October 18, 2022 • 36 mins
Heather speaks from her heart what the Better Together tribe meant to Anne.
Preorder Call me Anne nowhttps://www.amazon.com/Call-Me-Anne-Heche/dp/1627783318
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, tribe, it feels so good to be talking to
you again. I know it's been a while, but now
that Anne has gone, everything is a little more complicated.
I recorded this a month ago, and I'm so glad
I can finally share it with you. I've also been
working to get the book that she had almost completed
over the finish line with the publisher. It's ready for
pre order on Amazon. So I hope you all get
(00:22):
your copy of Call Me Anne, because it really was
written in large part for this tribe. It's about getting
over abuse and other struggles, with her personal stories intertwined.
The episode you're about to hear is me trying to
put into perspective what Anne stood for, what she meant
to me, and what you all meant to her. Please
go easy on me. This was a tough one. Love
(00:44):
you all.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Okay, we are rolling.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I just don't know how to start art this.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I think that's the perfect way to start it.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
This has been incredibly difficult. But the one thing in
all of this that has been clear to me, after
all the emails and text messages and Instagram messages from
(01:45):
all of our listeners, from everybody in our tribe, that
has been with us from the very beginning, and they
all were saying something so similar. I'm nobody, I'm just
a in Iowa. I'm nobody famous, I'm nobody important. But
(02:06):
here's what Anne meant to me. And I just want
to be able to tell you all from Anne that
you guys were everything to her. And that's why I'm
not talking to any of the media. I'm not talking
to anybody publicly except for you guys, because you guys
(02:30):
are the ones that matter to her, and you're the
ones that matter to me. This podcast has been so
much fun for me and Anna. It's meant so much
more to us than you will ever know. And one
(02:57):
of the things that I found so remarkable during this
past month or so is that our own podcast has
actually helped me get through this horrible time. The things
that we've all learned together on the podcast, the whole
concept of the podcast was better together, that we can
(03:19):
learn more from each other, if we're honest, if we're kind.
All of those lessons that we've all learned together on
all of our shows has been really what has helped
me get through this. And so I want to thank
(03:41):
all of you from the bottom of my heart. I
want to thank you for Anne, for your support and
your love and your kindness and your honesty through this time.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, I mean you wouldn't. They wouldn't be reaching out
and emailing or texting you if it wasn't for the podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So many people found out how to find me through
the podcast. So I've connected with people that Anne did
the soap opera with, and old friends and even the
family that took her in. It has been, you know,
(04:30):
the gateway to a community that was so important for
us to create. And it's a shitty way to find
out that we created it. Yeah, but it's so appreciated
and Anne would be so tickled over it. It was.
Of all of the projects that Anne did, the podcast,
(04:53):
you guys were the ones that mattered to her the most,
and I genuinely, genuinely say that she loved it. Anne
was somebody who would go into a restaurant for dinner
with the most famous person in the world and come
out knowing more about the person who served them dinner
(05:18):
than she probably did the famous person she was at
dinner with. Anne cared about when we were, you know,
almost a year ago, we were in New York Fashion Week,
which you know, we took you all along for that trip,
and one of the things that Anne wanted to do
the most when we got there was to go see
her Dorman from the Ritz Carlton when she was staying
(05:41):
there doing a play. She had a b line for that.
Anne was somebody who despite all of the hardships that
she had in life, and she had them, she had them,
(06:02):
she still woke up every day seeking joy and happiness.
She was not a negative person, and she easily could
have been. And I think that there's a lot of
lessons for us all to learn from Anne and to
take with us, and one of them is her optimism.
(06:26):
Her sheer joy and optimism.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, she like.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's funny that like that.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
The podcast was something she was just I don't know
if we want to cut this out, but like you know,
the podcast never didn't make us any money. We weren't
making money off of it. It was like literally it
was passion project, you know, like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yes, she it's true. You know, we did this podcast
as an outlet for her, for us, for you, because
she enjoyed it so so much and spreading that message.
(07:22):
You know, I think I should back up a little
bit because some of You might not know how Anne
and I met, and it was somewhere around thirteen years ago.
We met where we played tennis at our tennis club,
which sounds fancy, and back then it wasn't as fancy
as it ultimately became, but it was still intimidating, and
(07:46):
women's tennis can be an intimidating thing. And I recognized
in Anne immediately as she was walking up to play
with us, sort of that look of intimidation, which for
Anne is weird look to have, because she doesn't have
that look very often, especially now that I know her.
But I'm telling you, there's nothing, there's nothing like women's
(08:08):
tennis to hear the shit out of you. And so I,
you know, kind of walked up to her and and
kind of took her under my wing and tried to
diffuse the false heightenedness of the importance of the situation.
(08:29):
And we became friends ever since. And then I started
I started working with her. I did her public relations
for a product that they had her and so that's
how I got to know Anne, was initially through work,
and I continued to work with her for thirteen years,
(08:50):
and in that time we became the best of friends,
and she became better together, and she became an extension
of me, and I became an extension of her. And
and I'm at a loss to be honest now without
(09:13):
her here. And that's something that I'm still wrapping my
head around what this world looks like without her in it.
