The Learning Curve of Coming Out as Gay Later in Life

Today, on the Being Whole podcast, I welcome my ex-husband, Cale Underberg.  Cale is a Civil Engineer and father of two living in San Antonio, TX.  A South Dakota native and graduate of South Dakota State University, Cale has lived in the San Antonio area since 2008.  Prior to living in Texas, Cale lived in Lincoln, NE for four years.  While in Nebraska, Cale started working for the consulting engineering firm he has been with for the past 18 years.  Licensed as a Professional Engineer in three states, Cale has presented his work at regional and national conferences and served as South Texas Chapter President for the national Water Environment Federation (WEF) organization.  Cale enjoys the arts, traveling, outdoor adventure and spending time working out.  Outdoor adventure has included hiking all across the US, climbing a 14,000+ peak in Colorado, completing multiple full and half marathons, kayaking, paddle boarding and biking.  Cale aspires to randomly finding a large pallet of one hundred dollar bills, retiring from working and traveling the world to experience people, cultures and the planet.

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TAKEAWAYS
Here are a few of my takeaways form this conversation!
 1- Growing up and, even subconsciously knowing you are gay, not having anyone in your life who is gay to set an example can feel confusing. It sometimes takes being in the right time and right place where you feel fully confident to step into your true self.
2- There may be a learning curve in adjusting to life once you come out, but there is a huge community navigating it all that you can reach out to for support.
3- People from your past may have a lot of trouble coming to terms with your lifestyle, which is why having healthy outlets and a support system is crucial to be in a good place mentally and emotionally.
4-Like Cale is firm on his Monday boundaries; it’s important for your mental health not to overextend yourself and to draw a line in the sand in order to make sure you have time for yourself regularly (and predictably, if possible).