Episode #59: Scott Kelly 2.0

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Big Hoss's tailgate. Oh, I.
Don't know you got, I know you got to do your intro stuff.
Oh no, I was just going to kick it off.
Just let it go into us talking about video games.

(00:22):
Works for me man. Because I'm like, I just, I'm
trying to do like the whole Rogan thing where it's like, you
know, they just start into a conversation and they're like,
oh, are you recording? Like, yeah.
And they're like, what? There you go.
And then I was like, you know, like always listen to the 1st 5
minutes because you never know if someone's going to end up
saying something crazy or, you know, because someone's like,
yeah, that person's a real bitch, right?

(00:43):
And you're like, whoa, like. Yeah, let me let's it's I guess
it's called exhibitor. It's what it it's called for
that dude. The guy that mods games.
He just mods all these old 2DS scrolling games from the Super
Nintendo and Sega era. And he?
Just does that. I remember one time I was down

(01:04):
in Morgantown and there was thisbar called the Fallout Shelter
and it was like a basically in this old Fallout Shelter in this
bank or whatever and they made it into like a bar slash arcade.
They were playing like Pokémon on PlayStation and I was like
that is the coolest thing ever. Like why, why Why am I waiting

(01:25):
till now to do this? Like why did I need all these
adapters if we could have just done this?
I know. It's ridiculous.
Like just sell me the thing on adisk and I can just go do it.
So it's called Zivitor. It is free for anybody out there
who wants to play some custom fan made games with this dude.

(01:47):
Yeah, I'll show you here. You can check it out.
You know, they have their own Superman game they they created
and it takes a little bit because it's a glitchy website,
but yeah, where's the games? And then again, they're all free
to download so you can go. They just redid the X-Men 92
arcade game. Oh yeah, 'cause I'm see they re

(02:09):
released that for like iOS like a couple years ago and now you
can't re download it again or nothing.
And it's like why? Why I paid a dollar for this,
Why am I not? Why can I not play the game now?
I have it downloaded on when it came out on my Xbox 360 and
that's where it stayed because you can't download anymore.
Same with The Simpsons game I download.

(02:29):
I got that back in that same time frame too.
Yeah, they're trying to make that argument because I think
Ubisoft got sued by people who played The Crew.
OK Do you remember when The Crewcame out that was that, like
coast to coast driving game? You could drive literally the
entire United States. Yeah.
And they're shutting the serversdown.
Well, the games online only, they won't make it on offline

(02:52):
mode. So people are just like, all the
progress you did, you lost. And they're like, well, that's
not really fair to us. Like, we paid for the game.
They're like, yeah, but you guysdon't own your games.
And now everyone's like, wait a minute, wait a minute here.
Like we don't own our stuff. We don't 'cause that same market

(03:14):
goes to you don't own the moviesthat you rent or buy off TV.
You don't own any of that stuff.So what's the purpose of buying
all this? I know I'd so I'm a big advocate
of like having physical media, but at the same time I, I'll be
honest, when I bought my PlayStation five, I got I, it
was the time when it was hard toget and the only one I could get

(03:35):
was the distance 1 and I so. Yeah, now you're making options
for me where it's like I can't even have anything physical.
Yeah. Well, they I've read it, but
the, the the way the next systems are going to be
operating there will not. They were supposed for both Xbox
and and PlayStation. This those new PlayStation 5 and
and the new Xbox were supposed to be this list.
They wasn't going to have any and then fan backlash.

(03:58):
So they added it back in. But the leaks I've read about is
they will not have that for the next generation.
It's gone. It will be download only.
Which game like you said. Yeah, if the game's for online
only and they decide not to makeit for offline, then what's the
point in buying that game? Well, I think what they want to
get to, they want to make gamingto the point where it's a
streaming service. Yeah, like same thing as movies

(04:20):
and stuff like, Oh yeah, you're going to stream your thing.
I'm like, that's cool. But when the Internet goes out,
then what? Yeah, you have nothing.
Yeah, like, that's that's why I hated like Need for Speed when
they did that. Need for Speed did that for a
while. They went and made all the games
so that they were all like online only so that you know,
and especially if you, I lived out in the country at the time,

(04:42):
well, if your Internet drops that day, you can't play the
game. So I paid for a game I can't
play because it's only on the Internet.
Yeah, it's it's the same concepttoo.
Like I don't belong to Spotify or any of that stuff.
I actually still buy my own. Like the albums, I'll buy them
on iTunes. So I have them, I have them on
my phone because like, you know,if you're driving places on

(05:04):
Spotify, you don't have a good signal that cuts out and stuff
like that. I hate that.
So I just I own my own stuff. That's why I download.
You can download from Spotify. Oh, do you?
Yeah, I, it's, I had a big collection prior to that, 'cause
right now I have like 45,000 songs I actually own.
And prior to Spotify I already had like 20,000.
I was like, I'm just going to just keep rolling with my own

(05:24):
collection. And then you always have rights
issues where it's like, you knowwhat?
I want to take my music off of this Cool.
Like, for instance, Garth Brooksfans, you can't listen to him on
Spotify, Apple Music, only on Amazon.
Yeah, so you're like, what are the odds that any people are
going to? Which is dumb on his part.
Oh yeah, 'cause it's like, dude,you're just going to become

(05:46):
irrelevant. Oh yeah.
Like you have to be across platform to to be able to stay
relevant. If you single yourself just the
one, OK, maybe in the moment it works, but long term it's not
going to. Work.
Yeah. It's like, what does he do?
Like he doesn't do anything likedoes.
He has he put even put an album out and then like when was the
last? Time Even when he does they,
they kind of suck. He had his time in his 90s.

(06:07):
Yeah, now he's just become a joke to Tom Segura.
It's even better now. Have you watched Bad Thoughts
You? Have not Have you checked it
out? Oh God, was it good or bad or in
between? I don't know how to describe it
because it's one of those like, you're going to laugh, but then
at the same time you're going tobe going, what the fuck?

(06:28):
Like, yeah, man, you're just going to get that what?
What are you? What is wrong with you man?
Like it'd be that kind of that. Kind of thought process, yeah.
We finished up Righteous Gemstones season 4 and my wife
and I and that I loved it honestly.
Yeah, I've been wanting to talk to people about Righteous
Gemstones because I'm like, there's so much in that show

(06:49):
that happens that you it's like,especially this new season.
This new season was wild. I was not expecting what happens
at the end of the season. No, I was not either.
It felt like a horror movie. Yeah, they switched, switched
genres. And I was like.
Stiffler chasing them one around.
Yeah, I was like, what the fuck?If you haven't watched it, it's

(07:11):
your fault. I don't know what to tell you.
It's been out for a while. Go binge faster, bitch.
But yeah, seriously, like that, that whole scene was like
freaky, 'cause he was actually creepy.
Oh yeah, When he snapped and youcould see when he like the
moment where his character just switched.
Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is I

(07:31):
was not expecting this twist. I honestly thought they're like,
it wouldn't put put past me for Danny McBride to kill off like
his own character and the rest of his siblings like that and
just. They were terrible people.
They were they completely were terrible.
They wasn't really anything decent about them.
They were just assholes that have money and then sometimes

(07:52):
did a kind thing but very rarelyI.
Don't know, 'cause now I'm trying to think, 'cause I have
to, I have to rewatch the endingnow.
But I'm like, would you kind of say they were better people
after the fact? Like they actually like, oh,
like they actually learned theirlesson a little bit.
I think they actually did. I think that was the point of
making it so dramatic and so suspenseful to like, you know

(08:15):
something and they do that thinglike where people go through
trauma and they learn something from it together.
It's like trauma bonding and then you learn to change as a
person or just you make yourselfa better person.
But so I guess that sense, you could look at that lens, they
were trauma bonding over that whole sequence.
They were going to die. So that's what I was wondering
is like, you know, they face theverge of death and it's like,

(08:36):
oh, you guys are going to actually act like Christians now
or you going to act like still be like heathens.
I could I that whole thing with BJ and the monkey and still
cracks me up. Oh my God.
No, actually they don't. You know what?
They didn't learn their lesson because remember, they did the
Cape and pistol thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, at the
end. And he decided not to shoot him.
Then he then they ricocheted, hit that kind of leg.

(08:59):
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Let's just say they kind of
learn their lesson. Like they kind of like became a
little bit better people. But yeah, that the monkey thing
was just. The whole BJ being a bacon male
pole dancing that just I. Like how they just put him in a
wheelchair. The rest of the the.

(09:20):
Whole I know. Like you're just going to sit in
this wheelchair the whole season?
My wife rub a good point she thoughts when I go there, like
maybe kind of a missed opportunity maybe, but she
thought he was going to be healed through like, you know,
you know, like at church and like rise and do all that crazy
shit like that. And then he would stand up and
everything. I would have loved to have seen
his brother-in-law come back. Steve's on.

(09:42):
Oh yeah, I was really hoping they would have came back 'cause
it was like, Oh yeah, I thought they were going to join and be a
part of the family and then you never heard from him again.
No, no, he seems like to be likethe only person.
So I was reading about this behind the scenes stuff with
them to talk about, you know, the press releases.
And I guess baby Billy was supposed to be a one off from
season 1 too. Oh really?

(10:03):
But because he's such a fan favorite, they said we got to
keep him in here. I love that one.
He's like, can't what? He's like can't, can't was it?
Can I get $2,000,000 in a bump in a?
8 ball back and forth ASA an 8 ball and $2,000,000.
That's all I'm asking for. That's all I'm asking.
Yeah. I've seen that been made of

(10:23):
stickers. I love like the meme of him like
in the clouds and it's like whengrandpa sees you do something
like super crazy and it's like him cheering you on from the
from heaven. It's like when grandpa see you
throw a can at the blue haired person or something.
It was like, Oh my God. Yeah, that and his scene from

(10:43):
last season where he was trying to sell those pills.
You know, I forget how the wholespeech goes.
Like, you know, it's a wash. I was a parent paid by
scientists or paid my you know, I make nothing 0 zilch.
But why do you do it, baby Billy?
Because I'm shellfish. I did this.
I made that into a a comedy memebecause it's like, how much do

(11:04):
you make off a comedy? Oh, is that you who did that?
I think I saw that. Yeah, 'cause I got 0 Zilch
because by the time I pay all myscientists.
That that was good. I thought you're the one who did
that thing, 'cause I saw that. Yeah, I made that one.
I was like, I was kind of proud.I was like.
That's good, man. That was really good.
That's just said this, sometimesthe stupidest things you think
of. I know will.

