Episode Transcript
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Mel (00:18):
Welcome to Beyond Organised
, the podcast that helps you
simplify your life and amplifyyour purpose.
I'm Mel Schenker, life coach,speaker, founder of She's
Organised and, more importantly,a wife and mom of four little
kids.
If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly
juggling everything but neverquite catching up, this is the
place for you.
Here we go beyond just thetidying up and creating systems.
(00:42):
We're talking about real lifestrategies that bring order to
your life, but also we talkabout the things beyond the
organising, the things thatreally matter, like your
parenting relationships and somuch more.
So grab your coffee and let'sdive in.
Today's episode, I wanted totalk about one that is popping
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up a lot more for me lately whenI'm talking to these amazing
women, and it's more to do withwhen you're organized at work
but you struggle with it at home.
So have you ever felt likeyou've got it all together at
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work?
You're on top of the emails,you meet the deadlines, you're
attending all the meetings, butthe moment you're walking
through the door it's chaos,like the washing's piling up
dinner's a disaster.
You feel like it even getaround to cooking it and just
suddenly all that organizedenergy just kind of disappears.
(01:48):
Well, I can tell you you're notalone.
It is happening to mumseverywhere, and this was me too
for a number of years,particularly when my first two
were little.
So today I wanted to unpacksort of why this happens a bit
and sort of how to bridge thatgap a bit, and a few things that
(02:10):
you could do to help in thisseason that you're in.
So, firstly, why is it thatyou're organised at work and
struggling at home?
And the big one is that at workthere's clear expectations.
You've got your deadlines,you've got your particular role
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that you are employed for.
You're getting paid for it.
So there is a certainexpectancy to deliver.
There's systems in place, butalso, generally, you're
accountable to someone.
Now you might even be the topperson, but you still have to be
(02:54):
showing up for your team.
It doesn't matter what type ofrole you're in.
You could be in an office,corporate role, you could be in
retail.
It could be in retail, it couldbe in hospitality, it could be
in the medical industry, itdoesn't really matter.
This is shown time and timeagain.
No matter what professionyou've got, everyone is
accountable to someone in theworkplace.
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But also, you've builtstructures.
You've got your calendarreminders, you've got your lists
what to do.
You've got certain workflows,systems, automations.
You've got a process At home,though, unless you have set it
up with particular systems,automations, workflows you're
(03:41):
accountable to someone.
Clothes you're accountable tosomeone.
You've got particular deadlinesor even roles.
Unless you have all thosethings at home, for most people
it's unstructured, it'sunpredictable.
The mental load is huge and noone is setting the schedule and
telling you what to do when itcomes to getting the laundry
(04:03):
done and the meals done and thehousework, let alone the kids'
homework and all the otherdemands and there's a lot of
demands.
I just listed a bunch of thephysical things, but there's the
emotional ones too.
Dealing with kids' emotions,your partner's emotions, your
own emotions it's a lot messier.
(04:24):
Emotions, your own emotionsit's a lot messier.
For quite a long time, actually,I was really beginning to
thrive at work, especially afterI had my first and I went back.
I actually realized just howmuch I needed that time for me.
I wasn't just mom anymore, Iwas Mel and it felt good and I
(04:47):
really started to improve andstep up more with work and I got
more responsibilities and movedup and I really enjoyed that
side of things and I had suchgreat mentors and great leaders
and they taught me so much.
I had this one absolutelylovely lady who was my leader
(05:07):
for a while and then I moved upto being a leader and she moved
up to different things, butshe'd always be there and check
in and she taught me about timeblocking and all this kind of
stuff that I now help people on.
But I didn't know that sixyears ago.
So there's a lot more structureat work but also a lot of the
(05:34):
time we're not necessarilydealing with as much emotions.
Now, don't get me wrong.
We are dealing with people.
There are emotions, there's alot of things, but I feel like
particularly well, particularlythe cultures I've been a part of
, as healthy as they are,there's still a level of
professionalism that you kind ofjust keep it to yourself.
(05:56):
Maybe it's an Aussie thing oran English thing or something I
don't know, but there's sort ofan expectancy that whatever
you're going through at home orin your personal life, you don't
bring it into work.
Now I have been a verydifferent kind of leader.
I want to know and be presentfor my team, not in a nosy,
(06:21):
intrusive way, but for them tofeel safe that if there are
dramas going on at home.
