When Did Love Become Uncool?

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
George B. Thomas (00:02):
If we look at happiness, love is more than
just a fleeting feeling or afeel good moment. It's what
makes happiness deep and lastingif we have love tied into it.
When we genuinely love othersand ourselves, like we've talked
about so far on this podcast,happiness becomes more than just
a passing emotion. It it'ssomething that sticks around,
grow stronger, radiating outfrom us and around to those, it

(00:26):
becomes happiness transformsitself into what I might call
joy. Listen, we think abouthealth, love, especially self
love, going and get a mani andpedi, nudges us to take better
care of ourselves.
It motivates us to develophealthy habits, and it motivates
us to practice self care andkindness. And when we're

(00:47):
surrounded by love from others,we get the emotional support we
need to stay mentally strong,mentally healthy. If we look at
hustle and hungry, the wordsthat we've combined together,
love is the fire that fuels ourdrive and passion. It's what
makes us hungry for more, moreknowledge, more growth, more

(01:07):
success. When we truly love ourgoals, the people in our lives
and life itself, we staymotivated to keep pushing
forward.
If I think about helpful in theframework, when love is at the
heart of what we do, helpingothers isn't just something we
do out of obligation. It'ssomething we want to do.

Liz Moorehead (01:31):
Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm your
host, Liz Morehead. And asalways, I'm joined by the one
and only George b Thomas. ButGeorge Yes. George, my guy.
Yeah. You're a little bit like aterrorist sometimes.
Do you know that?

Because Just sometimes. Every now and then.

Sometimes because you and I hop on here for a
couple of minutes before we, youknow, catch up on a weekend, say
hello to each other, make sureare we ready to talk about life
and happiness and all thethings?

All the things.

And then occasionally, you'll do you
know, normally, it's just normalchitchat, and then occasionally,
it's what you just did, which is

I say something. Yeah.

I'm so I'm so ready to blow your mind at the
beginning of this episode. I'mgonna go ahead and hit record
now.

I mean, why not? It's Monday. Let's get it
started in the right fashion.Right?

You know what? Well, before we get into mind
blowing, how about this? What'syour highlight and low light?

No. No. No. You do your highlight and low
light first. I'll do minesecond.
See, that's part of the setupright there. Go ahead. You go
first.

For our listeners at home, this is a cry for help.
Hi. My name is Liz. I'll startwith low light so we can end on
highlight. So low light issomething that sounds like it
should be a highlight, but notwhen you live on the top floor
of a 3rd floor walk up.

Oh.

And that is I am a strong, self sufficient,
independent woman who had tohaul four trips worth of boxes
up and down my stairs thisweekend.

Yeah.

There is one point this weekend where I was
halfway up the last set ofstairs, and I just kinda sat
down in the middle. And I'mholding this giant box that had,
like, pillows and a comforter init and stuff like that.

Well, at least it was light.

Yeah. I know. But it wasn't because it's a velvet
comforter, and then also,apparently, there was thank you
Amazon for combining things. Soit was a comforter and a
toaster. Yes.
So I was sitting on the stairs,and at one point, I was just
like, man, feminism. Are wesure? To be fair, yes. A 100%.
But, man, like I said, thatwould have been a very different
story not living on the topfloor

(03:31):
of a
3rd floor walk up. Highlight was everything
that came in those boxes. Isometimes like to joke that I
have reverse seasonaldepression. It gets too hot. It
gets too sunny.
People are a little too happyand chummy, and I'm just like,
no. Thank you. I come alive whenit gets colder out. I come alive
when even the most hint ofpumpkin spice is in the air. I

(03:53):
do you know, some people dospring cleaning and spring
nesting.
And the moment Starbucks dropstheir pumpkin spice, I am there.
I am ready. I redid my entireroom. Everything feels nice. Is
it still going to be 90 degreestoday?
Yes. It is. But I'm just gonnagaslight myself into thinking we
are moving beyond this, thatsummer is now coming to an

(04:15):
abrupt and swift close. I mean,Labor Day, when we're recording
this, is is almost here.
Yeah.
So It's like the

leaves are already changing or something.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. But no. It was just
a great weekend. My whole Iredid my whole room.
And the other thing that wasnice too is it wasn't just about
decorating. I took care of a lotof maybe this is probably a
metaphor. I took care of a lotof lingering around the home
things that had been botheringme. For example, my bed,

(04:43):
absolutely love it. It's thisgorgeous big wrought iron bed
that has had a squeak.
And I knew what was causing thesqueak, and I just wasn't taking
the time to fix it. But everynight I get up or go into bed,
and every morning I wake up, Ihear squeaky, and it annoyed me.
Finally took care of that too.So it was just a bit of cleaning
house, little bit of cleaningshop.

Love that. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta do
that.

Go ahead, George. Whatever. Just what are your
highlights and lowlights,George? What what's going on?

So lowlight, have you ever wanted something
so much, but you weren't sure ifyou would be able to get the
thing? And so then you have aday where you're like, well, I
want it to happen, but is itgonna happen? Like, I want it to
happen. Is it gonna happen? Andso I had a day where I basically
sat outside on my back porch,listened to some country music,

(05:33):
even smoked a cigar for thefirst time in about 3 months
because I was just like, I needto take time to chill because
there's this potential lifeevent that would be really,
really cool if it could happen.
I'm not gonna I'm not gonnabring it up yet. If it happens,
then I'll Is this something

you and I have talked about?

Maybe. So that was the low light is, like what
I would call it is this, like,mental roller coaster that I was
at least able to drive and parkit into where it needed to be
parked by the time the day wasover. But it was like, I knew
that I needed to give myselfthat time. Now let's move on to
the more important thing.

Yeah. I'm just gonna put I'm gonna put a pin in
this, and I just want you toknow this is both a threat and a
promise. Sir, we had dedicatedhuman time this past Friday to
talk about our life and ourdreams and our hopes.

Yeah. But this was on Sunday, so that happened
before my thing that I justtalked about on Sunday. So it
but it is what it is. So thisweek, especially, end of week
weekend, I feel like I did agreat job as far as a father and
a husband. Okay.
Let me explain. So first of all,I took both of my daughters out

(06:46):
separately at different timesout to dinner. Just her, both
times because daughters and me.And we had great conversations
because we had this big lifepossible event thing that might
happen, and I wanted to picktheir brain on, like, where they
where their head was and whatthey're thinking and what
they're happy about.

And I

wanted to hear their dreams, like, if this
thing does happen. However,there's this. This was the
moment for me. I'm sitting in myoffice. It's Saturday.
I'm working on stuff because Ilike to work. I actually like I
feel like I'm playing, but I'mworking on stuff. And my wife
comes in and says, we'll beback. And it's my wife and my

(07:25):
daughter. And I go, where whereare you going?
And my wife says, well, Maddie'sgonna get her nails done, and
I'm gonna get a pedicure. And Isaid, well, hang on. I'll go
with you. And so I'm sittingthere, and I'm like, if Liz
could see me now as far as selfcare because I literally got a
manicure and a pedicure. What?
Got the foot massage, got thehot rocks, got the got the oils

(07:49):
on the legs, like, all and I'mticklish, by the way. So that
was the fun part. But literallysat there and just, like, loved
myself enough to get past thisisn't manly, sat there with my
daughter and my wife. Welaughed. We had fun, and I
absolutely enjoyed air quotesgirl day at the, like, manicure

(08:11):
pedicure place.
So that was my highlight. And bythe way, I don't know why I
waited till I was, like, 50something years old to realize
that you guys were hidingsomething and lying to us. Like,
I would have done this years agoif I would have known what
actually went down at, like, inthis scenario. But, anyway,
that's the highlight.