(11:25):
Blow up and then you're just like the thing you actually
spent time like, you know, 3 hours trying to make this real
and it's like now we'll give youa 250 at Max.
Yeah, 250 and like 3 likes, one share.
It's like, oh, thanks. OK, great, lovely.
Yeah. The favorite 1 is when everyone
sends you this hey like and share.
You're like hey I sent you my reel like 50 times.

(11:46):
You didn't share it once. I remember you.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. I I, yes, I'm, there's people
out there who have done that too.
And people too who are like evenhere, I'm like, I say names, but
they're like, Hey, give me, can I get on your show?
Bring it on your show and never return the favor.
Never once returned the favor. So I remember you guys.
Yeah, I've always been one of those.

(12:06):
Like, I'm like, I don't even know how to get on shows
anymore. Like, it's usually someone ends
up texting me like, hey, do you want to be on a show?
You're like, yeah, sure. And then everybody's like, you
got to reach out, man. I'm like who do I ask?
Like. Now do you, are you still like
actively in open mics and thingsright now?
Are you still doing all that stuff?
So I go Mondays, Wednesdays. I've been driving out to Ohio.

(12:30):
There's a place called the FunnyFarm.
Yes, I am. Yeah.
I've never been there, but I know.
Yeah, so we've been driving out there on Wednesdays, but yeah, I
haven't really haven't really hit a lot of mics in the city as
much as I want to. I've been like trying to make
plans to and then every time something's come up and it's
like, Dang, I really need to get, I need to get out more.
I know I do. I know at least you can verify

(12:53):
if this is true or not. I've heard like sometimes
there's so many comedians at these open mikes in in
Pittsburgh. Like you only get like 3 minutes
or less sometimes because there's so many.
Some, I mean, there's some nights where I think there's
some nights scarves where like the list was like 60 comics.
So it's like, hey, we got to geteverybody's time down.
Yeah, you can't. That's you can't just, Yeah.
But then like, it's always like New Year's, like, you know,

(13:15):
summertime. People, yeah, I don't.
So an altario we don't like, everyone gets 15 minutes and
everything, so that's nice. Oh nice.
That is really nice, but the problem is with that though is
there's not outside the comedy farm.
There's nothing that's just for comedy.
So you're in, you're mixed in between musicians.
So like you have 3 musicians, then here's a comedian, 2

(13:36):
musicians, and here's a comedian.
But you get 15 minutes though, and that's very hard to get
anywhere, you know? Oh yeah, I mean it.
I think there's a couple mics that do 10 like in the city, and
sometimes they'll let you like, hey, I'll give you 10 'cause I
know you got a show coming up. Yeah, you.
Know what I mean? But it's like, yeah, it doesn't
help me when I'm doing 20. No, I get that, yeah.

(13:56):
And, and, and too they, they capthem too.
So there's X amount of people. So that way everybody gets 15
minutes because that sometimes it gets booked out a little more
in advance. Like you sometimes you maybe two
months later you can be on this open mic because people are
always trying to get on and theyget on.
So it's just a, it's a, it's a waiting game, honestly.
Well, we have some cool like I know Monday they have a new one.

(14:17):
One of the guys he was a guest on here, his name is Joe the
Bull guy. He runs the mic on Mondays out
of Monroeville. Like no, not Monroeville,
Homestead, Homestead, Homestead.Like it's like right by it's
like where the improv is, but it's like kind of like off from
that. So it's like 5 minutes from

(14:38):
there. So it's a cool little mic,
'cause they get music and comedy.
And then Amanda Aver runs one. She runs Getaway on Mondays.
Where's that one at? That one's everybody always asks
me where's getaway at, and I never remember where getaways is
because, well, like I'm, it's like I live in Pittsburgh, but I
don't know where anything is in Pittsburgh.

(15:00):
Dude driving through Pittsburgh as a person who is not from
Pittsburgh is nuts. It's yeah.
And there's crazy. There's so many neighborhoods
and everything's in a different neighborhood and you're like, Oh
yeah, that's the general. Like, you know, you'll say, Oh
yeah, that's in North Shore. And it's like, not really.
This is this side part of North Shore that's actually called
this. I'm like it's, it's by Heinz

(15:20):
Field. I missed three.
I screwed up three times coming here because the way we looked
at my GPS is like, do I do this or do I do that?
It was vague. Yeah, like there's two lane
splits and it's like just go around.
It's like, but which one? The one that's going slightly to
the right or the one that's going right?
Which one do I pick? Yeah, I had that happen coming

(15:43):
here, the two spots and I loopedaround and and a whole full
circle and came back like fuck, seriously.
Yeah, and I'm using Apple Maps too, which is like trying to use
the GPS on hard difficulty. It's like the it's super
ridiculous. I've never even tried Apple, I
just have Google Maps. I remember when GPS was were so
bad in Pittsburgh, like the skyscrapers were screwing up,

(16:05):
like the signal. Yeah.
Like you'd be like, it'd be liketrying to figure out where to
turn. Well here it was so slow because
the signal was getting messed up.
And then when you try to get relocated, it was had a hard
time finding you to tell you which street to go down.
Oh damn. So I would like serve on the
block like 50 times. When I was when I started in
2011, I was come up here three to four times a week for three

(16:29):
years. That happened a lot and I didn't
knew why. I'm like, why?
You could say rerouting. I'm like, what am I supposed to?
What turn I'm supposed to take? I don't know.
Right now. I will pull over and like wait
for it to catch up. I'm like, OK, that's where I'm
supposed to go. So yeah, man, like, yeah, you
just pop down. You're just, you hit me up a
couple days ago, said you were going to be in Pittsburgh today.
Yeah, doing some podcasts for some of the other people and

(16:51):
then I'm going to be up here on Wednesday for a show.
And then I'm. I can't say what movie it is,
but there is a movie nearby and everything and I'm an extra in
that and I got to come up here for fitting and then.
I want to guess. I probably know if I know movies
are being filmed around here, I can probably guess the movie,
but I won't guess it because. Yeah, I I signed in the NDA.

(17:13):
Yeah, I can't say which one. I signed up for to be an extra
in a movie. It's going to be filming here
this summer and I'm very, I'm really hoping I get in this one
'cause this one's like, oh, OK, this is I like everyone who's
it's, it's in this. I want to be part of this.
That's awesome. But is it?
I don't, I'm not for around here.
Was it custom like summer seasons, like movie season

(17:34):
around here? For some reason, it is like for
some reason they've been filminga lot of movies here.
That's awesome. Well, I mean, they did that
Jason MO woman before COVID, andthat was mostly in the fall
because the movie's set in the fall.
So like, it's a guest whenever the movies are, you know, set, I
guess. I don't.
I guess I don't know. Like Mayor Kingstown's always

(17:56):
like early spring, late fall kind of thing, OK, 'cause
they're, 'cause they're always, they're supposed to be in
Canada, so. Yeah.
Oh, that's true. Yeah.
So you're making Pittsburgh a backdrop for Canada?
Well, I guess it's 'cause of theprisons.
I guess like all the the the architecture here kind of looks
like a rundown part of Canada. It's interesting 'cause you have

(18:17):
places like a lot of places of film and up in Canada and then
make it look like it's from around here.
Yeah, that's yeah. You watch The Flash and you're
like, Oh yeah, I seen that same building in Arrow.
Yeah, exactly. It's like we're supposed to be
in separate cities but we're literally just filming
Vancouver. Yeah, always in Vancouver is
like the hot spot for like moviemaking.

(18:38):
I think that's like the New Yorkof Canada, isn't it?
It must be, honestly. Because I think there's one like
that's the wait, that's the one that's like on the New York side
of Canada, right? I don't know, I don't know.
I can never remember like where things are in Canada.
I have no idea it's how. Much they matter to me.
I'm just kidding. Please book me in Canada.
Please book me. I accept you as our new

(19:01):
overlords. Some help.
Dude, I've been watching Simpsons recently.
Like the older Simpsons? Seasons 1 through 9, like when
it was OK, yeah. My God, is it so funny.
It is really. Funny.
Like there's some things in there that still are hilarious.
And Homer's actually like tryingto do the right thing.

(19:23):
Like he signed. Like Lisa feels that she's ugly
'cause like, she had a cartoon drawing done of her and they
made her look ugly. So she's all feeling bad about
herself. So Homer wins a ticket to get
this Duff blimp Ride, sells the ticket to enter Lisa into a
beauty pageant because he wants to show everybody how pretty his
daughter is. That's nice.

(19:44):
And I'm like, that's actually really fucking nice.
That has been nice. It's Homer, Yeah.
Homer now would like somehow fuck it up and still be an idiot
like. I haven't seen all trust me.
I I've season 1 through 9 I've probably seen probably 50
episodes but it's it's nothing compared to how many there is

(20:05):
between season 1 through 9. Yeah, there was over.
I'm trying to think. Yeah, because every season is
like 22 episodes. The first season was only like 6
or 8 or something like that, butin season 2 and beyond was like
20 something 2528 or something like that like that.
And I was just watching 1 today.It was something where it was
Bart got in trouble and Homer banned him from seeing the Itchy

(20:29):
and Scratchy movie. OK, I never seen that one.
So Bart never gets to see this movie.
Everybody else does and he doesn't.
It kills him. Like he's basically like just
destroys him as a kid. My God to and Homer's like, I'm
sorry, like I don't want to do this to you, but you don't.
You're not stopping. What am I supposed to do?

(20:49):
Like you gave me no other option.
Like it's it's weird. Homer cracked the whip and he
was just being a like, no, I'm. He literally didn't buckle
throughout the entire episode until like, the very end.
They kind of pay it off. Yeah, like, oh, This is why
Homer did what he did, and here's the result of it.
Was this the Conan O'Brien era that you were watching?

