Your Humanity: A Balancing Act of Authenticity and Well-being

Episode Transcript
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George B. Thomas (00:02):
The real deal, Holyfield, is that you have to
be open about your feelings andexperiences. And the best part
of this is, like, be open withyour feelings and experiences
with trusted friends or family.Have a space and a place to
share your vulnerabilitiesbecause sharing your feelings
and experiences and sharing yourvulnerabilities can help you
realize that and this is soimportant. And I think it ties

(00:25):
into that we all wanna belong.But it can lean into, like,
helping you realize that you'renot alone in your struggles.
And again, because you enablethis, it builds that better
connection with others.Embracing vulnerability allows
for genuine connection. Itbuilds a sense of community. It
helps you develop emotionalresilience by facing and sharing

(00:48):
your true self, your whole asshuman, which essentially you're
showing up as you. You'reshowing up as a better human.
You're becoming a better humanalong the way. And by embracing
these three best practices,we're literally laying a solid
foundation for our journeytowards self acceptance and our

(01:10):
humanity. It's through selfcompassion, positive self talk,
and vulnerability that we cancreate this environment within
ourselves that is not toxic, notcorrosive, but positive and
loving. And because of that, itradiates outward towards those
around us.

Liz Moorehead (01:33):
Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm Liz
Warhead. And as always, I'mjoined by the one and only
George b Thomas, but I'm gonnabe honest, listeners, feeling a
little nervous. Feeling a littlenervous because right before you
hit record, I did a quickcheck-in. You know?
Hey. Are you excited about thisepisode? What do you think?
Because we do a lot of prep thatgoes into this.

Yeah. And

you're like, it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be
interesting. It's going to be agood time. Yeah. Lucy.
Hi, George.

Hello, Liz. How are you doing?

Well, before we get into how, apparently, you're
either going to enlighten me ortorment me or I guess a little
column a, a little column b thisweek. Highlights and lowlights.
What you got? How was weekend?

Weekend was interesting. I did a good amount
of work. I also allowed my selftime to play. And when I say
play, I really mean just allowmy brain to think. I was
thinking about the beyond yourdefault book this weekend and
kind of messing around with somestuff and some ideas, and I

(02:37):
think about the superhumanframework.
And I can only do those thingswhen I'm able to kinda set, you
know, the George b Thomas andthe sidekick strategy stuff to
the side and really And

sidekick strategies being your agency.

Yeah. Yeah. Being the agency, we help people
with sales marketing service,you know, HubSpot
implementation, CRM, nerdy stufflike that. But when I can set
the speaking and MC ing and theagency stuff aside and really
just reflect on what I'm tryingto do with this podcast and the
future book. And that was it wasvery relaxing and really tapping

(03:12):
into the human side of who I amand what I wanna do on this
planet.

Did you have a low light or we're just sticking
with the highlight this week?

Low light for me is actual a possible future
highlight. Sometimes in life, wethink that we're doing good and
hitting on all cylinders. Andthen we have a moment in time
where one of those cylindersblows a gasket, and we get
insight into a place in our lifewhere we might wanna focus more

(03:46):
and we might wanna try to fixand we might try to be better.
That's about as deep as I'mgonna go in that, but I had a
moment this weekend where I waslike, I can really do better
with that. But again, low light,but potential success in
highlight in the future becauseof paying attention to the

(04:07):
engine and seeing this here,this little piece needs a tune
up, then, yeah, it becomes anopportunity instead of something
that, like, makes us stop deadon the side of the road.

Well, my highlight from the weekend is
unlike last week where mybiggest highlight was I saw no
one. I was an antisocial potato.I did nothing. The only people
who saw me were the people atFresh Market. This week, I felt
like I struck a really goodbalance between me time and we
time.
In fact, what was interesting isI spent most of my time actually

(04:39):
hanging out with one veryspecific friend of mine, a girl
who is just this incrediblemusician. She looks like this
punk rock, like, whatever. Like,yeah. And she has the voice of a
Disney princess.

Oh, nice.

Oh my gosh. So we hung out this past weekend, and
it was great because I've alwaysknown her, but we didn't get to
spend a ton of time together,and it was just totally driven
by conversation. Nobody waspicking up their phones except
to say, oh my gosh. You wouldlove this album. Let me send it
to you.
Oh my gosh. You need to knowthis book. Oh my gosh. Let me
order it. And it was just such abeautiful and organic

(05:13):
experience.
And then I capped off theweekend by watching her do a
live show at this local winebar, and it was just so
beautiful. It was just reallynice. I don't know. I I just I
remember sitting there, like, myfriends are so stinking
talented. But I also had the metime.
Right? And it was interesting. Iwas spending a lot of time doing
some different beyond yourdefault work this weekend. And I

(05:34):
had that same feeling of, oh,this is the feel good human
stuff. This is the stuff thatmakes makes you feel, like,
really kinda warm and happyinside.
You know? It it's the stuffwhere it's, like, during the
week, it's really easy for me todeprioritize it in terms of,
like, there are other revenueproducing activities I could be
doing.

Yep.

And but then when I sit down and I do the work and
I create the space for it, it'slike, this extra time is worth
doing that. I was going throughand it was really unsexy work.
Basically, I was going through,what, 40 46 plus episodes of
quotes and trying to organizethem. Because when I first
exported them, I didn't labelany of the episodes like an
idiot. So I've been going backand trying to organize it

(06:14):
because otherwise, you can't usethem.
You have no idea what to linkthem to. So I spent, like, hours
doing that, and it was just butat the I was having the best
time. Like, this felt so good.And so it was just really nice.
I felt like I had that perfectdual focus of even whether I was
with me or I was with we.
It was all fill your cup stuff.So I'm getting to Monday

(06:34):
morning, and even though I waskinda stacked, plus I had some
other work I had to do thisweekend, like, actual work, I
didn't feel like I missed myweekend.

Right.

And then I started looking back, George,
And I remember, like, this time2 years ago, I always felt like
I needed a weekend for myweekend.

Yeah.

And between the work work that we're doing and
this work that we're doing andjust kind of regrounding myself
I can't remember the last time Isaid that, and that felt really
good.

Yeah. That's important to note.

Low light. I hit my funny bone and that ish ain't
funny.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot how that I got how not funny that is.

I hate that.

I know it's a small thing, but I was so angry.

Yeah. Like, the one place you don't wanna
bump and that's it.

And they call it funny. Who is the butthead

Yeah.

Who was on the branding committee

Yeah.

For that?

I don't know. Wrong, but We need to figure
that out. Send them a stronglywritten note.

After we we get into today's topic that you are
apparently, there's a joyride instore for me. We're talking
about another pillar this weekof the superhuman framework.
Yeah.

And it's By the way, which, by the way, I
think it's a joyride for me aswell and a joyride for the
listeners. And part of my givingyou a hard time before we hit
the record button was I'mexcited because I've said for
years years years, like,literally 10 to 12 years, be a
happy, helpful, humble human.

Mhmm.

On our other podcast, Hub Heroes, I literally
do a Human. Like, sound effect.Right? And so, having this
ability to really unpack, like,the words around what I mean and
my brain when I say human orbetter human, good human, like,
humanity in a, you know, squaredhide whatever. Like, that's what

(08:24):
I'm excited about today.
That's the journey.

This is the crossover episode I've been
waiting for. You

know? Yeah.

Because for those who do not listen to our other
podcast or maybe yourfamiliarity with George b Thomas
has only been through thisdoorway, you have been waving
the humanity flag

Yeah.