Okay. First of all I

told you I'd blow your mind.

Why did you wait so long? Because you were the
guy who, like, not 3 months agowhen I sent you the outline for
self care went, how do you feelabout this outline, which is
George speak for, what the flipare we talking about and why are
we here?

Exactly.

I need an adult. So that's probably the answer to
that. Also, we are not hidinganything from you. We are not
hiding anything from you.

I mean, I wish I would've known earlier. Like,
if if you're a guy listeningthis and you haven't gone and
got a pedicure at some point inyour life, I'm just asking you
to try it once, especially ifit's a good, like, father
daughter or husband wife bondingmoment. Because what's crazy is
when we're in there, this otherlady that I had I didn't know
her from anywhere. She was like,oh, yeah. I love when my husband

(09:16):
comes with me.
And I'm like, what? What? What?

My ex husband used to go with me every time.
It was our we had a little fancypants sundae.

Yeah. Well, there you go. There you go. So
that was that was the highlight.Manicure, pedicure.
I just let it happen. It wasbeautiful.

Think for one second, I've forgotten that
there's some sort of massivelife thing that you keep hiding
from me. I will come from

you as soon

as this mic is off.

Not hiding, but, you know, anyway.

Okay. Anyway, we are here to talk about a funny
little topic. A funny Is

it funny?

It is funny to me because we're talking about love
today. Right? And my guess isthis is not gonna be the last
time we talk about love becausewe're gonna talk about something
very specific
Yeah.
When it comes to love today. You and I had a
conversation a while ago when wewere talking about how we wanted
to continue to develop thesuperhuman framework. Right?

Yeah.

Which are the 10 pillars we use to help us
architect a life beyond yourdefault. So Yep. Honesty,
humanity, humility, hustle, allof these different things.

Yeah.

And then at one point during the conversation,
we were talking and said, well,love is it's the reason for
everything. It's the reason foreverything. And then I said,
well, that's strange. Love isn'toh my gosh. We've never talked
about love.
I ran a scan of all of thetranscripts from every episode
prior to this one. The times theword has come up in the context

(10:45):
of us talking about love.

Key points there, the word. But go ahead.

Single digits. And when I asked you, why don't
we talk about this? You said, wecan't talk about that.

Dang. I'm getting caught on the carpet
right now.

Yeah. Well, you knew this was coming. You've
known this episode was comingfor weeks. But before we dig
into that, we're talking abouttoday, when did love become
uncool? Now for some of youlistening, you might be like,
what are you talking about?
When did love become uncool?We're gonna get to that. But,
George, I wanna start today'sconversation by asking you about
the squishy part, which is,again, love is barely talked

(11:20):
about on this podcast. It issuspiciously absent from the
superhuman framework, which wewill get to.

We'll get to that.

No. No. No. I understand it's inferred. It's
implied.
It's the root, but we don't talkabout it. For something so
important, we do not talk aboutit. But I wanna start with the
squishy part. I loved when yousaid out loud, you got all
squishy about it too when yousaid it. Love is the reason for
everything.
When did love become the reasonfor everything for you? And was
it always that way, or was therea catalyst moment where that

(11:50):
shifted?

Yeah. I wanna answer this question, but I also
want to say why I said the word.That was a key point, the word,
single digits. Listeners, youneed to know that the idea of
this podcast and bringing it tothe world is based out of love.
You need to know that everyepisode that I've sat down to
craft is out of love.
Love for you, love for theability you have in your life.

(12:14):
Like, I would not take the timeand pour out the love from
myself and Liz at same as whatI'm saying. If we did not love
you, believe in you, and thinkthat this could be the catalyst
for you to get the places thatyou're trying to get in your
life. So while we might not saythe word, this whole thing comes
from a place of love. So here'sthe thing.

(12:36):
Liz, I have to break this downbecause it happened in multiple
phases. Phase 1, though, as Isat back and thought
historically of my life, whichyou're making me do more and
more as we get closer and closerto writing the book and and
getting the book out to theworld. I was transported back to
Cardwell, Montana when I was 15,and I had forgotten about this.

(12:59):
I haven't really I don't know ifI've ever talked about this
publicly, but I was transportedback to Cardwell, Montana when I
was 15. And I had started to goto church because we moved into
a new community from Bozeman,Montana.
And one of the things that theydid is they would have the kids,
occasionally do a sermon. Westood up in front of the church

(13:19):
and we actually gave a sermon. Igave my sermon, Liz, on love.
And the sermon that I gave, ittalked about love being messy
and why love was messy and howwe needed to think about love.
And I went through and I talkedabout love.
Now, Liz, I have a question foryou. When you think of the word
love, what do you immediatelythink of?

I don't immediately think of one thing.
Love encompasses so many things.

Okay. What do you think of?

Hugs, genuine caring. I don't know. It's

See that right there. Because it was an I don't
know pause. Right? And It's so

many things. How do you even

Well, that's the problem. That's the prob and
so most people when they they,like, they think of it as a 4
letter word. Love. Well, it'slove. It's just and it's puppies
and kittens and romcoms and, youknow, it's it's just love.
In this sermon, I actuallytalked about, which is romantic
love. Like, it's the passionate,you know, physical attraction,

(14:25):
intense emotions. We talk aboutfalling in love. In the sermon
that I gave, I talk about, Fila,which is the deep friendship,
connection based, mutualrespect, loyalty, shared values
usually found in closefriendships, or if you like your
brother or sister, in siblingrelationships. You may or may

(14:45):
not have that, listeners.
Storage, which is the familiarlove, the natural unconditional
love between family members,like deep emotional bond between
parents and their children,agape love. K. This is the
unconditional or the universallove, the selfless, the
altruistic love extended to allpeople, characterized by

(15:07):
compassion and commitment toothers, their well-being without
expecting anything in return.Oh, I'm getting goosebumps.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you'velistened to this podcast,
historically, you've heard metalk about expectations.
You've heard me talk aboutcommitment to others. Literally,
I just started this podcast of,like, it is coming from a place

(15:27):
of love, like, coming from aplace of service being built for
you. Agape, unconditionaluniversal love. We've got ludus,
which is the playful love.Right?
Pragma, which is the enduring orpractical love. This is like the
long term stable love based onmutual respect, understanding,
shared goals. It's found inmature relationships or long

(15:49):
term partnerships. We've gotself love. Right?
Like, there's just so manymania, obsessive love,
compassionate love. Like,there's so many things in so
many ways. And here's the thing,usually in our culture, love
never goes that deep. Peopledon't think about, well, what

(16:11):
kind of love am I in or feelingor leveraging or being part of?
And so all of that to say, like,love can be messy.
Love can be confusing. And Ihave always been the type of guy
that, like I'm like, well, let'ssimplify the complex. I don't
know if I figured out how tosimplify the complexities of

(16:33):
love. Therefore, we have reallynot talked about it at a super
deep level. But I will say thatone thing, when I was thinking
about this sermon, I I was like,oh my god.
I hadn't put this piecetogether. But I remember when I
gave this sermon, how impacted II was and how I said at 15 years

(16:55):
old. Oh. Oh. My life goal, Iwanna grow up as agape love.
I wanna be selfless. I wannaextend to all people. I wanna be
compassionate and committed toothers well-being. I I wanna be
able to temper my expectationsso that I can be the best and

(17:15):
show up the best. So, Liz, thatwas, like, phase 1 of this
whole, like, understanding thereare different layers and levels
of love to actually payattention to.
At Trinity Baptist, pastor DaveWright, I've talked about him
before on the podcast. He did asermon called treasures in trash
cans. And it was during thatsermon that I realized that I I

(17:38):
have to love myself. Dude,you've been dirty. You've done
dirt.
But at the end of the day,you're a treasure. Like, God
made you in a certain way. So,like, moving forward from this
day forward, you have to loveyourself. And when when I think
about that, I tap back into thatoriginal sermon and the layers
of love in which I should havefor myself and those around me.

