Ep. 196 - Sweaty Southern Slasher - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

We're heading to the sweaty South this week as Nick and Chris are talking the grimy and slimy 2003 remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

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Episode Transcript

(00:43):
What's going on, everybody? Welcome to big dumb monsters.
I'm Chris. I'm Nick.
And this week, we're watching the remake, the 2003 remake.
Let's specify yeah of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, not the 2022
influencers versus Leatherface. That's not that's that didn't
happen. That's something.

(01:04):
That's yeah, let's just pretend that doesn't exist.
This, on the other hand, we'll pretend does exist because it's
it's not a bad remake. It's not a bad.
Movie. Yeah, it does the job.
Just not not. It's not exceptional.
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, No, I mean, if you're
going to use the, you know, if you're going to drop a name like
that on us, you got to come, come big, come correct, as they

(01:26):
say, in the 90s. Yeah, Yeah.
It could have gone, could have gone a little bit bigger.
Could have been corrector. Exactly, If we're going to be
St. about it. But here we go, We're going to
talk about the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre starring
Jessica Biel here on Big Dumb Monsters.
Enjoy the show. You know what?

(02:25):
It's fine. It's Monday.
That means we watched a movie, for better or worse.
Indeed we do. Yeah.
Oh, we're on a hype train all right.
All right. Yeah, What's going on,
everybody? It is Monday night, as Nick
said, for better or worse, I don't know.

(02:47):
I liked it. I liked it.
I should get on Mike. I should get on Mike.
You typically aren't. Yeah, No, that's why there's two
of us. That's why there's two of us.
There's the tech guy and then there's the personality, you
know? Yeah, you know, like you need
like the the Pat Summerall to fucking John Madden, you know?
Yeah. But anyway, Speaking of, uh,

(03:11):
mutant turkeys. Yeah.
We watched this movie is. Fine.
I, I think it's, I think it's, Ithink it's good.
I think I, I, I think it's abovefine, above standard, but not
great. Yeah, we'll say.
We watched the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

(03:32):
Or massacre, depending on how big.
Massacre. Yeah.
Ramones fan you are, Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, man.
Like it, It's it's OK and it's got some rad shit in it.
Yeah, but it is it is woefully aproduct of its era.

(03:53):
I'm. Just going to say that despite
being like drenched in the 70s, it is 100% an early 2000s horror
movie. Yeah, you know, you know how you
can really tell everything's wetand everything is lit green?
Yeah, yeah, everything's sweaty and fucking off color.
Yeah, this is also absolutely anattempt to be a Rob Zombie

(04:19):
movie. Yeah.
Yeah, down to the look of the director, Marcus Nispel.
Tell me that motherfucker's not trying to be Rob Zombie.
Right there. He definitely, yeah.
I forgot that this was a MichaelBay joint.
He produced it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(04:42):
That seems about right. But I I like this better than I
would a typical Michael Bay movie, I would say.
Yeah, because you. Can actually see what's
happening. He only produced it there.
There are complaints that I havefor sure.
All right, all right, and they're Bayish in in nature

(05:02):
because like a lot of the actionis so tight that you can't
really tell what the fuck is happening.
It's it's a solid attempt, but it like they're just it was
trying to be so like hip and newyeah rastic difference.

(05:26):
That one looks like an IPA. It's.
Fine, it's fine. It's.
Toxic it's it's just it's tryingto bring an older, more
successful movie into the moderntimes.
And like they, it doesn't need the modern touches.

(05:51):
This is supposed to be a dirty, grimy, make you feel
uncomfortable movie and you get some of that.
But for the most part, it's justit's, it's flashy, it's sleek,
and it's not, it's just not wellexecuted for its heritage.

(06:13):
Yeah, yeah. No, that's valid.
That's valid. Yeah.
I'm trying to think I it's been so long since I've seen the
original. I should have watched it while I
watched. You know, after I watched this
one, I didn't even. Think about it.
I've seen it a bunch. Yeah, I've, I've seen it like a
handful of times, not that I've seen this one a bunch.

(06:34):
I'd probably seen them like probably the same amount of
times. I think I've only, I think
watching this was maybe like thethird time I've seen this one.
I actually really enjoyed the prequel to this Texas Chainsaw
Massacre, The Beginning. OK.
The one after the OK, Yeah, you should have said we should have
done that one. Why?

(06:54):
I would have been fine. I was just throwing this out
there like, yeah. It's it's a fine choice.
We don't we don't have to love everything we watch here as we
which we typically. Don't.
Quite often don't, yeah. It's kind of our thing, yeah.
I don't know. I dug it, though.
I mean, I, I, I resisted the urge to play snap.
That's, that's that's, you know,that gets in some points.

(07:16):
Yeah, I got all the, I usually like get the podcast, not the
podcast stuff like the the videostuff going, the editing while
like I'm watching the movie, butI got everything done like as I
was, as I was wrapping up, I wasthrowing this on.
I was usually I was. I was paying more attention than
I usually. Do I typically watch these,

(07:38):
like, Sunday night when I like everything I need to do has been
done and I can just sit and watch a movie?
Yeah. Me and Monique, we sit on the
couch, watch the movie for the week, you know, like, that's
just the way it is. So I don't really have too many
things that I'm like, oh, maybe I should be doing this.
Maybe I should be doing that. Other than, like, looking at my

(07:59):
phone. Yeah.
But yeah, I know I resisted the urge to look at my phone during
this. Like, it was.
I'm going to be harsh on it because of its pedigree.
Yeah. What is the name it's using?
Yeah. But like, it is an OK movie.
Like it is too much a product ofits own time, but it's fine.

(08:23):
Maybe I'm looking at it in a lens, well, even like if I'm
looking at it in like of today'shorror, like the movies we're
getting now. But we're getting fucking good
Movies Now too. We are like it's horror is
starting to turn around because it's it's becoming.
Respectable. Almost.
It's. It is becoming respectable.
It's, it's, it's less like glossy, just kind of like the

(08:48):
same old shit. And we're getting like new
interesting ideas again. We're getting like really good
horror actors again. It's, it's like we're in a, a
renaissance of horror again, which is about fucking time.

(09:09):
But man, like, I don't know, I'mjust, I guess I'm a little
disappointed in this too becauselike Leatherface I feel like was
just like mishandled in this movie.
Yeah, like they make him too menacing and not weird enough, I

(09:30):
think. Where in the original he's
fucking weird. Yeah, like he's wearing a
woman's face like a good amount of time.
That was for the dinner party. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like get a little bit more like, you know, guess heaven be
creepy and menacing, but also like you had to play the weird
up a little bit too. Yeah, I think it needed a little
more weird, but I saw an interview like it was maybe

(09:52):
around the time that this came out or or maybe it was like
special features on on this one or the the one that came after
it or something like that. But the guy who played
Leatherface was like, he was like, really like, I really love
what? Oh, Andrew Bernarski.

(10:12):
Andrew Bernarski, he says, you know, like he really loves what
Gunnar Hansen did in the original.
And but like, that was more of alike a confused, scared, like
almost naive kind of character. And he wanted to just come at it
with like an anger and a resentment towards everything,
which is fine. Like I, I like, don't do one for

(10:33):
one because I've already got that right.
Like, you know, sure, do your version, but like you got to
kind of keep it in the lane. Yeah, because I.
Mean like the the two women thatJessica Biel like, runs into
their trailer. They even describe him as like,
oh, he's just a boy. Like, you know, he, he doesn't

(10:53):
know any better. Like even describing him as that
like confused scared person, right?
You know, but that's not the, that's not the character we
have, you know? What's up TJ, she was used to
working with deranged freaks forher time on 7th Heaven.
Yep, bingo. I've seen far too many episodes

(11:14):
of 7th Heaven. My mother used to watch that
show all the time. Dad was up to some the
activities, yeah. Yeah, Speaking of weird.
Oh, yeah. I get that they were trying to

(11:35):
do their own thing with this. And, you know, like they change
up the story and like, if you doit really, really well, sure.
I'm I'm on board. Like the introduction of Arlie
Ermi's character, Hoyt, like he's the villain through the
whole movie. Like it's, it's, you know, I

(11:55):
just like, I needed that character.
I think to just like, come back a little bit, maybe be more
intimidating than just like fucking crazy.
Yeah, yeah. And then have the crazy be
Leatherface or be some other members of the family.
Like I think like Arlie Ermi, like he steals the fucking show

(12:18):
in this like, and not for like not him like chewing scenery or
like, you know, like imposing his will on on the movie, but
like he's just that fucking good.
And I I don't think the other actors are just like up to his
level. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(12:40):
But they're not bad. Like, you know, like none of
these characters are like, God awful.
Like they're a little annoying. But yeah, nobody's insufferable
and not cheering for anybody to die.
Yeah, not like the wheelchair bound brother in the original,
like everyone just wanted him todie.

