Ep. 208 - Monkeys and Machine Guns - Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Nick and Chris find out how bananas the help gets when you stomp down the boot of oppression on a race of enslaved primates! We're watching 1972;s Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Starring Roddy McDowall.

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Episode Transcript

(00:41):
Welcome everybody to big dumb monsters.
I'm Chris. I'm Nick.
And this week we are watching Conquest of the Planet of the
Apes. We took a little jump in the
series. We went from one to four.
Yeah, it's on you guys to keep up, isn't it?
Threw me for a loop. But this is truly one of my
favorite entries in this film series.

(01:02):
I, I do, I do love this. It is a very weird, very dark
movie. You're going to hear us.
Drastically different from the rest of them.
Yeah, for sure, for sure. Local fireworks guy.
You'll hear us and Donner curse the local fireworks guy several

(01:26):
times throughout the episode, but because he does, in fact,
suck. He's awful.
Yeah, yeah, it is June 30th for the record, not July 4th.
And yeah, whatever. So we're going to get on to the
actual episode so we can stop recording the dog barking.

(01:46):
Yeah, it's bad. This is just bad.
Yeah. He's losing his mind.
Yeah, Yeah, it's fine. There's a little bit of Donner
in the episode, but that's actually not that bad.
Yeah. We we both like this movie.
Yeah, it's it's one of those ones where I was a little, I was
a little hesitant to like it because of just like the way

(02:09):
it's presented. But it's fine.
It's a good movie, all right. All right, so here we go.
We're going to talk about conquest of the Planet of the
Apes here on Big Dumb Monsters. Enjoy the show.

(02:59):
And there we are. All right, small, small
technical glitch. See.
Oh, now you can mute the focus right one, because otherwise
it's going to be. Yeah, we're going to sound like
a Phil Spector record. Otherwise, hell yeah.
Worst Ramones record. I said it.
What's up everybody? It's Monday night.

(03:21):
It is 7:45 or shortly thereafteranyway.
I do like the way my shirt is glowing in this light though.
Oh, I can turn that down while we're, while we're intro US,
take us away. Oh shit.
Hey guys, we watched a weird assmonkey movie today.
I, I why why did you jump to thethe was this the 4th, 5th, 4th?

(03:45):
Yeah, I like this one. Why didn't we watch?
Why didn't we watch the second one?
We don't do things in order here.
Sometimes we do. Sometimes we do.
Yeah. I really like this one.
This one is like probably my second favorite after the first
one. Really.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's. Kind of a mess.
It is, but I I like like there is just some terror.
Like the last 30 minutes of thismovie is fucking awesome.

(04:07):
Like it is like terrifying. Like it is fucking cool.
I'll give you that it's rad in in moments, but also.
Up to 100%. That's why it's so like off
putting. Yeah, that's much better.
I I maybe have seen some of the other Planet of the Apes movies.

(04:29):
I definitely saw the first one. We did it here.
I don't know the last time I sawany of the other ones.
So I've watched the first one. Don't remember any of it.
I. Saw this one.
I watched a bunch of the show when I was a kid.
I know that for for sure, but like I am I I guess it sets you

(04:52):
up to kind of know what has happened.
But like Cornelius and Zira in one of the previous movies, I
assumed the movie right before this one.
The. Third one escaped from the
Planet of the Apes came. Back to 1991 or no?
Came back to 1970. 171 yeah, yeah.

(05:14):
And then Zero had Caesar. And this is Caesar's origin
story. Correct.
Got it. OK.
Kind of confusing. It's it's a monkey bone in Laura
that you have to be up on. But I mean, they, they, they
tell you. But like, if you don't know who

(05:34):
Cornelius and Zero are, you're gonna be kind of lost from the
jump. Yeah.
Yeah. And like, why did they, why did
they come back? You know, like I that's not
really explained too much, but. It is the reverse of basically
Planet of the Apes. They basically salvage love him

(05:56):
to death. Yeah, yeah.
Hey buddy, they salvage the spaceship from the first.
Oh yes. Salvage the spaceship from the
first one and like as they are taking off it is as the end of
the second movie is taking placewhere the planet blows up.

(06:19):
So they're like, as they're taking off, they just see the
planet explode and then like. Very Krypton.
Yeah, very. Yeah, exactly.
And then like you know how Taylor went to the future,
somehow they end up going back to the past, to the to the
modern day. Awful.
This dog's got to go inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bubba, come on, we're going to go.
Inside oh producer extraordinarystep and care of.

(06:40):
It Bubba, Come on, we go inside.No wrong way.
No, we go find mommy. Go find Mommy upstairs.
Yeah, we go find Mommy. Yes, Donner Donner's upset that
all the dogs and cats were killed.
Yeah, it is his least favorite part of these movies.

(07:01):
There he goes. Hopefully I hear jingling in
that direction. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dark lows, dark lows, dark lows.Oh, he's chilling all right.
We're good. Yeah.
This is kind of a bummer. Like, like, first, like 10
minutes of the movie. Oh, by the way, all the cats and

(07:23):
dogs died. Yeah.
The, the like, I don't have a problem like thematically with
this movie. I understand it's, you know,
it's supposed to be mirroring the civil rights movement and,

(07:43):
you know, fascism and you. Know why would this be on my
mind right now, right? Yeah.
Oh wow, authoritarians in black leather who don't like these
people who are different. From.
Them. How about that it's?
Very on the nose, you know what I mean?

(08:03):
Like, I, I am totally OK with watching a movie that has, you
know, a message in it and that mirrors something else.
But like, be more creative, hideit a little bit.
Like make it so it's not beatingyou over the head to where like
you're more focused on the the symbolism of everything in the

(08:28):
movie. And you are being entertained by
a good story, yeah. Like I, I should be able to
watch this movie and go like, this is a great movie because
it's a cool science fiction movie about like, like this
weird transitional period for Planet of the Apes.
Not this is a crazy ass movie about civil rights and fascism.

(08:54):
Because like, when that becomes the focus, you're taking away
from it being a movie and it's amessage.
Like, I'm totally fine with the movie having a message, you
know? Like it's just be creative in
the way you tell it. Gotta start working for Doge's
big balls. I love that this place this

(09:16):
takes place at night local. Fireworks guy still a douche?
Yeah, yeah. But every 15 minutes for the
past two hours or so, there's just been a giant explosion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
Yeah, America on a Monday. Save it for the weekend.
Blow them up all weekend. I don't care.
We're in the middle of the week.Think it started like Saturday.

(09:38):
Yeah. Yeah.
Terrible. I think the reason I like this
movie so much is because my favorite part of any zombie
movie is like the breakdown of society.
Yeah. And like, that's all this movie
is, is just the complete breakdown.
You're. Watching the breakdown happen,
yeah, yeah. And it's slow and it doesn't
seem sinister at first, but by the time you realize what's

(10:01):
happening, it's out of control. Yeah.
Like they, you know, there's a couple like, whoa, we got this
like increased report of like, you know, monkey like
disobedience like, yeah, that's weird like.
Yeah, by the time they got that report, they have an underground
system. Caesar's already has like a,
like a. He's basically running like a
Goodfellas operation out of the the basement of the Century

(10:21):
City. Mall.
I think my favorite, my favoritefucking part was when the one
brings in the little tiny strainer and he's like Oh yeah,
good job. And he looks off the settings.
What the fuck? Froze it.
But like, it is a brilliant planwhen you think about it,
because, like, they're serving all these rich people.
They're not going to notice if like, you know, he adds 100

(10:42):
rounds of ammunition to the gun order.
Like they're not going to noticeanything, you know, like 10
bucks, 20 bucks maybe at the time, like for that much ammo,
probably, probably that much now, like, you know, so yeah,
like they're they're stocking arms, they're stocking weapons,
like just doing it right under all of their noses.
Like, yeah, I fucking. I just love that whole like

(11:02):
theme And just all of that is just what I think, what really
drives me to this movie. Yeah, it's, it's like it's
taking a little bit from The Great Escape, you know, and,
and, and adding its own twist onit.
Like I, I like the movie, right.Like I, I like what's happening.

(11:24):
You know, watching Caesar go from this like kind of timid
creature to being this like revolutionary leader is a fun
story arc. I like it.
And then watching, you know, the, the shitty humans get their
comeuppance. I like it, but it's, I don't, I

(11:46):
don't know, man. Like it's, it's, it just mirrors
our reality too closely. It's a little too close to home.
You know what I mean? Like you basically have you have
a civil rights movie just in theguise of.
A sci-fi. A sci-fi monkey movie, but like,

(12:08):
there's not really any sci-fi init, which I was.
It's kind of let down by. Yeah, it is all the only sci-fi
is that they're. It's all politics.
Yeah, there's one advanced monkey.
Yeah. And then at the end, we have
them learning to like, evolve. Basically.
You have, what's her name? Lisa.
Yeah. Yeah.
She's the one who, like, learns to speak at the end.
Yeah, it is. I think it's another thing I

(12:31):
love about it. It's such a fucking weird entry
in these movies after arguably even the weirdest entry in the
movie in these movies escaped from the Planet of the Apes,
Yeah, Which Dana Gould calls a an episode of love American
style with monkeys in it, basically like.
Oh, that's how you know T JS in the chat, yeah.

