BTE4.17 Maintaining Work-Life Balance During the Summer with Lane Moss

Mailbag questions or topic suggestions? Text us!

How do we maintain spiritual, emotional, and relational health during our most demanding seasons? 

Lane Moss, Director of MOVE at Christ in Youth, opens up about the real challenges of summer ministry life when routines are regularly disrupted by constant travel. Lane draws an important distinction between routines (which often crumble under pressure) and rhythms (which can sustain us regardless of circumstances). 

"Bible before phone" becomes more than just a catchy phrase—it represents a portable spiritual anchor that works whether you're at home in your favorite chair or rushing between event venues. Lane shares practical wisdom about how to maintain connection with God when ideal circumstances aren't possible, including setting daily alarms as spiritual check-in points.

The conversation takes a particularly meaningful turn when discussing family relationships during travel-intensive seasons. Lane reveals that maintaining connection with his wife and children requires intentional strategies like brief phone calls during campus walks and personalized touchpoints with each child. Most refreshingly, he admits these approaches didn't emerge naturally but through difficult conversations—sometimes arguments—that ultimately strengthened his family's resilience.

Perhaps most valuable is Lane's perspective on authenticity in ministry leadership. "Nobody is served when we pretend to have it all together," he observes, noting how such pretense creates impossible standards for others while diminishing the visible work of Christ in our lives. This summer, as you navigate your own ministry challenges, may these insights help you maintain rhythms that sustain rather than deplete you.

What rhythms have helped you stay grounded during intense ministry seasons? Share your experiences in the CIY Community Facebook group, and join us when we return with new episodes in August.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think there might be like spare parts or something
in those bags.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Yeah, it's spare bits and bobs Spare bits and bobs.
And herbs Spare, herbs Spareherbs.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
My grandpa's name was Herb.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
What Look at us.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
We gotta grow more herbs.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
We gotta grow more herbs.
What kind of guy was he?
Chiropractor.
That actually was a sufficientanswer.
Normally, just saying whatsomebody's occupation was to the
question what kind of guy washe is not sufficient, but

(00:40):
chiropractor actually tells youa lot.
It tells you a lot.
Oh my goodness, what kind ofguy was he Chiropractor?

Speaker 1 (00:46):
actually tells you a lot.
It tells you a lot.
Oh my heavens.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
And he was like a chiropractor.
So, okay, the two differentchiropractors that I conjure in
my mind immediately are thecurrent chiropractor that I've
seen most recently, yeah, who islike this young kind of
charismatic.
He just kind of strikes you aslike a Mormon influencer, you

(01:08):
know kind of guy.
Yeah, right.
And then the other one was aguy in Muskogee and he did all
of his chiropractor work wearingjeans, with a tucked in black
t-shirt a NASCAR t-shirt.
It was a big NASCAR guy.
That's her.
It was NASCAR pictures all overthe world.
What was your grandfatherclosest to NASCAR t-shirt?
He was a big NASCAR guy.
That's her.
There was NASCAR pictures allover the wall.
What?

Speaker 1 (01:29):
was your grandfather closest to, I mean the NASCAR.
Yeah, not that he was a hugeNASCAR guy, but he definitely
was more of a mechanical thinker.
Yeah, apparently I don't knowif this is true, but I don't
think my mom is a liar.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
I've never thought of her that way.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Brad has met my mom two or three times not a liar.
Apparently my grandpa inventedhis own like odometer, before
odometers were like put intocars.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Really to tell him how far he's driven?
Yeah, but he like he just neverlike got a.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Before odometers were like put into cars Really To
tell him how far he's driven,yeah, but he like, he just never
like got a like he just didn'thave any of the right
connections, I guess, or had any, like he didn't try to patent
it or anything.
So Dang, imagine, how, imaginethe money I could have come from
.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, imagine Michael's generational wealth,
the generational wealth of ofbeing the heir to the odometer
empire.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
And instead I'm driving around missing a bumper.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
The heir to the odometer empire is crazy because
it's just like Tommy boy.
Can you imagine Tommy boy?

Speaker 2 (02:35):
but with pike hole yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, hi, I'm Brad Warren.
This is Beyond the Event, ayouth ministry podcast presented
by Christ in Youth, where wehelp you maintain momentum
between the mountaintops, andthose mountaintops are getting
very, very, very, very close.
And this is our last episode ofthis season of the podcast.

(03:00):
We're going to talk a littlebit about summer and what life
looks like when we're doing allkinds of crazy things and
running all over the place, andmy guest today to talk through
that, among other things, isnone other than the director of
Move, lane Moss Lane.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Welcome back, brad it is such a delight every time I
get to hang out with you and dothis.
Thanks for having me.
That's so kind.
Well, I'm in every word of it.
That's really nice.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
I'm in every word of it.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Lane, it's like almost summer.
Yeah, we have some crazy stuffgoing on.
Tomorrow is deadline day, soeverything has to be done.
Michael just gagged.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
I didn't gag, but I do have a cough.
I think that's the reason why,otherwise, I definitely would
have.
So if you hear me cough.
It's a guarantee almost at thispoint and I'm not going to try
and hide it.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Event staff get here so soon in a month?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, matter of weeks .

Speaker 3 (04:10):
And.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
I'm pumped, I am too, I am too.
Yeah, no, I I text Kelly, uh, acouple of weeks ago, and said
I'm sorry, kelly's my wife.
I know, yeah, my wonderful,wonderful wife Kelly.
She's great, she is absolutelywonderful.
And I texted her a couple ofweeks ago and just said okay,
I'm excited for the summer andI'm always excited for aspects
of the summer.

(04:32):
Sure, but to get excited to godo it like to, you know, there
are long days and they're likeweeks away from home and there
are all of these other things,and that you know.
I don't spend all year readyfor that, necessarily, you know.
But there, but there comes atime every year when you get
there and that hit just a coupleof weeks ago and I'm very
excited about it.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yeah, um, what are the aspects that you're excited
for?

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Curious, like that I'm always excited for that.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
I'm recently this summer that you're like, I'm
pumped to try this, pumped to dothis.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well, I mean specifically what I was
referring to whenever I texted.
Kelly was just like I'm justexcited to go travel with the
teams and to execute the eventthat we've been planning in
adult leader meetings.
We were talking at lunch today.
I'm excited about adult leadermeetings.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
I love them.
I love adult leader meetings.
I do too.
My favorite time of every moveis the 15 minutes after adult
leader meeting.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yep, I love.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
Every day.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
I love.
It's just the best.
I'm excited for adult leadermeetings.
I'm excited for our postsession team meetings where we
talk about, we celebrate thingswith one another, pray about
things with one another, we pray.
We spend that time praying foryouth groups that are out in
their youth group times and Ilove praying for youth groups
that are out in their youthgroup times and I love praying
about this.
There's something actuallythat's really special about

(05:49):
praying for people and knowingthat in that moment you're
coming alongside them inministry but you're not there
and like you're not necessarilyseeing it happen, but you know
that you are, because what webelieve to be true about prayer
and the work of the Holy Spirit,you are, you know, you are
partnering with them in thatministry.
There's something reallypowerful about that, um.
So I love, I love doing that.
I love watching studentsrespond and just watching youth

(06:12):
pastors and adult leaders hangwith their students, when you
know, when they don't know,anybody's watching them, you
know, and we can just kind ofcreep on them and look at them
just being really good, goodfriends and good mentors and
good leaders.
It's just, I just love it.
I'm excited about it.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
I'm excited to um get to go to a couple of moves this
summer.
You're doing a bunch.
Uh, where are you going to behere, like where are you going
to?

Speaker 2 (06:37):
be.
I'm going to be here in Joplin.
I'm going to be in Flagstaff.
I'm going to be in Ohio.
Um, I'm going to be inCalifornia.
I'm going to be in Florida.
I'm going to be in Oregon.
I'm going to be in Ireland.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Uh, can you settle this right now here on this
podcast?