(13:04):
TJ Art is probably at court appointed drug something
counseling, yeah, I don't know. Mandated therapy, who knows,
Whatever he gets up to some stuff.
Let's see. Yeah, you know what's great?

(13:24):
Miller High Life. Beer.
It is the champagne of beers, Yeah.
Oh, we're going to open this. Yeah.
Second favorite bottle ever. What's #1 roll rolls, Yeah, with
a snap like. Yeah #3 is Coors banquet though.
That's W bottle. Love that.

(13:45):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anywho.
OK, so going back to this movie,I there's something I actually
appreciate. Like this is a gory movie.
There's a lot of blood, there's a lot of violence.
It actually takes a little bit of a page from the original and

(14:10):
it doesn't show that much like on screen.
It isn't super gory like like the one what the main.
Characters live all over the fucking place.
Yeah, it's completely off screen.
The what's D is a weird name. Kemper.
Kemper Yeah. Yeah.
Like, you don't, you know, he does get his face cut off.

(14:30):
You don't see it. You know, you see the one do get
his leg cut off. Like the the hook scene is
pretty gruesome. Yeah, but really like it's not
not that bad. Yeah, yeah.
And that that was the thing withthe original was like everybody
had like this. Oh my God, It's this crazy
intense movie, but it's intense with everything around it

(14:51):
because they used maybe a gallonof blood in that movie.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like it was everything was like.We've like, the one who gets cut
in half and, like, you don't seeit, you know, like it's about to
happen. And then like, you see her, you
know, Jessica Biel's reaction toit.
Yeah. Yep.

(15:14):
Again, let us know if the sound has has improved any at all,
that would be appreciated. Yeah.
Hopefully we don't have like a loose connection or something
somewhere. I.
Don't know but that that random like stab of static has been
that has happened our entire twitch career.
All right, good to know. Fucking weird.
Good to know it has not Fucking hell.

(15:40):
You'll get over it. Shit, what could it be?
I don't know. Anyway.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, OK, so back to
this ridiculous movie pacing. It's fine.

(16:10):
I don't, I don't think that it suffers like in any one spot
where it gets like too fast or too slow.
Everything seems pretty right onpoint.
Yeah, yeah, everyone is. Yoko Ono singing in studio.
Oh God, it's that bad. It can't be that bad.

(16:32):
All right, Hold on, Hold on. Hold on.
Hold on, what? Are you doing?
Getting away from my mic for a second because now I need to
hear this. Oh Jesus Christ, Yeah, everyone
is. Yoko Ono singing in studio.
Oh God, it's that bad. It can't be that bad all.
Right, hold on hold. On.
There's a little hiss in it, butwhat are you doing?
Oh, yeah, I hear that. I wonder if our mics are too

(16:55):
hot. Yeah, Avery.
Once it's not that bad on my endanyway.
OK, that's fine, we'll fuck with.
We'll fuck with our volumes nexttime.
Anyway, back to this movie. Yeah.

(17:22):
I mean, there's nothing like, there's nothing overly like
offensive about it, you know, in, in terms of a remake.
Yeah, I mean, as far as remakes,it could have been way fucking
worse. Yeah, we've had way, way worse
remakes. This is fine.
It introduces like a whole new set of characters and like, the
family characters. Yeah.

(17:44):
Which I, I guess I don't love 'cause I'm like, I'm really
partial to the, the characters we had in the original,
especially with things like the dinner scene and you know, the
grandpa character. But I guess that was a little
more like cartoonish than what they were trying to do here.
They're trying to like ground itin like some kind of reality.

(18:05):
But I don't know. I think it, I think it needed, I
think it needed some Wilder shit.
It was just, it's just like, it's just glossy.
Like it's a really glossy movie.And, and I don't want a Texas
Chainsaw Massacre movie to be sleek and, you know.

(18:26):
Yeah, yeah, I could see that. Elon is definitely more menacing
with a chainsaw. Yeah, Leatherface only kills 5
people in this movie. They're on track to kill, like,
millions anyway. Yeah.

(18:46):
Like, I like watching this this time around.
Like I didn't realize, Like I don't remember how like
unsettling it must be just driving around with a body like
that, like. Yeah.
Like in the Texas heat where it's probably like, let go of
its fluids like. It definitely would have.
Yeah, yeah. This this is a sweaty movie.

(19:07):
It is, yeah. It's unctuous.
Oh, man, yeah, I don't know, Like I wanted to like it more
than I did and I remembered liking it more than I did this
time, which is a bummer. So like, I'm, I'm actually

(19:29):
curious as like what, what wouldI think of the prequel going
back forward again? Because it's it's been a long
time since I've seen it. See, I remember liking the
prequel less than I liked this one, so I am also interested.
Yeah. Pardon me.
But I don't know you want to throw ratings now.

(19:50):
I think we can throw some ratings on this bad boy.
I'll kick this off. I feel like mine's going to be
the higher one. Probably.
I think it's decent. I mean, for for a 2000s horror
movie, you know, it doesn't go to quite some of the extremes of
the time. It's like this is very much the
height of like your hostels and.Shit like that, like when we

(20:14):
start really getting into like the gore like.
Oh, like the the? Torture porn.
Torture porn, Yeah, Yeah. So this is like after.
Is this after Devil's Rejects? No, no, because I want to say
like House of 1000 Corpses was like 2002, wasn't it?

(20:35):
Let's see, I thought that was like 99.
Or 2000 Jesus Christ 2000 maybe?Hold on, I have giant hands that
mash the keypad. Rejects was two 2005, OK, OK,
thank you. Thank you.

(20:58):
Yeah. So this is before Devil's
Rejects, so probably post House of 1000 Corpses, which is why we
get that very distinct like Rob Zombie feeling like, because
that movie was huge when it cameout and you know, horror wise
anyway, Yeah. Which was just a ripped off
Texas Chainsaw Massacre anyway. Yeah.
Just with a different flavor on it.
Is ripping off. It's a remake of a It's a remake

(21:22):
of a movie that's ripping off a movie that's ripping off its
original movie. House of 1000 Corpses was 2003.
No shit. Yeah.
So it's the same fucking year. Well, I think that came out in
2003, but I think he made it. Way earlier because he had.
Shit loads of distribution problems.

(21:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it still could be that this
is influential because it it feels like a Rob Zombie attempt
anyway. Yeah, I am going to go.
I'm going to go 6.5. I'm going to say yeah, I was
entertained. It's it's for a remake.
It's good, you know. Yeah, it's not as impactful as

(22:04):
the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
It it doesn't, it is a little bit generic, but it was
entertaining. I enjoyed it. 6.5 I stand by it.
Yeah, I'm going to go 6 like because like I don't hate this
movie, but I see what it could have been though, you know, like

(22:24):
there's there's it like it's it's missing salt, you know,
like I don't know, but like if it was on, I wouldn't argue
against it, you know. Yeah, yeah.
I'd leave it on. Yeah.
But yeah, I just meh. I'm just a.
It's very meh. Yeah, no, it's understandable.

(22:47):
Yeah, Are you ready, Trivia? Let's do some trivia.
All right, there's a button. There is.
God damn you Arthur. It only took me like 10 seconds.

(23:10):
To find it this week, not. To bother you with trivia.
OK, let's trivialize this movie.During the scene in the van with
Arlie Ermey and Jonathan Tucker,the the actor who played Morgan

(23:34):
Tucker forced the gun down his throat in order to make himself
vomit every take. If you watch carefully, you can
see him spit the vomit out of his mouth in the scene.
I mean, that's commitment. Yeah.
Erika Learson screamed so loudlyduring her screen test that
people in other parts of the building called the police to
report that a woman was being attacked.

(23:56):
That's dedication, all right. Yeah.
That'll that'll get you the shit.
While filming the scene with thepossum, the film makers had to
reshoot the scene numerous timesin order to deliver the scares.
But every time they filmed it, the possum appeared more
adorable than scary, which is because possums are more

(24:17):
adorable than they are scary. All right, shock them again.
Possums are great. I would love to have a pet
possum. I saw one actually playing
possum like recently. Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, it was in the road. I'm like oh, fuck, dead possum.
And like as another, I see another car approaching like I

(24:39):
think as the headlight hit it, like saw, you know, once the
headlights hit it, it fucking and fucking yeah, yeah.
Shit gargle. Yeah, to prepare for his role as
Leatherface. Oh, hydrate.
Oh shit. Andrew.