But I can say one thing. While she was here,
(09:33):
she made the most of it, and that's the lesson
that I'm going to take from her. She put her
mark on this world in such a way through the
stand that she took back in the nineties when nobody
else had the balls to do it. All the emails
(09:56):
that I've gotten from people who have said that moment
impacted them, how Anne coming out in the way that
she did gave people the courage to do it because
they could say to their parents, look, this famous actress
is also gay, which was a whole other thing, because
(10:23):
Anne stood for gender free love, something that we know
a lot about now but we didn't then. And Anne
was always somebody who was so ahead of her time,
so ahead of her time when she was when she
and Ellen broke up and she married a man, people
(10:45):
called her a you know, a false lesbian, and you
know she doesn't even She stood for gender free love
and nobody knew what that meant at the time. She
loved the person's soul and that's something that I don't
(11:08):
think anybody had done up until her. I don't think
anybody had stood up for that up until her, and
we're just now all catching up to that idea. And
I think that if she hadn't taken that stand and
she paid the price for it, as we all know,
(11:29):
and we've talked about on the podcast a lot, she
paid the price for that, but she doesn't regret it. Yeah,
she made an impacting change in this world. And I
know because I'm getting chills right now. And that's how
(11:49):
that's how I feel her. And it's been a bizarre
thing because it is, well, you guys don't know, but
she knows that I wasn't the woo woo time. She
was the one that would talk about other dimensions and
whatnot and I would be like, yeah, whatever, girl. But
she's laughing now. She's laughing now because I feel her completely,
(12:13):
and whenever I say something that she agrees with, I
get chills. So especially now that she's not with us,
the impact that she made on this world. It matters,
and I think that's something for us all to remember. Someday,
(12:35):
we're not going to be here. So the choices we
make that may seem big or small, the choices that
we make that make the world better, those are the
choices that matter, and those are the choices that we
should pay attention to. And that is what Anne stood
for her entire life. I also wanted to take a
(13:04):
minute to thank everybody so so much that has been
so incredibly supportive through this time. There were angels all
along the way that I hoped to talk about at
some point. Her family, her friends that I got to
(13:26):
know that I didn't know before. Our podcast production company
Straw Hut and Ryan. Anne's manager at Zero Gravity, Michael McConnell,
was so there when we needed him and handled things
in a way that I know Anne would be so
(13:48):
grateful for my own personal friends. My friends from grade
school came out of the woodwork and sent me flowers
and sent me food. Peter Pizzoli didn't send me anything.
(14:12):
That's an inside joke, just thrown out there for our
longtime listeners, But in times like this, and it's probably
a cliche, but it's so true that it shows you
(14:40):
who your friends are, and it shows you how lucky
you are to have people in your life. And it
also shows you how important kindness is, because if you
don't give it to people, you're not going to get
it back when you need it. And I keep going
back to the things that Anne stood for and that,
as you all know, kindness was everything to her. Well,
(15:13):
this is a story.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
What is those rocks?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
So, as I said, all along the way, and has
been sending me messages and anybody who really knows her,
and you know her, all of you from listening to
the podcast. She was incredibly intuitive. And I even made
the joke to her once if you died, you would
(15:48):
haunt the ship out of me, wouldn't you. You did,
and she did. I say that on the podcast and
and and she said to me, I think she likes
Slyly smiled and said, you definitely feel me. And I
(16:08):
feel her so much. But she's also working her magic,
almost like she's like a conductor up there. I'll give
you an example. In the midst of everything. It was
(16:29):
shortly after Anne passed. You still have to you know,
I'm still a mom. I still got to pay my
bills right, still got to figure out life. And my
son needed a haircut. So he was starting school and
(16:51):
they get in trouble if their hair isn't cut, and
it was going to be the picture day and they
get in trouble. They call it something called jug, which
in Catholic school means justice under God. You literally and
would get a laugh out of that. Actually she did,
Actually she knew what jug was. I told her. So
Henry needed his haircut, so I called the person who
(17:14):
cut his hair. I still can't remember her name, but
she's cut his hair all through COVID. It's spelled differently
than her name should normally be spelled. So I text
her to come and say Henry needs a haircut. And
she shows up, and Henry and I both look at
(17:34):
each other because we're still doing COVID haircuts, like in
the driveway, mostly because my dog is a little vicious,
and so Henry and I both look at each other
and say, she looks different. I'm like, I know, she
looks different, and I said, Henry, but she looks familiar
(17:55):
to me. So she comes in and I hug her
and she says, I'm so sorry about Anne. And she
had said that in the text, which I thought was
weird because I thought, how does this person cutting Henry's
hair connect me? Well, from what I understand there was
(18:15):
there was some news coverage on it. But so Henry's
looking at me, because Henry is somebody who really cares
about his haircuts and he rarely wants to cut it.
