November 20, 2024 • 19 mins
If you’re feeling stuck or uncertain about your next steps in life or your career, this episode is for you. Transitioning into the civilian sector—whether into corporate roles, education, or even taking a well-deserved break—can feel overwhelming. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to stay that way.
In this episode, I share practical advice and an empowering mindset shift to help you move forward with clarity and confidence. With so many resources and opportunities available, it’s easy to feel paralyzed by choice or uncertainty. I’ll guide you through strategies to focus your efforts and start preparing for your next chapter, especially as we close out the year.
Full show notes here: https://wendiwray.com/246
More about coaching resources from me:
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P.S. If you enjoyed this podcast, I'd love to ask you to follow and leave a quick review. It only takes 30 seconds, but it makes a huge difference to my show. Click here to open Beyond the Military in Apple Podcasts to leave your review.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Wendi (00:05):
Welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, a space for
military women determined tofocus on life outside of the
military.
As a fellow woman veteran whoonce felt lost after leaving the
military, I know firsthand thechallenges that we face.
Hi, my name is Wendi Wray, awoman of God, wife, mom of
(00:25):
three, army veteran.
Life and career coach, and I'mon a mission to equip and
empower women like yourself toexcel in life and career with
confidence.
In this podcast, you'll walkaway with a tool that will help
you navigate your career andlife mentally and emotionally
during and beyond your service.
(00:47):
So if you're ready to go fromstuck to confident, this podcast
is for you.
Loosen up your laces and grab acoffee because it's time to step
up.
Into a new chapter with clarityand confidence.
Hello, and welcome to episode at246.
So today I want to speak to youif you are feeling stuck or
(01:08):
confused in where you are inyour life and your career.
And today the example that I'llgive will be for someone that is
transitioning into the civiliansector.
regardless of what your Nextchapter will look like either in
the corporate sector education,maybe you're just taking a
break.
You're retiring, whatever thatmay be.
(01:29):
I want to encourage you today tostop feeling confused.
And to stop feeling stuck.
And the reason being is becauseit's so easy to go into feeling
confused and feeling stuck andnot wanting or feeling
encouraged to take the next stepand so that's why I want to
(01:51):
speak to you because we are in atime where.
We have so many resourcesavailable.
We have so much information atour fingertips.
I think that that causes alittle bit more of a confusion
because there's so manyresources.
There's so many avenues.
And so I just want to encourageyou today.
And as we are closing out theyear, And for you to prepare, to
(02:15):
start looking and get seriousabout looking at your next
chapter.
Now is a great time, especiallyif you're going to take some
time off within the next 30days, you are going to possibly
spend some time with the family.
This is a great time for you tostill make progress.
So if you haven't tuned into theprevious episode, highly
encourage that you do, because Igo over, the 30 day focus goal
(02:40):
that.
I encourage you to create foryourself so that you don't not
only miss out on opportunities,but also miss out on the time.
That you could be exploring andbe moving in the right direction
when it comes to any change orany growth within your life, in
your career.
So, I want to start off bysaying that.
(03:00):
It's okay.
If you're feeling stuck, ifyou're feeling confused.
It's completely normal, nomatter what we do in life, any
change, any growth we're goingto get a little bit confused in
we're sometimes going to feel alittle stuck because of the
confusion.
and just to define confusionbecause it helps kind of
(03:21):
understand.
Exactly where I am and how I'mfeeling.
And so it's a lack ofunderstanding when we're feeling
confused is because we'relacking some type of
understanding.
And with that comes the feelingof uncertainty.
In what happens when we'reuncertain, we don't typically
want to make.
(03:41):
Decisions right away, becausewe're not fully understood of
what the next step may be.
There's uncertainty.
I have no idea what that mightlook like.
And for some of us, that's goodbecause it it drives us into
looking for that or exploringwhat that could look like.
In being prepared, we try toprepare as much as possible
(04:02):
because that's what we also aretrained to do.
Prepare.
We plan, we prepare and weensure that everything will work
out the way that we planned it.
Right.
We have different courses ofaction, which is great.
But.
There are going to be momentswhere you are so confused and
you will completely go into astandstill and you're just going
(04:23):
to not want to even pursuelearning more about what that
next thing could look like.
So I want to share somethinglike there and just say that
it's listen.
It's completely okay.
Everyone goes through this.
We all get a little confused.
We all get a little stucksometimes.
But I want to encourage you,especially during this time, as
we're closing out the year.