(25:00):
Brunarski. Brunarski that that Yeah, Andrew
Brunarski ate a diet of brisket and white bread in order to get
his weight to nearly 300 lbs. The sacrifices that these actors
have to make. It must have been so horrible.
Eating just eating brisket sandwiches.

(25:20):
I cry for you. I got.
To go to Texas and I got to eat brisket all the time.
Yeah, fuck. All right.
I weep. Yeah.
This was banned in the Ukraine by the Ministry of Culture.
OK, yeah, I mean, sure. Yeah, it's fine.
The remake saw is a Husqvarna 359 with a 28 inch guide bar.

(25:43):
These saws are made today and were not available in 1973
Texas. Yeah, it is a it is a really
good scene, I thought, where he first fires up that chainsaw and
comes busting through the fucking door.
Yeah, like that, Yeah. There are moments in this movie
that are like, really bright. Like, like that's fucking
terrifying. Yeah, Alexa's just going nuts.

(26:10):
Yeah, it's fine. Let's see.
Oh, Dolph Lundgren was first considered to play Leatherface,
but he turned them down so he could spend more time with his
family. I mean 2003 Dolph was still like

(26:30):
fucking stacked. Yeah, yeah, I mean to.
Me, it's still a big dude, but. Oh, he was doing much like film
wise at that time. 2003 nothing.Anybody was watching.
Yeah, yeah, he only, I mean, Jesus Christ going backwards to

(26:51):
like where he was last relevant before The Expendables was
probably Universal Soldier, which is what, like 90?
Yeah, maybe one or two, something like that.
Oh, actually, you know what not he wasn't really relevant, but
we were just watching Johnny Demonic.

(27:11):
He was the street preacher and that too.
Yeah, but I mean like. That was like 93.
Yeah, yeah, I'm still trying to think.
Yeah, no, he was pretty much nowhere until The Expendables.
Yeah. When the fuck did the Punisher
movie come out? 89 it.
Was like 8990. Yeah, maybe 88.

(27:31):
Yeah, yeah, we got to do that onDefenestration Hour.
But you guys don't like each other or what?
In 2002, Marilyn Manson was announced as the composer for
this project. He later had to bow out due to

(27:52):
conflicting schedules. That could have been
interesting. I'm good with it.
But but I mean like it would have been a lot of weird noises
and like sound effects and shit like that.
If if I'm like hearing in my head what like he had in mind,
no, like a full on like Marilyn Manson album played over this

(28:17):
movie. No, no, that wouldn't fit at
all. It's supposed to be 1973.
But like, weird scratchy noises and shit like he would he yeah,
that could work. The severed.
I called this while I was watching this.
The severed head of Harry J Knowles from Ain't Cool News can
be seen in the basement of Leatherface's house.

(28:39):
Yeah, yeah, it. Was like, I know that neckbeard.
Let me just get rid of one of these.
Yeah. No, I didn't know.
OK. I didn't know if that would have
wound up like in the credits of the movie.
I really, I was just going to mention.
Oh, yeah. And you see Harry J Knowles,
like, very beautifully. Yeah.
Notorious Internet douchebag, yeah.
Yeah, pretty much, yeah. That's that was his thing, like.

(29:01):
Very punchable looking Internet douchebag.
Yeah, and I don't know if he really is like a douchebag or if
that was just like a character he was playing, but he is just
not likable. Yeah, I think there have been
some stories like of him not being a great person that have
come in. Wouldn't doubt it.
Yeah, wouldn't doubt it. I think you know, it's not

(29:22):
official fact. This is our last IMDb trivia
fact for the evening. Film critic Roger Ebert gave
this film a rare Zero stars. It's not that bad.
It's not, it's not that he just doesn't like horror movie.

(29:44):
He doesn't like modern horror movies.
I, I think it's just kind of what he.
Didn't. Didn't he did, which is a fine
segue into one star. Reviews.
Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Am I going to make a sound clip for that?
We do, yeah. Yeah, it's it's got to have the
critic in there going it. Stinks, it stinks.

(30:07):
All right, this one is titled Where was the Cannibalism?
Good news, the 2003 remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre has a
chainsaw Massacre. And yes, it is in Texas.
Bad news, it's boring. See, I thought the cannibalism
was implied because anytime you see actual food in this movie,
it's rotting like all of the like stuff in the in the store,

(30:30):
like the there's like the pig, you know, chopped up pork that's
all rotten. Like anytime they open a
refrigerator, it's all rotten. So I thought it was just
implying that they're eating thepeople that they're killing.
And maybe, Yeah, yeah, there's alot of gross shit in the fridges
in this movie. Yeah, I just assumed that they

(30:51):
didn't. They didn't have electricity,
but. They're backwards hillbillies.
This is true, all right. A horrible remake for a
generation full of suckers. I don't disagree about the
suckers part. I mean, not horrible.
This is the most 2003 review you're ever going to hear.

(31:12):
All right, for all you kitties out there, here is the movie
that will make you pee in your little britches.
Teens should love this movie. After all, it has big breasted
Jessica Biel to oggle over. It has a slick and polished
music video look that the TRL lovers will go for.
It has a young love and lust, including a fledgling marriage
and a never to be used engagement ring shown in a

(31:34):
tragic scene that is sure to make the teenage girlies whine
in unison. And of course, it has enough
digitized chainsaw sound effectsto make the teens jump in their
seats and cover their eyes. Tell me you hate teenagers
without telling me you hate teenagers.
Yeah. What teenage girl broke this
man's heart 30 years prior in high school?
Yeah. Ridiculous.

(32:04):
I ogled myself silly. Guilty as charged.
Oh boy, Horror Gloss for those who don't want to be scared that
much. Saw the original in the
aftermath of the video. Nasty Fuhrer while and while I
can see the impact of the film on horror Canon, I never held

(32:26):
the film as a sacred cow so I was curious to see what they
would do with the remake. Oh dear.
Hollywood doesn't make scary films anymore, let alone
horrific ones. The criticism that horror films
are only made for audiences thatshouldn't even be allowed to see
such films as born out of this remake.

(32:49):
The special effects of bloodletting is now all
consuming, but without tone and intensity, to say nothing of
characterization. The whole film fails to scare.
Boy did that dude probably have a rough 2000s horror movie wise
if this was really like cheesinghim off that fucking bad.
From I know what you did last summer all the way up to Saw.

(33:12):
Yeah. I love this one.
Utter fucking cockroach shit. Maybe spoilers but who cares.
Even as I write this I have to listen to the to Robert Palmer
just to keep from tearing someone's throat out.

(33:33):
This has to be the most I'll conceived film in decades.
How could Hollywood forget why they invented remakes?
You do not remake a classic. It's a classic for a reason.
Because they did it right the first time.
The purpose of a remake is to take a film that had potential
but did not succeed. The original Texas more than
succeeds at scaring the various bodily fluids out of you.

(33:58):
I agree with that. He's like real intense about it,
but I agree. Bring it down a little bit,
dude. Like it's, it's a movie.
Yeah, dude, you don't have to watch it.
Did Texas Chainsaw Massacre needa remake?
Absolutely not. Movie stands on its own.

(34:20):
What? I mean, they tried.
I can tell that they tried. They honestly put a lot of
effort into making a good movie.Just didn't fire on all
cylinders for me. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, like, I can't.
I can't begrudge them that. And this one, I just snagged the
title because it's amazing. It's a massacre, all right.

(34:45):
Beautiful. And that is it for one star
reviews. We will move on to the better
known as. I know you.
I knew. I knew you, I knew I knew it was

(35:06):
you and you who feeling pretty good.
Yeah, I bet. Oh yeah, that dude probably
fucking hated. That's been for years.
That movie sucked ass. Yeah, that.
Movie shot, 4 fucking shot remake.
Yeah of the original Psycho. This literally does not need to

(35:28):
exist. You're not adding anything to it
at all. Yeah, you are just showing
everything that was perfected 60years ago.
What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, anyway, we're going to
move on to director Marcus Nispel.

(35:48):
He's got some horror movies under his belt.
Not good ones, not great ones, but he's got some horror movies.
He's also got the remake of Conan the Barbarian under his
belt. I didn't hate that the way
everybody else hated that. I didn't think it was great.
It was on the other day, I saw afew minutes of it and I just
wasn't like I. Don't.
It was just really generic. Yeah, it was what it was.

