Damon and Kelly wrap up the self preservation section of the subtype series with Types 7, 8, and 9. They break down core motives, how self preservation shows up day to day (gear, routines, safety, control), healthy vs unhealthy patterns, and simple practices to grow without losing your type’s strengths. 

SP-7

• Healthy signs: content with what they have, enthusiastic and inspiring, practical about safety, steady rhythms th...

This classic Beyond Your Number replay walks through all nine Enneagram types. For each number, we name what we’re grateful for, then give one practical gratitude assignment to help you move from stuck to healthier patterns.
 Highlights:
 • 1: Thank three specific people to quiet the inner critic
 • 2: List three things you’re grateful for about yourself, say them aloud
 • 3: Do one enjoyable thing for its own sake,...

Today we continue our Enneagram subtype series and unpack the Self-Preservation instinct for Types 4, 5, and 6. Kelly explains how SP Fours pursue uniqueness through carefully curated “special” things, why SP Fives conserve time, energy, and resources, and how SP Sixes seek safety through alliances and preparation, including the phobic vs counterphobic expressions. Damon pushes for plain-language summaries, mistype clues, and real-...

Kelly and Damon wade into the deep end of subtypes starting with the self-preservation (SP) instinct for Types 1, 2, and 3. You’ll learn how SP shapes motivation (not just behavior):

• SP One: striving for goodness, future-proofing with order and control, and why it can look like a Six.
• SP Two: playful, guarded, seeking love and protection and how that can mistype as a Seven.
• SP Three: “be the best, look modest,” working tirelessly ...

Kelly and Damon kick off a brand-new series on Enneagram subtypes, the instinctual variants that turn 9 core types into 27 flavors. This is the deep end: self-preservation (sp), social (so), and one-to-one/sexual (sx), plus the “three-layer cake” of dominant, secondary, and repressed instincts.

In this episode:

• What sp/so/sx really mean, and how they shape each number’s style
• The “cake” model: why your dominant instinct runs on au...

Kelly and Damon unpack how a Type 9 processes “Be assertive” and why it can feel like a threat to calm rather than an invitation to contribute. Together they map common misreads, offer gentler phrases that work, and give Nines a simple reframe to keep their voice in the room.

What’s inside:

• How “be assertive” can land as “start conflict” (and what to say instead)
• Gentle prompts that invite a Nine’s perspective without pressure
• A se...

When you tell an Eight “calm down,” they often hear “you’re too much,” “you’re out of control,” or “I’m censoring you.” 

In this episode Kelly and Damon unpack why protectors (8s) lead with intensity, why that phrase lands as a threat to autonomy, and how to keep connection without dousing their fire. 

Try better scripts like: “I can tell this matters, can you help me understand what’s driving it?”, “Can we slow the pace so I can tra...

This week we unpack Enneagram Sevens, the joy-bringers who can feel shut down when they hear, “Can you just be serious?” Kelly explains how that lands as “You’re too much,” “Your joy isn’t welcome,” or “We can’t take you seriously,”.

We’ll give you better language that invites focus without killing the vibe:

• “I love your energy, can we shift gears for a minute? There’s something important I want to share.”
• “This might feel heavy, ...

Damon & Kelly break down how well-meant reassurances land for Enneagram Sixes (The Loyalists). When you say “Don’t worry” or “It’s fine,” a 6 often hears “You’re on your own.” We cover why that triggers alarm (not trust), what it communicates beneath the surface, and the exact, better phrases that build safety, collaboration, and momentum. 

What not to say to a 6:

• “Don’t worry about it.” / “It’s fine.” / “No big deal.”
• “You’re...

Type Fives value space, clarity, and time to think, so “We need to talk” can sound like “prepare to be emotionally mugged.” In this Lost in Translation episode, Damon and Kelly break down what Fives often hear versus what we mean, and offer practical language that preserves autonomy, protects energy, and gets you the thoughtful input you want.

You’ll hear:

• Why drop-ins and vague invites drain a Five’s “battery”
• The core misreads: ...

In this episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly unpack how silence, quick responses, or even well-intentioned pauses can land painfully with a Type 4. For Fours, depth, authenticity, and connection are everything and when we don’t respond, they can misinterpret it as rejection, abandonment, or being “too much.”

We’ll explore why this happens, share personal stories, and offer practical ways to communicate so Fours feel seen, ...

Threes often hear praise like “you’ve got it all together” as “you’re a fraud.” In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how seemingly harmless comments can trigger imposter syndrome for Enneagram 3s, and what to say instead. Learn phrases that affirm a Three’s worth beyond performance, how to set/receive boundaries with care, and simple ways to show appreciation that actually lands. Plus, a few real-life stories (porch mums include...

We’re back from break and digging into Type 2 (The Helper) in our Lost in Translation series. What you mean as a simple boundary,“Thanks, I’m good”,can land as rejection to a Two. Damon and Kelly unpack common misinterpretations, offer exact phrases that keep connection and clarity, and share a few “gut triad” confessions about learning to ask for help.

What gets “Lost in Translation” for Type 2

When you say “I don’t need your h...

We’re dipping back into the archive with a foundation episode on the Triads—Gut (8-9-1), Heart (2-3-4), and Head (5-6-7). Damon and Kelly break down what each triad prioritizes, the core emotion it wrestles with (anger, shame, fear), and how that shapes decision-making, relationships, and self-care.

You’ll hear practical prompts (like “What was I angry about today?” for Gut types), why Heart types often read your feelings before the...

Today we’re revisiting a deep-dive conversation from our Enneagram U days, all about the Harmony Triads.

Damon and Kelly unpack this advanced Enneagram teaching, showing how each triad (3-6-9, 2-5-8, and 1-4-7) holds a unique way of experiencing the world through head, heart, and gut. You’ll hear the humor, real-life tangents, and even Damon’s skepticism as Kelly explains why the triads matter, what each number has “lost,” and how t...

While we take a short break from our Lost in Translation series, we’re re-releasing one of our most loved episodes: Motivations.

In this conversation, Damon and Kelly lay the foundation for understanding the Enneagram by exploring what truly motivates each type. It’s not just what you do that defines your number...it’s why you do it. From the One’s drive to do what’s right, to the Nine’s longing for peace, this episode helps you see...

We’re kicking off our new Lost in Translation series, all about how what you say isn’t always what the other person hears. 

This week, we focus on Enneagram Type 1: what they hear, why it happens, and how to speak in a way that builds connection instead of frustration. Learn the hooks that trigger them, better ways to phrase your thoughts, and how curiosity can soften their inner critic.

You’ll learn:

• The common “hooks” that trigg...

Ever tried to resolve a conflict only to end up in a verbal boxing match? This week, Damon and Kelly wrap up their 4-part conflict series by exploring the critical roles of speaker and listener, and why most of us play both badly.

You’ll learn how to:

• Take turns (like, really take turns)
• Use “I” statements without sounding cheesy
• Avoid emotional ambushes and “speaker-in-waiting” mode
• Create safety and clarity when emotions are runni...

This episode is the third in our conflict mini-series, if you missed the last two, definitely go back and catch them! Two weeks ago, we walked through six steps for healthy conflict. Last week, we hit the self-sabotage pitfalls that derail it. And this week? We're laying out a step-by-step path for self-regulation, the actual work you can do before the conversation even begins.

Whether it's naming that you're triggere...