They could talk to me about itand then that would help me be a
more understanding boss inbeing able to cater for the
situation that they're in.
But work and home generallyvery different environments.
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Even when you're working fromhome, you still have certain
expectations and structures withwork as opposed to a lot of
people at home.
So I've come up with sort ofthree main ways that you can
transfer your work organizationto your home life.
So the first one is treat yourhome life like it deserves a
(07:06):
system, so don't just wing it.
You don't wing it at work, sostop winging it at home.
With all due respect, it'seasier when we're getting paid
to do it.
There's expectations from otherpeople and all of that.
But we need to actually carrysome of those skills that we've
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learned and apply it at home.
So some simple systems that youcould have at home is, you know
, around meal time, mealprepping, dinner times, maybe
delegating or pre-cooking upsome meals.
There's many differentstructures, but you maybe could
have a system around yourmealtime.
Maybe another system can bearound cleaning routines.
(07:49):
Maybe a particular day of theweek is a particular room that
you clean.
Again, so many systems.
You could have a family calendar.
I've got one.
I've got a magnetic one on thefridge that I write out every
month.
It's a really cool chalk markertype one.
(08:10):
I love it.
Anyway, I use that mainly.
I put on there for the know allthe different things that are
going on at school.
If I'm in the city for work fora day or whatever it's going on
, I have that down.
So it could just be creating asystem where you kind of just
know what everyone's doing andon what day.
And it helps because every nowand then when my husband needs
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to step in for something heknows, he can just check the
fridge.
If the kids aren't too sure andthey can read, they check the
fridge.
So it's creating a system athome, starting with the
particular pain points.
So if it's around organizingall the family commitments, then
do that calendar thing.
If it's around meal times,maybe it's just creating the
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lunches and stuff for the nextday for school, like for those
of you in Australia and othercountries where you've got to
provide the lunch for school.
Whatever it is, start with thething that irritates you the
most.
Create a system.
So that's the first thing.
The second thing is set somemicro deadlines for basic life
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admin.
So none of us like admin stuffmuch.
I mean, I love a goodspreadsheet, I don't mind doing
paperwork and that, but when itcomes to my own personal stuff
paying bills, all of that don'tlike it really.
So I've automated, got directdebits and things like that.
Where possible I do try to payfor a year up front with things
(09:42):
and therefore that's more of amanual process when that rolls
around.
But I then like to research onmy insurances and my utility
providers and all those kind ofthings.
And so maybe you pay your billson Tuesday afternoon or you
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still do bits of washingthroughout the week, but it kind
of piles up a little bit by theweekend.
Maybe Sunday night you justquickly go through, do a laundry
set, make sure everything's putaway starting off the new week,
or you can do what I do everynight before I go to bed.
What I do every night before Igo to bed I do a quick tidy of
the house.
It usually takes me about 20minutes to sort of get
everything back to square one.
(10:24):
It might take you longer ifyou're just getting started, but
I do a quick tidy up before Igo to bed.
So then, when I wake up in themorning it's fresh, ready to go.
Not going to hold me back orslow me down in the morning,
which mornings are absolutemadness in our house it doesn't
matter how organized you are.
When you've got four kids andthey've all got to get out the
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door by a certain time and theywant to sleep, you can have all
the systems in the world.
Unfortunately, that's somethingthat is just something you've
got to deal with in this season.
So, yeah, set some deadlines,just for life admin, just
knowing you've got to getcertain things done by certain
days and certain times, and juststick to that routine a little
(11:08):
bit, and then that will becomeautomatic as well.
And then the third one isschedule time for you.
So at work, you book inmeetings.
You have designated lunch times, though, granted, I know quite
a lot of you will still sit atyour desk and work, or you've
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got clients that are runningbehind and it eats into your
lunch time.
You know if you're ahairdresser or nail technician
or something, there's a lot thatcan happen, even at work.
But there are meant to be setdesignated times for breaks, for
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meetings, for all of that.
Do it at home too.
So on the days that I'm notworking from home like I'm not
working I will still have arough idea in my head as to when
lunchtime's going to be.
And if I'm not sort of caughtup on everything I need to do
and I'm still going, I willstill go.
(12:10):
Okay, look, it's about 12 30.