(36:11):
He also directed the Friday the 13th remake.
I swear it was. Good.
That was pretty decent. I I swear to God this came out
way earlier than 2009. No, I remember going to see that
theater. I saw that.
The Madison. He I saw that.
Crossgates and somebody with a laser pointer kind of ruined a
lot of the experience. Remember that one when like that

(36:32):
was a thing? Yeah, I do.
Fucking assholes. He directed that movie
Pathfinder in 2007. Wasn't that like Vikings versus
American Indians? Yep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have that Native American.
Sorry. I have that movie.
Oh yeah, yeah, all right. He directed a shit load of of
music videos. This is 2006.

(36:55):
He directed a Faith No More video.
There are plenty of more music videos coming.
He directed a version of Frankenstein in 2004, directed
Walking in Memphis and 1 by 1 toshare videos.
That was in the 2000s. He directed the video for Spider
Webs for No Doubt. He directed the video War for

(37:22):
Bone Thugs and Harmony. After this.
Yeah, after this movie, yeah. Yeah.
I didn't think Bone Thugs and Harmony were a band after.
This on John Mulaney's talk showthis week, He talked, he was, he
told the story about how he was trying to get Bone Thugs and
Harmony for the show. And like they were going to do a

(37:44):
bit where like the, the, the announcer is Richard Kind, the
actor. Yeah.
And like, they're going to do like, oh, Richard's turtle died.
And like they were going to haveBone Thugs and Harmony come ONS
and sing Crossroads about the turtle.
And like he told this wild ass story about how like everything
was all set. And then like the week of like

(38:04):
their manager called and like, yeah, we're going to need in
order for them to come out, we're going to need like $2800
in cash. And then, like, you know, at the
last minute they're like, yeah, we're actually going to need
like $50,000 in cash. Get the fuck out of here.
Pretty much is what he told them.
Yeah, Yeah. Anyway, he directed a mighty

(38:29):
mighty Boss Tones video in 2000.So sad to say.
That's a good. Song he directed a couple of
Bryan Adams videos. More Cher videos, another faith.
No more video. I think it's just videos from
here on. Simply read.
Simply read the B52's directed aPuff Daddy and Biggie video.

(38:52):
What video was it? Feat and bust stories?
I think so. Yeah.
I think I was on. Yeah.
Victory. Wasn't that the name of Diddy's
album? Maybe.
I don't. Know.
Where are we sat? Puff Daddy, Elton John, Spice
Girls, The Pretenders, Billy Joel, Bush.

(39:15):
A couple of Bush videos, Alley. Alley's in Motorways, Greedy
Fly, Janet Jackson, Little Kim Featuring Puff Daddy.
This dude's been to a baby oil party.
He's where we're where we're learning.
He's saying this guy has been lubricated.

(39:37):
I did a video for The Fugees Luis Miguel, who's a Spanish
artist. These are like huge songs.
Yeah, Gloria Estefan, Jodeci, John Sakata and Shanice.
Another Janet Jackson video. Crystal Waters, Bette Midler,

(39:57):
another Elton John video, all for 12103 Tevin Campbell video.
Excuse me, Amy Grant, a couple of her videos, another Gloria
Stefan Stefan video. Jesus.
Christ, yes, the student's done a lot of fucking videos.
Student like 20 a year. Another Billy Joel, Natalie

(40:19):
Cole, Right, Said Fred Gypsy. Oh my God.
He did a couple of at least a Stansfield videos, Tony Bennett,
Terence Trent, Darby, Diane Carroll, George Michael, Another
Faith No More Video and Vogue. This is like the music video guy
for a long time. It looks like Mariah Carey.

(40:41):
Colour me bad. CNC Music Factory.
Oh my God. Things.
That make you go hmm. Sheila E.
Oh my God. He directed the Going to Make
You Sweat video too. Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam Aretha
Franklin LL Cool Ji. Watched so much of this guy's

(41:02):
work before going to school. Yeah, in fucking third grade
for. Real, like on MTV, we're going
to move on to Jessica Biel. Like everybody knows her, but
like, it's tough to say what she's really most known for.
There's being Jessica Biel, I guess.
Kind of, yeah. She was in that miniseries Candy

(41:26):
a couple of years ago on like, Ithink it was on the cock maybe.
It got good reviews at the time.I did not watch it.
She's done some voice work over the past couple of years.
It's like looks like. Oh, that's right, she was also
famous for dating Justin Timberlake.
For a while. Married to Justin Timberlake,
Yeah. Are they still?

(41:47):
I believe so, yeah. I thought they, I thought they
broke up. She was on 2 episodes of Family
Guy. She was in the Hitchcock movie
in 2012. She was in the Total Recall
remake also in 2012, which was not good.
I refuse to watch it. She's in the 18 movie from 2010.

(42:10):
That was fun. Yeah, that was on recently on
like FX and I watched. Like, a really just like, stupid
fun hit of nostalgia. Yeah, yeah.
I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry. 7th Heaven, of course.
134 episodes. She's in The Illusionist, which
is the knock off of The Prestige.

(42:33):
I I think they came out the sameyear.
They did. Yeah.
Yeah, 2 like warring magician movies.
But they're both really fucking good, just the prestige is so
much. Better.
Way better. Yeah.
So much better. Yeah.
Jessica Biel is known for being the exciting incident and Steven
Collins descent him to perversion.

(42:54):
I detect no lie in that statement.
Let's see, she was in Blade Trinity.
Yeah. Yikes.
The Rules of Attraction 2002, which is a pretty good movie.
It's based on a Brett Easton Ellis novel of the same name,

(43:15):
which is also very good. Then we're going to move on from
there. Up next, Erica Lear lierson it.
Looks like Lierson to me. Yeah, this is the one.
I think it is. Maybe not.
I don't know. She's not she.

(43:37):
Good God, why did I save her? She's in wrong turn too.
CSI Miami, The Ghost Whisperer. She was in Blair Witch Two Book
of Shadows. That must be why I did.
Yeah. We're going to move on from
there. That felt that felt like one of

(43:59):
those movies that was like the script had a different title on
it. Yeah, we're just going to slap a
name, you know the name on this because we need to follow and.
A couple of references. Yeah, there we go.
That's what I wanted. No, Andrew Brynarski is up next,
who I was supposed to interview at Saratoga a couple of years

(44:22):
back. Last year.
Yeah, he couldn't get his flightout.
I think there was a Canadian wildfires or something at the
time and that's why I don't remember.
That sounds about right. Let me get rid of this one.
He is known probably most just for being the big thug in a lot
of movies. He was Zangief in the Street

(44:45):
Fighter movie in the fucking 90s.
He's been in a couple of Ice 9 Kills videos recently.
He was on Burn Notice for an episode, Dracula's Guest, 2008.
He played Leatherface in both ofthese 2000s Texas Chainsaw
Massacre movies. That's him right there.

(45:07):
Oh, yeah, We have the figure right there.
He was in an episode of Firefly in 2002.
He's in the scooby-doo movie in 2002.
Well, it occurred to me the other day, how have we not done
that movie yet? Yeah.
We can. Yeah, we have to.
I will rate it way higher than a5.3 I'll tell you right now.

(45:28):
Yeah, yeah, I'm down for that next week if you want.
OK. All right.
Fucking love Scooby-doo. That is a fun movie.
It's. Sickening.
No, I mean just the franchise like.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's me.
I'm their fucking target audience.
Target audience, yeah. He was in that God awful Pearl

(45:50):
Harbor movie in 2000 and one 6.2.
I'm sorry, Scooby-doo is way better than fucking Pearl
Harbor. Was that the one with?
Ben Affleck, Yeah, yeah, he was on Any Given Sunday in 1999.
He's in the Night Man TV series for a couple of episodes.

(46:12):
It was a Conan TV series in 97. He was on for an episode.
Same with Lois and Clark. 1 episode we mentioned Street
Fighter, the movie Zengeef. He's one of the Nazis in higher
learning. Skinheads.
He was on the greatest TV show of the 90s.
Renegade. Of course he was.

(46:34):
Lorenzo Lamas, my beloved. He was in that college football
movie, the program. I was 93.
Don't place at the table. He was Christopher Walken's son
in Batman Returns 1992. He is a necessary roughness in

(46:57):
1991. Hudson Hawk the same year.
A lot of football movies. Yeah, he is a a big dude.
Yeah, he's massive. Yeah.
Up next, Mike Vogel. He I saved him because I he's
the one like blonde dude in thismovie.
Did not realize he's the brotherin Cloverfield.

