October 12, 2025 • 24 mins
What if your family had a shared language for hard days? One that told the truth without handing kids the weight of adult problems? That’s the heart of our conversation with Kendall Concini, mum, program design pro, and the voice behind Cloudy Day Chronicles, a children’s book co-created with her four-year-old to make mental health talkable, gentle and real.
Kendall shares how years in person-centred program work shaped a simple metaphor that sticks: emotions as weather. Clouds pass. Tornadoes whirl. Rocks need time. We unpack how that language transforms everyday friction like sleepless nights, shoe stand-offs and sensory overload, into moments of connection and repair. Instead of “cheer up mum,” kids learn to keep playing while respecting boundaries; parents learn to name states, take a reset and come back regulated. We also dive into the publishing journey: why Kendall chose self-publishing to protect her daughter’s voice, how “too big” words can help children feel powerful, and what happens when the market asks for happy-only stories that don’t match real life.
From early emotional literacy to practical scripts you can use today, this episode blends honest parenting, mental health advocacy and creative courage. You’ll hear concrete ways to introduce feelings, plus tips for bringing humane rhythms into work and home. If you’ve ever wondered how to talk to kids about depression without making them responsible for it, this warm, clear approach shows the way.
Subscribe for more candid, useful conversations, share this with a parent who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find the show. Got a “weather word” your family uses? Connect with Kendall on Instagram @cloudydaychronicles.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:18):
Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in.
Welcome back to another episodeof Beyond Organised.
(01:02):
I have Kendall Concini here.
She is a mum, but also a recentauthor.
She has helped a lot of peoplein many different ways, and I am
going to let her do the rest ofthe talking on this one.
As you can probably tell, myvoice isn't going to hold up
much longer.
So welcome, Kendall.
Welcome to the show.
Kendall (01:21):
Yes, it was great chatting with you before this
and getting to kind of share alot of those experiences.
My background is in programdevelopment and it's taken me to
a lot of different nonprofit,profit, charter schools,
education, hospitals.
And so I've had the opportunityto, you know, as you do, life
coaching.
So program coaching and helpingpeople to do person-centered
(01:45):
approaches.
So with that being my careerfor so long, I've embraced that
in everyday life of just helpingto understand people better.
And it has helped me be I'm areally big mental health
advocate.
So I've taken that into myparenting, and that's where my
author journey sort of camefrom.
(02:07):
Oh, I love that.
Mel (02:08):
And I've been following you on Instagram, and you've got
the Cloudy Day Chronicles.
I would love to hear more aboutthat, and I'm sure the
listeners would too.
Kendall (02:18):
Yeah, so it started with um, and I've a lot of
people know this, but I do lovekind of saying it because it
seemed taboo to talk aboutstruggling and parenting.
Um you're supposed to just haveyour kids and glow the entire
time.
Smile.
Um and I did not.
I it took me a while to comearound to having the idea of
(02:39):
children because I struggledwith mental health and finding
my inner strength to say it'sokay for me to exist in the
world and reproduce.
And so when my husband and Ihad children, you know, I went
through my normal depression,then I went through PPD.
And when my daughter's kind ofmemory and language took off, I
(03:02):
needed a way to talk to herabout it.
That mom wasn't crying becausesomething she did was something
else, but not dumping that onher from my now, I want to
parentified child.
Yeah.
We started with she's a waterbaby, she loves everything
water, swimming, playing insplash beds.
Sounds like my daughter.
Yes.
I am not the water parent.
(03:25):
I not enjoy it.
It is like a where's your dad?
We use the analogy of a cloud.
So we would say, you know,we're at the beach and you love
it.
Mom doesn't love it.
So I have a little cloudy dayover here.
And that sort of resonated.
And it took to then if I washaving a really hard day,
(03:46):
telling her, like, my cloud'sjust here, um, and explaining my
emotions to her through it.
And so the cloudy daychronicles came from having
those conversations, admittingto people, like, I just this is
what's going on today, and Idon't want to hide behind it and
kind of feel shame about notbeing able to just smile.
(04:07):
Um, and so then I decided inabout really bad like health
stuff, I'm gonna distract myselfby actually writing that book I
said I was always going to do.
So um my daughter Alma and I westarted with a rhyming version
and we were rhyming back andforth, and then it developed
(04:29):
into a bigger children's picturebook, and now we're working on
publishing it around January of2026.
So exciting.
So you actually did it withyour daughter.
I did.
There was a few hard parts.
Um, I did go to traditionalpublishing querying to begin.
Uh, and just that control, itwas so hard to be asked to cut
(04:55):
some parts that were like theheartbeat of the story, or just
the idea of talking to children.
So, like almost four, and shehelped me make the book and
hearing like, well, you have tocut it because that's too many
words.
I'm like, she wrote the word.
Yeah, and it's to relate to thechildren.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And some like tags she used.
So at one point we had likeproclaimed, and I remember
(05:18):
because it was the day shelearned it, she was so excited,
and she'd be like, I proclaimthis.
And they're like, You can't usethat word for kids.