(21:12):
I think it's like right in that era, OK, like he just started
maybe. Did you watch the three or four
the Netflix? Oh, what's it called?
They gave him all his word, the Mark Twain.
I haven't yet. He, there's a Camille Nagiani
had a good bit in there where hehas a slideshow and he talks

(21:35):
about how everyone talks about Conan.
Brian, you know, you know what he contributed to the actual,
you know, Simpsons. And if you look at his actual
contribution of what he wrote and did and it's like nothing,
it's nothing at all. He wrote like 3 episodes
himself. Oh, really?
Yeah. But he was a head writer there.
But he wasn't right. He was like helping everybody
else. But for his own writing.
He's like 3 episodes. What did you see?

(21:57):
I forget if he said if he if he said it was because it was on.
It was when he was it was Nah, Ican't talk right now.
I can't remember if he said if it was when he was doing the
Late Show or if it was when he was doing Simpsons.
But he told he said one of the writers said something to his
hair. Why don't you have a tall glass
or shut up juice. And he is.
That became the Rocks catch phrase because one of the

(22:18):
writers went to work for WWE, borrowed that line, gave it to
The Rock, and The Rock made it famous.
He isn't, but it came from ConanO'Brien's mouth.
Like he said that to another writer.
Tell him to shut up. That's a fun factoid.
Yeah, I didn't know that He. Was telling the story like on a
podcast or something. I was like, that is wild that

(22:38):
that's the story behind that. Like Howard, I think Howard the
Stern asked him about it. That's crazy.
Yeah, Yeah, I've seen, I've seenclips of the Howard Stern, Conan
O'Brien. And he got uncomfortable too.
And when he was talking about Jay Leno, he kept trying to push
him to like, talk shit on him and he we wouldn't do it.
That's why, like Howard used to be cool to do that, like, 'cause

(22:59):
he would get people to come on and tell the truth basically,
like they would buckle. Now he's like basically a shield
for Hollywood. So now he's just kind of like,
Oh yeah, I'm not going to ask you any hard questions like I
used to. OK, dude, Yeah, he's not the
same as it used to be. Yeah, you could tell he's
definitely like sold out, which I get it, once you make so much

(23:19):
money, you're in the club. And also too, I guess how much
care do you have if you've been doing that for so long?
I'm sure sure at some point likethe carriage is kind of like.
Yeah, and after a while, no one's going to want to hang out
with you. Just hey, you're the Dick head
that no one wants to hang out with.
Yeah, exactly. Unless he's trying to do
reparations from the past like I'm nice now, I won't do that
stuff to you anymore. Yeah, he felt really bad about

(23:40):
doing that to Robin Williams, 'cause he said he pissed Robin
Williams off and he would never come on.
Like he or he did it one time, had him on there and then he was
a Dick to him the entire time and he was just like fuck you,
I'll never come back. Yeah, I didn't.
And he? Died.
Oh shit. And then Howard's like on there
like I never got to make that right.

(24:01):
And it like he was like, it kindof bothered him.
I wonder if that's what slowly transgressed to him, like
becoming this version now. Possibly, yeah 'cause that was
like around two, Yeah, 'cause. 20/14/20. 14 That's right When
he was started doing the What was that?
America's Got Talent. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

(24:22):
I found out through so, my introduction to Robin Williams
dying, 'cause he was he's, I wasa huge fan of him, even from a
kid and everything. He's just so it was my guy.
So I was going ready to go on stage and open mic in Altoona
and waiting back in the green room and my one buddy who who
was waiting there he goes, Oh myGod.
He's like Robin Williams just died.

(24:43):
I'm like, what? And then they say Scott Kelly at
the same like my mind was not there, man.
You're like, I was like, shit, he's my hero.
And then you're almost like, do I shit on him?
Because like, because that's thecomic mindset is like
immediately, like, I need to make this laugh.
Do I shit on him? Dude I was born in a shocked

(25:04):
state honestly. That that's a celebrity death
that messed me up. Yeah, that he messed me up.
I and I'll be honest. So they put out his I think we
may mention this the last time, but since then I found it on
iTunes. They have so much of new
material of his has never got released.
Name where there are actually 10albums.
Yeah, I think there's stuff where he was workshopping for,

(25:26):
like his specials. Yeah.
So if you'll hear some jokes overlap, but then you also hear
shit that he's never said. Yeah, it's because it just, it
wasn't good enough to make the special.
Yeah, I bought all 10 albums andhave I listened to any of them?
Who won it? And I have to say it's kind of
hard to listen to because he's still someone I look, I looked
up to and it's still kind of like, I don't know, it was weird

(25:47):
to say, but like I still feel like that loss from him.
So I'm still like, I like, I'm going to just force myself to
listen to this shit, but. Yeah, there's sometimes I, I
don't know why I do this to myself.
I force myself into the depressive mood by watching old
clips. Like.
There's the Super cut of him on Craig Ferguson.
It's the best. It's it's probably the best

(26:08):
interviews he did like the Letterman ones were good.
Don't get me wrong. Like, he came out after Dave had
his heart surgery and he was in the medical gown and everything.
That's great. But what he does with Craig
Ferguson, it's like he kind of got to go a little edgier than
he normally gets to, and you could tell he was having a lot
more fun with it. I'll have to show you like.

(26:28):
Yeah, I've never seen these ones.
Honestly, I haven't. You're right, I did that.
Hell, I just did that to myself on Thursday night.
I don't know why. I was just feeling the funk and
that I just had to watch on YouTube after everyone went to
sleep. Like sad moments on Scrubs are
they? And I'm like why the fuck am I
doing this to myself? Yeah, there's just sometimes
you're like, you know what? As a man, I need a good cry
right now. So I'm going to put on a bunch

(26:49):
of sad shit and just torture myself and then I'll bury this
down and never address it again.I felt great Friday morning when
I woke up, and I did it to myself on Thursday night.
So I I just, I yeah, I put myself in depressive funk, cried
at a few things and then just went to sleep.
Yeah, that was it. I got 1 today.
It was, it was a, there was somefight in New Orleans and it

(27:11):
showed like the kids dad was an uncle was like the kids uncle
was a cop. And he's like in there and he's
chewing him out like in his face.
And then all of a sudden you seehim like he like gets him in his
face. And all of a sudden you see them
like hug it out. And I'm just like, that's a
beautiful moment. Like I'm like, this is 9:00 in
the morning today. I don't need.

(27:33):
This Oh shit, I know. But what it like I yeah, I don't
actually don't even this. I think this is the first I've
openly talked about this on any podcaster outside my wife with
anybody. Like honestly, I put myself on
those nudes. Certain bands, certain songs,
I'll just like it's time they put it on and I'll get a good
cry out. I'm like, OK, that was good.
Oh, I have to go check the camera, so we'll be right back.

(27:55):
You're good. And we're back.
So. So I've got to ask, So what are
your comedy guys? Ones you look up to?
Oh, well, I feel this one feels bad saying because it's like the
first stand up special I ever saw was Bill Cosby himself.

(28:17):
Yeah, it was my my dad loved Bill Cosby.
But like, that was when Bill Cosby was, you know, family
friendly and everyone loved him before we knew about.
Real Bill All right, I have a true thing.
I funny thing I did mention the last podcast, but I'll mention
it here. So I used to work in the prison,

(28:39):
OK, and we had access. That's the time he got
incarcerated. I had access to his files.
We all did that worked there. So he wasn't.
This is his first meal, knew what it was.
What? Pudding pops, I shit you not.
He knew. He knew what he was doing.
Like he was just like, oh, I'm going to make it.

(29:00):
Yeah. But it also was kind of like,
yeah, that's what I want. Yeah, yeah.
So the other thing I can tell you, so he got hit in the face
of the hot dog and he got put into isolation and that's where
he remained. And at that point in time, my
Superintendent and everybody else said if you look at his
files any further, we will be fired.

(29:21):
So I don't know anything else. But like, yeah, it was crazy.
We all were checking every day. Like, what's Cosby up to?
What's he, what's going on in the prison for him?
I'm like, but you ain't going todo this for everybody else, you
know what I mean? Like why is he getting special
treatment? You know, before he got put in
the isolation, he was at the child hall doing stand up to

(29:42):
them, to all the people. And it was actually crushing.
Probably. It was crushing.
You get convicted of something you're not guilty of.
Yeah, well, every inmate. Oh, I'm not guilty either.
You would think at a certain point, once you're already in
jail, be like, all right, guys, you got me.
Like once you confess, you're already in jail.
They can't tack on anything. Yeah, you know what I mean?

(30:05):
Like you're already in there. Like if you actually did it,
just be like, all right, I did it.
Yeah, completely. I know he did.
I know. Like he definitely did.
I actually heard rumors about him when I was starting to do
comedy up here in 2011. There is other senior comics who
mentioned the rumors about you know what he was doing.
So I remember I met. So I met, I was in, I was in

(30:28):
Nashville and I met Sheriff Little from he was on Dukes of
Hazzard and he said that he worked with Bill Cosby one time.
He goes, I am a trained actor and he goes, he goes.
He came in and was like trying to bully everybody on the set
kind of thing, 'cause I'm a big comedian, whatever.
And he goes, he tried to, like, say something about his acting

(30:49):
skills. He goes, Sir, I am a trained
actor. You're just a comedian.
Like, he shut him down. And he was like, I didn't get to
work with him much after that, 'cause he's like, you know,
yeah. He's like, I don't care.
He goes. He was just being a Dick.
So what? So think of it this way, too.
You know The Cosby Show? He was a gynecologist.
And then we, we know. We know now.

(31:11):
His wife was a lawyer, too. Yeah.
So like, hey, in case he gets caught, she's there to bail him
out. He he developed that show too.
So like there has to be he thereis an irony involved in that
right there. You know, I want to be a
gynecologist on this show. OK, Bill.
All right. Yeah, like you could have been
anything, Yeah. Anything.

