“Trauma and quiet heartbreak”: Managing the mental toll of medical gaslighting and healthcare bias

In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked psychological toll of medical misogyny.

From the stress of medical gaslighting and misdiagnosis to the compounding effects of invisible illnesses like endometriosis, and the isolating experience of grieving for the life you’d planned—we unpack how being disbelieved can be traumatic.

We also dive deep into how trauma-informed therapy, self-care, and finding supportive communities can help manage both the emotional and physical burdens of chronic conditions. Plus, Grace shares a candid personal experience with developing a hospital phobia, and we discuss the social dynamics that shift when you’re chronically ill—how relationships change, how to deal with unsolicited advice, and how to find a tribe that truly understands.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode mentions medical trauma, themes of mental ill health and transphobia.

Guests:

• Seona Ilalio, psychologist at Livology clinic in Melbourne and co-host of But You Look So Good podcast
• Dr Jane Hutchens, a researcher at the INSIGHT Research Institute at the University of Technology Sydney
• Kat Theophanous MP, Labor Party member of the Victorian Legislative Assembly, representing the seat of Northcote
• MJ O’Neill, Brisbane-based freelance adviser with lived experience of several chronic health conditions
• Jacinta Dietrich, Melbourne-based co-host of the Differently Brained podcast, author and PhD student, living with auDHD and chronic fatigue syndrome
• Erin, who has Hashimoto’s disease and tragically lost her unborn son following abnormalities in her pregnancy bloodwork that, she says, weren’t thoroughly investigated

Resources for this episode:

• “Is self-advocacy universally achievable for patients? The experiences of Australian women with cardiac disease in pregnancy and postpartum,” Dr Jane Hutchens et al, 2023.
• “Yes, trans people are still being refused health care in Australia,” Dr Sav Zwickl and Tomi Ruggles, February 2025.
• "Disruption of gender-affirming health care, and COVID-19 illness, testing, and vaccination among trans Australians during the pandemic: a cross-sectional survey", Dr Sav Zwickl, Tomi Ruggles et al, 2023.
• “APS calls for more Medicare-subsided sessions in The Medical Republic,” Australian Psychological Society, 2025.
• “‘Beyond the Surface: Investigating the Mental Health Realities for Australian Women in 2025’: The Centre for Sex and Gender Equity in Health and Medicine (The George Institute for Global Health) and the Liptember Foundation, 2025.