(17:59):
And so you have this, like,understanding of the structure
of different loves.
You have this moment in timewhere it's like you need to love
yourself so that you can loveothers, which, Liz, we talk
about in other podcast episodes,the blessing bomber. And so this
is the 3rd phase of, like, ifyou're gonna be a blessing
bomber, guess what, homie?You're gonna have to love them.

(18:21):
You're gonna have to love themwith agape love, with 0
expectations because blessingbombers don't look back. They
just bless and they go.
Because they're not there forthe rewards. They're there for
the blessing to be that thingthat they're supposed to be. And
so, like, it's always there.It's part of who we are. But,

(18:43):
again, it it's just messy, andit's hard to unpack.
And and and not to mention, likeand we'll talk about this, but
if I say love to a roomful ofpeople, the amount of people
that are gonna feel like me,probably not a lot because
there's some ways that loveain't cool. There's some ways

(19:04):
love ain't been used right.That's where the three main
phases of my life where I thinkthis pick up love and roll with
it comes from.

It's so funny. As soon as you said agape, it
reminded me of the fact. You mayremember our hyena energy
episode, and there was aparticular artist who had
created some cards that wetalked about. I have this from
her

as well. Hey. There we go. By the way, if
you're not watching this

Oh, I was about to go ahead.

Yeah. Go ahead. You go ahead.

No. So there she has these she's an artist, so
she has these beautiful piecesabout the different types of
love, and it's just this reallycool piece of artwork about
Agape.

Yes.

I love it. Anyway, I find your answer very
interesting because you seem tobe such a champion of love.

Oh, yeah.

Preached about love.

Without a doubt.

Love is your reason, the reason, etcetera,
etcetera. But let's go back towhat I mentioned earlier.
Because when I asked you in aprevious conversation privately
why it's been so absent in everyconversation we've had so far in
the podcast, Once again, yousaid, you can't say love is the
reason for everything. You can'tsay that. Why?

Man, I wish I would have never said that to
you. Here's one of the things.And by the way, that
conversation with you and thisprep for the podcast and this
podcast is making me think aboutwhy I said that and the actions
that might take place after allof this. But historically and

(20:33):
today, I'll say I am this hyperfocused on not offending humans.
If I offend you, it is very hardfor me to bless you.
If I am the typical person thatmight walk around with the love
2 by 4, I might knock you out.And it's really hard to have a
conversation if I knock you out.I may put you out of the place

(20:56):
of being able to listen. Liz,I've always had this mindset or
mentality. And when I sayalways, I'll say the last 20 to
25 years that I've actually beentrying to do good on the earth.
I have this Johnny Appleseedmentality, where instead of,
like, most or some lovingChristians like to hit people
over the forehead with theirproverbial 2 by fours, I've had

(21:19):
more of a Johnny Appleseed whereI'm, like, trying to just plant
some seeds, and if they grow,they will grow. But, again, it's
because I've been hit in theforehead with a 2 by 4, and I
didn't like the way it felt.That didn't feel like love to
me. Therefore, I didn't wannareturn that to the world knowing
in how it felt to me. And,honestly, it's also because the

(21:41):
the understanding of negativeoutlooks and misunderstandings
of the word love.
Like, what's what's around it?Like, let's be honest. I don't
know if agape love is the firstthing that came to anybody's
mind when I said, hey, Liz. Talkto me about love. Like, love is
often hyped up and packaged likea product in today's society.

(22:05):
It's the cheesy rock. Accordingto Hallmark,

it is a product.

Yeah. The Hallmark Channel. It's oh my
god.

Someone who loves Hallmark Channel movies. That is
a secret shame of mine, and I'dlove that.

Christmas. Like, Christmas, Hallmark
Channel during Christmas orChristmas in July Is the best.
Swear to god, it's on 24 hours aday. I love

my wife. Wife your wife is a good person.

You know how I know I love my wife? Because
I'll sit and watch them with herand know that we watched the
dang thing last year. I'm justsaying. But, anyway, it is
packaged up like a product. Andand, again, you think about the
cheesy romcoms, the Valentine'sDay ads, and and the it sounds
like great that no harm, nofoul, but this builds up our
expectations as humans that loveshould be this perfect and

(22:52):
magical thing.
And and so when real lifedoesn't match up, it's super
easy to feel disappointedbecause, well, my life isn't the
Hallmark Channel. My life isn'tthe Valentine's card. And by the
way, we have to think that wehave listeners all over the
world. Right? In some places,showing love openly is seen as

(23:13):
weak or naive, especially when asociety I could so go somewhere
right now.
Being tough, independent makeslove uncool or embracing love
uncool. That's not manly. Whatis wrong with him? Like, not to
mention, most of us, by a showof hands that I can't see, how

(23:33):
many of you been hurt in life?Like, when people experience
hurt, betrayal, when we're letdown, it's natural for us to
become cynical and start tothink that love is just a
fantasy.
I'll never be able to get it.I'll never reach it. I thought I
had it, but it was elusive. Itslipped through my fingertips.
For some of us, love has beenassociated with, like, counter

(23:55):
cultural movements.
Damn hippies. I am Jesus lovers.And it becomes dismissed as,
like, this unrealistic or overlyidealistic traditional for those
groups. Liz, we've talked abouton this podcast the good vibes
only, like the toxic positivepositivity. Oh my god.
Like like the good vibes onlymindset can make love feel

(24:18):
forced and fake, which, by theway, love should never be forced
or faked. But being told to staypositive and loving all the time
can start to feel, like,pressured. Like, you feel like
you're in life's pressurecooker. And the funny thing
about this is be good vibesonly. Like, it makes love seem
shallow and insincere.
And love is a very deep well.Like, true love. The real love

(24:44):
is a very deep well. I'm gonnathrow this out there and I've
kind of alluded to it. For thosewho religious institutions have
hurt, hearing messages aboutlove can even feel hypocritical
or painful.
Liz, I've said on this podcast,I thought Christians were the
most hypocritical people I'vemet in my life. By the way,
people in other religions mightsay that about other religious

(25:06):
people. Like, I'm not justdrawing the line at Christians,
but, like, look. Hurt peoplehurt people, and hurt people are
in churches because they'retrying to get healed. Oh my god.
Like, what do you think is gonnahappen around this? We we live
in a very by the way, I love theworld. I love humans. But if I
look around, we live in a veryself centered world. Ideas like

