Sobriety, Purity, and the Power of Obedience | Guest: Alicia Cairns

Is sobriety and waiting for marriage really worth it? In this episode, I sit down with one of my best friends (and the creative genius behind the Bible Bish logo + website), Alicia Taylor.

Alicia gets real about what it looked like to obey God when He asked her to give up alcohol, choose purity in her relationship, and even surrender her wedding plans-fully trusting Him with the relationship itself, even if it meant it wouldn’t last. Her yes to Him wasn’t easy, but the fruit has been undeniable.

We talk about the scary moments, the breakthroughs, and why obedience isn’t just rules... it’s the doorway to joy, freedom, and a rich life with Jesus.

If you’ve ever wrestled with obedience or wondered what you might be holding onto, this conversation is for you.

Thanks for tuning in to Bible Bish!

Come for the tea, stay for the truth -you just might leave changed. 🕊️

Follow and connect:
Instagram: @biblebish
Facebook: @biblebish
YouTube: @biblebish
TikTok: @bible.bish
Music & more: @kayleybish
Website: www.biblebish.com

💌 Got a testimony or question? Email me at [e-mail]

In the name of love, this is your Bible Bish reporting for duty. ♡

Episode Transcript

Alicia (00:00):
when you hear the word obedience, it sounds scary.

(00:02):
Why would I wanna obey someone?
I just wanna do what I want.
Like we're living in aworld where everyone's let's
just do what we want allthe time, I've done that.
I've done it my own way.
I've done whatever Iwant for so many years.
this year in particular isthe year that I've walked
the most in obedience.
And it has been thebest year of my life.
Ah,

Kayley (00:21):
Hello, hello.
Welcome to Bible Bish.
I am so happy today becauseI'm gonna be interviewing one
of my best friends and she is,uh, not a long time friend.
She's more of likea short time friend.
We haven't been very, veryclose for very long, but it's
one of those things where HolySpirit just is that beautiful

(00:41):
tether, and when you findsomeone that just knows him that
intimately and you connect onthat level, it it just, it's
like a kingdom friendship.
And there's justsomething different about
a kingdom friendship.
And not only is she myfriend, but she's actually
my graphic designer.
She's the one who designedthis glorious Bible Bish logo.
She helped design, uh, somemerch and she designed my

(01:03):
entire website and it'sbeen amazing to do life with
her in this season and tocreate this podcast with her.
Uh, but we're gonna talkabout obedience today, but
before we do, this is mydear friend Alicia Cairns
slash Taylor, becauseshe did just get married.
It's not legally changedto Taylor yet, but
we're working on it.

Alicia (01:22):
And I had to wear the logo today.

Kayley (01:25):
You had to wear the logo.
Yeah, it's fitting,

Alicia (01:27):
It's my gift.

Kayley (01:28):
she is, she's a, a lover of all pink things.
And so I gave her thissweatshirt today just to
say thank you and also, youknow, in case she wanted
to wear it on the podcast.
Anyway, let's talkabout obedience.
Um, originally when I wasthinking about having Alicia
on the podcast, I reallywanted to talk about friendship
and kingdom friendship.
Um, but she's like,Kayley, you know what?
The Lord just keeps puttingobedience on my heart and

(01:50):
I really think I need totell my story about that.
And I said, let's go.
before we do, will you just,I know it's not necessarily
a short story, but willyou tell people like, yeah,
how you came to the Lord?
'cause it's really interesting.

Alicia (02:04):
Yeah, it's like, it's interesting because it's not
like I had an aha moment.
Like a lot of people, theyhave this like moment where
they're like, this is whenI gave my life to the Lord.
And it wasn't like that.
It was like I kindof grew up Catholic.
And my whole childhood, Ilike knew who Jesus was.

(02:24):
I knew the story, but Ididn't know what having a
relationship with him was.
I just knew religion.

Kayley (02:31):
Mm-hmm.

Alicia (02:31):
And you know, I kind of knew that all through
like elementary school,high school, you know, I
went to mass, I confessed mysins in a box to a guy, and
which was so uncomfortable.
And I was just like, I don't,I don't understand this.
And so I think like laterin my twenties I was still
kind of pursuing something.
I just didn't know what.

(02:52):
Mm. And I kind of went downlike a bit of a darker path.
Like I just decided tokind of do my own thing.
Mm-hmm.
For a little bit.
And then I ended up kindof getting into more like
new age witchcraft, which Iwould classify as witchcraft.
Now, at the time I didn't knowI was doing that, but it kind
of started slowly in stages.

(03:13):
And then over time I juststarted doing more to the
point where I was like.
Had to rely on tarot cards,horoscopes every single day.
I was like trying tofind whatever I was
looking for in that.
Mm. Trying to getanswers from something.
But what I noticed, like overtime, like no matter how many
things I would use, whetherit was the cards, you know,

(03:36):
sage, crystals, whateverobject I could use, um, I even
started a page at one pointwhere I was like pouring into
people about spirituality.

Kayley (03:46):
Wait, where?
On a website?

Alicia (03:48):
On Facebook.

Kayley (03:49):
On facebook.
You, what was the page called?

Alicia (03:52):
Something about loving yourself.

Kayley (03:54):
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
I didn't even know this.
Yeah.
Okay, interesting.

Alicia (03:57):
So I started that.
But like, and I feel likefor a moment it gave me like
bits of happiness becauseI was pursuing something.
So it was like a new thing.

Kayley (04:06):
You felt purposeful.

Alicia (04:07):
Yeah.
I felt like I, there waspurpose there and I was pursuing
something, but it wasn't untillike over time, like I probably
was doing this for like, Iwould say three, four years.
Wow.
And over time I noticed Iwas getting more anxiety, I
was getting more depression.
I started lusting.
I was in relationshipsmy whole life.

(04:28):
I started lusting.
I started at one point,even got into porn.
Just like all thesethings, all these negative
things started to come.
Wow.
And I didn't recognize itat the time, but I was like,
what am I doing with my life?
Like, I'm just like,what, what am I doing?
And then I think slowlyover time, like I kind
of got sprinkled withGod here and there.

Kayley (04:51):
Mm-hmm.

Alicia (04:51):
Um, like I had a friend from childhood who came to the
Lord and she kind of broughtme to church a couple times.
Um, so it was really spread out.
Okay.
I even had a boyfriend in highschool that his brother was a
pastor and his other brotherwould just like read the Bible.
And I was always justlike, that's interesting.
But I only knew it as Catholic.
Mm. I only knew it as likegoing and listening to this

(05:11):
guy say the same thing at everyservice with no relationship.
So I think I justkept disregarding it.
And it wasn't until I startedmy relationship that I'm in
now with my husband that westarted to see God work in our
lives, um, little by little.
And he has like a lotof profound encounters.

(05:32):
So a lot of it's likeintertwined and, and I won't
get into all the details ofthat because I would be here
all day, but, but I think whenthose moments started to happen
and when they were happening,while we were together, I was
like, something's going on here.
Yeah.
And I think I just realizedlike, there's something to this.

(05:52):
Mm. And I just slowly, like,honestly, I hated reading.
I was like, I don't, Idon't wanna read the Bible.
Like, that sounds so boring.
I don't like reading any books.

Kayley (06:02):
We actually talked about this.
Yeah.
You're like, you don'tlike reading at all.
And I love to read, butyou love to read the Bible

Alicia (06:07):
now.
But I started, I was alwaysa movie person, so someone
told me to get the Bible app.
So I started with thatand I started doing plans.
And I would kind oflike grasp some stuff.
Like I would just like do aplan here and there and then I'd
try a Bible in the year and Ifelt like I was just listening
and wasn't really taking it in.

Kayley (06:24):
Interesting.

Alicia (06:24):
And then eventually I just like reached a point,
I think after just havingso many encounters and
him just being so obvious.
Mm. I was like, maybe I needto like really dive in and just
like see where this takes me.

