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April 27, 2025 18 mins

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Have you ever wondered why your organisational systems fall apart no matter how perfect they seem at first? The answer might lie not in your storage solutions or time management apps, but in your mindset.

The Vexanova Technique™ I share in this episode provides the missing piece in the organization puzzle. This powerful five-step framework (Recognise, Reveal, Replace, Rewrite and Reinforce) helps you identify and transform the limiting beliefs holding you back from lasting change. Whether you're constantly telling yourself "I don't have enough time" or "I'm just not organised enough," these thought patterns are likely sabotaging your efforts to create order.

I open up about my personal struggle with time management and how my unstructured childhood combined with society's glorification of maternal busyness created beliefs that kept me feeling constantly overwhelmed. By applying The Vexanova Technique™, I transformed not just my schedule but my entire relationship with time. The real breakthrough comes when we shift from a reactive mindset (putting out fires) to a proactive one (preventing them in the first place).

Perhaps surprisingly, I also address the dangers of over-organisation; a trap I fell into myself. Perfectionism can be just as destructive as disorganisation, damaging relationships and mental health when we refuse to accept anything less than flawless execution. The sweet spot lies somewhere in between, where organisation serves as a tool rather than a taskmaster.

Try this technique with whatever area has you feeling stuck and remember, your environment might not change overnight, but your mindset can and that makes all the difference. 

Connect with me on Instagram @shes.organised or grab free resources at beyondorganised.com/toolkit to continue your journey toward a more balanced, purposeful life.

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Remember, organising is a tool to live the purposeful life beyond it.

See you next time!

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mel (00:18):
Welcome to Beyond Organised , the podcast that helps you
simplify your life and amplifyyour purpose.
I'm Mel Schenker, life coach,speaker, founder of She's
Organised and, more importantly,a wife and mum of four little
kids.
If you've ever felt overwhelmed, like you're constantly
juggling everything but neverquite catching up, this is the
place for you.
Here we go beyond just thetidying up and creating systems.

(00:42):
We're talking about real-lifestrategies that bring order to
your life, but also we talkabout the things beyond the
organising, the things thatreally matter, like your
parenting relationships and somuch more.
So grab your coffee and let'sdive in.
WWelcome back to today's episode

(01:02):
.
Welco ba t today episo.
Today I want to just jumpstraight into it.
I want to actually go through alittle bit more strategy and
the practical side to themindset side of things.
So the last couple of episodeswe covered introduction to this

(01:23):
podcast and what it is.
Of episodes we coveredintroduction to this podcast and
what it is, as well as goingthrough The Baltrix Method and
the methodology that I use tohelp with order and balance
across the main areas of ourlife time, home, work, money,
self-care, all of that.
So, with the mindset side ofthings, honestly, if we don't

(01:45):
have our mindset in the rightspace.
All these other things aregreat and they can work, but
they may not last or it may notbe as effective or as efficient.
So it is really important thatyou understand your own beliefs
and your own mindset when itcomes to this and possibly

(02:09):
rewrite some of it.
So, with the mindset, I have atechnique that I call The
Vexanova Technique.
I will probably break down themeaning behind that at some
point in the future, but I thinkit's a really cool name, the
Vexanova technique.

(02:30):
Now there are five steps to itand, to keep it simple, it all
starts with an R.
So step one is recognise, steptwo, reveal.
Step three replace.
Step four rewrite.

(02:51):
And step five is reinforce.
So I'm going to go through them, break it down, give you some
examples and I'm going to use anexample of time for me,
something in my life, but youcan apply this to absolutely
anything.
I challenge you to findsomething that this doesn't work
for and if you do, let me know,because I am very keen to keep
learning and growing anddeveloping these tools to be

(03:14):
able to help you.
So recognise, that isidentifying what keeps you stuck
, so I always said I'm too busy,I don't have enough time.
I mean, how many of you canrelate to feeling like your time

(03:34):
is just being stolen from you,especially when you've got
little kids and you're workingand you're I don't know, you're
caring for sick parents orwhoever whatever Never enough
time, and especially when we'reliving in this 21st century
where everything is almostinstant.
So we feel the need to fill upevery second so time.

(04:00):
I always said I don't haveenough time, I'm too busy, and
every now and then, I catchmyself saying that and I have to
actually stop so recognize andidentify what's keeping you
stuck.
Now, the second one is reveal.
So that's understanding whythat exists.
Why does this belief actuallyexist?