I'm like, Yes, you can, if ifyou want them to be smarter.
Yeah.
So I ended up going umself-publishing because it was
just you know kind of a littledifferent.
And and so I've had the I founda fantastic illustrator.
(05:41):
What she is gonna do like blowsmy mind.
I don't even want to like, Idon't take credit for the whole
book.
She she's shading and she isthe way she created the cloud as
a character and it takesdifferent shapes and stuff.
It's just been an incredible tolike see it transformed.
Mel (05:59):
Bring it to life, yeah.
And that is so cool.
And I love I love that yousooner got rid of your publisher
than change all the things thatyour daughter did.
Like, because at the end of theday, it's not just about making
a book for money, right?
It's the experience with yourdaughter.
Like, how many kids can saythey wrote a book with their
(06:19):
mum?
And at that age, that's reallycool.
I'm I can't wait for this bookto get out.
I want to have a look at it.
Um, that is so good.
What do you think is sort ofthe main thing that people
experience?
Kendall (06:33):
I'm writing the book and I'm doing like the Crani Day
Chronicles because I couldn'tfind it.
So I was going through thedepression and parenting, and I
tried really hard to findsomething to talk to her about
it, not in a let's go sit in atherapist's office way.
And when I couldn't find it, Ihad started using my own kind of
(06:57):
story to tell her.
And part of it was I felt anintense shame.
Like in traditional publishing,when people are declining the
book and saying it's not a fitfor me, what they're saying is
like, well, this isn't massmarketable.
I can't connect to this.
We just want something happier.
And I and I sit and I think,like, I wish I can do that.
(07:18):
I wish I can just give my kidsan only happy story.
But I also don't want them toyes, and and for a while that
stopped me.
That's what stopped me fromwanting to have kids.
But it got to a point where I'mlike, I want to feel all my
feelings and also enjoy thesunny days with my kids.
(07:39):
So maybe mom has a cloudy dayevery now and then, but I have
to remind myself, and one of thebig lines from the book is
clouds don't last forever.
And so the idea that we canfeel that, we can have that
emotion, we can process it.
We can tell kids is it existsbecause it does.
And then we can tell them howto enjoy the other days.
(08:01):
And if we wait until what themarket thinks is we can't have
that conversation until she's inher tens and she's in her 16,
she's 18.
It is.
And you know, you look at whatthey're doing in school, that is
the easier stuff.
So they're starting languagesin school.
We used to start at what highschool.
Now languages are in elementaryschool.
(08:23):
They have music.
It used to be you get yourinstrument in ninth grade, now
you get it earlier.
I'm like, but we're not doingthat for mental health.
And the way the world is now,we need it earlier more than
ever.
Mel (08:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I I think what you're doing isbrave because even though I
think the world is so much moreaccepting now of where people
are at with their mental health,there is still so much that I
think we still get told toalmost keep it quiet from the
kids, protect them from it, keepit separate, don't put adult
(08:58):
issues onto children.
But we're not exactly talkingabout the fact that kids are so
smart, they pick up on everyemotion, everything.
And if we're going aroundtelling them that feeling sad or
feeling angry or scared or allthese things are bad, then
(09:18):
what's that really teachingthem?
That's teaching them to go, I'mfeeling those things, I'm not
allowed to feel those things,there's something wrong with me,
or I can't talk to anyone aboutthis because I don't want to
get in trouble.
Like there's just all those, itthe knock-on effect is huge.
And I think what you're doingin just breaking that cycle and
just going, there is a way tohave a healthy conversation
(09:42):
about this.
We're not fixating on it, butwe are talking about it.
And if anything, doesn't thatjust make your sunny days all
the more sunnier?
Kendall (09:53):
That's a big part of the book, is I wrote it in a way
that the kids aren't expectedto cheer mom up.
So it's not, and that andthat's sort of what I did grow
up with.
I grew up with when when oneperson was sad, my dad would go,
go, you know, cheer up yourmom.
Yeah.
Yep.
And it's not theirresponsibility.
So a big part of the book wasthe kids see mom sad and mom
(10:15):
says, go play.
I'm just gonna sit and I'mgonna join you when I'm ready.
And the kids accept that andthey say, Okay, when you're
ready, mom.
And so part of it is just theycan recognize the emotion.
They do invite her to dothings, but they invite her to
do it her way.
So they want to play in thesand.
They say, Mom, you lay down,we'll put sand on top of you.
And so it's the idea that ifemotions happen, you don't have
(10:39):
to solve them, you don't have totell mom to go home.
You just let someone come theway they need to be there.
And so a big part of that, Ithink, is where mental health
needs to be more accepting.
You know, I can get into thethroes of like jobs and the nine
to five and like eight.
It's just there's no, you know,back in the day you get smoke
(11:03):
breaks.
There's no mental health break.
There's no, I need a second tostep away from all of these
emails and be over here, or Ineed to, you know, teleworks
kind of a thing, but there's nota can I telework today because
the world's a lot and I'm gonnaget my job done, but can I get
it done in the space that Ineed?
