November 27, 2024 • 19 mins
A challenge many service members face when transitioning out of the military: rediscovering a sense of purpose.
Drawing from my personal experience, conversations with veterans, and listener interactions, I shares actionable steps to reconnect with purpose, build meaningful relationships, and embrace the transition with intentionality and courage.
Whether you're contemplating your transition or already navigating civilian life, this episode is for you! I give you practical advice and encouragement to help you find fulfillment in your next chapter.
Full show notes here: https://wendiwray.com/247
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Wendi (00:00):
Welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, a space for
military women determined tofocus on life outside of the
military.
As a woman veteran who once feltlost after leaving the military,
I know firsthand the challengesthat we face.
Hi, my name is Wendy Ray, awoman of God, wife, mom of
(00:20):
three, army veteran.
Life and career coach, and I'mon a mission to equip and
empower women like yourself toexcel in life and career with
confidence.
So if you're ready to go fromstuck to confident, this podcast
is for you.
Hello, and welcome to episode247.
(00:41):
So today I all want to sharewith you all a common theme, a
topic that I've been getting alot through, just.
Random conversations that I'vebeen having at with strangers at
the store.
With DMS that I've been havingon LinkedIn and even free
consultations.
So.
I want to just take a moment andtalk to you about.
(01:02):
Our sense of purpose, your senseof purpose.
That comes up as you'retransitioning out of the
military, this comes up a lot.
And even when you're thinkingabout the transition, you're
like, what am I going to do thatit's going to drive me or that
it's going to help me feel thesense of like purpose and be
purposeful and.
You know, step into that.
(01:23):
And so I want to start off byone, given Joshua shout out, he
actually was the icing on thecake when I was making out my
outline.
And I asked him what was one ofhis challenges and the main
challenge that he brought up wasmissing his sense of purpose
after serving in the militaryfor after 26 years.
(01:44):
So Joshua, thank you so muchfor, just confirming that I
needed to talk about this as hewas the last one that just said,
okay, you know what, I'm justgoing to talk about this because
this is something that we dostruggle.
I struggled with it.
We all struggle with it,especially if you are in already
for over six years.
I think that it's, it gets evenworse because you've been in an
environment.
Where that's all, you know, andyou have this idea of service,
(02:09):
right?
And then this idea of service,we think that it only comes
through you serving yourcountry.
And so today I just want toemphasize and encourage you.
Two.
Figure out what that could looklike.
And again, it doesn't it'slisten, it's not going to be
perfect.
You're not going to know thebeginning to end.
You're not going to know all thedetails.
Okay.
That's one of the things that weas military folks want to do, we
(02:30):
want to plan everything.
Six months out, 90 days out andhave everything.
Lined up and 30 differentcourses of action.
And I want to say today thatit's not going to work that way.
And the way that you can startthe main thing that you need to
focus on.
And I know you've heard thisbefore, but I'm going to say it
again and I'm hoping.
That it blesses you and they,you go out and start taking
(02:53):
action today.
And when the time, this episodepublishes is actually going to
be the day before Thanksgiving.
And so I want to encourage youto take action, especially
within your family or within thecommunity that you'll be
spending time, this Thanksgivingand so.
The one thing that I alwaysencourage people to do when
(03:13):
they're like, oh my gosh, Idon't know how I'm going to find
any purpose or meaning.
When I go into an you.
Another career.
Into another field.
And this is what I alwaysencourage people to do.
Is to.
One, if I'm just going to startwith this, if you're a believer,
if you're a woman of faith, ifyou're someone that actually has
(03:35):
a faith foundation, I encourageyou to pray about it.
That's the one thing that Ialways encourage all my women
that are believers.
You need to continue to ask God,ask the holy spirit to guide
you.
On.
Who he is going to connect youintentionally because he's so
intentional to help you figurethat out.
But if you're not a believer andyou're like, Hey, I just, you
(03:57):
know, I have no idea.
You know where to begin and Ijust need something right now.
I need something to help me.
Kind of figure that out.
This is the one thing that Ihave told many people that are
getting out, men, women.
Even strangers at the storewhere I just say you have to
start connecting with otherhumans.
(04:19):
That are possibly.
Not in the similar boat as you,or that are in different
situations, in different fields.