(12:54):
Oh, there's a big paragraph. Oh, shit.
All right, I got this. OK.
But what gets me is that 18 years earlier, the whole world
knew that there were talking apes from the future who told
them humans enslaved apes, and apes took over.
When the dogs and cats die, the government starts enslaving
apes. Well, yeah, because they're
trying to. Keep them under control.
Yeah, they're trying to stop that from happening.

(13:15):
Like, you know what? I couldn't stop thinking through
this whole fucking movie. Is that Caesar is basically John
Connor? Yeah.
Yeah. Is leader like from the future?
Yeah, yeah. It's so funny to think about how

(13:38):
like that fucking story parallels.
But there's also like, I don't, I don't know how much you follow
like like Hollywood, you know, show and tell kind of bullshit.
Apparently some lady, I I forgether name like that.
And that sounds like so fucking disrespectful.

(14:00):
Some lady wrote short stories ornovels that were basically
Terminator and the Matrix and they were supposed to be like
one universe. Yes.
I don't know when those came out, so I don't know if like
this maybe could have been a fucking inspiration for those
novels or the other way around. No the the.

(14:22):
But they fucking parallel so easy.
Yeah, I want to say that the Planet of the Apes novel came
out like in the 50s maybe. Yeah.
That's not this. Yeah, No, no.
Yeah. Huh.
I wonder. Yeah.
Oh man, if we can get Planet of the Apes work into that universe
that would be fucking. Terminator, Planet of the Apes,

(14:46):
and The Matrix all in one universe.
Best movie ever. It's got legs.
It's got legs. We could somehow get John Candy
in this movie. It's like a funny sidekick.
Like we can get him back for thedead for one movie.
Oh man, you know they're going to try for Spaceballs too.
I like a sidebar. I am not excited about

(15:10):
Spaceballs. There, I'm not.
I want to be. I want to be.
Yeah, like usually I'm the one who's like, no, it's going to be
good. New is nice.
Doesn't always mean bad. Yeah, no, this is going to be
bad. That's going to be bad.
Yeah, yeah, I don't like Josh Gad at all.
I think he's supposed to be likeBarf's son or no, there's
somebody taking over for barf like.

(15:30):
As barf. Yeah, somebody playing that
character. Fuck you immediately.
Yeah, yeah. Who would do that?
Who would go? I can do that.
Are you shitting me? You are not John Candy.
I don't care who the fuck you are.
You're not. John Candy, how bad you need
that paycheck. You just be like, I'm sorry, I
can't. Accept this.
That's hallowed ground, man. Yeah, I.

(15:51):
Literally was just about to say Josh Gad and then TJ just said
Josh Gad. Oh, he's the one doing barf.
I would assume he'd be the only one to like, actually do it.
I think he's supposed to be his son but no, it's another like
actor playing fucking John Candy's character.
Get all the way the fuck out of here.
Like, I mean, they have Bill Pullman's son playing Lone Star

(16:13):
son supposedly, which, OK, fine.Yeah, you can do that.
That's fine. But I, I don't, I just, I am.
This is like 30 years too late. Yeah, yeah.
Again, I fucking love Spaceballs.
Yeah, that's why I'm upset aboutthis movie.
Yeah, I think it was Arthur and I were talking about this.

(16:35):
Like how quickly do you think they go to the We Ain't Found
Shit joke? No, that was me and you last
week. Yeah, OK.
Yeah, 15 minutes I'm going to say is when they get to it.
Barf's son. What's his name?
Dry Eve. Thanks TI.
Can call it now. It's a low hanging fruit joke.
It's going to be Ralph. It's oh fuck yeah.

(16:55):
According to Google AI Spaceballs 2 Barf Junior, the
son of the original barf, is going to be played by Lewis
Pullman. What?
What? That's what it says.
Hey, eyes on Crack I. I will say that is clever
casting to play. Have Barf's son be played by

(17:16):
Lone Star's real life son. Yeah, alright, that's kind of
funny. But recasting barf, not funny.
No, I don't. I don't want that.
Disrespectful actually. Josh Gad, also not funny.
Josh Gad is apparently Co writing spaceball too.
Yeah, that I'm not hyped about. Yeah, I'm out.
Yeah. But anyway, back to this monkey

(17:38):
movie. Yeah, I like, I am not a huge
fan of the cinematography in this because there was so much
like shaky. It very much feels like ATV
movie, even though it isn't. Yeah, although the last one is,

(17:59):
which this director also directed.
Yeah. Cast was great.
I love the way everybody plays everything in this fucking
movie. Like they fucking Ricardo
Montalban is awesome. Like I don't give a shit.
The whole movie I'm just click speaking like Ricardo Ricardo
Montalban. I'm also quoting any of you ever

(18:21):
heard the the prank call that somebody made to George Takei
pretending to be Ricardo Montalban?
All right, we're going to look that up after this because it's
fucking hilarious. Like Jesus Christ.
Because he's talking to big. Guy, he's talking to him for
like 5 minutes or so. Oh.
Jesus. And like, it's at the end, he's
just like they get George Takei to say, like I do not believe

(18:42):
this is Ricardo Montalban. Like I keep saying that through
the whole movie. Like fucking that's.
Fucking great. Yeah, just the next one is ATV
movie. Yeah.
Oh, what the fuck is his name? The guy who played Caesar?
Roddy McDowell. Roddy McDowell.

(19:03):
Great, awesome, fucking awesome performance.
I like a lot of the like the like the hero ape makeup.
So good. Yeah, it's so good and it always
has been. Yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, like the like the foreground apes for sure.
Like, I love how, you know, you were saying before how like they
they take Caesar on this hero arc and he's like this timid

(19:28):
kind of, you know, being at first, but then in the last 30
seconds this movie, that motherfucker's ice cold.
Oh yeah, yeah, folk show. Yeah, he's straight.
Gangster. Hell yeah.
Fucking yeah. Just Yep.
Nope, we're all charged now. Because that's The thing is
right. Like so he he's seeing all of

(19:51):
this shit first hand, like he's not this like armchair
revolutionary. He's in the shit like he's
watching it happen. He's a part of it.
He's getting tortured. Like that's that's how you do a
a fucking hero, right? Like the guy that emerges above
all the shit that he's actually going through, not just like

(20:13):
man, that sucks for you. I.
I'm there for you, you know? Usually let's build a better
world. No, it's like, let's kill all of
these motherfuckers right now, right?
TJ said he saw this in the theaters when he was 8.
This movie is surprisingly violent.
Yeah, the first time one of the apes gets shot, he gets shot in

(20:36):
the face. God damn.
Because that took me back. Because like, I mean, yeah,
there's violence in these movies, but it's like like it's
like B movie family friendly violence or you know, like
people get hit and they go, yeah, no, this is like.
Dirty St. Violence.
Yeah, one of the. There's a lot of blood in this

(20:58):
movie. Yeah, again, I love the end of
this movie. Like it is genuinely terrifying.
There's the one scene where likethey're confronting all the like
the cops with the guns. Oh, the standoff.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm like, you've got
the distraction, apes, like you're just raising a ruckus in
the front. And then there's the like the
gorillas and stuff on the roof we throw the Nets down on.
Yeah. And then all these monkeys just
come out and start stabbing the fucking I.

(21:20):
Know. Like holy shit.
There's one scene where, like, you can actually watch him.
He's like, like up and down withthe fucking knife.
Like that's brutal. Like, yeah, obviously it's a
rubber knife. You're watching it like bend but
like but. Still the conceptual yeah, like
if you're into the story, like the act of this fucking monkey,
just savage. Like not just one of they're all

(21:42):
just attacking these Nets full of guys.
Yeah, that's so bad. Oh man, I I do love this is my
second favorite planet of the apes.
It's it is very close. I will say with red the 1st
Planet of the Apes. Yeah, are you talking only the
only the like the original origin 55 movies?

