November 28, 2024 • 26 mins
Rachael Evans' inspiring journey to belonging unfolds in our latest episode, as she goes from a girl enchanted by dance in a Christian studio to a pivotal figure at Congregation Rodeph Sholom. Her move to New York, fueled by an unwavering belief that she belonged there, was fraught with challenges. Yet, an unexpected audition at a synagogue opened doors to lifelong friendships and a role as Chief of Staff and Operations, proving that perseverance and community can lead to unimaginable opportunities. Rachael's story is a stirring reminder of how life's twists and turns can guide us home, both professionally and personally.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (00:05):
The human story is the search for
belonging.
From childhood to adulthood, injoy and in struggle, we all sit
in questions of how to makesense of it all.
What is our place?
Why are we here?
What is our story of searching?
Join us in conversation withcommunity members each sharing
some of their own story.
(00:26):
I am Ben Spratt and this isBelonging, so it is truly an
honor and a gift to get to besitting right now with not only
a beloved colleague but anamazing friend.
Rachael Evans currently servesas our chief of staff and
(00:46):
operations.
What not everyone realizes isthat Rachael and I first
connected more than 19 years agoas she was a part of our CRS
theater company, and from thatlaunch onto stage she has now
come to be what we often thinkof around here as our resident
angel.
There is nothing in thisorganization that happens
(01:07):
without Rachael's care andattention and leadership.
Over the course of these years,we have grown up together in so
many ways, Rachael.
I mean.
We have, you know, becomeparents alongside each other
here, proud parent of Franklin,along with Wilton, who is our
director of facilities ofCongregation Rodeph Sholom and
(01:27):
Rodeph Sholom School in so manyways that I'm sure you could
never have imagined.
When you walk into these doors,this place has really been a
place that has helped shape yourfamily, not only personally,
but also professionally, and astwo people that went and started
as babies.
Here and now we feel like thisis home.
I can't imagine a greater giftfor our community to get to be
(01:48):
hearing from you and yourreflections and just so grateful
to have your wisdom and yourthoughts, Rachael.
Rachael Evans (01:53):
Thank you, Ben.
That's nice to be here and yes,it's been a journey.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (01:57):
It really has.
I mean, I think about, like,what were we thinking about when
we were like 19 years ago?
So, as we do with every one ofthese conversations on belonging
, I wanted to hear from youabout your search for belonging.
Rachael Evans (02:15):
So I thought about this and I think you feel
like you belong somewhere whenyou are your most comfortable,
the guard is down, you're honest, you feel safe and for me, the
first time I feel like I reallybelong somewhere was at the
dance studio.
My mom put me into a tap balletcombo when I was five and a few
(02:38):
years later, when I was eight,we found a time to dance a
Christian dance studio, a timeto dance from the book of
Ecclesiastics and I just fell inlove.
I started with TAP.
I started teaching by the ageof 15.
I was one of the coaches forour Special Olympics gymnastics
team, which was amazing.
I worked with Dancing Wheelsand I just found my happy place
(03:02):
both in the building and withthe students and the teachers.
Those people are my bestfriends still to this day.
It was my escape fromeverything, from you know,
school and family stuff, and Ihad to get good grades and do my
homework or dance was takenaway from me.
So that's like I was a goodstudent, literally because of
dance.
(03:22):
So they say it teaches youdiscipline.
It does in the studio, butoutside of the studio.
And then in high school I foundmusical theater, which became a
true passion.
And I went to college in theUniversity of Akron for musical
theater and I picked thatbecause it offered the most tap
lessons Like I got to take allfour years of tap.
So I was like, yeah, I'm goingto be a musical theater major
(03:43):
lessons.
Like I got to take all fouryears of TAP.
So I was like, yeah, I'm goingto be a musical theater major.
Then, you know, dot dot dot, Imoved to New York, which was
such a jump, but I knew I wassupposed to be here.
I just knew I had to be here.
And it was hard to get here andI did it.
And I taught at a competitiondance studio for two years and I
knew I couldn't just tell thiswhole family of this studio that
(04:05):
like, loved me, miss Rachael,that like, hey guys, thanks for
everything, but I'm moving toNew York.
And I decided I was going toget my master's and I applied to
NYU at Steinhardt School ofEducation and I truly stood at
the mailbox and said to ourfather and Hail Mary, god, if
this is where I'm supposed to go, can you please just make this
happen?
In the Hail Mary God.
If this is where I'm supposedto go, can you please just make
(04:25):
this happen, because I don'tknow how else I'll ever get
there?
And I made it in and I was likewhat, okay, okay, I'm going to
New York, told them all.
They were all, like you know,sad and happy at the same time
and I moved here.
And then I got here and I waslike what are you thinking?
You can't go to school fulltime, like I dropped out of the
classes and I never went andworked a bunch of jobs.
(04:46):
And then, like you know, eightmonths later, while taking tap
classes and working like fourjobs, there was a flyer on a
dance studio for an audition forAnything Goes at Congregation ,
choreographed by Derek Grantfrom Bringing the Noise,
bringing the Funk.
And I did my tap audition inthe president's office, which is
(05:06):
now the community room.
I sang my song, which was, Ihate singing in front of people
in the Han Chapel, which has notchanged a smidge, and it was in
front of Rabbi Leora Kaye andthe director, James Valetti, who
I did not know at all and isnow the godfather of Franklin,
and got in the show.
And yeah, that was 19 years agoand every person that I am
(05:30):
connected to either is from theshow or from the office which I
call.
You know, with the clergy andeverybody and, like you know,
leora Kaye was like hey, I seeyou hustling over here.
Leora said I know you're notJewish, but would you like to
work at the synagogue?
And I was like, yeah, I couldprobably do that.
And you know that was like itwas meant to be.
(05:53):
It was meant to be here, Ibelong here.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (05:58):
We certainly feel the same.
It must have taken to send inthat application and then to
actually step into that worldand realize that you need to
earn an income, that youcouldn't simply be in classes
all day long.
I can't even imagine.
You know the reality of whatthat must have been and how hard
that must have been.