Forever and not as some sort of gimmick. In
fact, your whole ethos andphilosophy in the way you
approach sales and marketing is3 words. Is it 3 or 4? 4. It's
all about the humans.
So 5.

5.

This is why I'm paid as a writer, guys, and not
a mathematician.

The thing is you can simplify that is I try
to do everything aroundbusiness, sales, marketing,
service being human centric.Yep. Like, human focused. So
yeah. So this is this is fun toget, like, the personal vibes,
feels, narrative around wherethat side of it comes from.

Well, yeah. Let's start digging into it because
unsurprisingly, of course,humanity became one of the
pillars of the superhumanframework, which includes 10
pillars that help you build yourmost authentic version of what
it means to live a life beyondyour default. Right? Yeah.
Because the whole idea of thesuperhuman framework is that it
provides a blueprint.

(09:38):
It provides an architecture, butit is an up to us as
individuals, as humans

Yes.

To personalize that framework, to personalize
that architecture, to reimaginehow that expresses itself across
our life. And we've actuallytalked about humanity at least
in some capacity before. One ofour earliest episodes was about,
you're just a human. You gottabe kind to yourself on this
journey.

Yep.

But today, we are digging straight into it. So
when we say humanity, George, inthe context of the superhuman
framework, you know, what doesthat even mean? What what is
humanity? Which I know is justlike a nice simple softball
question.

Yeah.

Not existential at all.

Yeah. It's just a tiny little thing.

But Just define humanity. Yeah.

What what is the world? So, you know, it's
funny, Liz, because when I thinkabout what it means to truly
embrace humanity, and when I saythat, what I mean is to be the
best human that we can be, a fewcore principles come to mind,
and one of the things I wouldchallenge the listeners is to
write down words that stand outto them so that they can go back

(10:45):
and start to, like, unpack whatthey mean in their lives. And
I'll also give the listenersfair warning that I'm gonna just
ask some random questions alongthe way that I want you to write
down and ponder over the nextweek or a couple weeks as you
think about your humanity andbeing a good human and what that
means on this journey beyond alife, beyond your default type

(11:10):
thing. So a couple ofprinciples. 1st, there's
compassion and empathy.
These these are hot buttons forme. Compassion is the heartfelt
desire that you should have tohelp others who, might be
suffering. Suffering could beeverything from, like, really
suffering or just simply havinga hard time. For us, it involves

(11:30):
recognizing when somebody is inpain and and feeling a genuine,
I'm gonna use that word, genuineimpulse to help that person. For
me, this ties back to what I'vesaid in historical podcast of
It's because of this that I'mthe hand up guy.
Like, I'm trying to give peoplea hand up. I'm compassion. I'm

(11:51):
empathetic. I'm paying attentionto where they're at, and I'm
having a belief in where theycan actually go. This emotional
response that we could andshould have often leads to
actions that are providingcomfort, support, and relief.
Right? So I want you to thinkabout compassion and empathy

(12:12):
equals comfort, support, andrelief when it comes to this
idea of humanity and being agood human. Listeners, I have to
ask you. What was the last actof compassion that you
witnessed, and how did it impactyou or somebody in your life?
Right?
So what do you see this in yourlife? And if so, when was the

(12:32):
last time you've actually seenit? Mahatma Gandhi once said the
best way to find yourself is tolose yourself in the service of
others. You can only loseyourself in the service of
others if you're beingcompassionate, empathetic. The
Bible even says in Ephesians432, be kind to one another,

(12:52):
tenderhearted, forgiving oneanother as God in Christ forgave
you.
So, like, empathy, like, andcompassion are these key pieces,
which, by the way, that we'retalking about compassion there.
Empathy, when we think aboutthat, is the ability to, like,
understand and share anotherperson's feelings. Again, on
this podcast, I've talked about,you know, walking a mile in

(13:16):
their moccasins or their shoes.It it goes beyond this idea of
sympathy by allowing you to putyourself in someone else's shoes
experiencing their emotions. Thekeyword there, ladies and
gentlemen, is experiencing theiremotions, not watching their
emotions, not feeling theiremotions, but experiencing their

(13:37):
emotions and the perspectives asif they were your own, truly
embracing who this human is andwhere they're at.
This creates a deeper connectionwhich builds understanding and
strengthens the relationshipsthat we have and that we're part
of. And, again, when we thinkabout this empathy and really

(13:57):
embracing, Romans 12:15 remindsus rejoice with those who
rejoice and mourn with those whomourn. But to rejoice or mourn,
you have to understand ifthey're rejoicing or mourning.
Like, you have to be tuned intothis actual piece. And so being
human in these elements meanstaking the time to understand

(14:17):
and share in the feelings ofothers.
I mean, we've all had thatfriend, and if you don't have a
friend, maybe you can imaginehaving a friend. I'm sure if
you're listening to this, youhave friends, but they're going
through a tough time. Right? Andinstead of just offering generic
advice, which maybe we all havedone, instead of that, maybe we
sit with them and we actuallylisten actively and share or,

(14:42):
again, embrace their feelings.Well, if we can do that instead
of just the generic advice, thisshows true empathy and makes
your friend feel understood,supported, and seen.
Right? So I want you to thinkabout compassion and empathy
equaling people beingunderstood, supported, and seen.
This is like the layers of beinga good human or focusing on how

(15:06):
to 2 x humanity. I mean,listeners, I want you to think
to yourself, how often do youtruly listen to understand
rather than just respond? Like,listen.
I'm gonna be completely honest.Over the weekend, I had to
activate true listening and notjust listen to respond. I I was
I I had a moment this weekendwhere I was in, input mode. Let

(15:30):
me just bring it in because Iknow I'm gonna need some time to
think about it, and then I'mgonna activate from there. But
compassion and empathy, whatthey don't mean is being
indifferent or dismissive.
It's not about, like, ignoringthe pain or offering superficial
support with genuine care. Like,you have to allow yourself to go

(15:51):
to this next level, which, bythe way, I fully understand and
have been there. When we embracecompassion and empathy, there is
the potential to be hurt becausewe are going to that next level,
but we have to be okay withthat. Liz, when I keep going
down this journey in my brain ofthis idea of what is being human
or humanity or or or a goodhuman, I have to bring up

(16:14):
respect and dignity. Respect anddignity are are crucial elements
of being human.
Respect recognizes andappreciates every every every
every every single individual'sworth and dignity. It involves
considering others, honoringtheir rights, feelings, and
values, and acknowledging theirinherent value as human beings.