(04:44):
That you still take time tofocus on.
Your next chapter, they, youstill take time to focus on your
next move.
And again, this could apply toany area of your life.
So if you're, Feeling confusedabout, your significant other
or, your, next.
Duty station where you're goingto PCs, where you going to
(05:06):
actually move to anotherstation.
Do we station then?
I get it.
This happens.
This is normal.
So I just want to say that,start off by saying that this is
okay.
Give yourself some grace.
Especially when you're wearingso many hats and here's the
other thing.
We want to sometimes say I'mgoing to take care of everybody
else and then put my, Growth mycareer to the side.
(05:30):
And listen, there's nothingwrong with you, following your
husband his career, I'm notsaying not to do that.
What I'm saying here is to alsonot forget about your career.
Especially if you're dualmilitary, right.
And, your husband is still inand, you're getting out then you
still want to be able to look atthe big picture, right?
Like where do I want to be inthe next three to five years?
(05:52):
Maybe not immediately in thenext six months, but where do I
want to be?
And so this is why I encourageeveryone to start where you are
and give yourself some grace andstart planning and start
executing on what those thingswill look like.
Right.
Because if we don't, we're goingto put at the very bottom of our
list and we're just not going toget to it.
(06:14):
And then two years, we're goingto go by and you're like, oh my
gosh, I didn't start my master'sdegree.
I had my GI bill or I had mytuition assistance or I had my
post 9 11 and now two years havegone by, and I've been feeling
confused and stuck for the lasttwo years because you haven't
revisited it.
And so today my goal for you.
(06:34):
Is in these short minutes toencourage you to look at this
from a different lens.
And also.
For you to start moving in theright direction.
Very similar to the last twoepisodes.
But I want you to start fromwhere you are.
Because here's what happens.
We tend to then.
(06:57):
lack confidence in what's next.
We tend to then.
Build on the.
Self doubt.
And so then we start lacking inconfidence, So when we're
getting out of the military welack confidence because we have
(07:17):
no idea what's how we're goingto do in the next chapter of our
lives.
Right.
Because while we were in themilitary, we felt confident
because we were there for Xamount of years.
We had Proven to ourselves thatwe were capable of doing our
job, right.
Like actually following throughin getting the job done.
(07:40):
But also.
We let confidence as we'regetting out, because now we're
like, okay, well, what's next.
I have no idea what I want todo.
And that immediately signalsyour brain of like, okay.
You know what you're going todo.
It's not going to work.
Or it is going to work, butyou're not going to perform
(08:00):
well.
Our perform as good as he did itin this field, in this area.
And so in order for you to startto move into more confident, I
want to give you.
This quick exercise for you todo and this is going to help you
build on your confidence now.
(08:21):
Let's just say your confidenceright now is a two out of 10.
You're at a two, and you'relike, I have no idea if I'm
going to be a great projectmanager.
Or if I'm going to be the best,logistics manager out there, or
whatever you're pursuing.
And I want you to do thisexercise.
So if you're driving, if youdon't have time right now, come
back to this episode.
(08:42):
And I promise you, I won't takeyou no more than 10 minutes and
you can take longer if you'dlike, but I encourage you to
come back to this, which is yourself-concept.
This is.
What I want you to focus on atthe very beginning.
When you are looking into adifferent career, when you're
looking into degrees, whenyou're looking into
apprenticeships, when you'relooking into skill bridge
(09:04):
programs, When you're lookinginto your certifications that
you want to get or pursue.
I want you to come back to thisself concept exercise.
And I've broken it down intotwo.
To kind of questions for you tosee.
The big picture of yourself-concept.
(09:25):
Because what happens is weforget about what, who we are
and what we bring to the table.
And so this self-conceptexercise is just going to be a
reminder.
For you of who you are, what youbring to the table and how you
can be a value in the nextchapter.
(09:45):
Because we always forget aboutthe value that we bring and how
we're going to serve others.
When in reality, that's all wedo in the military.
Right.
We serve.
Our teams, we serve ourorganization.
We serve our soldiers or Marinesour airman.
And so I want to encourage youtoday to start there.
(10:06):
If you're like Wendi, I have noidea what I'm going to do.
I have no idea if I'm going togo to school first, or if I'm
going to go get a job, or if I'mgoing to just take a knee for a
year, six months, whatever itmay be.
I want you to start here.