Kayley (06:37):
But what did diving in look like and when did
you get rid of tarot cards?

Alicia (06:41):
Yeah.
'cause I, I think I was stillpursuing, like, I think I
was curious about God, butstill dabbling in new age.
So I think once I startedreading the Bible, God started
to reveal the truth to me.
Okay.
And I just got, Iguess, convicted.
I probably didn't know itwas conviction at the time,
but I just got convictedto stop like, I don't need
these anymore, you know?

Kayley (07:03):
Wow.

Alicia (07:04):
Now thinking back, I'm like, I don't, I just
kind of stopped at one point.
And even like my husbandwas like, you should get
those outta the house.
There're.
They're evil.
So like he already knew, right?
Yeah.
He didn't even know why,but he knew they were evil.
Um, yeah.
And then I just, I don'tknow, I just started
reading the Bible every day.

(07:25):
And then I think what happenedis I started to encounter God.
Mm. Like it literally camealive and I just started to
like experience how good he is.
Mm. And then once youexperience that, then you
just wanna keep reading more.
Mm. And praying more.
And then it just almostbecame an obsession.
Like I just wanted to readmy Bible every single day.

(07:45):
And then it got to apoint in 2023 where I
decided to get baptized.
And then after that Idid a fast, like a four.
I didn't, I still ate, but I dida 40 day fast with my church.
And after that I was, Igot kind of convicted to
start a Bible page, whichI call Woman with a Bible.
and I just go on Instagramand I kind of share scripture.

(08:09):
And one day when I was doingone of those videos I was
reading in Matthew and he kindof showed me that I kind of
walked the same path as Jesus.
'cause Jesus got baptized andthen he did a 40 day fast, and
then he was led into temptation.
And that's like the exactorder that I experienced it.
And in that moment I was like,oh, whoa, I'm living the same.

Kayley (08:32):
So what was the temptation?

Alicia (08:34):
I don't know if it was temptation or
just like the enemy wasjust trying to attack me.
Wow.
Anyway, he could, like, Ijust felt like there was a
lot of hardship after a lotof testing after my fast
and after I got baptized.

Kayley (08:46):
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
everyone's testimonyis really different.
Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't saythat my testimony has
like a cataclysmic.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
This is when it all started.
And there are some peoplewhere they have like a
near death experienceand then they see Yeah.
Jesus or something andthey come back to life and

(09:06):
they're like, oh my gosh,I have to live for him now.
And yeah, for me it was kind ofsimilar to yours, like I grew
up in a religious experiencewithout like knowing of God,
not knowing him personally.
And it wasn't until like mycrazy divorce and my crazy
emo emotional affair thateverything changed for me
and I gave up Lordship overmyself and gave it to him.

(09:28):
And so I just, I thinkyou're not alone.
It's so interesting.
I think sometimes weget a little ashamed
of our story as well.
Yeah.
Like we don't have anythingbig to to say, but that's
honestly not the case.
Yeah.
I mean, after being yourfriend and like walking
with you through justthis last season, yeah.
You've got so much to share.
And so with thatbeing said, Alicia.

(09:49):
I want you to talk aboutthe ways in which obedience
has changed your life.
And I know like it's beena huge word and a huge
theme for you right now.
And so I guess to divein, I want you to tell me
what is the hardest Yes.
You ever had to say,

Alicia (10:06):
well, there's so much on this topic because
I feel like this is justwhat I've been living out.
And I think at first theword can sound so scary.
Mm-hmm.
But it's really not.
Mm-hmm.
Because you're just walkingwith the Lord and you're
just choosing his wayfor you over your own.
Yeah.
And I already did it my way.

(10:26):
Yeah.
I already did it my way for30 years and it didn't work.
So I was like, I needto try the Lord's way.
But the hardest one, Imean, there was, there
was a time before.
I'm like, maybe I shouldshare the first time, which
led to, okay, this one.

Kayley (10:44):
Well, that's kind of what it, what it is, right?
Yeah.
Like you obey and thenyou're like, wow, like
my life is better.
And so obedience in away becomes easier, but
it's still really hard.
Yeah.
Because you do harderthings, but you know that
there's a reward to it.
So Yeah.
What was that first thing?

Alicia (10:59):
So the first one that I can remember vividly, I'm like,
I'm sure there's probably othermoments, but I was actually,
I tend to do this a lot.
I'll like pace around my islandand pray and just talk to God.
And I felt in myspirit strongly.
And he's just like, you'renever gonna drink again.
And I was just kind of like,did, did I hear that right?
Like what?
It wasn't, I don't thinkit was anything audibly.

(11:21):
I think it was just in myspirit I knew like that was
the Lord saying like, you'rejust not gonna do this anymore.
And I was like, is thisgonna be like, like a
week or a couple months?
Because like I never have an,had an issue with drinking.
Like it was neverreally an issue for me.
I just thought it wasinteresting that he was
calling me to that, buteventually I was just like, no.
Like he, he wants meto never drink again.

(11:44):
And

Kayley (11:44):
you tried to drink after you heard that, right?

Alicia (11:46):
Yeah.
So I literally, that nightwent to a friend's and she
gave me a glass of wine andI drank I think maybe one or
two glasses, which was normal.
Like I can drink one totwo glasses and be fine.
Um, but on my way home I feltsick to my stomach, like sick
and I never get sick off wine.
And I, in that moment I waslike, I was disobedient.

Kayley (12:05):
Ugh.
And that almost makesthe heart sick too.

Alicia (12:08):
Yeah, it made my spirit sick and I was physically
sick and I was like, I don'tknow why you're calling me
to do this, but you haveto have a reason for it.
There's gotta be a reason.
Um, and then I think slowlyafter that, honestly, he just
took my desire away to drink.
Wow.
I just have no urgeto drink at all.

Kayley (12:29):
What do you think the fruit of that
obedience has been?

Alicia (12:31):
I think just like there's been, there's
been so many blessingsthat have come from that.

Kayley (12:36):
I mean, 'cause your testimony is
really shaped by that.
Yeah.
You, you talk about the Lorda lot to people and most of
your community, they knowyou don't drink anymore.

Alicia (12:45):
Yeah.
I think too, I'm around like,especially being in Nashville.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I'm just around of it a lot.
I'm around a lot of drinking.
I mean, I think it's come tothe point where people know that
I don't drink and they acceptit, but at first people are
like, how are you having fun?
And like, how canyou come to a bar?
'cause I would go tobars a lot and people are
like, how do you come toa bar and just not drink?
I'm like, I don't need tohave a drink to have fun.

(13:07):
Like literally havefun with the Lord.

Kayley (13:08):
I feel like that's the biggest
misconception, like Yeah.
Oh, when you follow Jesus,you don't, you can't drink,
you can't have sex, youcan't have all these things
that you really would want.
Yeah.
But the truth is, is likeI have way, much, way more
fun abstaining from thosethings and doing what
God is asking me to do.
There's something sofulfilling about it.
'cause I've had similarexperiences where I felt

(13:30):
like God was like, I don'twant you to drink anymore.
And I mean, I also neverreally drank, I didn't
start drinking until, yeah.
I was like 30.
And I, it's introduced.
I know it's, I, I startedintroducing it into
my lifestyle, but myfamily has a history of
alcoholism and abusing it.
Yeah.
And, and really notbehaving well with it.