(25:28):
selflessness and community love,they probably look and feel
outdated and irrelevant in manyof the humans' lives that might
be listening to this podcast.
And if you're listening to thisfor the first time, this might
be the best episode for you tostart this journey on with, to
be honest with you. But but wehave this pressure to find the
perfect romantic relationship.That can be overwhelming. Then

(25:51):
all of a sudden, love is asource of stress. Love isn't
supposed to be stressful.
Love is supposed to be theunlock element for all the other
things in our life. Like, Ican't wait because I I wanna
talk about love to the h'sbecause you you kinda threw me
on the carpet of, like, how comeit's not in the superhuman
framework? I'm like, ah. Like,oh my god. I'm doing everybody a

(26:13):
disservice in not talking abouthow this is, like, a fundamental
piece.
But, like, love is not supposedto be a stress inducer. The last
thing I'm gonna say on this, andif you've ever been part of
this, I apologize if the personhas not apologized for
themselves because it's the onethat pisses me off the most.
Unfortunately, love can also beused as a tool to control. Toxic

(26:36):
relationships, they leave peoplebitter and disillusioned to what
the true meaning of love is, andthe power in which love could
have for them moving forward,but they're not willing to
embrace it. It's no longer cool.
It it's hurtful. And so, Liz,why have I tempered myself

(26:57):
historically? Because, dang,gummy. Like, love is messy, and
love is different for everysingle human. And the journey
that they've gone through or hadthe opportunity, depending on
how you look at it, to gothrough to mold their story.
And, honestly, this is one ofthe hardest places that I look
at because I I can look at mosthumans and I'd be like, oh, this

(27:19):
is where I need to meet them.Oh, they need a little more
hustle. They need a little morehappiness. They need a little
bit more health. But when I tryto turn on the love gauge, I'm
like, oh, I don't know.
I don't know.

So a few things. Number 1, I don't know if you
watched my reaction as soon asyou said I was worried about
offending people. Yeah. Yeah.Man, the content therapist,
strategist in me, my littleantenna went up.
If you're focused on notoffending people, you are
basically absolving anybody ofany responsibility to sit

(27:54):
through the discomfort of beingexposed to new feelings and new
ideas and new thoughts. And,also, sometimes someone being
uncomfortable with somethingthat you're sharing with them,
that actually speaks more aboutthem than it does about you. I
think the 2 things can be true.I think you can go into any
conversation and say, I am hereto be purposeful. I am here to
be productive, and I am here tobe constructive.

(28:16):
I'm here to listen, and I'm hereto be open. The moment you
switch or flip that switch to, Idon't wanna offend. That's not
how that works. That that's notspeaking with your true voice.
Sometimes discomfort is thepathway to growth, and you have
to get comfortable.
You aren't comfortable. Buthere's what I will also say.

Like I'm in the principal's office right
now.

You brought up a number of really good points
that resonated with me becausewhen I think about certain
things like, well, why don't Ilike talking about love? Mine
felt a little bit more, I don'tknow, not as well thought out as
yours. Right? I wasn'tuncomfortable talking about love
because I don't wanna offendpeople. Like, it had nothing to
do with anybody else.
I just didn't wanna look like ahippie. So there's that. Right?

(28:57):
Like, you know, because themoment you're like, the moment
somebody sort of you know, it'sall about love, man. I'm like,
uh-huh.
So where's the pamphlet you'regiving me? Right?
Like, what what's happening here? So there's that
piece of it. Like, I don't wannalook like a ding dong. There are
other that piece
of it. Like, I don't wanna look like a ding
dong. The other piece of it toois what
you mentioned. We don't wanna admit
how much we want it. We don't wanna talk
about how we're ability.

You're you're knocking on the door of
vulnerability right now, by theway.

You don't wanna talk about how much you want it.
You don't wanna talk about howmuch you're worried you won't
have it. There it love is veryinteresting and that it reminds
me a lot of the concept ofhappiness. It's not a happy is
not a 4 letter word. It's a 5letter word.
It is one that people struggleto define. Like, everything you
were saying about love, I'mlike, did we already record this
episode? Oh, yeah. It's calledhappiness. Right?

(29:44):
Everything about these veryquote, unquote simple ideals
that quote unquote everybody weall wanna be happy. We all want
love. Except none of uschuckleheads know how to define
it and we're always worriedwe're not gonna have it. And
anytime we try to chase it, thatis completely backward and

(30:06):
inverted.

I have to go sideways for a second and then
we can get back on love. It'sfunny you said happiness is a 5
letter word.

Why is it happy?

Yeah. Well, so happy is a 5 letter word that's
actually masking the 3 letterword that you're looking for.
I'm just letting everybody know.

Is it joy?

It's joy. Joy is what you should be seeking.
Like, I have this whole thingthat I'm I can't wait till I can
bring this to the world of,like, a mental shift from
success to significance. And Ihave very much another mental
switch is, like, happiness. It'sjoy.
I'm looking for joy. But anyway,we're here for love. That's
another podcast episode. We'rehere for love.

Joy is a state of being. Love for me is an act.

But it is action. But it's a little bit of
I'll say a little bit of both.But, yes,

I agree. Little comment.

Yes. But I do agree. Love is an action. Love
is a choice.

And one of my favorite things about love and
I've written about this in thenewsletter quite a bit, beyond
yourdefault.comforward/newsletter,
where I talk a lot about placewhere that was Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you. I like to talk about opposites and
polarities. Right? I like totalk about this idea of 2 things
are almost always true at thesame time. And often, if you
want something in order toachieve it, you actually need to
do the exact opposite.
You want something to go faster?You need to slow down. You want
life to get easy, George, justlike you talk about. Do hard

(31:33):
things.

Yes.

Right? What's fascinating is that if you want
to achieve love outside ofyourself, look inward and start
loving yourself as hard as youcan. One of my favorite things
to say is

Go get a mani pedi. That's her favorite thing
to say. Love yourself within.

I'm just I got my nails done. This nigga, and it's
pretty. Once you start pouringlove into yourself, it becomes
so much easier to pour love intothe world.

Without a doubt.

Without a doubt.

So true. That should be like the quote of the
episode. That right there shouldbe the quote of the episode at
the very top of the show notes.

Like and what's really funny about it is that so
this is the longest I have everbeen single in my whole life.
Longest I've ever I hated it fora while. Absolutely hated it,
but that was because I waslearning how to be alone. Yes.
And what was fascinating aboutit is I realized, Liz, are you
chasing love or are you tryingto avoid your fear of
loneliness?

(32:25):
Which I've talked about verydeeply on this episode. What is
my why? I have felt trueloneliness. I have felt
darkness. I have felt not beingseen.
Now, I'm about let's see. Abouta year and a half since Patrick
and I split up. And I went on adate on Friday. It was fine. The
spark wasn't there.
He was a really nice guy. It wasmutual. We both were like, this

(32:46):
was great. Not there. It wasreally nice to meet you.
Just not really, you know Iwasn't upset. I was

fine. Interesting.

And it's so funny. I've gotten to this weird
place where it's like, I'm justreally kinda happy being me. And
then I realized Maybe that's the

quote for the episode. I hope the listeners
understand how and I hope youunderstand how powerful that
statement is. I'm just happybeing me.