Because then you get to learnabout different things.
And so here's what I mean about.
You connecting if you're stillin the military.
And let's just say that you'relike, Hey, I'm thinking about
the transition, but I don't knowexactly when I'm going to send
(04:40):
out my packet when I'm going toretire or when I'm going to, you
know, I still have 10 years toretire five years or whatever
that might look like.
You need to start connectingnow.
And here's why.
So just a quick story about howI ended up.
Hearing about podcasts.
And I was at Fort drum.
New York and one of my companycommanders, because again, I've
(05:00):
always Building relationships iskind of like my thing as.
As I was growing up because Iwas an only child.
So for me it was,, how do I makea new friend at school?
And so when it came to becomingan adult and everything, it
became easier for me to buildrelationships easily.
And early, getting curious aboutwhat moves people?
What they like, what they don'tlike, what makes them tick all
(05:22):
these other things.
And I'm also a questioner.
Like I love to ask questions andI won't hesitate to ask
questions because that's just ahelps me learn and it helps me
understand better and so when Iwas the S1 At Fort drum, I in
any unit.
I built relationships witheveryone.
I mean, from the person inprocessing all the way to my
(05:43):
brigade commander, whomever, Iliterally reported to.
And so one of my companycommanders, phenomenal woman,
phenomenal leader, Justine.
If you're listening to this.
She was the one that.
Actually, we had a call, we'rehaving a conversation and she
said, Hey, I recommend that youlisten to this episode, this
podcast episode, I'm like, whatis a podcast?
(06:04):
Like, what is this.
But again, we had built thisrelationship and we had, you
know, gotten into having aconversation about what I was
struggling with and so on and soforth.
And she said, Hey, listen tothis episode.
And so that's when I firstlearned about podcast episodes.
If I wouldn't have learned inthat time.
About a podcast episode.
(06:26):
I probably wouldn't have neverlearned about podcast up until
maybe a year later after gettingout.
And this is really what startedthe foundation of this podcast
too, because it helped me see.
In realize that.
There's a platform that you canuse.
(06:48):
To encourage, to motivate, toshare your message, to teach
whatever it may be.
On this platform.
And so I learned about that.
Starting listening to podcastsepisodes.
Then got into audio books,started learning in that way.
As it was still very new.
And so all of these things, allof these relationships, and this
(07:08):
is just the one example.
Have led me into differentopportunities that I've never.
Ever would have thought aboutthe program that I went through.
I mean, I'm going toopportunity.
Um, the other program that Iwent through that helped me go
through so many interviews,expose me into different career
fields, career opportunities.
(07:29):
It was because someone mentionedit to me.
Because someone said, Hey, youneed to check out this program.
Hey, you need check out thispodcast.
Hey, you need to check out thiscertification.
Hey, you need to talk to thisperson.
And even the most recent, Iactually just got done with a
certification in a group programbecause someone recommended it
to me, had no idea that thisprogram was available.
(07:51):
And so all of that to say, Thatyou need to build.
Relationships while you're stillin.
And not only internally.
So not only with militarypeople, not only with military
leaders, not only your mentors.
But you need it to reach out andyes, this can be a family
member.
(08:11):
You can reach out to your uncle,to your cousin and just have a
conversation say, Hey, I just,you know, have a quick question
for you.
I know that you're in thisindustry, you know, what is,
what's it like, how did you getinto this role?
Like, what do you like about it?
And so as you're askingquestions and you're connecting
with people, You're makinggenuine connections.
Those relationships are going tobe more meaningful when they're
(08:33):
going to be deeper.
And they're going to think aboutyou.
When they're talking to otherindividuals.
Because here's the thing about.
People.
They will remember you.
And I think we've seen thisquote everywhere.
Not based on like what you know,or anything, but how you made me
feel.
And so if you can build agenuine connection, if you can
(08:53):
reach out to, especially when itcomes to saying, Hey, I would
like your feedback, or I wouldlike your help on this one
thing.
And all that.
Sometimes we take it overboardand we take it to our head and
we're like, oh, we don't needany help.
I have enough friends.
I don't have time for this.
But here's the truth.
Here's the reality.
People want to help you one andthen two.
(09:15):
People.
