Episode Transcript
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Mel (00:18):
Welcome to Beyond Organised
, the podcast that helps you
simplify your life and amplifyyour purpose.
I'm Mel Schenker, life coach,speaker, founder of She's
Organised, but, more importantly, a wife and mum of four little
kids.
If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly
juggling everything but neverquite catching up, this is the
place for you.
Here we go beyond just thetidying up and creating systems.
(00:42):
We're talking about real lifestrategies that bring order to
your life, but also we talkabout the things beyond the
organising, the things thatreally matter, like your
parenting relationships and somuch more.
So grab your coffee and let'sdive in.
Thank you to everyone who hasreached out recently asking how
(01:04):
I am.
I am doing better, Thank you.
I am starting to get my energylevels back, which is good
because I'm sort of heading intothat next season of my life.
Things are starting to ramp upnow, more so with my business.
I'm taking on more clients andI'm also back to work with my
(01:28):
nine to five job in like twoweeks.
So things are really changing,and also I've got a bit of a
road ahead of me with my dadwith his health issues and
helping with that where I can.
So it is important that I geton top of my health and at least
it was pretty much fixable.
(01:50):
So I am starting to feel betterand it'll still take a little
while, but I'm so much betterthan what I was not even two
weeks ago.
So thank you.
Thank you for your concerns.
I really do appreciate it.
It's nice to know that evencomplete strangers are listening
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in now and concerned, so I doappreciate it.
So thank you.
Now, with today, I wanted totalk about motivation.
So, for those of you that don'tknow, I have got a community, a
coaching community.
I call it the She's OrganisedHub, so She's Organised in my
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business and this is a placethat I was charging for.
I've kind of opened it for free.
At the moment.
I do apologize if you'relistening to this a few months
from now or years from now, andit's not free anymore, but as of
recording this, it is stillfree.
So I have opened it up and I'vehad a lot of amazing women
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coming through already in thelast week since doing so, and
one of the key things that I'mseeing is motivation or lack
thereof Women needing help withgetting motivated to organise
their homes or get on top oftheir schedules and things like
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that.
So I thought I would actuallytalk about it today, because I
kept seeing all of these and Ikept thinking, oh, I don't know
if I can really talk on that.
I straight away went thinkingto my health and fitness and all
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of that and how that's beenquite a struggle for me, that's
been a weak point for me in mylife and motivation has not been
there for that, and so thatstraight away popped into my
head and I just thought, well,I'm probably not the best person
to be talking about motivation,but then I really kind of
stepped back for a second when,well, hang on a second.
(03:59):
When it comes to organizing thething that I'm actually the
expert in, when it comes toorganizing the thing that I'm
actually the expert in, Ihaven't relied on motivation for
years.
I have not been motivated foryears, but that doesn't mean I
haven't got anything done.
I just haven't relied on it.
I haven't waited for it tohappen to then do something.
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So this was actually quite aninteresting one, coming around
and putting this one togetherand actually going through the
process myself of working outwell, what do I do when it comes
to this, so then I can actuallyhelp you and help those that
I'm serving, because I amgetting quite a number of you
coming through now and quite afew of you that I'll be working
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one-on-one with that it'simportant that I actually know
how to articulate what it is I'mdoing to be able to serve you
better.
So, with talking aboutmotivation, I wanted to come at
it from an angle that isobviously suited more to my
(05:06):
audience.
With the overwhelmed, exhaustedmums, now, it's okay if that
isn't your category maybe not amum or anything like that and
that's fine, but these tips thatI'm going to talk about in here
really can work for anyone.
That I'm going to talk about inhere really can work for anyone
(05:32):
.
So the main point I kind ofwant to get across is motivation
is overrated, and I feel likeI'm going to walk away from this
episode with a lot of takeawaysthat I can apply for my own
health and fitness stuff here,so I find that so many of us we
wait for it.
It's unreliable, though,especially when it comes to
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things like being motivated toget on top of our home.
Now, this can be applied to alot of different areas of
organising in a life, but I wantto approach it more from a home
angle today, just because Iknow that's kind of where it
starts for a lot of people.