So I set him up, set her up. I realize
she's a little too fancy for the driveway. I'm getting
(18:36):
that vibe, so I no offense against the woman who
usually cuts her hair up with more COVID you look
at me. I'm always afraid of hurting people's feelings kindness,
So I bring her back into Beanie my daughters, you know,
in the guest house. And guest house sounds fancy than
it is, folks, it's a studio. So I bring her
(19:00):
back there and get her all set up, and Henry's
sitting in the chair looking at me like kind of
big eyes, like what the fuck is happening?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Mom?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
And so I walk away and I check my text
exchange with this person cutting his hair, and I realize
that this person, her name is Tiffany spelled tiph you know,
Tiffany was the person who did Anne's hair on Dancing
(19:29):
with the Stars. Tiffany is the person that Anne loved.
On Dancing with the Stars. Tiffany would come each week
with a mood board for the week and Anne loved
the time that she put into it and the thought
that she put into it. And I couldn't believe it.
(19:54):
So I go back in and I say to Henry
to ease his fears. Now, Henry Tiffany did Anne's hair
on Dancing with the Stars. And Anne loved Tiffany, you know.
And also at this point, I'm thinking, oh my god,
how awkward that I texted her like what a weirdo
must she think I am that I'm like, hey, Tiffany,
(20:15):
can you come cut my son's hair at my house?
But she didn't miss a beat. She did and she
gave him the best haircut he's ever had. But more importantly,
she said, well, it's a good thing you got me today.
I was about to start this project tomorrow. And without
getting into details on the project, it was a project
(20:36):
that Anne was going to do that she didn't get
and it was going to be it was going to
be a great role for her. But after she finished
cutting Henry's hair. She was so kind and said, I've
(20:57):
been thinking so much about you and I wanted to
give you this, and she gave me. I don't know
if you can see these three stones that I've been
clutching ever since, and a necklace. All my necklaces actually
are from all my friends that have supported me. I
(21:18):
have a story about each one of them. One of
them is from Anne. And it was during that time
that I felt that I was supposed to write an
Instagram post, but I couldn't think of anything. I couldn't.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't write it. I couldn't.
I was going to put something up that said I
(21:39):
don't have words, and that was literally all I was
going to write. And when I took these stones and
held them in my hand, I was able to find
the words. And I just thought, like, Wow, Anne, What
an incredible and knowing Anne. Not only did she give
(22:01):
me something, but I bet you that I bet you
that Tiffany, for whatever reason in her life, appreciated being
needed in the way that she was because I was
so grateful. And that's what I mean when I feel
like she's up there as an orchestrator of all of
(22:24):
us and having a blast, having a blast.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Do you do you know, like why those stones?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Like do you know did she yeah it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
With serenity, clarity, prosperity. I can't remember. I can't. It
doesn't matter, do you know what I mean? Not that deep,
but it is.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
She had a reason when she gave them to you.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And I have to tell you I've clutched them. And
before we started the podcast, I said, I have to
go get something, and that's what I and I actually
wasn't even sure if I was going to tell that story.
But there's so many more examples of that. Everywhere I go.
I see I went, you know, I see this cup.
(23:15):
It's like I see nothing, But this was, you know,
in a store, right in front of me as I
was checking out. And I still feel her. I don't
want to talk much about the accident because I don't
know much about the accident other than what we all know.
(23:42):
I just don't know. I'm as confused as everybody else,
to be honest. What I do know is that when
it was reported that we had recorded the podcast in
the same day, which a is ludicrous because Anne would
never record a podcast before noon, it was actually a
(24:03):
very rare thing that we even recorded the podcast in
that same week, but we'd recorded the podcast much earlier
in the week. I actually didn't wasn't even able to
talk to her on the day of the accident. But
I had my first experience with horrible, mean, unkind, untrue, everything,
(24:31):
the opposite of what Anne stood for. Everything, the opposite
of what Anne stood for. The flip side, as she
would always say, of everything that she stood for, which
is hate, she stands for love, and the flip side
of love is hate. Was overwhelming. Receiving text messages, phone calls,
(24:56):
Instagram messages, emails, hundreds of them blaming me for her accident.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Look, I was Anne's protector. I did look out for her.
She was my friend. I shielded her, I protected her.
(25:44):
It was also my job as her pr person. But
whatever happened that day, I don't know what happened that day.
But the one thing that I do know is that
there is no way that Anne would ever, ever intentionally
(26:10):
put somebody in danger ever. And if anybody who has
listened to a minute of our podcast would know that
that's true. And I would never do anything to put
Anne in danger ever, because I'd love her and I
(26:38):
love her family and I love her kids. I just
don't know what happened, and I don't know that we
ever will.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah. I keep seeing like on all these comments and
stuff about yeah, people thinking that, yeah, I don't know,
you're hiding it or you know, or we're hiding it.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
This podcast promotes drinking. We didn't promote drinking. We I mean, look, girl,
we loved having a glass of wine from time to time,
but it was it wasn't. It was rare that we
did actually, and if we did, it was a it
was a toast, it was a it was a you know,
it's part of our culture. It's part of our fun,
(27:41):
it's part of our joy. I record the podcast on
Friday is at four quite often.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah, I mean, I mean, you look at any other
podcasts there, usually drinks are built into the name of
the show. You know, it's it's it's.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And she didn't have any alcohol in her system, by
the way, so that wasn't even a part of the story.