No other people that you had noidea about.
Trust me, like I go through thisall the time.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
I did not know.
You knew about this field orsomeone that knows about this
field.
And I get referred to them.
Another great example.
I'm connected with AmandaHuffman.
She is a podcast host for womenin the military.
(09:37):
And thanks to her podcastplatform.
She was able to create thismentorship program.
And I have a mentee and she isphenomenal.
And if it wasn't for Amanda'spodcast, if it wasn't for me and
Amanda connecting and me saying,yes, I want to participate in
(09:59):
this mentoring program.
And so again, so many peoplethat are out there willing to
help you and connect you.
And the bigger picture of thisis that.
This is what's going to helpyou.
To figure out sense of purpose.
Because that's exactly whathappened to me.
(10:20):
Right.
And I'm like, okay, how can Icontinue to serve and give back?
It literally started when I wasa recruiter.
How can I help you?
In a way where it's beneficialfor you to transition.
And so that's where it stemmed.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I could dothis.
And do it through a podcastsbecause this is a new tool and a
platform and that is what gaveme my sense of purpose.
(10:42):
Now at the time I wasn'tworking.
And here's what I also want tosay.
About this.
Building relationships,connecting with people is going
to help you see that it's not,the job responsibility.
To do that for you.
And I think that we think in ourbrain that, okay, this job how's
this job going to bring me thesense of purpose.
(11:03):
No, that's not the job or thatroles responsibility.
You as a leader, need to takeresponsibility.
For your own sense of of purposeso how are you going to find
that within that industry?
And again, this is why it's soimportant.
For you to start early on,connecting with people.
Reaching out on what they'redoing in this industry?
(11:24):
How has this program managerrole.
How does learning anddevelopment role, how was this
project management role supplychain manager.
Sales opportunities.
So when you're connecting, theywill tell you they will share
their journey and they weresharing exactly what is driving
them.
Right.
And we not be.
The specific job that they do.
But he might be what the companybelieves in.
(11:46):
They might be what their team.
Is going for as an impact and togive you another example.
When I was, looking for a careerroles in the civilian sector, it
wasn't about, oh, I need to, youknow, finding my purpose or my
sense of purpose in that job.
It was more so of like, okay,how can I come in here?
(12:08):
Provide the value.
The service, my skills.
Everything that I bring to thetable as Wendi as a leader not
my rank but how can I bringvalue?
How can I serve this team?
Just as I served when I was inthe military.
How can I literally be this now,you know, five years in.
(12:34):
And for you maybe 20 years,right?
This disciplined.
This assertive.
This resilient soldier, thisresilient.
Adaptable Marine.
How can you now show up in thatway?
And I promise you, if you comein with this mentality and this
perspective of.
I am going to figure out.
(12:55):
I purpose.
I'm not going to let or havethis responsibility on the job
or my supervisor to provide asense of purpose.
I promise you, you are going tofigure it out.
Someone's going to ask you tovolunteer.
Someone's going to ask for helpon maybe one of the projects or
one of, their programs.
And By connecting with thoseindividuals.
(13:16):
You may say, well, I neverthought that this was something
that I could support in, or thatI could help.
Maybe there's a nonprofit,maybe.
You, want to be the helper forthe teacher?
Like there's, there's alwaysthose opportunities.
And here's another thing too.
The last story that I want toshare.
Especially for my new moms afterI had my little one, she's two
now sold two and a half yearsago.
(13:37):
I, I was like what could I dothat is going to help me give
back in a way where I'm spendingtime with my oldest.
And at the time I was prayingabout it.
I'm like, Lord, please guide meto someone that's going to help
me.
Find something that I could doto serve and spend time with my
daughter.
And at the time I get an emailthat says we're looking for two
(13:59):
volunteers that can help outwith girls on the run.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thisis a great opportunity, but I'm
out of shape.
Because I had just had my, mybaby.
And so.
I immediately email the point ofcontact as a, Hey, I'm
interested, but here's kind oflike my restriction right now.
I can't I can't promise you thatI'm gonna run over two miles.
And my time may be slow and shecalls me and she's like, listen,
(14:23):
We just need volunteers that arewilling to be there and
encourage and empower thesethird grade to fifth graders.