(06:16):
So when I was breaking it down,I realized I haven't even
really written a to-do list likea proper lengthy to-do list in
years.
Now why is that?
It's because I've got routines.
I've got rhythms and routinesthat I fall back on every day,
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that it's become so ingrained inme that I don't need motivation
and, given my recent healthcrisis where I literally had no
energy, I was so, so exhaustedand could barely move I still
got the most basic things done,like some washing and dishes and
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things like that.
I still got those things done,just because it was such a habit
that I almost don't know how tolive differently.
Now that doesn't mean that Ican't go out for a night or away
for a weekend here or there,and I'm not like OCD, which I
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completely respect, can beanother whole layer dealing with
organizing and I have got somebackground in so I can help with
that too if that's somethingthat you're interested in.
But but having a level ofroutine to fall back on when the
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day is just crazy is actuallyreally critical.
It's really important.
So, when thinking about it, thereason why I think a lot of us
wait for motivation is becausewe kind of get told that's what
we need to do, like we see it onInstagram or whatever, and all
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these people are just thissudden like urge and motivation
and they go out there and theyjust do a big cull or whatever
it is, and it's like motivationis kind of a word that's
ingrained into our feelings, inthat we kind of need it to get
going in things.
And it's kind of the wrong wayaround.
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I believe that motivationfollows action.
So when we're overwhelmed, whenwe're exhausted, it keeps us
stuck because we don't have themotivation to do anything, and
then we think we're lazy.
But we're not lazy.
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We're dealing with a wholebombardment of mental clutter
and decision fatigue that youjust end up perpetuating this
cycle that you just can't breakout of.
So I wanted to give three simpletips on things that I've done
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to help me.
So, apart from anchoring thingstogether.
So I know after dinner my kidsnow help with cleaning up a bit
and sorting that out.
But I stack the dishwasher.
I like things stacked aparticular way.
I'm sure there's plenty of youout there that like that done a
certain way too, because I knowI can get that thing full and
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everything will clean in there,whereas my husband has a
fantastic gift of being able tofill the dishwasher with three
items.
It's quite a skill.
So I like to stack thedishwasher, but I do that after
dinner and I just sort of wipedown the benches and everything.
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And I get all that done at thetime before I sit down and might
have a break for myself for thenight or get into some more
work or anything like that.
So doing those kind of thingsagain and again doesn't really
require much mental energybecause it becomes a habit.
So these three things, I find,will help you create a bit more
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awareness but also start to forma habit that you might be able
to sustain long-term.
So the first thing that I wantto mention is to start tiny.
Now I know you hear a lot ofpeople say do 15 minutes a day
with decluttering or somethingand you'll get on top of it in
(10:40):
no time and it becomesmanageable and all that, and I
completely agree.
I think 15 minutes is a goodblock.
But when you are so overwhelmedand you're not motivated and
you just want to sit down andwatch some TV or something at
the end of the day and just kindof check out.
15 minutes is still notreasonable when you're kind of
(11:06):
paralyzed.
So when I mean start tiny, Imean tiny, tiny, I'm talking two
minutes.
So set a timer.
When I first started doing this,I would set a timer for two
minutes and see what I could getdone in that time.
So could I quickly clear thebenches in that time, could I
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focus on one particular messyspot in the corner that I could
get on top of, could I plan outmy schedule for the next day or
anything, set my priorities.
Whatever it is, I'll just spendtwo minutes, just two minutes,
on doing something.
And then that way I felt like Iachieved something and it was
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quick enough that it didn'tdrain me.
But then that way I had a planor a task was done, and it's
amazing what you can actuallyget done in two minutes.
And especially when you've gota timer, you kind of move a
little quicker because you'relike, oh, hang on.
No, I really want to get thisdone, I really want to get this
done.
And sometimes you know thetimer goes off and you're like,
oh, let me just finish this.
And that's fine too.
(12:11):
But I find if you can just settwo minutes, then that way you
actually get something done.
