Bible Stories for Blasphemers

Bible Stories for Blasphemers

A weekly story podcast looking at the Bible as a wild collection of myths and legends, as told by a queer ex-vangelical to a secular cult survivor.

Episodes

February 21, 2024 130 mins

This week instead of your regularly scheduled sermon, we have a Very Special Episode featuring the Disclaimer Voice himself… that’s right kids, we’ve got Henry Rogland in the pulpit this week!!  Henry joins us to discuss his experience growing up  in Calvinism, the concept of T.U.L.I.P., and the Classic Christian School education. Basically it’s a generous helping of shame, a delightful little acronym that appeals to the youth of t...

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This week we dive into The Book of Joshua, involving Rahab's deal with the Israel spies sent to Jericho. More importantly, however, we provide our in depth analysis of the VeggieTales episode entitled Josh and The Big Wall: A Lesson in Obedience. Don't miss it. 

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme song, "Hooky With Sloane."

Edited and Mixed by Everett Kemper (@...

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January 24, 2024 53 mins

BEHOLD, the miracle of resurrection!!! We are BACK, and unholier than ever! 

In this episode we discuss our rounding out of our Holy Trinary by bringing on our new producer, Everett Kemper! And rather than a bible story this week, we touch on Mariah's upbringing in Scientology, and Dan's pre-college education at a Creationist school. 

Don't forget to email or DM us your questions about Scientology f...

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January 24, 2024 59 mins

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, it's... "Previously, in The Bible" in this Dragon Ball Z-esque pseudo-recap episode in which Dan recounts the Book of Deuteronomy.  So grab your salt, get in your Impala, queue up "Carry On My Wayward Son", and join us. 

Also: Remember to send us your Scientology questions & strange religious encounters!

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, a...

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April 12, 2023 68 mins

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers: we're done with the book of Numbers! Couldn't get through it without a few war crimes there at the end. Then in the Pop Corner, we go on a long and spoiler-full review of Knock at the Cabin, which (spoilers) we have some REAL bones to pick about.  

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme song, "Hooky With Sloane."

Edited ...

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March 29, 2023 66 mins

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers: GETTING THROUGH THE NUMBERS. There's a lot of names and laws in here folks, but don't worry, we have opinions to add to them, and Mariah has just found out that God eats food. Then in the Pop Corner, we discuss the DEEPLY important new Hozier EP, Eat Your Young. 

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme song, "Hooky With Sloane."

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This week it's a special episode for everyone in the flock! We talk to the infamous Robin, our hot Catholic friend! We cover her religious upbringing in Catholicism, and cover her journey to realizing why she didn't believe it anymore. We also dive into Mariah's many, many, many questions, including but not limited to:  "What can and can't you give up for Lent?" ; "What's with the obsession w...

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March 1, 2023 64 mins

Welcome to Wednesday Youth Group! Will Dan manage to tell the story in a reasonable amount of time while navigating Mariah's tangents, jokes, and questions?? Who's going to prison??? And, most importantly: what rooms will be added on to the Podcast House?????  Find out in this week's episode of Bible Stories for Blasphemers! Part of a complete breakfast.


Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, an...

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February 22, 2023 80 mins

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, Balaam makes a bunch of prophecies, and we go off on a bunch of weird tangents. Then in the Pop Corner, we discuss two deeply uncomfortable religious Superbowl commercials. 

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme song, "Hooky With Sloane." 

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme song, "H...

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February 15, 2023 78 mins

We got a big juicy one for y'all this week, kiddos! Strap into your high chair, put on your bib, and get ready to dig in to the delicious nonsense that is Number of Numbers, Two of Twos. For dessert we have a Pop Corner in which we explore and expand on our podcast house using our feelings. Don't miss it.

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme song, "Hooky With Sloane....

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February 8, 2023 50 mins

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, we talk about two stories: one where Moses hits a rock, and one where Moses deals with some snakes. Then in the Pop Corner, we discuss the most meta TV show that we've ever seen.  

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme song, "Hooky With Sloane." 

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bird Creek for our theme s...

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February 1, 2023 56 mins

Gather round dear flock, as youth pastor Dan spills all the tea of the one Bible story They don't want you to know about, and Mariah's hopes of becoming a Christian convert are dashed. Talking points include Jared from twitter, the Golden Globes, and Jerrod Carmichael's latest joke. 

Find us on Instagram @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.co...

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January 25, 2023 68 mins

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, we return shamefully from many time-based errors with a chronologically-inaccurate episode. Then in the Pop Corner - wait, it's the Science Section this week? Okay, a lot has changed. 

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Special thanks to Henry Rogland for our intro, and to Bi...

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January 1, 2023 79 mins

Heeey, remember us?? Your favorite bible camp counselors are back! Check out this special episode where Dan shares their research on how humans across the world have celebrated the new year over time.

We'll be back with new episodes every week in January 2023!

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Special thanks ...

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August 31, 2022 60 mins

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers, Dan talks about something in the Bible to do with numbers - a concept Mariah thought Dan would have learned a long time ago. Then in the Pop Corner, a HUGE BREAKING NEWS UPDATE and then Mariah discusses a rogue-like life sim video game she's been playing called Cult of the Lamb.

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestor...

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August 17, 2022 60 mins

This week, Dan tells the entirety of the Book of Leviticus. We learn about how if you try to do something nice for God but he doesn't like it, you'll probably get smited to shit. Also, Mariah teaches Dan about the origin of the human species.

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com. You can also find Dan on Twitter @DanRogland. ...

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August 3, 2022 71 mins

In this week's slightly depressing episode, we finally learn the epic conclusion of Exodus. Dan tells Mariah more details about the Arc of the Covenant, God tries to abandon the Israelites but instead tells them to kill everyone, and Moses becomes shiny.

If you can, please donate to the legal fund to hold the SPU board accountable: https://gofund.me/f8ef3398

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us you...

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July 27, 2022 65 mins

This week, Dan explains to Mariah the absolutely chaos and frivolity had by the nation of Israel while Moses was on Mount Sinai. Did the Hebrews betray God to start a new bovine religion? Did Aaron indirectly cause the deaths of thousands of his own people because of peer pressure? Who are we to judge? And honestly, God, what did you expect? 

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and correcti...

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July 6, 2022 60 mins

This week, Dan is very tired. We talk about God's commandments for how to live, and about a very spooky and intimidating angel. Then, in the pop corner, we discuss Christian schools and, in particular, the sit-in protest at Seattle Pacific University.

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com. You can also find Dan on Twitter @DanRogla...

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June 15, 2022 69 mins

Sorry this one's late, folks! This week we tell the story of the ten commandments, and get extremely sidetracked due to our mutual lack of a science education. Then, in the pop corner, we discuss the new comedy special "Rothaniel." 

Find us on Twitter @BS4Blasphemers, or email us your Bible questions and corrections at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com.

You can also find Dan on Twitter @DanRogla...

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