Well, that's the love story we always ignore. We
always seek love storieswithout, but the first one we
need to forge is with ourselves,which
Yes.
This is where I get to the answer to this
question for myself. I don'twanna sound like a hippie. I
don't want to sound like becauseif you grew up in the DC area,
you were very used to anytimeyou went to a museum. Oh.
Somebody was coming up to talkto you about Krishna and, like,

(33:34):
love and all this stuff.
And it's just not cool to lovelove, which is funny to me
because love is at the center ofso much of our pop culture.
Right? There are songs, movies,every Hallmark Channel movie
that you've ever watched eventhough you I'm pretty sure,
George, you think it's all justone movie that they just recast

(33:56):
and everything in our popculture is about love. Whether
they're explicitly love songs orthey're breakup songs or they're
rom coms. There is a runningjoke which is actually a very
serious issue.
There's a there's a test. Ithink it's called like the best
shot test, the best shot test. Ican't remember Where it's like
very few movies pass it and thetest is, can there are there

(34:17):
scenes in the movie with 2 womenwhere they're not talking about
men? Like, love andrelationships are so centered in
our culture. And yet, there areso many people like us, George,
who do not want to admit itsimportance in our lives.

Yeah.

If we're even ready to acknowledge it at all.
So that gets to the title ofthis episode. When did love
become uncool? When did thishappen?

So I wanna unpack a couple things. I don't
know because in the questionslash statements that you're
just making, I don't know iftrue true love is at the center
of pop culture. I think there'sa carnival fun mirror version of
love in the center of popculture. But it's

Twilight is about stalking. He just happens to be
hot.

Yeah.

Love at the center of I'm rewatching scandal
right now.
Yeah.
And everybody worships Kerry Washington and
Tony Goldwyn who played thepresident and Olivia Pope. And
don't get me wrong. I love thatshow and Tony Goldwyn, like,
call me. But, like, that is anun obsessive unhealthy
relationship and he, like, hemurders a lot of people. Like,
it's not Yeah.
None of this is healthy.

Yeah. Which anyway. Okay. Let's let me move
on. I was about to be realvulnerable and talk about my
fascination with one of theshows that you just mentioned,
the movies that you justmentioned.
But let's let's continue on.

Are we sure? You said you were gonna be
vulnerable. That was Yeah.

Well, team Jacob, does that say anything?
Like, does anybody listening tothis know what it means when I
say anyway, let's

just I'm an elder millennial girl.

Yeah.

Of course, honestly, both of them, team
nobody. Team Bella Team no.Going off team Bella going off
and finding herself, maybe.Like, go to

San Francisco. Crap. I binged the crap out of
those movies. I'm just

I watch them once a year. I watch them once a
year.

Like, I know that I shouldn't be watching
this, but I don't care. Here'smy man card. Give me the
popcorn.

George b Thomas, Twilight lover.

I'm your bitch. Yeah. That's probably
gonna be a social post fromsomebody at some point listening
to this podcast. Anyway but mypoint is I don't know if true
love is actually at the centerof pop culture or the center of
anything. Because, again, if Igo back to true love, I go back
to, like, the agape style loveif I'm using true love or the

(36:34):
the one that is not the, selfishversion or the controlling
version.
And there's a lot of selfish andcontrolling love that is shown
in the center of pop culture. Sohere's the thing, though. The
other piece that I had thisdiscomfort in, and I know where
it came from because it's alaunching pad from our original
conversation of, I can't talkabout that. I would say that I

(36:56):
do admit its importance, theimportance of love in my own
life. Just just many times, it'sto myself or my family, my
close, close, close friends.
This is the first time that I'mtaking it as far as just to put
it out in the world. But that'sbecause of a level of trying to
be careful about not running,and you even mentioned it. Like,

(37:21):
in DC hey, girl. I'd love totell you it happens everywhere.
We're in North Carolina, and wegot people with cardboard signs
and megaphones.
You're going to Jack Jackson.You're going to hell. We love
you. Look. Nah.
Just be quiet. Like, just stop.Just stop. And if you've been
that person, I'm sorry. I don'tmean to offend you, but just
stop.
I've tried to be so carefulabout not running people over

(37:43):
with the love steamrollerbecause that's not what it's
about. I'm not trying to flattenanybody out. I'm not trying to,
like but, Liz, I think based onthe conversation that got us to
this episode, why people mightlook at love like it's uncool.
And we've kind of alluded tosome of these, but past hurts
and disappointments are like amajor thing that we need to be

(38:06):
cognizant of when we get intothis conversation of love, true
love, unpacking love, lovingourself, loving others, like and
vulnerability, by the way. Butand but most of us have been
hurt by love in some way,sometime, whether it's through
breakups, toxic or badfriendships, family issues.
Like, you know how I know thatwe've all had this? Because

(38:28):
we're all humans, and humans aregonna human. Like

I'm special. Shut up.

Yeah. I'm different. Yeah. Well, if any
listener listens to any podcastepisode that we've ever done,
they'll be like, no, Liz. You'rehuman.
And the humans in your lifehuman, and you're human too. But
that's we're just trying to beauthentically vulnerable humans
on this podcast explaining,like, hey. Everybody's life is
messy. But those experienceswith, you know, breakups or

(38:56):
friendships or families, like, Iknow you can't see them, but
they leave scars. That's thething.
If I cut my arm on accident, I'mgonna see a scar on my arm. If
you cut my heart, if you cut myemotions, if you cut my love,
the scar's there, and you can'tsee it. But after enough
scarring, after enough pain, itis really easy to start

(39:18):
associating love with heartacheinstead of happiness. And love
is like a foundational elementof happiness. Liz, we jokingly
talked about the HallmarkChannel book.
Commercialization and creatinglove is this ideal, we're
freaking bombarded with, this.And by the way, it's not just
the romantic movies, the romcoms that we joked about.

(39:41):
Freaking go look at yourInstagram feed. I do got
constant talk about finding theone. You know, I found the one a
long time ago when I was 14.
I accepted Jesus in my life.That's the one. Like, do I
happen to have other people thatcome into my life that I love?
Yes. Am I happen to be marriedto the love of my life, my wife,
Kelly?

(40:01):
Yes. Do I happen to love mykids? Yes. But what finding the
the one. Like, no.
Priorities. Come on. Like, bringit in. Let's have a talk. Real
deal holy for you.
Because here's the thing. Whenlife doesn't match up to the
perfect fantasy that we'rescrolling through on the
Instagram feed, the Facebookfeed, the whatever feed, when
when it doesn't look like itlooks in the carnival mirror of

(40:23):
our TV screens, then all of asudden, we feel like we're the
problem. Uh-oh. What happensthen? Well, then we start
wondering if we should trustourself.
Should we love ourself? Is theresomething wrong with us? And so
the toxic exterior is startingto create a toxic interior, and
they're both eroding because ofthe anyway, vulnerability and

(40:47):
fear. 2 things that we've talkedabout on this podcast
historically. Go check out theother episodes.
We'll make sure there's links inthe description if you haven't
listened to them. Listen. Thereis no way around what I am about
to say. Loving someone meansputting yourself out there.
Loving someone means being real.
Loving someone means showingyour true self. Now let's be

(41:10):
honest. That's freakingterrifying. Like, if you think
that it's easy to put yourselfout there, be real, and show
your true self, you're probablylying to yourself because that
stuff is difficult. Like, wearmasks.
We build walls. We've got allsorts of metaphors on how we
keep ourselves safe. Especiallydifficult to do those things

(41:31):
when we live in a world thatpraises independence and
toughness. So admitting that weneed love or that it hurts when
we don't get it can make us feelweak. Liz, we've talked about
when did love stop being cool,the cool factor.
Somewhere along the way in oursociety, staying emotionally
distant became the cool thing todo. James Dean, the Fonz. Like,

(41:56):
free, independent, don't needanybody, on your Harley, riding
down the road. Like, there'sthis this thing that we're
trying to, like, not get peoplelike, instead of being genuine
and open, we've turned to, like,irony, sarcasm, and playing it
cool as a defense. Trust me.