So as you look back, I meanthere's so many elements of this
(06:22):
that are remarkable.
I mean, first and foremost, youknow what it is to have a
mother who wanted to foster yourability to express yourself in
some way, and then yourwillingness to step into
different environments and feelboth what's the need and what
you can bring forward, and thatmagic alchemy that we can't
always architect.
But if you can, if you can like, go back in time to your
(06:43):
childhood self.
What was it that got unlockedin you in that first dance class
, you know?
Do you remember?
Like?
What was the thing that felt,like it clicked, even as you
were just a beginner figuringout how to move?
Rachael Evans (06:55):
It's challenging, which I think people like.
People like when they have tolearn how to do something.
That's why we do, that's whypeople are like I want to learn
to knit and cook and, you know,find how to do new things.
And then the music.
The music is a big part of it.
I hear music and my feet aretapping.
If my feet aren't physicallymoving, I'm usually tapping in
my head like the rhythm of it.
And then the third piece andstill to this day, even when we
(07:27):
were doing three blocks for mespecifically, tap dancing.
You cannot think about anythingelse.
You cannot like worry aboutwhat's happening in life or at
home, or with bills or work oranything else Like.
You have to be so focusedbecause if you miss one beat,
like you're on the wrong footand you're flailing and you're
like ah.
So when I began teaching, I waslearning how to choreograph and
I found out that I was decentat it and I really enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the creation ofsomething and then teaching
something and then watchingother people do what you made is
(07:49):
so amazing.
So I loved teaching at the dancestudio, but when I was a
freshman in college, the highschool choreographer was
stepping down and they weredoing a remaking of Romeo and
Juliet and there was going to beswing dancing.
And I marched into the schoolup to the theater teacher
(08:10):
because I had left the yearbefore, and I said, please let
me choreograph this show.
And he was like, have youchoreographed a musical?
I said yes, of course I haven't.
He said do you know how toswing dance?
I said yes, of course I didn't.
And he was like, ok, and hegave me that shot.
That was choreography shot of ashow.
I like watched videos and liketaught myself how to do lifts
(08:32):
and taught them how to do liftsTotally dangerous, but we did it
and it was so fun.
And then I was like, oh my gosh, this is it.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (08:39):
And I think that's what sometimes stops a
lot of people in their search iswe get so weary of our wanting
and our wishing that we give upand we simply just resign
ourselves and our wishing thatwe give up and we simply just
resign ourselves.
But sometimes, almostinvariably, there is that like
wink, you know, the wink of God,the wink of a universe that is
saying you know, Rachael, weneed the person who not only can
(09:04):
tap but can bring out the magicon other people.
You know, I think for manypeople our faith is regularly
tested and the way that wemeasure it is the degree to
which we can feel almostintention or agency behind the
good and the bad that happens inour lives.
How has that changed as youhave become an adult and become
a parent yourself and started tosee your connection to another
(09:27):
being that you can't directlycontrol, and how does that
change your sense of faith?
Rachael Evans (09:32):
My mom and dad are both very like go with the
flow.
People like God will take youwhere you're supposed to be.
And even when I started workinghere, I was still going to mass
on Sundays quite regularly.
And then in these walls andwith you all, with the clergy
here, and just in theconversations that I find myself
in, I find I don't want to sayreligion, but I find like hope
(09:55):
and belief and faith and thingsthat sometimes make me question
the way I was raised.
Franklin was baptized mainlybecause of my mom.
I knew like that was somethingI wanted to do and had to do for
her.
And we go to church sometimesand you know I don't sit down
(10:16):
and like open a children's Bibleand tell him the stories.
We have like casualconversations about it.
He's seeing my actions with mymom, who is not well.
She's suffering with dementiathat's taking her mind and her
body and when we go there Idon't try to hide it from him.
He sees me with her, feedingher and brushing her hair and
(10:37):
putting lotion on her hands, andhe sees me like we leave her
and I get in the car and I burstinto tears and he says it's
okay, mommy, it's okay.
And I, you know, I say I knowit's okay, she's okay and we
love her, we're taking care ofher.
And I sometimes question, like,should he not be seeing this
stuff?
This is hard to watch, butthat's life, you know, like I
(10:58):
think it's important.
And he said to me yesterday hesaid first day of second grade,
you know, it's basically middleschool.
I said, well, it's kind of not,it's second grade.
He was like no, third, fourth,fourth, fifth, and it's middle
school, and then it's highschool and then it's college and
then I'm gonna move out andlive on my own.
And I said you're not gonnalive with me your whole life.
And he said, well, after you goup, I'll find my one true love
(11:21):
and get married.
So he was talking about heavenand because we talk about heaven
a lot, because of Nana and justtrying to like be in
preparation of what it's like,and you know, I remember having
the same conversations with myparents, of like, but what do
you think it looks like?
And are we this age or are weyoung?
And that's one of the things Ihave like poked you and Shana
(11:43):
and Julie about, of like, talkto me how you don't believe in
heaven, like I can't cause.
It's really the thing of likethat I I mean, I think I could
probably leave Christmas, butheaven I don't know, that's what
like gives me hope that, likeyou know, my father had issues
with alcoholism and all of that,and my mom always says, like he
(12:04):
definitely spent a good time inpurgatory, but I'm pretty sure
he's made it to heaven now and Ihave to believe that.
And I have to believe likethere will be a day when, like
there will be a day when, like,I will see him again, and you
know.
I tell Franklin like I picturethat it's just like this, but
there's no, you know badness, notraffic jams and no arguing.
And so I'm in the middle oftrying to figure out like kids
(12:29):
ask you questions, like when youleast expect it.
I haven't had to like where dobabies come from?
Yet, but I know it's any second.
But you're just not planning tohave like some monumental
conversation.
As you're walking down thestreet You're like oh OK, pull
it together, even though you'retired.
This is what we're going totalk about now.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (12:57):
And it's so interesting because I really do
think, both as a parent and justgetting to interact with lots
of kids and the nature of ourcommunity is our kids are tapped
into the most importantquestions that we often avoid.
