Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services

Beyond the Facade is a podcast about authenticity and the struggle to be real with ourselves and with others. Each week host Luke Gordon (cofounder of Choose Recovery Services and certified addiction recovery and betrayal trauma coach) and his guests will explore the concepts of integrity and authenticity and how each is essential in building meaningful relationships. Listen in as we explore our own vulnerabilities in order to seek genuine connection to ourselves and to those around us. Join us as we go Beyond the Facade.

Episodes

May 15, 2025 16 mins

What do beliefs have to do with personal growth? This week, Luke explores how ingrained belief systems shape our behaviors, often outside our values, and the steps we can take to rewrite these faulty beliefs. 

Learn how to challenge and replace core beliefs, and discover how doing so can transform your life. 

Chapters

  • 02:17 Understanding Belief Systems

  • 03:11 Defining and Recognizing Beliefs

  • 05:20 The Addictive System and Beliefs

  • 07:5...

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Ever wondered what a full disclosure process entails? This week Luke outlines each stage of full disclosure. 

He breaks down each step from initial inquiry to the post-disclosure phase, offering insights and guidance to help you navigate the complexities of truth-telling and recovery. 

Get our FREE eBook “Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?” delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here!

Listen to our five-pa...

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    How do you define masculinity? In this episode, we explore the inherited beliefs about what it means to be a man and discuss how to reclaim masculinity by embracing vulnerability and authenticity. 

    Discover the intersection of toxic masculinity, recovery, and feminism, and learn practical tools for fostering genuine connections and healing from systemic shame. Join us as we redefine what it truly means to be strong.

    Chapters

    • 03:15...

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    Does it feel like your partner is more likely to take advice from others rather than you? In this episode Alana Gordon (LMFT, founder of Choose Recovery Services, and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke and they unpack the complexities of why men often don’t accept feedback from their partners.

    (Hint: It has a lot to do with shame and values.)

    Chapters

    00:50 The Communication Gap

    02:32 Root Causes

    07:24 Addressing Sh...

  • What does it mean to be masculine? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, CCPS, Director of Choose Recovery Services, and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke and together they explore the line between healthy masculinity and toxic behaviors.

    They shed light on vulnerability, emotional suppression, and how to reclaim a healthier version of manhood. 

    Chapters

    01:28 Defining Masculinity vs. Healthy Masculinity

    06:35 Impact of Toxic Mas...

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    Have you ever wondered why lying feels like a reflex? This week Luke dives deep into the neuroscience and psychology behind dishonesty. 

    Discover how lying serves as a survival mechanism, and learn practical strategies for building boundaries that bring us back into integrity. Through personal stories and expert insights, find out how to manage and reduce dishonest behavior in yourself and your relationships.

    Chapters

    • 01:38 The St...

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    Do you know what happens in your brain when you experience attraction, fantasy, or addictive behaviors? Do you wonder if your thoughts are even normal? This week Luke explains the six levels of sexual response, from initial noticing to compulsive behavior.

    Understand more how your brain works and learn how to think and communicate authentically about your experiences.

    Chapters

    • 01:08 Understanding the Brain

    • 04:52 Awareness and Ackno...

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    Feeling scattered or disconnected from your authentic self? This week Luke is joined by his guest, Darren, and together they delve into the power of daily rituals for stability and self-care. 

    Learn actionable steps to incorporate dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin-enhancing activities into your routine to aid in recovery. Discover the profound impact of intentionality and consistency over perfectionism in your journey towards holist...

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    Have you ever questioned if you're with the right therapist or coach? In this episode Luke welcomes back Gary Katz (LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, and Director at Center for Intimacy Recovery) and together they discuss the essentials of finding the right therapeutic fit, the signs of a good therapeutic relationship, and challenges specific to betrayal trauma and sexual addiction therapy.

    Connect with Gary by visiting his web...

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    Have you ever felt like a part of you is holding you back? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, founder of Choose Recovery Services, and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke, and together they explore the transformative journey of parts work and the power of self-acceptance in healing. Luke courageously shares his own story of how understanding his protective parts led to breakthrough moments in his recovery. 