(22:05):
Yeah, you know, the the newer trilogy or Quad trilogy now,
whatever we're up to. Is it?
No, I think it's just three. Yeah.
Is this new? I think is Kingdom part of the
same like world? King Oh, that's there's a new
one coming out. No, we saw.
It Oh yeah, yeah, never mind. It was good, Yeah, Yeah.
That's dude fucking shot. Yeah, so I can really only speak

(22:37):
for this one and the original. I mean, yeah, like they're,
they're drastically different movies.
Yeah, no, they're all very different movies.
Like you have the first one, which is this like, you know,
sci-fi. Classic sci-fi.
Yeah. And then you have the second
one, which just goes fucking wayout to left field.
Yeah. These weird, you know, brain

(22:58):
mutants and fucking nuclear bombs.
Yeah. And then you have the third one,
which introduces time travel andtakes place in the modern day.
And then this one, which is like, you know, the future
according to the 70s. Yeah.
And is like super violent dark. Then you have the last one,
which is like kind of like upbeat and like ATV movie.
And it's like it's about like the humans and like the apes

(23:19):
working together. Like one of the last times that
ever happens, basically. Yeah, if I remember correctly.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I, I think Ireally didn't dig on in this
though was like all of these andit's so it goes on for so
fucking long. All these like training

(23:40):
sequences for like how to house break.
Yeah, like we fucking get it. Like you're cruel to the apes,
Yeah. It was like, here's a
flamethrower and a banana. Try to get the banana
flamethrower, you know, here's disco lights.
Try to pour some water like like.
Just like. It's fine, just tone it down and

(24:04):
cut some out. What else is there to say about
this one? I I like, I don't know, I'm a
fan. It's just very dark and very
weird. It is very dark and I do
appreciate that. Like I, I, I like, I like a dark
movie. Like it's just it, it is my
thing, but like, it's got to be dark with a purpose.

(24:27):
And I mean, I guess if you're thinking about the times, right,
Like this is this came out in 1972.
So yeah, a lot of dark shit was happening in society.
Did this need to go so far into mirroring?
What's? Actually happening, yeah, with

(24:48):
the message. Yeah, and I like, really like,
that's my only gripe. Like it's just, it's so on the
nose. Yeah, yeah.
That's why a part of me was likethe new Candyman movie was
fucking phenomenal. But also really heavy-handed.
Yeah, sinners like really heavy.Amazing movie like.

(25:11):
Do love? The IT was so good.
Hitting HBO this week, July 4th.Yeah, fucking heavy-handed as
shit. Yeah, I don't know, Like I, I
like a little more subtlety in the message.
Yeah, I guess I get. I get it.
Yeah. All right.
I think we can move on to some ratings on this.
OK. We've been talking about half an

(25:31):
hour. Shit.
Yeah, that's fine. Oh, by the way, I have been This
was all filmed like the Century City Mall.
I paid $13 to take a nap while watching Into the Woods at this
mall in Los Angeles. And it was weird because at the
time I want to say like, I wasn't aware that this is where
this was filmed. Oh, really?
It's like we're walking around like this all looks really

(25:53):
fucking familiar. Like yeah, yeah, this is weird.
Like I've been here before. Yeah.
And then to find out that's where they filmed this, like
yeah, OK. Yeah, that's like a jade gifts
where that's like security station at.
Jesus Christ, That's like going to the fucking Pittsburgh and
going to the fucking the mall where they filmed, you know,

(26:14):
going to the dead and being likethese.
Shopping at the Spencer's there,yeah.
This looks really familiar, likeI've been here.
Before, but yeah, it looks, I mean, it looks exactly like
that, like it's a mall. It's it's also weird, like being
an E coaster being in an outdoormall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'll go first.

(26:36):
Yeah, I was going. To say go because I'll go first.
I know I'm going to be higher than you.
Oh, boy. Oh, TJ says this is an 8.
I got to go 7. All right.
Yeah, I think it's 7. We're not as far off as I
thought. I I'm also going to go 8 on this
one. TJ again, I I just love like the

(26:59):
last 30 minutes of this movie isjust fucking perfect as far as
I'm concerned. Captain Bald says 7 Get out of
here, you're fired. In fact, next week we'll have a
new producer. Supposedly we'll have an old

(27:21):
producer. According according to the
stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I I love like the just the menacing feel of the end of this
fucking movie that like, yeah, the fucking just all right, you
fuckers are going to get your you know what?
You deserve it that you know right now.
Yeah, it's, you know, it's, it'sRambo.
It's fucking, you know, zombie movie like finales.

(27:45):
It's it's like that big epic, like everybody's fucking in the
real shit now. Yeah, yeah.
See, I know this is a this is a classic for me.
Like I I I really, really do love this movie.
Yeah, should worn my T-shirt of this movie.
I forgot. Damn it.
Is it just like the the cover? It is the Japanese poster for

(28:08):
this movie. Oh yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, they always have the
cooler posters anyway. Yeah, it was the first T-shirt I
ever bought from T Villain, who I buy a lot of my T-shirts from.
Yeah, like that. Guy and then that statue.
Yeah, yeah. Did you buy that?
And they were just like, hey, you buy a lot of.
Shirts. No.
I bought that hoping. Yeah, again, Sponsorship.
Yeah. Hey.

(28:31):
We got, we got, we got somethingyou could sponsor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ready for trivia?
I also have a mouthful of beer, but yes, There it is.

(28:53):
We should point out that we are drinking Steve Austin's Broken
Skull IPA from El Segundo. Yeah.
Tastes like every other IPA. Yeah, it's good.
It's it's got that hoppy ass taste which I'm not a fan of but
I've had worse Ipas. God damn it.
Just in time for me to finish the terrible beer beer and get

(29:13):
onto a there it is, delicious. Pabst Blue Ribbon again
sponsorship. Heineken.
Oh. All right, all right.

(29:34):
An original script draft showed more of the rapid evolution of
the apes from primitive to intelligent and showed the
progression of apes from pets toslaves.
I mean. Yeah.
I probably could have used more of that and less training
montage for. Some reason I had the.

(29:59):
Like for some reason I had the impulse just clean and dust
after this movie. My house is spotless.
Of all the Planet of the Apes films, including the revivals,
this one had the smallest production budget.
I believe it, actually. No, I don't.
I don't. It's hard to believe that the
the TV movie that ended this series had a bigger budget than

(30:21):
this. I mean.
I mean this is all filmed in onelocation like.
Pretty much everybody's wearing tunnels.
Yeah, all the all the monkeys are wearing one of three, you
know, the same garb, just in three different.
Colors, There's a lot and there's a lot of recycled stuff.
We'll get to we'll get to some of the recycled things.

(30:44):
Let's hear of all the original. I'm sorry.
All 5 original Planet of the Apes movies were number one of
the US box office when released.Conquest of the Planet of the
Apes spent one week as the number one top grossing film the
week of July 2nd, 1972. It made $4,395,549 all.

(31:07):
Right. Respectable amount of money in
that time. I would say so.
The jumpsuits worn by the apes to save the cost of fake fur for
the crowd of ape extras were leftover costumes from the 1964
to 1968 Fox TV series Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.

(31:28):
The Ape Management men's Insignia, patches and computers
and electronic cabinets all camefrom the Irwin Allen series.
The Time Tunnel, the large set that compromised ape Management
Center where apes are processed and trained to become docile
servants, is a redress set of Admiral Matthews office from the

(31:50):
Triton Control Complex and the City Beneath the Sea.
Governor Breck's ape auction throne was first used in
Taylor's spaceship in Planet of the Apes.
The same style chair is also used by the passengers on the
space plane in The Land of the Giants.
Some of the chairs were used in the Earth Force spaceships in

(32:12):
the TV series Babylon 5. So it's just incestuous
furniture I guess. Yeah, yeah.
I mean it's the same as like Young Frankenstein using the
shit from fucking Pride to Frankenstein and.
You know, yeah. Yeah, Well, that was for
authenticity too. This is just we're broke and we
needed this shit. That's the one, but it's also
like the first episode of Firefly.

(32:36):
So the pilot where they're doingthe no, I think it was the first
episode, not the pilot. So train job where there's like
the Army Marine guys in the train, Yeah, they're wearing the
same helmets and uniforms as theMarines in Starship Troopers.

(32:58):
Huh. All right.
Yeah, I found this one out recently in the movie Face Off
when, like, they send Nicolas Cage, like, you know, that
secret prison. Yeah.
And all the guys are wearing magnetic boots.
Those are the Mario Jump boots. Those are the Super Mario
Brothers jump boots. Yeah, that's incredible.

(33:22):
Yep. Star Trek Generations using Deep
Space 9 costumes. I was just watching Generations
earlier today. There is a Star Trek Movie
Channel on Pluto now and. Oh, really?
I've been. Watching that a lot, yeah.
Like Star Trek, it has a lot of good movies.

(33:44):
It does. It does.
Yeah. First Contact is a fucking
banger. Yeah, I like.
Like Undiscovered Country have. I've watched that this week.
I'll say it. A lot of a lot of good shit to
like. Let's see.
Director Jay Lee Thompson tried to frame every shot as wide as
possible and use strong primary colors of black and red during

(34:05):
the revolt to conceal subpar apemakeup and to make it appear as
though an army of hundreds was clashing throughout the city,
when actually only dozens of extras were used over a few
blocks. That is 1 gripe.
I will say I wish the conflict was bigger.
Like, I wish it seemed bigger. Yeah, like this really does seem
like 30 guys going crazy downtown.