(13:51):
And so I just, I foundmyself dabbling, like out
of curiosity, I guess.
And then.
At one point, not too long ago,maybe last year or the year
before, God's like, Hey, uh,by the way, you're not holding
that glass of wine anymore.
You're actually hugging it.
And there's a bigdifference in that.
And he goes, you're never gonnaget true comfort from me if

(14:12):
you don't let go of that wine.
Yeah.
And it just like that theLord was saying, you're
now slipping into relyingon it for something.
Yeah.
And I actually wanna be whatyou rely on for all of your
comfort, all of your needs.
And um, that was a bigwake up call for me.
And ever since then, it'sbeen me like practicing

(14:32):
abstaining from it.
And then I'll have another, andthen God will lead me to another
thing of, Hey, I really wantthis to not be in your life.
And I'm like, wow, okay.
So we have to walk theroad of, okay, I'm not
going to drink at all.
It's not gonna bea part of my life.
And I'm okay with thatbecause it wasn't a part of

(14:53):
my life for so many years.
But I don't know.

Alicia (14:57):
It's a social thing.

Kayley (14:57):
Yeah.
It's, it is a social thingand, but I think bigger
than the social thing,it's the testimony thing.
Yeah.
Of I am publicly proclaimingand declaring my faith in Jesus.
Mm-hmm.
And my relationship with him.
And I think because of that,the Lord really wants me
to live a blameless life.

(15:18):
Yeah.
And I remember he hadgiven me Psalm 1 0 1 as
like, kind of like a, astatement of faith in a way.
And, and it says like, Iwill live a blameless life.
And obviously I can't dothat out of my own humanity.
I can't do that out of my ownstrength 'cause I'm human.
Yeah.
And I'm fallible.
And, but the thing is, islike anything that the Lord
puts on your heart to do,he will also supply you

(15:41):
with the strength to do it.
Yeah.
And I have just continuedto see that and, and it's,
you know, the idea ofliving a blameless life,
he's gonna help me do that.
Yeah.
But I think as long as Ihave a platform people are
gonna be going to me to look,to hear the word of God.
To hear the message.
To hear Godly wisdom.
Yeah.
And it's hard to receive thatwisdom if you also see me.

(16:02):
Yeah.
Actively drinking.
I just think that'sgonna be hard.
And I think that's part ofthe reason why he's Yeah.
Drawn you to sobriety.
It's just

Alicia (16:09):
like we're called to be more like Christ.
So it's like in that, it'slike even holding a drink.
Like even sometimes I'mskeptical with a mocktail.
'cause I'm like, is someonegonna be thinking I'm drinking?
And it's not like, it'slike, 'cause I have
to follow the rules.
Yeah.
It's not that.
It's like what am Irepresenting to other people?
Like I live in a life of somuch freedom and peace with God.

(16:30):
Yeah.
That it's like I just wantmore people to have that.

Kayley (16:33):
Yeah.

Alicia (16:34):
I just wanna be a good representation of who Jesus was.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you don't wanna

Kayley (16:39):
create stumbling blocks for people.
No.

Alicia (16:41):
Exactly.
Like people who, there couldbe people I'm around that are
having an issue with drinking.
Yeah.
And it's like, because I'mnot drinking, maybe that
encourages them mm-hmm.
To decide not to drink.
Yeah.
If they're having that.
Sure.
You know, versus like, let'sgo out for a drink or Yeah.
Like, okay, sure.
Let's do that.
You know?
Like, I just feel like,and also it's, it's called
Spirits for a reason.
Yeah.

(17:02):
I know.
You're literally inviting indarkness.

Kayley (17:06):
Yeah.
Well,

Alicia (17:07):
and it's like a portal.

Kayley (17:07):
You're under the influence.
The influence of what Yeah.
The influence of what.
Yeah.
And like we can be underthe influence of the Lord.
Yeah.
Or we can be under theinfluence of the world.
Yeah.
And like when you get blackoutdrunk, which I've actually
never been, I've only everbeen like really buzzed.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I've,

Alicia (17:25):
it's not pleasant.
It's not pleasant.

Kayley (17:27):
I can't imagine like, no waking up and not knowing
what I did the night before.
Yeah.
And feeling like, ohmy goodness, who do I
need to apologize to?
I don't even know.
Yeah.
I wasn't with it.

Alicia (17:37):
It's just the feeling alone the next day.
Yeah.
That is terrible.
Yes.
That's one thing Idon't miss at all.
Wow.
But, and I've been blacked out.
I've done, I've experiencedtimes where I don't
remember the night andit's like, what did I do?
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Did I make a fool of myself?
Yeah.
Like, kinda sucks.
It's just not something.
No.

Kayley (17:57):
And I've, I have, like, it says, like, don't
be drunk on wine, butbe drunk on the spirit.
Mm-hmm.
But it's, it's like, it's notabout being drunk, it's about
being like under the influence.
Yeah.
And man, there are momentswhere I get so high with
the Holy Spirit mm-hmm.
That it's, I mean, you feellike you, you're floating

Alicia (18:12):
Some people think that we're drunk.

Kayley (18:13):
I know.
I, I feel like electric.
Yeah.
On the inside.
And I feel like Ican do anything.
Um, but it's all righteous.
It's all, yeah.
It's all, oh, I can do anything.
I can do good.

Alicia (18:26):
More powerful.

Kayley (18:26):
I can do any good thing.
Mm-hmm.
And, um, I just,I just love that.
Yeah.
Okay.
So obedience with alcoholwas like the first domino.
Yeah.
And then what are the otherdominoes that have fallen since?

Alicia (18:38):
So the biggest one, which is like, not
always easy to talk about,but I think it's important
because it has literallytransformed my whole life.
And so I've been with my nowhusband for like eight years
and growing up in Canada, we,you know, everything was like,
move in with your partnerbefore you get married, you

(18:58):
know, have sex before marriage.
Like that was all normal.
Mm-hmm.
And that's kind of what wewere doing for the first,
you know, seven years.
And I remember one day Icame home and God clearly was
like, 'cause, and I was, I wasalready engaged at this time,
starting to plan my wedding.

Kayley (19:16):
And y'all had bought a house too, you were

Alicia (19:17):
Yeah, we bought a house together.
We were living together, youknow, sleeping in the same bed.
God's like, you know, Ifeel like the drinking was
like the first step Yeah.
To like kind of seelike, would I do that?
And then all of a suddenhe's like, I want you
to wait till marriage.
And that was terrifyingbecause I'm like, well, what

(19:38):
is, what is he gonna think?
Like the world promotes sex.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
That's, that's what theworld promotes is like,
you know, sleep with allthese people, go out and
party date multiple people.
Like that's justwhat the world is.
And it's like, so bydoing that, I literally
had to choose God first.

(19:59):
And I think I reached a pointwhere I was like, it is more
important for me to be obedientto God than to a please man.

Kayley (20:08):
Mm. Had you ever put God first in your
relationship at that point?

Alicia (20:13):
I don't think so.
Wow.
I mean, I think.
I can't remember.
No, it would've been after that.
I feel like after I gotthat conviction, I decided
to move forward with that.
Um, and then at the beginningof this year, I surrendered
my relationship to him.
I like, I'm like, I justwant you to be in control.
I want you to plan everything.
I don't know what's gonna happenand I'm just gonna trust you.

(20:36):
Yeah.
And just like, I feellike this year is like
the year of surrender.
Mm. And obedience basically.
Um, but it was, it was hard.
It was,

Kayley (20:44):
were you, were you ever afraid that he
would leave you Yeah.
By withholding that?

Alicia (20:48):
Yeah.
But I knew that like,if God was calling me to
be in that relationship,then he would make a way.
Yeah.
So I think I justhad to literally put
all my trust in him.
And there is a lot of freedomin that, but it is terrifying.
And there was a lot of, therewas a lot of hard times we
went through after that.
There's a lot of ups and downs.
Obviously the enemy's gonnatry to come in because here

(21:11):
we are choosing purity.
Yeah.
Which he hates.
But it was honestly thebest thing I could have done
because from that came morerespect, better communication.
So many other areas of ourrelationship grew stronger
from just making that decision.
And God was kind of blessing it.
Mm. You know,gosh, it's so hard.

(21:33):
Yeah.
And but it's also sogood at the same time.
It's like you're basicallyputting it on reverse.
Yeah.