And that is a goal of teaching,like holding space for someone
(11:26):
and learning how to supportthem.
And so I'm trying, and the backof the book is what I'm most
excited about because we havelike discussion questions to
kind of spark that.
Um, and we have some resourcesfrom I have a merriment maker,
and she has like a 30 days ofjoy challenge we've put in
there.
And so the idea is just amentality shift to say, here's
(11:50):
how to react to people withemotions.
And so, yes, the book is abouta family and mom, but it could
be it just any loved onelearning to recognize emotions
in others and let them feelthose feelings.
Mel (12:05):
Yeah.
But I'm just thinking like howwell adjusted your daughter will
be when she goes into herteenage years.
Well, I remember being ateenager.
Well, we're certainly hoping,right?
But like I remember being ateenager and I mean a girl for
starters, there's already a lotof emotions to deal with and
everything.
But if she's learning thesefoundational human behaviors and
(12:31):
emotions and feelings and thatat this age, she's gonna be so
emotionally mature when herfriends are going through stuff,
when she's going through stuffand all of that, and actually be
able to process it healthier.
She might still have hermoments where she's gonna learn
and all of that too.
But I I I would think as a mum,I would feel like I've done the
(12:59):
absolute best I can to prepareher for the world ahead because
we don't want to shelter themfrom it.
They're they're part of it, butit's just equipping them and
not scaring them.
And I just I love your messageand I think it's hard as a
parent myself.
I kind of don't know when tobring things up or what to say,
(13:22):
because there are people in inmy life and close to my children
who do have uh variousdisabilities that are not
physical but neurological, thathave depression, all of those
kind of things.
And I kind of don't know how totalk about it.
And it's not that I'm trying toavoid it or I'm saying that
(13:43):
it's bad.
I kind of just don't know howto bring it up in a healthy way.
And I think you have donesomething that so many of us
just have struggled to do andstruggled to find.
And because you're certainlynot the only woman that's
experienced depression and andas a mum as well, there are
(14:03):
millions, millions, and but itdoesn't mean you don't want to
be a mum, that you don't want tobe here, that there's all these
things that it's so complex.
But the way that you have justbrought it down into something
that's just so digestible, evenfor adults that maybe can't even
comprehend properly, I thinkwhat you're doing can seriously
(14:26):
impact a lot of lives.
And I'm very humbled to haveyou on this show because I think
what you're doing is gonna takeoff.
Kendall (14:35):
I need to like put the asterisk too though.
I think there needs to be avulnerability for people to also
say, like, I'm not that good atit.
So we have like my daughter hasthis emotional awareness, and
sometimes it does backfirebecause I have shared the story
before.
She now identified that heremotions are a tornado.
(14:55):
So she is a four-year-old.
We are looking at how kind ofadvanced her language and her
memory and stuff are.
So, you know, they don't kindof do the neurological testing,
but she's very ahead.
And with that comes she stillhas the raging emotions of a
four-year-old.
So we have a lot of meltdowns.
(15:16):
Right now, it's actually been avery hard month because she
won't sleep.
Like she just doesn't like it.
And it her mind just keepsgoing.
So she has a lot of emotionsand she will scream and say,
This is my tornado, and it's afour-year-old meltdown, but she
(15:37):
has that awareness.
Yeah.
And so and that's kind of thepositive part, is me knowing,
like, okay, I snapped at her inthat moment because I'm not
great keeping my cool when shehas been screaming for, you
know, from two A.
Two and everyone else.
No judgment here.
But but the idea is because ofwhat we've been able to talk
(16:02):
about, I am able to prompt herin that moment.
And I will tell her, like,Alma, if I have to come back in
here, I'm probably coming inwith a storm cloud because I'm
not gonna be happy.
And so she can know then thathappy mom is coming back
stressed because this is stillgoing on.
And so when we had that roughnight, the next morning we're on
(16:24):
our way to school, and she hitme with like the teenage angst
of like, I wish I had a housethat didn't yell.
And I was like, Well, why did Iyell?
And she goes, Well, I didn'tput my shoes on and you got a
stormy cloud.
And I was like, Yes, and whatcould I have done differently?
And she's like, Well, I couldhave gotten my shoes.
And I said, Okay, but you had atornado and you were
(16:46):
everywhere.
And so it was kind of usingwhat we identify to break the
cycle that my family hadn't,because the answer was, I'm your
parent.
I told you to do this, youshould have done it.
And I'm like, Well, I had somany emotions.
Why aren't mine valid?
And so part of it is I'm notgood at this.
(17:06):
I don't have like thetherapist's name on the back on
some days, but it's being ableto be vulnerable and telling
her, hey, mom screwed up becausethis is what was going on in my
and what are you feeling too?
And then recognizing hertornado and saying, okay, let's
talk that through because you'renot just losing your mind, you
(17:30):
are finding your voice to say, Iam experiencing something
bigger than just I'm tired.
It's a lot of processing.
Mel (17:39):
That in itself is huge.
And yeah, don't get me wrong,I'm not saying that your
daughter's not gonna have a badday.