You know, how do we make senseof a world where good people and
people we love end up being indecline in ways that are painful
and excruciating and may, youknow, have shorter lives than
they deserve?
And how do we make sense ofthat?
How does the world seem fair?
And they and our kids, likeFranklin, tap into that?
And what a gift for Franklin toget to see your feelings, you
(13:21):
know, and you're giving him thetools of saying, like, when you
see someone you love, struggle,you're allowed to feel, you're
allowed to be in pain and thento be able to imagine.
How do we make sense of that?
How do we feel the connectionto your father?
You know, there's so manydifferent Jewish understandings
of the afterlife, but one of therabbinic imaginations that I
most love, you know, is avariation of the story of, you
(13:44):
know, a man living in theheights of his life, you know,
wants to know what happens afterhe dies and he prays to God and
says please, I want to see.
And so God brings him up toheaven and he walks in and sees
this huge banquet hall andthere's music playing and
there's food and everyone'ssinging and talking and happy.
(14:07):
And God says this is heaven.
And then says let me show youwhat hell looks like.
And in Judaism we often callhell Gehenna, which is more of
like a purgatory than a heavenor hell.
But it goes down and walks intoan identical room and there's
music playing and there's food,and the only difference is that
people look solemn.
(14:27):
And the man says to God I don'tunderstand.
So heaven and hell look exactlythe same.
Why are some people happy andwhy are some people, you know,
really miserable in hell?
And God says well, in helleveryone's arms are locked at
the elbow and people spendeternity lifting up spoons
filled with the most deliciousfood and try to put it in their
(14:48):
own mouth and end up beingdespondent and hungry and
frustrated by their inability todo it.
And the man says, oh, so inheaven they just their elbows
aren't locked, and said no, it'sexactly the same in heaven,
it's just that in heaven peoplehave learned they can feed their
neighbor.
And I love that image becauseit's a way of saying that
perhaps the biggest differenceis how we approach what comes
(15:10):
next.
And I love the image of itbecause it suggests that, just
as in life, we can make choicestowards the good or for the bad,
or towards selfishness ortowards generosity.
To imagine that doesn't end atdeath.
And so I am a person who verymuch believes in an afterlife
and very much believes insomething coming next, and I
think the people who most pushedme to kind of grapple with that
(15:31):
actually were my kids, becauseotherwise life is terrifying.
Otherwise, when we say goodbye,it's a goodbye that suggests
that there's nothing of meaningthat ripples forward.
And in the way that you know inyour father, in grief over your
father, that you were willingto take the courageous leap into
New York, I'm sure you feel hispresence in myriad ways and
(15:54):
found ways to teach that toFranklin.
So, just because I'm sure loadsof people are dying to ask what
does it feel like to be one ofthe leaders of a Jewish
organization?
As a person who grew upCatholic and continues to bring
Catholicism into her life, whatdoes it feel like to be actually
leading an organization ofanother faith?
Rachael Evans (16:17):
I have never been asked that or thought of that
before.
When I first started I wassitting at the Wednesday clergy
meetings.
I was taking handwritten notesand I could every eighth word.
I was like what, what, what,and various people was next to
me Rabbi Seri, rabbi Leora,rabbi Greshko, and they would
(16:40):
kind of whisper and, like youknow, decipher what was being
said or translate the Hebrew,and it was learning a whole new
language and I thought that thatwas fascinating, that I was
able to, like, sit here and do ajob which I always tell people
is essentially stage managingthe place, like I'm the stage
manager, I run the calendar andthe supplies and the stuff and
(17:01):
the people, but at the same timelearning like a whole new
language.
I thought that that was reallycool, that it was kind of being
educated at the same time.
And Hanukkah and Purim and thesethings have become gigantic
productions, you know, and wejust have the greatest staff
that everyone loves to justhustle Like go grab the water
(17:22):
bottles, Find the radio, go getthis.
Why is this leaking?
Like anyone will do anything,because they just want to see it
done right and fast and best,and I like to do it calmly.
My dad.
He always said the three thingsthat will kill you are hurry,
worry and fear.
And I think that's ingrained inme since I was like tiny, that
(17:42):
like there's no reason to belike stressed out and kerfuffled
about anything.
And I can imagine in otherplaces I would feel
uncomfortable.
I've never felt uncomfortablehere for a second and I think
part of that is because foryears I watched us trust Jose
Suero in setting up Shabbatevery day.
(18:04):
I mean he rolled in with hiscart, he would correct anybody
on the number of candles thatshould be out and knew where the
Torahs were supposed to be.
And this is just a place.
That's like.
You don't have to be anythingto be here, you just be you and
that's fine.
And we are all doing the samething.
We all just want goodness andto help people and to be better
(18:27):
and to make what can be a reallydirty, scary, loud city have
this little piece of sanctuarythat we all can come to.
You know every day.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (18:38):
I couldn't articulate better exactly what I
hope and pray this place alwayscan aspire to be.
You know that we now have inour community room.
I quote from the Bible, fromIsaiah.
You know, my house shall be ahouse of prayer for all people,
and I think about how proud I amto walk into a building where
it doesn't matter which side ofmy family walk in, it doesn't
matter anyone's background.
I hope that this is always aplace where people feel like
(19:01):
whoever you are searcher,wanderer, person who already has
found belonging.
I hope that this can be a placewhere people feel like they can
be embraced and that, even aswe're doing Jewish, that it's
something that's open toeveryone.
You know and you have one of the, I'd say, most robust Hebrew
vocabularies of almost anyone onour team, and I think, like who
could have thought like 19years ago, could you imagine
(19:22):
that you'd be the one correctingpeople on like, like
pronunciation and knowing mostof the blessings and the prayers
?
And so I'm curious, as Franklinis growing up and you're
getting to see parts of yourselfin him, parts of Wilton in him
and parts of him that's justFranklin.
What do you share with him inorder to have him believe in his
(19:43):
own worth, his own belonging,like.
What's the?
What are some of the ways thatyou try to bring or inspire
Franklin to feel his own placeof belonging in this world, or
to at least be a searcher for it?