Speaker 1 (06:53):
Does.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
California know how to party.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Oh yeah absolutely.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
Good, glad to know that, Um, I've never gotten to
do move in California.
Um, I'm an East coast boy, youknow, but we are having an open
move event in Florida for thefirst time since a long time ago
.
a long time ago, seven, eight,something like that Nine long
years ago.
And as a Florida person myself,I am just so pumped about that

(07:22):
event Same so pumped to go to amove in Florida and sweat
through my clothes AbsolutelyBefore 8.30 am.
Oh man, have to drink 19bottles of water a day in order
to stay hydrated.
That's right, send out anemergency text.
Blast about an alligator oncampus, sunshine State.
I can't wait.
I quite literally cannot wait.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
I'm so excited I'll't wait.
I quite literally cannot wait.
I'm so excited.
I'll never forget, like I mean,those Florida events, loading
out at some of those we used todo them in, like you know,
panama City Beach and Destin,and loading out into our truck
in the afternoon and taking outcardboard boxes of merch and of,
you know, cards or prayer cardsor whatever we have, and the
cardboard boxes literally justdisintegrating on the way to the

(08:07):
truck because of the humidity,because they're just soaked.
It's awesome.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
Florida isn't for everybody, but it is for me.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh, and there's so much momentum behind that event
right now.
It's going to be great.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah, the first.
Well, we were talking aboutthis at lunch too.
Just the amount of growth thatMove is seeing right now is kind
of insane.
And I don't want to sit hereand talk about numbers for the
sake of numbers, because that'snot why we do anything but the
fact that we opened up a moveevent in Florida.
So we have five events at Leeuniversity every summer and
those events last year were full.

(08:39):
Yep, five events.
If you wanted to go to Leeuniversity, you could not go,
could not.
And a lot of churches come upfrom Florida to go to those Lee
events.
We're like, okay, sweet, let'sput a move event in Florida.
Make it a little bit moreaccessible for those guys.
We'll open up some space up atLee, create some more, uh, some
more, some more opportunity forfor churches that want to go to
Lee.
First year sold out, moveFlorida Sold out.

(09:03):
You cannot go right, which iscrazy.
Yep, and we do have a littlebit of space left at tennessee,
but those spots have kind oflike filled back up.
Yep, I don't know it's, it's,it's hard because it's like I
want to be excited about theevents being full, but also oh
yeah, it's, I want to haveplaces for people to go, you
know absolutely, and I know

Speaker 2 (09:22):
churches feel that and we're working so hard on
that.
I and we're working so hard onthat.
I know we're working so hard onmaking sure that we continue to
open up more and more space forpeople to come in.
You know, if, if, uh, if achurch of a youth leader, you
know, and if parents, if theydeem fit to allow us to, to
partner with them in ministryand to entrust that part of
their ministry to us, then wewant to make sure that there's

(09:43):
that there's room for everybodyto be able to do that, and so,
yeah, we're working hard on it.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Oh, okay.
So every summer, um, I, I, Iwant to ask you this too,
michael every summer we travel alot during the summers, yep,
and a little bit later in thisconversation we're going to talk
about like work-life balanceduring the summer.
That's something that's hardfor us, it's hard for youth
pastors, it's hard for everybody, and we're going to talk about
how to how to kind of navigatethat.

(10:08):
But during the summer, thereare always a couple of weeks
sprinkled in there that we haveoff.
Right.
You might travel a couple ofweeks, make another stop, and
then you get to come home forfive days and then you hit the
road again.
What is your favorite thing todo during your time at home,
during your breaks at home?

Speaker 2 (10:28):
During the summer specifically.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yeah, during the summer.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Man, that's a good question.
Honestly, the thing that cameto my head first is Sleep.
No, actually Is actually to goto the pool with my family, like
we like, because my familyspends a lot of time there

(10:52):
whenever I'm on the road anyway.
But that's just like I, youknow phones off or, uh, you know
on silent and it's put away.
My watch is probably on becausethere are events happening, but
other than that, than that, um,it's just play and it's relax
and it's sun and it's all thosethings, and so that's that's the
thing that comes to my headfirst.
You know we have a lot of great, you know a lot of fun, fourth

(11:14):
of july traditions and stuff,too, that we try to do in the
summer, but, um, do you takethat?

Speaker 3 (11:18):
do you have that week off?
Fourth of july yeah, yeah, um,I was thinking you know we were
talking about growth and likehow we're trying super hard to
make sure that people have aplace to go.
Part of that has meant likeadding events like our Florida
event and I haven't reallycounted but like we have some
weird weeks this year where it'slike okay, the only way we

(11:39):
could really make this work isto do an event that starts on a
Saturday.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, totally, this is the.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
Florida event starts on a Saturday, ends on a
Wednesday and I know we've gotlike a California event that we
kind of shoehorned into a to atight spot and it's like for you
there.
I wonder how many actualcalendar days there are where we
don't have any of it happening.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Oh man.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
I wonder if there are any.
Uh, there might be a coupleearly earlier in the summer yeah
, a couple earlier in theweekend days probably I don't
know.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
I actually haven't checked.
That's a good question.
It's kind of wild.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Michael, what's your favorite thing to do on a week
off?

Speaker 1 (12:16):
well, let me cough feel better it's no gesundheit
you.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
We are in the throes of allergy season.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
This is not allergies .
Oh no, I was like today'sWednesday.
Last Thursday my throat wassore.
I was like I'm coming down withsomething.
Friday pretty bad day.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
Tough.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
And it's just been a slow uphill climb since then.
What's in your cup there,michael?
Not hot chocolate, oh, bummer,it is a honey, citrus mint tea.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Oh that is a great tea, otherwise known as the
medicine ball.
Medicine ball yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
This is my second one today it's probably like my
seventh in the last two days.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yeah, mike Brant was on the podcast a couple weeks
ago.
Love Mike, what a weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Love my and uh, what a guy.
I found out I didn't know thisthat he doesn't like coffee yeah
right, he likes lukewarm hotchocolate.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah, and it's from the desert, the day I don't care
um, the day that's the lukewarmpart, the day, the day that it
feels weird to call likelukewarm hot chocolate yeah, I
mean that, is it just likeliquid chocolate at that point?
I don't know, but like peopletalk about frozen hot chocolate
as like a flavor of things now,yeah, well, but it is.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
But frozen hot chocolate ice cream is different
than just chocolate ice cream.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
It is.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
Because it was once hot.
I don't know what the innerworkings are.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
I just know that.
I've tasted it.
Yeah, and it's different.
It seems like a scheme.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
It's different.
It seems like a scheme.
It's got like it's got.
This is going to be weird, butit's like.
I mean it's almost got like the.
You know there's something likevanilla creamer or something
like that, almost in with thehot, in with the chocolate.
That softens the bitterness ofthe chocolate a little bit.
You know, okay, Okay, but Iagree with you that frozen hot

(14:02):
chocolate or lukewarm hotchocolate is a funny, I mean
it's a weird name.
It's just chocolate, it's justchocolate water.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
The day that Mike's episode came out, he texted a
picture to me and Caleb andPaykel and he was drinking a
lukewarm chocolate.
Yeah, so anyway.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, okay, how we rolls man.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Favorite thing to do during a week off during the
summer.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
I think it just kind of depends.
A week off, unfortunately, isnot always truly a week off
because, right, we a lot oftimes we'll have things going on
at the warehouse, um, uh, whichis just the worst place to be
during the summer.
It's the worst, um, because theonly sort of like climate um
control that we have in there isum big fans big this podcast is
brought to you by.
It's not brought to you by, butno, but to say two-thirds of the

(14:50):
name um, uh, and they help, butthey're.
You know it doesn't solve theproblem.
I don't enjoy whenever there'sstuff to do in the warehouse, uh
, when I'm in town, but it'snever like full days.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
There's never like too much to do, but sometimes
that stuff happens yeah, um, itjust always depends.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
If there's like an event staff team that's in town
that has a few people that Ihave like sort of developed a
relationship with over the likeover the years, they've come
back, I like to try and hang outwith them, um, or if I'm behind
on like video games, I mighttry and catch up on video games.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
You know, it just always depends.
It's never exactly the same.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Lauren, do you have a favorite thing to do on a break
?

Speaker 3 (15:34):
Lauren's off mic oh, debut Debut Swim in the pool.
Swim in the pool.
That's the first time Lauren'svoice has ever been heard on
this podcast.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
She's a real person cool absolutely I'll make it
sound as good as I can she, shelikes to swim in the pool.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
That's incredible, yes.
Well, here's to many days forall of you and your, your what
do you do?

Speaker 2 (16:01):
what do you do?
What do you do on a break inthe summer?
Brad?

Speaker 3 (16:04):
It's a great question .
I love something Michael and Ihave in common we love going to
the movies.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
And summer is a great movie time, and so usually I
will try to catch one or twomovies during a week off, a day,
no, but like on a hot summerday going to a magnet going to
like a two o'clock showing of amovie.
Yeah, Just rocks.
Yeah, I don't know what it isabout that, but like.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
Coke Icy and Mission Impossible yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yes, all day, all day .
I actually saw the new MissionImpossible Dead Reckoning Part
One Okay.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
At a week of move, part one okay at oh, we could
move, yeah, which is now justdead reckoning right, yeah, not
part one, but there is a parttwo.
But it's not part two, right,it's a final record, final,
final reckoning just because?