And I want you and encourage youto do this as soon as possible,
(10:27):
because then you're, you'regoing to start.
To filling courage.
You're going to start to feelconfident in the possibility.
Of what the chapter next chapterwill look like.
And so here's the firstquestion.
And I want you to be honest withyourself too.
So there's no, I don't want youto think of like, oh, this is
(10:47):
who I could be.
Or who I would want to be as aleader now, like who you are.
So that's question number one,who you are.
What are your values?
As a leader.
Or as a subject matter.
Expert in your field.
So, for example, for me, I was ahuman resources manager.
(11:09):
I got my master's degree inthat.
But most importantly, my values.
Really stemmed from.
Just believing in people.
And trusting people and it wasall around.
People.
The thing that drives me isknowing that people are getting
(11:30):
taken care of.
I value people.
I like to encourage, I likepeople to grow.
I like to see that.
And so for me, that is mydriver, right?
I'm going to continue to focuson people.
And that's exactly what I'mdoing now in my career.
And so I want you to answer thequestion for yourself.
(11:52):
Who are you as a leader?
Or as a professional.
What are your values?
Integrity?
Like what is it?
Is it serving?
Is it, Just.
You being responsible.
For an entity or anorganization.
Or if you are a Smee in yourfield, right.
(12:13):
If you're a subject, matterexpert.
Are you.
Already someone that has acertification, a degree.
Is that what drives you?
Now if you're like, when y'allwant to do nothing.
that I did when I was in themilitary.
Then.
what else are you great at?
What else are you an expert in?
(12:34):
That you have a ton ofexperience in.
That you want to pursue?
For example, it could beleadership.
It could just be management.
It could be that simple.
What drives you from that?
Standpoint.
Is it the will being the welfareof other people.
Is it possibly., the whole, theorganization.
(12:55):
Is growing.
Or the performance, right?
What is it for you?
So describe who you are as aleader.
And again, be honest withyourself.
This is going to set the tone.
Two then.
The next question, which is yourvalue.
What are the skills?
That you bring to the tablebased on your experience, based
(13:19):
on the experience that yourequired while you were in.
And this could also be your softskills, right?
It could be as simple as,adaptability, leadership,
emotional intelligence.
Time management and you may begreat at problem solving.
I think we all are when we, whenit comes to serving in the
military.
(13:39):
We become great.
Problem-solvers, we'll figure itout and we'd become resourceful.
That could be another scale,right?
And so when you look at this.
I want you to remind yourselflike this is your foundation,
this is your value that youbring.
And yes, somebody else may bringthe similar value.
But you want to be able tocommunicate this out loud?
(14:03):
You want to look at this?
Review it, and then.
Possibly, you already had likefive different jobs.
Have an idea of what you wantedto do.
Right?
So for example, you're like,okay, one I could possibly do
project management.
I could possibly go to., Getinto operations.
I could possibly go into HR.
When you look at these values,when you look at what drives
(14:27):
you.
The skills that you bring to thetable.
Then you can look at that.
Right then you can say, okay.
This is what a project managerneeds for skills.
These are the competencies.
Here's what they will need.
Based on my experience here inthe soft skills.
Is it something that I can besuccessful in that it's going to
be, beneficial for me for thenext three to five years.
(14:49):
If the answer is yes, then yes.
Pursuing, keep looking.
But I also want you to have thisas a starting point for you to
consider other opportunities,right?
So then what you want to do islook at this right.
Look at.
Everything.
That you've described aboutyourself, your skills.
(15:10):
And even the growth, right?
I want you to go back like.
From whenever you started themilitary.
So for me, it was five yearsthat I was in.
If I were to.
Go in.
Go back.
Five years and look at where Istarted to where I was when I
was getting out of the military.
It was mind blowing.
Like I went from this timid.
(15:33):
Quiet leader.
To win.
I was at Fort drum because FortLiberty.
Fort Bragg.
They literally.
You have to survive there inorder for you to survive, you
have to communicate and you haveto become.
I'm assertive.
And you have to be confidentwhen you speak to anyone in that
(15:53):
organization.
And so that helped me become notonly more confident.
But it helped me.
With my decision-making.
And it helped me to be moreassertive and helped me to
become this individual that knewexactly what I wanted to say.
Communicate.
So that we could be successful.
(16:14):
So if I went back all the skillsthat I acquired.
One of them being communication,right.
Communicating not only throughemail, but also in person.
And communicating in differentways.
And so at different levels,right?