She's still a typical child.
Um, but it's more that you'veequipped her with a language to
be able to express that.
But you're giving her the spaceas well to express it because
yes, the the generation of ourparents, it was very much just
(18:04):
do as I say, and no buts, noexcuses, just do it.
And they they meant well, butthey also did not know how to
handle us as kids and all ofthat.
I I get that, especially beinga mom now myself.
Totally respect my parents andI love them.
But I also I want to have thathealthy balance of them not
(18:28):
necessarily questioningeverything I do, but when there
is that thing that we need totalk about, that we can talk it
through.
As I was saying, you you'vecreated this language that I
love and I want to adopt into myfamily to be able to help with
those difficult conversationsthat I just haven't known how to
(18:51):
address before.
So thank you for being able togive me the language to then
help my children express that aswell.
Kendall (19:00):
You know, I think it started way back when I was in
therapy.
My therapist described myemotions like a wave.
And it was, you know, the wavesare going and you can play in
them, but you can also feel theundertow.
And for a while that madesense.
But when I was working on it, Iwas like, it's not a wave
because waves are like in oneplace.
And so the cloud made moresense to me because I did like
(19:24):
my personal cloud research, butdon't ask me any of the like
exact names, not that into them.
That's okay.
That's okay.
It was fascinating to like thedifferent environments clouds
show up in, the different waysthey show up, and the sunny ones
and the you know dark ones, andand so saying that that is how
(19:45):
your emotions can show up toojust kind of clicked with me,
and it was an easier way to talkto them.
And then, yes, like my daughterwants a tornado.
My son's only two, and he'slike new to his language, so he
wants a rock, which isn't likethe best analogy, but he does
just lay down, he gets in thislittle like rock pose, and he's
(20:06):
just like, and I'm like, I'mgonna go.
Oh, bless him.
Oh, that is so adorable.
That's kind of part of the hopeis you know, he has that's the
emotions of a two-year-oldthough, where they like pout and
sit.
And I'm like, okay, I'll seeyou in a couple of minutes.
And you know what?
Mel (20:24):
They can be stubborn.
I say that word lightly, as arock sometimes.
I'm not budging.
I know what I'm talking about.
I've been here two whole years.
Oh man, that is so good.
So, what is one thing that youwould love every mom out there
to know who is perhapsstruggling with depression,
(20:47):
whether it's postpartum orsomething that they've been
dealing with for years?
What's something that you wouldlove the mums out there to
know?
Kendall (20:53):
So it's sort of a spoiler from the book too, but
the quote, it's okay to not beokay, like that's the biggest
one.
I think moms, we think, and wedo, we think we have to sit in
it 24-7, and we do sit in it24-7 because we have that
extreme guilt to walk away.
And a big piece of it wasrecognizing that the cloud is a
(21:17):
part of me.
It's not all of me.
And some days it's gonna feellike it's all of me, but it's
not who I am, and having a badday doesn't define your entirety
of motherhood.
And what I have been able to dofrom recognizing that is giving
myself permission to know thata cloud is kind of rolling in.
(21:39):
And so if we are going throughsomething hard at home, I will,
as much as it gives me the momguilt, I'll tell my daughter,
like, if this doesn't stop, momneeds to walk away for five
seconds and come back.
And I will like leave astressful room or I am very
triggered because she wentthrough like colic phase.
So the crying is just like DDemotion.
(22:01):
I know that.
Yeah.
And so now if she starts again,I say I was like, mom can't
take this.
I need to come back when thisis quieter.
And so it's being able to justsay that.
And it's not that suddenly mydaughter's never gonna love me
because mom walked away in achaos.
And it's just it's hard becausethe mom guilt is deep.
(22:24):
But recognizing that it is okayto tell someone I need to step
away from this for a minutebecause the mom that stays in it
24-7 is strong, but not asstrong as the one who walked
away and came back with a littlereset.
Yeah, regret.
Yes.
And so that's been somethingthrough this book I've been able
(22:46):
to do because once we reallytook to like, we have a cloud
pillow too.
And so if we are really kind oflike in this rut, I can go grab
it and just say, all right,like we need to stop for a
second.
And we are able to recognizethat visually, and now with her
kind of learning more language,we're able to talk it through.
Mel (23:09):
So good.
Oh, that is so good.
So I hate to wrap this up, butwhat is the best way for people
out there to find you?
Kendall (23:20):
So I am on Instagram at Cloudy Day Chronicles.
Um, and then there's also alink to, I'm doing a blog post
that iscloudydaychronicles.wordpress.
And that is more about the kindof adult side of where I want
moms to read to resonate, whereI want parents to read and
resonate, and people to kind oftalk and see those days that are
(23:44):
here's what I went through, andit's still okay.
Like here, so I write the postabout the depth of it, and then
I put a happy photo of me andthe family because we went
through this, but here's the thehappy memories we took away.
Mel (23:57):
Yeah, that is so good.
Well, I'll make sure all theinformation is in the notes
there.