(16:38):
I still wanna use the soundeffect, by the way. But it you
just you have to acknowledgethat they're valuable no matter
who they are. Respect, when wecan lean into this, builds
positive interactions.
It builds mutual understanding.And, again, it builds the
positive interactions and mutualunderstanding regardless of the

(16:59):
differences. So many times Iwatch our culture today, and
it's so polarizing. People areeither one side or the other or
it's black or it's white. It'sjust very binary.
And to me, that equals a closedmindset. When you can't respect
others, when you can't lean intopositive interactions and mutual

(17:21):
understanding, no matter if wehave differences or not, like,
again, it equals closed mindedversus growth minded. And so if
we think about dignity, again,this is their value, their
worth, which entitles them to betreated in an ethically and just
way. And there's so many timesthat we say things that just

(17:41):
aren't that. Everyone deservesto be treated with honor and
respect.
Making sure that their selfworth is acknowledged and
preserved. And again, I'm notsaying that this is like you
gotta treat humans with kidgloves. No. Like, you still have
to give them the real dealHolyfield, but you can do that

(18:03):
in a way that is respectful andholds up the dignity that they
should have. I love this quoteby Albert Einstein where he
says, our task must be to freeourselves.
By widening our circle ofcompassion to embrace all living
creatures and the whole ofnature and its beauty. The whole

(18:24):
of nature. Not our bubble, notour little circle, but the
whole. Like, being human meanstreating everyone equally no
matter the differences. I I wantyou to consider interacting with
someone from a different cultureor spiritual background.
First of all, when we talk aboutreligion, holy polarizing. When

(18:44):
we talk about differentcultures, because there's
misunderstanding, sometimes wejust shut it off at the
beginning. But think about nexttime it's a different culture or
it's a spiritual background,treating them with the same
respect and openness as youwould anyone else without
letting the differences createbarriers. This is this is what's

(19:04):
gonna embody that dignity. Thisis what's gonna show that you
actually have the respect forthem.
Listeners, I need you to again,I told you I was gonna just ask
some random questions because Iwant you to think about where
you fit into this conversationthat we're having, but how can
you practice treating otherswith more dignity and respect in
your daily life? Like, I'm gonnalet that sit for a second

(19:26):
because that's not a smallquestion. Like, where right now
do you go, oh, that, oh, thatthat one hurts. But you have to
ask yourself, how can I practicetreating others with more
dignity and respect in my dailylife? Respect and dignity are
not about just toleratingdisrespect or accepting unjust

(19:47):
treatment.
It's not about enabling harmfulbehavior or failing to stand up
for what's right, but it isabout giving them the respect
and dignity for who they are aswonderfully created humans.
Another piece that I have hitupon here, and and and I didn't
really expect this to be as longof answer as it's turning out to

(20:09):
be. But if I let myself continueto go down this road, I think an
essential aspect is helpingothers without expecting. I have
this rule, 0 expectations, butwithout expecting anything in
return and understanding thatwe're trying to contribute to
the greater good. Like, considersomething as simple as a

(20:29):
neighbor struggling to carry inthe groceries and offering to
help them without expectinganything in return.
It's a simple yet powerful actof kindness that contributes to,
like, a greater good, but wewatch our neighbors struggle
with their groceries or strugglewith their lawn or here's one
for you, which blows my mindbecause growing up in Montana

(20:52):
and the fact that maybe I'm 52and growing up in what feels
like a different world. Listen,I I have to ask you. When's the
last time you actually opened adoor for a stranger? Is that
gone in our society? Do youstill do that?
I challenge you today afterlistening to this whenever
you're listening to us, find astranger and open the dang door

(21:13):
for him and see what happens.See what happens with them. See
how it makes you feel. Listen.Mother Teresa reminds us this
and and Liz if I was gonna give,like, one point out of this
entire podcast that I would wantpeople to go back to and just
embrace, it's this Mother Teresaquote because she said, it is

(21:34):
not how much we give, but howmuch we love or how much love we
put into giving.
Come on. Like, how much becauselove, by the way, is another key
core concept that I'm like I Ihave talked many times about
just, like, leading with love.And so how much love are you
putting into the things versusmeasuring just the things that

(21:57):
you're doing? Helping otherswithout expect like, helping
others without expectinganything in return doesn't mean
seeking recognition or rewardsfor your actions. It's not about
performing acts of kindness forthe sake of applause or a
personal gain.
Matthew 634 actually teaches us,but when you give to the needy,

(22:18):
do not let your left hand knowwhat your right hand is doing so
that you're giving may be insecret so that you're giving may
be in secret if you're doing itto be in the limelight, then
you're doing it for the wrongreasons. And all of this, by the
way, that we're talking about,leans into this idea of just
humans having these ethicalbehaviors that involve acting in

(22:42):
ways that are consistent withmaybe societal and norms. I have
a hard time with that becauseit's like, I'm in the world, but
not of the world anyway. But butdefinitely moral principles. It
includes things like andremember, listeners, you're
supposed to be writing wordsdown along the way, but it
includes things like beinghonest, being fair, treating

(23:06):
others with respect and dignity.
It's having these guiding valueslike integrity, responsibility,
transparency. It's making surethat actions and decisions are
not only lawful, but alsomorally right and beneficial to
you and to the humans thatyou're actually journeying. This

(23:26):
life on this world, on thisplanet, it requires a commitment
to doing the right thing evenwhen that right thing is
challenging or even when no oneis watching. Like, as humans, we
have to stick to our moralprinciples. We have to keep our
integrity as a high importantpiece that we're always focused

(23:47):
on.
It's not about cutting corners.It's not about, like,
compromising our values to makepeople happy. It's not about
just doing it when it'sconvenient. It's about acting
with integrity all the time, notwhen it's just easy or
beneficial. Now, Liz, you knowme.
I have to list 3 other pieces,and then I'm done with this. As

(24:11):
far as the definition of what Iwould say around humanity and
being a good human,Spirituality, which we talked
about recently in anotherpodcast episode, holiness, can
provide a deeper connection tothese values that I've mentioned
so far, grounding us in a senseof purpose. Servanthood is about
putting others' needs above ourown and building a community

(24:33):
where everyone thrives. I wantyou to ask yourself, how can you
incorporate more acts ofservanthood in your daily life,
listeners? I know I need to askmyself that.
There was a day when I wasfocused on mission trips and
soup kitchens, but, you know,life is lifing, but how can we

(24:54):
get back to incorporating moreacts of servanthood into our
daily life? At the end of theday, spirituality, servanthood,
respect, empathy, compassion,all of this is designed to bring
a sense of calm into our livesand help us respond to
challenges with grace andpatience and helping us maintain

(25:14):
our focus on what truly mattersin your life. Philippians 467
says or encourages us, do not beanxious about anything, But in
every situation, by prayer andpetition, with thanksgiving,
present your request to god, andthe peace of god, which
transcends all understandingwill guard your hearts and your

(25:38):
minds in Christ Jesus. Being agood human, Liz, means genuinely
caring for others, treatingeveryone with respect and
dignity, helping selflessly,adhering to ethical principles
along the way, and living abalanced life grounded in
spirituality, servanthood, andcalmness. It's about making a

(25:59):
real positive impact on theworld while growing as an
individual.
And these values, these topics,these beliefs make us better
humans. And, Liz, the key pointto this piece too is it creates
the positive ripple effects thatwe're all trying to do. Or at

(26:20):
least for me, the thing that Iwanna see when I'm done.

If anybody isn't subscribing to our newsletter
yet, beyond yourdefault.comforward/newsletter
because you you expressed howimportant those ripples are

Yeah.

When it comes to examining our own human
experience. I wanna take amoment and point out, you know,
I'm hearing echoes of ourconversation last week on
holiness. And if you didn'tlisten to it, the high level is
that there's this idea ofnurturing your soul, nurturing
your humanity regardless of yourbelief structure, whether that
is a monotheistic, traditionalreligious aspect, a more broad

(26:58):
spiritual, universal, divine wayof thinking. It could be other
disciplines or quite frankly,you could have a more secular
viewpoint of the world. Thisidea of nurturing our soul and
our humanity is really gearedtoward it doesn't matter your
belief structure.

Yeah.