I was first working.
Four.
A Lieutenant Colonel in oh five.
(16:36):
As I got into my third.
Year, I then started working atthe court level.
So my immediate boss.
Was he full bird Colonel?
And well, a major for kernel andthat you want.
And then we worked for athree-star.
So, again, all of that growththat I had acquired in the first
(16:57):
three years of my career washuge.
And so looking at how I couldthen translate into the civilian
sector really blew my mindbecause I was literally
communicating to executives.
And.
Communication is key andeverywhere you go.
Right.
So I want you to look at thatand highlight the growth that
(17:18):
you've had throughout yourcareer.
And remind yourself.
That you will now continue tobuild on to this.
Self-concept.
And you're also going into a newenvironment.
So how can you use your selfconcept that you have now, which
is who you are, your value thatyou bring.
(17:38):
Into the new self concept thatyou're building, which you have
no idea of right now, or maybeyou do if you do great.
But if you don't, that'scompletely fine.
You want to start to think abouthow can I use this self concept
into this new identity that I'mgoing into?
You already had the experience.
You have the skills.
You know, what drives you?
And that is key.
(17:59):
When you go into anything new.
When you think that.
It will be completely uncertainbecause sometimes it will.
Right.
We don't know everything.
We don't know exactly.
Even if we plan it, we are notcertain.
But what we can do is createcertainty in who we are you
already have the experience.
You may have a degree.
You already have the, Thecertifications, whatever it may
(18:22):
be for you.
You can create that certaintythat you can take that can, you
can take who you are, the valuethat you bring.
And place yourself anywhere.
And be successful.
So I want to encourage youtoday.
To look at that.
And focus in.
On this new self concept, Go allin on what that could look like
(18:46):
in this next opportunity.
But I want them courage you tostop feeling confused.
To possibly get unstuck, right.
And then move in the rightdirection.
So that you could feel moreconfident in build that
confidence into this newself-concept.
Because listen, you alreadyhave.
(19:07):
Most of what the civilian sectorneeds.
Based on your militaryexperience.
All right.
Let's not overcomplicate thisstay focused.
Answer these two questions.
Don't take more than 10 minutes.
And keep it moving.
All right.
Probably a beautiful rest ofyour week.
Bye.
Hey lady, if this podcast helpedyou, challenged you or inspired
(19:29):
you in some way, please leave mea written review for the show on
Apple Podcasts and share it withanother military sister.
I'm so blessed that you are hereand please join us in the women
community on Facebook at bit.
ly forward slash beyond themilitary GRP.
Again, it is.
Bitly beyond the military GRP.
All right.
(19:49):
Talk to you soon.
Bye
Welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, a space for
military women determined tofocus on life outside of the
military.
As a fellow woman veteran whoonce felt lost after leaving the
military, I know firsthand thechallenges that we face.
Hi, my name is Wendi Wray, awoman of God, wife, mom of
(00:25):
three, army veteran.
Life and career coach, and I'mon a mission to equip and
empower women like yourself toexcel in life and career with
confidence.
In this podcast, you'll walkaway with a tool that will help
you navigate your career andlife mentally and emotionally
during and beyond your service.
(00:47):
So if you're ready to go fromstuck to confident, this podcast
is for you.
Loosen up your laces and grab acoffee because it's time to step
up.
Into a new chapter with clarityand confidence.
Hello, and welcome to episode at246.
So today I want to speak to youif you are feeling stuck or
(01:08):
confused in where you are inyour life and your career.
And today the example that I'llgive will be for someone that is
transitioning into the civiliansector.
regardless of what your Nextchapter will look like either in
the corporate sector education,maybe you're just taking a
break.
You're retiring, whatever thatmay be.
(01:29):
I want to encourage you today tostop feeling confused.
And to stop feeling stuck.
And the reason being is becauseit's so easy to go into feeling
confused and feeling stuck andnot wanting or feeling
encouraged to take the next stepand so that's why I want to
(01:51):
speak to you because we are in atime where.
We have so many resourcesavailable.
We have so much information atour fingertips.
I think that that causes alittle bit more of a confusion
because there's so manyresources.
There's so many avenues.
And so I just want to encourageyou today.
And as we are closing out theyear, And for you to prepare, to
(02:15):
start looking and get seriousabout looking at your next
chapter.
Now is a great time, especiallyif you're going to take some
time off within the next 30days, you are going to possibly
spend some time with the family.