Speaker 2 (16:51):
because death wasn't final right tom cruces.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yeah, happy easter everybody.
Yeah, right weeks late.

Speaker 3 (16:59):
That's right, um, but anyway I saw that in in
cleveland, tenn, tennessee, withJeremy Stevenson and it was a
nice little date that we had.
It was great.
It's beautiful.
Anyway, usually I like to catcha movie.
I do rest a lot, I do kind ofsleep a lot.
I also love working in my yard,so in the mornings and the
evenings when it's a little cool, I'll get outside, burn some

(17:22):
sticks.
Yeah, prune a bush Nice.
Harvest some vegetables.
Cilantro Well, cilantro is acool season vegetable.
So by then it's pretty muchspent Gotcha.
But basil maybe.
Now we're talking yeah, maybe atomato, ah, just one.
So yeah, that's what I like todo.

(17:44):
Great, okay, let's do mailbagreal quick and then we'll get
into this conversation.
That's super important abouthow to be a functioning human
being in all aspects of yourlife during this number.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Great, uh, okay, we have two questions from michelle
cruz that we will ask insequence before getting to uh
another, another question she'sback, dear friend matt berry,
she's so back she is so back.

Speaker 3 (18:13):
Michelle was a consistent question, asker, and
I don't know if there were anyon the last on the podcast.
But yeah, it's been a whilesince we've had a michelle cruz
question.
I'm excited it's michelle,michelle, welcome back um a.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Michelle Cruz question.
I'm excited it's Michelle'sseason.
Michelle, welcome back.
Okay, she says I think it wasLane who used to wear those
shoes that looked like toe socks.
I want to know more about thatthe Volta Period?

Speaker 3 (18:35):
Not even really a question, she just wants to know
, more about that.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
It's a demand.
Vibrams I did wear Vibrams.
I did wear Vibrams for a while.
They did not smell good.
It's a flaw of the Vibram.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
They have individual.
They're socks.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
With like yeah, with rubber bottoms, okay, vibram a
lot of people.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Did you ever wear Vibrams on stage at Move?

Speaker 2 (19:04):
I actually don't know .
There's a good chance.
People seerams on stage at Move.
I actually don't know there's agood chance.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
People see your toes on stage at Move.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
I was going to go back up to the warehouse and ask
if we could write a policyabout it.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
It's like I have to wear jeans on stage but you're
allowed to wear creepy toe shoes.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
If I did, it was early on in my time at CY,
Because I started wearing themin Tulsa.
I was running in red, born torun and we will go into all that
and this guy I mean, and I wassold and they were great, but

(19:41):
yeah, they didn't smell great.

Speaker 3 (19:44):
What's the perk Like?
What's the advantage?
I don't understand the idea isyou should.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
just the idea is that , like you're, I should read
Born to Run.
Yeah, the idea is that, like,what is that?

Speaker 3 (19:57):
That's a Bruce Springsteen album.
I don't know like what you'retalking about, can you?

Speaker 2 (20:00):
let him answer the question.
I'm sorry, it's quite all rightit?
Hey, brad, can you let himanswer the question?
I'm sorry, it's quite all right.
It's that, like your feet are amarvel of engineering and
modern shoes have actually likereduced their capacity to do
what they were designed to do,and so, like most world records
were set barefoot in terms of,like running and distance and
speed and things like that.
And so there was like a bigthing for a while where it was

(20:21):
just like hey, free the feet,let them.
You know that.
And so there was like a bigthing for a while where it's
just like hey, free the feet, uh, let them you know, not all the
way.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
So I just have a question about those world
records that were set barefoot Ican't probably answer those,
but you can try do any of themstill stand no idea I feel like
they don't probably not well,they were all set before shoes
were ever invented.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, no, they're called.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
I'm on their website right now.
They're're called Vibram fivefinger shoes.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, that's right.
So they've always been called.
Are they for monkeys they?

Speaker 3 (20:49):
are over $100.
Yeah, this pair is $150.
Yeah, and they have individualtoes.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
That's right.

Speaker 3 (20:58):
I just why do your toes need to be separated?

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Well, modern shoes, like they squeeze your toes
together in a way that'sunnatural.
Your, your feet, don't do thiswithout shoes, okay, but they do
with.
So like they're designed, likeyour feet are designed to be
like this ingrown toenails.
You got it inter vibrams I'mjust kidding um uh, no, I'm
obviously not.
Uh, I'm not sold on them anymore.

(21:23):
There was a season, there was acouple of season, there was a
couple of years, there was atime, there was a couple of
years, where I did wear thoseMisha's right.
Thank you for bringing that tothe attention of the podcast.
Okay, yeah, so there you go.
So that's, that's what it was,you know.
And uh, do you still have them?
No, no, gosh, no, not.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
Okay, certainly not uh, so she, she also is asking
uh, what was the catalyzingincident for you?

Speaker 3 (21:47):
throwing them away?
There's no telling marriage Ididn't know I was already
married.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Ellie had some too for a second, although she never
really wore them, but I likebought them for her.
I was like you should do this.
Um, I got in like my hyperevangelism phase for a while no,
no, she did not, um, but sheprobably read an article that I
sent her.
Yeah, um, and then, uh, bigreader kelly, actually she is,
but yeah, but um, but then yeah,so I don't know.

(22:15):
They're gone now for a longtime, I mean, it's been 15 years
, 12 years uh.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
So michelle also is saying about you, lane.
He has also said I'm paintingyou with the quiet brush on a
move stage.
When I was in high school itwas so weird that it worked the
question is does he have more of?
Those, or did he come up withthe quiet brush?

Speaker 2 (22:39):
himself.
I remember exactly when I did Imean that was.
I was a vent staff, you werewearing Vibrams.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
I was wearing.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
No, they hadn't even been invented yet.
I mean, made shoes.
Um, we were on uh, so I can'tremember if that one was.
That was in Colorado, I thinkUm, and and the crowd was a
little unruly, the children wererestless, and so I said we had

(23:08):
talked about it beforehand.
I don't know why Levi Greer andmy little brother Tyler, and
there was a few of us that werea part of that and we'd been
talking about whether or not totry to use the quiet brush on
stage.
And yeah, I did.
I just said I went like thisand I said I'm painting you with
the quiet brush.
Everybody was like so shockedthat they just kind of shut up

(23:31):
it worked, I think, is whathappened?
Yeah, it did, it did and Levitried it and it did not work.

Speaker 3 (23:40):
They revolted.
That's because nothing Levisays is to be taken seriously.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
They revolted it was amazing.
That's because nothing Levisays is to be taken seriously.
They revolted, it was amazing,that's funny.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
I don't know if Michelle is asking if you have
any more of those kinds oftricks.
Or if she's asking do you havemore of the quiet brushes Like
do?

Speaker 2 (23:56):
you have any more of the five pack or something?
Yeah, no, I don't.
I don't know if I have any moreof those other than just like
the.
You know, shh shh shh, shh, shh, shh shh shh shh, shh, shh shh
shh shh shh shh, shh shh shh,shh shh shh shh shh shh shh shh,

(24:16):
shh shh shh, shh, shh shh, shh,shh shh, and it's because your
eyes click open and your mouthclicks shut, and so she'd go
eyeball and everybody go clickand they would just, it would
just go silent.
It was amazing.
I might try that this summer.
Interesting, coming to a movestage near you.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Eyeball click Okay.
We have a question from MattBerry.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
The actor.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, the actor.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
Big time favorite of ours, Matt, is asking how do you
find the balance betweenpushing a student who's called
into ministry too hard versusnot hard enough Boy?

Speaker 3 (24:52):
I wasn't ready for that.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
The number of times that I've looked at that
question, I've gone.
That would be a great question.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Probably not today, but Lane today, today's the day
I feel so lucky and honored,that's actually I mean mean it
really is a great question.
Um, yeah, because you don't likemanipulate people no no, no, no
, and and and to some degreealso, I think you trust you know
, like, if a student is calledinto ministry and you, you know,

(25:20):
if you know you see, there, Ithink you can also, I think you
can trust that they can alsohear and discern the Holy
Spirit's leading and like thevoice of the Lord.
And so I think you have to, youhave to water that and
opportunities for thatdiscernment to take place.