Rachael Evans (19:56):
My older brother and sister are 15 years older
than me and they both have fourkids.
They're twins.
Sean and Stan are twins.
They both have four kids in thesame order of boy, girl, boy,
boy.
And now their kids have kids.
And I have six great.
They both have four kids in thesame order of boy, girl, boy,
boy and now their kids have kids.
And I have six great nieces andnephews.
And to watch them all in Ohiojust grow up together and do all
(20:19):
of the things you know.
He goes back there and there'slike trampolines in the backyard
and all the dogs Everyone's gotdogs.
I'm so happy he gets to seethat and be there with them and
run around barefoot in the creekand all of those things.
And he's always asking when arewe going to go again?
When are we going to go again?
And I hope that he gets astrong bond with all of those
(20:41):
cousins and his older cousins,that they can always have each
other to lean on, because that'sas important to me, that he has
a relationship with everybodyand that Ohio is a piece in his
heart.
And last night, on the eveningof the first day of second grade
, it was a beautiful night and Isaid let's go outside for a
(21:01):
walk.
And he said can I take my bike?
And I said yeah, Do you want totake the training wheels off?
And he said yes, yes, let's doit.
And he is the perfect combo,because there's a side of him
that's like I coasted with myfeet out for 15 seconds.
I'm amazing.
And then he puts his feet downand he's so frustrated and
there's like this Dominican likeside to him, then this hopeful
(21:24):
side to him, and he flashes backand forth between the two of
them and he got off the bikethree times and he's like forget
it, I'm never going to ride abike, I don't need to ride a
bike, I like a scooter betteranyhow.
And I said okay, fine, that'sfine, let's just, let's just go
home then.
And then I said do you want tojust coast down the hill one
more time to end on a high notefor the evening?
And he said sure, and he got onthe bike and I was holding the
(21:46):
back part and Wilton wasstanding there and he was
coasting.
And then he put his feet up onthe pedals and he said let go,
mommy.
And I said no.
And he said let go and I let goand he just started pedaling
and then from there he pedaledand pedaled and pedaled and
pedaled up and down, over andover and over, and just did it
and like I don't know whatsnapped in him from like I can't
do it, I can't do it, I can'tdo it.
To like yes, I can.
(22:06):
But that's what I hope he hasall the time, that he doesn't
question himself, he doesn't letother people question him.
The part of me that walked inand said like I can choreograph
a swing dance for Romeo andJuliet.
The part of me that was sittinghere when, on the third floor,
I was right next to the restroomand the folding machine, and
then Matthew Cosby said I'mgoing to go be a nurse, and I
(22:28):
went to Joe Elbaum, theexecutive director, and I said I
think I can do the operationsmanager job, having only been
here for like four months.
That part, I want him to havethat like yes, I can do it.
Even if you've never done it,even if you maybe can't do it,
you can definitely figure outhow to do it.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (22:46):
I feel like that captures it all.
I feel like you know both thestruggles of a parent of like.
How do we encourage ourchildren but not push them too
far?
How do we encourage them toride away from us but also know
when to let go?
I mean all of those elementsand I wonder if you know, as you
look back on your journey andyou think about the moments of
(23:07):
pain, the moments where you wereterrified, the moments when you
had the courage to take a leapand not know what was going to
happen For all of us.
We enter this world with afamily of origin and in some way
, shape or form, most of us endup choosing and shaping a new
understanding of family later inlife, and sometimes it's
(23:29):
because of the people we fall inlove with or the children who
are part of the friends thatbecome chosen family.
But along the way, we come tosee that family means many
different things, and it is botha point and a nod to our origin
story and also one of the waysthat we come to define the
circle that's immediately aroundus.
And also one of the ways thatwe come to define the circle
that's immediately around us.
Well, if I can ask just onemore question what's the musical
(23:52):
that most moves you?
Rachael Evans (23:57):
My favorite musical of all time is 42nd
Street.
I was in 42nd Street when I wasin high school and Peggy Sawyer
is from Allentown, Pennsylvania, which is essentially Canton,
Ohio, right Small town girl.
She you know Dorothy Brock isthe person who is like the
longtime Broadway star, isalways the lead, kind of tired.
(24:17):
Peggy is the hungry, vibrant,go-get-em, energetic.
Everyone loves her and gets toshow off her stuff at the tea
shop, if you recall, and I'msort of like, oh my gosh, this
girl can really tap.
Everyone loves her and gets toshow off her stuff at the tea
shop, if you recall, and I'msort of like, oh my gosh, this
girl can really tap.
And I think I just relate tothat because I don't think
people, I mean especially here,if you see me like standing at
(24:37):
the doors of the sanctuary, Idon't think you're being like,
oh, I bet she can tap dance.
And then she gets to step inand be the lead in the musical
and like it's the most amazingend, like the highest, yay, she
made it.
She's where she's supposed tobe.
All her dreams came true.
What can?
What's better than that?
So yeah, 42nd street, it's likethe epitome of the musical which
(24:57):
I was able to do here, whichwas insane.
Um, that was a gigantic leapand I was gunning for it and
everyone, everyone was like howare you going to do 42nd Street
at ?
And I was like I promise you Ican make anybody tap dance.
I promise you, just put the tapshoes on them, I can make
anyone do it.
I think the common goal that Ialways see is when you walk out
(25:21):
of the theater or the church orthe synagogue, is that people
kind of have like rebootedthemselves a little bit, and
that's the goal, that's what Ilove.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (25:31):
Beautiful Rachael.
I want to offer a realgratitude.
This has been a gift of aconversation and I feel so
blessed to get to be with you,with Wilton, with Franklin, as
part of this Royal Deschampsfamily.
We are blessed to have yourleadership and very grateful
that, in all the twists andturns of life, you're willing to
walk in these doors and realizethat this place was calling to
(25:53):
you and, in turn, how much youpour of your own lifeblood into
making this a place of belongingfor so many others.
It is a gift for all of us andlooking forward to many, many,
many more years together here.
Rachael Evans (26:06):
Yes, thank you, Ben, and you know I adore you.