But what I find fascinating about what I've been
listening to you say and why Icall back to that conversation
is that in order to embracehumanity, we have to first
remember that our humanity andwe're gonna get into a little
bit about how that individuallyexpresses for ourselves. It
begins as a collective. Thefirst step is de centering the

(27:37):
me and tapping into the we, andthat's where you get where
you're going. You know, that'swhere you really start to unlock
some really special stuff.Because if you're decentering
the me and focusing on the we,it becomes easier to do what you
had been talking about.
Right? Those conversations whereyou need to turn on active

(27:57):
listening. If you're not puttingme first and you're putting we
first, that becomes a lot easierto do even if you have to sit
with uncomfortable emotions,which Yeah. If you listen to our
toxic positivity episode, that'sokay to do. You know?
You have the buy in already todo the hard things. Now, I wanna
start dipping our toes a bithere into the individual

(28:19):
expressions of it. Right?Because humanity is a
collective. It is this we, butwe each play our own role as a
member of this Yeah.
And you Yeah. And you talk aboutthis in our conversation in the

(28:40):
superhuman framework about theimportance and the emphasis of
authenticity and vulnerability.How have these qualities
impacted your personal andprofessional relationships when
you've practiced what youpreached, when you have
emphasized these things?

1st of all, I love authenticity and
vulnerability. Listen, I'veshared the story of, like, how I
learned being vulnerable equalsmagic moments. Authenticity, you
know, one of the things that Ilove to hear is, man, no matter
if I see you on stage, no matterif I'm sitting at your fire pit,
like, you are who you are. Like,I just get George. Because I try

(29:19):
really, really hard not to bedifferent people in different
situations.
I just try to show up as me andand have these kind of core
pieces, being human, beinghappy, being helpful, lead the
way. But, you know,authenticity, vulnerability,
when I think about this, like,they are really 2 big pieces

(29:39):
that shape our lives andrelationships. So it's easier to
be a friend, be a husband, be afather, whatever you are. You
might be a mother. You might bea wife.
But it's it's easier to havethose relationships when you're
showing up as your authenticself and not wearing a mask and

(30:00):
willing to be vulnerable,whether that's vulnerable in
listening or vulnerable in whatyou have to say. And what I want
everybody to realize is when wetalk about authenticity, it's
all about being true to yourselfand showing others who you
really are. And I mean warts andall, like the good, the bad, the

(30:22):
ugly, being willing to actuallyshowing that. It's about
embracing both your strengthsand your weaknesses, and when
you can embrace those and showthose to others, we as humans
fundamentally think it's gonnabe maybe corrosive or
destructive to how people thinkabout us, but it actually builds
trust. And it deepens theconnections that we have because

(30:44):
people appreciate the real you,which by the way, there's only
one you.
You were magnificently createdand put on this planet to be
you. So, like, don't wear a maskand hide who you are. Like, show
up authentically. And, again,there's a really great quote.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, to beyourself in a world that is

(31:07):
constantly trying to make yousomething else is the greatest
accomplishment.
And what I want people to takefrom that quote is, like, being
yourself should probably feel alittle bit like a battle. Like,
you have to fight to be who youwanna be and who you're supposed
to be. Because trust me, theworld is going to not make that

(31:30):
the easiest journey. And I thinkthat's part of why I love doing
this podcast and building thecommunity and having the
newsletters because we'reliterally trying to be these,
like, little super soldierscoming along the way to enable
you to say and be comfortablewith, yeah, I am me and and me
is enough. Listeners, when's thelast time you allowed yourself

(31:54):
to be truly vulnerable withsomeone?
Maybe never. Maybe a week ago,maybe a month ago, but you need
to think about that becausevulnerability is about opening
up and sharing your truefeelings, fears, and
experiences. If you don't openup and share your true feelings,
fears, and experiences, first ofall, some of those feelings are

(32:15):
gonna fester. That festering canturn to rot, and that rot then
affects the core of who you areand who you're trying to be.
Listen.
Vulnerability is about beinghonest about your struggles and
not being afraid to show yourimperfect side. This honesty,
it's gonna build deeperconnections, making it easier

(32:36):
for others to relate with youand for you to relate with
others, especially on DesmondTutu wisely said, my humanity is
Desmond Tutu wisely said, myhumanity is bound up in yours,
for we can only be humantogether. Listeners, being human

(33:00):
is a team sport. Teams talk toeach other. Teams know the
playbooks.
I I wanna use that dumb thing.There's no iron team. Like, you
have to be doing life together.You have to be doing good human
and humanity together. And thesequalities that we're talking
about, again, hopefully, you'vegot your notepad out, they

(33:23):
enhance empathy, compassion,respect, and dignity.
Does that sound familiar? Like,we may have just mentioned those
earlier. Right? Like, this allties together. By being
authentic and vulnerable, youcreate a space where others feel
safe to be themselves.
Now you feel like you can beyourself. Others feel like they

(33:45):
can be themselves, and we'reactually getting somewhere. And
to be honest with you, in mymind, this ties in perfectly
with treating everyone withrespect and dignity like I
talked about before and helpingselfishly and and living a life
grounded in ethical behavior andspirituality. Like, again, it's
this, like, connect the dotsituation. But when you

(34:07):
incorporate authenticity andvulnerability in your life, you
amplify your ability to connectgenuinely with others and build
a supportive and understandingcommunity.
This leads, why we're all hereby the way, to personal growth
and meaningful impact for youand those around you and guiding

(34:28):
you and those around you towardsliving your best life possible.

You know, as I was sitting here listening to
you talk about authenticity andvulnerability, it reminded me of
something I wrote about for theBeyond Your Default newsletter,
which is that truth is a bindingagent. And if it isn't, that
should tell you something. Thatshould be a signal that
something is off. Yeah.

You

know? And and I'm gonna call out something that I
actually made a note about,George. But you know what? We
try to be raw and authentic onthis podcast, so I'm gonna be
the most raw and authenticpossible. Uh-oh.

Do you

realize how much we talk about love, how
important love is? It's the mostimportant thing, and it's not
even present in our superhumanframework. And I have a question
about whether or not that needsto change. Because when I think
about what you're talking about,it's talking about love. Do you
love someone enough to listen?
Do you love someone enough toshow themselves to you? Do you

(35:23):
love yourself enough to allowyourself to be seen? Do you
create space for the truth toact as a binding agent? Because
when love isn't present, truthisn't a binding agent.
Vulnerability isn't a bindingagent.
Authenticity isn't a bindingagent that brings you together.
It is a weapon. It is a wedge.It is something that causes a

(35:45):
problem. Because even like, youand I haven't always agreed on
things, but we never had amoment where the truth pushed us
apart.

Yeah. They say the truth will set you free.

Well, it's not just about setting you free.
It's about I think about theconversation that I referenced a
a few episodes ago where I hadthe authenticity conversation
reminded me that or the honestyconversation reminded me, like,
I need to go be honest with

someone, and maybe they need

to be honest

with me too. Yeah.

And what was wild about it is that, over the
course of that conversation,plus the 2 to 3 weeks that
followed, wild truths werecoming wild. Like, things we had
not said, things we were tooafraid to share. Everything's
fine.

Yeah.

We're we're closer than ever going on a
brewery trip with them nextweekend. Like There

you go.

It is amazing to me what is possible when you bet
on the love that you have foryourself and the love that you
have for other people.

Yeah. We should probably have a strategic
conversation not on the podcastabout where that fits into the
superhuman framework.

That is why love question mark is on my piece of
paper.

Yeah. That might not be its own section,
but it might be a piece of everysection. But we'll have to talk
about that.

I love that. Somebody called me out though. I
got called out. It's actuallythe next edition of my
newsletter. And normally, I senda weekend edition.
But this question wrecked me somuch. I didn't even get there.

Oh.