And I'm like, oh, I can do that.
I'll be there.
Sign me up.
And so when I participated I wasserving in a different way.
I never.
I thought that I could be withthird grade to fifth grade girls
(14:44):
and be able to encourage themand motivate them.
But they needed the help.
I was there to help.
And again, it's you finding andexploring little, like, things
like that.
That's going to help you.
And obviously I'm not thatwasn't the, the program.
Responsibility to provide thatsense of purpose, but it's
something that you, or that Ihad to, you know, kind of put
(15:05):
two and two together untilwhat's it going to be for you or
what is your sense of purposeinto what you're doing?
That you will figure out whenyou start building those
connections.
When you start reaching out topeople and asking them questions
and saying, Hey.
I see that you're doing this.
What about this?
Is it that you like,, but what Iencourage you to not do is to
(15:27):
make that role or this newcivilian life or civilian
career.
Don't put the responsibility onthat one job.
It's your responsibility.
You're a leader.
For you to take ownership andfigure that out.
And it starts with you buildingconnections.
It starts with you connecting.
(15:47):
Networking.
And build on those relationshipsbecause trust me, there's so
many things that you don't know.
So many things that I don'tknow.
But when you connect with peoplein your genuine.
and simply asked them.
How did you get into this?
How did you get into this role?
They will appreciate that you'reinterested.
And if you are.
(16:10):
Interested.
They're going to rememberbecause they're like, oh, this
person that person made me feelinteresting.
Now this person is interestingbecause they made me feel that
way.
Right.
Going back to how you made themfeel.
And so now they're going toremember you.
Just like I just gave Joshuashutout.
I remembered him because of theway that he encouraged me to
(16:31):
talk about this the day beforeThanksgiving.
And so how can you do this now?
Right.
Like for you to take actiontoday.
You could simply do it online.
You can connect with someone onLinkedIn.
You can connect with me today.
Go on LinkedIn and connect withme, say I heard your podcast, I
just want to connect I'llconnect with you.
And I promise I'll get back toyou.
It may not be the same day, butI'll get back to you., or you
(16:53):
can just connect with someonethat's outside of the military
that maybe you haven't talked toin a minute.
Maybe it's been years, maybeit's been months.
Reach out to them and say, Hey.
I just realized that you are inmanufacturing and I wanted to
pick your brain for a couple ofminutes or how's it going?
Whatever it may be for youhowever, You think that
(17:15):
relationship or thatconversation can go.
It could be at a family.
Event could go talk to youruncle to your cousin, whomever.
Hey, how did you get into thisrole?
Or, you know, how are youliking, you know, you've been in
this industry for 10 years.
Have those conversations and Ipromise you that they're going
to connect to you and they'regoing to be like, oh yeah, I
can, you know, if you want tolearn more, I can connect you
(17:37):
with such-and-such.
And so again, just buildingconnections, connecting and
building relationships.
We have these conversations allthe time in the military we're
are not shy we're ready to ask aquestion.
Connect with others.
And remember we're all strangersand we go to one duty station
and no one knows anyone.
(17:59):
And then all of a sudden, withintwo days, three days, It's like
your family now.
And so again, use the time, yourskills, who you are.
Allow that to help you.
To connect with people.
Like, you know how to do it.,this is not new to you,
especially if you've been infour or six years.
(18:20):
So I encourage you today to goconnect this home one.
Go reach out to them.
Um, either in person or online.
And then let me know, send me aDM saying, Hey, I did it, or I
didn't do it.
Whatever works for you or sharethis episode, if you found this
helpful, if you know thatsomeone transitioning out, share
this episode with them.
I promise you, they're going tothank you later because this is
(18:40):
something probably that theynever considered and they're
probably maybe hesitant to doit.
And so I encourage you to sharethis episode and I will also
link a video.
On, I talked about networking,and kind of like where to begin.
It was on LinkedIn.
I posted it a couple of monthsback.
So I'll link it here.
But you all, I hope that thisencourages you and I hope that
(19:02):
you have a beautiful rest ofyour week.
Talk to you all soon.
Bye.