So just head to the descriptionand they can find that and get
in touch with you.
But thank you so much, Kendall,for coming on and sharing your
message.
I really appreciate it.
Kendall (24:14):
Yeah.
Mel (24:15):
If you like this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so
you don't miss what's comingnext.
And if you want to continue theconversation, you can connect
with me on Instagram atis.organized.
Offer some free resources, headover to beocorganized.com slash
toolkit.
Remember, organizing is a toolto risk the perfect school life
beyond it.
See you next time.
Welcome to Beyond Organised, the podcast that helps you simplify your life and amplify your purpose. I'm Mel Schenker, life coach, speaker, founder of She's Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little kids. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly juggling everything but never quite catching up, this is the place for you. Here we go beyond just the tidying up and creating systems. We're talking about real life strategies that bring order to your life, but also we talk about the things beyond the organising, the things that really matter, like your parenting relationships and so much more. So grab your coffee and let's dive in.
Welcome back to another episodeof Beyond Organised.
(01:02):
I have Kendall Concini here.
She is a mum, but also a recentauthor.
She has helped a lot of peoplein many different ways, and I am
going to let her do the rest ofthe talking on this one.
As you can probably tell, myvoice isn't going to hold up
much longer.
So welcome, Kendall.
Welcome to the show.
Kendall (01:21):
Yes, it was great chatting with you before this
and getting to kind of share alot of those experiences.
My background is in programdevelopment and it's taken me to
a lot of different nonprofit,profit, charter schools,
education, hospitals.
And so I've had the opportunityto, you know, as you do, life
coaching.
So program coaching and helpingpeople to do person-centered
(01:45):
approaches.
So with that being my careerfor so long, I've embraced that
in everyday life of just helpingto understand people better.
And it has helped me be I'm areally big mental health
advocate.
So I've taken that into myparenting, and that's where my
author journey sort of camefrom.
(02:07):
Oh, I love that.
Mel (02:08):
And I've been following you on Instagram, and you've got
the Cloudy Day Chronicles.
I would love to hear more aboutthat, and I'm sure the
listeners would too.
Kendall (02:18):
Yeah, so it started with um, and I've a lot of
people know this, but I do lovekind of saying it because it
seemed taboo to talk aboutstruggling and parenting.
Um you're supposed to just haveyour kids and glow the entire
time.
Smile.
Um and I did not.
I it took me a while to comearound to having the idea of
(02:39):
children because I struggledwith mental health and finding
my inner strength to say it'sokay for me to exist in the
world and reproduce.
And so when my husband and Ihad children, you know, I went
through my normal depression,then I went through PPD.
And when my daughter's kind ofmemory and language took off, I
(03:02):
needed a way to talk to herabout it.
That mom wasn't crying becausesomething she did was something
else, but not dumping that onher from my now, I want to
parentified child.
Yeah.
We started with she's a waterbaby, she loves everything
water, swimming, playing insplash beds.
Sounds like my daughter.
Yes.
I am not the water parent.
(03:25):
I not enjoy it.
It is like a where's your dad?
We use the analogy of a cloud.
So we would say, you know,we're at the beach and you love
it.
Mom doesn't love it.
So I have a little cloudy dayover here.
And that sort of resonated.
And it took to then if I washaving a really hard day,
(03:46):
telling her, like, my cloud'sjust here, um, and explaining my
emotions to her through it.
And so the cloudy daychronicles came from having
those conversations, admittingto people, like, I just this is
what's going on today, and Idon't want to hide behind it and
kind of feel shame about notbeing able to just smile.
(04:07):
Um, and so then I decided inabout really bad like health
stuff, I'm gonna distract myselfby actually writing that book I
said I was always going to do.
So um my daughter Alma and I westarted with a rhyming version
and we were rhyming back andforth, and then it developed
(04:29):
into a bigger children's picturebook, and now we're working on
publishing it around January of2026.
So exciting.
So you actually did it withyour daughter.
I did.
There was a few hard parts.
Um, I did go to traditionalpublishing querying to begin.
Uh, and just that control, itwas so hard to be asked to cut
(04:55):
some parts that were like theheartbeat of the story, or just
the idea of talking to children.
So, like almost four, and shehelped me make the book and
hearing like, well, you have tocut it because that's too many
words.
I'm like, she wrote the word.
Yeah, and it's to relate to thechildren.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And some like tags she used.
So at one point we had likeproclaimed, and I remember
(05:18):
because it was the day shelearned it, she was so excited,
and she'd be like, I proclaimthis.
And they're like, You can't usethat word for kids.
I'm like, Yes, you can, if ifyou want them to be smarter.
Yeah.
So I ended up going umself-publishing because it was
just you know kind of a littledifferent.
And and so I've had the I founda fantastic illustrator.
(05:41):
What she is gonna do like blowsmy mind.
I don't even want to like, Idon't take credit for the whole
book.
She she's shading and she isthe way she created the cloud as
a character and it takesdifferent shapes and stuff.
It's just been an incredible tolike see it transformed.
Mel (05:59):
Bring it to life, yeah.