(47:19):
The one guy in the first guy whogets killed on the bridge.
Yeah, no, I like, oh, like, oh shit.
Yeah. Fucking.
He apparently played John F Kennedy in two episodes of
American Horror Story. Don't care.
Yeah, exactly. I don't care.
He's in that fantasy island horror movie from 2020.

(47:40):
Wait for it, don't care. He's in the childhood,
Childhood's End miniseries in 2015.
He was an Arthur C Clarke book, I believe.
OK, he was also he was one of the main characters in Under the
Dome, that mini series based on the Stephen King story.

(48:03):
Other than that, he was in, excuse me, 7 episodes of the
Bates Motel Pan Am, which was anABC show.
He was in The Help 2011. She's out of my League, the Jay
Baruchel comedy, 2010. Cloverfield was 2008.

(48:24):
That might be it for the notablestuff.
I mean the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.
Yes. Definitely a favorite of our
audience. Grind Grind was a good movie.
That was 2003, yeah. Up next, Eric Balfour.
He is another dude who just probably seen him in something.

(48:48):
I think he's most known for being on 6 Feet Under on HBO
like 20 fucking years ago. Yeah, he was in The Offer.
I honestly don't even remember him in that fucking miniseries.
Dean Tavoleris. I mean, it's been a while.

(49:09):
It's been a couple of years. Yeah, that show was so fucking
good though. 8.6 which feels about right.
Yeah, it's yeah. Yeah, it's accurate.
The offer was really good. He was in nine episodes of
Charmed Chicago PDA. Lot of like generic TV stuff
like your grandparents have seenthis dude at some point.

(49:29):
Ray Donovan, Franklin and bash no ordinary family skyline.
There's that. Like Alien movie 2010.
No, I'm like, I think there's a lot of stuff that like, oh, that
title is familiar, but then I also don't give a shit.

(49:52):
About it, If it was better, you would remember it.
Yeah. It's in 28 episodes of 24.
He's in Be Cool, the sequel to Get Shorty, which is not nearly
as good as Get Shorty. It it couldn't be.
Yeah, no, yeah, 2003. Also 2003 second hand Lions with

(50:14):
Robert Duvall and I don't remember, they came up a couple
of weeks ago. Yeah, it did. 6 Feet Under we
mentioned NYPD Blue with a lot of generic ass TV.
Chicago Hope, The West Wing, Nash Bridges he's in.
Can't hardly wait in 1998. Dawson's Creek he's in.
Clueless the TV series yeah. Buffy the Vampire Slayer he's in

(50:40):
the 1st 2 episodes. He was like the 5th member of
the gang, but he dies in the second episode.
Oh. Yeah, that might be it.
Fountain Boy Meets World, Animaniacs, Doctor Quinn,
Medicine Woman, Step by step, a lot of general fucking TV.
Kids Incorporated. Kids Incorporated, I remember
that. 919091 up next. Sorry.

(51:10):
R Lee Ermi fucking you know R Lee Ermi.
Fucking legend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If he had never done any other movie than Full Metal Jacket, he
would still be a fucking legend.Yeah, like that is a movie I
quote to this day. Yeah.

(51:32):
Jesus fucking Christ, Who do youthink you are?
Mickey fucking Spillane. There will be a magic show at O
800. If God wanted you to the top of
this obstacle, He would have miracled your ass up there.

(51:57):
I guess the core doesn't get hers.
TJ says hydrate all. Right, twist my arm.
I'll have another beer. Yeah, thank you.
Yep, we are hydrating. Cheers.

(52:19):
I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
Right back into that Yeah. Damn TJ, that's just fucking
rude when you can't afford JaredLeto but you want the same level
of uncomfortable tension on set.It's pretty on point from what

(52:43):
I've read. I mean, aside from Full Metal
Jacket, which again, I don't think we need to step aside from
Full Metal Jacket. I bet you I'd let you come over
and fuck my sister. He was the voice of Sarge in the

(53:07):
Toy Story movies. One of the Army guys, you know,
the head Army guy, obviously. I know buddy.
He is in both of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre early 2000
movies. Yep, he's in X-Men The Last
Stand. I don't remember that, but he's
in it. Just a voice.

(53:28):
Yeah, let's see, he's in Willardthe Fucking Rat movie with
Crispin Glover. I never saw that.
Same here. That was a remake, right?
I believe so, yeah. I'm pretty sure it was.
This isn't the original one withthat Michael Jackson song, is it

(53:50):
from that Ben? No.
I think it is Ben's the rat. Well, Ben was Michael Jackson's
rat. Yeah, it's from that movie.
Oh yeah, maybe. He had that show on like The
History Channel for a while. I think I probably went over it.

(54:10):
Oh. Just like something with Arlie
Ermey with. Something male.
Oh yeah, yeah. Mail call.
Mail call. Yeah, I watched a lot of that.
Same here. That was when, like, The History
Channel actually had history, Yeah, Not just UFOs and shit all
the time, yeah. Which is also cool, but like I

(54:30):
don't want that. Yeah, when you just watch all of
World War 2 on The History Channel.
Yeah. He's in an episode of The
X-Files 95. He's a dead man walking in 95
with Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon.
Seven, Yeah. Seven.
Yeah, 1995, dude. The Big 95.

(54:52):
Toy Story is also 95. The Toy Story franchise is 30
years. Fuck you.
Fuck. Yeah.
That's not OK. That's gross, yeah.
I don't like to think about that.

(55:17):
Anyway, it was an episode of Tales from the Crypt in 1994.
I do not remember this episode. Stared in horror.
It's called and stares. And then you step on fugitive
Clyde's on the Lamb from an angry mob.
He seeks refuge in a decrepit old mansion owned by an elderly

(55:40):
woman. Unbeknownst to Clyde, House has
a curse attached. Well, God damn.
Motherfucker directed by Steven Hopkins.
Didn't he direct the Mummy? Yes.
No, no. Directed oh, Nightmare on Elm
Street. We talked about him recently.
I think Nightmare on Elm Street Three Predator 2 there was

(56:02):
something else he directed, I think, that we reviewed
recently. Oh yeah, you're right.
What the fuck was it? Now I have to look.
Oh, that's not even Director Goddamn it.
The fuck was it? Oh, was it Jaws?

(56:28):
No Ghost in the darkness. Oh we should do that movie in
honor of Val Kilmer did 3 episodes of Tales from the
Crypt. What the?
It just came up recently. Couldn't have been Predator 2.
No, what the fuck was it? This is driving me crazy.

(56:55):
I want to say it was like in thepast couple of weeks.
I don't know. It's not here anyway.
She an actor in anything. Maybe.
I don't think so. Yeah, nothing producer or.
Was that what we were just looking at that?
Might have been what we were looking at.

(57:18):
It doesn't show anything. Anyway, we're going to move on,
I think. Oh yeah, let's go back to where
we were actually the Dark Tower.Now I'm like, I know we just
talked about this dude. Yeah, anyway.
Well, shit. We're still in Harley Ermy.

(57:38):
He's in Full Metal Jack, you know who he is.
He's in The Frighteners too, which is another awesome movie
which we haven't done yet, surprisingly.
Yeah, that's right. David Dorfman.
He was, yeah, a little kid. He is the little kid from The
Ring and The Ring 20. Yeah.

(58:00):
Aiden, I think he's Naomi Watts,his kid.
Isn't that who's in those movies?
Yeah, I don't know. I I saw the ring once.
Yeah, he's also in Galaxy Quest,has an uncredited role.
That's a great movie. Yeah, which is 26 years old.
Shut up, what the fuck are you doing?
Gross. Come on down, AL's toy barn.

(58:30):
Jesus, TJ, if you subscribe to us you wouldn't get ads.
Just saying. $5 a month, or it'sfree if you're an Amazon Prime
member. Yeah, every Prime member gets
one free Twitch subscription. We're.
Going to move on. Lauren German was in this movie.
I saved her because she's the like, one of the main characters

(58:51):
in Hostile Part 2. Speaking of torture porn.
I didn't see the second one. I saw the first one a lot.
Second one I think is a little bit better.
Really. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, the second one is good. I saw the.
I didn't even realize there was a third one and it's terrible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean that plot really only

(59:17):
kind of. When you go to subscribe, go to
the bottom and it's one of the there's like a little check box
that says use Prime subscriptionand you can yeah, it'll you
subscribe for free. Who are we talking about?
Fucking Lauren German? Oh yeah, she's in the she's one
of the main characters in hostile too.
She's the girl who's not HeatherMatarazzo or Bijou Phillips.