(25:42):
But I do think that there issome truth to it.
I mean, if you just like, ifyou just push and push and just
say no, I think everything elseis a bad idea and this is what
you need to do, then I mean,that's a.
Those are the kind, that's thekind of soil that resentment can
grow in.
You know, not not fruitfulministry.
And so I do think, I think myencouragement would be to just

(26:05):
spend regular time with thatstudent and just say, hey, are
you open to this conversation?
I'm not going to push, but areyou open to exploring it a
little bit together?
Or are you at least open topraying for what's next for you,
praying about what's next foryou, and then spend some time
doing that?
As a youth pastor, I would saytoo that you have to.

(26:27):
That's gotta be a two-waystreet.
You've got to approach thatwith, like, an open heart and
open hands as well, because youmight find too that, oh no, the
Lord has something different forthem and ministry in a
different form.
It may not be vocational, itmay be something else, and you
may be discerning incorrectly,you know, and so you just need
to.
Maybe your encouragement forministry in their life might

(26:50):
need to look a little bitdifferent than the way that
crying does for you.
But I would say, and just like,don't be afraid to approach
those times with prayer andlistening together and you know,
and those kinds of things, andyou might be surprised what the
Lord does in their heart.
You might be surprised what theLord does in their heart.
You might be surprised what theLord does in your heart, um,
but if you're listening well andand and obeying well, then you
won't be disappointed by, um,the results.

(27:12):
I can guarantee that there's noreason for fear.
There's no reason for fear formaking the wrong decision.
If you're just trying to takethe next right step, you know
the next step into it and youknow.
However, whatever is, whateverpart of the path is lit before
you at that time by the word ofGod.
Um then, as long as you'retaking that step, then you had
nothing to worry about, you knowso it's a, it's a great

(27:34):
question.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
It is.
It's a good question.
It's a hard question because Iknow like youth pastors are
often like the first people tosee that in somebody you know
and it's like first people tosee that in somebody you know
and it's like how do I, you know, how do I push?

Speaker 2 (27:53):
but not be pushy, and it's certainly a lot a part of
a lot of people's stories thatthey've had a, they've had a
leader, a youth pastor or asmall group leader or somebody
kind of shoulder tap them andjust say, hey, I see this in you
and I think this is somethingthat maybe God has, like, gifted
you for and is leading youtowards, and I think that's
totally in bounds is to do that.
But then if they say, no, Ithink it's this, and after, like
again, after this, you knowsome prayer and prayerfully
considering all that, then Ithink you go okay, great, well,

(28:16):
those things that I see in youare still there, they're still
true.
So now, so how do we marrythese two things?
Like, what does it look like tobe to lead in the way that I
see that you're capable andgifted in and to do those kinds
of things, but to do that inwhatever it is that God has
called you to?
I think that those you know,those two things can, can exist
together and can actually existreally beautifully together, and

(28:37):
so then it's a matter offiguring out what that looks
like.
You know.
So, and and here's, and yeah,you don't want to manipulate,
you don't want to manipulate you, don't want to do that, but I
mean, we're going to do that atmove too.
I mean there's obviouslynothing wrong with like saying
the Lord has called some of youto do this.
Let's boldly step into it.
It might make you a littlenervous, it might make you a
little bit, you know whatever,but we're going to.
I mean yeah we're doing that.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Big opportunities play in this too.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
For sure.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
And I would agree with him.
You know, obviously I think youwould too.
But, like, sometimes it doesn'tstart with a conversation about
ministry.
Sometimes it starts with aconversation about well, it is a
conversation about ministry.
It doesn't start with aconversation about vocational
ministry.
It starts with a conversationabout um, hey, I think you'd be
good at this.
You want to come try?

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Do it yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
You want to.
You want to hop on stage andlead this moment.
You want to, uh, lead a middleschool small group.
You want to.
You know, whatever that may be,just to kind of like put them
in a position where God couldhave an easier time, um,
breaking through some of the thenoise of life and getting ahold
of those students.

(29:58):
Um, but yeah, it's, it's a hardthing.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
The danger is that you're going to push so hard
that you're going to have what Iassume is some kind of a leader
in your youth group, right, orat least has potential for
leadership, is why you're seeingthis Leadership at some
capacity.
You know, maybe not out frontleadership, but maybe it's
behind the scenes, whatever.
It is not out front leadership,but maybe it's behind the

(30:25):
scenes, whatever.
Whatever it is the.
The fear is, you know, thedanger is that you're going to
push that person so hard thatyou're going to have a really, a
really great person graduateyour youth group, feeling like
you're disappointed in them andthat's.
And man, oh Lord, like we don'twant that, you know, like we
don't want somebody to leave to,to leave the youth group to
grab what you know, to graduateor whatever else, and to go on
to whatever's next in their life, feeling like they let down the

(30:52):
youth leader or whatever else.
Yeah, that would be a totalbummer.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
Yeah, it would be Okay.
Is that it?
Yep?
Is that a wrap on season fourMailbag?
I believe it is Okay.
Great questions, Great Yep.
Is that a wrap on season?

Speaker 1 (31:06):
four Mailbag.
I believe it is Okay.
Great questions, Greatquestions.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
Thank you, michelle, for enlightening us about the
life of Pass Lane, and thank youto Matt for just a treasure
trove of questions that he askedall season long A true
wellspring?

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, truly so.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
This is normally the point in our podcast when I
would say, okay, let's go have aconversation with so-and-so,
but it's just Lane.
We're having a conversationwith Lane.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
So we're going to jump right into this.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Don't?
No, no, we're very excited.
We're all happy about this.
All right, here's the premise.
You, a few minutes ago, yourattled off all the different
places you're going to be thissummer.
Yep, you start your summer herein Joplin at Missouri.
One Get to sleep in your ownbed.

(31:57):
That's nice.
Still working hard, though.
In the months of June and Julyyou know, 61 days you'll
probably be on the road, I don'tknow between 40 and 50 of those
days.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah, something like that, I'm guessing.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Not going to do the math right here as we speak.
So I want to know how you stayconnected to Jesus when you're
out of your routine, because Iknow that you're a man of
discipline and it's like I havethings that I do.
What?
No, are you nodding?

Speaker 2 (32:32):
no, right now About being a man of discipline.
Yeah, oh man, I don't know.
Yeah, you are, stop Shut up.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
Okay, but it's like, okay, I have a routine, and when
I break out of the routine, howdo I continue to to do that?
I want to know how you stayemotionally healthy.
I want to know how you staymarried.
I want to know how you continueto be a good dad?
Um, cause it's hard and andyouth pastors are in the same

(33:03):
position, right, if you, um, Imentioned Jeremy Stevenson's
name earlier.
That man is leading a missiontrip to Spain.
Yeah, he's going to mix, yep,he's going to move with his
church.
He's directing a week of moveand directing two weeks of move.
You know, and it's like youthpastors, your summer calendar

(33:24):
also is slammed and also is outof the ordinary and, um, so we
see you and we feel that too,and I think the lane, you're
just a really good guy to kindof um speak into this a little
bit.
So why don't we start here?
This might be a bad place tostart, but I think it might be a
good place to start.
Just what?
What?
I feel like you like routine insome sense.

(33:47):
What value does routine play inyour, like, normal life, your
baseline?

Speaker 1 (33:54):
Oh, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
Like yeah, let's just kind of start there.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Like, yeah, let's just kind of start there.
Um, it's well, it is.
I do like routine, um, I'm, I'ma, I'm a seven, uh, on the
Enneagram, for what?
For what it's worth, and so,like I'm, I'm motivated by fun.
So most of most of what I do isjust trying to get from
wherever I am to wherever.
It looks like is going to be agood time.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Right, yeah, you got it.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
And so, uh, and so I so like.
So routine has not always beensomething that I like naturally
gravitate towards, neither isdiscipline, um, for that matter,
and so that's.
That's something that I'velearned a lot about from good
people in my life, and my wifeis very, you know, disciplined
and um, so I've learned a lotfrom her in that way, and just
from you know, just, uh, and soI've, I've, I've grown there,

(34:45):
but I'm still, yeah, I stillkind of like have to.
It's a battle that I got tofight, but I have the one of the
reasons, one of the thing thatmakes the battle so worth it, um
, is because I it is undeniablybetter when I'm, when I am able
to find some rhythm, yeah, whichI think is probably a more

(35:06):
appropriate word for what I, forme, than even routine is a
little bit Routine factors intothat.
But rhythm is, is moreimportant, and the reason is
because life is so different inso many different seasons, yeah,
so it's different overChristmas time than it is over,
you know, january and February,and it's different in January

(35:26):
and February than it is in Apriland May, and it's way different
in July than it is in any ofthose times, sure, and so
routine gets thrown off quick,yeah, um, and.
But you can still, even whenyour routine is shattered or
very different, you can stillprioritize rhythm and, and that
has been, um, you know, you canstill prioritize, okay.

