Daring to Go Astray: Jillian Reilly Shares the Power of Self-Permission After Graduate School

Welcome back to Beyond the Thesis with Papa PhD! In this episode, host David Mendes sits down with Gillian Riley – founder, writer, keynote speaker, and consultant whose decades of work focus on helping people navigate change and accelerate learning, especially in disruptive times. Drawing on her experiences across Africa, Asia, and Central Europe, Gillian shares her personal journey of making bold transitions, including her pivotal move from academia in the U.S. to South Africa during a historic turning point.

ogether, David and Gillian dive deep into the concept of “the 10 Permissions,” the subject of Gillian’s upcoming book, offering guidance for anyone feeling stuck on their current path or struggling with the weight of external expectations. The conversation takes an honest look at the discomfort and growth that comes from choosing a non-linear, self-directed life—especially relevant for graduate students, early career researchers, and anyone stepping off the well-trodden academic or career path.

They discuss concrete practices for building “discomfort tolerance,” the power of self-permission, and the importance of cultivating a diverse portfolio of experiences—both for personal satisfaction and future adaptability. If you’ve ever faced doubt, disappointment, or confusion from your support network over career decisions, or are simply looking to make your journey more intentional, this episode is filled with insight and practical advice for you.

  Jillian Reilly is a founder, writer, keynote speaker, and consultant. Having spent her 30-year career working in social, organizational, and individual change across Africa, Asia, and Central Europe, Jillians focus is on helping people unlock their ability to navigate change and accelerate growth and learning. Jillians upcoming book, The Ten Permissions, guides readers in permitting themselves to design lives that fully leverage the possibilities of our disruptive world. What we covered in the interview:

• Discomfort Tolerance is a Superpower: Learning to distinguish between discomfort and danger is crucial. Most growth happens when we venture into the unfamiliar, so don’t let discomfort masquerade as danger and hold you back from essential, uncomfortable conversations or bold decisions.

• Approval is Desirable, Not Essential: Especially when making “novel” decisions that disappoint or surprise family and close ones. Your path won’t always be easily understood by others, but their approval isn’t a requirement for action. Back yourself, be your own permission giver.

• Diversify Your Experiences: Academia often encourages tunnel vision, but Gillian urges building a “portfolio of capabilities.” Explore beyond your specialization – network, revive old hobbies, join communities, and experiment. This adaptability and broad perspective are key assets in today’s chaotic (yet possibility-filled) world.

Jillian’s advice is a timely reminder: Your life isn’t about ticking the next institutional box, but about cultivating agency and resilience for a world in constant flux. See the resources section below for Jillian Reilly’s links! This episode’s resources:

• The 10 Permissions | Website
• The 10 Permissions | Book

Thank you, Jillian Reilly!

If you enjoyed this conversation with Jillian, let her know by clicking the link below and leaving her a message on Linkedin:

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