And if you need to sit down andif you need to sit down you
need to take a break becauseyou've literally been non-stop
since you woke up in the morningthen that's fine, do that.
And this two minutes doesn'thave to be at a certain time in
the day.
You could do it at differenttimes of the day.
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You could do a two-minute thingone morning because you're like
oh actually I've got a fewminutes spare.
All right, set a timer, I'llget this done.
But the next morning you mightnot have that, but you could do
it at night.
You find what works for you.
I started off doing things atnight.
That was easier for me, sort ofafter dinner time, just being
(12:52):
able to get something done,because I would go through the
whole day and then I'd be likewhat have I achieved today?
Yes, I went to work or I lookedafter the kids they're alive,
that's great.
But what did I achieve today?
So I found that nighttime wasgood because then that way it
was still fresh in my mind whenI went to bed.
Okay, I did something.
And then before long two minutes, I mean I could load the
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washing machine, I could loadthe dryer, I could sort out some
other washing.
I could get a little bit donewhen it comes to the washing in
two minutes.
I could sort out some otherwashing.
I could get a little bit donewhen it comes to the washing in
two minutes.
I could stack a dishwasher forthe most part, most of it in two
minutes.
You think in your head it'sgoing to take you 15 minutes.
It actually doesn't need totake that long.
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I mean, maybe when you'restarting out it takes a little
bit longer.
But if you're stacking thedishwasher every day and you
know what bowl fits where andwhat cup goes where, it actually
doesn't need to take you toolong.
So all these little things youcan start getting done.
And you know what, if thattimer goes off and you're not
done and you do need that breakand you need to walk away, then
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walk away, walk away.
And if it still bothers youlater on, finish it off later on
.
But just set two minutes Now.
The second thing is automatewhere you can.
So that might be meal preppingon a Sunday.
You know, cooking up a bunch ofmeals on a Sunday that you
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freeze and you can pull outduring the week so you don't
have to be cooking after a longday of work.
As an example, there's manydifferent ways you can do meal
prep and things like that.
Instead of setting laundry days, do like laundry mornings or
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moments.
So automate where you can assuch.
That for me, is automatic.
Yes, I'm doing it.
There's not a robot doing itfor me or anything, but it is so
normal that when I've got up,get ready in the morning, I've
got my baby fed, all of thatBefore we go out the door, I
literally put on the next loadof washing.
(15:03):
I could go in, put the load on,drop them all off at school.
Whatever I need to do, Ihaven't even thought about it.
It is so automatic, just likedriving a car or something.
For me, it's just what I do.
So find a way to automatesomething, even if it's paying
bills, setting up direct debits,all of that those kind of
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things that remove having tomake a decision like, oh, hang
on, we're running out of cleanclothes or we need to get some
more washing done.
When you don't have that sortof routine in place, the washing
becomes a heavy load, literally.
It becomes a heavy load thatweighs on you.
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So it's important to createthose routines to help automate
things, take things off yourmind.
Third one this is probably a bitof a unique thing, but I don't
know about you, but when I havehad a to-do list like maybe
something that isn't quite asregular and I've gone through, I
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then like get my list and Iwrite down all the stuff I've
already done, just so I can tickit off because it feels so good
and I feel like I've donesomething.
Well, for the most part, Idon't really have a list anymore
, so I don't even really do that.
But today, for example, beforerecording this podcast, I had a
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bunch of stuff I had to get donein the morning and I knew I
needed to do this today becausethe kids are at daycare and at
school.
I've got this limited time, butI had that feeling, just had
that feeling.
I was going to get a phone callto pick up, you know, one of my
kids any of them becausesomething was going to, you know
, and that happened,unfortunately.
So before I even got a chanceto do this podcast, I had to
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pick up my baby because hewasn't feeling too well, and
that was a bit annoying, to behonest.
I'm like I still didn't get itdone.
And by this stage it wasafternoon and I said to myself
out loud I'm like, oh, but I gotnothing done.
But then as I was driving there, I sort of ran through that
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list in my head and went well,actually, I showered for
starters, which has been a bithard to do the last few days
with the kids and that hangingoff me.