(42:17):
And I think this is why I talkabout the, like, historical
George and the now George. Formany humans like myself, being
guarded is the norm. And ifbeing guarded is the norm, love
ain't cool anymore. And if loveain't cool anymore, you can't
seek and find the thing that youneed most.

I've got a couple of thoughts here as evidenced by
the fact that you watched mepick up my notebook and started

to get your notebook. And I'm like, am I
going to the principal's officeagain?

No. You brought up a lot of really things that I
think we need to talk abouthere. 1st of all, and I wanna
dig a deeper on the pop
culture aspect of it. Has anybody ever noticed
that our favorite love storiesend right when
the actual love story begins? Like, all of these
movies that don't get me wrong.Your girl loves a rom com. Your
girl loves Sleepless in Seattle.Your girl loves all of these

(43:06):
movies.

The notebook? Come on.

No. I actually really don't like them.

Oh, what? Are you serious? That's a whole
another episode then.

I think they're incredibly toxic. She kinda
sucks. Like, I just rewatchedNotting Hill recently, and I
felt like, were we all gaslitinto thinking Julia Roberts'
character was nice? She'sactually kind of awful to him.
Like, it's

it's So that's interesting where your mind is
on these things. So go ahead.

No. Because here's the thing. When I watched
a lot of these movies when I wasyounger, I loved Notting Hill.
Right? Oh my gosh.
He's a bookshop owner, falls inlove with an actress, but But
she never listens to him. She'sactually this weird kind of
detached aloof person. And thenthere are numerous times where
she does things that in a normalhealthy relationship, he has

(43:54):
every right to be upset. Forexample, the first time they are
together, she's actually stillwith a boyfriend. He doesn't
know that.
He finds that out later. And Ikept waiting for this moment of
her to go and say, he thinkswe're still together. I've tried
to break up with him numeroustimes. I didn't know he was
gonna be here. And instead, itturns out they actually are

(44:15):
still in a whole assrelationship together.
She is still with Alec Baldwin.And then she gets mad at him
because he doesn't understandwhat it's like to live a life in
the spotlight. Like, it's justabsolutely banana stuff. I also
think this has to do with verybad writing because every single
other character is very welldeveloped in the movie. Like,
everybody she's just this weirdanomaly that doesn't make any

(44:37):
sense.
But to my broader point, thinkabout how pop culture presents
all of these great love stories.
Yeah.
I was joking about it earlier, but the love
story between Olivia Pope andpresident Fitz Grant is insane.
He is a stalker. He is not ahealthy person. That is
obsession. That is infatuation.

(44:58):
That is he has put her on such ahigh pedestal. She is not even
Olivia Pope anymore. She is anescapist fantasy because he
hates his own life. Like, I'msure there's also the love
component. And don't get mewrong.
Again, I love Scandal. I loveOlivia Pope. I love Vince Grant.
But, like, pop culture teachesus and says these things are
love. So then we think, oh,these things are love.

(45:21):
Yeah.
But they're not. Love is forged whether you're
taught whether we're talkingabout romantic love, familial
love, friendship love. Again,I've written about this in the
newsletter. You have all thegreat memories. Have all the
beautiful moments.
But the moments that bring youcloser to someone, the moment
that makes you go yes, are themoments where you have to do
hard things together

(45:41):
Yeah.
Are the moments where you have to choose each
other even and especially whenit's hard. Yeah. You know? Even
when my ex husband and I splitup, it was very challenging
because we were havingconversations where we had to
kind of admit to each other.We're doing this because we love
each other.
This is not the way anything issupposed to be.

Deeper than romantic love. That's the thing.
Like

Yeah. Exactly. Love shows up in these weird
ways, but think about what popculture teaches us. You either
have someone or you don't youdon't and you're broken. You
have this type of love And if itdoesn't look like this type of
love, which is, by the way,Hollywoodification.

Yeah.

It is infatuation. It explores one
very specific part of arelationship. And then it's,
quote, happily ever after. Sothere's that piece of it. Right?
And then you brought upsomething fascinating. Right?
You brought up the idea of thetrue self. You have to show your
true self. And this is wherethat idea comes in first.
Right? You have to pour loveinto yourself before you can

(46:40):
pour love into the world. But ifyou pour love into yourself, it
becomes far easier to do that.And it enables other people to
do the same for you. But thatrequire in order to show your
true self, a couple of thingshave to happen first.
It's not step 1, show your trueself. Step 1 is allow yourself
to see yourself. Because that'soften what happens. We're not
just wearing a mask to the worldabout who we are. We're wearing

(47:02):
that mask with ourselves.
Because at some point, wetrained ourselves to only be a
version of ourselves. Thatversion is what is acceptable.
That version is what we'reallowed to be. Preach. Because
yeah.
And that is how we end up inthese bizarre situations where
instead of trying to assert andfind true belonging, we try to

(47:23):
fit in. We contort ourselveslike a paper clip. So in order
to actually show our true selfto others, we first need to look
in the mirror, see ourselves,and say, this is okay. This is
more than okay.

By the way

the only way you get comfortable doing
that.

I have to throw this in. When you're
looking in that mirror, makesure you're looking in the agape
mirror.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just saying. A couple things come to
mind, Liz. It's funny youmentioned a lot of chaotic words
that were masquerading as love.Right? I was transported into
yeah.
It's masquerading as love, andthis is probably why my grandpa
said garbage in, garbage out.Because because you see it, you
you now believe it. It's funny.I go I I think it was AT and T

(48:03):
did the the commercial whereit's like, if if it's online,
it's true. Right?
Bonjour. Like, the the the like,the French guy. I'm like, no.
That's not no. Especially in aworld of AI, like, believe none
of what you see, half of whatyou hear.
Like, the the world is justchanging, and so, like, we're
programmed through all of theseways that we think love is or

(48:24):
we're supposed to believe inlove. And so this literally
makes me wanna talk about, like,in an episode of good ways to
guard yourself around what youallow in your life based on what
you wanna export from your life.Anyway, oh, man. This is such a
good conversation.

This is where it gets just really fascinating
because it's this whole idea ofexactly what you said. Right?
What we take in informs ourworld view. It shapes what we
believe is good, bad, orneutral. About ourselves, about
our lives, about what we want,about who we are.
And we live in a bit of astrange society. And our country

(49:04):
is founded upon this ideal ofexceptionalism via
individualism. Right?

Say that fucking fast.

I know. Right? We rise by quote unquote being our
most authentic selves.Championing ourself. But that's
actually not true.
That's actually not true. Wehave a very low tolerance for
things that do not conform. Thisis a whole separate episode that
we do need to have aconversation about. But if we
talk about it from theperspective of love, this is

(49:30):
where you need to start askingyourself. Are you seeking
without what you should beseeking within first?