(59:43):
What a weird fucking name. The Phillips's were not exactly
a conventional family. I don't know if you've read or
heard about any of the Yeah, I mean, Mackenzie and her dad had
some interesting things going on.
Speaking of sex, love and secrets, that was a movie ATV

(01:00:04):
show she was in in 2005. Trauma.
She was also in 7th Heaven for one episode.
Like I'm done here. You know some freaky shit on
this show. I'm out of here.

(01:00:24):
John Larriquette is the narratorat the end of this movie.
I think if you make a Texas Chainsaw Massacre film, you are
contractually obligated to hire John Larroquette.
I mean it was iconic in the first one.
Yeah, yeah, he's even in the Shitty 1 from 2020.
Oh my God 4.7 is high. High.

(01:00:45):
That should be like .7. That movie was Garbaggio.
Ass toilet ass. Fuck is there 43 episodes of
Night Court already? The new one, I feel like it just
came out, but he's on 43 episodes of that and probably
still counting. Using the Twilight Zone reboot.

(01:01:07):
Murphy Brown, John Mayer, Cat. Like, you know John Mayer,
you've seen him on something. He was big in the 80s.
He did Azuzu commercials in the 80s.
Not that that's a car brand. Anymore it's Christ.
Yeah. Yeah, he was.
He was one of the, like, mainstay sitcom guys.
Yeah. Yeah, he was like a go to sitcom

(01:01:27):
guy, some 2 episodes of Chuck, an episode of Parks and Rec.
He's done a whole series of TV movies that I've never heard of.
This McBride series. McBride Dog.
I remember those coming out. What?
Where did they come out like? I want to see there was like an

(01:01:49):
ABC thing. There's a click.
On that shit load of them, yeah,it's probably got to say
somewhere. I.
Don't know. 6.7. Let me let me do a quick Google

(01:02:10):
because now I'm curious. Yeah, I, I've never heard of
them until now. I'm like, I'm going through his
credits and it's like McBride, McBride, McBride.
Yeah. McBride.
Sorry. McBride, Dogged McBride.
Semper Fi, McBride Requiem. Falling.

(01:02:32):
On OK, it wasn't too far off, but it was the Hallmark Channel.
That's why I've never. Heard there's it's a series of
10 made for TV movie films. They're they're mysteries.
Yeah, OK. Fucking ten of them though.
That's a fucking pretty sure I can get a 10 episode commitment

(01:02:52):
on the Hallmark Channel. Movies and movies.
Come on, it's not that hard. Fucking all.
We could do it. They show they show how?
How many reruns of 7th Heaven? Yeah, it will make a big dumb
monster Christmas. It'll be fucking charming and
you know. Quaint needs to be quaint, Yeah.
Can we do quaint? We'll run a a store in a country
town selling, you know, horror merchandise.

(01:03:14):
Hell yeah. And then the the the the person
who used to live here and left for the big city then comes
back. Yeah, we help them fall in love
with their ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever you know.
And then boom, two hours. Hallmark Channel.
Where's our fucking check? I'd do it.

(01:03:35):
He was in Tales from the Crypt Demon night in an added excuse
me, uncredited role. Not unedited.
Sure it was edited. He was on sitcom for a while.
John there at cat show, 84 episodes.
He's in 193 episodes of Night Court, the original 1.
God damn. Yeah, yeah, he was in JFK.

(01:03:57):
Blind Date with Bruce Willis andKim Basinger.
Remington Steel Meatballs, Part 2.
Star Trek 3, The Search for Spock, The 80s, Twilight Zone,
Dallas, Cat People, Mork and Mindy Stripes, Altered States.
Stripes is amazing but. I haven't seen that in a long

(01:04:18):
time. Got my ass kicked in Wisconsin
once. Last but not least, Scott Martin
Gershon, This dude has done a lot of voice work.
He's only got 9 credits, but he's did Kaiju sound effects in
Pacific Rim was the voice, you know, the sound effects for her

(01:04:41):
being fully loaded. He was the Leatherface voice in
this. He was the voice of Tarzan in
the Disney one in 99. So the voice of Flubber in 1997.
Flubber had a voice. Huh.
Yeah, Flubber had a McDonald's tie and I remember when I worked
there at the time and that we'lldo it for the better.

(01:05:04):
Known as who, Yeah. That was stout.
What's going down? We went and saw the Minecraft

(01:05:24):
movie. Oh yeah, yeah.
How was that? It's.
It's a movie. It's the thing I went into my
Iols. What's his name?
Jared Hess. Who the fuck is?
Jared Hess, the Is that Jared Hess the director, the guy who
did Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre?

(01:05:46):
It's definitely one of his movies.
Oh it. Sounds like weird quirky comedy.
Yeah, it's like it's very unhinged.
It's not bad bad, I'm just I'm not the audience for it.
Yeah, yeah. It seems like every dude I know
with a child had to go see this movie on Saturday.

(01:06:09):
Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, and that's the
thing, like if I was into Minecraft, like, I'm sure I
would have found like a lot of it more appealing.
Minecraft is not my game. Yeah, like my kids love it.
My kids love it. They watch like all the YouTube
people who, like, do crazy shit in Minecraft.
So like, there's a lot of references, like they they got

(01:06:30):
all that shit. But like there was there was
just a like a goofy quaint comedy there for me.
Like I know. I'm not going to lie, I don't
enjoy Jack Black. I realize that's like the most
sacrilegious thing anybody can say.
It's fine. Like he seems like the best

(01:06:51):
dude. Yeah, I'm sure he's a great guy.
Like, yeah, it's just. I like a lot of his work.
I don't love all of his work. Yeah.
Let me guess, Oh, he's in a new movie.
Does he play a like an over the top loud guy, but he with a
heart of gold? And let me guess, does he, you
know, bust into a song every nowand again and talk about how
much he loves rocking out? Yeah.

(01:07:11):
Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would love to see him do something different for real.
And I'm sure he does, like, somewhere in his filmography.
But, like, where is it? They're like, 'cause I'm tired
of this. Yeah.
Like, this was charming for a long time.
I. I'm over it.

(01:07:32):
Yeah, I I ran into him once. AI had no fucking clue it was
Jack Black and B he complimentedme on my T-shirt was wearing AT
shirt. It was the cover of a Hulk 172,
the first Wolverine appearance. And yeah, he just walks by me.
I'm like, it's this weird littledude with a fucking scrubby

(01:07:54):
beard. He's he was wearing his coat
with just the hood on his head and like, not the sleeves in
like a child would. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he walks like, oh, nice T-shirt, like, oh, hey, cool,
thanks. And like, I hear him talking to
his kid later on. I'm like, that's fucking Jack.
Black, Yeah, 'cause he probably.Went same thing with Amanda.
Was talking to him and the kid. Yeah.

(01:08:15):
No fucking clue. Yeah.
Yeah, yes, the the, the, the autism.
Adults in the theater. Autism.
Something's in adults. The autism in the theater was
palpable. And like, like, you could tell

(01:08:38):
like, a lot of these kids, like,don't go out much.
They just play Minecraft. They.
Just play Minecraft because likea thing would happen and they
would all like scream and like clap and I'm like, OK, like,
cool. Like the this is not like a
serious piece of cinema where like if somebody's doing that,
I'm like pissed off, right? So like, OK, have your moment,

(01:09:02):
It's fun for you. But like the people who are just
like talking through the entire thing, like calling out
references and whatever. I'm like, guys, this is like.
Stop. Shut up, shut.
Up for a minute. I saw something recently and
like the dude down the road withme just was just having an open

(01:09:24):
conversation through the whole movie with his, you know, with
his fiance or wife or girlfriendor whatever like.
Yeah. Hey dude, shut the fuck up.
There are social norms. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't talk in a movie. Yeah, just you just don't do it.
But yeah, like, no, the the movie is what it is.

(01:09:44):
It's for fans of the franchise because it has like a lot of
that kind of goofy shit that like all the Youtubers who make
Minecraft videos do. So like it's, it's something to
get excited about seeing on the big screen.
If that's your thing. It's not my thing.
The kids loved it though. So like that, that's got to

(01:10:07):
count for something like it's for them, so.
They love it. Yeah.
Again, thank you to everybody who came out and saw us Saturday
at Adirondack Retro Nerd Fest, including Boots.
Boots came out and stopped by. Oh, no shit.
Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I missed that.