Kayley (21:39):
I feel like it's different if you don't have sex

Alicia (21:42):
Yeah.

Kayley (21:42):
Before marriage and then all of a sudden you
are, it's like you've neverestablished that normalcy.
Um, but to go a certaindistance and then say
like, we've gotta actuallygo back to the beginning.
Yeah.

Alicia (21:53):
I feel like, like you're un marrying them.
I was basically married already.
Yeah.
You know?
Wow.
Based on how I was living,I was already married.

Kayley (22:01):
So what was the process of walking through that?
'cause it really was severalmonths that you were Yeah.
Well you, you first gotthe call and then Yeah.
You contended with how to obey.
Yeah.
What was it likebreaking the news to him?

Alicia (22:15):
Ugh, it was tough.
I'm trying to rememberthe exact moment.
Sorry babe.
But I mean, I feel likeit went, I think it went
a little bit better than Ioriginally expected, but after
that came some hard times.
Like, I think, I thinkfor him it was like a
feeling of rejection.
Yeah.
Like I was rejecting him and,and God also had to reveal

(22:37):
to me his side of it too.
Mm-hmm.
Um, like where he was inhis walk in faith, um, I've
obviously kind of dove inwith two feet and was just
like pursuing God fully.
Um, and we both, we bothbelieve in the Lord.
It's just like he is on hisown journey and I'm on mine.
So I think for him, atfirst it was like, yeah,
like is she, is she, doesshe not love me anymore?

(22:59):
Wow.
You know?
And I had to communicatelike this has nothing
to do with that.
But That's so interestingbecause I think a lot of men,
they feel the connection andthey feel the love through sex.
Yeah.
And so if my woman is.
Withholding this from me.
Yeah.
They probably feelit as withholding.
Yeah.
That's, and that meansthat I'm being rejected.
Yeah.

Kayley (23:17):
But what happens, and this is why I think it's so
important to wait for marriagebecause it allows you to build
that emotional bond Yeah.
With your future spouse andsay, we are going to know what
it is to love one another.
Yeah.
Without the physical.
Mm-hmm.
We're gonna know how, whatwe're gonna learn what it is
to love one another with HolySpirit guiding our actions.

(23:37):
Yeah.
And guiding our behavior.
And I mean, what a goodlike, healing exercise
for him in a backwardsway of like, yeah, okay.
I'm not gonna have sex with you'cause we're not married and
I wanna wait for this and theLord's calling me to do this.
Mm-hmm.
And in the meantime, you'regonna feel the pain of like,
oh, this feels like rejection.
And now you get tolearn what real love is.
Yeah.
Because it's notjust us being in bed.

Alicia (23:57):
Yeah.
And I literally just hadto trust, I literally had
to trust every single day.
And I think that's whatI go back to my favorite
verse when I first.
Found out about God wasProverbs 3:5-6, which is trust
in the Lord with all yourheart and lean not on your
own understanding in all yourways submit to him and he
will make your paths straight.
So I feel like the beginning of2025, I was like, I literally

(24:20):
need to surrender every singleaspect of my life because
the creator of all thingsknows what's better for me.
Yeah.
Than I know for myself.
So I literally had tosurrender every single day.
It wasn't just like Imade this decision and
then nothing happened.
It's like I had to be inthe word every day, had to
be praying every day, andhe somehow gives you this

(24:42):
sense of peace and joy thatyou just don't understand
even when you're goingthrough the hard times.
Like he just is so lovingand so caring and just
like walks you through it,even though it's so hard.
It was kind of like, nomatter the cost, this is what,
this is what I need to do.
Yeah.
Because it's actually gonna bebeneficial in the long run, even

(25:03):
if he can't see that right now.

Kayley (25:05):
So.
Now that you're married.
Mm-hmm.
What has been the fruitof obeying in this area?

Alicia (25:12):
So I think just like, I think marriage has become
such an important thing to him.
Like I feel like hehonors it more Uhhuh.
I think he honorsthe union more.
We both do, like, I think itjust holds so much more weight.
You know, like I feel likewe're living in a world where
so many people get marriedand then get divorced and

(25:34):
they get married and divorced.
Like it's nothing.
And, but when we look atscripture, it's like marriage is
like it's so important and it'slike to do it God's way just
felt more, it just felt right.
Yeah.
You know?
And basically with howeverything came together
for my wedding, he kindof proved that to me,

Kayley (25:53):
which I actually wanna talk about that because
your whole like weddingstory is pretty insane.
And I mean, you'redefinitely, you're not a
bridezilla by any means.
Like you are so easy,free, flow, happy.
I mean you're type A,but you're also Yeah, so
easy at the same time.
And um, anyway, tell that story'cause it's pretty amazing.

Alicia (26:15):
So there's a lot to it.
But if I'm like, 'cause I'mthinking of like there's
signs and stuff thathappened before that, there's
things that he revealedto me leading up to that.
Um, but I do remember one momentwhen we were at church, um, for
a girl's night and there was onepoint when God's like, or when
the pastor's like, I want youto leave something on the altar

(26:38):
and God's like your marriage.
Like, that's the first thingthat came to my mind and the
whole service, I'm like, isthere something else though?
Is it really my marriageor is it's something,
no, it's your marriage.
So I wrote it,surrendered it, um.
Then that night, whichI'd have to like, I'd
have to like back up.
But basically when I was fastingearlier in the year, God kind

(26:58):
of revealed to me a dear, um,and it was just a picture in
my living room that I saw,but for some reason that day
it came alive and I was like,longing for the Lord's presence.
And then he brought me to allthe scripture on deer and it
was like exactly a alignedwith what I was going through.
Mm. And it almost kind of cabecame like a sign that deer.
Um, so the night that I put thaton the altar, I was in the car,

(27:22):
um, with a friend chatting andall of a sudden these deer just
come like walking by the car.
And I just took thatlike, okay, you got this.

Kayley (27:32):
Why do you think he wanted you to
put that on the altar?

Alicia (27:36):
I think he just wanted me to fully trust him with it.

Kayley (27:39):
Because at that time, like you didn't know if you
were even gonna get married.
Yeah,

Alicia (27:43):
I was planning it for like towards the fall.
Um.
But none, none of the planswere falling into place.
'cause I was tryingto take control of it.
Mm. And I think he just wantedme to be like, I got it.
Like, just give it to me.
Mm. And I'll make it better.

Kayley (27:58):
But were you afraid in giving it to him that it
also may culminate in younot getting married at all?

Alicia (28:03):
Yeah.

Kayley (28:03):
So it was like, I'm giving you this
relationship whether or notI get married to this man.

Alicia (28:07):
Yeah.
Oof.
It's just a full surrender.
Like literally had totrust, like whatever God
thinks is best for my lifeis what's gonna happen.
And there was another signthat kind of came up and
it's something that's beenin our relationship, our,
our whole relationship.
Like he's always hadaddresses with 22.
His firefightingnumber was 2, 2, 1.

(28:28):
Our first house number was 22.
We put an offer on ourhouse on oh 2, 0 2 20 22.
Wow.
Like, it was just likealways that number.
So there was like one morningand my parents, um, were
living in The Bahamas atthe time and they weren't
gonna come visit me.
They were gonnago straight home.
And my mom's like, I thinkI need to come see you.
Like, I just wanna come see you.

(28:50):
And I felt this urge of like,do I need to get married?
Like the night before?
You just outta nowhere.
Yeah.
Like, I'm like, do Ineed to plan my wedding?
Maybe I just plan,maybe I just go to the
courthouse and get married.
Is that what he wants?
And then I woke up the nextday and I'm kind of spending
time with the Lord and he'slike, I want you to go to
the 22nd book of the Bible.