Maybe that's the quote of the episode. Thank
god.

And the other thing you need to ask yourself
is, is it really actuallyuncool? Or do you know love is
the coolest thing in the worldand you just don't think it's
cool to say it out loud? Becausemy guess is it's that.

It's cool, but I'm afraid

Hey. That's me. Don't you dare. Don't you dare.
That's hurtful.

So I'm just I'm saying.

George, why isn't it in the superhuman framework?
What the heck?

I had so many emotions when I saw this
question. I first

wanted to cry. Coming.

But I wanted to cry and then I wanted to
scream because it is part of thesuperhuman framework.

No. It's it's infused and inferred, but it's
not.

But it is. Here's the thing. We actually
haven't had a chance to dig inand talk about this underlying
foundation that is part of the10 h elements. And and by the
way, I did a interview withChris Carolyn, a friend of mine,
around, like, the business sideof this because we're taking the
superhuman framework from justpersonal growth to personal
teams and organizational culturebecause we've just seen this,

(50:36):
like, massive impact in beingable to talk around it this way.
But in a conversation that I washaving with him, I was talking
about it's the underlyingfoundation.
It's almost like the tablestakes that one needs to be
thinking about when they layeron the 10 h's above, and that's
love, purpose, passion, andpersistence. Like, those four
words, love, purpose, passion,and persistence, are so

(50:58):
entangled and entwined in the 10h's in the life that you're
trying to live when you'retrying to live a life beyond
your default. And so I wannagive examples of, like, it is in
the framework, the veins of thearteries of the framework. And
so what it might look like is,like, if we look at happiness,
love is more than just afleeting feeling or a feel good
moment. It's what makeshappiness deep and lasting if we

(51:21):
have love tied into it.
When we when we genuinely loveothers and ourselves, like we've
talked about so far on thispodcast, happiness becomes more
than just a passing emotion. Itit's something that sticks
around, grows stronger,radiating out and, from us and
around of those, it becomeshappiness, transforms itself
into what I might call joy.Listen. We think about health,

(51:43):
love, especially self love,going and get a manny and pedi,
nudges us to take better care ofour selves. It motivates us to
develop healthy habits, and itit motivates us to practice self
care and kindness.
And when we're surrounded bylove from others, we get the
emotional support we need tostay mentally strong, mentally

(52:05):
healthy. If we look at hustleand hungry, the words that we've
combined together, love is thefire that fuels our drive and
passion. It's what makes ushungry for more and more
knowledge, more growth, moresuccess. When we truly love our
goals, the people in our lives,and and and life itself, we stay

(52:26):
motivated to keep pushingforward. If I think about
helpful in the framework, whenlove is at the heart of what we
do, helping others isn't justsomething we do out of
obligation.
It's something we want to do.Ladies and gentlemen, this is
why we create the podcast inevery episode. It's something we

(52:46):
want to do. We wanna be helpful.Love naturally makes us wanna
support and uplift a hand up,not a hand out.
Those around us because wegenuinely care about their
well-being. Humility. Loveteaches us humility. It reminds
us that putting others first,recognizing our limits, and
staying open to learning are allpart of being connected to

(53:10):
something bigger than ourselves.Through love, we learn to stay
grounded and focused on whatreally matters.
Liz, I could go through the restof the h's with ease, but what I
want everybody to understand isthat love is in humor. Love is
in the holistic mindset. Love isin honesty. Love is in humanity
by all that is holy. Oh my god.

(53:31):
And holiness. You can't have aconversation about holiness and
have some level of love. I don'tcare if you're Muslim, Islamic,
Christian. Like, there arefundamental elements in there.
Like, in a spiritual sense, loveoften feels sacred.
It it guides our actions andintentions. It helps us live

(53:52):
with purpose and stay alignedwith higher principles. Love
inspires us to connect withsomething bigger, whether that's
through faith, spirituality, ordeep respect for the world, the
universe around us. So, like,love is everything. Love is
everywhere.
It's our relationship that wehave to lean in and focus on

(54:14):
what part are we willing to playwith it and in it.

Well, you already started kind of answering this,
but I am curious, particularlysince it wasn't that long ago
that we had this conversationwhere you and I were both like,
well, yeah, we don't wanna soundlike hippies.

Yeah.

We would really we would really hard pass. And
no offense to hippies. You guyshave guys have great music in
the sixties.

Yo. Listen. My mom is like she's very much kind
of that hippie person.

Yeah. Because even think about it. Let's think
about it. Like, we won't don'twanna be hippies, but if you
actually sit down, think hippiesare really nice.

Man, good people, by the way.

Really good. Exactly. But we don't wanna be
them. So this is what's sofascinating about this. This
whole conversation is we'vebasically would say her like, we
are the biggest champions oflove.

Do not tell anyone. Well, but here's the
thing. Because we don't want toadmit that we have judged them
for being who they are, andtherefore, we won't be like them
even if we think they're cool infear that others will judge us
for being who we are.

So you're just gonna break my brain like that.
You're gonna break my brain likethat while we're live.

This is the paradox we're in. This is the
paradox that most humans livein.

I will not hold this against you forever. It's
fine.

Just the rest of the day?

Just the rest of the day and into eternity. It's
fine. Oh. So what's fascinatingabout this what's fascinating
about this conversation thoughis that it wasn't that long ago.
The conversation you and I hadwhere you said you can't say
love is the reason foreverything.
You just say that. And when wepushed, we were both like, well,
we don't wanna
be we don't wanna look like hippies. We don't
wanna look uncool.
Right? That was literally 2 weeks ago. So you
and I have now done an abruptabout face in some ways. Like,

(55:47):
where should we showed up to themic today ready to have this
conversation?

Well, I made myself mad.

You made yourself mad.

I made myself mad. I was mad that I even said
that, and I was mad that Iwasn't willing to not show up as
a hippie, not show up as aChristian Jesus freak, but I was
mad because I wasn't willing toshow up as George. And this
conversation is a Georgeconversation. This conversation
is a Liz conversation. Thisconversation is a Bob, a Jenny,
a Susie.

(56:14):
I can't list out all the namesthat are out there in the world.
This is a you freakingconversation.

So how do you want people to think about love
differently? How can we makelove cool again?

Yeah. Well, first of all, realize it's a you
conversation, and you need to becool. So freaking embrace love.
But going deeper than that, Iwant people to look at love as
and, again, we've kind ofalluded to this, but you gotta
look at love as an activepractice. Think of action and
choice.
Like, get past all the thingsthat we've talked about. Love is

(56:48):
not just about feeling warm andfuzzy. It's about what you do
every day across differenttraditions. If you really dig
into this and start to do somestudying on the types of love
that we mentioned, acrossdifferent traditions, love is
described as something youpractice through acts of
kindness, helping others,showing compassion, being loyal.