Hey lady, if this podcast helpedyou, challenged you or inspired
you in some way, please leave mea written review for the show on
Apple Podcasts and share it withanother military sister and
please join us in the militarywomen community on Facebook at
bit.
ly forward slash beyond themilitary GRP.
(19:24):
Again, it is.
Bitly beyond the military GRP.
All right.
Talk to you soon.
Bye
Welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, a space for
military women determined tofocus on life outside of the
military.
As a woman veteran who once feltlost after leaving the military,
I know firsthand the challengesthat we face.
Hi, my name is Wendy Ray, awoman of God, wife, mom of
(00:20):
three, army veteran.
Life and career coach, and I'mon a mission to equip and
empower women like yourself toexcel in life and career with
confidence.
So if you're ready to go fromstuck to confident, this podcast
is for you.
Hello, and welcome to episode247.
(00:41):
So today I all want to sharewith you all a common theme, a
topic that I've been getting alot through, just.
Random conversations that I'vebeen having at with strangers at
the store.
With DMS that I've been havingon LinkedIn and even free
consultations.
So.
I want to just take a moment andtalk to you about.
(01:02):
Our sense of purpose, your senseof purpose.
That comes up as you'retransitioning out of the
military, this comes up a lot.
And even when you're thinkingabout the transition, you're
like, what am I going to do thatit's going to drive me or that
it's going to help me feel thesense of like purpose and be
purposeful and.
You know, step into that.
(01:23):
And so I want to start off byone, given Joshua shout out, he
actually was the icing on thecake when I was making out my
outline.
And I asked him what was one ofhis challenges and the main
challenge that he brought up wasmissing his sense of purpose
after serving in the militaryfor after 26 years.
(01:44):
So Joshua, thank you so muchfor, just confirming that I
needed to talk about this as hewas the last one that just said,
okay, you know what, I'm justgoing to talk about this because
this is something that we dostruggle.
I struggled with it.
We all struggle with it,especially if you are in already
for over six years.
I think that it's, it gets evenworse because you've been in an
environment.
Where that's all, you know, andyou have this idea of service,
(02:09):
right?
And then this idea of service,we think that it only comes
through you serving yourcountry.
And so today I just want toemphasize and encourage you.
Two.
Figure out what that could looklike.
And again, it doesn't it'slisten, it's not going to be
perfect.
You're not going to know thebeginning to end.
You're not going to know all thedetails.
Okay.
That's one of the things that weas military folks want to do, we
(02:30):
want to plan everything.
Six months out, 90 days out andhave everything.
Lined up and 30 differentcourses of action.
And I want to say today thatit's not going to work that way.
And the way that you can startthe main thing that you need to
focus on.
And I know you've heard thisbefore, but I'm going to say it
again and I'm hoping.
That it blesses you and they,you go out and start taking
(02:53):
action today.
And when the time, this episodepublishes is actually going to
be the day before Thanksgiving.
And so I want to encourage youto take action, especially
within your family or within thecommunity that you'll be
spending time, this Thanksgivingand so.
The one thing that I alwaysencourage people to do when
(03:13):
they're like, oh my gosh, Idon't know how I'm going to find
any purpose or meaning.
When I go into an you.
Another career.
Into another field.
And this is what I alwaysencourage people to do.
Is to.
One, if I'm just going to startwith this, if you're a believer,
if you're a woman of faith, ifyou're someone that actually has
(03:35):
a faith foundation, I encourageyou to pray about it.
That's the one thing that Ialways encourage all my women
that are believers.
You need to continue to ask God,ask the holy spirit to guide
you.
On.
Who he is going to connect youintentionally because he's so
intentional to help you figurethat out.
But if you're not a believer andyou're like, Hey, I just, you
(03:57):
know, I have no idea.
You know where to begin and Ijust need something right now.
I need something to help me.
Kind of figure that out.
This is the one thing that Ihave told many people that are
getting out, men, women.
Even strangers at the storewhere I just say you have to
start connecting with otherhumans.
(04:19):
That are possibly.
Not in the similar boat as you,or that are in different
situations, in different fields.
Because then you get to learnabout different things.
And so here's what I mean about.
You connecting if you're stillin the military.
And let's just say that you'relike, Hey, I'm thinking about
the transition, but I don't knowexactly when I'm going to send
(04:40):
out my packet when I'm going toretire or when I'm going to, you
know, I still have 10 years toretire five years or whatever
that might look like.