And and another thing that I would like to say
is that people go back and look at the podcast
and say, oh my gosh, she was so inebriated. That
Anne was Anne was That's the way she spoke, That's
the way she was. She was so creative, and her
(28:20):
brain thought ahead of her mouth.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Fast, so fast. You haven't see her trying to like
because her brain was going so fast, like trying to
like catch up with it with herself all the time.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, when I would see all these comments of people
saying that she wasn't she wasn't drinking, she's just she's
just she's just Anne. Leave her alone.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
It's kind of like, so, so what do we do now?
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Yeah, yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
And what do we do now?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
We talked about, Oh, oh.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I'm telling you I'm going to become I'm going to
be Frank Paris by the I believe it. Frank Paris.
For all you don't know is somebody we had on
our show who is an intuitive and he's good and
he'll be back for sure. Well I guess I just
said he'll be back. So that's what we're That just
(29:34):
came out of my mouth. So so maybe that's Anne
speaking through me. So so we're trying to decide what
to do, and we have a lot more to say.
We had guests lined up, We have guests that have
been on the show that want to come back and
talk about what Anne meant to them. We'd love to
(29:58):
hear from you about what Anne meant to you. I've
already heard from so many of you, and I can't
tell you how much it's meant to me and how
much it would mean to Anne, like she would have,
I can't tell you how much she would have loved
that shit. I would read her all the emails that
(30:19):
people would always send, and she would she would be delighted.
And I know that she's I know that she's feeling it.
I know she's feeling the love. So the question is
can we continue our tribe of learning and growing together
(30:40):
and keeping Anne's mission alive, which is truth, love and
kindness when we When Anne and I talked about starting
this podcast, one of the things that motivated us was
the bullshit of Instagram and how everybody was just so
full of shit and nobody was willing to talk about
(31:04):
the difficult things in life, anything real, anything real, and
we were And.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
People are seeing that now listening back to the podcast,
and people that have just discovered the podcast, they're seeing
how honest and truthful and has been this entire time.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
She made me more truthful. I was, you know, I
was somebody who grew up completely opposite of Anne. This
is actually the worst thing that's ever happened to me
in my entire life by a mile. I think I
was on this podcast that said that the worst thing
that ever happened to me was that my parents got
(31:45):
divorced when I was thirty. I mean Jesus, but she
helped me be more honest about my life because, like hers,
(32:08):
it appears to be easy and great, and while I
live in total joy, it's not easy. I'm going through
a divorce, I've got an ex husband almost x. My
dining room that we're in right now is beautiful, but
the rug smells like cat pee. I'm just telling you honesty.
(32:38):
Got very little money left in my bank account, spent
all my retirement. It's not pretty, but it's real, and
I'm committed to that truth, just like Anne was on
this podcast. And I want this to be a place
(32:58):
that we can all feel safe to be who we are.
And that was why we started it. Like I said,
going back to the whole bullshit of Instagram is that
nobody is honest like that, nobody is telling you the
way it really is, and when and when you tell
it the way that it is, it makes you feel
(33:19):
less alone. It makes you feel like you've got somebody
by your side and your problems. Yes, it it. We
gotta all stop being full of shit. We've got to
all stop being full of shit. And that's what I
(33:40):
want this podcast to be. That's what Anne wanted this
podcast to be. That's what Ryan, I know, wants this
podcast to be. And if you guys are interested, you'll
let us know when we put out these next several episodes.
And if you're not interested, then you know we're good.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
But if you.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Are, we're here for it. I guess right.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, that sounds that sounds right. I mean that sounds right.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I don't know what else to do but try to
keep her legacy alive. And her legacy was about truth,
kindness and joy.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And frankly, I'm gonna go back to season one. We
used to close the podcast, and you know why we don't.
We used to close the podcast and Anne would say
until next time, live and loving kindness, and I would say,
just don't be a dick. But we stopped saying that
(34:54):
because and here I go, Ryan's looking at me like
and then she says too much.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Well, I just liked that ending, but I.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
We stopped saying that because there were certain people on
the podcast and because I'm still working on getting to
my truth. I felt embarrassed saying the word dick in
front of certain people. So like we'd have somebody super
civilized on the podcast and then I'd look across and
be like, and just don't be a dick. And I
(35:20):
felt like a dick by saying the word dick in
front of somebody.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, here, you are saying dick so many times.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I anyway, I didn't know what I was going to
say on this podcast. If I'm totally honest, I knew
I wanted to thank you all. I knew I wanted
to get across what this podcast meant to Anne and
(35:50):
what you all meant to Anne, and what you all
continue to mean to Anne, because like I said, who
she's here, she's well, she's here, she's sitting right next
to me, and I think she'll continue to sit right
(36:10):
next to me, if I'm totally honest, and I think
she'll continue to sit right next to you all. So
if any of you are feeling chills right now, no,
that's Anne and she loves you all and cares about
(36:32):
you all, and I don't know what else to say.