(34:25):
Like, yeah, you know, and they, they tried and, and it's just,
yeah. You got to work with what the,
you know, the budget that they had.
Yep. But yeah, I, it was funny.
I did notice, like, there's a lot of gorillas in this finale,
like, because the gorillas are all wearing the red suits.
Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, subpar
background ape makeup aside, butwho?

(34:48):
Whoever designed the ape makeup for like the hero apes, Yeah, it
is so good because they can emote through it like that's.
Yeah, especially like in that fucking like in the 60s when it
was first designed like this person should be like in a
special effects hall of like that.
Like today. You don't get practical as good
as that today. Fucking.

(35:08):
Well, yeah, because nobody uses practical anymore.
Yeah, yeah. It have like the mouth move, the
eyes move. Like yeah, it's fucking.
It's really amazing. Like I've I've said it before
and I will say it until I die. Like I will take OK practical
effects. Any day.
Over good CGI 'cause I can always tell it's CGI.

(35:32):
Yeah, yeah, for sure. But that's kind of their old man
yells at Clouds moment. Get off my.
Lawn, pretty much, yeah. Yeah.
To promote this movie, 20th Century Fox arranged A bizarre
publicity stunt, a contest held in Century City to find Miss

(35:55):
Beautiful Ape among five young women wearing ape masks.
The master of ceremonies for thecontest was Gary Owens.
All right. Yeah, let's see here.
And this is going to be our lasttrivia fact before we move on to
1 star reviews on screen body count.
Would you like to take a guess? Who?

(36:17):
Geez, it's probably see, I don'tknow, like I feel like it's not
going to be much because like they didn't have the production
to make it feel like this, this big massacre.
But also at the same time, like I keep thinking of fucking these
gorillas like furiously stabbingdudes they trapped in Nets.
Let's say 30. I'll say 30.

(36:39):
Close, but you're about half allright, 59.
All right, all right. Did you say?
Five. I said 55.
Oh, 55. Yep, making this the most
violent film of the Planet of the Apes series.
I'm willing to support that DJ, absolutely.
That is now a canonical fact. Roddy was the one teaching them

(37:05):
to over emote their faces so it bled into the makeups.
Yeah. Great.
Yeah. At that point, he's probably
yeah, like because. Roddy Mcdowell's fucking
awesome, yeah. This is his fourth movie in the
makeup. Yeah, alright.
Are you going to move on to 1 star reviews?
Absolutely. There are only two.
I believe it. Yeah, yeah, likely the worst of

(37:28):
the original movies. Fuck you.
Dark, depressing, no real sci-fi.
The only good thing is you see how the apes took over in the in
at least one timeline. Again, it could have happened
slightly different over the original timeline, but maybe the
whole timeline is paradoxical loop that was actually kick
started by Taylor's landing in the future providing spacecraft

(37:51):
for the talking Abe, Zira and Cornelius to get back to the
past so they could birth Caesar who kick started the no periods
in this fucking paragraph of thePlanet of the Apes.
I don't know why there's a lot of like spaces in that.
This is what I think the writersof Escape from the Past of Apes

(38:14):
were getting to. Or maybe it was just a movie.
Yeah, yeah. Maybe, maybe drink less.
TJ is correcting me. This is his third movie.
He was not in Beneath. I forgot about that.

(38:34):
This guy's aping other people's ideas.
Get out, get out, I. See you right there.
Yeah, yeah. Fuck you and this one.
Let's kill everybody just for fun is the title of that review.
Not my personal opinions on this, although they don't differ

(38:55):
that much. Yeah, I was gonna say I'm good
with either. The fourth film, Conquest, was
brutal and violent. The apes are so brutalized in
this film that when I went into the theater near the end of this
film, the audience was cheering when the apes were killing the
humans. I was shocked at how people
could root for the humans being killed by apes who are trying to

(39:15):
destroy humanity. Probably because you're a
privileged white guy from the sound of it, I can tell you
already. I think this is a statement on
how people personally loathe themselves and their existence.
Yep, Nope. This you missed.
The point? This film also ends on a
negative note with humanity getting taken over by the apes.
It's called Planet of the Apes. And then an off screen nuclear

(39:39):
war destroys what's left of the rest of the earth.
Yeah, a real family treat. How do you miss the fucking
point so bad? So hard, yeah.
Like did you did? You only see the end of the
movie and you give it a one star.
He's talking about seeing the ass end of this movie in the
theater. So he's like, I saw this movie

(40:01):
50 years ago. It's like 10 minutes of it.
Why are people cheering for the oppressors?
I don't get it. Why?
Yes, I was a Bush voter and a Trump voter.
Christ. But yeah, that's it for one star
reviews. Like one guy who's obviously
drunk and the other guy who's obviously white.

(40:24):
Just not getting the point at all.
Yeah. I can't believe they killed that
nice vampire in Sinners. Yeah.
Did you see the dance? I did, and I dug it.

(40:47):
Because I like Irish things. All right.
Is this me? Am I up?
Yep. I feel like I'm up.
You're up. All right, let's move on to the
better known as I know. You I knew.
I knew. You.
I knew. I knew.
You we will start off with the director, Jay Lee Thompson.

(41:12):
This dude has directed like somebig at least one other big name
movie if my memory serves me correctly.
Some other notable ones, a lot of Charles Bronson stuff, but
his last movie was Kinjute Forbidden Subjects.
You know what? That's a.
It's for jerking off. Yeah, I think it's from that
movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.

(41:36):
He also directed Death Wish for the Crackdown, Murphy's Law,
1986, King Solomon's Minds. I was an Indiana Jones RIP off
in 19 if I must. It's going to smell Taco Wee.

(41:58):
Oh good. Taco Bell for lunch.
The evil that men do 1984 Another Charles Bronson action
flick. The White Buffalo. 1977 The Blue
Knight Huckleberry Finn 1974 He also directs Battle for the

(42:18):
Planet of the Apes in 1973, Mckenna's Gold 1969 And another
really, really big one, Taurus Baldwin. 1962 He directed the
original Cape Fear, also 1962. That movie is so good.
In 1961, he directed the Guns ofthe Navarone.

(42:40):
God damn, I'm the motherfucking Guns of the Navarone.
To quote jewels from Pulp Fiction.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Guns of the Navarone.
Fucking huge, huge movie that'll.
Do it. So was Cape.
Fear like Cape Fear was Robert Mitchum I think is the yeah,
Robert Mitchum the original Yeah.
I love the De Niro 1. It was the first time anybody

(43:01):
ever saw love and hate tattooed on somebody's knuckles.
Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, the De Niro one was was
super good. Who's that Was De Niro.
De Niro, Nick Nolte. Yeah.
Jessica Lang, Juliette Lewis. Juliette Lewis.
I was trying to think of what the fuck?
Juliette Something? Yeah.

(43:23):
All right, moving on. Roddy McDowell, who we have
talked about before multiple times.
At least twice. Yes, because he is, of course,
fucking Jesus. Pardon me Cornelius in the
original Planet of the Apes. He is in all of the movies,
except of course for Beneath. We also talked about him in the

(43:45):
original Fright Night from 1985.Vincent.
Do love that fucking movie. It has been a while since we
since I've seen it. We in the royal sense.
Well, I think we saw it at the same time the last time.
When we did it on the show, yeah.
I don't remember if I watched itbefore.
We talked to Amanda Burse and what's his name, Steven.

(44:06):
Steven something, whatever. Yeah, we talked to them.
They were awesome. So we're not going to spend too
much time. But I will point out that he did
a voice for an episode on Godzilla the Animated series.
That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good.
People, Godzilla fans, do love that series.
I did not watch it at the time, mostly because I was 20 at the

(44:28):
time. Yeah, because when you were 20,
you weren't watching cartoons. Shut up.
Yeah, correct. But fuck you, yeah?
That's what I thought. He was in six episodes.
The Pinky the Brain cartoon. Also he was the voice of the Mad
Hatter in a couple of episodes. The Batman animated series, the

(44:50):
new Batman adventures. I think that was the 2nd
incarnation. I think it was Batman the
Animated Series, then the New Batman Adventures and then
Batman and Robin the Animated series because it kept changing
titles. So.
Every couple of years, yeah. Yeah, it will.

(45:13):
It's either that Order or Batmanand Robin and then.
Yeah, The Adventures of Batman. I think you might be right.
Yeah, I think the. Avengers of Batman and Robin
might have been second. I think it was.
Is there a fucking channel that just streams those?
Because I I need to get that into my rotation.
Yeah, anyway, if you have, if for some fucking reason you have
not watched Bat the animated Batman cartoons, dude, stop

(45:38):
watching us. Yeah, fucking go watch.
Cartoons. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go watch cartoons. Oh God, I had a horrible idea
for a new show. What?
You know where it's going. Right, reviewing Batman and the
Animated Series. Yeah, like episode 4 episode.
Oh that would be awesome. It would be awesome.
That's got a definite timeline on it though.
There's a lot of cartoons though.