You need to start connectingnow.
And here's why.
So just a quick story about howI ended up.
Hearing about podcasts.
And I was at Fort drum.
New York and one of my companycommanders, because again, I've
(05:00):
always Building relationships iskind of like my thing as.
As I was growing up because Iwas an only child.
So for me it was,, how do I makea new friend at school?
And so when it came to becomingan adult and everything, it
became easier for me to buildrelationships easily.
And early, getting curious aboutwhat moves people?
What they like, what they don'tlike, what makes them tick all
(05:22):
these other things.
And I'm also a questioner.
Like I love to ask questions andI won't hesitate to ask
questions because that's just ahelps me learn and it helps me
understand better and so when Iwas the S1 At Fort drum, I in
any unit.
I built relationships witheveryone.
I mean, from the person inprocessing all the way to my
(05:43):
brigade commander, whomever, Iliterally reported to.
And so one of my companycommanders, phenomenal woman,
phenomenal leader, Justine.
If you're listening to this.
She was the one that.
Actually, we had a call, we'rehaving a conversation and she
said, Hey, I recommend that youlisten to this episode, this
podcast episode, I'm like, whatis a podcast?
(06:04):
Like, what is this.
But again, we had built thisrelationship and we had, you
know, gotten into having aconversation about what I was
struggling with and so on and soforth.
And she said, Hey, listen tothis episode.
And so that's when I firstlearned about podcast episodes.
If I wouldn't have learned inthat time.
About a podcast episode.
(06:26):
I probably wouldn't have neverlearned about podcast up until
maybe a year later after gettingout.
And this is really what startedthe foundation of this podcast
too, because it helped me see.
In realize that.
There's a platform that you canuse.
(06:48):
To encourage, to motivate, toshare your message, to teach
whatever it may be.
On this platform.
And so I learned about that.
Starting listening to podcastsepisodes.
Then got into audio books,started learning in that way.
As it was still very new.
And so all of these things, allof these relationships, and this
(07:08):
is just the one example.
Have led me into differentopportunities that I've never.
Ever would have thought aboutthe program that I went through.
I mean, I'm going toopportunity.
Um, the other program that Iwent through that helped me go
through so many interviews,expose me into different career
fields, career opportunities.
(07:29):
It was because someone mentionedit to me.
Because someone said, Hey, youneed to check out this program.
Hey, you need check out thispodcast.
Hey, you need to check out thiscertification.
Hey, you need to talk to thisperson.
And even the most recent, Iactually just got done with a
certification in a group programbecause someone recommended it
to me, had no idea that thisprogram was available.
(07:51):
And so all of that to say, Thatyou need to build.
Relationships while you're stillin.
And not only internally.
So not only with militarypeople, not only with military
leaders, not only your mentors.
But you need it to reach out andyes, this can be a family
member.
(08:11):
You can reach out to your uncle,to your cousin and just have a
conversation say, Hey, I just,you know, have a quick question
for you.
I know that you're in thisindustry, you know, what is,
what's it like, how did you getinto this role?
Like, what do you like about it?
And so as you're askingquestions and you're connecting
with people, You're makinggenuine connections.
Those relationships are going tobe more meaningful when they're
(08:33):
going to be deeper.
And they're going to think aboutyou.
When they're talking to otherindividuals.
Because here's the thing about.
People.
They will remember you.
And I think we've seen thisquote everywhere.
Not based on like what you know,or anything, but how you made me
feel.
And so if you can build agenuine connection, if you can
(08:53):
reach out to, especially when itcomes to saying, Hey, I would
like your feedback, or I wouldlike your help on this one
thing.
And all that.
Sometimes we take it overboardand we take it to our head and
we're like, oh, we don't needany help.
I have enough friends.
I don't have time for this.
But here's the truth.
Here's the reality.
People want to help you one andthen two.
(09:15):
People.
No other people that you had noidea about.
Trust me, like I go through thisall the time.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
I did not know.
You knew about this field orsomeone that knows about this
field.
And I get referred to them.
Another great example.
I'm connected with AmandaHuffman.
She is a podcast host for womenin the military.