And that is so cool.
And I love I love that yousooner got rid of your publisher
than change all the things thatyour daughter did.
Like, because at the end of theday, it's not just about making
a book for money, right?
It's the experience with yourdaughter.
Like, how many kids can saythey wrote a book with their
(06:19):
mum?
And at that age, that's reallycool.
I'm I can't wait for this bookto get out.
I want to have a look at it.
Um, that is so good.
What do you think is sort ofthe main thing that people
experience?
Kendall (06:33):
I'm writing the book and I'm doing like the Crani Day
Chronicles because I couldn'tfind it.
So I was going through thedepression and parenting, and I
tried really hard to findsomething to talk to her about
it, not in a let's go sit in atherapist's office way.
And when I couldn't find it, Ihad started using my own kind of
(06:57):
story to tell her.
And part of it was I felt anintense shame.
Like in traditional publishing,when people are declining the
book and saying it's not a fitfor me, what they're saying is
like, well, this isn't massmarketable.
I can't connect to this.
We just want something happier.
And I and I sit and I think,like, I wish I can do that.
(07:18):
I wish I can just give my kidsan only happy story.
But I also don't want them toyes, and and for a while that
stopped me.
That's what stopped me fromwanting to have kids.
But it got to a point where I'mlike, I want to feel all my
feelings and also enjoy thesunny days with my kids.
(07:39):
So maybe mom has a cloudy dayevery now and then, but I have
to remind myself, and one of thebig lines from the book is
clouds don't last forever.
And so the idea that we canfeel that, we can have that
emotion, we can process it.
We can tell kids is it existsbecause it does.
And then we can tell them howto enjoy the other days.
(08:01):
And if we wait until what themarket thinks is we can't have
that conversation until she's inher tens and she's in her 16,
she's 18.
It is.
And you know, you look at whatthey're doing in school, that is
the easier stuff.
So they're starting languagesin school.
We used to start at what highschool.
Now languages are in elementaryschool.
(08:23):
They have music.
It used to be you get yourinstrument in ninth grade, now
you get it earlier.
I'm like, but we're not doingthat for mental health.
And the way the world is now,we need it earlier more than
ever.
Mel (08:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I I think what you're doing isbrave because even though I
think the world is so much moreaccepting now of where people
are at with their mental health,there is still so much that I
think we still get told toalmost keep it quiet from the
kids, protect them from it, keepit separate, don't put adult
(08:58):
issues onto children.
But we're not exactly talkingabout the fact that kids are so
smart, they pick up on everyemotion, everything.
And if we're going aroundtelling them that feeling sad or
feeling angry or scared or allthese things are bad, then
(09:18):
what's that really teachingthem?
That's teaching them to go, I'mfeeling those things, I'm not
allowed to feel those things,there's something wrong with me,
or I can't talk to anyone aboutthis because I don't want to
get in trouble.
Like there's just all those, itthe knock-on effect is huge.
And I think what you're doingin just breaking that cycle and
just going, there is a way tohave a healthy conversation
(09:42):
about this.
We're not fixating on it, butwe are talking about it.
And if anything, doesn't thatjust make your sunny days all
the more sunnier?
Kendall (09:53):
That's a big part of the book, is I wrote it in a way
that the kids aren't expectedto cheer mom up.
So it's not, and that andthat's sort of what I did grow
up with.
I grew up with when when oneperson was sad, my dad would go,
go, you know, cheer up yourmom.
Yeah.
Yep.
And it's not theirresponsibility.
So a big part of the book wasthe kids see mom sad and mom
(10:15):
says, go play.
I'm just gonna sit and I'mgonna join you when I'm ready.
And the kids accept that andthey say, Okay, when you're
ready, mom.
And so part of it is just theycan recognize the emotion.
They do invite her to dothings, but they invite her to
do it her way.
So they want to play in thesand.
They say, Mom, you lay down,we'll put sand on top of you.
And so it's the idea that ifemotions happen, you don't have
(10:39):
to solve them, you don't have totell mom to go home.
You just let someone come theway they need to be there.
And so a big part of that, Ithink, is where mental health
needs to be more accepting.
You know, I can get into thethroes of like jobs and the nine
to five and like eight.
It's just there's no, you know,back in the day you get smoke
(11:03):
breaks.
There's no mental health break.
There's no, I need a second tostep away from all of these
emails and be over here, or Ineed to, you know, teleworks
kind of a thing, but there's nota can I telework today because
the world's a lot and I'm gonnaget my job done, but can I get
it done in the space that Ineed?
And that is a goal of teaching,like holding space for someone
(11:26):
and learning how to supportthem.
And so I'm trying, and the backof the book is what I'm most
excited about because we havelike discussion questions to
kind of spark that.
Um, and we have some resourcesfrom I have a merriment maker,
and she has like a 30 days ofjoy challenge we've put in
there.
And so the idea is just amentality shift to say, here's
(11:50):
how to react to people withemotions.
And so, yes, the book is abouta family and mom, but it could
be it just any loved onelearning to recognize emotions
in others and let them feelthose feelings.