I said I was going to havelunch around here, a bit behind
in what I need to do, but I'mstill going to stop because I
need to have a break, I need tosit down because if I keep going
I'm going to get to a pointwhere my energy levels just
deplete so much and I don't wantto pass out or get snappy or
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whatever it is.
So it is important to manageyour wellbeing and I say it all
the time, like I say it almostevery week in looking out for
yourself.
And it is important becauseI've had quite a number of
people say to me they've tried alot of decluttering programs or
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a lot of time managementprograms and all that kind of
stuff.
But the thing that makes itdifferent with me is that I'm
not just focusing on one areaand neglecting the rest.
I really do come from theholistic perspective that.
Yes, okay, we're focusing onthe work pillar in this episode,
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but it's still connected withyour time, with your home, with
your money, your self-care.
It's all connected.
There is no complete isolationin dealing with one thing and
that's like with declutteringyeah, you could do the systems
and that, but if you don'taddress these other things,
you're going to fall back intoold ways eventually.
Well-being, self-care all ofthat is also critical because
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you don't necessarily realizeyou're doing it in a work
environment, because maybe it'sscheduled in for you, maybe
you're on a roster and all ofthat and you've got to do it.
But when it comes to home, wedon't think necessarily like
that all the time.
So, focus on creating a systemat home, having some deadlines
(14:03):
for things and scheduling intime for you to have a bit of a
break in between particulartasks.
It's actually essential.
It's not really an option.
Just like in a paying job, youcan't work an eight-hour shift
without a single break.
It's like illegal, pretty sure.
Anywhere in a first worldcountry it's not legal.
(14:27):
So, yeah, treat it like that.
Now, just because you'reorganized at work and you're not
at home.
Now, just because you'reorganized at work and you're not
at home doesn't mean thatyou're failing or you're doing a
terrible job or you're a fraudor an imposter, whatever it is
that potentially goes throughyour head, because I know for me
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for a while I thought I wasbroken in some ways.
How can I do this at work andbe so on top of things and my
team and everything's like awell-oiled machine that just
functions so well?
And then I come home and I'mjust struggling to even just
make the kids lunch and get themdown for naps or whatever it is
(15:11):
Like.
It's very different a lot ofthe time for a lot of us work
life and home life.
Even when you work from home,and a big part of it are the
things that I mentioned.
But if you feel like you'resomeone that needs help with
those rhythms and everything, Ihave got the she's Organized Hub
(15:34):
, which you're welcome to join,have group coaching, all that
kind of stuff to help with that.
But if you are needing to findsomething that works for you,
that bridges the gap with yourwork life and your home life, I
have got a free 60-minute lifeorganizing strategy session that
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you can hop on with me andwe'll create a plan for you to
get you started, to get yougoing and moving forward in
being able to balance, I guess,these two worlds a bit more
cohesively and help you running.
And look, you might even becompletely opposite.
You might actually be reallygood at home because of all the
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time and effort you've put inover the years learning these
things, but you still can'ttranslate it into your work life
.
I can definitely help with thattoo.
So, if that's you, the link isin the description, details are
there and I can get you started.
We can create a plan to get youmoving forward.
And, yeah, if you've got anyquestions or you need to know
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anything else, then just reachout and I'd be more than happy
to support you as you go throughthis, because, yeah, this is
something that keeps popping upa lot lately, that I'm seeing
but doesn't really get talkedabout enough.
So I hope you got something outof today's episode.
And also one thing that I don'ttalk about much if you do like
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what you're hearing on theseepisodes, tell your friends,
share it, leave a review.
When you leave reviews whetherit's through Apple Podcasts or
Spotify or wherever you'relistening to this from, because
I'm on all platforms when youleave a review, it does start to
show to more people, and themore people that come across
(17:26):
these, the more we're going tobe able to support each other
and work through this togetherand maybe start making a
difference.
So there's going to be moremums that are feeling less
overwhelmed.
Anyway, I look forward tospeaking to you next week.
(17:46):
If you loved this episode, don'tforget to hit subscribe so you
don't miss what's coming next.
And if you want to continue theconversation, you can connect
with me on Instagram at @shes.
organised or for some freeresources.
Head over to beyondorganised.
com/ toolkit.
Remember, organising is a toolto live the purposeful life
beyond it.
See you next time.