(35:48):
Well, what does it look likefor me to seek Jesus first in
the morning before I do otherthings?
The rhythm or the routine mightnot always be the same, but
those are the rhythms that canstill be, still be helpful.
What does it look like to haverhythms where I'm trying to
recenter myself in the beginning, middle and end of the day?
The routines can vary.

(36:09):
The rhythm stays To stay asphysically healthy as I can.
Routines can vary.
Rhythms are important, therhythm routines can vary.
Rhythms, um, rhythms are.
Rhythms are important andthey're, you know, the rhythm is
what's consistent.
So, um, hugely important andhas become, and has become, more
important, Um, just as um, Ithink, just the.

(36:32):
I don't know if it's becomemore important, but I've
realized more of the importanceof it the older that I get, um,
and the more that I realized howconnected physical health,
mental health, emotional health,spiritual health, all of those
things are just like, so are soconnected for me that it's it's
huge If I want to love people bygiving them my best, which is

(36:55):
what I, which is what I want todo, people that my life,
churches, you know, and friendsand family and everything I want
to one of the ways that I lovethem probably the primary way
that I love them is by givingthem my best.
If I want to do that, then Ihave to be, I have to be healthy
, and so rhythm is important forme.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
So there's an elephant in the room for me that
I just want to kind of like saySure, and I think it'll be
helpful to people who arelistening.
This conversation is heavilyinfluenced by a man named Justin
Whitmore, early Absolutely, whohas written just two or three A

(37:35):
couple.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Books Three and four.
So he's got the habits of thehousehold.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
Common rule Common rule is the big one for me.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Made for people.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
Made for people.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
That's right.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
So I think it I don't remember if it's even him, but
I think that it is who talksabout ruts?
Yeah, yeah, he does mentionthat.
Yeah, no-transcript, and it'shard, hard to get out of it.

(38:31):
Uh, on purpose.
Um, so he talks a little bitabout, like, how do we create
ruts in our own, our ownspiritual life?
That, um, no matter what thecircumstance is like you're
talking about, is it Christmastime?
Am I on the road during thesummer?
Is it a normal, uh, wednesdaywhere I'm going to be at work
from eight to five?

(38:51):
Um, no, it doesn't matter,because I have this rut, uh,
that that I'm kind of staying in.
What are some of those for you,ruts, yeah.
Or just like you use the wordRhythms.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
Rhythm yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:13):
Pick your poison, I don't care.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
So Bible before phone , I can do really any all year
long.
There's really not a, there'snot a season, um.
Where that is, where that isunattainable, you know, is is is
scripture before phone, um andso, and that's just huge.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
It's amazing, um, you know, uh it's, and this is just
to elaborate on that just atiny bit.
I wake up in the morning beforeI look at my phone I'm I'm in
the word.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
Yeah, Now you're, there's a good chance you're
turning your alarm off on yourphone or you know something like
that.
But before, like, but let's behonest, let's like, let's call
it what it is.
It's before social media, youknow, or or something like that.
You know, or, uh, or I don'tknow, mind sweeper, maybe you're
a big mind sweeper guy, so it'dbe before that.
Sure, I'm not.
Yeah, Well, you never know.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
I'm a big crossword guy, I'm a hundred Do I do the
New York times crossword everyday.
I do Good for you, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
So, um, and, and I, and I just think that, like I, I
just don't know that there's, Iliterally don't know if there's
any one that is, that is asimportant as that.
Okay, just in terms of say, Imean, if, if you're, you know,
attached to just scrolling, youare, you are scientifically more
anxious, you are more likeyou're, you know what I mean,

(40:39):
you're more all of these things,and so it's just, if we want to
be less of that, then there isa very simple thing that you can
do to be less of that.
It's not that it's not a, it'snot a silver bullet, but it is a
but it is a less of that thingin more, you know, focused on
word of God, truth of God.
Come to me all you who areweary, and I'll give you rest.

(41:01):
Yeah, let's start there, youknow, and then, um, so, so then
it is, it's, it's it's gettingup in the morning and schedule
my coffee.
Wake up, um, and get my coffee,go out and sit in my chair in
my, in my um living room andfight like all heck to not think
about all the things that aregoing to be happening that day
and instead try to, um, insteadspend some time in the word and

(41:26):
in prayer so even let's kind ofstart here.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt you're right, even
just then, you painted a pictureof yourself in your living room
, right, which is where you wakeup most mornings, um, in your
own bed, going to the livingroom, making coffee, sitting in
your chair, right, you know, andreading the word of god, yep,
um, and as much as we would wantto say that we try to, like,

(41:55):
make those things, um,consistent, regardless of of
what the setting is, for me thatand I don't have the same
routine as you, but for me thatwould be a difficult thing to
superimpose onto a week of move,oh, big time, yeah, sure.
So what does that?
You know what does that looklike?

Speaker 2 (42:14):
You know what I mean, so it can always so it can
always be the exact same.
I don't always have the slowmornings, it can't always, so it
can't always be the exact same.
I don't always have the slowmornings that I might be able to
have, and so there's a way, Imean I can set my alarm with
enough time to give myself aslow morning, but the nights are
much later as well, so sleepjust in that, and across a
several week long summer thatbecomes harder.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
So it's harder the third week of July than it is
the second week of June.
You got it.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
Yeah, and so for me it's still important.
So I still try to do that.
But even if you can't have theslow morning that you think you
can have, you can still haveBible before phone.
That can still be one of thosethings.
That is, you know, even if it'srelatively brief, or you know
you can, that is stillattainable.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
You know, um and and maybe it's even if it's just
like reading Psalm 23, whileyou're laying in bed before you
get up for the day you knowearbuds listening to scripture
while you're walking acrosscampus.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
You know what I mean To that kind of.
I mean that kind of thing is isuh, is huge as well.
So, yeah, I mean it's still,it's still there.
Um, you know, you can, you canstill, you can still accomplish
it.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
So here's another thing.
Um, I'm here's just the way mybrain works is.
I'm hearing you, kind of like,talk about your life, and I'm
thinking how I would respond ifI was you in certain situations.
You know what I mean, and Ifeel like if this was a rule
that I wanted to put in place inmy life um, which it is I would

(43:47):
love to do that.
I don't um that I would bereally hard on myself yeah if
that, it would become like alegalistic thing totally a
little bit.
You know that it's like, okay, Ihave this practice that I and I
kind of like it's reallyimportant in my relationship
with god that I do this, andthen all of a sudden, it's been
three days and I haven't yep,and now I'm thinking like, oh

(44:10):
gosh, another, another thingthat I've dropped the ball on.
You know what I mean?
Um, help me with that.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Two things first of all, again, this is justin.
Is Justin, anything worth doingis worth doing poorly.
So it's like, yeah, drop theball.
Three, three out of seven daysis so much better than none out
of seven days.
Right, you know what I mean.
So that's great, like, that'sawesome.
So, celebrate that, like, try tolike live in that kind of
celebration and in that kind ofawareness of this was good for

(44:38):
me, I think, even the three daysI did this, they were healthy.
But then also, I have to remindmyself too, I'm not doing this
to like so that I have any kindof favor with God throughout the
day.
Right, I'm not doing this to,I'm doing this because it's
genuinely, because it's God'sinvitation to me, yeah, to try
to center my morning around him.

(45:00):
It's an anchor, it's an anchorand it's, and it truly is an
invitation, um to a, to a betterway, um, of living, I think, to
like a um to a better way to goabout my day anyway, and so, um
, and so, yeah, so, thinking ofit that way, you know, instead
of thinking of it as like theseare.
You know, I'm doing this thingsbecause it is.

