May 5, 2025 • 15 mins
What if we've been measuring our lives all wrong? In this thought-provoking conversation with David Delrahim, we challenge conventional thinking about aging and longevity, exploring the profound concept that life's value lies in its width rather than its length.
Delrahim shares wisdom that transcends cultural boundaries, including the saying, "life is not about the length, it's about the width." This perspective invites us to reconsider how we approach each day of our existence. Rather than viewing age as a limiting factor, Delrahim encourages seeing it as merely a measurement tool—a counter of time that needn't define our capabilities or mindset.
Whether you're contemplating your own relationship with aging or seeking inspiration for living more fully at any stage of life, this episode offers valuable insights for breaking free from age-based limitations and embracing each day as an opportunity for meaning, growth, and celebration. Join us in discovering how to live wide rather than just living long.
From the producers of PBS's American Health Journal and Innovations in Medicine. Thank you for listening to Better Wellness.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Roland Perez (00:05):
How do you measure your life?
Every one of us gets older, butis our goal living a longer
life or living a full one?
As people live longer, they'reredefining what it means to grow
older, embracing life withvitality and purpose.
We're here today with DavidDelrahim and we're going to talk
about something we all talkabout is age.
(00:27):
Some of us think about it morethan others, and I think of it
as a number, and some of myfriends think that it's a
destination to die.
They get in their 80s and theygo well, I'm not going to buy a
(00:48):
new car because I'm going to bedead soon.
I actually had a friend of minesay that to me.
So you stop growing.
If you're not going to buy anew car, you're not going to go
out, you're not going to go outand do something interesting,
you're not going to go on a trip.
Then what are you doing?
You're dying.
So I'm interested in what youfeel about when I say the word
(01:15):
age.
David Delraheim (01:17):
Age is a counter of the time that we're
in.
One year, two year, all the way.
We're just counting the time.
So there are.
It's a measurement.
It's a measurement tools.
That's that's really.
That's, that's all of this.
(01:40):
There are three components time,place, and we call it,
opponents, duality.
Those are with us.
Time we are born and eventuallywe expire.
(02:01):
That is time Every day, andit's moving forward.
That's why you cannot buyyesterday.
It's over.
It only goes forward.
Right.
Place, where is it?
Planet Earth, and the opponentsthat we call it is just like.
(02:25):
You know what good and badthey're both here.
Which one you want In a timeand a place, and that gives us a
direction in life.
That's really I just summed itup our own life and aging
(02:46):
process and all of these things.
The Persians have an old say.
They say life is not about thelength, it's about the width,
it's not about how many yearsyou're on this planet, it's
about what you do with the timeon this planet.
(03:07):
And the menu is good and bad.
That's what was on the menu.
So age could be looked at as aprocess of evolution, could be
(03:29):
looked at as a process ofevolution because every moment
of every day you looked at thesame menu, good and bad, and you
just had to pick the right mealfor the day, for that moment
perhaps, and you accumulate allof these experiences and we
(03:51):
learn, and we evolve and we gainwisdom.
And then, of course, there's apoint that we get expired.
But I don't believe in that,because we are energy and energy
does not die.
We come back to another place,the time starts and the menu is
(04:21):
still going to be the same.
Roland Perez (04:25):
And the menu is still going to be the same.
Old Korean I think it was aKorean saying that you die and
your children come to yourfuneral.
So who's dead here?
You keep living through yourchildren, your grandchildren and
(04:50):
before you know it, you'reactually the part of your
ancestors.
It's all one big chain.
It's just one chain and younever really die.
You're always there, you'realways moving, and I think
moving is part of age.
David Delraheim (05:02):
Well, you know what.
We are so fascinated by thisage and death that perhaps we're
spending too much time.
Death is inevitable, aging isinevitable because everything is
(05:24):
moving forward.
What do we do in that space, inthat capsule?
It's really what matters.
We started at one level and bythe time we are ready to say
goodbye.
Which level are we at?
And that is our resume.
(05:44):
We are ready to say goodbye.
Which level are we at?
And that is our resume.
So I know we are all seekinglongevity, we want to live 200
years, but it's not about thelength, it's about the wealth.
What do we do?
What do we do with this?
(06:05):
One day, a wise man once askedme how is life going?
I said I'll take it one day ata time.
He said you take it one day ata time.
I said yeah.
He said no, no, no, no, no.
(06:25):
You take it one moment at atime.
A day is an eternity.
Roland Perez (06:32):
Wow, it's fascinating.
It's so true A day could be alifetime.
David Delraheim (06:38):
Could be a lifetime right.
So what do we do today, whichis eternity?
Roland Perez (06:49):
One of the things that always fascinates me is
that the mindset that we have ashuman beings the mindset that
we have as human beings we hitthe age of 70.