Mel (12:05):
Yeah.
But I'm just thinking like howwell adjusted your daughter will
be when she goes into herteenage years.
Well, I remember being ateenager.
Well, we're certainly hoping,right?
But like I remember being ateenager and I mean a girl for
starters, there's already a lotof emotions to deal with and
everything.
But if she's learning thesefoundational human behaviors and
(12:31):
emotions and feelings and thatat this age, she's gonna be so
emotionally mature when herfriends are going through stuff,
when she's going through stuffand all of that, and actually be
able to process it healthier.
She might still have hermoments where she's gonna learn
and all of that too.
But I I I would think as a mum,I would feel like I've done the
(12:59):
absolute best I can to prepareher for the world ahead because
we don't want to shelter themfrom it.
They're they're part of it, butit's just equipping them and
not scaring them.
And I just I love your messageand I think it's hard as a
parent myself.
I kind of don't know when tobring things up or what to say,
(13:22):
because there are people in inmy life and close to my children
who do have uh variousdisabilities that are not
physical but neurological, thathave depression, all of those
kind of things.
And I kind of don't know how totalk about it.
And it's not that I'm trying toavoid it or I'm saying that
(13:43):
it's bad.
I kind of just don't know howto bring it up in a healthy way.
And I think you have donesomething that so many of us
just have struggled to do andstruggled to find.
And because you're certainlynot the only woman that's
experienced depression and andas a mum as well, there are
(14:03):
millions, millions, and but itdoesn't mean you don't want to
be a mum, that you don't want tobe here, that there's all these
things that it's so complex.
But the way that you have justbrought it down into something
that's just so digestible, evenfor adults that maybe can't even
comprehend properly, I thinkwhat you're doing can seriously
(14:26):
impact a lot of lives.
And I'm very humbled to haveyou on this show because I think
what you're doing is gonna takeoff.
Kendall (14:35):
I need to like put the asterisk too though.
I think there needs to be avulnerability for people to also
say, like, I'm not that good atit.
So we have like my daughter hasthis emotional awareness, and
sometimes it does backfirebecause I have shared the story
before.
She now identified that heremotions are a tornado.
(14:55):
So she is a four-year-old.
We are looking at how kind ofadvanced her language and her
memory and stuff are.
So, you know, they don't kindof do the neurological testing,
but she's very ahead.
And with that comes she stillhas the raging emotions of a
four-year-old.
So we have a lot of meltdowns.
(15:16):
Right now, it's actually been avery hard month because she
won't sleep.
Like she just doesn't like it.
And it her mind just keepsgoing.
So she has a lot of emotionsand she will scream and say,
This is my tornado, and it's afour-year-old meltdown, but she
(15:37):
has that awareness.
Yeah.
And so and that's kind of thepositive part, is me knowing,
like, okay, I snapped at her inthat moment because I'm not
great keeping my cool when shehas been screaming for, you
know, from two A.
Two and everyone else.
No judgment here.
But but the idea is because ofwhat we've been able to talk
(16:02):
about, I am able to prompt herin that moment.
And I will tell her, like,Alma, if I have to come back in
here, I'm probably coming inwith a storm cloud because I'm
not gonna be happy.
And so she can know then thathappy mom is coming back
stressed because this is stillgoing on.
And so when we had that roughnight, the next morning we're on
(16:24):
our way to school, and she hitme with like the teenage angst
of like, I wish I had a housethat didn't yell.
And I was like, Well, why did Iyell?
And she goes, Well, I didn'tput my shoes on and you got a
stormy cloud.
And I was like, Yes, and whatcould I have done differently?
And she's like, Well, I couldhave gotten my shoes.
And I said, Okay, but you had atornado and you were
(16:46):
everywhere.
And so it was kind of usingwhat we identify to break the
cycle that my family hadn't,because the answer was, I'm your
parent.
I told you to do this, youshould have done it.
And I'm like, Well, I had somany emotions.
Why aren't mine valid?
And so part of it is I'm notgood at this.
(17:06):
I don't have like thetherapist's name on the back on
some days, but it's being ableto be vulnerable and telling
her, hey, mom screwed up becausethis is what was going on in my
and what are you feeling too?
And then recognizing hertornado and saying, okay, let's
talk that through because you'renot just losing your mind, you
(17:30):
are finding your voice to say, Iam experiencing something
bigger than just I'm tired.
It's a lot of processing.
Mel (17:39):
That in itself is huge.
And yeah, don't get me wrong,I'm not saying that your
daughter's not gonna have a badday.
She's still a typical child.
Um, but it's more that you'veequipped her with a language to
be able to express that.
But you're giving her the spaceas well to express it because
yes, the the generation of ourparents, it was very much just
(18:04):
do as I say, and no buts, noexcuses, just do it.
And they they meant well, butthey also did not know how to
handle us as kids and all ofthat.
I I get that, especially beinga mom now myself.
Totally respect my parents andI love them.