This is a great time for you tostill make progress.
So if you haven't tuned into theprevious episode, highly
encourage that you do, because Igo over, the 30 day focus goal
(02:40):
that.
I encourage you to create foryourself so that you don't not
only miss out on opportunities,but also miss out on the time.
That you could be exploring andbe moving in the right direction
when it comes to any change orany growth within your life, in
your career.
So, I want to start off bysaying that.
(03:00):
It's okay.
If you're feeling stuck, ifyou're feeling confused.
It's completely normal, nomatter what we do in life, any
change, any growth we're goingto get a little bit confused in
we're sometimes going to feel alittle stuck because of the
confusion.
and just to define confusionbecause it helps kind of
(03:21):
understand.
Exactly where I am and how I'mfeeling.
And so it's a lack ofunderstanding when we're feeling
confused is because we'relacking some type of
understanding.
And with that comes the feelingof uncertainty.
In what happens when we'reuncertain, we don't typically
want to make.
(03:41):
Decisions right away, becausewe're not fully understood of
what the next step may be.
There's uncertainty.
I have no idea what that mightlook like.
And for some of us, that's goodbecause it it drives us into
looking for that or exploringwhat that could look like.
In being prepared, we try toprepare as much as possible
(04:02):
because that's what we also aretrained to do.
Prepare.
We plan, we prepare and weensure that everything will work
out the way that we planned it.
Right.
We have different courses ofaction, which is great.
But.
There are going to be momentswhere you are so confused and
you will completely go into astandstill and you're just going
(04:23):
to not want to even pursuelearning more about what that
next thing could look like.
So I want to share somethinglike there and just say that
it's listen.
It's completely okay.
Everyone goes through this.
We all get a little confused.
We all get a little stucksometimes.
But I want to encourage you,especially during this time, as
we're closing out the year.
(04:44):
That you still take time tofocus on.
Your next chapter, they, youstill take time to focus on your
next move.
And again, this could apply toany area of your life.
So if you're, Feeling confusedabout, your significant other
or, your, next.
Duty station where you're goingto PCs, where you going to
(05:06):
actually move to anotherstation.
Do we station then?
I get it.
This happens.
This is normal.
So I just want to say that,start off by saying that this is
okay.
Give yourself some grace.
Especially when you're wearingso many hats and here's the
other thing.
We want to sometimes say I'mgoing to take care of everybody
else and then put my, Growth mycareer to the side.
(05:30):
And listen, there's nothingwrong with you, following your
husband his career, I'm notsaying not to do that.
What I'm saying here is to alsonot forget about your career.
Especially if you're dualmilitary, right.
And, your husband is still inand, you're getting out then you
still want to be able to look atthe big picture, right?
Like where do I want to be inthe next three to five years?
(05:52):
Maybe not immediately in thenext six months, but where do I
want to be?
And so this is why I encourageeveryone to start where you are
and give yourself some grace andstart planning and start
executing on what those thingswill look like.
Right.
Because if we don't, we're goingto put at the very bottom of our
list and we're just not going toget to it.
(06:14):
And then two years, we're goingto go by and you're like, oh my
gosh, I didn't start my master'sdegree.
I had my GI bill or I had mytuition assistance or I had my
post 9 11 and now two years havegone by, and I've been feeling
confused and stuck for the lasttwo years because you haven't
revisited it.
And so today my goal for you.
(06:34):
Is in these short minutes toencourage you to look at this
from a different lens.
And also.
For you to start moving in theright direction.
Very similar to the last twoepisodes.
But I want you to start fromwhere you are.
Because here's what happens.
We tend to then.
(06:57):
lack confidence in what's next.
We tend to then.
Build on the.
Self doubt.
And so then we start lacking inconfidence, So when we're
getting out of the military welack confidence because we have
(07:17):
no idea what's how we're goingto do in the next chapter of our
lives.
Right.
Because while we were in themilitary, we felt confident
because we were there for Xamount of years.
We had Proven to ourselves thatwe were capable of doing our
job, right.
Like actually following throughin getting the job done.
(07:40):
But also.
We let confidence as we'regetting out, because now we're
like, okay, well, what's next.
I have no idea what I want todo.
And that immediately signalsyour brain of like, okay.
You know what you're going todo.
It's not going to work.
Or it is going to work, butyou're not going to perform
(08:00):
well.
Our perform as good as he did itin this field, in this area.
And so in order for you to startto move into more confident, I
want to give you.
