I've gone to my doctor,
and I've said this isn't normal.
I'm feeling X y&z This isn'tnormal for me. And I'm very
conscious of what I eat, drink,you know, my highs and lows. And
I'm trying to convey that to mydoctor. And they're just looking
at me like, that's a normalthing. Like everybody has that.

(52:04):
And I'm like, for me, that's notnormally it's not okay to have
headaches all the time. And Idon't want to take Tylenol every
day. So can we explore someother things of what are the why
this may be happening? Versusit's just a common thing is not

(52:25):
a big deal. Just take theTylenol and move on. But I like
that that's that's not okay.
Like, I should not be havingheadache, I should not be told,
or I should not have to justsuck it up and deal with it. And
so if you I mean, I was justwondering, like, do you feel

(52:46):
that like you go to your doctorwith phantom things that are not
Phantom, but you kind of may bemade to feel like they might be?

Jennifer Wong (52:54):
Absolutely I did for years. And that's why I
started going to naturaldoctors. Because they took the
time to like, really listen, andthey would take notes. And they
were like, Oh, well, this couldbe off, you know, let's do a
blood test and see if this iswhat it is. And my natural
doctors do very different bloodtests than Western medical
doctors. And they look atdifferent levels of different

(53:16):
things. And and then we like,Okay, well, let's work on that.
And while I'm and I will saythat in the beginning, I still
relied on my natural doctors tofix me. And then as time went
on, I was like, Wait a minute.
I'm also noticing when I'm superstressed when I'm losing my
power when I'm not aligned whenI'm not taking care of myself.
I'm here more. Like why don't Ijust do those things, save

(53:39):
myself some money, you know, sobut it's been a process, you
know, a big process because I'vebeen seeing natural doctors for
eight years, eight years now,eight years, okay, because I
just, you know, they wanted totake out my other ovary. I was
like, Ah, I got one left. Idon't like your answers. I've
been to two of you. You're notgiving me the answer I want. So

(54:00):
I went to a natural diet. That'swhen I started seeing a
naturopath and then she tooklike an hour with me. I was like
what? Yeah, I have to pay out ofpocket. It was expensive. But I
was like up. I value this. I'llpay. This is important to me.
Yeah. Yeah. So it's just what wevalue. It's got to be aligned
with what we value.

Charity Rodriguez (54:21):
No. Okay, here's a different little
because I'm about to go see anatural path actually. So I have
like a two hour session. I'msupposed to schedule it here
soon. So we'll see how thatgoes. And I mean, she seemed
pretty cool. I was okay witheverything I was seeing on the
website and I had a friend thatwent and that was why I decided

(54:44):
like okay, I'm just gonna trythis. Because my friend really
was like, oh my goodness, thismade such a difference like
after having gone to Western asshe still has a Western, you
know, doctor but they were notaddressing and helping her
whatsoever. Ever with what shehad, it was just more like take
this medicine, take thismedicine. And now she was at the

(55:05):
point of having so much medicinethat she was like, I don't want
to do that, like, this is justridiculous the amount of
medicines that I have to take,and now you're telling me I had
to take one more. So she went tothe naturopath and with the
like, therapists person, and thetwo of them combined, help find

(55:25):
and align and pulled out all ofthis stuff. So it was like,
Okay, I'm gonna try it out.
Let's see how it goes. But Ithink of that. And now I think,
all right, this is a Ford doublefor a person of privilege. Like,
can I tell you say to someone ina different socio economic

(55:49):
bracket, hey, just, you know,meditate, do some yoga, and, you
know, drink these herbs andwhatever it like, like, I don't
know, I always think like, howdo you tell that, you know, some
people get to a doctor,

Jennifer Wong (56:08):
right? And I think about that, too. And I got
this is where community helps.
Like, if we have a communitythat just isn't of one socio
economic like, Okay, I havespent the money, I hope that I
can share this information withpeople that are interested or
that need it. You know, that'swhere I think as a community,
like, I can share, you know, Ican help, I can offer some
background through experiencestrength and hope, you know,

(56:31):
maybe lead them to places thatmight, I've always looking for
that like the Samueli Center atUCI, they, you know, they
started out really integrative,and they take insurance, you
know, so they can be helpful.
I've actually had friends thatit wasn't because they didn't
have the money, it's not theirvalue. And so they didn't want

(56:52):
to go see the natural paths. Butby talking to me, they found one
through their insurance throughthe UCI Samueli Senator, you
know, so that's what I mean,like community, you know, you
just share what you have. Andmaybe that's the way that other
people are able to benefit fromthese types of, I don't know,

(57:12):
surfaces, you know,

Charity Rodriguez (57:15):
I think our next talk, one of our next talks
needs to be about community,because that word keeps coming
up a lot. And I do believe incommunity. But then, okay, how
do we create more communitybetter community, I mean, I know
people, people, whenever I saythat to people, they're like,

(57:35):
oh, just, you can do it throughFacebook, or, you know,
Instagram or whatever. And I'm,I'm not a social media person, I
don't have Facebook. So I couldcare less about that. But I also
am not a, like, I'm talking toyou, you know, through zoom. But
I'm a, let's meet in person,like, let's go to the park, or