They said, you spend a lot of time talking
abstractly about love, but neverdirectly to it. And I was
sitting there thinking about it,and it didn't crystallize for me
until this conversation, whichis it wasn't that I was
necessarily avoiding it, but Ithink sometimes it feels a
little hokey to talk about it.Yeah. But if I looked back
across all of the themes becauseI I went back and reread all my

(37:30):
newsletters. I spent a lot oftime doing Beyond Your Default,
the stuff this this weekend.
And I'm like, because I talkedabout truth. I talked about
risk. I talked about going afterwhat it is you really want.

Yeah.

Knowing when to walk away from things or people.
All of these simplifying thecomplex. Those are all symptoms
of love.

Yeah. Let's do an episode on love, first of
all, and then let's talk abouthow that fits into the
superhuman framework, which I'msuper curious. If you're
listening this and we puttogether, like, a superhuman
framework course that you couldwatch or we could talk you
through, Just email us if you'dbe interested. It's

(38:10):
because we're super curious ifpeople would wanna dive into
this superhuman framework fortheir life past the podcast
episode that we did. Anyway,let's move on.

Yeah. That's what I just find fascinating about
all this is that authenticitybecause one of the things I
thought was really fascinatingabout the discussion we had
during the superhuman frameworkconversation was that we have a
whole separate pillar abouthealth. And yet, you made a

(38:41):
point to call out the fact thatwe will discuss health as a
separate pillar. It is importantto remember the interdependent
relationship between your healthand your humanity. Meaning,
depending on whether yourphysical health is good or your
physical health is bad orsomewhere in the nebulous gray
area in between, it canpositively and negatively impact

(39:02):
your ability to tap in yourhumanity.
Sir, can you elaborate? Yeah. Itit

it's funny because this one, like, I I
wanted to find some kind of,like, funny joking thing of,
like, this is like the somethingsomething type of person
teaching you how to somethingsomething. God has had to use a
2 by 4 on me when it comes to,like, health. So I've had a real
interesting journey of, like,being hyper focused on it and

(39:30):
being not focused on it at all,and I have learned some lessons
along the way. So what'sinteresting is neglecting
physical health impactsemotional and mental well-being.
Without a doubt, I could endright there.
Just period. Like, neglectingyour health, it's gonna affect
your humanity. It's gonna affectyour growth journey. Poor health

(39:53):
is gonna lead to fatigue and lowenergy. Been there, done that.
When you have low energy andfatigue, it makes it difficult
to engage in joyful activities.Heck, almost any activities,
which, by the way, when you'renot interacting in activities
because you are fatigued or havelow energy, this causes then

(40:14):
sadness, which quickly leadsinto potential depression. And
listeners, if you've listened topodcast for any length of time,
you should remember ourhistorical discussion on
maintaining a positive mindset.Well, it's hard to stay positive
when you're constantly drained.It takes some energy to actually
have that optimistic positivemindset.

(40:35):
And Eleanor Roosevelt said, thefuture belongs to those who
believe in the beauty of theirdreams. If you're fatigued, if
you're depressed, if you're notpaying attention to your health,
it's real hard to have thosedreams. Like, in dreams is what
leads us to our goals and ourdaily habits to get to those
goals to try to achieve thosedreams. And so to kind of go

(40:59):
deeper into your question, howdoes your physical health
influence your mental andemotional well-being? First of
all, listeners, I would want youto ask that question of
yourself.
How does your physical healthright now, today, where you're
sitting, standing, walking,jogging, flying, whatever you're
doing right now, how does yourphysical health influence your

(41:21):
mental and emotional well-being?Do you pay attention to it? Is
it a struggle? One thing thatI've learned for sure is regular
physical activity, just in theway that we're built, releases
endorphins. And those endorphinsare the feel good chemicals.
I did what did I say earlierthis morning, Liz? I think I
did, like, 14,000 steps alreadyat, like, 9 o'clock this

(41:43):
morning.

Yeah. Yeah. Big show off.

And I'm not showing off, but, man, I feel
great about it. Right? Like,those endorphins are being
released. I'm walking on thetreadmill. I'm listening to,
like, motivational,inspirational video while I'm
doing it.
I'm, you know, I'm answeringsome emails. Like, I'm just
getting stuff done, and and it'sbecause I'm being healthy. And
I'm I'm releasing those feelgood chemicals in my brain, and

(42:06):
those chemicals help keep yourmood in check. Without exercise,
we miss out on this naturalboost in our daily life. And,
again, it could potentially leadto, and I mentioned earlier,
sadness, anxiety, depression.
When you're focused on healthyliving, it definitely helps with

(42:26):
stress management. Like, listen.I know without a doubt. I don't
even have to ask this question.If I ask you if life is
stressful, 99 out of 99 I don'tknow why I didn't say a 100,
but, 99 out of 99 people aregonna be like, yes.
My life gets stressful. And sostress management is another
crucial aspect. Regularexercise, proper nutrition, and

(42:49):
this one might hurt. It mightsting for some people. Adequate
sleep.
Those three things are essentialfor keeping stress levels in
check, and neglecting any ofthese can make stress
overwhelming affecting ourability to handle daily
challenges. And by the way, I'mnot saying major daily
challenges, but just in general,any daily challenges while we're

(43:10):
on this growth journey tobecoming better humans. In our
episode about smashing the resetbutton, which if you haven't
gone and listened to that, makesure you go and listen to that,
we talked about how we thinkabout time. And we emphasized
the importance of a routine,including healthy habits in your
daily routine and how that cansignificantly reduce stress. So

(43:33):
what does your routine looklike?
What are your healthy habitslook like? Do you have those
healthy habits? Are youreleasing those endorphins? Is
it helping you manage stress andnot be depressed and anxious?
Not to mention, this is anotherone that's been huge for me
lately on this, like, latestjourney of, hey.

(43:54):
Quit being an idiot and startbeing healthy. The change in my
cognitive function, when I hadgained a lot of the weight back
and when I was trying to makedecisions and trying to, like,
think about things, it was justfundamentally more difficult
than now because because poorhealth makes it harder to
remember things, makes it harderto focus, makes it harder to

(44:16):
solve problems. And this cancause issues in your personal
life. It can definitely causeissues in at work, and it
definitely can cause issues atwork when you're supposed to be
the leader of the ship. So,like, if you don't want that to
be toxic and chaotic, thenyou've gotta focus on your
physical health to keep it soyou're showing up as your best.

(44:37):
Like, we even discussed onanother episode the growth
mindset and continuous learningabout staying healthy and how
it's crucial you can see this isanother connect the dots. It all
fits together scenario. But,Liz, I've had to deal with this

(44:58):
one, and I'm pretty sure a lotof humans have had to deal with
this one. And, frankly, if I'mbeing completely authentic,
transparent, vulnerable rightnow, I'm freaking sick of
dealing with this one. And it'snegative body image.
And negative body image leansinto, like, low self esteem of
who you are and how you've beenbuilt and if God really made you

(45:21):
this way or if you've madeyourself this way over time.
Like, negative body image andlow self esteem often result in
us doubling down on neglectingour physical health. Because,
like, I've gotten in the mindsetof, like, why even bother?
Almost a woe is me, which, bythe way, my brain immediately
goes to, like, the victor versusvictim mentality episode that we

(45:43):
did in this conversation. Like,be the victor, focus on being
healthy, focus on getting pastthe negative body image because
this affects how we seeourselves.
And if we're seeing ourselvesthrough that circus mirror, it's
also impacting the way thatwe're interacting with others.
And when you have this negativebody issue going on, and I've

(46:06):
seen this in my personal life,it quickly leads to social
isolation, which can lead tophysical ailments, which leads
us to withdraw. We're not goingout and doing social activities.
We've got these now feelings ofloneliness and isolation. I
don't know if my words arepainting this picture, but I
just see this, like, spiralingfunnel into the depths of, like,

(46:31):
oh god.
This sucks. Because we're notpaying attention to our physical
health. Right? And I'm talkingabout exercise. I'm talking
about diet.
I'm talking about the amount ofsleep we get. Physical health
impacts who we are as humans andhow we feel about ourselves,
which then impacts our capacityfor empathy and compassion that

(46:52):
we talked about, which again, weknow are huge for air quotes if
you're listening to this, beinghuman or at least being a better
human. And so when we'restruggling with our health, we
may become more inward focused.We may reduce our ability to,
you know, have empathy forothers. It will kill connections

(47:13):
with others.
But good physical health enablesus to participate fully in
social and community activities,build deeper connections, and
and have this sense. And, oh mygod, this is so important. Have
this sense of belonging. We weall, as humans, we all want to
belong. And so if you're sittinghere and you're like, yeah.