This quick exercise for you todo and this is going to help you
build on your confidence now.
(08:21):
Let's just say your confidenceright now is a two out of 10.
You're at a two, and you'relike, I have no idea if I'm
going to be a great projectmanager.
Or if I'm going to be the best,logistics manager out there, or
whatever you're pursuing.
And I want you to do thisexercise.
So if you're driving, if youdon't have time right now, come
back to this episode.
(08:42):
And I promise you, I won't takeyou no more than 10 minutes and
you can take longer if you'dlike, but I encourage you to
come back to this, which is yourself-concept.
This is.
What I want you to focus on atthe very beginning.
When you are looking into adifferent career, when you're
looking into degrees, whenyou're looking into
apprenticeships, when you'relooking into skill bridge
(09:04):
programs, When you're lookinginto your certifications that
you want to get or pursue.
I want you to come back to thisself concept exercise.
And I've broken it down intotwo.
To kind of questions for you tosee.
The big picture of yourself-concept.
(09:25):
Because what happens is weforget about what, who we are
and what we bring to the table.
And so this self-conceptexercise is just going to be a
reminder.
For you of who you are, what youbring to the table and how you
can be a value in the nextchapter.
(09:45):
Because we always forget aboutthe value that we bring and how
we're going to serve others.
When in reality, that's all wedo in the military.
Right.
We serve.
Our teams, we serve ourorganization.
We serve our soldiers or Marinesour airman.
And so I want to encourage youtoday to start there.
(10:06):
If you're like Wendi, I have noidea what I'm going to do.
I have no idea if I'm going togo to school first, or if I'm
going to go get a job, or if I'mgoing to just take a knee for a
year, six months, whatever itmay be.
I want you to start here.
And I want you and encourage youto do this as soon as possible,
(10:27):
because then you're, you'regoing to start.
To filling courage.
You're going to start to feelconfident in the possibility.
Of what the chapter next chapterwill look like.
And so here's the firstquestion.
And I want you to be honest withyourself too.
So there's no, I don't want youto think of like, oh, this is
(10:47):
who I could be.
Or who I would want to be as aleader now, like who you are.
So that's question number one,who you are.
What are your values?
As a leader.
Or as a subject matter.
Expert in your field.
So, for example, for me, I was ahuman resources manager.
(11:09):
I got my master's degree inthat.
But most importantly, my values.
Really stemmed from.
Just believing in people.
And trusting people and it wasall around.
People.
The thing that drives me isknowing that people are getting
(11:30):
taken care of.
I value people.
I like to encourage, I likepeople to grow.
I like to see that.
And so for me, that is mydriver, right?
I'm going to continue to focuson people.
And that's exactly what I'mdoing now in my career.
And so I want you to answer thequestion for yourself.
(11:52):
Who are you as a leader?
Or as a professional.
What are your values?
Integrity?
Like what is it?
Is it serving?
Is it, Just.
You being responsible.
For an entity or anorganization.
Or if you are a Smee in yourfield, right.
(12:13):
If you're a subject, matterexpert.
Are you.
Already someone that has acertification, a degree.
Is that what drives you?
Now if you're like, when y'allwant to do nothing.
that I did when I was in themilitary.
Then.
what else are you great at?
What else are you an expert in?
(12:34):
That you have a ton ofexperience in.
That you want to pursue?
For example, it could beleadership.
It could just be management.
It could be that simple.
What drives you from that?
Standpoint.
Is it the will being the welfareof other people.
Is it possibly., the whole, theorganization.
(12:55):
Is growing.
Or the performance, right?
What is it for you?
So describe who you are as aleader.
And again, be honest withyourself.
This is going to set the tone.
Two then.
The next question, which is yourvalue.
What are the skills?
That you bring to the tablebased on your experience, based
(13:19):
on the experience that yourequired while you were in.
And this could also be your softskills, right?
It could be as simple as,adaptability, leadership,
emotional intelligence.
Time management and you may begreat at problem solving.
I think we all are when we, whenit comes to serving in the
military.
(13:39):
We become great.
Problem-solvers, we'll figure itout and we'd become resourceful.
That could be another scale,right?
And so when you look at this.
I want you to remind yourselflike this is your foundation,
this is your value that youbring.
And yes, somebody else may bringthe similar value.
But you want to be able tocommunicate this out loud?
(14:03):
You want to look at this?
Review it, and then.
Possibly, you already had likefive different jobs.