And so the first thing we do,we start acting 70.
Because that's what we'resupposed to do.
We're supposed to let otherpeople know that we're 70.
(07:11):
We're not working anymore.
We're playing golf a couple oftimes a week.
This is what people do whenthey're 70.
I have never been like that.
I don't care how old I am, Ihave things the width again.
It's part of what I do each dayGet up in the morning shower.
(07:34):
Get up in the morning shower,do something for the day.
That's the most important.
But honestly, I'm a rare bird.
I measure myself by my friendsand I have to tell you they're
(07:55):
acting their age because they'resupposed to and what we have to
do is break ourselves out ofthat, Because they're supposed
to.
David Delraheim (07:59):
And what we have to do is break ourselves
out of that.
Well, we live a life that inmost cases, we're living
actually a belief system that wehave been programmed with.
Life is life, it's constantLiving.
We're in charge of that.
It's just we are the writer.
(08:21):
And here's the pen.
How am I going to write myliving for today and for many
years to come?
Why don't we just park the age,the number, the clicker on the
sideline Doesn't matter, becausea lot of 70 year old they're
(08:43):
acting like seven year old andyou know, some of the teenagers
are acting so wisely.
So you know what 17, a 40 or a50-year-old man living in a
17-year-old body.
So got to keep the age, thenumber, the clicker and the
(09:10):
sideline and write your life orliving each and every day.
You're in charge of it.
I believe while you are on thisplanet, you have to live your
life to its optimal, to itsmaximum, and this is what cocoon
(09:33):
is all about To create thatawareness, give you proper
support so you can do that.
Can we do that?
Yes, when I walk around and Isee people, interestingly, by
the time they get to age 70, 72,.
(09:53):
You're absolutely right.
They're acting like they're old.
They're not If they take careof their body.
They're not If they take careof their mind and their emotions
.
They're not, but they areacting like one.
Well, if they're acting, theybecome one.
Roland Perez (10:11):
Yeah, just like a good actor plays a part and then
he gets off stage, he gets inthe car and he's still playing
the part.
He gets so involved in playingthat part.
You have to.
Every once in a while, I haveto catch myself and say it's
time for a transformation, it'sa time for a, it's time for me
(10:32):
to cocoon a little bit here.
It's time for me to make atransformation from one to the
other, because I get bored.
David Delraheim (10:39):
You know, I want to give you a perspective
about our birthdays.
We celebrate birthdays having acake, candles blowing the whole
nine yards right.
What are we celebrating?
Are we celebrating that we wereborn on a day like this?
I mean many years later, evenif we could even hit 100 years,
(11:04):
we are still doing it.
I believe we are celebratingthe year that just passed.
We were blessed enough to bealive, we were blessed enough
and we are celebrating thewisdom that we have received,
that today I'm at a completelydifferent level than a year
(11:30):
before.
That is what we should becelebrating and for that, every
day is your birthday.
Every day that you wake up, youopen up your eyes and you can
move your hands and legs and youcan walk around and see all the
(11:51):
beauties in life.
That is your birthday.
Don't wait a year to celebrate.
Roland Perez (11:58):
Celebrate it every day, just having a birthday,
and I was just wondering myself,was I celebrating where I was
or where I'm going to be?
And I thought to myself when Ileft, I said now, what will the
next year bring me?
And I think that's thementality.
David Delraheim (12:22):
That is the mentality so you know what this
whole age?
I know we are working onlongevity and people.
You know what I believe I seethe longevity through being able
to live your best life at anyage, it doesn't matter.
Just put that number on thesideline and live your life.
(12:47):
Live your life to its fullest.
You know, a few years back Iwent into one of these senior
living because somebody died andthey had the memorial service
there, so I got there a littlebit early just walking around.
(13:08):
You know what I saw vividly.
I remember this gentlemanthat's been in his I don't know
mid 80s sitting all by himselfon this cold concrete bench and
(13:35):
looking straight at the wall.
No one was around him, no one.
And I said this really is notfair.
This man, at some point of hislife, care of a family and here
(13:56):
he is just looking at this wallalone, waiting for that caravan
of death to arrive.
This is not what life is about.
Life is about living, it'sabout moving.
And even back then gave me somereally inspirations about what
(14:23):
should be about that next stageof living creating communities,
helping people, even at theirolder, you know ages, to have
the dignity that they deserve,to experience that love you know
(14:50):
.
So for that man to live 120years, for what?
Roland Perez (14:59):
Right.
Put away the measuring tape andwake up every morning and it's
your birthday.
David Delraheim (15:04):
It is your birthday.
It is your birthday.
Roland Perez (15:08):
Well, happy birthday, david, and thank you
for coming in today.