(31:32):
Anything but you. You.
Could've just been a doctor. Didn't have to go into details
of what kind of doctor. Just a doctor, no?
One cares on a sitcom. That's what I'm saying.
Like there's sometimes you're watching a movie you're like,
and you start thinking about thewriting process like how did how
did you guys pitch this? Like like any type of movie?
Like for instance, like any movie that has a sex scene in

(31:53):
it. How do you write in a sex scene?
Like without someone just being like you're you mean to tell me
someone on that writing staff's not somewhat perverted.
Yeah, like why was this necessary in this sequence?
Yeah, they could have been like,oh, yeah.
And they kiss and yeah, it moveson.
Yeah, you need that scene in there.
Even in the other part too, you could have them making out and
then they flop onto the bed and then it pans out and then you

(32:16):
get it. Yeah.
I just feel like they're, they're some somewhere somebody
is going. This is what I wanted.
Like someone's like in the creative province, like I got
what I wanted. Yeah.
I got to see titties. I got.
I'm excited. Like that's that was his move.
I. Don't even know if they get to
see it 'cause I know they do closed sets so they're even even
there. Yeah, but they get to watch

(32:37):
footage anyway. That's true, yeah.
In the editing room, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
It's just something I was thinking about.
Like who? Think like who?
Like 'cause I'm like, if I'm writing something, it's like it
never crossed my mind to add that in.
Yeah, Only I could think of would be if like you're
portraying like a person who's like, you know, a prostitute and
you're trying to get in the bowels of what is what she's

(32:59):
seen and going through. Maybe at that point, then yeah.
Because if you do cutaways, you're not seeing the full
damage of what she goes through to to her own body.
Yeah, like, it's weird, like when you're watching like, like,
for instance, Taxi Driver, like Jodie Foster's 12.
Oh fuck I forgot about that. She's 12.
Yeah, this is weird. Why are we doing this?
Shit, there's that. What?

(33:20):
Was there one that was? Was it Laguna Beach or
something? Oh, the Blue Lagoon.
Blue Lagoon. Yeah, that one's actually like
that one's like. Yeah, I never saw.
No one in jail for this? Yeah.
How is this movie even allowed to be put out?
I remember that Romeo and Julietmovie from the IT was the 60s or
70s where I forget the girl's name but she was only 60.

(33:42):
In time you used to see full tits and I don't know where I
saw it from. In junior high, we were reading
the book and she played that movie.
Yeah, I remember reading the thesame, probably the same English
book. Yeah.
And then and then I remember she's remember the teacher like
we're all grown-ups here. And I didn't know at that time,
but that. Was you're assuming?
Oh yeah, she's probably 18, you know?

(34:03):
But now as an adult I know like she was 16 at the time showing
full tits. I was like that is.
You get forced to do that stuff too, I heard.
Was it? Was it Quentin Tarantino was on
he was talking about Randall Park that he got cancelled like
in the 60s because he stood up to a director 'cause they were
shooting Adam and Eve and he's like, I want full nude.

(34:24):
And they're like, well, you guyscan't show full nude.
So what's the purpose of us being naked if you're not going
to see us anyway? And it was just like, you're
just being a weirdo for you justwant to see you're naked cause
like it's who they cast as Eve or whatever.
And like because he stood up to the director, he was labeled
difficult to work with. It's like a lot of his jobs got

(34:44):
yeah. And it's like, oh, of course
that's what we're doing here, like.
If you want that, you could go to the set of Caliglia.
Caliglia, I think I'm saying it right.
Yeah, that's a hard one to know.Yeah, that's a very.
Wordy like Caligula, whatever. Yeah, you're like, you guys are
Italian. Why did you come up with this?
That was crazy that apparently they even hired porn stars
during that whole origin. I never even seen the movie.

(35:06):
All I know is like some of the movie.
So if I even haven't seen the movie, I'll read a shit about a
movie. I'll read it on Wikipedia and
just like research and like, look at it.
I even never seen it, you know, and I'd never seen that movie.
But I've read all about it though.
Oh yeah. And like, I like how all the
actors did, had no idea. All that other stuff was like
they had like a general idea, but they're like, Oh yeah, that

(35:27):
stuff wasn't in there. We we weren't around for that.
They added that stuff in. Yeah, it's crazy, all these
porno people and from it. Well dude, it was the day of
that picture of like people lined up going to the movie
theater to go see a porno movie in the theater.
Oh yeah. Like I guess we're almost at
that point with movies like Saltburn being made.
Like that's weird. I never saw it.

(35:49):
I know about though, but I neversaw it.
And so I'm like, yeah, I'm good.I don't need to and.
And talk about even, and this isso talk about a movie I never
saw. So like I always like to like,
all right. So some people may not like to
read what a movie's about beforethey go and see it.
I'm not that way. I love like spoilers.
I love checking it all out. Like I never saw Macaulay
Culkins, The good son, never sawit, but after reading it.

(36:11):
But I was like, I don't know if I want to watch my Home alone
dude. I liked a lot like murdering
other people. I've been cool with that.
Yeah, and it's like he plays a really good villain too, because
I've seen it, I've seen like thethe ending, OK, like it's one
of. Those.
But yeah, I've seen the clips ofthe ending where the bomb Let's
Go FM goes after Elijah Wood. Yeah.
And that's, I think it's Jamie Lee Curtis, right?

(36:31):
No, I don't know. Don't quote me that I'm not
sure. I can't remember.
I don't know who it is. It's, it's weird, I was thinking
like it's either her or the mom from Home Alone.
And I was like, Nah, that's too.Obvious that's not her.
I am not sure who it is. How about like she's like, been
killing it lately with like the roles that she's been given?
Oh yeah, you talk about the mom from Home Alone.

(36:55):
Yeah, we just watched Finished up the studio with Seth Rogen,
and she's in that too. I haven't watched that yet, I
heard it's hilarious. Though it's really good,
especially if you are up to dateon like celebrities and like
what like the movie culture is nowadays.
Like they have to go very deep into like behind the scenes
stuff. It's pretty crazy.

(37:15):
I've even seen like Seth Rogen. So he's took a lot because he
plays a studio head. So he took a lot of direction
from like what he went through with other studio heads and he
put a smorgasbord of them in. But some of them have called him
out and like I know that part was about me.
Oh yeah, well, he was because hewas watching.
I think he, he was telling a story about Superbad and he said

(37:36):
the character. They said the character Seth
cannot play a PlayStation two. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like you can have PlayStation products, but we don't want him
playing it. And they're like, why?
He's too shitty of a character. And they're like, hey, do you
know that character's based on me?
Right. Like, yeah, like they're telling
him this. He's like I wrote the character
about me, like. Yeah, they wrote that movie.

(37:57):
Him and his writing partner, Evan Goldberg, wrote that movie
in their teens. I'm sure they obviously updated
it and everything, but like, yeah.
And those guys are crushing, like every adaptation they're
given. Oh my God, I even, I even like
the boys. The new Turtles movie.
I want to see that with my kids.I'm like, I actually really
liked this. It was funny, it was cool.
I was like protesting it, 'causeI'm like, this is dumb, why are
we doing this? And then like I watched like

(38:20):
everybody was like, this is movie surprisingly good.
Yeah. And then it was like on
Paramount Plus and I watched it.It was like, this was actually
really good. It was.
I was very surprised by because I'm I'm such an I grew up with
the 87 turtles, so I have a special place in my heart with
those ones And and I just, I never even liked any incarnation
since then. I'm just sort of like that, you
know, my childhood don't stop atmy childhood.

(38:42):
And I I know that sounds like a stupid adult to say that, but
like. My favorite thing to do is to
ruin Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, too, for everybody.
Like I, there's a comedian in Pittsburgh, Julian Atwater, that
I, I told him this and he's like, no way.
I think it was him. I told him I was like, if you
watch turtles too, they don't fight with their weapons.

(39:03):
They don't. And they're like, no, I was
like, yeah, so go back and watchit.
And every time they beat everybody up.
It's like with other things, anything but their weapons
because they weren't allowed. Yeah, parent to me.
Parents were pissed off from thefirst movie, so it was too
violent for kids, so they cut itfor the sequel.
First movie rocks. That still rocks this day.
It's like it holds up even with the the turtle suits on.

(39:26):
Like how did you guys screw up asequel to this?
And to me, from everything I've read, it was just what happened
with that is they had to tame itdown so much because of backlash
from parents. Which I'm like, hey, you took
your kids to see the movie, it'snot my problem.
Well, to they they if I never read the original comics from
that, but apparently the original comics were that dark.
Oh yeah. So they mixed a little bit of

(39:48):
the cartoon and the comic book, and the result was the first
movie. Yeah.
And that movie, like they're, I think they said it was the
highest grossing independent film at that time.
Oh, wow. I didn't.
I didn't. Yeah, that's cool.
Because it was like nobody wanted to touch it.
Because, like, who's going to watch a movie about Kung Fu
turtles? A lot of people did that when I
was such a kid. Man that movie was on repeat on

(40:09):
my VHS player a lot. Yeah, that one's good.
The second one's like passable because you can kind of like
ignore a lot of things and yeah,don't like, you know, you got
Vanilla Ice in there. Makes it ice.
What was that song? Go Ninja, Go ninja go.
Yep, Yep, I have that. I hate to say if I own that
song, I do. It's it's part of my childhood,
man. I'll own it.
Yeah, that's a good song. And then you had the Knock Off

(40:32):
Bebop and Rocksteady. Toca and Razar or something
like. That, yeah, yeah.
And then Super Shredder. That right there pisses me off
because I thought was a cool concept that was done so
quickly. Like he shows up and 5 minutes
later he's defeated. Like that should have been more
of Super Shredder. Yeah, honestly.
And then it's Kevin Nash. Yeah, that's the fun part is

(40:54):
like, Oh yeah, it's Kevin Nash. Yeah.
Have you ever seen, have you ever like, seen him in other
things before? No, he's in like the first John
Wick. I must have missed that.
Yeah, I watched. That he's the Russian guard,
that when he shows up to the barand he, like, lets him go and
he's like, thank you, Mr. Wick. And he walks away.
Wait, is he the guy in the Punisher movie with Thomas Jane?