(29:10):
Like, I just felt thatthat nudge, and it was
like Song of Songs, whichis such a random book that
I've never really read.
But when I opened it, itwas titled The Wedding Day.
Mm. And something in myspirit in that moment was
like, oh, you want me toplan my wedding today?
Like it, it wasjust like a knowing.
It was so weird.

(29:30):
It was just a knowing.
And I literally planned thewhole thing within two weeks
and every, every singledetail fell into place.
My hairdresser was free.
Who happened to cancel twoweddings prior to that?
And she's like, I thinkGod left it open for you.
My photographer was free.
Um, so wait,

Kayley (29:50):
we have to back this up because like, you
really just, you plannedthe wedding in like a day.

Alicia (29:55):
Yeah.
One day

Kayley (29:56):
you planned your wedding in one day.
Mm-hmm.
But then, but also you plannedyour wedding in one day, two
weeks from the wedding day.
Yeah.
So that's, that's pretty big.
Like you planned yourwedding two weeks in
advance of it in one day.
Yeah.
And it was just the lord,

Alicia (30:15):
and it was so effortless.

Kayley (30:17):
So effortless.

Alicia (30:18):
And I'm knowing my past.
I'm such a planner.
Yeah.
So it was weird for me, right?
Yeah.
Like, I was like, oh, thisis gonna take months to plan.
But he just like, it's literallylike, he's like, forget about
your schedule for today andthis is what you're gonna do.
And I just reached outto each person, even
my alterations girl.
I already went in for adress fitting and my next
fitting was gonna be in June.
And I messaged her and I waslike, I can get a new dress,

(30:39):
but like, if somehow youcan fit me in, she's like,
we're gonna make this work.
You're gonna come and havea fitting this weekend.
He literally figuredout every single detail,
my venue was free.
Wow.
You know, like people wereoffering to do things.
All my family bookedtheir flights that day.
Wow.
With no hesitation.
Wow.
And it's single detail.

(31:00):
It's just so clear.
Yeah.

Kayley (31:01):
and then when we know that God is in the
story, we have so muchconfidence that that's what
we're supposed to be doing.
Yeah.
Like God made a way, God madethe nudge and gave everyone
peace to plan immediatelyto book immediately.
It's just so clearlyhe was in the story.
Yeah.

Alicia (31:18):
And I think I just knew that like I, like there's
so many other moments thathappen that like I could go
into, but it's like he madeit so clear that his hand
was on every single detail.
And I just knew, I wasjust like, okay, this is
gonna happen your way.
I couldn't havedone that myself.
No, there's no way.

Kayley (31:36):
And of course I was a fly on the wall and I
mean, simultaneously I wasin another friend's wedding,
like literally overlapping.
Mm-hmm.
And, um, her wedding wasreally a fast paced planning
thing as well, but theywere very, very different.
And I've also seen other,other marriages and other
weddings where the bride isplanning two years out and
it's so consuming and yeah.

(31:59):
It's, it's such a huge deal andeverything has to be perfect.
And I mean, my own wedding,like, I don't know, I, I,
I think watching you getmarried and seeing how
effortless it was, you were,there was no stress Yeah.
Whatsoever.
Everything just fell into place.
Yeah.
There was no contendingof like, what do I do?

(32:19):
What colors, whatare my choices?
It just, you took, youtook off all of the fluff.

Alicia (32:24):
Yeah.

Kayley (32:24):
And you made it about getting married.

Alicia (32:26):
Yeah.

Kayley (32:26):
Which is so beautiful.
It's like, I think so oftenwe think about the party, we
think about the celebration,and we forget it's a marriage.
We're gettingmarried to somebody.
We're, yeah.
Joining someone with someone inunity, in oneness before God.
And gosh, he just waspreparing your heart for
all of that this whole timewith the obedience and like,

Alicia (32:47):
yeah.
I think he literally neededme to walk through all
these little, and there'sother moments of obedience
that happened before that,but it's like he needed me
to walk through all thoseto prepare me, you know,
to surrender this to him.
Yeah.
And just trust him.
And I think the funny thing is,is I never wanted a big wedding.
I wanted something reallysimple, really easy.
So he literally gaveme what I desired.

(33:09):
Mm. In it all too.

Kayley (33:11):
Which is like if you chase after the de, if you,
what is it you chase afterthe desires of God's heart?
Like he will giveyou your desires too.
Yeah.
Or desire God.
And he will give youyour heart's desires.
I know it's in Psalm 37.
Yeah.
But, um, I, it's just so true.
It's like all the thingsthat you could want Yeah.
All the thingsthat I could want.
God knows what those thingsare and he's like, if you

(33:31):
just first seek me, yeah.
Desire me and I will make allof those things come true.
Yeah.
It's like we don't haveto worry, like, am I
gonna get what I want?
Am I gonna get what I want?
Desire me.
Yeah.
And I'll give youyour hearts desires.

Alicia (33:43):
And did some people think I was crazy?
Probably.
And that's the thing, like, it'slike there was people who judged
like the waiting until marriage.
There was people who probablythought like, how is she
getting married in two weeks?
Is she pregnant?
Like, is something going on?
Yeah.
But it was just all theLord, like he just, he just
planned it all he knew.
And in that therewas so much peace.

(34:05):
Like I, I feel like Ididn't have any stress.
I feel like that'show it should be.
Yeah.
You know, because I hear,all I hear about brides is
like, how stressful it was.
Like they were so stressedand then once the day's
over, it's like, that's it.
I put all this time andeffort into this wedding
and then it's just over.

Kayley (34:23):
Yeah.
You know?
Which is so sad.
It's kind ofheartbreaking in a way.
Yeah.
Because you feel likethat's your purpose for a
season to plan a wedding.
Yeah.
It's like, man, if weput our value as who we
are into the purpose ofplanning a wedding, yeah.
We're gonna be a littledefeated after it's done.
Yeah.

Alicia (34:39):
I don't think there's anything wrong with
having a big wedding either.
I think it's justlike, it's whatever.
It's just trusting God with it.
Yeah.
You know, like I feel likeif you have God at the center
in planning it, even if it'sbig or small, like you're
gonna have peace and he'sgonna guide each each step.
Right.

Kayley (34:57):
So, you know.
You're talking about how likeyou appreciate marriage that
much more because of Yeah.
The abstinence leading up to it.
Do you feel like yourhusband values you more?

Alicia (35:09):
Mm-hmm.

Kayley (35:10):
In what ways do you think?

Alicia (35:12):
Just in like how he talks and like I feel like
he's so proud to be married.
Like there's been so manyinstances and he's a musician
as well, that he's beenon stage and he's just so
happy to say I'm his wife.
Like it's, it's, itmeans so much to him.
And like even when I askedhim about waiting until
marriage, like on the weddingnight, I'm like, is it mean

(35:32):
something more to you now?
And he's like, yeah, it does.

Kayley (35:35):
Wow.
And y'all had beentogether for seven years?
Yeah.
I mean, that's a long time.
Yeah.
And now you're in youreighth or ninth year I
guess, at this point?

Alicia (35:44):
Yeah.
I think it'll beeight years this year.

Kayley (35:46):
And that's a big deal.
Yeah.
I mean, most people are tiredof each other by that time.
Because you've beenliving as a married couple
for this long and Yeah.
Now he's like, wow,this is my wife.

Alicia (35:55):
Mm-hmm.
He's brought us throughso much prior to that.
Mm-hmm.
Like so many encountershappened together.

Kayley (36:01):
Yeah.

Alicia (36:02):
Um, even up to the fact that like, his daughter's
name, like was always the nameI wanted to name my daughter.
And when I met him,he's like, this is my
daughter's name, Lily.
And I'm just like,I've wanted to name.
That's the name I'vealways had picked out.
Yeah.
So it's interesting

Kayley (36:16):
you're coming into the role of stepmom as well.
Yeah.
'cause she's, she's older.
She's, you know.
Yeah, I know.
She's 15.
Yeah.
Is she 15?
Yeah.
And that's a whole nother story.
Yeah.
But how beautiful is that?