(01:10:28):
Oh fuck, I forgot the guy's name.
Art gave him a shout out on regrettable reviews on Saturday
night. The artist who was set up next
to us. Yeah.
Who offered to make some buttonsfor us at cost.
Really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's. Rad Yeah.
Did you guys get a card? Yeah, Art's got it.
Yeah, good Lord. But that was a good time.

(01:10:52):
Yeah, yeah, definitely. I will be back next year if
they, if they'll have us thoughtthat we did anything to piss
them off. Yeah, we were in our best
behaviour for once. Unlike it's Saratoga Comic Con
in a couple of weeks. Where?
We will not be on our best behaviour.
Actually we will. We will be on our best
behaviour. We are not a problem.

(01:11:13):
We're just. Yeah, we can.
We can. We can.
We're just high, Jinxy. Exactly.
Yeah. Yeah.
I did not go to the movies this week, which hasn't happened for
a while. I was going to go Friday night
and then just got tired. Well, actually what happened was
I realized I loaded up the car with all the shit I needed for
Saturday and I'm like, I either have to leave all this shit in

(01:11:34):
the car when I go to the movies or just unpack and then repack
and I'm not doing either of those.
No. Hey TJ, figure figured out how
to subscribe. Nice.
No more ads for you. Welcome.
Welcome. What else?

(01:11:54):
Yeah. Retro Nerd Fest was fun.
Yeah, they definitely DJ Ed the shit out of it.
I think we talked about that on on Drunk and Disorderly.
Thanks to everybody who tuned into that too, because that was
definitely drunk and definitely disorderly.
Yeah, let's see, what have I done?

(01:12:17):
Oh, I just resubscribed as well.I, oh, we, we got caught up on
the pit, which is fucking amazing if you're you're not
watching the pit. We love you too.

(01:12:41):
I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk.
Definitely special needs. Did you see?
What part I I argued against caught up on righteous
gemstones? Yes, we just watched the newest
episode before the show earlier.Oh my God I love that fucking
show. The end of last week's episode

(01:13:03):
was so like spoilers. John Goodwin and Megan Mullally,
60, Nining. Where was your nose, Daddy?
Oh, that show is so great. And Walton Goggins just it was

(01:13:24):
definitely like his fate, his head, like compete on a, you
know, like transposed onto somebody else's body, but just
naked water skiing in the beginning.
Yeah. Dong out.
Yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot of Dong in that show, like
a, like an inordinate amount of Dick.

(01:13:47):
Matlock came back this week. I haven't caught up though.
I haven't watched the newest one.
Oh, I haven't either. Yeah, yeah, White Lotus,
Speaking of Walton, Goggins wrapped up this week, which was
awesome. He was awesome in that too, of
course. We started watching vice
principals. Oh yeah, yeah, I dig that one.
That was good. It's not.

(01:14:08):
It's not as good as gemstones. Yeah, yeah, for sure a gemstone.
I think Gemstones is the best out of all the shows he's done.
Yeah, yeah. I finished watching that show
Paradise this week. Yeah, that was definitely pretty
good. I'd I recommend that one.
Did it stay good? Yes.

(01:14:29):
Was it like 8 episodes? Yeah, yeah, in and out.
So yeah, I I recommend it. Yeah, 'cause I don't have a
Bingy show other than Vice Principals and I'm like sort of
falling out of love with it as Igo this.
Is only like two or three seasons.
It's pretty short if I. Remember.
I think so, yeah. Yeah, I finished that this week.

(01:14:54):
Walton Goggins was awesome in White Lotus.
Yeah, he's awesome in everything.
Yeah, like. Pretty much, yeah.
What is he not awesome in? I can't think of anything.
Did you watch Fallout? Yes, he's awesome in that.
There you go. Did I watch any movies here this
week? I don't even think I watched any

(01:15:14):
movies here. That's fucking rare too.
Wow. I've started reading that new
book, the Artie Lang book, whichis really fucking good.
He talks like the first chapter he's talking about when he did
Carnegie Hall. Like it was when like he's at
the height of his fame. He's like, this is like, this is

(01:15:35):
the moment. I know that, like, shit got out
of control for me. He's like, I had two bags of
heroin in my pocket the whole time I was on stage.
He's like the whole night. I was like, I'm playing Carnegie
Hall. Like, you know, the, the, the,
the biggest thing you could possibly do as a comic, He's
like the whole night, the only thing I could think about was

(01:15:55):
the 2 bags of coke of heroin in my pocket.
I just wanted to get back to my hotel to do them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's fucking, it's funny, but
it's also like, holy shit. Oh, a friend of mine at work was
telling me the bondsman is like really good.
Yeah, yeah, Michelle was saying that earlier.
I, I, I was almost started it like yesterday and then again

(01:16:15):
today and I just didn't get to it.
But I yeah, I do want to watch that.
He said his like only real criticism is that like half hour
episodes don't really do it justice and.
It's a bummer. And it's got to be like, like,
do you know the premise? He was like, he, he's like
released from hell or something,Like he's working for the devil
or something like that. He's.
Basically, like I haven't watched it, but the the gist I

(01:16:38):
get is he's basically a bounty hunter for hell and he's going
to kill demons or whatever, but like they set it up so he's like
he gets one every episode. Yeah, he's like.
Monster of the Week. Yeah, he could have, like,
spaced it out a little bit, but I mean, it's Kevin Bacon, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Just just watch it.

(01:17:04):
Anything else? Man played the shit out of more
Call of Duty. I played Call of Duty for like a
good two or three hours today. Nice.
Which doesn't seem like a whole lot, but like as an adult with
like a busy ass life, like that's a long time to play video
games. Yeah, it is.
How the hell did you squeeze that in?
I didn't go to work today. Oh, it was a sick day.

(01:17:24):
Oh, I see. Yeah, caught up on a oh, I read
some they released more of the absolute line for DC.
Yeah, they did a Green Lantern, right?
They did the Green Lantern, I think maybe just came out this
week or is about to come out, which I do want to read.
They released the flash and theyreleased Martian Manhunter.

(01:17:47):
Flash was all right. I like I I was expecting that to
be a lot better. It was just like.
Definitely not one of my favourites.
Yeah, like not much happened in the first issue.
Like, it was good, but I just need something to happen.
Yeah, Martian Manhunter, on the other hand, fucking mind
blowing. Yeah, yeah, it's really good.
God damn. He doesn't know he's a Martian.

(01:18:12):
What? Yeah.
He like he's a, he's, you know, it's, he's like an FBI agent.
And like, he like, shit starts going like something happens.
I forget what happens exactly. Like he gets shot or something.
And then like after that, like, shit starts getting weird for
him. Like he starts by the end of the
fucking issue. Like he sees like emotions as

(01:18:35):
like smoke coming off of people.Like they're different colors.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, he like the smoke just
like automatically like filters into his fucking nose.
He can't avoid it. And like, it's starting to freak
him out because like, he doesn'tknow what the fuck is happening.
Like, it's really, really good. Yeah, yeah.
I, I, I did not think I was going to enjoy that as much as I

(01:18:55):
did. Like, it's going to really cool,
like retro art style, like lookslike 60s ish.
Like really really recommend it.Yeah, yeah.
I mean, the Martian Manhunter has always been like an
interesting character. Yeah, really.
I don't think anybody really does too much with him.
Yeah, exactly. He's like, he's basically like
a, he's a Martian mash up of like Superman and Batman.

(01:19:18):
Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Who can?
Yeah. Like, change shape and breed
people's minds. Yeah.
Yeah. But yeah, I definitely recommend
that one. Caught up on Batman, Superman
and Wonder Woman. Oh, I bought the I bought the

(01:19:39):
first five issues of Creature Commandos.
I haven't read them yet, but yeah, the David Desmelchen
written one. Yeah, yeah, those are, those are
on my desk over there. I got to read.
Those they can't be bad. The dudes are creative.
So I mean like. He writes another comic.
I think it's like, called something Mr. Crowley or like
something Crowley. Yeah, it yeah.
It's a shit I can't remember. He's like an evil magician or

(01:20:03):
something like. That no, it's a, it's a woman
who is a like a horror host and she like just like goes out and
slays creatures of the night andshit.
All right, all right. Yeah.
Yeah. TJ hates the absolute Superman.
I dig it. I'm digging it.
I will say it's probable. The Flash is probably my least

(01:20:25):
favorite at this point. Yeah.
The next being Superman. Wonder Woman and Batman are
fucking awesome though. Are they?
Yeah. Are they all tying into each
other? Not yet, but I think they're
going to culminate in a in ultimate absolute, like a, you
know, Justice League. I hate that shit.
But you don't have to read 1 to understand what's going on in
the others, Yeah? Yeah, until until they merge.