Don't be a dick. I love you Anne, always and forever.
Hi, tribe, it feels so good to be talking to
you again. I know it's been a while, but now
that Anne has gone, everything is a little more complicated.
I recorded this a month ago, and I'm so glad
I can finally share it with you. I've also been
working to get the book that she had almost completed
over the finish line with the publisher. It's ready for
pre order on Amazon. So I hope you all get
(00:22):
your copy of Call Me Anne, because it really was
written in large part for this tribe. It's about getting
over abuse and other struggles, with her personal stories intertwined.
The episode you're about to hear is me trying to
put into perspective what Anne stood for, what she meant
to me, and what you all meant to her. Please
go easy on me. This was a tough one. Love
(00:44):
you all.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Okay, we are rolling.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I just don't know how to start art this.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I think that's the perfect way to start it.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
This has been incredibly difficult. But the one thing in
all of this that has been clear to me, after
all the emails and text messages and Instagram messages from
(01:45):
all of our listeners, from everybody in our tribe, that
has been with us from the very beginning, and they
all were saying something so similar. I'm nobody, I'm just
a in Iowa. I'm nobody famous, I'm nobody important. But
(02:06):
here's what Anne meant to me. And I just want
to be able to tell you all from Anne that
you guys were everything to her. And that's why I'm
not talking to any of the media. I'm not talking
to anybody publicly except for you guys, because you guys
(02:30):
are the ones that matter to her, and you're the
ones that matter to me. This podcast has been so
much fun for me and Anna. It's meant so much
more to us than you will ever know. And one
(02:57):
of the things that I found so remarkable during this
past month or so is that our own podcast has
actually helped me get through this horrible time. The things
that we've all learned together on the podcast, the whole
concept of the podcast was better together, that we can
(03:19):
learn more from each other, if we're honest, if we're kind.
All of those lessons that we've all learned together on
all of our shows has been really what has helped
me get through this. And so I want to thank
(03:41):
all of you from the bottom of my heart. I
want to thank you for Anne, for your support and
your love and your kindness and your honesty through this time.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah, I mean you wouldn't. They wouldn't be reaching out
and emailing or texting you if it wasn't for the podcast.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So many people found out how to find me through
the podcast. So I've connected with people that Anne did
the soap opera with, and old friends and even the
family that took her in. It has been, you know,
(04:30):
the gateway to a community that was so important for
us to create. And it's a shitty way to find
out that we created it. Yeah, but it's so appreciated
and Anne would be so tickled over it. It was.
Of all of the projects that Anne did, the podcast,
(04:53):
you guys were the ones that mattered to her the most,
and I genuinely, genuinely say that she loved it. Anne
was somebody who would go into a restaurant for dinner
with the most famous person in the world and come
out knowing more about the person who served them dinner
(05:18):
than she probably did the famous person she was at
dinner with. Anne cared about when we were, you know,
almost a year ago, we were in New York Fashion Week,
which you know, we took you all along for that trip,
and one of the things that Anne wanted to do
the most when we got there was to go see
her Dorman from the Ritz Carlton when she was staying
(05:41):
there doing a play. She had a b line for that.
Anne was somebody who despite all of the hardships that
she had in life, and she had them, she had them,
(06:02):
she still woke up every day seeking joy and happiness.
She was not a negative person, and she easily could
have been. And I think that there's a lot of
lessons for us all to learn from Anne and to
take with us, and one of them is her optimism.
(06:26):
Her sheer joy and optimism.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, she like.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's funny that like that.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
The podcast was something she was just I don't know
if we want to cut this out, but like you know,
the podcast never didn't make us any money. We weren't
making money off of it. It was like literally it
was passion project, you know, like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yes, she it's true. You know, we did this podcast
as an outlet for her, for us, for you, because
she enjoyed it so so much and spreading that message.
(07:22):
You know, I think I should back up a little
bit because some of You might not know how Anne
and I met, and it was somewhere around thirteen years ago.
We met where we played tennis at our tennis club,
which sounds fancy, and back then it wasn't as fancy
as it ultimately became, but it was still intimidating, and
(07:46):
women's tennis can be an intimidating thing. And I recognized
in Anne immediately as she was walking up to play
with us, sort of that look of intimidation, which for
Anne is weird look to have, because she doesn't have
that look very often, especially now that I know her.
But I'm telling you, there's nothing, there's nothing like women's
(08:08):
tennis to hear the shit out of you. And so I,
you know, kind of walked up to her and and
kind of took her under my wing and tried to
diffuse the false heightenedness of the importance of the situation.
(08:29):
And we became friends ever since. And then I started
I started working with her. I did her public relations
for a product that they had her and so that's
how I got to know Anne, was initially through work,
and I continued to work with her for thirteen years,
(08:50):
and in that time we became the best of friends,
and she became better together, and she became an extension
of me, and I became an extension of her. And
and I'm at a loss to be honest now without
(09:13):
her here. And that's something that I'm still wrapping my
head around what this world looks like without her in it.