David Delraheim (15:12):
Happy birthday to you, Roland, as well.
Roland Perez (15:15):
For our listeners.
I hope, like David, that youcan learn to face each day as a
new beginning.
And happy birthday.
And remember, the BetterWellness podcast is available
just about anywhere, includingSpotify, amazon Music and
iHeartRadio.
So once again, thanks forsupporting Better Wellness.
I'm your host, roland Perez.
(15:36):
Thanks for listening.
How do you measure your life?
Every one of us gets older, butis our goal living a longer
life or living a full one?
As people live longer, they'reredefining what it means to grow
older, embracing life withvitality and purpose.
We're here today with DavidDelrahim and we're going to talk
about something we all talkabout is age.
(00:27):
Some of us think about it morethan others, and I think of it
as a number, and some of myfriends think that it's a
destination to die.
They get in their 80s and theygo well, I'm not going to buy a
(00:48):
new car because I'm going to bedead soon.
I actually had a friend of minesay that to me.
So you stop growing.
If you're not going to buy anew car, you're not going to go
out, you're not going to go outand do something interesting,
you're not going to go on a trip.
Then what are you doing?
You're dying.
So I'm interested in what youfeel about when I say the word
(01:15):
age.
David Delraheim (01:17):
Age is a counter of the time that we're
in.
One year, two year, all the way.
We're just counting the time.
So there are.
It's a measurement.
It's a measurement tools.
That's that's really.
That's, that's all of this.
(01:40):
There are three components time,place, and we call it,
opponents, duality.
Those are with us.
Time we are born and eventuallywe expire.
(02:01):
That is time Every day, andit's moving forward.
That's why you cannot buyyesterday.
It's over.
It only goes forward.
Right.
Place, where is it?
Planet Earth, and the opponentsthat we call it is just like.
(02:25):
You know what good and badthey're both here.
Which one you want In a timeand a place, and that gives us a
direction in life.
That's really I just summed itup our own life and aging
(02:46):
process and all of these things.
The Persians have an old say.
They say life is not about thelength, it's about the width,
it's not about how many yearsyou're on this planet, it's
about what you do with the timeon this planet.
(03:07):
And the menu is good and bad.
That's what was on the menu.
So age could be looked at as aprocess of evolution, could be
(03:29):
looked at as a process ofevolution because every moment
of every day you looked at thesame menu, good and bad, and you
just had to pick the right mealfor the day, for that moment
perhaps, and you accumulate allof these experiences and we
(03:51):
learn, and we evolve and we gainwisdom.
And then, of course, there's apoint that we get expired.
But I don't believe in that,because we are energy and energy
does not die.
We come back to another place,the time starts and the menu is
(04:21):
still going to be the same.
Roland Perez (04:25):
And the menu is still going to be the same.
Old Korean I think it was aKorean saying that you die and
your children come to yourfuneral.
So who's dead here?
You keep living through yourchildren, your grandchildren and
(04:50):
before you know it, you'reactually the part of your
ancestors.
It's all one big chain.
It's just one chain and younever really die.
You're always there, you'realways moving, and I think
moving is part of age.
David Delraheim (05:02):
Well, you know what.
We are so fascinated by thisage and death that perhaps we're
spending too much time.
Death is inevitable, aging isinevitable because everything is
(05:24):
moving forward.
What do we do in that space, inthat capsule?
It's really what matters.
We started at one level and bythe time we are ready to say
goodbye.
Which level are we at?
And that is our resume.
(05:44):
We are ready to say goodbye.
Which level are we at?
And that is our resume.
So I know we are all seekinglongevity, we want to live 200
years, but it's not about thelength, it's about the wealth.
What do we do?
What do we do with this?
(06:05):
One day, a wise man once askedme how is life going?
I said I'll take it one day ata time.
He said you take it one day ata time.
I said yeah.
He said no, no, no, no, no.
(06:25):
You take it one moment at atime.
A day is an eternity.
Roland Perez (06:32):
Wow, it's fascinating.
It's so true A day could be alifetime.
David Delraheim (06:38):
Could be a lifetime right.
So what do we do today, whichis eternity?
Roland Perez (06:49):
One of the things that always fascinates me is
that the mindset that we have ashuman beings the mindset that
we have as human beings we hitthe age of 70.
And so the first thing we do,we start acting 70.
Because that's what we'resupposed to do.
We're supposed to let otherpeople know that we're 70.
(07:11):
We're not working anymore.
We're playing golf a couple oftimes a week.
This is what people do whenthey're 70.
I have never been like that.
I don't care how old I am, Ihave things the width again.
It's part of what I do each dayGet up in the morning shower.
(07:34):
Get up in the morning shower,do something for the day.