(01:20:47):
Until you have to, yeah. Yeah, that's why I can't do, I
can't do superhero comics anymore.
Like I'm so far out of the loop on all this shit.
Yeah. Like I haven't paid attention to
anything since like 52. 52 was so fucking good though.
That was a good series, that. Was so good even the concept of

(01:21:10):
it a fucking a comic a week. It touches on like all parts of
the universe like except the main ones that everybody knows
like. God, I want to read that again.
Yeah, yeah, that was cool. It was so good.
It put all the shit that happened after that was.
Once they do another yeah, we'regoing to do it again.

(01:21:30):
Like, oh, that's that's what broke me.
I'm like no fuck you, you just got me to buy 52 fucking issues
of a series weekly. Yeah, thankfully they were
$2.50. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now they're what, $6 a fucking comic?
Yeah, I think it's like, I thinkit's 5 bucks.
I've been paying for the absolute ones.

(01:21:52):
Boots. Welcome back, brother.
I just gave you a shout out a little while ago and you missed
it. I was saying thanks for coming
to the the show the other day. Yeah, I do like the like it was
a small show, but I really like the setup.
Like the the vendors were all inthe center.
So we had a big area like just in the an empty area in the

(01:22:14):
middle of all the tables, reallykind of spread out.
Yeah, that was nice. Turn around and shoot the shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, yeah, the free
video games and pinball machines, yeah.
That's sick. Yeah, yeah.
That's sick. Hey, watch what's happening joke

(01:22:34):
deep cut. I like it.
Next we're going to be dropping some rerun jokes in here.
No, we're not. No, we're not.
We're not all that old. I'm trying to think of anything
else. Any horror news?

(01:22:58):
Universally opened up the monster.
Yeah, Dark Universe, I can't wait to go to that.
Yeah, I think we're supposed to go for Christmas.
Absolutely down. Bring me back a castle or
something like that please. Whatever, man.
Fucking yeah I will. I will bring you back a piece of
the castle fucking so we can have it on set like, you know,

(01:23:20):
display. Fuck yeah.
Down for that. Travel Long Island's cradle con
Hey look, fucking give me the info.
Cradle con? Never heard of it.
I don't know, sounds weird. Yeah, that could be a joke that
I'm leaning into inappropriately.
Yeah, You ready to call it a night?

(01:23:44):
I'm trying to think am I are? You.
Probably I'm having too much fun.
Yeah, I don't know. But before we go, anybody want
to hear us talk about anything? Any topics to bring up?
Otherwise we'll get the fuck out.
Yeah, balls in your court. Balls.

(01:24:06):
Balls. Rerun jokes.
Oh, the Mummy comic came out thefirst issue with that.
Oh yeah. I'm not off board.
I'm not crazy about the art style.
Yeah, I kind of like where the story's going.
It seems to be the setup of likewhat happens like when they

(01:24:29):
originally found Emo Tap. Like so if I remember the movie,
it takes place all like in the museum when they just display
them and like the movie The the comics like what happens when
they when they're digging them up?
No, in the in the movie they they were digging them up I
think. All right, so it it happens like
before the events of the movie, then yeah, I think it's like

(01:24:52):
1918 or 1912 or something like that.
Yeah, I mean that can be fun. Yeah, like I said, I I'm not off
it. I just like the artwork is not
my fucking jam. Not that it's bad, it's just not
my not my style. It doesn't match like it doesn't
match horror like artwork. The tone isn't right.

(01:25:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's too like, I don't want to say cutesy, but it
is like it's very like a light tone for like a horror comic.
Yeah. Anyway, just my personal right,
not getting, not that it's bad or anything, it's very good.
I just it's not. For me, yeah, it just doesn't
fit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right. Oh, wait, There are things we

(01:25:34):
just probably they were they they TJ they have a revenge of
the nerds reunion like several times a year.
It's like the warriors. Those guys are always reuniting
fucking they're never not together.
It's. Just we we haven't reunited in
New Hampshire yet. Yeah, you know how many Warriors
reunions I've been to over the? Years I've been to one.

(01:25:55):
Yeah, I've been to one. It was Chiller Theatre Con.
I would like to do a fucking panel with the guys from the
nerds. Yeah, that could be rad, but I.
Don't know. Anyway, yeah, I think we're
going to get the hell out. Speaking of panels, what you

(01:26:17):
should probably come check us out in a couple weeks at
Saratoga Comic Con. We're going to be doing the Red
Dead Redemption Voice Actors Panel I.
Have to do research. Yeah, that's going to be fun.
I can't wait for that. That is going to be Saturday
afternoon, probably like 2:00. That's when I'm usually, well,
we're going to be on this time, but that's when I'm we're
usually on. And then at 6:00 PM, all hell is

(01:26:42):
going to break loose. I am so, so excited.
We are going to be doing the second ever Big Dumb Monsters
Trivia tournament. It's going to be dumb.
Yeah, yeah, it's. Going to be big and dumb.
Yeah, I got to buy more prizes. We have like some prizes.

(01:27:02):
I got to buy more. You'll have some stuff.
You'll have some stuff. I I should ask Sam if I can get
like a certificate or something for one of the next shows.
Oh. It'd be cool.
Yeah, yeah. Big drunks.
Yeah, that's boots. You nailed it.
Yeah, you. Ain't wrong.
You ain't wrong. We are staying in the hotel so

(01:27:26):
it's going to be fucking any who.
Just stay with me here, right? Like.
We just have to be coherent until about 6:15.
Yeah. You know, the end of the panel
can go all sorts of crazy. The one thing we have to do,
because I have complained so much over the years, we have to

(01:27:48):
make sure that stage is spotlesswhen we get off of it.
Yeah. 100%. For all the bitching I have done
over the years about people leaving a mess.
Stage is so fucking dirty, left shit all over the fucking floor.
No matter how drunk I am, I willclean that fucking stage.

(01:28:10):
Yeah, Jesus Christ, TJ, hitting you guys with the fucking links
so you can get us out of here. Faster exactly, thank you Doing
arts job. Well, we'll do it.
A Thunder penis plus 20% tariff,I love it.
But that's going to be May 3rd and 4th at the Saratoga City

(01:28:31):
Center. We will be at Mid Hudson Comic
Con in August. That is August 2nd and 3rd, I
believe the same weekend we'll be at Tampa Bay Comic Con.
More to come on both of those events as we learn them might

(01:28:53):
have one or two popping up in between now and then.
Also we're working on some stuff.
Yeah, we do be cooking. Exactly.
And then you'll find us again inNovember at Saratoga right
before Thanksgiving. You can.
Where hopefully we'll be doing it all over again.
Yeah, a link to their merch store.
Exactly. Yes.

(01:29:13):
Yeah, We'll, we'll do the pro, the plugs.
Yeah, we'll do the plugs. Yeah, we will.
Our website is www.bigdumbmonsters.com.
You can e-mail us if you have suggestions for the show.
Movies we should watch, beer we should drink.

(01:29:34):
You think you can come up with asegment or something to change
the show and make it more entertaining?
We're all ears. Like we want to hear from you.
Or if you want to work with us, you want us to host something
for you or collab on something we're we're open to ideas our.
Services are available for [e-mail] You

(01:29:55):
can find us on Slasher, the all horror social network.
We're Big Dumb Monsters podcast and you can find us on Steam.
We are big dumb monsters. Yeah, it's just big dumb
monsters. Sure, Yeah, yeah.
We don't log in very often, but you know, it's, it's possible.
Anything can happen. Shit can happen at us.
It's fine. You can check us out on

(01:30:17):
Instagram and Threads at Big under score Dumb under score
Monsters. You should check out the show
when it streams live. It is truly the best experience
for enjoying our less than soberantics every Monday night at
7:30 on Twitch and YouTube at Big Dumb Monsters.

(01:30:39):
On both of those platforms. You should also check out our
merch store at T Public. You can go to tpublic.com and
search for the Big Dumb Monstersstore.
Yep. And that's it.
That is it. We're going to give you guys
some words of wisdom and we're going to get the fuck out of
here. We are.

(01:31:00):
Don't let ghoulies eat your ass.And never sleep in a deathbed.
Bye. Fuck, it's me again.
Yeah, hit that button. Motherfucker.
God damn it, Art.