    Discover po...

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    Have you ever noticed that anger often leads to sexually acting out? In this episode, Luke and guest Gene Huneycutt (Choose Recovery Services coach and storywork practitioner) dive into the rarely discussed link between anger and lust. 

    Through personal stories and insightful commentary, they examine how unresolved anger can fuel sexual acting out, and how recognizing this pattern is essential for stopping the behavior and re...

  • February 20, 2025 39 mins

    This week Alana Gordon (LMFT and co-host of the Choose To Bepodcast) joins Luke as they explore the crucial first step in overcoming compulsive behavior: breaking through denial. 

    Learn about the importance of accepting feedback, taking responsibility, and facing discomfort to become your true self and transform your relationships.

    Chapters

    • 01:03 Breaking Through Denial: The First Step

    • 02:12 Understanding Denial and Levels...

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    February 13, 2025 20 mins

    Sometimes the road to recovery can lead to intense feelings of grief and loss. This week, Luke challenges our understanding of grief by exploring how it shows up in unexpected ways during recovery and transformation. 

    Through personal stories and powerful insights, Luke shows us why letting go of old patterns - even the destructive ones - can feel like losing a familiar friend, but is so necessary when striving to change and heal.

    Ch...

  • This week Luke joins Alana Gordon (co-owner and founder of Choose Recovery Services as well as a licensed marriage and family therapist) on her podcast, Choose To Be. Luke opens up about living with ADHD and demand avoidance.

    Luke and Alana explore how these dynamics impact their interactions and the steps they take to maintain a balanced and empathetic relationship.

    Chapters

    • 04:09 Understanding Demand Avoidance in ADHD

    • 10...

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    January 23, 2025 19 mins

    Do you feel powerless in your relationship? This week Luke explores the roots of resentment and how it often stems from feeling a lack of control.

    Through personal stories and actionable steps, Luke guides you on reclaiming your power and making intentional decisions that align with your values. Discover how to express emotions constructively and build a more authentic relationship with yourself and others.

    Chapters

    01:14 Feedbac...

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    January 17, 2025 14 mins

    This week Luke tackles one of the most challenging aspects of relationships: staying grounded when your partner is triggered. 

    Learn how the CAVR method, focusing on curiosity, isn’t just a communication tool–it’s actually a powerful way to regulate yourself and stay within your window of tolerance during difficult conversations. 

    Chapters

    • 01:32 Introducing the CAVR Tool

    • 02:17 Curiosity Can Help

    • 04:53 Real Life Applicati...

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    January 9, 2025 36 mins

    What if the coping mechanisms you rely on most are actually process addictions in disguise? This week Luke sits down with ⁠Gary Katz⁠, a licensed clinical social worker, certified addiction therapist, and director of the ⁠Center for Intimacy Recovery⁠⁠ in New York. 

    Together they discuss what process addiction is, the role of sobriety when tackling process addictions, and how these addictions can mask root issues that need addressi...

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    January 2, 2025 22 mins

    What is the distinction between self-pity and empathy? Luke explores this crucial difference this week with his guest, Alana Gordon (LMFT, betrayal trauma coach, and Director at Choose Recovery Services).

    Together they discuss how self-pity, often mistaken for genuine remorse, can actually block authentic connection and prevent real healing. Through their personal story of betrayal and recovery, they reveal why well-intentioned att...

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    December 26, 2024 19 mins

    Are you struggling to stay present amidst the chaos of the holiday season? Join Luke as he offers practical tools like grounding exercises, mindfulness strategies, and  gratitude practices to help you reconnect with yourself and those around you. 

    Explore how staying present can transform not only your holiday experience but your journey toward authenticity. 

    Chapters

    • 01:10 The Importance of Presence

    • 01:54 Understanding Som...

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    This week Luke has a powerful conversation with Kevin Meek, a peer mentor to those who are on the path of recovery and healing. 

    Kevin has 13 years of recovery and sobriety from acting out behaviors. Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of 50, Kevin shares his journey, the struggles of masking and camouflaging, and the tools he’s used to foster authentic connections in his relationships.

    Chapters

    • 01:22 Introduci...

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