But I can say one thing. While she was here,
(09:33):
she made the most of it, and that's the lesson
that I'm going to take from her. She put her
mark on this world in such a way through the
stand that she took back in the nineties when nobody
else had the balls to do it. All the emails
(09:56):
that I've gotten from people who have said that moment
impacted them, how Anne coming out in the way that
she did gave people the courage to do it because
they could say to their parents, look, this famous actress
is also gay, which was a whole other thing, because
(10:23):
Anne stood for gender free love, something that we know
a lot about now but we didn't then. And Anne
was always somebody who was so ahead of her time,
so ahead of her time when she was when she
and Ellen broke up and she married a man, people
(10:45):
called her a you know, a false lesbian, and you
know she doesn't even She stood for gender free love
and nobody knew what that meant at the time. She
loved the person's soul and that's something that I don't
(11:08):
think anybody had done up until her. I don't think
anybody had stood up for that up until her, and
we're just now all catching up to that idea. And
I think that if she hadn't taken that stand and
she paid the price for it, as we all know,
(11:29):
and we've talked about on the podcast a lot, she
paid the price for that, but she doesn't regret it. Yeah,
she made an impacting change in this world. And I
know because I'm getting chills right now. And that's how
(11:49):
that's how I feel her. And it's been a bizarre
thing because it is, well, you guys don't know, but
she knows that I wasn't the woo woo time. She
was the one that would talk about other dimensions and
whatnot and I would be like, yeah, whatever, girl. But
she's laughing now. She's laughing now because I feel her completely,
(12:13):
and whenever I say something that she agrees with, I
get chills. So especially now that she's not with us,
the impact that she made on this world. It matters,
and I think that's something for us all to remember. Someday,
(12:35):
we're not going to be here. So the choices we
make that may seem big or small, the choices that
we make that make the world better, those are the
choices that matter, and those are the choices that we
should pay attention to. And that is what Anne stood
for her entire life. I also wanted to take a
(13:04):
minute to thank everybody so so much that has been
so incredibly supportive through this time. There were angels all
along the way that I hoped to talk about at
some point. Her family, her friends that I got to
(13:26):
know that I didn't know before. Our podcast production company
Straw Hut and Ryan. Anne's manager at Zero Gravity, Michael McConnell,
was so there when we needed him and handled things
in a way that I know Anne would be so
(13:48):
grateful for my own personal friends. My friends from grade
school came out of the woodwork and sent me flowers
and sent me food. Peter Pizzoli didn't send me anything.
(14:12):
That's an inside joke, just thrown out there for our
longtime listeners, But in times like this, and it's probably
a cliche, but it's so true that it shows you
(14:40):
who your friends are, and it shows you how lucky
you are to have people in your life. And it
also shows you how important kindness is, because if you
don't give it to people, you're not going to get
it back when you need it. And I keep going
back to the things that Anne stood for and that,
as you all know, kindness was everything to her. Well,
(15:13):
this is a story.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
What is those rocks?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
So, as I said, all along the way, and has
been sending me messages and anybody who really knows her,
and you know her, all of you from listening to
the podcast. She was incredibly intuitive. And I even made
the joke to her once if you died, you would
(15:48):
haunt the ship out of me, wouldn't you. You did,
and she did. I say that on the podcast and
and and she said to me, I think she likes
Slyly smiled and said, you definitely feel me. And I
(16:08):
feel her so much. But she's also working her magic,
almost like she's like a conductor up there. I'll give
you an example. In the midst of everything. It was
(16:29):
shortly after Anne passed. You still have to you know,
I'm still a mom. I still got to pay my
bills right, still got to figure out life. And my
son needed a haircut. So he was starting school and
(16:51):
they get in trouble if their hair isn't cut, and
it was going to be the picture day and they
get in trouble. They call it something called jug, which
in Catholic school means justice under God. You literally and
would get a laugh out of that. Actually she did,
Actually she knew what jug was. I told her. So
Henry needed his haircut, so I called the person who
(17:14):
cut his hair. I still can't remember her name, but
she's cut his hair all through COVID. It's spelled differently
than her name should normally be spelled. So I text
her to come and say Henry needs a haircut. And
she shows up, and Henry and I both look at
(17:34):
each other because we're still doing COVID haircuts, like in
the driveway, mostly because my dog is a little vicious,
and so Henry and I both look at each other
and say, she looks different. I'm like, I know, she
looks different, and I said, Henry, but she looks familiar
(17:55):
to me. So she comes in and I hug her
and she says, I'm so sorry about Anne. And she
had said that in the text, which I thought was
weird because I thought, how does this person cutting Henry's
hair connect me? Well, from what I understand there was
(18:15):
there was some news coverage on it. But so Henry's
looking at me, because Henry is somebody who really cares
about his haircuts and he rarely wants to cut it.