Have an idea of what you wantedto do.
Right?
So for example, you're like,okay, one I could possibly do
project management.
I could possibly go to., Getinto operations.
I could possibly go into HR.
When you look at these values,when you look at what drives
(14:27):
you.
The skills that you bring to thetable.
Then you can look at that.
Right then you can say, okay.
This is what a project managerneeds for skills.
These are the competencies.
Here's what they will need.
Based on my experience here inthe soft skills.
Is it something that I can besuccessful in that it's going to
be, beneficial for me for thenext three to five years.
(14:49):
If the answer is yes, then yes.
Pursuing, keep looking.
But I also want you to have thisas a starting point for you to
consider other opportunities,right?
So then what you want to do islook at this right.
Look at.
Everything.
That you've described aboutyourself, your skills.
(15:10):
And even the growth, right?
I want you to go back like.
From whenever you started themilitary.
So for me, it was five yearsthat I was in.
If I were to.
Go in.
Go back.
Five years and look at where Istarted to where I was when I
was getting out of the military.
It was mind blowing.
Like I went from this timid.
(15:33):
Quiet leader.
To win.
I was at Fort drum because FortLiberty.
Fort Bragg.
They literally.
You have to survive there inorder for you to survive, you
have to communicate and you haveto become.
I'm assertive.
And you have to be confidentwhen you speak to anyone in that
(15:53):
organization.
And so that helped me become notonly more confident.
But it helped me.
With my decision-making.
And it helped me to be moreassertive and helped me to
become this individual that knewexactly what I wanted to say.
Communicate.
So that we could be successful.
(16:14):
So if I went back all the skillsthat I acquired.
One of them being communication,right.
Communicating not only throughemail, but also in person.
And communicating in differentways.
And so at different levels,right?
I was first working.
Four.
A Lieutenant Colonel in oh five.
(16:36):
As I got into my third.
Year, I then started working atthe court level.
So my immediate boss.
Was he full bird Colonel?
And well, a major for kernel andthat you want.
And then we worked for athree-star.
So, again, all of that growththat I had acquired in the first
(16:57):
three years of my career washuge.
And so looking at how I couldthen translate into the civilian
sector really blew my mindbecause I was literally
communicating to executives.
And.
Communication is key andeverywhere you go.
Right.
So I want you to look at thatand highlight the growth that
(17:18):
you've had throughout yourcareer.
And remind yourself.
That you will now continue tobuild on to this.
Self-concept.
And you're also going into a newenvironment.
So how can you use your selfconcept that you have now, which
is who you are, your value thatyou bring.
(17:38):
Into the new self concept thatyou're building, which you have
no idea of right now, or maybeyou do if you do great.
But if you don't, that'scompletely fine.
You want to start to think abouthow can I use this self concept
into this new identity that I'mgoing into?
You already had the experience.
You have the skills.
You know, what drives you?
And that is key.
(17:59):
When you go into anything new.
When you think that.
It will be completely uncertainbecause sometimes it will.
Right.
We don't know everything.
We don't know exactly.
Even if we plan it, we are notcertain.
But what we can do is createcertainty in who we are you
already have the experience.
You may have a degree.
You already have the, Thecertifications, whatever it may
(18:22):
be for you.
You can create that certaintythat you can take that can, you
can take who you are, the valuethat you bring.
And place yourself anywhere.
And be successful.
So I want to encourage youtoday.
To look at that.
And focus in.
On this new self concept, Go allin on what that could look like
(18:46):
in this next opportunity.
But I want them courage you tostop feeling confused.
To possibly get unstuck, right.
And then move in the rightdirection.
So that you could feel moreconfident in build that
confidence into this newself-concept.
Because listen, you alreadyhave.
(19:07):
Most of what the civilian sectorneeds.
Based on your militaryexperience.
All right.
Let's not overcomplicate thisstay focused.
Answer these two questions.
Don't take more than 10 minutes.
And keep it moving.
All right.
Probably a beautiful rest ofyour week.
Bye.
Hey lady, if this podcast helpedyou, challenged you or inspired
(19:29):
you in some way, please leave mea written review for the show on
Apple Podcasts and share it withanother military sister.
I'm so blessed that you are hereand please join us in the women
community on Facebook at bit.
ly forward slash beyond themilitary GRP.
Again, it is.
Bitly beyond the military GRP.
All right.
(19:49):
Talk to you soon.
Bye
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