(46:00):
Batman The Animated Series. Because you could do, you could
do all of those related series. You could then go to like
Justice League Unlimited. Fucking oh.
Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I got I'll talk to a fucking.
That's you and Earthworld, Nick,I think is what that is, evil.
Geeks. Nick actually would be the the
dude for that, yeah. You know too many Nicks.

(46:21):
I do, I know way too many fucking Nicks voice in a couple
episodes. The couple of episodes.
Gargoyles, Duck man on USA? Hell yeah.
And we're going to move on from there because we have done him
before. Oh my God, he was the
breadmaster on The Tick. I did not know that.

(46:42):
That just change. Your life.
That is one of the funniest episodes of The Fucking Tick.
The first one with the bread master, Yeah.
I haven't seen the Tick cartoon in.
Chef of chicanery, your buns aremine.
Oh God, fucking that show. That show.
That comic was just fucking brilliant.

(47:05):
His sidekick called Buttery Pat,who was just like this dude made
out of butter. It's disgusting TJ has a quote.
Cape Fear is a horrible movie and anyone who roots for Gregory
Peck who was harassing that poorex convicts say more about
themselves as people. One star review.

(47:26):
I don't knowing TJ that could all be bullshit and he just made
that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean to say that Gregory Peck was harassing, what's his name,
fucking Max Katie. Local fireworks guy, right on
cue. Yep, he did.
Yeah, he did that all. Yeah.
Anyway, fuck you local fireworksguy.

(47:49):
All right, now we're going to move on.
Next up, some of these were going to fly over.
Up next, Don Murray, he was Governor Breck and I should
probably get on to the mic. That might be a good idea.
First time for everything, yeah?Fuck you.
He was in the Twin Peaks revivalseries in 2017.

(48:12):
Bushnell Mullins. He was in eight episodes of
that. I I should watch that?
I should watch Twin Peaks periodI.
I I I've never watched any of the movies and I cut out like
halfway through the second season, so I maybe I should do
myself that service wings. I like that show.

(48:35):
He was an episode of Wings. In 1993.
He was in an episode of Murder, She Wrote.
Oh no, the sound effects aren't.Working.
Oh, bullshit. All right.
I should have fucking turned offand then turned.
No fart. Yeah, no fart.

(48:56):
No fart. It's all right.
It's OK. It's OK.
It's. All.
Working. Yeah.
I don't know what's up with that.
It's. Work is broken.
Yeah. It's got no gas in it ain't.
Got no gas in it. He was also in an episode of
Matlock in 1987. Hell yeah.
I'll just spoil the surprise. We're going to get close to the

(49:18):
Pent Tavern, but we're not goingto hit it.
Aside from that, most of the people on this list are here
because they're they're in like either Murder She Wrote or like
a Pent average show. Yeah, he was in 34 episodes of
Knots Landing. I have never seen an episode,
but I remember my mom being really into that when I was a
kid. Yeah, I remember reruns and

(49:40):
skipping them every time it cameon.
Yeah. Picket fences.
I was like, I don't, yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, I'm no, I don't care. Yeah.
I I want to watch Captain N Thank you.
Again, he was Governor Breck in this.
Other than that, I think that's really about it.

(50:02):
Yeah. Nothing here is ringing a bell.
We're into the 50s at this point.
Yep. We're going to move on.
Up next, we have Ricardo Montalban.
I do not think this is Ricardo Montalban.
I mean, he's probably most well known for being con con.

(50:24):
Yeah, Captain that you don't know the glory of Captain NI
like in in the in the utmost cruelty of fucking coincidences.
This is this is fucking knowing organized religion.
This had to be on probably been on purpose.
I had to go to religious school every Saturday morning for like

(50:48):
it was an hour of time. But like, you know, with
transport and like getting kicked up and like probably
going out to breakfast and stuffafterwards.
Like, yeah, exactly. So I got to fucking miss
Saturday morning cartoons like, Oh yeah, a lot.
So I had to record them. And like Captain N was in that
fucking that time period, right.I was recording like Saturday
morning cartoons so I can watch them in the afternoon.

(51:09):
Yeah, I went back. For that, as an adult, terrible.
Yeah, fucking awful. I tried when it like I think it
was on like something like maybelike.
Probably G4. Maybe, Yeah, something like
that. And like, look, this is fucking
garbage. Like, why did I like this so
much as a kid? Yeah, no, it absolutely didn't.
It's what Yeah, absolutely did not take.

(51:32):
But yeah, no, Captain N was likeso cool when I was a kid.
Yeah, no, I, I, everybody else got to watch Saturday morning
cartoons. I had to go fucking rap about
Jesus fucking for an hour every Saturday morning.
Yeah. Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope,
Nope. Anyway.
Atrocious. But aside from that, I mean,

(51:54):
among us, he's known as the villain from fucking.
He's Vincent Ludwig and the Naked Gun, which I'm going to
try my hardest not to fall into a fucking quote all on.
You can do it. Oh, he's in Freakazoid for five
episodes. Yeah, he's in five episodes of
Freakazoid. He was in a couple of the Spy
Kids movies, too. I want to say at least two and

(52:16):
three, maybe more than that. Hold on before we get to that.
Spy Kids Three Spy Kids 2 Yes, and that might be it.
He was in Buzz Lightyear of StarCommand, the series Chicago
Hope, but he was in The Golden Girls spin off for an episode,
The Golden Palace. All right, Most importantly, in

(52:39):
1990, he was in an episode of Murder, She Wrote.
In 1988, of course he was Vincent Ludwig in the greatest
fucking movie ever made, The Naked Gun Files of police squad.
It's so fucking stupid. It's the dumbest best movie ever

(53:04):
made. For real, I just fucking Leslie
Nielsen and Ricardo Montalban's office trying to hide the fact
that he dropped the like the, the, the unbreakable pen that's
I'll only like it's susceptible to water and the, the, the rare
fish, the lionfish, like just like he quickly puts it behind

(53:27):
his back. Like like you see the water go
flying and everything. Like, oh fuck, I love that
movie. Oh, it's terrible.
My father went the same way. Fucking after Ricardo Montalban

(53:48):
falls off the fucking thing of the stadium and gets run over by
a steamroller and then a marching band.
Your wife's pregnant again. And if I find the son of a bitch
that did it? All right, all right, let him

(54:13):
up. The captain's had enough.
I'm boiling a roast. How?
Hot and wet, Do you like it? Awfully hot, Very wet.
I fucking truly like. I love that movie so much.

(54:35):
So good. To the point that I yelled I
must kill the queen at Reggie Jackson.
I absolutely did. Yeah.
Yeah. We went to a Yankees spring
training game. We were on spring break.
It was 2000. And I'm like, that's fucking
Reggie Jackson. I'm like, Reggie, I must kill
the queen. Nobody had any idea what I was

(54:57):
talking about. Yeah.
Reggie. Nope, Nope, Nope.
Oh God. Oh man.
Anyway, aside from that he was Mr. Rourke in 154 episodes of
Fantasy Island. Again he was Khan in The Wrath

(55:18):
of Khan. 1982 This man has been aboard the fuck boat.
Oh yeah, 1980 he was on. He fucked on the high seas on
The Love Boat. 1980 he was in How the West Was One TV series
78 and aside from that, I mean like he was just on a lot of
like TV shows throughout the 70sand 80s Colombo, Wonder Woman,

(55:42):
the mark of Zorro. He's just like ATV personality.
You've seen Ricardo Montalban insomething, or selling fine
Corinthian leather in other things.
Jesus fucking. Another thing I kept saying
while watching this movie. Up next, Natalie Trundy.

(56:06):
She played Lisa the chimpanzee in this movie.
I saved her. She is in every single Planet of
the Apes movie except the first one.
Oh wow. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, where were you when the first
movie hit? But she's literally in fucking

(56:27):
Beneath Escape, Conquest and Battle 4.
She was in an episode of Quincy,so hitting another point on the
pentavert. I'm going to tell you I've never
seen an episode of Quincy. I remember it when I was a kid,
but I like, I don't. I couldn't tell you much about
it. Yeah, not really much else I

(56:49):
think to mention beyond that. 2 episodes of Perry Mason, Wagon
Train, Twilight Zone, Bonanza. Hey, we're going to move on from
there because I don't think there's much worth mentioning
past that number at the end. Up next, Lou Wagner, he, I, I

(57:10):
saved him. He is in this movie.
He's like the busboy that they're trained to get used to
fire. OK, Yeah.
I saved him because he is Luciusin the fucking first Planet of
the Apes movie. Like the hippie, like teen ape,
like the one that, like CharltonEston tells, never trust anybody
over 30 or whatever. Yep.

(57:33):
Aside from that, I really don't think there's much mentioning.
It's an 8 episodes that series on Fox, Raising Hope, an episode
of My Name is Earl, 3 episodes of Yes Dear.
So yeah, a lot of sitcom work inhis later years.
But yeah, I saved him because hewas oh, he's in a couple of Star
Trek things. Deep Space 9, Next Generation,

(57:56):
The Golden Girls, the most famous Star Trek property.
Up next. John Randolph is in this movie.
He is the chairman. I don't remember.
Chairman of what? He is most famously fucking
Clark Griswold's dad in NationalLampoon's Christmas Vacation.