Alicia (36:28):
That's why I knew like, he's gonna finish this.
Like if this, if it's hiswill for this to happen,
like it's, it's gonna happen.
I just have to trust him.
And he proved it to me.
He's like, okay, you'regonna do this in two weeks
and I'm gonna take care ofall the details for you.

Kayley (36:43):
So where do you feel like God is
telling you to obey now?

Alicia (36:48):
So this is the funny thing is now that
that has happened, thenI'm like, now what?
You know, like thebig wedding is over.
Like I have my own businessand that's one area where
I feel like I still tryto be in control of.
Mm-hmm.
And he's like, I justplanned your whole wedding.

(37:08):
Why aren't you surrenderingyour business to me?

Kayley (37:11):
What do you think that looks like though for you?
You're a graphic designer.
Yeah.
You're your own entity.
You don't have any employees.
What do you thinkhe's asking with that?

Alicia (37:19):
To just fully trust him.
Like he is going toprovide the work.
He's going to use me tohelp other businesses.
And just like, it, it makesyou look, it made me look
at my business differently.
It's not just about like gettinga job and getting a paycheck.
Mm. It's like there'sa bigger purpose there.
And just trusting thathe's also gonna help me be

(37:40):
creative, like he's a creator.
And I'm a creator.
And he started to show methat in some visions where
I got visions of logos.
Mm. And it's like, why don'tI just pray before I design?
Mm. Why wasn't I doing that?
And I started doing it likeshortly after the wedding.
And I noticed, like even withproductivity, I'm just like,
okay, I don't know how I'm gonnaget everything done today, so I

(38:03):
need to just give it all to you.
And, and I did.
And sometimes there would bethings that would take me five
hours that took me an hour justbecause I surrendered it to him.

Kayley (38:14):
Submit all your ways into him and he will
make your path straight.
Yeah.
Like literally how often haveI gotten off the straight path?
And I've literally donethese winding circles.
Yeah.
I'm literally like, thepath is right here, like
straight ahead of me.
And I'm off doingcircles in la la Yeah.
Because I'm not submittingmy, my stuff to him.

(38:35):
And, and, and thenI'm like, toiling.
And then I'm frustrated and I'mexhausted at the end of the day.

Alicia (38:41):
Yeah.

Kayley (38:41):
Feeling like there's nothing to say for my
exhaustion except that Iwas running in circles and

Alicia (38:46):
Yeah.

Kayley (38:47):
I mean, that happened a little bit with just
getting this podcast off andlike the issues I had with
technology on websites and I,I, it was driving me bonkers.
I'm like, what is this?
Is the enemy sittingin my computer?
Is the devil in my keyboard?
What's going on?

Alicia (39:02):
Yeah.

Kayley (39:02):
And I think some of it was true because I think
the enemy wants to opposeanything where our, our, like
God is calling us towards.
But also I'm like, didI submit this to him?
Did I submit my day's workto him or did I just wanna
do what I wanted to do?
Yeah.

Alicia (39:16):
It's a control thing.

Kayley (39:17):
It's such a control thing.
Yeah.
It's like my impulse.
I feel like sometimes I'm aslave to my own impulses of
like, oh, I'm gonna do this.
But then there are othertimes where I feel like my
impulses are heaven sent.

Alicia (39:27):
Yeah.

Kayley (39:27):
And then I see the fruit of like going forward
in something that God is like,yeah, I wanted you to go there.

Alicia (39:32):
Some things that you don't even realize.
No.
They happen and you're like,oh, I just impulsively did this
and your hand was on at all.
I know.
Without even knowing.
I

Kayley (39:41):
know.
Okay.
Well actually, so thislet's, let's talk about our
weekend that we just had.
Yeah.
Okay.
'cause what is today?
It's May something.
No, no, it's June 3rd.
June.
It's June 3rd.
Yeah.

Alicia (39:50):
June

Kayley (39:50):
3rd.
Okay.
So we were just inFlorida this past weekend.
I wanted to go see mymom for her birthday, and
Allegiant Airlines has ahundred dollars round trip.
And so I was like, I'mgoing to Florida and we're
gonna go to the beach andwe're gonna see my mom.
And I was like, Alicia,why don't you come
with, I mean, so easy.
Just hop on the plane.
And so we went and as we'rewe're, we're getting picked
up from the airport and wedecided to go straight to

(40:12):
the beach with my family.
And on our way back intoFort Myers, Florida, she's
like, well, I wanna see yourown old stomping grounds.
Like, I wanna seeyour high school.
Yeah.
And I was like, okay, yeah,that could be kind of cool.
Wait, actually we leave likeMonday afternoon, maybe we can
go in Monday and I can liketalk to the kids or whatever.
Yeah.
And I reach out to my oldEnglish teacher and I say, Hey,

(40:34):
um, are you teaching on Monday?
'cause I wanna comeinto your classroom.
And she goes, oh.
I actually retired two yearsago when my son passed away.
And her son was like three orfour years younger than me.
And when I read thatmessage, I was like, my
heart just shattered for her.
And all of a sudden, like theimpulse I had was, I need to
buy her flowers and I needto do something for her.

(40:57):
Like, I don't knowwhy, but I need to.
And then she messagesme again and says, you
know, my son's birthday.
Is on Monday, it's June 2nd.
And I'm like, man, I'm herefor my mom's birthday, which
is also on June 2nd I waslike, Hey, I wanna mail you
my favorite devotional, whichis Streams in the Desert.
It got me throughthe hardest time.
Can I have your address?
Sneakily got her address sothat I could literally show up

(41:17):
on her doorstep with flowers.
Yeah.
And the actualdevotional in my hand.
And we did that theday we left on Monday.
And uh, when I got there,and this is all your fault,
Alicia, because you're like,I wanna go to your high school
and see your stomping grounds.
I'm like, let mecall my teacher.
And because of that Ihad now this impulse of.
I need to bless her.

(41:38):
I want to bless her.
And I could have just seen hermessage and said, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna pray for you.
Yeah.
But no, I was like, we'vegot to do something more.
We get flowers, getthe devotional show
up on our doorstep.
Her husband answers thedoor, has no idea who I am.
And I'm like, he's lookingat me like I'm some weirdo.
And I'm like, no, I, I'mactually your, your wife's
student from a while ago.

(41:59):
He's like, oh,you're the singer.
And I was like,he knows who I am.
This is great.
And, uh, and so then he's like,well, she's in the shower.
And I was like, it's okay.
I, I can wait.

Alicia (42:08):
Yeah.

Kayley (42:09):
And he goes, well, come on in.
And she comes outta the shower.
She's wearing a bathrobe.
She got her hair and a,like, her wet hair's wet.
And she just, I hug herand she falls into my, onto
my shoulder just weeping.
And I'm just like,ah, that's so good.
Like, she need, and she's,she's told me, she said,
I needed this so bad.

(42:30):
Yeah.
And I was like, man,this is why we obey.
It's like, it's always agood thing to have a word of
encouragement and to show up.
It's like.
This desire, I had to see her.
Yeah.
Knowing that her son whopassed away way before
he should have, yeah.
He was probably late twenties.
It was a motorcycle accidentwhere someone ran, this woman
ran a red light and killedhim in an intersection.

(42:52):
He was on his way to work.
He'd just gotten backfrom teaching English
and Bangkok like, thiskid had so much promise.
Yeah.
And here he is, he's passedaway and now it's his birthday.
And his mom is still grieving.
Of course.
Yeah.
Because she's, how doyou not, like, how do
you not just grieve?
Yeah.
And so anyway, it was,that was this, that was
literally yesterday.