(41:19):
Yeah, yeah. And he, we actually got stabbed
by accident and they still kept rolling.
Yeah. Oh, shit.
OK. Yeah, then yes.
Yeah, I've met. I've met him at Comic Con, like
a couple. I met him twice.
He came with Scott Hall the first time.
And then they were check it. They were.
They were making comments about some girl dressed as Wonder
Woman that she walked by. That was nice.
They're like, Oh yeah, guys, we're going to walk away from

(41:41):
this one. Oh dude, I've been to your guy
since comic cons here and there are some interesting girls that
dress a certain way, you know? Oh yeah, I'm like.
That's the reason why Psylocke'smy favorite X-Men now.
Like, once you see that outfit in person, you're like, you know
what? Yeah.
Yeah, I brought my kids the one time and my wife's like how many

(42:01):
girls are walking around like almost nude?
I'm like, I did not know this happened here.
That's. When you're just like, I don't
know what you're talking about. Nothing.
What are you referring to? Please if you see something like
this, you need to tell me this so I know to be aware 'cause I.
Have not seen anything. My God, that is disgraceful.
Look at. Look at that again.
Oh my God, look. At that Jesus.

(42:23):
Look at that with that G string.Hangs right there.
Oh my goodness, God gracious. Oh my God.
You know, I'm going to take a photo of this here later.
I'm going to report this to somebody.
I don't, I don't know where, butI'm just going to hang on one
second. Yeah, don't worry.
But it's not going into the cloud, I swear.
No, no, it's not. Not completely.
No, no, no. Yeah, there was.
Secret Service somewhere in Switzerland that we don't ask
questions about. Yeah, she's my favorite Mortal

(42:45):
Kombat character. I just want to get a picture
right here, just just in a certain spot right here.
Can we just get a picture? Yeah.
Yeah, Oh, dude, there's and there's then for every good
Harley Quinn, you see, there's like 10 bad ones, like ones
where you're like hoof, like like they're the ones that like
they idolize the Harley Quinn Joker relationship because

(43:06):
they're single and don't realizethat hey, listen, he will kill
you. Like it's a toxic relationship.
I'm not sure you understood thatpart of it.
You just see the romanticizing part.
Yeah, I feel like dating in your30s is dating everyone who got
into a relationship after the Suicide Squad movie.
I dude, I am so glad I am married because I can only

(43:27):
imagine like I've only been married for almost 20 years here
soon. So it's great because I all I
hear about from all you guys aresingle and 30s and going through
everything. It's like shit.
Well, it's like, because you do,because it's like you do meet
someones or it's like they come out of bad relationships and
you're like, you do feel bad forthem, but then it's like, oh, I
feel like I'm, you're just a pitstop.
Yeah, 'cause like you have a nice date with them and I'm

(43:48):
like, OK, cool. And then like, you'll go on a
second date and then nothing. Or like, you know, they're just
like, oh, I'm not really ready for another relationship.
And you're like, why did you geton?
Like, why did you even come out?Like I don't get it but.
I you know what? I'm glad I'm again.
I don't have to worry about thatshit, man.
I got, as they said in Lonely Allen, I got that pussy on luck.

(44:12):
So yeah, it's. Fair.
Yeah, I'm good to go, man. Dude, I had a hilarious thing to
happen to me that I don't know if I can tell the story yet.
It's one of those, like I, it's still a work in progress.
OK, I got you. But it's just a wild thing that
happened that was just like, I can't believe this was like, I

(44:33):
can't believe this happened. And you're like, you're kind of
impressed with yourself, Like, oh, OK.
Yeah, well, I, I, you know what a nervous is, Sorry.
So I don't know if you're going to tell the story or not, but I
I'll tell you something though, So something that I had alright.
So I don't know how many times that open mic since you've ever

(44:54):
had anybody that they got kickedout.
I don't know if you've been in part of anyone getting kicked
out yet, like banned from open mic yet or you've seen it
happen. I've seen.
People get banned. I've heard of people.
I've never seen it actively happen like you're banned, get
off the thing. So I've never seen this in my
life. I'm sure you've probably never
seen this yet either. So there was this dude who he

(45:15):
showed up at the open mic in town and he asked for if we have
the he could connect to the Bluetooth and then gave that to
him and he started playing. He pre recorded his bit.
So he pressed that. It's going with the speakers
he's talking about. He's not, it wasn't even black,
but he was talking about how hisbig black Dick and everything.
And as he's doing it, he's putting blackface on.
Yeah, yeah. We were all like, what the fuck

(45:38):
is going on right now? And the owner of the bar goes
up, pulls him off the stage is like kicks him out immediately.
The best part is he's a hippie. He's been blown to a drum
circle. Like what have?
What's going on here with this contrast?
Dude, listen, man, just when youthink hippies are the safe ones,
yeah, 'cause you're like, oh, peace and love.
Obviously these guys are going to be normal.

(46:01):
You meet. I was in, I was, I was working
like camera for like the, a rodeo or something.
So I was checking out this booththey had like this guy was
selling knives or whatever. And I, I bought a knife.
It's like, all right, this is cool.
Like, you know, the cool little thing.
And I was talking to him. He was like, yeah, I do stand up
in Pittsburgh. He's like, oh, yeah, that's
awesome. And he's like, man, I don't know
how you do all these jokes. He's like with all the and he

(46:22):
just says the N word like openly.
And I was like, why did you feelcomfortable with me enough to
say, well, you could say that like.
If he's doing that with a stranger and it wasn't, he's
doing his own life with people he knows.
But. As I'm saying, this guy had tie
dye shirt on like just like, youknow, openly admits, like yeah,
I smoke a lot of weed and I was like, oh, OK, cool dude.

(46:42):
And like, yeah, he's like, hey, I do mushrooms.
Yeah, I'm like. But then he just drops, like,
slurs, like, left and right. And it was like, that's insane
to me that you felt comfortable enough to tell me this.
My God. Yeah, yeah.
And I was just like, I'm just going to walk away now because I
don't know how to how to handle this situation because I've, you
know, I'm not prepared for this.They're called black people or

(47:05):
African American or, or just saya person.
Yeah. Just say a person.
You know you don't have to go that route.
Yeah, we don't have to. No, we don't have to go that
low. You don't.
All right, So because the town Ilive in, I don't you don't know
if you know this or not, but it's a huge KKK scene huge like
that. So at the open mics and shows

(47:27):
I've been working on like jokes,making fun of them, it has not
been going well. I imagine it.
It has not. Like I said at recently, at one
of the jokes at a show recently where I said, you know that the
husbands of or wives of claim members are called klutz and the
wives themselves are called cunts.
And this woman goes gasped immediately and I just, I broke

(47:53):
character. I just, I just said out loud the
microphone like fuck you, fuck your beliefs, fuck what you feel
you're fucking wrong. And the whole and the audience
just goes quiet. And that for like a pause.
I was like, OK, let's start the comedy again.
And I went back to telling jokes.
But yeah. That's one of the, that's one of
those ones when you're like, andthat's when I realized I was
hosting an open mic at a fan barand you're just like, Oh no.

(48:18):
Yeah, so my wife, she's like, how about you tell those jokes
outside this town? She's like when she's like, I'm
afraid some skinheads gonna findher house like that.
Yeah, you just be like I'm building a wall with every brick
that's been thrown through my window.
Exactly. We're gonna start 1-2.
Yeah, Here we go. Yeah.
He just started like I built a castle.
That's amazing. I have a milk going now, so yes,

(48:41):
good luck. Yeah.
Oh my God. Yeah, actually the pocket, cause
the girl I just did the podcast with before I came here, she is
actually born and raised from Altoona.
So that's how she kind of connected that with me and she's
like, how would you describe Altoona?
I was like very open minded. How many times do you do people
act like make a tuna joke about Altoona?

(49:04):
It's name or now it's more LuigiMangione because he got caught
there. Yeah, everybody don't.
Everybody avoids Altoona now because like, Oh no, we got
snitches here. Like, Oh my God, yeah.
So that's. Snitches and framed hitman I
think. Yes, yeah, with there's also two

(49:24):
areas that unsolved cold case murder, murder mystery fawn
there, there is quite some crazystuff up there, man.
You guys are based like Silent Hill.
Yeah, pretty much. I think it's based on the town
from around Altoona. No, it's.
Oh, oh God, you're going to makeI'm forgetting now.
It's a town that so the Colt so underneath the mines caught fire

(49:47):
and smoke came up through the town and it wasn't safe.
So everyone in the village or Talamine left except for a
couple of people. They stayed their ground because
every at a point your it, it could collapse, your house would
collapse. So but they stayed.
But it's it's still smoking. It still has that misty fog and
everything else like that. That's what that town's based
off of the Silent Hill. I thought it was like towards

(50:09):
Altoona though. No, it's further away.
Actually it's like 3 hours away from Altoona.
Can you imagine going there now and then, like of course, that's
the time you used to take a stepon the street and it collapses?
I know we thought about prior tokids me and my wife wanted to do
like go visit like ghost towns around the Pennsylvania.
We thought about that. That's where our thought was
too. We're like, what if we were the
people that were just, hey, thisis interesting and just.

(50:30):
Well, like people found like thetunnels, like where they filmed,
like the road. Oh yeah.
See the road? Yeah, like they found those
tunnels and stuff and like people were exploring those.
Yes, we did that. We're oh crap, I forget where it
is right now. A friend showed it to me and I
took my wife up there a few years ago because it was so when

(50:50):
we both worked for the state or day jobs.
So like we do this one day year that they were in school and we
are off and that is Columbus Daybecause schools don't celebrate
that anymore, but the state does.
So it's our only day we get where there's no kids.
So we took a drive up there and explore the tunnels and
everything. It was pretty cool.
But that will say there was a lot of spray paints of Dicks.

(51:12):
So many. Oh, really?
So. It's like, it's like they just
took every single piece from thehighway that lead that, the
abandoned Hwy. that leads to it and all of the tunnels and
everything else like that. It's there's Dicks everywhere.
Everywhere. Yeah, there's all.
You can always expect one anytime there's graffiti if you
look close enough. I guarantee you somewhere, some

(51:35):
somehow there's a little tiny Dick drawn somewhere.
You don't see if if it's not big, huge and glaring, there's a
tiny one drawn somewhere. Dude, I lost count at 60
something and we were still going and they're all brand new.
All leading up to it, inside of the tunnel, everything.
It was crazy. Which stopped counting.
There's just too many. Which is funny because like

(51:55):
every time you watch TV and theyshow like a graffiti area, like
you never see him on TV. I'm.
Like, come on. Yeah, Yeah, that's a lie.
Yeah, come on, be real. There's more Dicks than that.
Completely way more Dicks in real life, yeah.
That's why I was like, I was watching, OK, so I'm watching
Righteous Gemstones. I'm like, wow, this show has a
lot of Dick in it. They purposely do that Danny
McBride finds a hilarious to putDicks in there.