(58:18):
Yeah, yeah, Side. I saw that he was also in
Serpico and Serpico is fucking awesome.
I have not seen that movie in a long time but yes he is in
Serpico. A lot of TV work in his later
years. He was an episode of ER Sign.
He played Frank Costanza for like 1 of the early episodes of
Seinfeld. I forgot about that was later

(58:39):
played by Much better No Offenceto John by Jerry Stiller.
He's an episode of Married with Children in 1991.
Yeah. Clark Griswold, senior, 1989.
He was Jackie and Roseanne's dadand Roseanne Al Harris.

(58:59):
Oh Jesus, yeah. Shows up two episodes of
Matlock. That's three points of the
pentavert. Yep, I think that might be as
far as we get. Who's the boss?
He shows up in Trapper John. He's in Prezi's honour with Jack
Nicholson. Quincy shows up.

(59:21):
A lot of people in this movie were in Quincy.
We're going to move on from there.
Private Benjamin, that was Goldie Hawn.
Goldie Hawn There's ATV series. Though.
Yeah, I remember that when I wasa kid.
I don't know. Who was the Lorna Patterson.
Nope, don't remember who she was.
We're going to move on, though. Up next Buck Cartelian This dude

(59:46):
was he's also in a lot of big things but not really like in
big roles shows up in an episodeof How I Met your mother in his
later years episode of just shoot me even Stevens on the
Disney Channel just. Shoot Me is a great show that
nobody remembers. Yeah, yeah.
It was like it was just like theshow after Seinfeld, like when I

(01:00:08):
was younger. Did you go, uh, David Spade?
I said, uh, I hate David Spade. How did you hate David Spade?
I think. He's the worst.
He's like a overly pushed weasel.
Overly pushed weasel. OK, John Randolph was an
archival footage from the third movie.
OK, I got you. Not actually in this movie.

(01:00:31):
Got you. He was an episode of Curb Your
Enthusiasm 2000 episode of Son of the Beach that seems to be
popping up a lot lately. I'm trying to think of archival
footage in this movie. Probably in the beginning there
was like a little bit of stuff, but it definitely wasn't the
beginning. From the third movie.
Yeah, definitely. All right.

(01:00:56):
He shows up in Felicity. ER, shows up again.
He's in the Rock 1996 action movie classic.
He shows up in Jim Kata in 1985,which is ridiculous to the point
of laughability. It is a movie.

(01:01:16):
By the fucking name. Yeah, it is a movie.
Trust me, I know my apes. It is a movie in like, in which
there is like a martial arts like, derived from like
acrobatics. Like he's in the movie.
Like in the 80s, like there was like this movie craze where
like, there was acrobatics movies like gymnastics.
That's what it was not, not acrobatics, gymnastics.

(01:01:38):
So, yeah, they tried to make like a like a gymnastics action
movie. Yeah.
He's in Monster Squad, the TV series from the 70s.
Yeah, not the movie. Perry Mason.
Yeah, nothing really else worth mentioning.

(01:01:58):
We're into the 60s. Oh, he's Julius in the 1st
Planet of the Apes. Sorry.
There's two things worth mentioning.
He's also Cool Hand Luke 1967. Hell yeah, that movie's so good.
That is a good movie. What?
Who's the dog? What?
All right, he shows up in an episode of Batman 66.

(01:02:21):
John, everybody remembers that character.
Mchale's Navy. The Munsters get smart.
So a lot of TV in the 60s boys like.
Some of the best TV in the 60s. Yeah, The Untouchables and we're
going to move on from there. Up next we have John Dennis, but
he is a policeman in this movie.I saved him because he shows up

(01:02:45):
in Young Frankenstein. He's an orderly in
Frankenstein's castle. You're.
Going to disrespect Soylent Green like that.
We'll get there. The main reason I saved him
because he's in Young Frankenstein.
But yes, he's Wagner and SoylentGreen.
He shows up also in Quincy, BJ and the Bear.
So anything with a monkey, he's going to be showing up.
And yeah, shows up in an episodeof Taxi.

(01:03:08):
It's really probably Chips Fantasy Island.
The Incredible Hulk. So like all the 70s stables?
How many episodes of Days of OurLives was he on?
Oh don't mind if I do 6. 6 less than I was expecting.
And that's how you drink 2 beersin less than 3 segments.

(01:03:28):
Like Jesus Christ, 6 episodes ofDays of Our Lives.
It's like two days worth of work.
Not even that's like 1/2 a day'sworth of work.
He's in high anxiety in 1977. Didn't love it.
Yeah, didn't love it. I don't know, I I might need to
rewatch. I've I've like probably since
since I've seen that scene more Hitchcock.

(01:03:50):
So, yeah, yeah. Cold check the night soccer.
He's in call to the series. Coincidentally, he's in Moving
On in 1974, which we're doing the fireworks guy right on cue.
I've hate that motherfucker so much.
Paul Comedy is in this movie. He's the second policeman, not

(01:04:13):
the first one. He also shows up in the original
Cape Fear. This dude closed out his career,
unfortunately, with a guest spoton Baywatch 1995 Highway to
Heaven. 3 episodes of that with Michael Landon in 1987.
He shows up in Werewolf She Rose, Yes, and Werewolf.

(01:04:37):
Oh, I wouldn't burp and let it out early, Yeah.
At the right end. Oh, local fireworks guy taking
an early one. All right.
Thanks, buddy. He is also in the first Marvel
movie in 1986, Howard the Duck. Was it the first Marvel movie?
It was was. Oh, that's right, 'cause the

(01:04:59):
Spiderman stuff was TV. Stuff.
Yeah, yeah, it. Was all TV movies.
Local fucking fireworks, guys. See, I guess it's prime time
right now. Yeah, he is in Death Wish too.
Another Bronson action movie showing up.
Dallas has shown up a lot tonight too.

(01:05:20):
I just haven't mentioned it. Man let's fucking those death
wish movies are such diminishingreturns.
Yeah, yeah, like. 1 is amazing and the the none of them reached
that. Did we do ever again?
Three? Yeah, you guys did 3 on the
Defenestration Hour. I forget what we have coming up
next. I'll check at the end of the
episode. Yeah, it's not going to be this

(01:05:42):
week though, because it's July 4th.
Last up, we have Jordan Gump. Yep, that's it, Jordan.
Gump. Gordon, Jump.
Gordo. He was the ape auctioneer in

(01:06:02):
this movie. He is probably most well known
as the station manager in WKRP in Cincinnati, The original
series and the revival. Like in the 90s.
Aside from that, he's Mr. ThomasSullo in two episodes of
Seinfeld. He's George's boss.
Shows up in an episode of Married with Children.

(01:06:28):
Seinfeld. He, I want to say he's the guy
who assumes that George is handicapped because, like, he
shows up because he has a cane one day.
Yeah, like he hurt his knee doing something and like, he
just assumes he's handicapped. So like they give him like
handicapped bathroom access, like handicap parking like, so
he just leans into it. Yes, obviously he takes full
advantage, Yeah. He also was in Baywatch 1990.

(01:06:53):
4/2 episodes. 2 episodes. Yeah, he was in 11 episodes of
Growing Pains. No, thank you.
That WKRP revival got at least 47 episodes and that's Oh no,
wait, there's. Some reason to?
Say he man fucked on the high seas, you can't 7 times holy
shit. That is a lot of ocean fucking.