(09:37):
And thanks to her podcastplatform.
She was able to create thismentorship program.
And I have a mentee and she isphenomenal.
And if it wasn't for Amanda'spodcast, if it wasn't for me and
Amanda connecting and me saying,yes, I want to participate in
(09:59):
this mentoring program.
And so again, so many peoplethat are out there willing to
help you and connect you.
And the bigger picture of thisis that.
This is what's going to helpyou.
To figure out sense of purpose.
Because that's exactly whathappened to me.
(10:20):
Right.
And I'm like, okay, how can Icontinue to serve and give back?
It literally started when I wasa recruiter.
How can I help you?
In a way where it's beneficialfor you to transition.
And so that's where it stemmed.
I'm like, oh my gosh, I could dothis.
And do it through a podcastsbecause this is a new tool and a
platform and that is what gaveme my sense of purpose.
(10:42):
Now at the time I wasn'tworking.
And here's what I also want tosay.
About this.
Building relationships,connecting with people is going
to help you see that it's not,the job responsibility.
To do that for you.
And I think that we think in ourbrain that, okay, this job how's
this job going to bring me thesense of purpose.
(11:03):
No, that's not the job or thatroles responsibility.
You as a leader, need to takeresponsibility.
For your own sense of of purposeso how are you going to find
that within that industry?
And again, this is why it's soimportant.
For you to start early on,connecting with people.
Reaching out on what they'redoing in this industry?
(11:24):
How has this program managerrole.
How does learning anddevelopment role, how was this
project management role supplychain manager.
Sales opportunities.
So when you're connecting, theywill tell you they will share
their journey and they weresharing exactly what is driving
them.
Right.
And we not be.
The specific job that they do.
But he might be what the companybelieves in.
(11:46):
They might be what their team.
Is going for as an impact and togive you another example.
When I was, looking for a careerroles in the civilian sector, it
wasn't about, oh, I need to, youknow, finding my purpose or my
sense of purpose in that job.
It was more so of like, okay,how can I come in here?
(12:08):
Provide the value.
The service, my skills.
Everything that I bring to thetable as Wendi as a leader not
my rank but how can I bringvalue?
How can I serve this team?
Just as I served when I was inthe military.
How can I literally be this now,you know, five years in.
(12:34):
And for you maybe 20 years,right?
This disciplined.
This assertive.
This resilient soldier, thisresilient.
Adaptable Marine.
How can you now show up in thatway?
And I promise you, if you comein with this mentality and this
perspective of.
I am going to figure out.
(12:55):
I purpose.
I'm not going to let or havethis responsibility on the job
or my supervisor to provide asense of purpose.
I promise you, you are going tofigure it out.
Someone's going to ask you tovolunteer.
Someone's going to ask for helpon maybe one of the projects or
one of, their programs.
And By connecting with thoseindividuals.
(13:16):
You may say, well, I neverthought that this was something
that I could support in, or thatI could help.
Maybe there's a nonprofit,maybe.
You, want to be the helper forthe teacher?
Like there's, there's alwaysthose opportunities.
And here's another thing too.
The last story that I want toshare.
Especially for my new moms afterI had my little one, she's two
now sold two and a half yearsago.
(13:37):
I, I was like what could I dothat is going to help me give
back in a way where I'm spendingtime with my oldest.
And at the time I was prayingabout it.
I'm like, Lord, please guide meto someone that's going to help
me.
Find something that I could doto serve and spend time with my
daughter.
And at the time I get an emailthat says we're looking for two
(13:59):
volunteers that can help outwith girls on the run.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thisis a great opportunity, but I'm
out of shape.
Because I had just had my, mybaby.
And so.
I immediately email the point ofcontact as a, Hey, I'm
interested, but here's kind oflike my restriction right now.
I can't I can't promise you thatI'm gonna run over two miles.
And my time may be slow and shecalls me and she's like, listen,
(14:23):
We just need volunteers that arewilling to be there and
encourage and empower thesethird grade to fifth graders.
And I'm like, oh, I can do that.
I'll be there.
Sign me up.
And so when I participated I wasserving in a different way.
I never.
I thought that I could be withthird grade to fifth grade girls
(14:44):
and be able to encourage themand motivate them.