(52:15):
He just he said about that did. You see, when he went on Theo
Von's, he gave him the laser pointer and it shot a little
laser. Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I remember.
Yeah. Yeah, I saw that.
Yeah. I love his sense of humor,
'cause it's just like stupid shit.
Like it's Oh yeah, Stuff that you'd find funny in middle
school. Yeah.
And you're just like, yeah, it'sstill funny.
It is funny, I even liked I knowpeople didn't like his movie
Your Highness. I never watched it.

(52:37):
So it's like Lord of the Rings asked but like very dirty and
his stuff, like it's called stoners and everything.
And there is a scene where like a like a golem kind of like
character, like basically admitsthat he like molested Danny
McBride's character like that. And like, I'm surprised I kept
this in the movie, honestly. Oh, my God.

(52:58):
Is there that or is James Franco's one of the two there,
Damien Bragg or James Franco? And it was just so off the cuff.
I'm surprised I kept it in there.
I I do like, I miss like when comedy movies like we're still
being made. Oh yeah, one of the last good
ones I saw. Like in the movie theater I
would say had to be Mike and Dave.
Me and need wedding dates. I saw that not in theater, but I

(53:19):
saw that on rental, yeah. Yeah, that one was I thought was
funny. Like you get ones like that and
you're like, well, you guys are still making them.
I know it's. Just what do you do?
Like it feels like they go straight to streaming now.
Like you never see that in theaters now.
The only one I I saw recently coming out was it was Seth Rogen
and Aziz. And sorry, there's it's coming
out in the fall and it has to start Kiona Reeves in it too.

(53:41):
Oh yeah, I did see that. One, he's like Gabriel and he
tries. He switches lies with several
records. Character has money, Aziz does
not. They switched their lives and he
thought that would change like Aziz character Gabriel did and
it doesn't. He likes it too much and he gets
banned from heaven and he's stuck on earth.
Nice. Which honestly, I was like, it's
kind of like my idea when I wrote a script called Timothy's

(54:04):
son of God. And it's basically like Jesus
doesn't want like Satan and the world's coming and Jesus does
not want to come back. He doesn't want to do it.
He has PTSD from the crucifixion.
So God calls upon the other son,which named Timothy, which has
been banned from the Bible. All the stuff because I wrote it
in the vein of Danny McBride, like it's supposed to be just
like him. And, and, and so we, so me and

(54:25):
my writing partner, actually, according to his agent, we got
it to Danny McBride. Know whether he read it or not
or just sat in a pile or just got right to the shredder, I
have no idea. But we did get it to him.
We wrote it for for him. But then again, he's doing
righteous Gemstones. So it's kind of like, does he
want to do another religious thing?
Yeah, I mean, that's true, but it also like you never know.

(54:46):
But he like it's weird how he said it.
Like, yeah, this is Four Seasonsand we're done.
Well, he all right, so there. Yes, that's true.
I just saw a thing from him saying how he was not happy.
Are you going to pause here? Yeah, I gotta check the camera
real quick. So what the keeper?
My wife technically anyways, too.
I'm certain that was her. Give me one SEC and we're back.

(55:09):
So all right, I did want to ask.What we were talking about when
we left. I do not remember now crap.
But I do have a question for youthough I was curious.
I would like to ask every comment like what's like what's
your writing process like for you?
And I'm like, how do you decide to to do things?
Cut things down, figure it all out?
I don't know really, because it's like a part of me just

(55:30):
like, because a part like I don't like write everything out.
Like I just write like I'll havea topic and I'll put bullet
points in it and I might like, if there's one thing that that
that stands out that like this, what makes it funny?
Yeah, I'll write that out and put that as the bullet point and
I would make sure I say that everything else is just one of

(55:50):
those. Yeah, we'll wing it and see how
we how I say it on stage. Do you record your sets to hear
back afterwards? See what?
OK, Yeah. Yeah, I have like every voice
recording, like promote almost every set.
I've done awesome just on my phone.
I used to do videos, I just do audio recordings.
Now it just feels, I don't know,it's a pain in the ass to go
through. That I don't want to set up a
video camera and then it fall over and then I can't use the

(56:13):
footage and it's just easier forme just to have the audio
recording. It is, but have you gotten used
to hearing your own voice that you're cool with that still?
That's the problem is I've recorded them, but I just don't
think I've listened to them because it's like I just can't
listen to my voice. It's just too, I don't even
listen to the podcast. Like I hate listening to them.

(56:35):
I hate listening to my own voice.
So when I shot the special last year, the editor, he's like, we
got to take this hour and 20 andgo narrow it down to 33 minutes.
I was like, OK, he's like, but it's up to you.
You're in charge of what you want to cut.
So I went through hours and hours of hearing my own voice.
I fucking hated it. Yeah, I hated it so much.

(56:55):
I really did. Like, I'm OK with like limited
doses, hearing my own voice. I'm OK with that.
And because I've done it with List me on sets, but like, in an
editing room, constantly whittling things down and like,
yeah, here it is. Now take this and find the right
angles and, you know, edit it together this way.
But like, hearing just my jokes over and over and over, my voice
over and over. I was just like, Oh my God, hey,
I don't find it funny anymore. And B, you know, my voice.

(57:17):
Oh crap, it sucked. Yeah, it's it's like, I don't
know. That's what I don't know.
I don't know. When did when do you comics do
you think mostly like like when they usually like?
What year do they film their special?
I don't. It's just a very 'cause there
are some people who are big names in Hollywood that still

(57:38):
never filmed a special yet. Oh, really?
Like Bobby, Leave never filmed aspecial yet.
Oh, that's right. He's never done it.
He's been around 90s. He's been, he's been getting
cast in like a lot of stuff too,I've noticed.
I think that podcast really helped him out a lot.
Yeah, it did help him out, honestly.
Yeah, like just them shit talking to each other the whole

(57:58):
time, which is what kind of blewhim up.
And like, oh, he has credits. Like he did act.
Yeah, he did. He was on Mad TV for a while,
you know. And they also have to be nicer
to him because he just, he does call people out.
Yeah, he does. That story about when he said
that guy, the one director screamed in his face.
I did not see that one. He was talking about he did the
one movie and the guys, the guy screamed in his face and

(58:20):
basically like said a bunch of things about him being Asian and
he was like trying not to cry. And he I think he kind of leaned
like it was I could be wrong. I thought he leaned like it was
almost like it was Michael Bay maybe or someone like that.
That would make sense, yeah. It would.
And it was one of those like, yeah, he got his feelings hurt.
And I was like, yeah, that's that's pretty rough.

(58:42):
I couldn't. I wouldn't want to work on a set
with somebody just screaming like that all the time.
And I've read stories about people, toxic directors and
stuff like that, or just like screaming in your face.
Like Joss Whedon. I heard about how crazy he was,
just so insane and screaming andmanipulative and just like you
know, and also you see the otherstories some people like he was

(59:03):
great to me. Now, are you telling the truth
or was maybe just sometimes somepeople just don't get victimized
like the other people did. I don't know.
Yeah, that's a good point. I, I look, especially having
kids has really taught me that Igot to see both sides of the
story because he's like, you know, I have two boys and like
one will say he did this to me. He said this.

(59:25):
I can't be, you know, when you're as a new parent, you like
go away and like, stop doing that.
And then and you found that the layer from you're OK.
Well, actually, this is what happened.
You feel like crap because you're like, oh, I didn't know
he did that, which caused you toretaliate, which you should have
done. But it may look like that you
started everything and you were the asshole.
So you have to hear both sides of the story.
Piece it together. Yeah, 'cause like you hear like,

(59:46):
yeah, 'cause that's The thing isyou hear some of the story and
you're like, wait a minute, whathappened that led up to this?
And then when you start hearing both sides of the story, then
you're like, OK, one person's right, you know someone's right
and the other one's not. And sometimes it could be even.
Just miscommunication that caused the argument, like both
were wrong and then just they'reboth taking out each other

(01:00:07):
because one person perceived it this way, the other person
perceived it that way, and they're fighting each other
saying shit they didn't mean andit causes a fallout.
Yeah, 'cause I felt like I, I don't know what happened, that
Blake Lively thing, because remember, that was a big deal.
Still is. It's still in court.
Yeah, and it's like no one's admitting whether like, was he

(01:00:28):
just being a nice guy or was he actually being a Dick?
No one really knows for sure 'cause like he presents evidence
that proves his side and then they pursue this evidence that
it's almost like maybe you guys were both kind of being this
way. I that's why, that's why I made
that miscommunication statement.I think that was a big
miscommunication from both parties and both were perceived

(01:00:50):
in different ways and it just called this causes whole
fallout. Yeah, I think they should just
be like, you know what? I would laugh for like the next
judge who goes, you know what? You guys are both stupid and you
should both leave like, yeah, completely.
Yeah. Like I used to love Katy Perry
and she went downhill and I'm like.
Oh yeah, I actually liked her music too.

(01:01:10):
I just wish she looked. And like, well, yeah, it's like
I had a crush on her, you know? And then also her music was
good, too. But then it was like she just
went crazy and everybody's like,Oh yeah, it's after she went
down. Like, Nah, she got.
She was on a declining for a while.
Yeah. It's like you're just now
starting to see where it's actually how crazy she is.

(01:01:30):
It's. Like Kanye West, I feel like you
can only hide it for so long andeventually at some point with
all that stardom, all that money, you just, it just starts
creeping up. It's just like, it's people not
handling stardom very well. Like, they just end up, it ends
up going to their head. Like, you know, look at Will
Smith. Will Smith, he was like on
another level of fame where he thinks he was untouched.