I reset the whole house, whichalso had been a little bit more
difficult the last few days withthe kids around.
I got on a client call.
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I also did the church-basedcourse.
I jumped on that call thismorning.
That was an hour.
I did that.
I actually got a lot done thismorning, plus the washing,
dishwasher, all that kind ofstuff.
All of that got done thismorning.
And yet in my mind I thought Igot nothing done because I
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didn't do the podcast.
So sometimes we can get sofixated on that one thing that
we really wanted to do and itjust didn't quite happen that
priority, you know but then whenwe actually look back on all
the other things that we did getdone, then you can actually go.
Well, hang on a second.
That's not true, like that'sactually a lie really, that I'm
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telling myself that I gotnothing done, when actually I
got a lot done.
Unfortunately, none of themwere the main priority, and I do
talk about sort of having yourmain priorities for the day.
All these other things werekind of that little filling
tasks, but they needed to getdone too.
I mean, I had to shower.
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I really had to shower.
I wasn't going to be able tofunction properly and get all
this done if I didn't shower.
So it's necessary, but itwasn't necessarily the priority
that I had planned.
Sometimes that happens and lifehappens and we don't get the
things done.
We want to get done, but whenyou can actually take note or
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write down the things that youdid actually achieve, sometimes
we can rewrite the lies we tellourselves.
So three things, two minutes,set a timer, automate where you
can.
So what things in your life canbe made into routines and make
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a list of the things you havedone.
Don't do a to-do list Well, youcan if you want, but do a done
list and then you can actuallysee and that might help motivate
you to go.
Actually, I do achieve a lot inmy day, even though it felt
like I did nothing.
It's just because that wasn'tat the forefront of my focus.
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So do those three things andyou might actually start to see
a little bit of a shift in yourmindset as well.
It can help build a little bitof motivation, but it also kind
of overrides it in some ways andcreates things that are a bit
more action-based and justsystematic rather than
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feeling-based.
So that's sort of it.
Now.
I did mention before that she'sorganized Hub.
Now if you're listening to this, within a week or two perhaps
of this coming out, then I havegot it for free at the moment
(20:30):
and you're more than welcome tojoin.
I've got group coaching inthere.
I've got mini courses,templates, resources.
It's got a community of otherwomen that are also on a journey
to get more organized.
It's a great space that Inormally charge for.
So if you want in, you can headto the beyondorganizedcom slash
(20:55):
toolkit and the details are inthere.
But also for some of you youreally just want to have a
little bit more one-on-one time.
You're actually like Mel.
This is something that I need.
I've been relying on motivationtoo much, not getting anywhere.
I need a little bit more helpin creating some of these
(21:18):
routines and systems.
That is just right for me.
If that's you, then in thedescription I'll pop in a link
where you can actually hop on acall with me for 60 minutes
completely free.
I've got a life organizingstrategy session where we'll
create a plan to get you startedand actually moving forward and
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not relying on the motivationget you unstuck.
So if that's you, head to thedescription Link will be in
there.
Just fill out the form withsome details and background to
really maximize the time that wehave together and then we'll
jump on a call and get you goingNow.
It is possible my calendar mightfill up pretty quick because I
(22:03):
have got quite a number ofclients coming on board now and
so I am getting quite full.
But if there's availability I'dbe more than happy to get you
going as soon as possible.
But if not, please be patientand I will get you in as soon as
I possibly can.
But if you've got questions forme that you want to have
(22:27):
answered and you're not insidethe hub or anything, you're more
than welcome to have itanswered on the podcast.
So just head to beyondorganised.
com and all the details are onthere to be able to get your
questions answered and, yeah, Ilook forward to talking to you
and connecting with you nexttime.
(22:47):
Have a great week.
If you loved this episode,don't forget to hit subscribe so
you don't miss what's comingnext.
And if you want to continue theconversation, you can connect
with me on Instagram @shes.
organised, or, for some freeresources, head over to
beyondorganised.
com toolkit.
Remember, organising is a toolto live the purposeful life
(23:08):
beyond it.
See you next time.