But I also I want to have thathealthy balance of them not
(18:28):
necessarily questioningeverything I do, but when there
is that thing that we need totalk about, that we can talk it
through.
As I was saying, you you'vecreated this language that I
love and I want to adopt into myfamily to be able to help with
those difficult conversationsthat I just haven't known how to
(18:51):
address before.
So thank you for being able togive me the language to then
help my children express that aswell.
Kendall (19:00):
You know, I think it started way back when I was in
therapy.
My therapist described myemotions like a wave.
And it was, you know, the wavesare going and you can play in
them, but you can also feel theundertow.
And for a while that madesense.
But when I was working on it, Iwas like, it's not a wave
because waves are like in oneplace.
And so the cloud made moresense to me because I did like
(19:24):
my personal cloud research, butdon't ask me any of the like
exact names, not that into them.
That's okay.
That's okay.
It was fascinating to like thedifferent environments clouds
show up in, the different waysthey show up, and the sunny ones
and the you know dark ones, andand so saying that that is how
(19:45):
your emotions can show up toojust kind of clicked with me,
and it was an easier way to talkto them.
And then, yes, like my daughterwants a tornado.
My son's only two, and he'slike new to his language, so he
wants a rock, which isn't likethe best analogy, but he does
just lay down, he gets in thislittle like rock pose, and he's
(20:06):
just like, and I'm like, I'mgonna go.
Oh, bless him.
Oh, that is so adorable.
That's kind of part of the hopeis you know, he has that's the
emotions of a two-year-oldthough, where they like pout and
sit.
And I'm like, okay, I'll seeyou in a couple of minutes.
And you know what?
Mel (20:24):
They can be stubborn.
I say that word lightly, as arock sometimes.
I'm not budging.
I know what I'm talking about.
I've been here two whole years.
Oh man, that is so good.
So, what is one thing that youwould love every mom out there
to know who is perhapsstruggling with depression,
(20:47):
whether it's postpartum orsomething that they've been
dealing with for years?
What's something that you wouldlove the mums out there to
know?
Kendall (20:53):
So it's sort of a spoiler from the book too, but
the quote, it's okay to not beokay, like that's the biggest
one.
I think moms, we think, and wedo, we think we have to sit in
it 24-7, and we do sit in it24-7 because we have that
extreme guilt to walk away.
And a big piece of it wasrecognizing that the cloud is a
(21:17):
part of me.
It's not all of me.
And some days it's gonna feellike it's all of me, but it's
not who I am, and having a badday doesn't define your entirety
of motherhood.
And what I have been able to dofrom recognizing that is giving
myself permission to know thata cloud is kind of rolling in.
(21:39):
And so if we are going throughsomething hard at home, I will,
as much as it gives me the momguilt, I'll tell my daughter,
like, if this doesn't stop, momneeds to walk away for five
seconds and come back.
And I will like leave astressful room or I am very
triggered because she wentthrough like colic phase.
So the crying is just like DDemotion.
(22:01):
I know that.
Yeah.
And so now if she starts again,I say I was like, mom can't
take this.
I need to come back when thisis quieter.
And so it's being able to justsay that.
And it's not that suddenly mydaughter's never gonna love me
because mom walked away in achaos.
And it's just it's hard becausethe mom guilt is deep.
(22:24):
But recognizing that it is okayto tell someone I need to step
away from this for a minutebecause the mom that stays in it
24-7 is strong, but not asstrong as the one who walked
away and came back with a littlereset.
Yeah, regret.
Yes.
And so that's been somethingthrough this book I've been able
(22:46):
to do because once we reallytook to like, we have a cloud
pillow too.
And so if we are really kind oflike in this rut, I can go grab
it and just say, all right,like we need to stop for a
second.
And we are able to recognizethat visually, and now with her
kind of learning more language,we're able to talk it through.
Mel (23:09):
So good.
Oh, that is so good.
So I hate to wrap this up, butwhat is the best way for people
out there to find you?
Kendall (23:20):
So I am on Instagram at Cloudy Day Chronicles.
Um, and then there's also alink to, I'm doing a blog post
that iscloudydaychronicles.wordpress.
And that is more about the kindof adult side of where I want
moms to read to resonate, whereI want parents to read and
resonate, and people to kind oftalk and see those days that are
(23:44):
here's what I went through, andit's still okay.
Like here, so I write the postabout the depth of it, and then
I put a happy photo of me andthe family because we went
through this, but here's the thehappy memories we took away.
Mel (23:57):
Yeah, that is so good.
Well, I'll make sure all theinformation is in the notes
there.
So just head to the descriptionand they can find that and get
in touch with you.
But thank you so much, Kendall,for coming on and sharing your
message.
I really appreciate it.
Kendall (24:14):
Yeah.
Mel (24:15):
If you like this episode, don't forget to hit subscribe so
you don't miss what's comingnext.
And if you want to continue theconversation, you can connect
with me on Instagram atis.organized.
Offer some free resources, headover to beocorganized.com slash
toolkit.
Remember, organizing is a toolto risk the perfect school life
beyond it.
See you next time.
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