(01:01:51):
Oh, yeah. So that's why he was like, yeah,
I'm going to slap you. And no one's going to say
nothing to me because it's this.I'm Hollywood elite.
What are you going to do? This is the second time Will
Smith has come up on the podcastin recent weeks.
Well, he had that run in the 90sman, those movies, Fresh Prince
of Bel Air and then he then he had the wild Wild West and that

(01:02:12):
was his first crash and failed. Yeah, that was a rough one.
And then really, you really didn't have that many after that
that were good. That was his big bomb.
Yeah, cuz yeah, well, it's funny.
So I had a buddy of mine talkingabout I like I robot.
Yeah, I like I robot. I really do.
And I was just like, yeah, but it's basically just a Will Smith
movie. Yes, it's very much, I mean it's

(01:02:34):
a good movie, but it's Will Smith movie.
And I was like, but if you're actually looking for a good
sci-fi movie, go watch the OuterLimits episode it's based off
of. I didn't know it's based off of
not a limits of its own. Interesting.
I think it's, I think the original guy, and I had to
double check this, I think it's Leonard Nimoy is the doctor or
he's the detective I think in the original.

(01:02:56):
Yeah, I didn't know about that. That's interesting.
Like fun factoids like that. Yeah, because, I mean, there's a
bunch of those, like, because all those things were based on
short stories, like a lot of these old westerns and stuff.
Like these stories were already written from a book and they
just said, oh, we'll just put the main actor in and swap out
their main actor or the main character with ours.

(01:03:19):
And we already have the story. We just, you know, adapt it to
what we need for our format. Well, you know that movie
Airplane? Do you know how that was
verbatim another movie and they just stopped in like the funny
lines, but they changed nothing about the original concept of a
movie. You could I forget what it was
called, but the Zucker brothers watched this movie and they

(01:03:43):
thought this is hilarious. This could be like they did this
seriously. And if you just tweaked a few.
Things I watched that I've seen,I, I, they were showing like the
comparison video, Yeah. And it was like, the same
dialogue, the same storyline, everything except like, you
know, just jokes thrown in. Yeah, it's crazy.
I was like, I'd never would havethought of that.

(01:04:04):
That's pretty cool. I, I, I am a fan of Zucker
Brothers. I do like a lot of their parody
movies how they've done. Now I am interested in seeing
the reboot of The Naked Gun withLiam Neeson in the role.
Yeah. I don't know how that's going to
go. I'm just, I'm kind of nervous on
that one just cause like the trailer did make me laugh, yes,

(01:04:27):
but it only made me laugh at onepart.
The OJ part. That OJ part at the end when he
gets when you just see him look at the camera go no, like we're
not even going to address it. You already know why it was
hilarious. Just that that way of just
looking at the audience like, you know, we're not going to
mention OJ. You already know this is I was

(01:04:48):
going to and you know why we're not going to mention him too.
Somewhere out there, Norm MacDonald was smiling upon that
moment. If he was alive, he would have
gladly taken part of that joke. I know he gladly would have like
been like, yeah, I can't wait tocommit murder.
Like, as a yeah, as a police former you.
Ever see it was one called me doing stand up.

(01:05:11):
I just listened to it recently. Where is he talked about OJ at
the end, because that's what theaudience wants him to talk
about. He mentioned and then that's
this closing piece and he said, you know, he's like, he's like,
I'm going to be fair to OJ, I still don't think that you
should have gone to jail for stealing your own shit and
everything. He's like, so, you know, you're
being kind of a hypocrite when you do it like that.
Yeah, you know, but really, he'sgetting, he's going to jail for

(01:05:32):
like what he did originally. Yeah.
Because that's all it was. He's like his line was like you
shouldn't get 3 lifetime sentences for stealing your own
shirts. But murder, now that's, oh, we
corrected it. All is right in the universe.
That was one where the universe had to correct itself in a
little bit. Like, OK, we messed that one up.
We got it though. Oh, yeah.

(01:05:54):
And then after he got it quitted, he had that joke.
Like if I did do it, that that book, if I did do it, it's like,
what is this? You like trolling everybody?
Did you ever watch the, the there was the one SNL where it
was Tim Meadows, where he was like drawing, like he was, he
was playing OJ and like on yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's
drawn. I did it in the formation on the

(01:06:15):
screen. Yes, Oh my God, I just love how
relentless Norm was with OJ it. It's the best, like he just was
every every day, just right there on him.
Yeah, and, and, and that's what got him fired.
Yeah, 'cause Don Olenmeyer was friends with OJ, he was the
president of NBC and did not want, he told Boring to have him

(01:06:37):
stop doing that. Have you watched the Saturday
Night movie yet? Yes, I did.
Yeah, I liked that a lot. I thought it was cool.
My brother was like, I thought they were going to do the
sketches. I'm like, why?
It's all about what led up to that night.
Like they're not going to do thesketches.
Like that's the whole point of the movie.

(01:06:57):
Like if you want to find out what happens, go watch the show.
Like I like the story. I mean I heard they kind of like
compiled some. Stories together, yes, it did
all didn't happen that night before when you see the movie,
but they made it look like that,which made for a more convincing
movie. But all those stories are true
are that they did in that night,you know, leaving John.

(01:07:19):
Yeah, John Belushi leaving and not wanting to be a part of this
and having to find him and like getting the sign.
Yeah, I think they said the onlything they kind of like, they
kind of fabricated a little bit was they put a scene in between
Gilda and Belushi. Cuz those are the ones who do,
the two that died, the youngest.Yeah.
So they were kind of like they wanted to have a moment being

(01:07:41):
like, yeah, they die later. Like almost like.
But this is them talking about mortality I guess.
Yeah, I know they. Probably never actually had that
conversation. Maybe, maybe not.
I know like even that whole the Milton Berle and Chevy Chase
scene was like almost word for word as to how it went down back
in the heyday and that's what pissed Chevy Chase off.

(01:08:02):
They put that in the film. What a line, though, He goes.
If you're looking for my comeback, you can scrape it off
or your. You can wait and you can scrap
it off, scrape it off the back of my teeth or something.
I was like, Jesus. Yeah, like Milton Berle, like
this Mr. Like, you know, clean guy.
Yeah. And he just had some raunchy

(01:08:23):
comebacks, like. I heard behind the stories,
stories behind the scenes, excuse me, that he was very,
very raunchy, dude, Very raunchy.
But obviously back then, you know, they didn't do that stuff
publicly, just behind closed. Doors yeah.
I mean there's there's so many stories, like especially like
country singers because you always see like the the persona
they have on stage. Then you hear behind closed

(01:08:45):
doors they're actually a nightmare and it's like, oh
shit, like. I feel like there's so many
celebrities are like obviously everything I hear about Keanu
Reeves is like he's like an Angel behind closed doors.
Everything you read about that dude.
So that's a rare exception. I feel like everybody else is
like they got some weirdness butwe're all weird though 2 at the
same time. Yeah, Which I'm like, everyone's

(01:09:05):
got their own, like little weirdthing.
Yeah, everyone does. Like it's fine.
Diddy's is weirder than everybody else's, OK?
Yeah, that is very weird, man. It's a very weird.
That baby oil. My God, dude.
Then the weird part is when you're having the assistance and
they're coming out and they're telling their side of it and
you're like, this is not going good for you bud.

(01:09:28):
Like you're you're done. Diddy is done.
It's over for him. He's, he's going to jail no
matter what. Like at this point, you're just,
you're just like just sandbagging him with he's, he's
never going to get out of this. No, no, it's weird even hearing
that song. Bad boys for life now Diddy is
like, well, was that foreshadowing too?
I the Porter, are you just like,you know, like, is it another

(01:09:51):
Epstein? Is it not?
Who knows? I don't.
And sometimes it's just, hey, you know what bad shit's out
there, and sometimes the government doesn't know about
it. That's true like.
You know what I mean? Like, you would think, like, how
do they not know about this? I'm sure that it's like it's not
big on their radar. They have bigger fish to fry.
Oh, yeah. Like, yeah, this is fucked up

(01:10:12):
and this is an issue. But when you have wars going on
all across the globe. Terrorists actually want to blow
up America the fuck up. They're like, yeah, you got to
put some more eyes on that I. Get that you almost like, you
know, we have a task force. They're busy doing other shit.
Yeah, yeah. No, I get that.
I feel bad for it. Apparently Justin Bieber got the
wrong end of the deal. That that whole ditty thing and

(01:10:34):
like Jesus. Yeah, I mean, that's a everybody
feels bad for like ripping on Bieber now.
I did too because I would make fun.
I wasn't doing comedy at the time, stand up, but I behind
with my friends like I was ripping him apart.
And now I'm like, oh, maybe I should.
OK, never mind. I shouldn't have done that.
It's kind of like, what was it? Pablo Escobar had a bit where he

(01:10:56):
was making fun of Bieber like when he was making fun of pop
music. Pablo.
Pablo Escobar. No, not no, Pablo.
Pablo Consuelo No. Pablo Francisco.
Yes, Pablo Francisco. I just yeah.
Pablo Escobar. I like to know what his material
was. You know he got coke jokes.
Escobar did not die. He came back as a stand up
comedian. There you go.

(01:11:18):
That would be wild though. I mean, what if that was like
his version of the what was the Oscar one The about the drug
dealer that got the sex change and I forget.
Yeah, that's like his version, like where he except he I go do
comedy. Yeah, I would.
That would actually be really funny.
If they do like be cool, but if like I'm instead of doing coke,

(01:11:40):
I'm going to go do stand up. Speaking of which, I'm not going
to say, well, I do for my day job, but I talk a lot with the
public and this one guy, he's looking for help and he called
in. He's from Puerto Rico and he, I
have to ask the question where like, you know, are do you have

(01:12:02):
any felonies or anything like that you wanted, you know, blah,
blah, blah. And he's like not here in
America. He's like, I'm clean.
I'm very good, good model citizen.
I was like, OK, so are you? Yeah.
Were you applying at Puerto Rico?
You were like a drug Lord or something.
Like because he's kept going over, he goes over there.
But here in America, new new chapter, new life.