But they needed the help.
I was there to help.
And again, it's you finding andexploring little, like, things
like that.
That's going to help you.
And obviously I'm not thatwasn't the, the program.
Responsibility to provide thatsense of purpose, but it's
something that you, or that Ihad to, you know, kind of put
(15:05):
two and two together untilwhat's it going to be for you or
what is your sense of purposeinto what you're doing?
That you will figure out whenyou start building those
connections.
When you start reaching out topeople and asking them questions
and saying, Hey.
I see that you're doing this.
What about this?
Is it that you like,, but what Iencourage you to not do is to
(15:27):
make that role or this newcivilian life or civilian
career.
Don't put the responsibility onthat one job.
It's your responsibility.
You're a leader.
For you to take ownership andfigure that out.
And it starts with you buildingconnections.
It starts with you connecting.
(15:47):
Networking.
And build on those relationshipsbecause trust me, there's so
many things that you don't know.
So many things that I don'tknow.
But when you connect with peoplein your genuine.
and simply asked them.
How did you get into this?
How did you get into this role?
They will appreciate that you'reinterested.
And if you are.
(16:10):
Interested.
They're going to rememberbecause they're like, oh, this
person that person made me feelinteresting.
Now this person is interestingbecause they made me feel that
way.
Right.
Going back to how you made themfeel.
And so now they're going toremember you.
Just like I just gave Joshuashutout.
I remembered him because of theway that he encouraged me to
(16:31):
talk about this the day beforeThanksgiving.
And so how can you do this now?
Right.
Like for you to take actiontoday.
You could simply do it online.
You can connect with someone onLinkedIn.
You can connect with me today.
Go on LinkedIn and connect withme, say I heard your podcast, I
just want to connect I'llconnect with you.
And I promise I'll get back toyou.
It may not be the same day, butI'll get back to you., or you
(16:53):
can just connect with someonethat's outside of the military
that maybe you haven't talked toin a minute.
Maybe it's been years, maybeit's been months.
Reach out to them and say, Hey.
I just realized that you are inmanufacturing and I wanted to
pick your brain for a couple ofminutes or how's it going?
Whatever it may be for youhowever, You think that
(17:15):
relationship or thatconversation can go.
It could be at a family.
Event could go talk to youruncle to your cousin, whomever.
Hey, how did you get into thisrole?
Or, you know, how are youliking, you know, you've been in
this industry for 10 years.
Have those conversations and Ipromise you that they're going
to connect to you and they'regoing to be like, oh yeah, I
can, you know, if you want tolearn more, I can connect you
(17:37):
with such-and-such.
And so again, just buildingconnections, connecting and
building relationships.
We have these conversations allthe time in the military we're
are not shy we're ready to ask aquestion.
Connect with others.
And remember we're all strangersand we go to one duty station
and no one knows anyone.
(17:59):
And then all of a sudden, withintwo days, three days, It's like
your family now.
And so again, use the time, yourskills, who you are.
Allow that to help you.
To connect with people.
Like, you know how to do it.,this is not new to you,
especially if you've been infour or six years.
(18:20):
So I encourage you today to goconnect this home one.
Go reach out to them.
Um, either in person or online.
And then let me know, send me aDM saying, Hey, I did it, or I
didn't do it.
Whatever works for you or sharethis episode, if you found this
helpful, if you know thatsomeone transitioning out, share
this episode with them.
I promise you, they're going tothank you later because this is
(18:40):
something probably that theynever considered and they're
probably maybe hesitant to doit.
And so I encourage you to sharethis episode and I will also
link a video.
On, I talked about networking,and kind of like where to begin.
It was on LinkedIn.
I posted it a couple of monthsback.
So I'll link it here.
But you all, I hope that thisencourages you and I hope that
(19:02):
you have a beautiful rest ofyour week.
Talk to you all soon.
Bye.
Hey lady, if this podcast helpedyou, challenged you or inspired
you in some way, please leave mea written review for the show on
Apple Podcasts and share it withanother military sister and
please join us in the militarywomen community on Facebook at
bit.
ly forward slash beyond themilitary GRP.
(19:24):
Again, it is.
Bitly beyond the military GRP.
All right.
Talk to you soon.
Bye
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