(47:35):
I understand that spiralingfunnel, been there, done that,
well, shake your hand. Welcometo the club. I've been there
too, but some practice havejackets. Yeah. We have jackets
and logos and all sorts ofstuff.
But practical steps to start tointegrate physical health for
better emotional and mentalwell-being include just, and

(47:56):
start small, but some type ofregular exercise. Like,
literally, go for a 15 minutewalk. Heck. Go for a 5 minute
walk, and maybe do a 5 minutewalk 2 times a day at first. I
don't care.
But do some, like, half push upsat the you know, your foot
board, and, like, you don't haveto go down to the ground and try
to do foot just do a little bitof something. But along with

(48:17):
that little bit of By the way,if By the way, if you want a
real fun crazy journey, just doa journey on gut health and what
that actually does for you. Andthen the other piece, and this

(48:37):
is me being real vulnerable onthis podcast, the amount of
sleep I've been able to get andthe adequate sleep that I have
been able to get ever since Ilistened to my wife and went to
the doctor and got a CPAPmachine is night and day. And
so, again, all of this fitstogether. All of these help us
show up as our better selves andhelp us show up as better

(48:59):
humans.

Yeah. I love that you brought up sleep because if
people are listening to this andgoing, well, I'm not sure that's
really you know what? Thinkabout the last time you didn't
get sleep and how well youshowed up as a human for the
other people in your lives.

Yeah. I know.

No. I just gosh. No. And and that's one of the
things I've had to force myselfto do. You know, over the past
few months, I've reallystruggled with this idea of,
well, I should get up at thistime.
Should you? Do you have to rightnow?

Yeah. I give myself grace on that, by the
way.

It's a challenge for me to to regulate because I
am a recovering people pleaserwho has really struggled due to
familial relationships and otherrelationships to not put myself
in a position where I I tend toit's interesting. We're having
this conversation about, youknow, you need to decenter
yourself. Yeah. But there'sthere's an extreme version of
that where you're not takingcare of your vessel, where it's

(49:47):
it's not decentering yourself inname of the we and love and all
of these beautiful things you'retalking about or we're talking
about. It's more about, like,self sacrifice in a way that is
incredibly self destructive.
And so that is that's an areawhere I I I'm still finding
myself kind of going back andforth, you know, showing up too
much, showing up too like, I'mstill trying to calibrate myself
in that way, and it's gettingbetter, but sleep is always the

(50:09):
best way. Would you like to seeLiz's lack of humanity give me
not enough sleep and see whathappens?

Yeah. I'm not the greatest of humans when

No. Especially when you and I sometimes have,
like, early morning calls. Hi.Hello. Yeah.

How are you? It's more like Ecstatic.
Ecstatic.

Caitlin. Thrilled. But you started
talking about this a bit whenyou started talking about, you
know, how you see yourselfphysically. This is something I
struggle with as well. So let'sstick into this a little bit.
What role specifically does selfacceptance play into your
concept of humanity? And how canindividuals cultivate that
within their own lives?

So it's a 2 part question. So we'll we'll
give it 2 different pieces ofthe answer. It's funny because
it like, just the cliff note ofthis is literally, like, the
whole ass human conversation, bythe way. Because here's the
thing, like, self acceptance,accepting yourself for who you
are, it is a cornerstone of ourhumanity conversation today. It

(51:09):
allows us to embrace who we are,again, including our strengths
and weaknesses, and it builds,this sense of being able to be
authentic and have compassiontowards ourselves and others,
which, by the way, again, if youhave listened to all the podcast
episodes, sweet.
If you have not, then you needto go and listen to the one

(51:31):
about, like, treating yourselfkindly and having compassion
towards yourself along thisjourney. But when we take the
time, when we have the abilityto accept ourselves, we're more
likely to extend that sameunderstanding, that same
acceptance to those around us.And this enhances our ability to

(51:53):
connect, emphasize, and buildmeaningful relationships along
the way. To be a better humanand build personal growth into
what we're doing, there'sreally, Liz, kind of I'll call
them the top three things. Nowthere's more than these three
things, but it's a podcast, andwe have limited amount of time.
So the top three things thatcome to mind are practicing self

(52:16):
compassion, challenging negativeself talk, and embracing
vulnerability. K. So those are 3things that I want you, the
listeners, to kinda start tothink about. You have to treat
yourself with the kindness andunderstanding you would offer a
friend that might come to you.When you make a mistake,
acknowledge it without harshjudgment, and and remind

(52:37):
yourself that imperfection ispart of the human experience.
Perfection is not real. It'sfalse. So, like, get over it.
This practice of being kind toyourself will build a positive
relationship with yourself,which is fundamental for this
personal growth journey thatyou're on. And by being
compassionate to yourself, youcreate this supportive inner

(53:00):
environment that encouragesresilience, which we need, and
continuous improvement, which weshould all be doing.
Now I want you to pay attention,though, along the way as you're
trying to focus on this to yourinner dialogue. This
historically for me, like, I hadto get past this. I literally

(53:22):
had to spend time with I amstatements in a positive way
because it was very easy for meto be like, you're dumb. You're
stupid. You're a high schooldropout.
You're never gonna amount toanything. You're an a hole.
Like, there was just this toxicnegative internal dialogue that
in my younger years would just,anyway, please pay attention to

(53:46):
your inner dialogue and andchallenge these negative
thoughts that so quickly andeasily sometimes can pop up and
replace self criticism withaffirmations and positive
reinforcements about yourself.Like, for example, and this is a
very easy one. Instead ofsaying, I'm not good enough,
like, you might just remindyourself that you're doing your

(54:08):
best, and that's okay.
I've told my kids multipletimes, like, I don't need you to
be perfect. I just want you totry to do your best. So are you
trying to do your best? Well,then sweet. Ease up on yourself.
Changing the way that you talkto yourself is gonna directly
impact your self esteem and yourconfidence. And by the way,
confidence is real important tothis conversation about being a

(54:31):
good human and unlocks yourability to really, take it
externally because you focusedon what we're talking about
internally right now. Positiveself talk is gonna enable you to
approach challenges with agrowth mindset, which again is
critical for personaldevelopment and being a good
human. I have to ask listeners,and this might again sting or be

(54:56):
a little bit painful. But rightnow, how often do you catch
yourself in negative self talk?
And when you do, how can youchange that? And again, it
sounds like maybe it's not thatbig a deal, but it is that big a
deal.

And a 100% is we did a whole episode on it. We
did a whole episode on thelanguage you used to talk about
yourself and how it shapes yourdestiny.