I'll follow you anywhere.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (26:10):
Same.
I'll follow you anywhere.
So, thank you for joining usand listening to this story of
belonging.
Stay connected with us onFacebook and Instagram.
You can find me on Twitter at@Ben H Spratt.
For more information about CRS,visit us online at rodephsholom
.
org.
The human story is the search for
belonging.
From childhood to adulthood, injoy and in struggle, we all sit
in questions of how to makesense of it all.
What is our place?
Why are we here?
What is our story of searching?
Join us in conversation withcommunity members each sharing
some of their own story.
(00:26):
I am Ben Spratt and this isBelonging, so it is truly an
honor and a gift to get to besitting right now with not only
a beloved colleague but anamazing friend.
Rachael Evans currently servesas our chief of staff and
(00:46):
operations.
What not everyone realizes isthat Rachael and I first
connected more than 19 years agoas she was a part of our CRS
theater company, and from thatlaunch onto stage she has now
come to be what we often thinkof around here as our resident
angel.
There is nothing in thisorganization that happens
(01:07):
without Rachael's care andattention and leadership.
Over the course of these years,we have grown up together in so
many ways, Rachael.
I mean.
We have, you know, becomeparents alongside each other
here, proud parent of Franklin,along with Wilton, who is our
director of facilities ofCongregation Rodeph Sholom and
(01:27):
Rodeph Sholom School in so manyways that I'm sure you could
never have imagined.
When you walk into these doors,this place has really been a
place that has helped shape yourfamily, not only personally,
but also professionally, and astwo people that went and started
as babies.
Here and now we feel like thisis home.
I can't imagine a greater giftfor our community to get to be
(01:48):
hearing from you and yourreflections and just so grateful
to have your wisdom and yourthoughts, Rachael.
Rachael Evans (01:53):
Thank you, Ben.
That's nice to be here and yes,it's been a journey.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (01:57):
It really has.
I mean, I think about, like,what were we thinking about when
we were like 19 years ago?
So, as we do with every one ofthese conversations on belonging
, I wanted to hear from youabout your search for belonging.
Rachael Evans (02:15):
So I thought about this and I think you feel
like you belong somewhere whenyou are your most comfortable,
the guard is down, you're honest, you feel safe and for me, the
first time I feel like I reallybelong somewhere was at the
dance studio.
My mom put me into a tap balletcombo when I was five and a few
(02:38):
years later, when I was eight,we found a time to dance a
Christian dance studio, a timeto dance from the book of
Ecclesiastics and I just fell inlove.
I started with TAP.
I started teaching by the ageof 15.
I was one of the coaches forour Special Olympics gymnastics
team, which was amazing.
I worked with Dancing Wheelsand I just found my happy place
(03:02):
both in the building and withthe students and the teachers.
Those people are my bestfriends still to this day.
It was my escape fromeverything, from you know,
school and family stuff, and Ihad to get good grades and do my
homework or dance was takenaway from me.
So that's like I was a goodstudent, literally because of
dance.
(03:22):
So they say it teaches youdiscipline.
It does in the studio, butoutside of the studio.
And then in high school I foundmusical theater, which became a
true passion.
And I went to college in theUniversity of Akron for musical
theater and I picked thatbecause it offered the most tap
lessons Like I got to take allfour years of tap.
So I was like, yeah, I'm goingto be a musical theater major
(03:43):
lessons.
Like I got to take all fouryears of TAP.
So I was like, yeah, I'm goingto be a musical theater major.
Then, you know, dot dot dot, Imoved to New York, which was
such a jump, but I knew I wassupposed to be here.
I just knew I had to be here.
And it was hard to get here andI did it.
And I taught at a competitiondance studio for two years and I
knew I couldn't just tell thiswhole family of this studio that
(04:05):
like, loved me, miss Rachael,that like, hey guys, thanks for
everything, but I'm moving toNew York.
And I decided I was going toget my master's and I applied to
NYU at Steinhardt School ofEducation and I truly stood at
the mailbox and said to ourfather and Hail Mary, god, if
this is where I'm supposed to go, can you please just make this
happen?
In the Hail Mary God.
If this is where I'm supposedto go, can you please just make
(04:25):
this happen, because I don'tknow how else I'll ever get
there?
And I made it in and I was likewhat, okay, okay, I'm going to
New York, told them all.
They were all, like you know,sad and happy at the same time
and I moved here.
And then I got here and I waslike what are you thinking?
You can't go to school fulltime, like I dropped out of the
classes and I never went andworked a bunch of jobs.
(04:46):
And then, like you know, eightmonths later, while taking tap
classes and working like fourjobs, there was a flyer on a
dance studio for an audition forAnything Goes at Congregation ,
choreographed by Derek Grantfrom Bringing the Noise,
bringing the Funk.
And I did my tap audition inthe president's office, which is
(05:06):
now the community room.
I sang my song, which was, Ihate singing in front of people
in the Han Chapel, which has notchanged a smidge, and it was in
front of Rabbi Leora Kaye andthe director, James Valetti, who
I did not know at all and isnow the godfather of Franklin,
and got in the show.
And yeah, that was 19 years agoand every person that I am
(05:30):
connected to either is from theshow or from the office which I
call.
You know, with the clergy andeverybody and, like you know,
leora Kaye was like hey, I seeyou hustling over here.
Leora said I know you're notJewish, but would you like to
work at the synagogue?
And I was like, yeah, I couldprobably do that.
And you know that was like itwas meant to be.
(05:53):
It was meant to be here, Ibelong here.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (05:58):
We certainly feel the same.
It must have taken to send inthat application and then to
actually step into that worldand realize that you need to
earn an income, that youcouldn't simply be in classes
all day long.
I can't even imagine.
You know the reality of whatthat must have been and how hard
that must have been.
So as you look back, I meanthere's so many elements of this
(06:22):
that are remarkable.
I mean, first and foremost, youknow what it is to have a
mother who wanted to foster yourability to express yourself in
some way, and then yourwillingness to step into
different environments and feelboth what's the need and what
you can bring forward, and thatmagic alchemy that we can't
always architect.