(45:21):
It gets easy to beat yourself upor whatever, but anything worth
doing is worth doing poorly,and so celebrate the wins.
But you always, you know, thelosses always hurt more than the
wins.
Feel good, I think, oftentimes.
And so it's hard to likerecenter, yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
But which is just purely like an ego achievement.
Sure Thing, sure.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
But, but got to work through that, I guess too, so
sure, um, okay, I kind ofinterrupted you.
Uh, routines and um, dependingon, you know, uh, everything
else, but, um, I I have, uh, Ihave an alarm that goes off in
the middle of my day as well,because it's what's easy for me
is to forget that.
You know, dallas Willard callsit the with God life, which is

(46:17):
just like that.
Like you know, um brotherLawrence, talks about the
presence of God.
Yeah, that's right, yeah, and so, and so it's.
It's easy for me to forget thatI have a foot in two places.
You know, it's not about.
It's not about being in amonastery by yourself, or like
being out by some, like babblingbrook, and I'm sitting there in
solitude, in a silence, or youknow.
You know, solitude, retreat orsomething like that, those are

(46:39):
that's, that's cool.
If you can, you know, manage todo that kind of thing, it's
great.
But that's not what most, mostlife is.
But that doesn't mean that youstill can't be as intimately
connected to the father as youare during those times, while
I'm, while I'm backstage,talking to our backstage manager
, you know, and getting you knowabout what's going to go on the
teleprompter.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
Yeah, for Brother Lawrence, it was peeling
potatoes.
That's exactly.
Yeah, that's exactly right.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
And so and so there's .
So I, so what I've tried to do,is try to find things in my
life that I can do that keep meto live in that awareness.
And so, um, one of so, one ofthose things.
I have an alarm that goes offat 1135 every day.
Um, that just is a, that isjust that reminder, and it
actually just says kneel,because I would like to kneel in

(47:23):
prayer during that time.
But again, that's not like alegalistic thing and there are
obviously times when thatdoesn't make sense.
I'm not going to do that in themiddle of Target or whatever
else, but I am going to try tostop what I'm doing and take a
posture that is even subtle andis even for 15 or 20 seconds,

(47:43):
but whatever it does just likere-posturing myself, physically
even, is just like a reorientingof okay, maybe even like the
first part of my day is finishednow, and now I'm going to think
about, like the next part of myday in terms of not like
planning out my schedule orwhatever else, but in terms of,
okay, maybe I can't keep 24hours, I can't remember that I'm

(48:04):
, you know, living in two placesfor 24 hours, but maybe I can
for for four at a time, you know, um.
So that's another routine.
That alarm goes off every day,and so every day, at 1135, I
spent a little bit of time inprayer, make, trying to make
again like recognize God'spresence, um, and, and, and then
just telling him like, lord, Iwant to give the this part of my

(48:25):
day to you, and and doing that,so that's been.
That's really helpful too yeah,um.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
So there's like an ideal I feel like, and and this
might be at the root of like whythis is difficult for, for this
type of thing is difficult forme, and maybe why the word um
rhythm is a much better wordthan the word routine, um is

(48:58):
because, like we I think we allhave like an ideal.
Like you talked about being bya creek and having time to pray,
and in a sense, you're speakingmy language, I'm probably not
by the creek, I'm in the creekwith a fly rod in my hand.
You know, and and that's myspace you know what I mean, but

(49:19):
even if you know, like we, we'veall seen um and and some of us
have done this not definitelynot me, not me, uh, for sure,
I've never done this, but likehad the Instagram Bible study,
you know.
I definitely have done this,sure, uh and where it's like oh

(49:41):
look, my bible and a cup ofcoffee and the sun coming up
over the horizon.
You know wonderful experienceit's a great experience and um,
but like, then we get that idealin our mind and then anything
that doesn't meet that becomeslike less valuable for some

(50:03):
reason.
You know, in terms of like,helping to maintain our
relationship with God is likeman.
I really wanted to set my alarm30 minutes early every day so
that I could get up, get dressed, brush my teeth, have breakfast
and then have 30 minutes whereI can just sit and be in God's
word minutes where I can justsit and be in God's word, but

(50:23):
then like it becomes anythingless than that, um, where it's
like maybe I am rushing to getup and get dressed and then I
have to put on the you versionapp in my car and listen to a
Psalm while I'm driving intowork, or whatever feels like, um
, yeah, just just like a lessvaluable experience.
And um the I really like therhythm thing because it says no,

(50:44):
actually not true, you know?
Um you're still in a placewhere you're centering yourself
on God's will.
Um, at this time of the day, orwhatever it may be.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
And I and I think in, yeah, mountains and valleys,
man, you know what I mean Like,the mountaintop is in those kind
of opportunities, when you get,you know, when you have the
Instagram Bible study, you knowmoment or whatever, they're
phenomenal and like, ask theHoly Spirit to call those things
to your mind while you'resitting there, not so that you
can experience them, but so thatyou can thank God for them and
know that it's the same God.
You know who, who, who,actually, who is.

(51:22):
It's even harder to even fathom, like, oh, you're with me here,
like you're in my living room,you're in my, the same way that
you are, you know, in the stream, or the mountains or the you
know whatever else.
So, yeah, it's more mundane,you know, um, but in that way,
maybe more sweet.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Yeah, okay, um, I I'm going toswitch gears, yeah, unless you
got something else.
No, go for it.
Okay, um, relationships, okay,community, I'm most listeners.
The podcast none of those.
Not married, don't havechildren.
Uh, listeners of the podcastknow this not married, don't
have children.

(51:59):
Uh, you are married.
You do have three children.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
You still have three.
I still still.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Yeah, um, I didn't know if, knox you know, you just
never know.
Uh, so anyway, um, during thesummer, well, like community is
kind of hard for me anyway, youwhat I mean.
But the first several yearsthat I lived here, it felt like
I was just like hitting a hardreset button every summer, like

(52:26):
I would kind of have friendshipsand whatever and it was great
throughout the year, and thensummer would hit and I would
come back from summer and feelpretty isolated, you know um,
because there was no like habitor routine of of being in
community with those people forsuch a long um stretch of time.
Um, and and obviously you have,you know, very important

(52:54):
relationships to you, kelly andcanon ledger knocks that it's
like very important to to keepthose things going um during the
summer.
And and I'm curious what thatlooks like for your family yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
So obviously, family and friends as a different
conversations, you know, um, howyou do that kind of community,
but so for specifically for myfamily, um, for my uh, one of
the things that we kind oflearned early is that is that um
and and I and I, and sure Ithink this is also going to be
different for everybody.

(53:30):
In fact, I know people, youknow that we have, you know
people at CY who the way thatthey approach this with their
family is very different.
Not one not better than theother, necessarily.
What we have found to be, to behelpful for our family is Kelly
and I, you know, we we ended uphaving.
One of the things that used tofrustrate us is that sometimes
in the summer, in the summerwhere I'm, you know, very busy
days, all these kinds of things,and so we used to say like we

(53:52):
don't really have time toconnect, or we don't have time
to talk, or we don't have timeto, and actually that's not true
.
What, and actually that's nottrue?
What we don't always have timefor is like significant,
meaningful conversations.
Right, sometimes we have timefor it.
A lot of times we don't in inin the summer, but we always,
and so it was kind of like wealmost.
There was a time when we almosttook an all or nothing approach

(54:13):
.
It was like we don't have that,so then we don't have anything
kind of it's the same idea.
Yeah, right it's like whateverthe Instagram Bible study
version of a conversation withyour wife is Totally yeah, if I
can't do that, then why doanything?
Right, you know.
And so one of the things that's, I think, been the healthiest
for us over the last few summersis actually just like is again

(54:33):
I mentioned earlier but likeI've got I know this walk is
going to take six or sevenminutes while I'm walking across
campus, maybe a little more.
So I'm just going to call Keland just like chat with her for
a little bit and that makes,honestly, what's important for
my wife and for her lovelanguage is to feel like she's a
part of the things that I doand for me to be a part of the
things that she's doing.