That's the most important.
But honestly, I'm a rare bird.
I measure myself by my friendsand I have to tell you they're
(07:55):
acting their age because they'resupposed to and what we have to
do is break ourselves out ofthat, Because they're supposed
to.
David Delraheim (07:59):
And what we have to do is break ourselves
out of that.
Well, we live a life that inmost cases, we're living
actually a belief system that wehave been programmed with.
Life is life, it's constantLiving.
We're in charge of that.
It's just we are the writer.
(08:21):
And here's the pen.
How am I going to write myliving for today and for many
years to come?
Why don't we just park the age,the number, the clicker on the
sideline Doesn't matter, becausea lot of 70 year old they're
(08:43):
acting like seven year old andyou know, some of the teenagers
are acting so wisely.
So you know what 17, a 40 or a50-year-old man living in a
17-year-old body.
So got to keep the age, thenumber, the clicker and the
(09:10):
sideline and write your life orliving each and every day.
You're in charge of it.
I believe while you are on thisplanet, you have to live your
life to its optimal, to itsmaximum, and this is what cocoon
(09:33):
is all about To create thatawareness, give you proper
support so you can do that.
Can we do that?
Yes, when I walk around and Isee people, interestingly, by
the time they get to age 70, 72,.
(09:53):
You're absolutely right.
They're acting like they're old.
They're not If they take careof their body.
They're not If they take careof their mind and their emotions
.
They're not, but they areacting like one.
Well, if they're acting, theybecome one.
Roland Perez (10:11):
Yeah, just like a good actor plays a part and then
he gets off stage, he gets inthe car and he's still playing
the part.
He gets so involved in playingthat part.
You have to.
Every once in a while, I haveto catch myself and say it's
time for a transformation, it'sa time for a, it's time for me
(10:32):
to cocoon a little bit here.
It's time for me to make atransformation from one to the
other, because I get bored.
David Delraheim (10:39):
You know, I want to give you a perspective
about our birthdays.
We celebrate birthdays having acake, candles blowing the whole
nine yards right.
What are we celebrating?
Are we celebrating that we wereborn on a day like this?
I mean many years later, evenif we could even hit 100 years,
(11:04):
we are still doing it.
I believe we are celebratingthe year that just passed.
We were blessed enough to bealive, we were blessed enough
and we are celebrating thewisdom that we have received,
that today I'm at a completelydifferent level than a year
(11:30):
before.
That is what we should becelebrating and for that, every
day is your birthday.
Every day that you wake up, youopen up your eyes and you can
move your hands and legs and youcan walk around and see all the
(11:51):
beauties in life.
That is your birthday.
Don't wait a year to celebrate.
Roland Perez (11:58):
Celebrate it every day, just having a birthday,
and I was just wondering myself,was I celebrating where I was
or where I'm going to be?
And I thought to myself when Ileft, I said now, what will the
next year bring me?
And I think that's thementality.
David Delraheim (12:22):
That is the mentality so you know what this
whole age?
I know we are working onlongevity and people.
You know what I believe I seethe longevity through being able
to live your best life at anyage, it doesn't matter.
Just put that number on thesideline and live your life.
(12:47):
Live your life to its fullest.
You know, a few years back Iwent into one of these senior
living because somebody died andthey had the memorial service
there, so I got there a littlebit early just walking around.
(13:08):
You know what I saw vividly.
I remember this gentlemanthat's been in his I don't know
mid 80s sitting all by himselfon this cold concrete bench and
(13:35):
looking straight at the wall.
No one was around him, no one.
And I said this really is notfair.
This man, at some point of hislife, care of a family and here
(13:56):
he is just looking at this wallalone, waiting for that caravan
of death to arrive.
This is not what life is about.
Life is about living, it'sabout moving.
And even back then gave me somereally inspirations about what
(14:23):
should be about that next stageof living creating communities,
helping people, even at theirolder, you know ages, to have
the dignity that they deserve,to experience that love you know
(14:50):
.
So for that man to live 120years, for what?
Roland Perez (14:59):
Right.
Put away the measuring tape andwake up every morning and it's
your birthday.
David Delraheim (15:04):
It is your birthday.
It is your birthday.
Roland Perez (15:08):
Well, happy birthday, david, and thank you
for coming in today.
David Delraheim (15:12):
Happy birthday to you, Roland, as well.
Roland Perez (15:15):
For our listeners.
I hope, like David, that youcan learn to face each day as a
new beginning.
And happy birthday.
And remember, the BetterWellness podcast is available
just about anywhere, includingSpotify, amazon Music and
iHeartRadio.
So once again, thanks forsupporting Better Wellness.
I'm your host, roland Perez.
(15:36):
Thanks for listening.
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