(01:07:22):
So the man would be an expert I guess.
After 7 episodes. Jesus Christ.
He was Maggie's father in growing pains.
Jesus, how the fuck do you know that TJ?
We will. Well, we'll close out on two
things. The Golden Girls in 1986 he
shows up in again, but in that same year he was also in Murder

(01:07:43):
She Wrote. Oh, amazing stories.
Night Court and yeah, Different Strokes will end there, and
we'll move on to the crapshoot. Sounded like that.
One's not working. Yeah, that one's not working

(01:08:06):
also. Hooah.
It's fine. It's fine, It's fine.
It's fine. We went to the local.
Fireworks guys going off right now.
He's he's fucking getting warmedup, man.
I hope he blows his thumbs. Off sincerely, I really do Like
yeah, just fucking maybe blows both hands off like that would

(01:08:26):
be. I know he's asking a lot.
I you know what? I hope he's left with thumb
pinky on both hands. You know, like.
Yeah, I was going to say we actually all of us went
yesterday to the Upstate Punk Rock Flea Market.
Yeah, which is pretty cool. It was a good time.
Yeah, I do enjoy that event. Got a couple of cool things in
there. I forget the artist's name,

(01:08:48):
unfortunately, but we'll be talking soon.
Oh. The tattoo artist.
Yeah, no, no, no, no. The guy I bought these two like
chalk, like on black paper drawings of Frankenstein and the
Bride of Frankenstein. Oh yeah, I those are in our what
we're going to be in our bedroomupstairs.
Nice, which is really cool. I did the tattoo guy I bought

(01:09:10):
some super cobra socks from. Nice.
He's from Connecticut. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's unfortunate. Yeah.
I was interested in things we'reworking on, so yeah.
Is that the guy we got 2? We got two of his Prince.
Yep. Yes, yeah.
You guys bought artwork from himtoo.
Yeah, yeah. Look at the stuff.
I think it was one because I like, me and Amanda were walking

(01:09:32):
by. I'm like, oh, that's fucking
cool. And she's like, Nick just bought
the same prank. I'm like, oh.
We got the the bat head with theflowers around it and that was
like ghosts with something, all right.
Was holding a candle I think, ormaybe it was a candle with a
ghost around or something like that.
All right. Yeah, yeah, I got some cool
stuff, got some stickers which Ineed to put up around the

(01:09:54):
studio. Yeah, no cool vendors, great
venue. That Arctic blast right in the
centre, that one artist that felt so bad for this little dude
was just like. Scrawny, scrawny human being
under all of the air conditioning.
Like it wasn't just a slight breeze, it was a fucking blast

(01:10:17):
of cold air. Yeah.
So hopefully he survived. Aside from that, anything else
going on? See, I mean, we went to the
farmer's market Saturday, but wekind of always go there.

(01:10:40):
Yeah, I keep meaning to go and like, I just never.
Do you could get fucking wreckedon booze samples?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like going like getting
some good ass bread from somebody, like some fresh made
bread and like some kind of awesome dessert and yeah.
Yeah, every samples. I really like going there.
See what else did we do? What else did we do?

(01:11:03):
I did all the Summerween shopping.
Oh yeah, Summerween is hot rightnow.
They had a cool like summerween T-shirt on T villain today again
shout out D villain sponsorship.It was like it was Jaws with
like a skeleton in his mouth that just said like summer, you
know, getting ready for Summerween.
Yeah, no, like the TJ Maxx, Marshalls, HomeGoods at home,

(01:11:26):
they've they've all got Halloween shit out right now,
but it's all, do they? Yeah, but it's all like summer
themed. No, it's what, the regular
Halloween shit? Like, well, because it's, I
mean, not all. Of it.
I have to shop for decor for thehouse, goddamn it.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like she just said, like,
not all of it is, but a lot of it.
So like, it'll be like, you know, like she got towels that

(01:11:49):
are like little popsicles on them, but they're like, spooky.
Yeah, yeah. A little coffin shaped ice cream
sandwiches. I got ghosts.
Like I want a coffin shaped Ice Cream Sandwich.
Pool floaties, yeah, Playing volleyball and.
But she also bought like, it's alike a haunted house shaped

(01:12:09):
shelf, you know, like there's all right, you know, those like
people were buying, they're likethrifting those paintings and
then like painting ghosts on them.
You can just buy those now like.Yeah.
All right. Yeah, so there's there's
Halloween, regular Halloween shit afoot.
Went to the movies Thursday night.

(01:12:33):
I can't believe I'm going to saythis.
Saw Megan 2.0 I. Heard it's ass.
It's not bad. Yeah.
I, I, I thought it was going to be garbage like and it was
actually like entertaining. I didn't love the first one.
It was all right. The first one was like, OK,
yeah, this one. I mean, this one's also like,
OK, it's not like, oh, the fucking best movie I've ever
seen. The first one was child's play
with extra steps. Yeah, TikTok ads for it have

(01:12:55):
been like very cringe. I can imagine, yeah, this was
more of like a sci-fi action movie than like a like a horror
movie. But the first one was more of
like a sci-fi movie than a horror movie.
I would. Say, yeah, it's technology going
awry. Yeah, yeah.
So it is in that vein. But it was actually like,
entertaining, like the the fightscenes are pretty good.
Like, yeah. But it's also the first one was

(01:13:18):
was technology goes awry. But also raise your fucking kids
yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I couldn't believe I actually enjoyed that movie.
Yeah, yeah. I want to see that F1 movie this
weekend but I just never made itout.
I don't know. I was like, yeah, Brad Pitt.
Didn't he do another F1 movie like a while ago?

(01:13:41):
I. Don't think so.
That's what I remember anyway. Yeah, who knows?
No, no, maybe it was an F1. Wasn't he in like Ford versus
Ferrari or something? No, that was Christian Bale and
Matt Damon, which is not like surprisingly really good movie.
Yeah, like I'm not a car. It's like a drama.
Yeah, I'm not like a car guy, but like, that movie was really

(01:14:01):
fucking good. What else would I do this week?
Yeah. It was like busy all weekend,
yet somehow, like, I don't really like do much.
Yeah. What the fuck did we do
Saturday? I went to the Funny bone
Saturday. Oh yeah?
What'd you say? Shane Torres, Yeah.
I heard him on, like, Bert Kreischer's podcast a couple

(01:14:24):
months ago. He was pretty funny.
Yeah. And they were like, they had
free tickets this weekend. So I'm like.
Oh fuck it. Yeah, he was goddamn hilarious.
Glad we went. Yeah.
Yeah, I should probably sign up for the Funny Bone emails
because they they send out free.Tickets all the time yeah yeah
and like I I never usually get them but like I mean like fuck

(01:14:44):
it like what else am I going to do like it's.
Free. Yeah, fuck it.
I mean, you go when you pay for drinks.
Yeah, I'm going to go out to dinner anyway and get drinks and
stuff. I might as well get the drinks
at a comedy club and watch the show.
Yep. So we.
Went to Speaking of like dinner and drinks, we went to What the
fuck is it the new Taco joint inLatham?

(01:15:05):
Love a little Margarita? The one that used to be Sushi
XI? Think so, yeah.
Yeah, How was it? It's it's Margarita City.
It's like not even like, oh, it's just kind of the same
thing. No, it's the same fucking thing.
The menu is exactly the same. Don't get me wrong, I fucking
love Mexican food, but we have like, have gotten at least like

(01:15:29):
a dozen Mexican restaurants in the past year, yeah, that have
opened up around here. Like, there's that one that, you
know, you just mentioned. There's the one like a couple of
doors down from that one. Titty Taco.
They they suck. They they're fucking terrible
you. Know but this place it like if
you like Margarita city it's. I do like Margarita City.
It's. That just in.
Latham. Yeah.
Usually owned by the same people.

(01:15:50):
Yeah. Oh, is it all right?
Oh, it's good then. Yeah.
Yeah, I do like Margarita City. They're, they're one of the
better ones around you. It's just like.
You know how you know how Margarita City is like a little
dirty? Yeah, this is not 'cause it's
brand new, it's shiny. I think like any Mexican, any
good Mexican restaurant should be a little dirty.
Like, I don't know, like it's the same thing like in Puerto

(01:16:10):
Rico, all of the best Puerto Rican food you're ever gonna eat
in your life gonna come off a filthy truck.
I can't explain it. It's the same as diner culture,
Yeah. If I go into a diner and I'm not
a little, just like a little skeeved, like I'm, I'm less into
it. Yeah, like.
No, we went on like on a day trip the last time we were there

(01:16:32):
and like we went up in the mountains.
We were coming back and there's just basically like the
equivalent of like a Puerto Rican rest area, which sounds
like it should be in the urban decorated.
Puerto Rican rest. Area Puerto Rican rest stuff,
yeah, God, but they're selling food there.
We probably bought like $200 worth of just fucking like,
little things to eat. Fucking just yeah.
Fucking delicious, yeah. Best food you will ever eat.

(01:16:55):
Yeah, yeah, I know. But yeah, I know.
But yeah, there's, there's so many fucking Mexican restaurants
around here now. It's it's weird.
Yeah. Got my hotel today for New York
Comic Con. It was a painful bill to pay,
but. Yeah, I bet.
Yeah, it's. Up over six bills, right?

(01:17:18):
Yeah. Just about 6 pills.
Yeah, yeah. For one night.
For one night, yeah. Absurd, yeah.
But I like, I'm at the point where like, pretty much like all
my accommodations are paid for. I just need to get my car
parked, which thankfully, I always stay at the same hotel
because they have a fucking parking thing right in the
hotel. Oh, nice.
And it's like a 5 minute walk from the Javits Center.

(01:17:39):
Yeah. So yeah.
Oh. That's probably why it's so
goddamn expensive though, yeah? Yeah, you're paying for
convenient. It is a it is a rooftop bar too,
which is fucking super nice. Yeah.
So yeah, now that's where I'll be staying.
I got to select a fucking fine dining restaurant for dinner and
prepare to drop some fucking bills in NYC.
I got to see if Ming's hosting anything again this year.