So I set him up, set her up. I realize
she's a little too fancy for the driveway. I'm getting
(18:36):
that vibe, so I no offense against the woman who
usually cuts her hair up with more COVID you look
at me. I'm always afraid of hurting people's feelings kindness,
So I bring her back into Beanie my daughters, you know,
in the guest house. And guest house sounds fancy than
it is, folks, it's a studio. So I bring her
(19:00):
back there and get her all set up, and Henry's
sitting in the chair looking at me like kind of
big eyes, like what the fuck is happening?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Mom?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
And so I walk away and I check my text
exchange with this person cutting his hair, and I realize
that this person, her name is Tiffany spelled tiph you know,
Tiffany was the person who did Anne's hair on Dancing
(19:29):
with the Stars. Tiffany is the person that Anne loved.
On Dancing with the Stars. Tiffany would come each week
with a mood board for the week and Anne loved
the time that she put into it and the thought
that she put into it. And I couldn't believe it.
(19:54):
So I go back in and I say to Henry
to ease his fears. Now, Henry Tiffany did Anne's hair
on Dancing with the Stars. And Anne loved Tiffany, you know.
And also at this point, I'm thinking, oh my god,
how awkward that I texted her like what a weirdo
must she think I am that I'm like, hey, Tiffany,
(20:15):
can you come cut my son's hair at my house?
But she didn't miss a beat. She did and she
gave him the best haircut he's ever had. But more importantly,
she said, well, it's a good thing you got me today.
I was about to start this project tomorrow. And without
getting into details on the project, it was a project
(20:36):
that Anne was going to do that she didn't get
and it was going to be it was going to
be a great role for her. But after she finished
cutting Henry's hair. She was so kind and said, I've
(20:57):
been thinking so much about you and I wanted to
give you this, and she gave me. I don't know
if you can see these three stones that I've been
clutching ever since, and a necklace. All my necklaces actually
are from all my friends that have supported me. I
(21:18):
have a story about each one of them. One of
them is from Anne. And it was during that time
that I felt that I was supposed to write an
Instagram post, but I couldn't think of anything. I couldn't.
I couldn't do it. I couldn't write it. I couldn't.
I was going to put something up that said I
(21:39):
don't have words, and that was literally all I was
going to write. And when I took these stones and
held them in my hand, I was able to find
the words. And I just thought, like, Wow, Anne, What
an incredible and knowing Anne. Not only did she give
(22:01):
me something, but I bet you that I bet you
that Tiffany, for whatever reason in her life, appreciated being
needed in the way that she was because I was
so grateful. And that's what I mean when I feel
like she's up there as an orchestrator of all of
(22:24):
us and having a blast, having a blast.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Do you do you know, like why those stones?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Like do you know did she yeah it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
With serenity, clarity, prosperity. I can't remember. I can't. It
doesn't matter, do you know what I mean? Not that deep,
but it is.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
She had a reason when she gave them to you.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And I have to tell you I've clutched them. And
before we started the podcast, I said, I have to
go get something, and that's what I and I actually
wasn't even sure if I was going to tell that story.
But there's so many more examples of that. Everywhere I go.
I see I went, you know, I see this cup.
(23:15):
It's like I see nothing, But this was, you know,
in a store, right in front of me as I
was checking out. And I still feel her. I don't
want to talk much about the accident because I don't
know much about the accident other than what we all know.
(23:42):
I just don't know. I'm as confused as everybody else,
to be honest. What I do know is that when
it was reported that we had recorded the podcast in
the same day, which a is ludicrous because Anne would
never record a podcast before noon, it was actually a
(24:03):
very rare thing that we even recorded the podcast in
that same week, but we'd recorded the podcast much earlier
in the week. I actually didn't wasn't even able to
talk to her on the day of the accident. But
I had my first experience with horrible, mean, unkind, untrue, everything,
(24:31):
the opposite of what Anne stood for. Everything, the opposite
of what Anne stood for. The flip side, as she
would always say, of everything that she stood for, which
is hate, she stands for love, and the flip side
of love is hate. Was overwhelming. Receiving text messages, phone calls,
(24:56):
Instagram messages, emails, hundreds of them blaming me for her accident.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Look, I was Anne's protector. I did look out for her.
She was my friend. I shielded her, I protected her.
(25:44):
It was also my job as her pr person. But
whatever happened that day, I don't know what happened that day.
But the one thing that I do know is that
there is no way that Anne would ever, ever intentionally
(26:10):
put somebody in danger ever. And if anybody who has
listened to a minute of our podcast would know that
that's true. And I would never do anything to put
Anne in danger ever, because I'd love her and I
(26:38):
love her family and I love her kids. I just
don't know what happened, and I don't know that we
ever will.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah. I keep seeing like on all these comments and
stuff about yeah, people thinking that, yeah, I don't know,
you're hiding it or you know, or we're hiding it.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
This podcast promotes drinking. We didn't promote drinking. We I mean, look, girl,
we loved having a glass of wine from time to time,
but it was it wasn't. It was rare that we
did actually, and if we did, it was a it
was a toast, it was a it was a you know,
it's part of our culture. It's part of our fun,
(27:41):
it's part of our joy. I record the podcast on
Friday is at four quite often.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah, I mean, I mean, you look at any other
podcasts there, usually drinks are built into the name of
the show. You know, it's it's it's.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And she didn't have any alcohol in her system, by
the way, so that wasn't even a part of the story.
