Evangelism by Legislation: Finally a law that ensures kids will ignore both Math and Moses at the same time

After weeks of guest overload, this episode of the Bible Belt Bros Podcast finally brings Dusty and Andrew back together, unfiltered and unaccompanied—basically a bro version of couples therapy, if therapy involved mall stories, public education law, and sarcastic jabs about the King James Bible.

The conversation opens like most deep theological discussions do—at the mall.

Turns out both guys used to work there. Andrew was Dusty’s boss. (Let that sink in. Andrew, the man currently co-hosting a podcast in what we assume is a spare bedroom, once supervised someone else’s paycheck.) They recall working at a watch store, greeting mall walkers at ungodly hours, and the time Dusty got his gas siphoned right out of his truck. Because nothing says “servant leadership” like buying your own gas back.

Also, Scheels. Apparently it’s the only reason anyone goes to the mall anymore—unless your kids want to ride a carousel. Which brings us to the first theological point: kids ruin everything. Even your hatred for malls.

Promises, Politics, and Prayer Time

So Texas introduced something called “Promise Month,” and if you're thinking it has anything to do with abstinence, purity rings, or teenage awkwardness, you're not alone. That was the assumption too.

But no, “Promise Month” is a Christian-themed state proposal meant to highlight America’s biblical roots—with an extra helping of “mandated prayer and Bible time in schools.” Because if there’s anything kids love more than algebra, it’s Old Testament genealogy during fourth period.

It was proposed in April. Announced in May. Which is like throwing a surprise birthday party a month late and expecting people to still bring presents.

Oklahoma’s Mandatory Bible & the King James Confusion

Meanwhile in Oklahoma, the state superintendent rolled out a plan requiring every student from grades 5 through 12 to be equipped with a King James Bible. That’s right—the version where even the verbs are confused.

It’s not so much the Bible requirement that raised eyebrows, but the very specific demand for that translation. As Dusty put it, “We don’t need all those 'thee’s' and 'thou’s' confusing a bunch of fifth graders.” Honestly, trying to decipher King James in middle school is like making a toddler learn to type on a typewriter.

What followed was a comedic deep-dive into all the Bible versions that could (or absolutely should not) be used in classrooms, including the Message Bible, children’s Bibles, and the somewhat mythical "Gangsta Bible"—which we’re 85% sure started as a meme and ended up in a dorm room somewhere.

Religious Freedom, First Amendments, and Forced Morality

The guys don’t shy away from the meat of the issue: Should religious content be forced in public schools?

Andrew, ever the realist, points out that forcing biblical teaching through legislation rarely works. It's like trying to make someone fall in love with your grandma’s casserole recipe—it doesn't matter how many times you make it, they’re still gonna complain about the mushrooms.

Dusty argues that teaching the Bible as historical text (rather than spiritual doctrine) makes sense, the same way we discuss Gandhi, Buddha, or even Elvis (we assume) in world history. It’s context. Not conversion.

That’s the line the hosts keep coming back to—Christianity, at its best, invites rather than mandates.

Alabama: Ten Commandments and Ten More Arguments

Just when you think things couldn’t get more theologically spicy, Alabama comes through with Ten Commandments in classrooms and a full-on Pride flag ban. Because if there’s one thing that really gets kids interested in moral values, it’s wall décor.

Dusty and Andrew play devil’s advocate here (ironically). If you’re going to allow Christian symbols in public spaces, shouldn’t other religions get equal footing? Do we need a wall of competing sacred texts in every classroom like some kind of spiritual debate team?

The most repeated line in this episode might be: “We force feed everything.” Politics. Religion. Sports opinions. Even marketing emails (Dusty would know—he works in marketing).

The takeaway? Everyone wants their beliefs visible. Until someone else’s beliefs show up. Then suddenly we all remember we have First Amendment rights we haven't read since high school.

Pivoting ever so gracefully, the podcast veers into the topic of Oklahoma’s potential ban on cell phones in schools. This sparked what may be the most unintentionally hilarious section of the episode.

Apparently, Dusty's son starts his Tesla with his phone. Which feels like a very specific attack on Elon Musk. And now the state wants to take away that phone, essentially asking kids to walk home in 115-degree heat because Dad's truck won't start without an iOS update.

The argument here isn’t really about Teslas, though. It’s about access. If every kid already has a Bible