(43:13):
Yeah.
That we surprised her.
And um,

Alicia (43:16):
but just shows like how God works.
Like Yeah.
When you don't even realize it.
And I feel like he putsthose desires on our heart.
Like he changes our heart.
And that's why you wanted todo that for her, you know?
Yeah.
And that made her whole day,

Kayley (43:30):
oh my gosh.
She needed it.

Alicia (43:31):
Yeah, she needed it so bad.

Kayley (43:33):
And we just don't know what's on the other
side of our obedience.
Mm-hmm.
Like I didn't haveto go do that.
No.
And you said somethingyesterday, you said Salvation.

Alicia (43:40):
What did you say?
I said obedience is the onlything that leads to salvation.
Because if we look throughall of scripture, like when
I'm reading all the stories,it's like someone had to
obey God in order to goout and share the gospel.
Wow.
Yeah.
You know, or like there'sso many, there's so much

(44:01):
scripture and obedience justkeeps coming up over and over
again all throughout the Bible.
But it's like if we don'tobey God and we don't
follow his will, how willanyone know about him?
Yeah.
You know, because we, wecan't do it on our own.
No.
We need his strength.
We need the Holy Spirit.

Kayley (44:18):
So what do you do when like.
Have, or have you ever had aninstance where God has called
you to obey in something and youdidn't know why and you did it
and you're waiting to see like,okay, where's the fruit of this?

Alicia (44:31):
it's interesting you say that because I feel like
I got, I got convicted aboutthe marriage thing I think
a year prior, and I actuallydidn't follow through with it.
'cause I was still earlyin my walk in faith.
Yeah.
Because like, I didn't, Iwasn't ready to trust him yet.
Interesting.
Yeah.
you're so unsure and he, Imean, he guides you and he gives

(44:53):
you a peace every day when yousurrender, but you're still
just kind of like, okay, Lord.
Like what is, whatdoes this look like?
Yeah.
How do I walk thisout every day?
Is it gonna end the way I think?

Kayley (45:05):
Yeah.

Alicia (45:06):
Or is it gonna be, are you gonna take me
down a whole other path?
And just trusting that.
Right.

Kayley (45:11):
Well, and I remember watching you in that season,
like when we met Yeah.
When we really became friends.
You were engagedliving with him.
And I just thought to myself,I'm like, if she's chasing God
the way I know she is mm-hmm.
He's gonna convict her.
And I knew I didn't have tosay anything as your friend.
Yeah.
Like of course I wantedto ask you questions like,
Hey, do you, you know?

Alicia (45:31):
Yeah.

Kayley (45:31):
What does God say about the way you're living?
And um, but I knew Ijust didn't need to.
Yeah.
Which I think is another word.
It's like, sometimes the bestway to love our friends is
to just push them to Jesus.
Yeah.
And not push rules on them.
Yeah.
And because I knew like.
I know what living in sinis, you know, like I've, I've
lived in my own sin, you know?

(45:52):
Yeah.
And so, but to be yourfriend on the outside and
just watching you wrestle itout with the Lord and just
encourage you, when I knew Ineeded to encourage you, but
not say like, Hey, by the way.
Yeah.
Like, I don't, I thinkthat would've pushed you
away from me, honestly.

Alicia (46:06):
Well, yeah.
It's interesting how he,like, he does that, right?
Like, it's like it's, there's,there are times he calls us
to say things and then there'stimes where we just have to
let the people go throughit, walk it out, walk it out.
And, and I kneweven if it's hard,

Kayley (46:21):
but I knew, I was like, the fruit of her
life is so evident to me.
Mm-hmm.
She is chasing God down.
She's spendingdaily time with him.
Yeah.
There's no way he's notgonna reveal something
to her to convict her.
Yeah.
And sure enough, he did.
And the day you toldme, I was just like, I
just had to worship God.
I was like, wow,I'm so happy because

(46:41):
It's just so good, you know?
'cause like when you'reconvicted to obey and then you
obey, your life gets better.
Yeah.

Alicia (46:46):
It's literally like the best thing.
Like when you hear the wordobedience, it sounds scary.
Yeah.
It sounds like youhave to follow rules.
Yeah.
Or hard.
Why would I wanna obey someone?
I just wanna do what I want.
Like we're living in a worldwhere everyone's like, let's
just do what we want all thetime, whatever that looks like.
But what I've learnedis like, I've done that.
I've done it my own way.

(47:06):
I've done whatever Iwant for so many years.
And this, this year inparticular is the year that I've
walked the most in obedience.
And it has been thebest year of my life.
Ah,

Kayley (47:18):
can we say it again For the people in the back

Alicia (47:21):
walking in obedience this year?
has been the bestyear of my life.
I've made the best friends,I've gotten married.
I've had more joy andpeace than I've ever had.
And I feel like that is evident.
Like, I feel like that'swhy a lot of people haven't,
I mean, I'm sure they'reprobably questioning like,
why would she do that?

(47:42):
But I think they cansee the joy that I have.
Yeah.
And they're just kindof curious about it.
Yeah.
And they're like, what is this?
You know?
Yeah.
And it's like, I'vedone life without him.
Yeah.
And it sucks.
And it sucks.
There's momentsthat are good, there's like
little moments that arehappy, you know, when you
get a new job or like youmove into a house, like

Kayley (48:00):
you get a puppy.

Alicia (48:01):
Yeah.
Like you, you get excitedin those moments, but
it's like, it's not a joylike the Lord gives where
it's like a daily thing.
Like he just, even when you'regoing through hard times, like
this was also one of the hardestyears of my life, but because
I had him, it was, it was easy.
'cause he gave me thejoy he gave me the
ability to walk it out.

Kayley (48:21):
It just makes it rich.
And that's why like, one ofmy favorite verses is, um,
you know, the enemy comesto steal, kill, and destroy.
But I come to give you arich and satisfying life.
Yeah.
That's what Jesus says.
It's like, yeah, the enemywanted to take you out.
Yeah.
He wanted to putyou in so much fear.
Yeah.
That if you really obeyed God,you would lose your relationship
with your now husband.

(48:43):
You would, I don'tknow, be rejected by all
these different people.
Yeah.
Like the alcohol.
Oh, if, well, if you stopdrinking, you're gonna lose
all your friends or whateverthe enemy he wants to steal
your desire to obey and hewants to kill your destiny.
He, like you are on track todo wonderful things in the
kingdom because God, he'sseeing how you're obeying him.

(49:04):
And he's like, I trust her.
I trust her to share the word.
I trust her to share hertestimony with people.
I trust her to comeon Bible Bish and talk
about scary things.
Like he's just, he'sjust, you're just proving
that you're trustworthy.
For the things he has for youand wants to share with you, and
therefore your testimony is morestrengthened and emboldened.
And you get to tell yourstory like you are today.

(49:26):
And I know there are peoplethat need to hear this.
There are people thatare, that are feeling
convicted to not have sex.
Yeah.
To wait.

Alicia (49:34):
Like I want purity to be popular.

Kayley (49:35):
Yes.
Let's make purity popular.
Make purity popular again.
Purity.
I gotta, we,

Alicia (49:40):
it's almost like you wanna just
win against the devil.
Yeah.
Like he's taking controlover the world and he's
confused so many people.
Yes.
And people are living insin and so depressed and
more anxiety and depression.
More suicide.
Yeah.
More everything.
And it's like, I wannashow people like you
can be free from that.
Yes.
Because of Jesus.
Literally, like you don't haveto live a slave to that anymore.

(50:01):
And I think the more you walkwith God, the more you see.
And it's not coming froma place of judgment.
Yeah.
For people who are sinning,it's like you're watching
people's lives be destroyedbecause of sin, and you just
want so badly for them to seelike there's a better way,

Kayley (50:15):
there's a better way,

Alicia (50:16):
and God's way is better.

Kayley (50:17):
It's so much better.
Like it's, I literally, Ihave the time of my life not
being in charge of my life.
Yeah.