(04:21):
Why do I think this way?
Now, it could actually be thatyou have filled up every second
of your day and you haven'tgiven yourself any breathing
space or downtime.
A lot of the time, though, ourbeliefs actually stem back to
our childhood, so a lot of ourbeliefs are formed by the time
we're eight years old and weactually need to think what was

(04:48):
it that shaped us?
Now, some of us grew up quiteprivileged two parents, good
education, safe environment, allof that but some of us grew up
with one parent or in the fostersystem, terrible education, a
really unsafe environment, abuse, you know, whatever it is.

(05:08):
We all had different beginningsand all of that shaped us into
what we believe.
So, when it comes to time, a bigpart of what shaped that for me
was there wasn't a lot ofstructure and routine growing up
.
My parents were good at it, butit was a very free kind of home

(05:29):
.
Yes, I still went to schoolevery day and did all of that,
but it wasn't really somethingtalked about or taught and I
didn't have set chores orroutines or structures or
systems or anything like that.
But then also, as I've gottenolder, a big part of the belief

(05:52):
of why I'm so busy is because itwas seen as like a badge of
honor being busy as a mom.
Have you found that that youfeel like you're achieving
something or you're accomplishedor you're validated because
you're busy?
Well, I will.

(06:13):
I will go into that a littlebit further in in other episodes
.
Um, because that was somethingthat I really struggled with for
a long time, but that was a bigpart of why I didn't have that
time structure so well.
Now the next part is replace.
So we need to shift that beliefinto something that actually

(06:36):
serves you.
Now, this is a conscious effort, this is a conscious decision
here.
Effort this is a consciousdecision here and a big part of
it is actually speaking thatlife into you, actually speaking
that positive.
I can do this, I can manage mytime, I am capable, I have got

(06:58):
the skills or I will learn them.
I will find that coach, I willfind the resources to be able to
help with that.
So replacing that belief, thatfalse belief, really with a
positive, new one is key.

(07:19):
You need to do that step, youneed to shift it and it needs to
be a conscious effort.
Now number four is rewrite.
So we now need to apply that.
We actually need to practicallystart acting on that new belief
.
So we created a schedule thatwe stick to and adapt and keep

(07:42):
it flexible.
You know, make it till you findwhat works for you.
We do something practicallythat reinforces, or sorry, that
rewrites that new belief intoour daily habits and then, very
closely linked, we move into thereinforced.

(08:03):
So that's something thatstrengthens the consistency of
it and we're constantly actingon it daily.
So we haven't just done it once, we're doing it again and again
and again and again process ofdoing the five R's.

(08:31):
The Vexanova technique is movingfrom a reactive mindset to a
proactive mindset.
So we want to go from thereactive that feeling
overwhelmed and that exhaustionand putting out fires to
actually moving into thatproactive mindset of actually
starting to believe I can dothis, this is possible for me

(08:52):
and I have the tools that I needto be able to make this succeed
.
Now to give you some examplesof, you know, a reactive belief
versus a proactive.
So know a reactive beliefversus a proactive.
So you know a reactive beliefmight be I've got nothing left

(09:18):
to give.
But a proactive one is rest isa requirement, not a reward.
I give myself permission torecharge.
And another one of time scarcity.
There's never enough time inthe day and we can say well, I
make time for what truly mattersand I'm in control of my
schedule.
Another one might be to do withyour self-worth and your

(09:38):
identity.
It could be I'm not good enoughand you say, like I'm just not
good enough.
But we speak that life and wesay I am created with purpose
and my worth is not measured bymy performance.
I think so often as mums, andbear with me.

(09:59):
If you're not a mum, apply thisto your situation.
But I know as mums, we put somuch of our worth into how we
perform and we compare ourselveswith Sally next door and with
Mary down the street and withJoe at Mother's Group.

(10:23):
We compare ourselves and it'snot a competition, it's not a
performance-based thing.
Every one of us is different.
Every one of us is unique andit's okay to be at a different

(10:43):
level and it's okay to have adifferent level of capacity
compared to the person next toyou, because they're not living
your life and the truth is theyprobably have secrets in their
closet that they're not showingyou the same as you are probably
doing the same with them.
So we don't always get the fullpicture.
Unless you are actually intheir life, living it every day

(11:06):
and seeing it, you can't reallyknow the full measure of where
someone's at anyway.
So it's pointless measuringourselves against other mums,
and I'm someone that reallycares, even now, what people
think.
So.
But a big part of that came incomparing myself and you know

(11:32):
where I'm at in my career or howI am as a mom, or even how many
kids I've got, whatever it is.
That was something I was reallystuck on.
But now I don't care.
I'm running my own race.
I still care enough about whatpeople think because, you know,
I I, I want the respect and allof that and I don't want to

(11:53):
create an image that is negativeor anything like that.
But at the same time, I alsodon't get caught up on what
people might say about me orthink about me that's negative,
because that's actually not myproblem, unless if I've done
something that, like,intentionally caused pain, which
I can't think for the life ofme of anything I have done.