(54:54):
You know, whether you knowshe's that's you know with her
job, or she's at home with theboys or whatever it is, but for
us to not feel like we're doingthose things totally separate
from one another, even thoughthat is kind of the reality, but
however we bring each otherinto and again that is the
mundane so like be just likeColin Kelly, while I'm walking
across you know when I'm, whileI'm walking across campus, and

(55:15):
just kind of telling her aboutyou know, telling her about what
I had for breakfast and likewhat you know, what I'm excited
about for the day or whateveryou know and hearing about how
you know their morning went athome or their you know what, or
you know whatever it is.
So it's it's being okay withlike little things that that are
seemingly less significant, um,but are actually massive in

(55:39):
terms of like how we stayhealthy together.
And then every time, everychance I get, I also FaceTime,
um, you know, with the boys and,um, you know, chow some a
little bit, and then we have,like you know, running jokes and
running things we do every timeI'm at a, you know try to
explore new coffee shopswherever I'm at, and you know
that's, you know, connect withKnox that way.
He's a big coffee guy and so Isend him this one here's where I

(56:01):
am and then he'll look it upand talk to me about all that
kind of stuff and everything andtalk to, you know, ledge about
his job and my job and how youknow.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
So, anyway, you just kind of how working at
Chick-fil-A is basically.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
Working at CLI.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
Working at CLI.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
Kingdom work, kingdom work baby.
Kingdom work, kingdom work babyand work baby.
So yeah, so again, it'sroutines, you know, and if I
know, like keeping an eye onthat, keeping an eye on the uh
or it's, it's rhythms, I shouldsay keeping an eye on the time
difference and knowing that, um,you know, I'm like it's gonna
be bedtime for them long beforeit is for me.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Right, and just trying to at least acknowledge
that that's true if you're inthe same time.
So it's true.
Yeah, at least acknowledge thatin a's true If you're in the
same time zone, it's true.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
Yeah, at least acknowledge that in a text.
You know, even if I can't, youknow, call and tell everybody
good night that night andeverything else, maybe I just
like send a quick video to themor maybe I at least am able to
text them and just say you know,love you guys, and you know,
love you and miss you.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
And can't wait to that.
I I'm 99% sure I know theanswer to this question, but I'm
going to ask it as a questionanyway.
Um, is that something that youand Kelly had to have a
conversation about Like this iswhat this is the form our, our,
our relationship is going tohave to take during the summers,

(57:16):
or was that something thatevolved over time?

Speaker 2 (57:20):
yes, it is.
It is something that we havehad to have multiple
conversations about.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
I mean here's the truth, like whenever I'm like
you're not just gonna naturallysettle in.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
Oh, man, no, yeah, no , it's, it's been.
It's multiple conversations andnot all of them like, hey,
could we have a conversationabout?
You know what I mean like itit's About conversations, yeah
oftentimes they're born out offrustration, you know, and born
out you know, and that kind ofthing.
And I've had this was a fight.

Speaker 3 (57:48):
Yeah, sure, you know, and but like, but over time,
you know, like you know overtime, just like trying to listen
, well, and for both of us andWell, and I hope so, Kelly, I
know this about Kelly, that sheI've talked to her about this

(58:09):
she that that it's very like sheis very bought into the mission
of CIOI and it is missional forher to um, kind of be in a like
it's missional for her to beuncomfortable for a season, um,

(58:29):
and to maybe not have the idealfor a season, yes, um, in order
for you to be able to do whatshe feels like and sees and
notices that god has called youto do um through your work with
ciy.
So I feel like that needs to besaid too.
That's just a huge foundational, like underlying piece of this
as well.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
It is, and it is uncomfortable for seasonally
because she's a quality timeperson, like that's her primary
love language, that is hard tocome by in the summers, and so
that has been, you know,tremendous sacrifice for her
that she feels.
And here's the thing.
I had this conversation with afriend, you know, at work, and
I've had it with different youthpastors and stuff as well too.

(59:09):
Is that one time I remembertalking to um, one of our
coworkers, and we were headingout on a trip together.
We were leaving early in themorning to go catch a flight and
and they I noticed they werekind of quiet, and so we got to
talking and and they just said,yeah, wellish about it, because
their impression was that thatwas unique to them, yeah, that

(59:35):
their household was the only onethat struggled with the travel
or the schedule or something.
And I was like, oh, dude, no,like, no, I think that's pretty
much everybody and to varyingdegrees, sure.
And the other thing I said islike, and also kind of a good
thing, yeah, like I want myhouse to not feel whole whenever

(59:56):
whenever whenever any of us arenot there, whether it's one of
my sons, cause they're at camp,or you know, or Kelly because
she's doing something, or me, Iwant it to feel like abnormal
and to feel uncomfortable, likethat's a good thing, you know,
um, and so we, and so there's,that's not it doesn't mean that
it's a bad thing, that's right.

(01:00:17):
Yeah, it doesn't mean that it'sa bad thing.
But there also is sacrifice.
I mean I, I don't travel asmuch in the summer as the as I
could, because I also want tolike, I also, like you know, I
have to give some too, you know,and make sure that we do have
that quality time and that we dohave that.
And so I, so I want to, we, wework out, we try to do our best

(01:00:39):
to work out our family schedulefor the summer together, so that
she can also speak into mytravel a little bit, and that
kind of thing.
So that's yeah, that's hugeyeah.
And we don't, by the way, we'vebeen doing it for a long time.
We don't have it totallyfigured out.
Summer's not perfect all thetime, like we don't get it.
You know it's well, it's likeyou said, it's like it's good,

(01:00:59):
it's never.

Speaker 3 (01:01:01):
I don't think it's ever going to be easy for kelly
when you leave.
You know I don't know if this isstill true, but like five years
ago or whatever, she made acomment to me that like I cry
every time, yeah, and it's likethat's sucks.
You know that's terrible, um,and but yeah it.

(01:01:23):
It doesn't mean that shedoesn't think you should be
doing what you're doing.
It doesn't mean that youshouldn't be doing what you're
doing.
It just is something to beworked out, yeah, and that takes
a lifetime I'm sure totallydoes.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
Yeah, totally does.
Maybe maybe just try like timesbut it get.
But it's so important that,like we, it's so important that
we enter into that together andagain there's like little
conversations throughout theweek or wherever I am and just
kind of like keeping her, youknow, involved and everything
she wants, she genuinely wantsto be, and that helps a lot too.
That helps her, that helps me,that helps.
Yeah, I think so Super great.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Okay, last piece of this puzzle, um, which is
another one that's that'sdifficult for me, is just kind
of maintaining an emotional,mental, uh balance during the
summer, especially because, uh,I mean, traveling the way that
we do, traveling the way thatyouth pastors do, is just kind

(01:02:20):
of a pressure cooker, um,emotionally, it's not just like
you're busy, um, and not gettingenough sleep, even though you
are busy and you are not gettingenough sleep.
There's also just a very likeheavy component to what we do
you know, every day that we'reon the road, we're having

(01:02:42):
conversations with youth pastorsor with students who are, uh,
in real time dealing with veryreal things, and uh, you know,
every summer we end up on thephone with DCFS.
Every summer we, you know likewe have to deal with a lot of

(01:03:03):
heavy stuff in a veryconcentrated period of time, uh,
cause summer, and it kind ofjust brings that out.
So I'd imagine that beinggrounded in the word, being
grounded in the relationshipsthat are important to you, plays
into this.
But I want to kind of take thatone step farther and just talk

(01:03:23):
about how the heck we aresupposed to like, try to even
begin to maintain emotionalhealth when we're in these
seasons, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
Yeah, so again, it's amazing how connected these
things are.
So finding ways to be like,physically healthy, so like I,
you know, my, my, you know it'swhich is hard to do whenever
you're in cafeterias, that youknow.
So, like almost every meal isbeige, you know like a lot of
yellow food yeah, likeexclusively.
So like I'm like a I I eatsalads like two meals a day, you

(01:03:59):
know, whenever I'm on the road.
For that reason, salads is agenerous term some bib lettuce
with ranch dressing on it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
It's like this was the option.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Yeah, but there's, it's a little green, um and so,
but it's so.
But.
But you know, we know thishungry, angry, lonely, tired,
you know halt, that's when we'remost susceptible to um, to
temptation, to, you knowemotional bottoming out, to, you
know any, any of those kinds ofthings whenever we're, and in

(01:04:32):
the summer, for me I'm the mostof all of those things right
then you ever, then you are.
At any other time I'm the mosthungry, often the most angry,
depending on what's going on,though, you know, the most
lonely and the most tired, andso a lot of it is just stepping
into it with that awareness andputting some things in place
ahead of time.
That's where rhythm comes in.
Like rhythm.

(01:04:52):
Rhythm is absolutely massive interms of like and it is, it's
mostly spiritual, and then it'salso being um, it's also being
honest with the right people.
So, um, I loved, uh, man, it'sit's high school students on
stage.

Speaker 3 (01:05:09):
high school students on stage.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Right, there's something to that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:13):
Can I tell you something I've got?