But if you can, if you can like, go back in time to your
(06:43):
childhood self.
What was it that got unlockedin you in that first dance class
, you know?
Do you remember?
Like?
What was the thing that felt,like it clicked, even as you
were just a beginner figuringout how to move?
Rachael Evans (06:55):
It's challenging, which I think people like.
People like when they have tolearn how to do something.
That's why we do, that's whypeople are like I want to learn
to knit and cook and, you know,find how to do new things.
And then the music.
The music is a big part of it.
I hear music and my feet aretapping.
If my feet aren't physicallymoving, I'm usually tapping in
my head like the rhythm of it.
And then the third piece andstill to this day, even when we
(07:27):
were doing three blocks for mespecifically, tap dancing.
You cannot think about anythingelse.
You cannot like worry aboutwhat's happening in life or at
home, or with bills or work oranything else Like.
You have to be so focusedbecause if you miss one beat,
like you're on the wrong footand you're flailing and you're
like ah.
So when I began teaching, I waslearning how to choreograph and
I found out that I was decentat it and I really enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the creation ofsomething and then teaching
something and then watchingother people do what you made is
(07:49):
so amazing.
So I loved teaching at the dancestudio, but when I was a
freshman in college, the highschool choreographer was
stepping down and they weredoing a remaking of Romeo and
Juliet and there was going to beswing dancing.
And I marched into the schoolup to the theater teacher
(08:10):
because I had left the yearbefore, and I said, please let
me choreograph this show.
And he was like, have youchoreographed a musical?
I said yes, of course I haven't.
He said do you know how toswing dance?
I said yes, of course I didn't.
And he was like, ok, and hegave me that shot.
That was choreography shot of ashow.
I like watched videos and liketaught myself how to do lifts
(08:32):
and taught them how to do liftsTotally dangerous, but we did it
and it was so fun.
And then I was like, oh my gosh, this is it.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (08:39):
And I think that's what sometimes stops a
lot of people in their search iswe get so weary of our wanting
and our wishing that we give upand we simply just resign
ourselves and our wishing thatwe give up and we simply just
resign ourselves.
But sometimes, almostinvariably, there is that like
wink, you know, the wink of God,the wink of a universe that is
saying you know, Rachael, weneed the person who not only can
(09:04):
tap but can bring out the magicon other people.
You know, I think for manypeople our faith is regularly
tested and the way that wemeasure it is the degree to
which we can feel almostintention or agency behind the
good and the bad that happens inour lives.
How has that changed as youhave become an adult and become
a parent yourself and started tosee your connection to another
(09:27):
being that you can't directlycontrol, and how does that
change your sense of faith?
Rachael Evans (09:32):
My mom and dad are both very like go with the
flow.
People like God will take youwhere you're supposed to be.
And even when I started workinghere, I was still going to mass
on Sundays quite regularly.
And then in these walls andwith you all, with the clergy
here, and just in theconversations that I find myself
in, I find I don't want to sayreligion, but I find like hope
(09:55):
and belief and faith and thingsthat sometimes make me question
the way I was raised.
Franklin was baptized mainlybecause of my mom.
I knew like that was somethingI wanted to do and had to do for
her.
And we go to church sometimesand you know I don't sit down
(10:16):
and like open a children's Bibleand tell him the stories.
We have like casualconversations about it.
He's seeing my actions with mymom, who is not well.
She's suffering with dementiathat's taking her mind and her
body and when we go there Idon't try to hide it from him.
He sees me with her, feedingher and brushing her hair and
(10:37):
putting lotion on her hands, andhe sees me like we leave her
and I get in the car and I burstinto tears and he says it's
okay, mommy, it's okay.
And I, you know, I say I knowit's okay, she's okay and we
love her, we're taking care ofher.
And I sometimes question, like,should he not be seeing this
stuff?
This is hard to watch, butthat's life, you know, like I
(10:58):
think it's important.
And he said to me yesterday hesaid first day of second grade,
you know, it's basically middleschool.
I said, well, it's kind of not,it's second grade.
He was like no, third, fourth,fourth, fifth, and it's middle
school, and then it's highschool and then it's college and
then I'm gonna move out andlive on my own.
And I said you're not gonnalive with me your whole life.
And he said, well, after you goup, I'll find my one true love
(11:21):
and get married.
So he was talking about heavenand because we talk about heaven
a lot, because of Nana and justtrying to like be in
preparation of what it's like,and you know, I remember having
the same conversations with myparents, of like, but what do
you think it looks like?
And are we this age or are weyoung?
And that's one of the things Ihave like poked you and Shana
(11:43):
and Julie about, of like, talkto me how you don't believe in
heaven, like I can't cause.
It's really the thing of likethat I I mean, I think I could
probably leave Christmas, butheaven I don't know, that's what
like gives me hope that, likeyou know, my father had issues
with alcoholism and all of that,and my mom always says, like he
(12:04):
definitely spent a good time inpurgatory, but I'm pretty sure
he's made it to heaven now and Ihave to believe that.
And I have to believe likethere will be a day when, like
there will be a day when, like,I will see him again, and you
know.
I tell Franklin like I picturethat it's just like this, but
there's no, you know badness, notraffic jams and no arguing.
And so I'm in the middle oftrying to figure out like kids
(12:29):
ask you questions, like when youleast expect it.
I haven't had to like where dobabies come from?
Yet, but I know it's any second.
But you're just not planning tohave like some monumental
conversation.
As you're walking down thestreet You're like oh OK, pull
it together, even though you'retired.
This is what we're going totalk about now.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (12:57):
And it's so interesting because I really do
think, both as a parent and justgetting to interact with lots
of kids and the nature of ourcommunity is our kids are tapped
into the most importantquestions that we often avoid.
You know, how do we make senseof a world where good people and
people we love end up being indecline in ways that are painful
and excruciating and may, youknow, have shorter lives than
they deserve?
And how do we make sense ofthat?
How does the world seem fair?
And they and our kids, likeFranklin, tap into that?