And if you haven't listened to it, go
listen to it. Here here's thedeal. The real deal, Holyfield,
is that you have to be openabout your feelings and
experiences. And the best partof this is, like, be open with
your feelings and experienceswith trusted friends or family.
Have a space and a place toshare your vulnerabilities
because sharing your feelingsand experiences and sharing your

(55:38):
vulnerabilities can help yourealize that and this is so
important, and I think it tiesinto that we all wanna belong.
But it it can lean into, like,helping you realize that you're
not alone in your struggles.And, again, because you enable
this, it builds that betterconnection with others.
Embracing vulnerability allowsfor genuine connection. It

(55:59):
builds a sense of community. Ithelps you develop emotional
resilience by facing and sharingyour true self, your whole ass
human, which essentially you'reshowing up as you.
You're showing up as a betterhuman. You're becoming a better
human along the way. And byembracing these 3 best well,

(56:20):
called top best practices, we'reliterally laying a solid
foundation for our journeytowards self acceptance and our
humanity. It's through selfcompassion, positive self talk,
and vulnerability that we cancreate this environment within
ourselves that is not toxic, notcorrosive, but positive and

(56:43):
loving. And because of that, itradiates outward towards those
around us.
And each step we take in thisdirection, Liz and listeners,
And it builds this idea goingback to keywords that we're
talking about, and it buildsthis idea going back to keywords

(57:03):
that we're talking about today,this empathetic understanding of
the world that we're in. I needyou to remember this. Being
human is about progress, notperfection. Continuing to strive
for that 1% improvement each andevery day, knowing that our

(57:24):
efforts are contributing to amore compassionate and connected
human, us, along the way, like,during this journey, Just wake
up and take the next step and bekind to yourself.

I wrote about this in the last issue of the
newsletter, which actually, I'llI'll be honest with you, George,
was inspired by you.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Thanks.

Because you had mentioned, you know, so the past
couple of issues of thenewsletter,
we've been talking about theacceptance of opposites and
polarities and contradictions,both outside of ourselves and
within ourselves. And one of thethings I talked about in the
most recent issue is that if youforever remain at war with
yourself, you will foreverforever remain at war with the

world.

It doesn't matter whether you're talking about
love or honesty or selfacceptance. If you can't first
give that gift to yourself, itbecomes impossible to do it for
anybody else. But one of myfavorite examples is because you
talked about this. Right? Youtalked about the fact that,
like, we have thesecontradictions within us and we
believe that because thesecontradictions exist, they

(58:30):
can't.
Like, we for some reason, wethink that we're not able to be
these complex individuals whereI like this and I also like
that, or I've made a mistake andnow I've learned the lesson. You
know, all of these littledifferent like, we have this
very binary view of ourselves ofwhat it means to be a quote,
unquote good human. But one ofmy favorite examples I'll give

(58:50):
you 2. Right? The first is agalaxy.
Galaxies are made up of regularmatter, which is the stuff that
we see, and dark matter, whichis the stuff we can't see. It's
spooky. It's scary. We only knowit's there because of its
gravitational pull. Galaxiesdon't exist without dark matter.
Dark matter is what holds allthe beautiful visible star stuff

(59:10):
together. The light is onlybeautiful and architected like
cosmic sculptures because of thedarkness. But then if we wanna
look to Greek mythology, there'sAthena. Athena is the goddess of
wisdom and war. Yeah.
She's both. She is not a passivephilosopher sitting on the
sidelines preaching peace withknowing nothing of what it means

(59:34):
to take up arms in a causegreater than yourself, nor is
she a bloodthirsty mercenary whois just there for war, there for
the killing? There she is both.And more than that, she is a
brilliant bastion of peace andshe's not a bloodthirsty
mercenary. She is a brilliantmilitary mind responsible for

(59:55):
some of the great victories inthe Trojan War.
And the only reason she is ableto embody that wise bastion of
peace or that brilliant militarymind is because she is both
equally. The more we become athome within ourselves of I'm a
human being. I have shadow, Ihave light. I have edges, I have
soft squishy parts. It becomesso much easier to accept it

(01:00:20):
outside in the world.
Because why do we reject thosethings outside in the world?
Because it reminds us of what wehave not accepted within
ourselves. And that's where weget into some really interesting
stuff.

George B. Thomas (01:00:31):
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (01:00:31):
Another key component of this humanity
discussion that you brought upis emotional intelligence.
Again, another softballquestion. What is that? You
know, I hear it a lot thrownaround, especially, you know,
SaaS startup environments, whichis something you and I spend a
lot of time in. Yeah.
A lot of people like to talkabout EQ, but it's kinda like
the Princess Bride. I do notthink that word means what you

(01:00:52):
think it means. So let's levelthe playing field here. What is
it, and how do you practice it?

Yeah. Stop that rhyme. I mean it. Anybody
want a peanut? Anyway, I lovethat movie, by the way.
Just gonna throw that out there.But here's the thing. Like,
again, I don't think you knewthat several of these questions
felt like you were putting onboxing gloves, and there was
literally gonna be, like, whatis that the, you know, bell of
the you know, boxing ring. Buthere's the funny thing about

(01:01:21):
emotional intelligence. I thinkbecause of my skewed self
perception of my IQ, you'redumb, you're stupid, you're high
school dropout, that I actuallydoubled down on EQ and emotional
intelligence in my life.
So it was interesting to kindasee this question and get a

(01:01:42):
chance to answer this questionbecause, again, emotional
intelligence, it is a keycomponent to our view on this
topic of humanity. And, Liz, I Ilove though, even though it was
a struggle that you asked thequestion, what the heck is
emotional intelligence anyway?Right? In my mind, it's the
ability to understand and manageyour own emotions as well as

(01:02:08):
recognize and potentiallyinfluence the emotions of
others. It's having this abilityto be aware of your feelings,
controlling them when necessary,using that awareness to guide
your interactions with others ina positive and effective way.
To start, and, again, there'skind of components here. Right?

(01:02:30):
When I think about emotionalintelligence, there's, like,
these layers of it. So you haveto, like, have this level of
self awareness, which, you know,you have to recognize and
understand yourself, youremotions. You have to understand
your strengths and weaknesses.
You have to understand how youremotion impacts your strengths

(01:02:52):
and weaknesses and how yourstrengths and weaknesses and
emotions actually affect orimpact your thoughts and
behavior? Like, there's a lot tounpack right there, but, like,
this idea of self awareness isthis key concept, emotional
intelligence. Once you knowyourself and what I kind of was

(01:03:12):
alluding to to the beginning ofthis answer is there's this
level Right? It's about managingthose emotions. Once you're
aware of Right?
It's about managing thoseemotions once you're aware of
them. It's keeping the abilityto stay in control. It's about
being able to be adaptable. It'sreacting appropriately to

(01:03:38):
different situations. And Ithink the interesting piece of
this with self awareness andself regulation is that it
layers or leans into this layerof motivation.
And motivation and emotionalintelligence is about having the
drive to improve and achieveyour goals along the way. It's

(01:04:02):
being motivated by personalgrowth and curiosity rather than
the potential external rewards.If you have this self awareness,
if you're able to self regulate,if you have the motivation, the
gas to go down the road of thisjourney, then we have to add on

(01:04:23):
the layer that we've alreadytalked about. But, again, this
is in conjunction to emotionalintelligence, And it's the
external piece of the emotionalintelligence where I literally
said or influenced the emotionsof others. To do that, self
awareness, self regulation,motivation, and then add on the