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
something that's just kind of like I'm so angry.
There's something to that.
Well, like we should be, youknow, authentic and everything
but well, there's a time and aplace.
There's a time and a place.
I I, I so appreciated it wasthis morning for us from a at
the time of recording, butrelease it'll be, you know, a
couple weeks later.
But Daniel Wheeler, um, led ouruh staff diva this morning and

(01:05:36):
we did kind of like a, a Visioand Lectio Divina Um.
And you know one of the thingsthat she talked about, as we
like looked at this watercolor,you know, picture of Christ in
the garden and praying and agonyand everything is, was um.
One thing she talked about islike our Messiah didn't have a
Messiah complex and was and andallowed his agony in that moment

(01:05:57):
and his despair in that momentand loneliness in that moment
and all those things.
He allowed it to not only beobserved but recorded and and
things like that.
And so how, how, how open doesthat leave the door for us to be
, to be open about those thingsas well?
And so, with the, right To nothave to present like we have it
all together, absolutely Right,exactly, and that's such a more

(01:06:21):
emotionally and spirituallyhealthy place to be than
pretending, and I'm more andmore convinced all the time that
nobody, that nobody, is servedwell when we pretend that we
have it all together Right.
Nobody is.
It sets a fake goal that otherpeople then try to live up to.
It sets a fake bar that otherpeople try to live up to and it
diminishes the work of Christ inour lives and it diminishes the

(01:06:43):
hope that we have and um, andthe grace that we are living by
um and the mercy.
That was new for us when wewoke up that morning and so, and
so God help us if we walkaround diminishing those things
as we try to go about the workthat he has invited us into Jeez
.
So I so, I so that's so findingthe kinds of people that you

(01:07:04):
can also be open with aboutthose things while you're on the
road, even you know, and andthat you can be talking about
those things and in a way thatis, you know, healthy and we
don't got to get you know, gotto you know, go into all the ins
and outs of what is and whatisn't healthy in those things,
but, um, but having the havingthose kinds of people and being
and being real about it, andthen again, but, but doing the

(01:07:26):
work in each of those areas andin trying to maintain physical
health and not just like justletting it, you know, just
letting it rip during the summer, cause it's like, well, what
else I'm?
Yeah, I'm going to eat.
We need ice cream every nightsuper late.
I mean, yeah, when I was in ata certain time, but you know,
not now.
And so, you know, trying to findsome time for exercise.
Uh, you know physical exercise,bible before phone.

(01:07:47):
You know maintaining.
You know maintaining.
You know you know communicationwith people in my life that are
important, and you know thatkind of thing.
It's just huge, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:55):
I think my big takeaway in all of these areas
is um Chase Alcott is a is aboard member here, your cousin
Titus Weiss, about some of thecustomer training, like customer

(01:08:22):
service training stuff, thatthey do at Chick-fil-A, and I
don't know if you know this ornot, but you know the survey
that you get sometimes after yougo there and you fill out the
survey that you get sometimesafter you go there and you fill
out the survey and you get afree sandwich um, which is the
dream?

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
Oh yeah, are you kidding me?
I?

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
pray for that survey.
Uh, every time I eat there and,uh, he said something that was
so fascinating to me and I justlike it stuck with me and I I
apply this to almost everythingthat I interact with mentally
these days, which probably isn'tgreat.

(01:08:58):
But, um, so you fill out thatsurvey one, two, three, four,
five.
You're rating things, fivebeing the best, one being the at
their restaurants is pass orfail.
Okay, five is pass.
Four, three, two, one are allfail, sheesh.
So if you put five on thatsurvey, then they did what they

(01:09:22):
were supposed to do Heavens andthat's great High standards for
those chicken slingers man.
I know For a fast foodrestaurant, but if you put a
four it's like this was mostlygood but not like the best that
it could have been To them.
That's the same as it being aone, ok, wow.
And I think that is thementality that I approach a lot
of things in my life with.

(01:09:43):
Sure, and maybe the mentalitythat I approach a lot of these
things that we're talking aboutwith, where it's like if my
quiet time with Jesus is not afive, then it's a one, if my
physical health is not a five,then it's a one, if my emotional
health is not a five, then it'sa one.
And I think, just having youuse the word awareness a lot

(01:10:18):
today, just like having theawareness that, like I'm, I have
to hit some fours and somethrees, yeah, um, and that's
okay for a season, uh, becauseit's it's gonna help me continue
, like, keep rhythms that, um,allow me to stay grounded in my
faith, in my relationships, um,and those things.
So that was a really helpfulthing to me, I think.
Good, I don't know, as we, aswe walk through this, Well, it's

(01:10:39):
been helpful for me.

Speaker 2 (01:10:40):
I mean, that's what even you know.
This is kind of an aside, andso I don't know if this makes
the final edit or not, but it's.
Somebody asked me um, lastsummer, the summer before, they
were just like hey, how do youguard against?
Because it was one of our eventstaff actually, and they were
like man, I'm just reallystruggling with being like with
cynicism right now and just likewondering if like this matters,
you know, and they're like howdo you guard against that?
And just like watching these.

(01:11:02):
You know what should be thehighlight of watching these
students respond and make thesedecisions and everything else.
It make these decisions andeverything else it was, it can.
It's funny how that can becomealmost a low when cynicism
starts to creep into your heart.
Um, and I and I and I'm notnaturally given to cynicism, but
it is something that I that Itry to be intentional about
fighting against, and one of thethings is that it goes back to

(01:11:24):
awareness a little bit of justgoing like well, to know that
there is some reality to thatwhere, where life is going to be
different for these people whenthey get home than it is here,
and that's the nature of beingon top of a mountain and then
going down the mountain and lifeand life looks different and
everything else.
But also but, but, if, but, ifyou're aware of it, then you can
, then you can pray in adifferent kinds of way for those

(01:11:44):
people, and you can pray in adifferent kind of way for your
own heart too, and you know, andyou know, lord, guard me
against this, and you canrecognize it quicker and easier.
And yeah, like when you're just, when you're just, it's
alertness, it's awareness, it'svigilance you know vigilance,
vigilance, Vigilance constant,vigilance Constant vigilance.

Speaker 3 (01:12:05):
Who says that?
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
There's a character in Harry Potter that says that
oh, mad-eye Moody, I think itwas Ross Unagi.
There are two kinds of people,people who love friends and
liars, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:12:30):
Oh, this has been a great conversation.
Oh, my goodness, I'm exhaustedfrom it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
You're exhausting yeah, all right.
Well, I took it the right waythat is how I took it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:44):
No, it's just like challenging.

Speaker 2 (01:12:46):
It's good, you know what do you think it's
challenging for me too?

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
yeah, yeah, I think it's great.
Tygo thinks it's great.
Yeah, dude, is it a five or isit a one through a four?
Listen, all I'm saying is, whenChick-fil-A sees me walking
through those doors, they knowthey're getting a fail.
Woof.

Speaker 3 (01:13:04):
Fours across the board baby.
It's funny because I used tofill that survey out like
thinking I was being helpful.

Speaker 1 (01:13:09):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:13:10):
Yeah, like you don't just want to give straight fives
because, like Hopefully intheory you are, huh, oh, being
helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:17):
I guess that's true, but I don't want to be mean.
Sure, I need them.
I need people to like me.
Michael, you know what I mean.
I understand, okay, do I?

Speaker 2 (01:13:30):
do I need to be loved ?
I don't know.
Do I need to be liked?

Speaker 3 (01:13:36):
Okay, well, on that note, season four of beyond the
event is coming to an end.

Speaker 2 (01:13:45):
Man, what a what a time.
I mean memories were made,memories were made, laughs were
shared.
Yeah, mean, memories were madeMemories were made, laughs were
shared.

Speaker 3 (01:13:52):
Yeah, brads were challenged, maybe others too.

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
Herbs were grown.
Herbs were grown, Harvested.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
Not yet.

Speaker 2 (01:14:01):
Harvested in the summer.
Yeah, and remembered andremembered.
Herbs were remembered, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
Backs were adjusted, herbs were remembered All right.
So one last time, before wehead into a crazy summer lane,
you want to read our blessingfor us?

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
I sure do.
May God show you his grace andbless you.
May he make his face shine onyou.
May you experience the love ofChrist, through whom God gives
you fullness of life.
May you be strengthened by hispower.
May Christ himself make hishome in your heart, that you
would be full of his love andgrace, and that those you serve

(01:14:39):
and see Jesus in you.
Amen.

Speaker 3 (01:14:43):
Today's episode was produced by Michael Hester,
Lauren Brian and myself.
Huge thanks to Lane for beinghere and chatting with us about
what's going to be, hopefully, areally awesome summer.
No new episode in two weeks.
We'll be back in August.
In the meantime, you can reachout to us on the CIOI community
Facebook group or by email atpodcast at CIOIcom.

(01:15:04):
Happy summer.
See you next time you.