(01:18:00):
Yeah, because I had a fucking blast hanging out with that son
of a bitch last year. Yeah, he's a wild man, but he
is. You wouldn't.
Expect it you. Yeah, you wouldn't think it, but
that fucker can party. God yeah, that little dude can
put down booze. Like, yeah, I don't mean the
party snitch, but I'm just impressed.

(01:18:21):
Fucking respect the game. Game respects game.
Yeah, Yeah, I thought I had a high tolerance.
Yeah, so. That's all he does.
He's cons and party. Yeah.
See, I know. I yeah, paid for through the
nose for that today. It's really oh, like AI am

(01:18:45):
genuinely super excited about that thing.
I texted you guys about Tampa Bay today.
They announced Henry Winkler as a guest.
I fuck like he just seems like he's the genuinely nicest guy.
Yeah, yeah, from everything I'veever heard about him, he is so
nice. Like his social, like his either
his Twitter or Facebook or whatever, it's just pictures of

(01:19:07):
him fishing and like holding up the fish that he caught and
looking happy as like anybody can look.
And they're like just huge smile.
Like I fucking need more of thatenergy in my life.
Well, like, here's the thing. What's he got to bitch about?
He's probably making it still tothis day.
Probably makes a ton of money for being Fonzie, just like on
royalties. I mean, yeah, fucking fuck Adam.

(01:19:30):
Sandler's probably got him on fucking, you know, not layaway
retainer. But yeah, I like again, I I'm at
the point where I've been to so many conventions, like I've I've
talked to so many people that like celebrities don't like
impress me much anymore. I am fucking I am going to get a

(01:19:52):
picture with Henry Winkler. Like, yeah, yeah, it's.
Just like. Yeah, the Fonz.
Is covered in beans. Oh my God.
I have a Fonzie coffee mug. Plastic Fonz coffee cup maybe.

(01:20:13):
Maybe. I can get that signed for you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like, yeah, no, just seems like he's just radiating positive
energy. Like fuck, if I can host a panel
with Henry Winkler that would be.
AI doubt he's doing a panel. I fucking doubt it also, but
like, if there's just some stroke of luck, that would be

(01:20:34):
nice. Yeah.
And hopefully another friend of the show is going to be
moderating. Oh, Ken Reid.
Yeah, yeah, it sounds from what I saw the conversation, it
sounds like they were all did you?
Did you get any notice about panels you are going to be
hosting? It's not out yet.
Should be out soon, the dude wassaying.
So yeah, I'll let everybody knowwhat I'll be doing down there.
But that's coming up in like 4 weeks.

(01:20:55):
That's coming up super fast. God damn.
Yeah, yeah. It's not got on me.
So yeah, I, I am genuinely hypedfor that show.
Going to go see Dana Gould that weekend.
Hyped for that. Going to be a fun It could be a
legendarily fun weekend, Yeah, if all the stars line up.

(01:21:16):
Yep, TJ says he has a new show coming out about weird history.
Who? Winkler.
Winkler All right, I will ask him about that.
I'm down for that. Yeah, I would watch that as as
somebody who has watched celebrity hosted weird shows
before, you know, like In SearchOf was a huge part of my child.

(01:21:38):
Yeah, yeah, those reruns on A&E when I was a kid, watch the shit
out of those. Yeah, so good.
But yeah, I know the usual stuff.
I almost, almost bought a bottleof Mirth from Bourne B this
weekend. I was tempted to go down there
and buy a bottle. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna wait
till I get paid. That shit is so good.

(01:21:58):
Mirth is the. Lavender One.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lavender Lemon.
Yep. Ridiculous.
Yeah. Unbelievably good.
And it's purple. Yeah, and it just looks cool
drinking something purple. Yeah, purple.
Drank. Scissorp, but if they're open
4th of July, I'll probably stop down there.
We got nothing going on. We went there last year, 4th of

(01:22:19):
July, had a blast. Oh, really?
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaking of them. We got that crawler.
You'll see above us right now where you can get a $5 off your
online purchases if you use the code Monster Mede.
Oh, you're you're you're a little late on that one, TJ.
I am empty. Just bust open that lava lamp.

(01:22:44):
Goo looks so delicious. We have a couple of events
coming up. September 6th.
I believe it's whatever that Saturday is.
The first Saturday in September,we're going to be at the Dark
Forest Oddities Expo is in Peabody, MA, which is right
outside of Salem. It's going to be the beginning

(01:23:05):
of spooky season. We're going to be in Salem.
It's going to be a whole fuckingvibe.
It's going to be a good time. I'm really looking forward to
that show. That's the going to buy stickers
too. I was going to buy some stickers
today. I'll, I'll get on that.
We'll be handing out those stickers at the Dark Forest
Oddities Expo. Just a little bit more than a
month later. You're going to be able to catch

(01:23:26):
us at the Halloween Cannabis Expo, the Expo that is in see
Conch Masses. We're very Massachusetts heavy
for the end of this con year, but yeah, we're going to be
there. That looks like it's going to be
in. A good time because cool shit
doesn't happen in New York. Pretty much for now.
For now. For now, you boys are working on
it, but yeah, I know that's September 20.

(01:23:53):
Yeah, you can check that out at Hexpo on Instagram, and I
suggest doing so. That is all we have for
appearances, I believe, for now.I think you're right.
Yeah, yeah. We had a couple other things,
but I don't know if I want to. I think we're good.
We got some more. We're good, so we'll throw some

(01:24:16):
socials at you. Throw some words of advice, let
me get the fuck out of here. Yeah.
So our website is www.bigdealmonsters.com.
Local fucking fireworks. Local fireworks guy can suck it.
If you have suggestions for our show.
Movies we should watch. Beer We should try ways to

(01:24:39):
improve the show. You got critiques?
You want to work with us? You want to.
You want to have us host a panelfor you?
Host trivia for you. Exactly.
You're just sitting there with this event.
You're like, how do I like I have a thing.
I don't want to host it. Who should I get to host it?
US 2 these two. Right here. e-mail us big dumb
[e-mail]. Let's see what else we got.

(01:25:03):
You can find us on Slasher, the all horror social network.
We are Big Dumb Monsters podcaston there.
You can also find us occasionally, not too often
anymore, logged into our Steam account as Big Dumb Monsters.
You should check us out on Instagram and Threads at Big
under score, dumb under score monsters.

(01:25:25):
Threads is like surprisingly like a responsive and like
interactive community. There's a lot of people.
Yeah, yeah, who will actually like respond to you and and
like, yeah, it's not just like adead like thing, although I'll
give it a week or two. I'm sure they'll fuck it up
somehow. But yeah, you should check us
out on both Instagram and Threads at Big under score, Dumb
under score monsters. We followed a bunch of people

(01:25:47):
like in the past couple weeks just from all the events we've
been going to and collecting alla bunch of contact info.
So if you're new, thanks for showing up.
We appreciate it. You should if you're listening
to this in the past, man, if youlisten to the podcast version of
the show. You're living in the past.
Yeah, live in the now, man. Also, you're living at your own
convenience and I respect it. Yeah, but live in the now, man.

(01:26:09):
Hey man, I put a lot of work into the podcast format of this.
Fucking not that we don't appreciate it.
It sounds amazing, yeah, but youshould watch the show also when
it streams live every Monday night at 7:45 PM.
You can find that streaming on both YouTube and Twitch.
We'd appreciate follows or subscriptions on either of those

(01:26:30):
platforms. And we like a few videos, throw
a few thumbs up our way. It really, really helps us.
And if you listen to the audio podcast too, throw us a thumbs
up or reviews, whatever you want.
To do yes, subscribe. It all, it all helps us out,
helps your boys out. Also, the best thing you can do
is tell somebody as they you know, they could dig on the show
and then they can tell somebody.Don't be fucking annoying about

(01:26:52):
it, all right? Yeah, yeah.
Don't be that guy. He's like, no, you gotta listen
to me. No, no.
It's like push us, but like. Be like, hey man, I heard you
like monster movies. There's these podcasts.
Guys. Oh yeah.
They review them, maybe you should check it out.
Whoop. Yeah, that's how it, that's how.
It's all you gotta do. That's all you gotta do.
But yeah, I know be either way, be both be annoying too.

(01:27:13):
Fuck it, I don't care. Lose your friends, I don't care,
they're not my. Friends, Yeah, you should check
us out on T Public. That is T public.com.
You can search for the big dumb monster store there.
They're about to start having a sale starting tomorrow, July
1st, July 1st through the 6th. Everything is 35% off so you

(01:27:39):
should go. Oh, get your hands on some big
dumb monsters, March. Get like a $6 T-shirt.
Exactly. Help your boys out.
Really. We really appreciate it.
Yeah. Every little bit really helps
and counts. And that's all we got to hawk
for this week. Yeah.
What is it? What is it?
All right, we're going to leave you guys with some words of
wisdom like we always do, and let's get back to your Monday

(01:27:59):
night. Don't let goolies eat your ass.
And never sleep in a death bed. Bye.

(01:37:50):
Recording.