(12:15):
But if I'm just being the bestversion of me that I can, I'm
running my own race.
I'm doing my best and someoneelse hates on me for it, it's
actually not my problem.
I'm doing my best and someoneelse hates on me for it, it's
actually not my problem, andmaybe there's one of you that
needs to hear that, becauseyou're taking on everyone else's

(12:35):
problems and making it your ownand making it a part of you
know your identity, and it's notso when it comes to our mind.
There's so much I can go into,but this is sort of the
foundational things that I willbe going off in the future in

(12:59):
the episodes.
This is what I I coach on, thisis what I teach on.
So, between the Bell tricksmethod and , these really are
the foundations to how I coachand how I help you be able to
achieve that more simple, morepurposeful life and going from

(13:22):
that disorganized or evenover-organized to a better
balance.
So I want to touch on that fora second.
So I know I talk a lot aboutbeing disorganized or, you know,
not having things in any order,not having no structure,
whatever that is.
But there's also going to besome of you and I fell into this

(13:48):
camp in more recent years ofbeing over-organized, so I went
too far the other way and thatis just as dangerous.
I can tell you now.
So it's one thing to bedisorganized and not having
learned the skills yet, but thenit's another thing to have
learned all the skills and goneso far the other way that

(14:09):
perfectionism is the only levelthat you're satisfied with, and
I can tell you now it'sdestructive, it will hurt you,
it will hurt the people you love, and I've lived it for so long.
I was stuck in that and it hurt.
It hurt me so and it hurt myfamily, because I couldn't be

(14:32):
satisfied with anything lessthan perfect.
You know, the house had to beperfect.
I had to show up on time tothings perfectly.
You know, if a meeting ran lateat work and I was, and I had
another one scheduled and it'ssort of back to back, I either
had to leave one early or I hadto go to the next one, obviously

(14:54):
weighing up what was moreimportant, but either way it was
out of my control.
But it still like put me inthis negative headspace because
it wasn't perfect.
We didn't get to finish the oneor we didn't get to start the
other one properly because I waslate and I just I had to let a

(15:15):
lot of that go.
I actually had to go throughand recognize and, you know,
reveal it, find out where thatcame from.
And okay, that went too far.
The other way, I had to replacethat and actually go progress.
And you know, achievingsomething is better than having
it perfect.

(15:35):
And I had to rewrite that, Ihad to apply it and it was
painful doing it again andreinforcing it again and again,
and again and again, but it goteasier.
It got easier as time went on.
So this can be used for whereverit is you're stuck.
Whatever it is that you'refeeling like is holding you back

(15:59):
from having that more balancedand peaceful life.
So I want to.
I'm going to leave it theretoday.
I didn't want this one to gotoo long because it is a little
bit more.
You know, content heavy, butI'm hoping that you can start to

(16:21):
look at where you're at in yourlife, start applying this
technique and going.
Actually, I am stuck in thisarea and it is because of X, y,
z, but I'm not going to be stuckthere anymore.
I am choosing to not be avictim.

(16:41):
I'm choosing to be a victor.
I'm going to beat this.
I am strong enough because I'vesurvived, whatever it is.
Start speaking life and you'llbe amazed at how your mind
starts to turn around and the.
You know you could still bestuck in the horrible job you

(17:04):
can still be stuck in.
You know the season you're inwith little kids or you know
teenagers that you can't get tolisten to you.
Whatever it is.
Your situation and yourenvironment around you might not
be able to change straight away, but your mind can change and
it will change absolutelyeverything.

(17:27):
So I encourage you to try thisexercise and let me know how you
go.
I would love to hear how thishas helped you.
Please send an email, reach outon my website.
All the details are in thedescription and I really look

(17:48):
forward to hearing how you go.
If you loved this episode,don't forget to hit subscribe so
you don't miss what's comingnext.
And if you want to continue theconversation, you can connect
with me on Instagram, at @shes.
organized.
organized, or, for some freeresources, head
beyondorganisedcom to S.
Slash toolkit.
organising Remember organizingis a tool to live the purposeful

(18:11):
life beyond it.
See you next time.
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