(57:56):
let's go for a walk on the hike,you know, on the trail. And I do
feed off the vibe of otherpeople, like I need to meet you
in person, I need to talk toyou, I need to see you touch you
to connect. And I don't want tothere's a disconnect a little
bit of a disconnect on Facebook.
Absolutely. And it's like, Idon't want that kind of I mean,

(58:19):
it helps other people and I getit, and it helps a newer
generation that's grown up onthat. And that's what community
means to them. And that's fine.
But I want to, like, let's breakbread together. Like, I'll bring
the bread and you bring theBushido, you bring the cheese.
So let's get together. Let'stalk and let's, you know, so

Jennifer Wong (58:41):
what about, you know, meetup groups and going
into groups that are topics thatare very valuable to you? You
know,

Charity Rodriguez (58:51):
yeah, to look more into the whole meetup
thing. I know, I know, it keepscoming up. meet ups. I'm writing
it down right now. Yes, I know.
I have to,

Jennifer Wong (59:00):
like it took five years, I would actually, you
know, because I always do. Ialways, not always, but I write
down things during new moons andfull moons of my intentions, you
know, and a lot of it was I wantto community I want to be part
of a community and I swearwithin a few months, I was
brought into a community andthat is still the community I

(59:23):
have now. So I think it's justbeing intentional. Putting our
energy where we want it put incase

Charity Rodriguez (59:29):
that's manifesting this manifestation
that's that's what I've learnedthat word is popped up a lot
recently. I'm like, Okay, Igotta manifest I gotta visualize
if I really want it, I got tolike, write it down.

Jennifer Wong (59:42):
And then like you said, execute, you know show up
when you get an invite. Gotta goshow up. You may not even feel
right, right? It I mean, thefirst time I started doing these
things, ah, so painful. I waslike, I don't even know if I
want to be here. I feel souncomfortable. They're all
they've all been doing this solong. Long, I don't know what
they're talking about, I'm gonnalook stupid, I had to be

(01:00:03):
vulnerable, I had to show up andjust say, it just feels right.
I'm here to see, to see whathappens was tough. And some of
them, like I said, didn't stick.
And some of them did. But wellreally is vulnerability
community is synonymous withvulnerability. It

Charity Rodriguez (01:00:21):
is. And we have to, we should have to do
anything. But we should, Ireally would like to see a
community of women that can cometogether and talk about
menopause and be vulnerable,like have a space. And even if

(01:00:44):
they don't have a space, likewith us or whatever, but that
they feel comfortable going andtalking with their own group,
their own niche, whoever thatis, and being honest, being
honest about where they are inlife and what is happening to
them. Because you know, whetherit's the atrophy, whether it's

(01:01:06):
the emotional highs and lows,whether it's the, you know, the
hot flashes that are just like,you know, that I hear people
talking about, and I want totell you this, like I keep
getting hot lately, but it'sreally hot right now. It's like,
I don't know, something's goingon with the weather. But I will

(01:01:27):
run to my house and be like, Oh,my God, I think I'm having a hot
flash. I think this is and thento say, no, do anything. It just
how hot like yeah, I just I justfeel me looking at me like, Oh,
okay. I think it might be No,no, it's not. No. I'm feeling

(01:01:50):
fine. Now. I had some hot tea.
And I closed the AC in myoffice. So now I'm just going to
open the AC like, I'm good. Butit's just one of those like, I
don't know, like, I have noclue. And I do read things. And
then I take on, you know what I?

(01:02:13):
Like? I think that's I thinkthat's what I think that's what
I have. Yeah, I think it'simportant to just go and talk
and have be able to have thatself reflection be able to be
vulnerable with yourself beforeyou can go be with someone in a

(01:02:34):
group. Or if you're ready for agroup to just take you into
their arms. Then just be readyto you know, let go of it. Yeah,
get ready for that chair tobreak and just float. Yeah. And
he's a trust. Yep. So there yougo.

Jennifer Wong (01:02:58):
All right. Well, I think that kind of wraps it
up, you know, we, the menopause,like really just being able to
be honest with ourselves so thatwe can be honest with our
doctors or our community or evenwhen we're looking online. Just
be honest with ourselves of whatwe're what we're needing. Yeah,
we want to go.

Charity Rodriguez (01:03:20):
Yes. And it's not a fix at all. It's, you're
gonna have to go through it.
Like, be ready to go through it.
Like you're gonna have to, likethat's just what happens to all
of us. Just get ready.

Jennifer Wong (01:03:33):
Yep. It's progress, not perfection.

Charity Rodriguez (01:03:37):
Like that.
All right, cool.

Jennifer Wong (01:03:41):
All right. Yay.

Charity Rodriguez (01:03:43):
Thank you for listening to Being F'ing Honest
with your hosts, Jennifer Wongand charity Rodriguez. Subscribe
to our show wherever you listento podcast, and if you have a
suggestion, question or topicyou want us to talk about,
connect with us at www beingeffing honest.com And until next
time, we hope you're alwaysbeing effing honest