And what a gift for Franklin toget to see your feelings, you
(13:21):
know, and you're giving him thetools of saying, like, when you
see someone you love, struggle,you're allowed to feel, you're
allowed to be in pain and thento be able to imagine.
How do we make sense of that?
How do we feel the connectionto your father?
You know, there's so manydifferent Jewish understandings
of the afterlife, but one of therabbinic imaginations that I
most love, you know, is avariation of the story of, you
(13:44):
know, a man living in theheights of his life, you know,
wants to know what happens afterhe dies and he prays to God and
says please, I want to see.
And so God brings him up toheaven and he walks in and sees
this huge banquet hall andthere's music playing and
there's food and everyone'ssinging and talking and happy.
(14:07):
And God says this is heaven.
And then says let me show youwhat hell looks like.
And in Judaism we often callhell Gehenna, which is more of
like a purgatory than a heavenor hell.
But it goes down and walks intoan identical room and there's
music playing and there's food,and the only difference is that
people look solemn.
(14:27):
And the man says to God I don'tunderstand.
So heaven and hell look exactlythe same.
Why are some people happy andwhy are some people, you know,
really miserable in hell?
And God says well, in helleveryone's arms are locked at
the elbow and people spendeternity lifting up spoons
filled with the most deliciousfood and try to put it in their
(14:48):
own mouth and end up beingdespondent and hungry and
frustrated by their inability todo it.
And the man says, oh, so inheaven they just their elbows
aren't locked, and said no, it'sexactly the same in heaven,
it's just that in heaven peoplehave learned they can feed their
neighbor.
And I love that image becauseit's a way of saying that
perhaps the biggest differenceis how we approach what comes
(15:10):
next.
And I love the image of itbecause it suggests that, just
as in life, we can make choicestowards the good or for the bad,
or towards selfishness ortowards generosity.
To imagine that doesn't end atdeath.
And so I am a person who verymuch believes in an afterlife
and very much believes insomething coming next, and I
think the people who most pushedme to kind of grapple with that
(15:31):
actually were my kids, becauseotherwise life is terrifying.
Otherwise, when we say goodbye,it's a goodbye that suggests
that there's nothing of meaningthat ripples forward.
And in the way that you know inyour father, in grief over your
father, that you were willingto take the courageous leap into
New York, I'm sure you feel hispresence in myriad ways and
(15:54):
found ways to teach that toFranklin.
So, just because I'm sure loadsof people are dying to ask what
does it feel like to be one ofthe leaders of a Jewish
organization?
As a person who grew upCatholic and continues to bring
Catholicism into her life, whatdoes it feel like to be actually
leading an organization ofanother faith?
Rachael Evans (16:17):
I have never been asked that or thought of that
before.
When I first started I wassitting at the Wednesday clergy
meetings.
I was taking handwritten notesand I could every eighth word.
I was like what, what, what,and various people was next to
me Rabbi Seri, rabbi Leora,rabbi Greshko, and they would
(16:40):
kind of whisper and, like youknow, decipher what was being
said or translate the Hebrew,and it was learning a whole new
language and I thought that thatwas fascinating, that I was
able to, like, sit here and do ajob which I always tell people
is essentially stage managingthe place, like I'm the stage
manager, I run the calendar andthe supplies and the stuff and
(17:01):
the people, but at the same timelearning like a whole new
language.
I thought that that was reallycool, that it was kind of being
educated at the same time.
And Hanukkah and Purim and thesethings have become gigantic
productions, you know, and wejust have the greatest staff
that everyone loves to justhustle Like go grab the water
(17:22):
bottles, Find the radio, go getthis.
Why is this leaking?
Like anyone will do anything,because they just want to see it
done right and fast and best,and I like to do it calmly.
My dad.
He always said the three thingsthat will kill you are hurry,
worry and fear.
And I think that's ingrained inme since I was like tiny, that
(17:42):
like there's no reason to belike stressed out and kerfuffled
about anything.
And I can imagine in otherplaces I would feel
uncomfortable.
I've never felt uncomfortablehere for a second and I think
part of that is because foryears I watched us trust Jose
Suero in setting up Shabbatevery day.
(18:04):
I mean he rolled in with hiscart, he would correct anybody
on the number of candles thatshould be out and knew where the
Torahs were supposed to be.
And this is just a place.
That's like.
You don't have to be anythingto be here, you just be you and
that's fine.
And we are all doing the samething.
We all just want goodness andto help people and to be better
(18:27):
and to make what can be a reallydirty, scary, loud city have
this little piece of sanctuarythat we all can come to.
You know every day.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (18:38):
I couldn't articulate better exactly what I
hope and pray this place alwayscan aspire to be.
You know that we now have inour community room.
I quote from the Bible, fromIsaiah.
You know, my house shall be ahouse of prayer for all people,
and I think about how proud I amto walk into a building where
it doesn't matter which side ofmy family walk in, it doesn't
matter anyone's background.
I hope that this is always aplace where people feel like
(19:01):
whoever you are searcher,wanderer, person who already has
found belonging.
I hope that this can be a placewhere people feel like they can
be embraced and that, even aswe're doing Jewish, that it's
something that's open toeveryone.
You know and you have one of the, I'd say, most robust Hebrew
vocabularies of almost anyone onour team, and I think, like who
could have thought like 19years ago, could you imagine
(19:22):
that you'd be the one correctingpeople on like, like
pronunciation and knowing mostof the blessings and the prayers
?
And so I'm curious, as Franklinis growing up and you're
getting to see parts of yourselfin him, parts of Wilton in him
and parts of him that's justFranklin.
What do you share with him inorder to have him believe in his
(19:43):
own worth, his own belonging,like.
What's the?
What are some of the ways thatyou try to bring or inspire
Franklin to feel his own placeof belonging in this world, or
to at least be a searcher for it?
Rachael Evans (19:56):
My older brother and sister are 15 years older
than me and they both have fourkids.
They're twins.
Sean and Stan are twins.
They both have four kids in thesame order of boy, girl, boy,
boy.
And now their kids have kids.
And I have six great.
They both have four kids in thesame order of boy, girl, boy,
boy and now their kids have kids.