Alicia (50:23):
It's freeing.
It's why do we wanna be incontrol?
No, it's not.

Kayley (50:27):
I just like, Lord, anytime something disrupts
my plans for the day, in thepast I would get so upset.
But now maturity has shown melike, wait, wait, wait, wait.
The Lord can use this.
Yeah.
Because even if the devilcame like wanted to come
in and upset my day, evenif it started with him.
Yeah.
I know what scripture says.
Scripture says what thedevil means to harm you,

(50:48):
the Lord can use for good.
Mm-hmm.
And so when it ever, anythingbad happens, I'm like, okay,
Lord, what are you gonna do?
Yeah.
What do you get to do with this?
Because there's something goodthat's gonna happen from this.
Yeah.

Alicia (50:58):
And it, and we have to experience those hard times.
'cause that's whatbuilds our character.
Yeah.
That's what helps us persevere.
Yeah.
And continue going.
And also that's whatmakes us rely on him.
If we never had any strugglesor challenges, why would
we, why would we need him?
Yeah.
We would just do it ourself.

Kayley (51:13):
Yes.
We'd be our God.

Alicia (51:14):
So he has to bring us through these
hard seasons to grow us.
Yeah.
And help us to rely on him more.

Kayley (51:20):
Well, and the thing is, we're gonna go through hard
seasons with or without him.
Yeah.
Wouldn't we rather justhave him on our side?
I, I, I really equatelike, even, even being a
Christian, it's like, sayyou're on an airplane,
everybody's a Christian.
I heard this analogy one timeand it just blew my mind.
It was so good.
Like, okay, we all embark.
We're all getting on the plane.
We all have thesame destination.

(51:42):
Yeah.
Yet some people on theplane are white knuckling
it because they're terrifiedand some people on the
plane are having a nap.
Yeah.
It's like, that iswhat faith looks like.
The faith is youget to take a nap.
Yeah.
On the way to yourdestination, we're all
going to the same place.
Mm-hmm.
Or you can white knuckle it andbe mad and try to jerk the wheel
out of God's hands and be upsetwith everything he's doing.

(52:04):
Yeah.
And not believe the word hesays, not believe his promises.
You can believe all thedoubts that the enemy wants
to plant in your spirit.
Yeah.
You can have terrible friends.
Like, I mean, like if I'm gonnabelieve I wanna have peace too.
Yeah.
Right.
I wanna, I wanna take a napon the plane, man.

Alicia (52:20):
And you, and you think about all the other, like even
just flying, for example, Ithink about all the things I
used to worry about, like whatis gonna happen when I land?
Where am I going,what am I doing?
Yes.
And now I'm just like,I don't know wherever
God's gonna take me.

Kayley (52:31):
Yeah.
Which is so good becauseyou are so type A. Mm-hmm.
And for you to just be so yeah.
Happy to do whatever.
Yeah.
Not, not need toknow all the details.

Alicia (52:42):
I feel like that's also why God gave me my husband,
because he is like that.
He's just so spontaneous andearly on in our relationship
he'd be like, we're doing this.
And it would be so last minute.
And I'm just like, what?
Like I didn't plan this out.
And so he knew, he knewwhen he picked him for me,
that that's what I needed.
And it's like, it's just sofreeing not to, like, I'm

(53:03):
even hearing some people whenwe're traveling and they're
like, they're like, oh mygosh, like I gotta land.
I gotta get my, am Igonna get my rental car?
Like all these fears aregoing through their mind
and it's like, just, just trust.
You know?

Kayley (53:14):
Just trust.
And it's the littlethings, it's like the small
obedience and we compound it.
Yeah.
Like there are big thingshe calls us to obey and, and
then there's small thingsthat he calls us to obey.
in which is something assimple as saying hello to
a gas station worker orsomeone at the gas station be
like, Hey, I wanna tell you.
Like the Lord loves you.
Yeah.
Like anytime he puts thaton our heart to share,
it's like that's, it's thelittle bit of obedience.

(53:35):
Yeah.
Alicia, I love you so much andI'm so glad you're my friend
because I, you know, a powerfulfriendship to me is one where
like we encourage and edifyeach other and when I'm going
through it, you just love me.
Like I have complainedto high heaven.
You've heard me get frustratedand upset, and you just.

(53:56):
You're, you're like asentinel, just so patient and
you remind me of God's truthand you remind me of God's
word and you don't judge meand you just call me higher.
And that's like the mark ofa really good kingdom friend.
And I love watchingyour story of obedience.
It's so encouraging to me.
I know it encourages others.
And so I'm so glad that youcame on this today and everybody

(54:16):
listening, I hope that youwere encouraged by her too.
'cause she is just an angel.
She's an angel and shelooks so good in pink.
You should go on YouTubeand watch the video
because you'll see the

Alicia (54:26):
as terrified as I was.

Kayley (54:27):
Yeah.
She was so terrifiedto do this today.
She's got this fear of publicspeaking and you know, it's
so funny 'cause the Lord iscontinuously bringing her
into a place of speaking.
Yeah.
And sharing her story.
And so I want you to telleverybody, one last thing.
I want you to finishthis sentence.
Obedience is worth it because?

Alicia (54:46):
Because it's so fun.
It is like, it's so fun.
Obedience is actually fun.

Kayley (54:52):
What's he gonna do?
What's he gonna do?
What's he gonna do?

Alicia (54:54):
It's like an adventure.
It's an adventure.
It's like you're being a rebel.
Yes.
In the world.
Yes.
You know,

Kayley (54:59):
A rebel to the world.

Alicia (55:00):
Yeah.
And there'll be a lotof people who are like,
why are you doing that?
Or you don't need to do that.
You know,

Kayley (55:06):
doubters, naysayers, you've already slept together.
Does it matter?
Yes.
But it does.

Alicia (55:10):
It does to God.
It does.
And it's justalways remembering.
And that's why we studythe word every single day
is because like, it helpsus remember who God is.
Yeah.
It's so good.
You know?
And what he, he knowswhat's best for us.
He literally created all of us.
Yeah.
How can we know what'sbetter for us than he does?
Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.
Nope.
When you think about it, itliterally makes no sense.

(55:32):
It doesn't.
And when you start walkingwith him, you start
to realize the truth.
Yeah.
And he just is like.
He just knows.

Kayley (55:39):
He knows.
Well, y'all, there you have it.
From the mouth of Alicia, thankyou so much for tuning in.
There was a lot of teathat we shared today.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and I, I hope that itchanged to you in some way.
I hope it's transforming you.
I hope it's gonna giveyou some encouragement
to go live in obedience.
I know each and every one ofyou are feeling a nudge to obey.

(56:02):
And that's between you and God.
I don't know what that nudgeis, but I just wanna encourage
you right now, like he sees you.
If he's calling you todo something, he's gonna
finish the story with youand you can hold him to it.
All those areas in in whichyou're afraid to, to to walk,
afraid to perform that thingthat he's calling you to
do, just put it back on him.
Be like, God, yeah, you'recalling me to do this.

(56:23):
I'm gonna do it, and I expectyou to be there for me.
And I'm telling you, hewill be there for you.
And so, yeah, you don'thave to fear and listen.
You're about to embark ona really, really fun life.
'cause I have a fun lifeand it's not painless.
It's not.
Fear free because we, you know,we are, I'm still encountering
fear every day, but theLord tells me to squash it.

(56:43):
He says, do not fear365 times in His Word.
And we're constantlyspitting fear in the face.
And so with that, we love you.
I hope that you go forwardtoday blessed and encouraged.
Thank you for tuninginto Bible Bish.
And before I forget,go on biblebish.com
Tell me your testimony.
Leave me your story.
Tell me how this podcasthas encouraged you today.

(57:05):
I wanna celebrate it.
I wanna talk about it and Iwanna yeah, encourage you.
And so with that, we love you.
Bye.
Don't forget to subscribe.