(01:12:25):
Yeah, but I'm like, hey man, like what's your record there?
So I know like. Yeah.
What's going on? I mean, hey, we have had
examples. Like, you know, hey, Nah, I
ain't gonna make that joke. It's just not going to go well
for me. There's some jokes you think of.
You're like, hey, it's like this.
And then you say it and everybody's like, you're stupid,
you know that, right? And like, yeah, I probably

(01:12:46):
shouldn't have said that. We all say stupid shit as
comedians, man. Well.
It's kind of like, you know, like there is instances where
people move to a new country andthen didn't do any more evil
shit. I was going to say maybe that's
what the you didn't really hear the Third Reich spark up in
South America anymore, But I still imagine some horrific shit

(01:13:08):
was done still like just under the.
I find that whole like Third Reich disbandedment ever of them
all moving into was Australia oror South America where did like
they that's. Where the movie that boys from
Brazil were Mangala moved to their his experiment.
That movie's fiction, I think. But.
But there's a guy, Josh Gates, Idon't know if you know who he

(01:13:30):
is. He had like the destination
truth and he had an expedition unknown is his most recent show.
He did one in 2014 fifteen wherehe found like a whenever they
lost the war, the law of the Mainehead people moved over in
this area and it was hard to find and he actually found it
was a breakthrough discovery on this private little island.

(01:13:52):
Maybe it was I think it was Austaround Australia somewhere.
It's a private little island around there where they found it
and it and there's all this Third Reich and everything else
like that. There's hidden doors and stuff.
It's like it's where a law that head last moved to.
Yeah, but it's like, why keep this going?
He's dead. I know.
Like that's, that's the other part.
It's like, hey, listen, he's dead, like.
The dream is over, man. I'm sorry.

(01:14:14):
It's done. That's.
What it's like, I I couldn't getin and watching the movie
Valkyrie because it's like, Oh yeah, it's a plot to assassinate
Hitler. I'm like, but you guys failed.
Why am I watching the movie? True.
Like same thing with The Great Escape.
Like I was like, I was so hyped to watch The Great Escape
because I'm like, oh, this greatelaborate scheme and then the
ending happens, which this couldbe my mangala effect, no.

(01:14:40):
Mandela Effect. Mandela Effect.
Yeah, it's different, different effect.
But no, like this could be my Mandela Effect because I thought
the original story was they escape the greatest escape.
They don't. They all get recaptured and then
are all shot by the s s. That's how that movie ends.

(01:15:00):
I never saw that movie. Great.
No, no, no, no, I'm not. You said that.
I'm just saying that. Great.
Like, oh, great. Like in a sense of like they've
just known a happy ending. They died.
There's no happy ending to that.It's one of those like, yeah,
their greatest contribute was that they escaped, which drove,
which diverted efforts from the front to go look for them.

(01:15:21):
So that's what they did. That was their whole point of
the mission, was they get caught, they have to escape.
Well, that's going to be German forces looking for them.
That's going to be less people fighting at the front.
They did equivalent of that and and our lives here would be
like, you leave your retail job and you go to a factory place,
it didn't work out and you go back to your retail job and you

(01:15:42):
spend the rest of your life working there.
Yeah, that's in some sense equivalent of that.
It's just it's beating out of you.
It's done. This is where you resolved to.
If that's the case, because, like, I did that for a little
bit. I worked retail when I first got
out of high school, worked in a factory and then went back to
retail because I went back to school.
Yeah. And like, I was just like, so,

(01:16:07):
like, frustrated because, like, anytime a customer would come to
you and they were bitching aboutsomething, I looked and like, I
really don't care. Like, I literally would give
them that answer. Like, I want to help you, but
since you're being a Dick, I kind of don't care because this
job means nothing to me. I could walk out of here right
now and I'd still be happy because I can go find a job
tomorrow because it's COVID. No one wants to work.

(01:16:28):
Yeah. Dude, when I, when I worked at
Sears for a long time there while I was in college, every
Black Friday you had to do like a, it was a mandatory, you had
to do a 20 hour shift on Black Friday.
So I was there really early for like, it was like, I forget how
was it? Jeez, I can't remember.

(01:16:48):
But the point being is that the end of the night, it was like 9
something at night. We closed at 10:00 and like 935
this guy comes up, he goes tell me about this TV and I just like
looked at him and I was like, 'cause I'm just burning out from
that day and it's like I just walked away and went and took a
shit instead. I didn't give a crap, no pun
intended. I did not care.

(01:17:10):
That's when you just look at theguy like I just don't care and
just walk away. It's like all day long I'm
trying to get because that was your big sales like you made so
much money that day off of the because you got Commission from
every TV. You sold out the department I
worked in. You made so much money.
Like I made 10 grand from that day.
Oh wow. But the problem is though, you

(01:17:32):
gotta be careful, a few weeks after it, people may like, hey,
they were in the moment and theysplurged and didn't want to and
they return. And then you see your, your
paychecks are to dwindle now. So that can happen too.
But like, I was just so tired telling them like, hey, This is
why this TV is so great. Let me do that.
And you're like, oh, fuck it, dude.
I'm just, I'm out. I'm done.
Yeah, there's just a point whereyou're just like, yeah, it's
good. Just just buy it.

(01:17:52):
Do you want to buy it? Yep.
Dude, there is a guy who if you act like you own something,
people will never question you. This dude went in because we
wore blue shirts and with with khaki pants and this guy just
walks in. I thought he was a new employee,
walked in, took the TV off the stand and walked right out and
then drove away. Security comes up to me.
He's like, Scott, did you see that?

(01:18:13):
I'm like, see what he's like. The guy that took the TV is
like, I thought a customer bought it because a lot of times
when you sell display models, you take it off yourself and you
take it out to the customer. I thought that's what he did.
Nope, never even worked there. He just some dude to walk right
up, stole the TV and we're out with it.
I mean, hey, that's the move. You're going to steal stuff,
Wait till Black Friday. Yeah, like, I'm not, I'm not a

(01:18:33):
criminal. But hey, if you're going to do
stuff. So many people you just can't
have eyes on everybody Well, again, that was then this is
this is like 2007, 2008, the different time the Internet
isn't the way it is now. You still had to go to stores to
get a lot of deals. Now you can just, I don't know
how it is, I'm not out there anymore.
But like, I'm sure it's probablynot the same.

(01:18:53):
Not the clusterfuck that it usually was.
No, now everything's kind of more.
It's weird. Everything can be done online.
So it's like why? Why even go to the store
anymore? Like I kind of miss.
It's weird. I walked around a mall and I got
nostalgic. Like those nostalgic walk around
a mall 'cause they're just it. It's a thing that doesn't exist
anymore. No, they're dying malls out to

(01:19:15):
those malls, dying everything. The only thing left is like
Victoria's Secret, JC Penney's and H&M.
The rest of it is just just. Empty stores and it's like, you
know, occasional pop ups. Now there's, you know, they're
opening gyms up in these little malls.
It's turning to a college is what it's turning into.
There is a college, a trade not for call them, we call them.

(01:19:38):
I can't think of Community College that has bought up a lot
of sections of that everything. And apparently UPMC wants to buy
a part of it too as well to turninto a health facility.
It's like it definitely malls. I wouldn't look like they were
man when we were growing up. Yeah, it's like, and then you
just, it was nice just to walk around the mall sometimes.
And now it's just like, yeah, the mall's just kind of dead.

(01:20:01):
It's kind of sad. Kind of grew up like me, dead
inside walking around. I've like getting older has like
really fucked me up. I was I dude, it's.
I have these thoughts a lot, honestly, about adulthood.
Even though I am a parent, I still have these thoughts, man.
Yeah. I was never prepared to grow up.
I never was. It's.

(01:20:21):
Weird. Like you're just like, you just
one day. Like, oh, yeah, this now you're
an adult, apparently. And you're like, when?
Yeah. When did this happen?
Like I still feel like I'm 25 and then I go out drinking and
realize that quickly I am not. I'll do.
Yeah, it's, it's a different thing.
Like I, we had a one liner comedy competition last night
and then I opened my ink and after that everyone hung out in

(01:20:43):
the parking lot and talked. I got home around like little
after 12:30. I'm usually asleep by 9:10.
I was like, fuck dude. Like I can't do that stuff
anymore. I'm not built for it anymore.
I woke up, I was out late last night.
I probably didn't go to sleep till around 4:00 in the morning.
Just damn sleep. And I was like just looking at

(01:21:04):
my phone watching Simpsons. And I woke up this morning, it
was like 730 and I was wide awake.
Don't know what happened. Like I was like, OK, we didn't
do any drugs last night, so we're good, but I'm wide awake
and it was just like, I cannot wait to go to sleep tonight
because it's going to be the best sleep.
And I can go right now right into Monday and I can start my

(01:21:26):
schedule right. And you're like, OK.
I feel that, man. I do feel that seriously,
because I couldn't fall asleep because you don't have time
after a show. You just get wired and I and the
brain doesn't talk because now I'm thinking like, oh, here's A
tag I could have said, but here's blah, blah, blah.
And I'm just like, it just won'tstop.
And then here it is 3 in the morning, I still can't sleep.
And next thing I know, like my cuz, my kids wake up at six,

(01:21:47):
6:30. So like it doesn't matter.
They got up, they woke me up, the dog woke me up.
So it doesn't matter. So yeah, I'm excited for that
tonight too, to go to bed. Like I'm going to crash.
Nice. Yeah, well, I do know you have a
way, a way back to go to Altoona.
Why don't you tell people where they can find you at?
You guys, Scott Kelly here you can find me online actually a

(01:22:10):
Scott Kelly comedian because apparently there is a famous
astronaut named Scott Kelly. I didn't realize that and he's
taking up all my space. So you guys.
So you have to look me up as under Scott Kelly, comedian for
my social medias on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube.
But you can get my special on Prime Video as Scott Kelly

(01:22:31):
there. And it's called Word of mouth.
So it's got great reviews from from everybody got a 4.5 out of
five, you know, rating. So they got like 10 or 12
reviews on it from strangers. It's been going great.
Heck yeah, man, yeah. So I'll put all the links in
there in the the episode detailsand stuff.
Awesome. So I appreciate you coming down

(01:22:51):
and actually doing 1. Impression.
No, it's definitely different from the.
First time then yeah, Zoom is way harder.
I need to find a good Internet connection when I do it next
time. I didn't realize the Internet
connection it just it just that in that room with people is just
a different vibe, man. Yeah, it really is.
And you're just feed off of it. Oh.
Yeah. And it's like you're quicker to
come back to stuff and yeah, completely.

(01:23:13):
So. All right, guys, we're going to
wrap it up there and we'll see you next time.
Bye. Yeah.

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Episode #59: Scott Kelly 2.0

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