(01:04:46):
layer of empathy.
One of my favorite words, by theway, being empathetic. Some
people are actually empaths, butit's it's understanding and
sharing those feelings of other.It's, again, about seeing things
from their perspective andresponding with compassion.
Listeners, I love you. But howdo you practice and develop

(01:05:07):
emotional intelligence in yourlife right now?
We have to start with selfawareness. Right? How do you do
that? By tuning into youremotions, even though those
emotions might be freakingscary. Pay attention to what
triggers different feelings andhow you react.
You might keep a journal or useyour notes app on your phone to

(01:05:27):
reflect on your emotions andyour responses. For self
regulation, you might usetechniques like deep breathing,
meditation, mindfulness to actlike actually stay calm. And
when faced with a challengingsituation, take a moment to
pause, that's why they say countto 10, ladies and gentlemen, and
think before actually reacting.If you wanna cultivate this

(01:05:49):
motivational layer of what we'retalking about, actually set
personal goals that aremeaningful to you. I hope you're
not living your life based onyour parents' goals, your wife's
goals, your brother's goals,maybe by your mentor's goals.
Like, I hope the motivation thatyou're cultivating is based on
personal goals that aremeaningful to you because that's

(01:06:10):
what's gonna matter. Focus onwhat drives you internally, and
then celebrate the freakingsmall victories along the way to
keep you inspired for whereyou're actually trying to get
to. And the last layer that wetalked about to kinda cultivate
this, build this in yourself,You we all have to focus and I

(01:06:30):
can get better at this. I thinktill the day I die, I I'll be
able to get better at this. Wehave to enhance empathy.
We have to practice activelistening. We have to be able to
figure out how to put ourselvesin other shoes. We have to
embrace this mindset ofcompassion. We have to learn how

(01:06:52):
to be great communicators. Weneed to lean in to being clear
and respectful.
We need to understand that it'sabout managing the conflicts
because it's not if, it's whenthey'll show up. Again, we need
to layer on this layer ofconfidence and calmness. We have
to be looking for the solution.Integrating emotional

(01:07:14):
intelligence into your dailylife and maybe it's daily check
ins where you reflect on youremotions. What triggered them?
How did you respond? We've hadwhole episodes on, like,
meditation and mindfulness andjourneys and mornings, and,
like, you've gotta embrace thispiece. But, also, here's the
thing. Let's go back to thosetrusted friends and family

(01:07:36):
members. Like, there's gotta besome input into your life around
this conversation of anemotional intelligence.
Ask them how you're doing. Askthem how it felt. And the last
thing I'll say is, again,emotional intelligence and self
awareness and self regulationand all of this, like, it's

(01:07:56):
gonna take time. So you have tohave this mindset of continuous
learning, like read books, takecourses, listen to this podcast
weekly, attend workshops. I Idon't care.
Whatever you gotta do, but,like, Google emotional
intelligence or any of the wordsthat we've used in this section
and figure out how do I, as thelistener, how do I, as George b

(01:08:17):
Thomas, how do I deepen myunderstanding? How do I develop
my skills around this veryimportant piece that is
emotional intelligence? Becauseby practicing and developing
emotional intelligence, you canenhance your ability to connect
with the humans around you,navigate life's challenges more

(01:08:39):
effectively, and again, buildmore compassionate and
fulfilling life that you'reactually going to enjoy
journeying through.

You know, George, I'm just gonna be honest with
you. At that moment when yousaid, listeners, I love you, and
I felt so warm and happy.

Oh, jeez.

And then you came in with that 2 by 4 truth, my
guy.

Sorry.

Yeah. The next time you say I love you on this
podcast, brace for impact.

Be warm. Be warm.

Emotional damage. Warning. Warning. His love is
coming with a lesson. Let's wrapthis up.
Connecting to our own humanexperience, our own humanity, as
you've discussed in great detailtoday, it is one of the most
important things we can do, butadmittedly we're human beings.
It's not always the easiestthing to do. Right? Sometimes
traumatic experiences get in theway. Other times, the the level

(01:09:28):
of self honesty required to doit can create uncomfortable
moments of awareness, just likeyou said, around our actions.
Also, sometimes we're just dingdong idiots because we're humans
and we mess up

Yeah.

And we make mistakes. So how do you want to
encourage our listeners today asthey leave this conversation to
think about their own humanitywithin their own beyond your
default journey, even if this isan area in which they're

First of all, you're right, Liz. Connecting to
our own human experience, ourown humanity, it is not always
easy. And, again, you're right.Sometimes traumatic experiences
get in the way. Other times, thelevel of self honesty required
for us to do it can create theseuncomfortable moments of
awareness around the actionsthat we're taking and how we're

(01:10:16):
not maybe being the best ofhumans.
But with all of what you said,at the end of the day, it's
important and worth every minutespent focusing on our humanity
and being great humans. It isgoing to be the linchpin for
probably every other topic thatwe've covered or had here. So

(01:10:36):
first and maybe foremost, wehave to acknowledge a fact. It's
okay to struggle with this. It'sokay.
We all have our moments ofdoubt. We all have our moments
of fear. And, yes, Liz, I lovethat you used the word, we even
have those ding dong momentsthat you mentioned. The key is

(01:10:57):
not to be perfect, but to bepersistent in our efforts to
connect with our humanity. I'mgonna say it again for the 2nd
time.
Progress is the ultimate goal.1% better each and every day is
what we should be trying toachieve. Reflect on your
experiences regularly. Take afew minutes each day to check-in

(01:11:18):
with yourself. Listeners, howoften do you take time to
reflect on your experiences andfeelings?
Or do you just live day in, dayout, fall asleep, wake up, go to
work, eat, fall asleep? Howoften do you take time to
reflect on your experiences andfeelings? Or, like, or are you
just going through life numb?Like, ask yourself, how are you

(01:11:41):
feeling? What triggered thosefeelings?
How how look at how you payattention to, without judgment.
The other thing that we have todo, because we have to without
judgment. The other thing thatwe have to do, because, again,
if it's 1% better each and everyday is we've gotta set realistic

(01:12:03):
expectations for ourselves.Understand that perfection is
unattainable. It is false, andit's okay to have limitations.
We are human. We havelimitations. Accepting this can
reduce the pressure because manyof us put ourselves in a
pressure cooker scenario. So wecan get rid of the pressure that

(01:12:23):
we put on ourself and allow usto appreciate our efforts and
appreciate our progress. Theother thing that so many of us
try to do, and I fall prey tothis one, is we try to do it all
alone.
Seek support if needed.Sometimes connecting with our
humanity requires a little helpfrom our friends. That song I

(01:12:46):
Get By With A Little Help FromMy Friends comes to mind, And I
love sometimes just to turn thaton and listen to it and then be
like, okay. Who's the friendthat I need to tag in? And
again, whether it's a trustedfriend, a family member, or a
professional counselor, don'thesitate to ask for support and
guidance.
Remember, connecting to yourhumanity is a journey. It's not

(01:13:08):
a destination. It's aboutcontinuous growth. It's about
learning, And it's mostdefinitely about self discovery
along the way. By being kind toyourself, embracing
vulnerability, and stayingmindful of your emotions, you
can build this life, theseconnections, this human

(01:13:29):
experience that we're having asspiritual beings, so that even
if you're struggling, you knowthat you're not alone.
You see ladies and gentlemen,the punchline is that we're all
on this journey together,learning and growing as we go.
So I'll ask you to embrace yourhumanity with all of its

(01:13:49):
messiness and beauty, and keepmoving forward on your journey
to a life beyond your default.

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