And I have six great nieces andnephews.
And to watch them all in Ohiojust grow up together and do all
(20:19):
of the things you know.
He goes back there and there'slike trampolines in the backyard
and all the dogs Everyone's gotdogs.
I'm so happy he gets to seethat and be there with them and
run around barefoot in the creekand all of those things.
And he's always asking when arewe going to go again?
When are we going to go again?
And I hope that he gets astrong bond with all of those
(20:41):
cousins and his older cousins,that they can always have each
other to lean on, because that'sas important to me, that he has
a relationship with everybodyand that Ohio is a piece in his
heart.
And last night, on the eveningof the first day of second grade
, it was a beautiful night and Isaid let's go outside for a
(21:01):
walk.
And he said can I take my bike?
And I said yeah, Do you want totake the training wheels off?
And he said yes, yes, let's doit.
And he is the perfect combo,because there's a side of him
that's like I coasted with myfeet out for 15 seconds.
I'm amazing.
And then he puts his feet downand he's so frustrated and
there's like this Dominican likeside to him, then this hopeful
(21:24):
side to him, and he flashes backand forth between the two of
them and he got off the bikethree times and he's like forget
it, I'm never going to ride abike, I don't need to ride a
bike, I like a scooter betteranyhow.
And I said okay, fine, that'sfine, let's just, let's just go
home then.
And then I said do you want tojust coast down the hill one
more time to end on a high notefor the evening?
And he said sure, and he got onthe bike and I was holding the
(21:46):
back part and Wilton wasstanding there and he was
coasting.
And then he put his feet up onthe pedals and he said let go,
mommy.
And I said no.
And he said let go and I let goand he just started pedaling
and then from there he pedaledand pedaled and pedaled and
pedaled up and down, over andover and over, and just did it
and like I don't know whatsnapped in him from like I can't
do it, I can't do it, I can'tdo it.
To like yes, I can.
(22:06):
But that's what I hope he hasall the time, that he doesn't
question himself, he doesn't letother people question him.
The part of me that walked inand said like I can choreograph
a swing dance for Romeo andJuliet.
The part of me that was sittinghere when, on the third floor,
I was right next to the restroomand the folding machine, and
then Matthew Cosby said I'mgoing to go be a nurse, and I
(22:28):
went to Joe Elbaum, theexecutive director, and I said I
think I can do the operationsmanager job, having only been
here for like four months.
That part, I want him to havethat like yes, I can do it.
Even if you've never done it,even if you maybe can't do it,
you can definitely figure outhow to do it.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (22:46):
I feel like that captures it all.
I feel like you know both thestruggles of a parent of like.
How do we encourage ourchildren but not push them too
far?
How do we encourage them toride away from us but also know
when to let go?
I mean all of those elementsand I wonder if you know, as you
look back on your journey andyou think about the moments of
(23:07):
pain, the moments where you wereterrified, the moments when you
had the courage to take a leapand not know what was going to
happen For all of us.
We enter this world with afamily of origin and in some way
, shape or form, most of us endup choosing and shaping a new
understanding of family later inlife, and sometimes it's
(23:29):
because of the people we fall inlove with or the children who
are part of the friends thatbecome chosen family.
But along the way, we come tosee that family means many
different things, and it is botha point and a nod to our origin
story and also one of the waysthat we come to define the
circle that's immediately aroundus.
And also one of the ways thatwe come to define the circle
that's immediately around us.
Well, if I can ask just onemore question what's the musical
(23:52):
that most moves you?
Rachael Evans (23:57):
My favorite musical of all time is 42nd
Street.
I was in 42nd Street when I wasin high school and Peggy Sawyer
is from Allentown, Pennsylvania, which is essentially Canton,
Ohio, right Small town girl.
She you know Dorothy Brock isthe person who is like the
longtime Broadway star, isalways the lead, kind of tired.
(24:17):
Peggy is the hungry, vibrant,go-get-em, energetic.
Everyone loves her and gets toshow off her stuff at the tea
shop, if you recall, and I'msort of like, oh my gosh, this
girl can really tap.
Everyone loves her and gets toshow off her stuff at the tea
shop, if you recall, and I'msort of like, oh my gosh, this
girl can really tap.
And I think I just relate tothat because I don't think
people, I mean especially here,if you see me like standing at
(24:37):
the doors of the sanctuary, Idon't think you're being like,
oh, I bet she can tap dance.
And then she gets to step inand be the lead in the musical
and like it's the most amazingend, like the highest, yay, she
made it.
She's where she's supposed tobe.
All her dreams came true.
What can?
What's better than that?
So yeah, 42nd street, it's likethe epitome of the musical which
(24:57):
I was able to do here, whichwas insane.
Um, that was a gigantic leapand I was gunning for it and
everyone, everyone was like howare you going to do 42nd Street
at ?
And I was like I promise you Ican make anybody tap dance.
I promise you, just put the tapshoes on them, I can make
anyone do it.
I think the common goal that Ialways see is when you walk out
(25:21):
of the theater or the church orthe synagogue, is that people
kind of have like rebootedthemselves a little bit, and
that's the goal, that's what Ilove.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (25:31):
Beautiful Rachael.
I want to offer a realgratitude.
This has been a gift of aconversation and I feel so
blessed to get to be with you,with Wilton, with Franklin, as
part of this Royal Deschampsfamily.
We are blessed to have yourleadership and very grateful
that, in all the twists andturns of life, you're willing to
walk in these doors and realizethat this place was calling to
(25:53):
you and, in turn, how much youpour of your own lifeblood into
making this a place of belongingfor so many others.
It is a gift for all of us andlooking forward to many, many,
many more years together here.
Rachael Evans (26:06):
Yes, thank you, Ben, and you know I adore you.
I'll follow you anywhere.
Rabbi Ben Spratt (26:10):
Same.
I'll follow you anywhere.
So, thank you for joining usand listening to this story of
belonging.
Stay connected with us onFacebook and Instagram.
You can find me on Twitter at@Ben H Spratt.
For more information about CRS,visit us online at rodephsholom
.
org.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.