(57:12):
Love is an action.
It's about how you care forhumans and how you take on your
responsibilities and how youshow up even when it's tough.
Love isn't just a feeling. It'sa choice that we get the
opportunity to make every singleday as long as we're not 6 feet

(57:33):
under the ground. So whatchoice, what actions, what way
will you show up today? I wantpeople to look at love as
something to help them be rootedin compassion and understanding.
By the way, at the core of allof the teachings, Muslim,
Christian, Islamic, Buddhism, atthe core of all of these

(57:55):
teachings is the idea that loveis all about compassion,
empathy, and wanting the bestfor others. The funny thing
about this journey beyond yourdefault life is when you
actually want the best forothers, the best for you shows
up at your front door. When wetry to truly understand people,
even those who are and you'vemet them, they might be your

(58:19):
family members, they might beyour friends, but especially
those people who are hard tolove, we build stronger
connections and we create a morepeaceful world. Ladies and
gentlemen, if there's somethingthat we need in our culture
today, it's just for it to be alittle bit more peaceful and

(58:39):
less chaotic. And I want peopleto look at love as the
foundation of community andmaybe even a lever or gauge for
justice.
Love isn't just something thatexists between individuals. It
also is about how we treat ourcommunities. And, Liz, you know,

(58:59):
like, for years now, I've beenfocused on community and
community building in thedifferent spaces that I'm in the
HubSpot ecosystem, now theBeyond Your Default. Like, it's
about community. It's about acollective.
It's about creating a minisociety. And when love drives us
to seek justice, equity,equality, collective well-being,

(59:23):
we help build a morecompassionate, and dare I say,
fair society slash communityslash circle, group o humans
that we hang out with. I want toinject in the brains, the minds,
the souls, the spirits, thehearts of the listeners that
when we think about love, I wantus to think about devotion and

(59:47):
loyalty. One thing that you willfind out about me and I would
say, Liz, and also probably thepeople that we hang out with is
that we have a loyalty to afault. If you are my ride or
die, if I am Toretto, trust me.
You are with me till the end.And so that's because of this

(01:00:09):
foundational love. Like and,again, let's go out of the Fast
and Furious reference and talkabout, like, traditions of the
world. If most of the traditionshighlight love as a deep
enduring commitment, whetherit's to your family, your
community, or something greaterthan yourself. The kind of love

(01:00:30):
isn't just about, again, the wayyou feel.
It's about sticking by thepeople, sticking by the values
that you actually care about.It's the kind of commitment that
brings stability and purpose toour lives. I kind of do this
funny thing where at the end ofthe episode, I go, living a life

(01:00:50):
beyond your default. What I wantpeople to realize is when I talk
about that, I'm really talkingabout a pathway to inner peace
and fulfillment. The only waythat you live a life beyond your
default, the only way that youwalk a path to inner peace and
fulfillment is by lovingyourself, loving others, and
we've kind of alluded or pokedat this or or even blatantly

(01:01:12):
said it through this podcast.
Loving others isn't just goodfor them. It's good for them.
Don't get me wrong. But it'sessential for your own sense of
peace and happiness. Buddhismteaches us that by practicing
compassion and letting go ofselfish desires that we can find
inner harmony.
Likewise, the Christian faithand Islamic teachings suggest

(01:01:33):
that living a life of lovebrings us closer to our true
purpose and leads to a deepersense of contentment than
material success ever could.Liz, the foundational elements,
If you think about what I justsaid of the 10 h framework, the
superhuman framework, love,purpose, passion, persistence,

(01:01:57):
like, these are all built intoand out of just these core
elements and essence. I needpeople to quit looking in the
carnival fun mirror. I needpeople to quit believing or
idolizing these abstract ideasof love. Love equals meaningful.

(01:02:20):
Love means connected. Love meansa fulfilling life.

Liz Moorehead (01:02:24):
I was a little disappointed when you said let's
move away from the fast andfurious stuff, but

George B. Thomas (01:02:28):
I I understand.

I understand. Okay. So, George, if someone
were to take one thing away fromthis episode, what would it be?
Yeah. By

the way, I'm super curious what your one
thing is gonna be. My one thingwould be I'm cheating. I'm gonna
do 2 things. So first of all, Iwould beg that your goal would
be in the next thing that I'mabout to say that you are
chasing agape love. I would begyou to focus on agape, the
selfless love, the love that isextended to all people, the love

(01:02:56):
that is focused on compassionand commitment, that's focused
on well-being of yourself andothers.
Now if that's the direction thatyou're headed, the next thing
that I would just say is make ita daily practice. Make love an
intentional daily practice. Loveis not just something that

(01:03:17):
happens. Love is something thatwe actively choose. So as a
daily practice, incorporate loveinto your routines.
This might be kindness. Thismight be offering support. This
might be just taking time to bepresent for others. But trust
me, when love becomes a habit,it shapes not only your

(01:03:41):
relationship, but also yourcharacter and your outlook on
life. If you can change youroutlook, you will change your
outcome.
Liz, what's your one takeaway?

Life gets infinitely more fun when you
stop worrying about whether ornot something is cool or uncool,
whether that's love or thethings that you love. Half the
time, whether we're talkingabout love or something else,
we're worried about beingjudged, which means we are
dimming our light, which meanswe are not willing to show our

(01:04:16):
true selves to ourselves or toanybody else because we believe
that who we are as we are is notenough or is too much or will
not fit in or dada dada dadadada. The moment we we shine as
brightly as possible with love,with excitement for things like
Fast and Furious movies, lovethem forever.
By the
way, I have some bad news for you. They've

(01:04:37):
delayed the release of the lastmovie until 2026. Dodo. Yeah. I
saw that and I

I don't love that.

I hate that. I hate that for all of us. Like,
Vin Diesel, you are robbing usof your art. Come on, man.
Although there is a rumor JohnCena is gonna be back.
Oh.

I know. Okay.

I know.

And The Rock? Anyway, not why we're here.

Yeah. The Rock. Well, he it's supposed to be
about him.

Okay. Now

You remember the after credit scene?

Yeah. Yeah. Now we're getting somewhere.
Okay.

Alright. So think about it this way. I love
watching people light up whenthey finally remove the
trappings of what they believethey need to show up as. And
those moments where you startwatching people talk about what
they love and who they love andthey're doing so in such a way
that you can tell they theydon't have that doubt or fear.
They feel psychologically safeto love whatever it is and

(01:05:28):
whoever it is that they love.
It is incredible. Peoplefundamentally change. They talk
with their whole body. Theysmile with their whole body.
They become love personified.
And you know what? Here's what Iwill tell you. Stop worrying
about being cool or uncoolbecause there are always gonna
be people who think you'reuncool. But them thinking you're
uncool is more about rejecting apart of themselves than it is

(01:05:50):
about rejecting you. Becausethink about the times, George,
in your life where you've lookedat someone and went unless they
were kicking puppies, in whichcase f them.
Don't kick puppies. But, like,talking. But think about, like,
where people are being unabashedabout who they are, what they
are, who they love, what theylove, and you're just, part of
that has to do is we kinda wishwe could be like them. Maybe not

(01:06:11):
exactly like them. Maybe wedon't love the same things, but
we envy their ability to just beout there and themselves.
You're not for everybody norshould you be. That's why it's
called the one, not many ones.You know? That's why it's your
tribe. Not all peoples all thetime.
Be uncool. It's alright. It'sfun over here. It's way more

(01:06:34):
fun.

Listeners, here's the deal. I love that
don't be all things to allpeople because you can't be. But
here's the thing. Let your lightshine. I swear to god, don't you
dare dim it.
Be cool by the way and lead withlove because that truly is the
cool factor. And being able toenable yourself to lead with
love and then the only thingleft to do is go out there and

(01:06:58):
live a life beyond your default.

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