And and another thing that I would like to say
is that people go back and look at the podcast
and say, oh my gosh, she was so inebriated. That
Anne was Anne was That's the way she spoke, That's
the way she was. She was so creative, and her
(28:20):
brain thought ahead of her mouth.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Fast, so fast. You haven't see her trying to like
because her brain was going so fast, like trying to
like catch up with it with herself all the time.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, when I would see all these comments of people
saying that she wasn't she wasn't drinking, she's just she's
just she's just Anne. Leave her alone.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
It's kind of like, so, so what do we do now?
Speaker 3 (28:58):
Yeah, yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
And what do we do now?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
We talked about, Oh, oh.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I'm telling you I'm going to become I'm going to
be Frank Paris by the I believe it. Frank Paris.
For all you don't know is somebody we had on
our show who is an intuitive and he's good and
he'll be back for sure. Well I guess I just
said he'll be back. So that's what we're That just
(29:34):
came out of my mouth. So so maybe that's Anne
speaking through me. So so we're trying to decide what
to do, and we have a lot more to say.
We had guests lined up, We have guests that have
been on the show that want to come back and
talk about what Anne meant to them. We'd love to
(29:58):
hear from you about what Anne meant to you. I've
already heard from so many of you, and I can't
tell you how much it's meant to me and how
much it would mean to Anne, like she would have,
I can't tell you how much she would have loved
that shit. I would read her all the emails that
(30:19):
people would always send, and she would she would be delighted.
And I know that she's I know that she's feeling it.
I know she's feeling the love. So the question is
can we continue our tribe of learning and growing together
(30:40):
and keeping Anne's mission alive, which is truth, love and
kindness when we When Anne and I talked about starting
this podcast, one of the things that motivated us was
the bullshit of Instagram and how everybody was just so
full of shit and nobody was willing to talk about
(31:04):
the difficult things in life, anything real, anything real, and
we were And.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
People are seeing that now listening back to the podcast,
and people that have just discovered the podcast, they're seeing
how honest and truthful and has been this entire time.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
She made me more truthful. I was, you know, I
was somebody who grew up completely opposite of Anne. This
is actually the worst thing that's ever happened to me
in my entire life by a mile. I think I
was on this podcast that said that the worst thing
that ever happened to me was that my parents got
(31:45):
divorced when I was thirty. I mean Jesus, but she
helped me be more honest about my life because, like hers,
(32:08):
it appears to be easy and great, and while I
live in total joy, it's not easy. I'm going through
a divorce, I've got an ex husband almost x. My
dining room that we're in right now is beautiful, but
the rug smells like cat pee. I'm just telling you honesty.
(32:38):
Got very little money left in my bank account, spent
all my retirement. It's not pretty, but it's real, and
I'm committed to that truth, just like Anne was on
this podcast. And I want this to be a place
(32:58):
that we can all feel safe to be who we are.
And that was why we started it. Like I said,
going back to the whole bullshit of Instagram is that
nobody is honest like that, nobody is telling you the
way it really is, and when and when you tell
it the way that it is, it makes you feel
(33:19):
less alone. It makes you feel like you've got somebody
by your side and your problems. Yes, it it. We
gotta all stop being full of shit. We've got to
all stop being full of shit. And that's what I
(33:40):
want this podcast to be. That's what Anne wanted this
podcast to be. That's what Ryan, I know, wants this
podcast to be. And if you guys are interested, you'll
let us know when we put out these next several episodes.
And if you're not interested, then you know we're good.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
But if you.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Are, we're here for it. I guess right.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, that sounds that sounds right. I mean that sounds right.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I don't know what else to do but try to
keep her legacy alive. And her legacy was about truth,
kindness and joy.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And frankly, I'm gonna go back to season one. We
used to close the podcast, and you know why we don't.
We used to close the podcast and Anne would say
until next time, live and loving kindness, and I would say,
just don't be a dick. But we stopped saying that
(34:54):
because and here I go, Ryan's looking at me like
and then she says too much.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Well, I just liked that ending, but I.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
We stopped saying that because there were certain people on
the podcast and because I'm still working on getting to
my truth. I felt embarrassed saying the word dick in
front of certain people. So like we'd have somebody super
civilized on the podcast and then I'd look across and
be like, and just don't be a dick. And I
(35:20):
felt like a dick by saying the word dick in
front of somebody.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, here, you are saying dick so many times.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I anyway, I didn't know what I was going to
say on this podcast. If I'm totally honest, I knew
I wanted to thank you all. I knew I wanted
to get across what this podcast meant to Anne and
(35:50):
what you all meant to Anne, and what you all
continue to mean to Anne, because like I said, who
she's here, she's well, she's here, she's sitting right next
to me, and I think she'll continue to sit right
(36:10):
next to me, if I'm totally honest, and I think
she'll continue to sit right next to you all. So
if any of you are feeling chills right now, no,
that's Anne and she loves you all and cares about
(36:32):
you all, and I don't know what else to say.
Don't be a dick. I love you Anne, always and forever.
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