June 11, 2025 • 51 mins
Ever wondered why some entrepreneurs build thriving networks while others struggle to make meaningful connections? The secret lies in understanding that business relationships aren't transactions—they're gardens that require cultivation, patience, and genuine care.
In this illuminating episode, we challenge the concept of work-life balance, suggesting that successful entrepreneurs embrace work-life integration instead. Like airport moving walkways, entrepreneurship isn't about finding opportunities to stand still; it's about leveraging momentum to move forward faster. When business owners disengage, they create ripple effects throughout their organizations that can be difficult to reverse.
What really separates high-performing entrepreneurs from the rest? Emotional intelligence. The ability to read situations, understand perspectives, and respond appropriately forms the foundation for meaningful connections. We share practical examples of emotional intelligence in action—from respecting someone's busy conversation to following up after missing an opportunity to connect. These small gestures demonstrate awareness and consideration that leave lasting impressions.
We reveal the three-step progression of successful business relationships: First, people need to know you; then they need to like you; finally, they must trust you. Only after establishing trust does selling become natural, not as a transaction but as a genuine desire to solve problems. This transformation creates lifetime customers rather than one-time transactions.
Perhaps most importantly, entrepreneurship offers the freedom to help others without corporate restrictions. This generosity paradoxically creates more success as it establishes a reputation for trustworthiness and authentic concern.
Want to build stronger business relationships? Visit bigtalkaboutsmallbusiness.com for more insights.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I don't want this guy to think I was dissing him.
Sure, I mean, we're friends,yeah.
So I called him afterward andsaid hey man.
I said I'm sorry I saw you overthere today.
I didn't say anything to you bythe time you know I was going
to you.
Guys were obviously having anintense conversation I was going
to, but then I looked up andyou were gone.
I just don't want you to thinkI was ignoring you, or what
(00:23):
Didn't?
I just don't want you to thinkI was ignoring you, or didn't
see you, Dude.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
that is such a good example of strong emotional
intelligence.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Because you didn't have to make that call.
All right, we are back in thefabulous, fabulous podcast
videos dot com studio here inRogers, arkansas today.
Sir, it's a hopping place man.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
It is hopping today, man.
We got recordings happening allover the place up in here.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah we got lots of interesting people in the
house's right they say yeah, um,but uh, for the next hour or so
you're gonna have to sufferthrough, eric and myself.
Um, talking about Big talk,about small business.
(01:25):
We're back again and it's goingto be fun, let's do it, man,
all right.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
What are we talking about today?
We're talking about emotionalintelligence or no building
relationships.
Building relationships,emotional intelligence is part
of that.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, it is.
It's definitely part of it.
But before we get started, Okay.
We're going to pull somethingout of this Y-Cat.
Ooh man, done that in a littlewhile.
We haven't done that in a while.
Let's see what it says.
We're supposed to talk aboutthis today.
Work-life balance.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
What's that?
What is that?
It's integration, that's yourbest word for it.
I like the integration becausethat makes a lot of sense, right
?
I mean, you got to be reallycareful, because when you're
balancing something, it's likewhich one's higher than the
other, right?
Yeah, exactly, there's alwaysthis teeter-totter going back
and forth, and I have personallybeen through, but I've seen a
(02:20):
lot of folks as well go throughthe.
I need to relax, I need toreduce stress, I need to chill
out, I need to get a break, Ineed to escape.
I mean, go get a job then,right, right.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Exactly.
Get out of this.
The post office is probablyhiring 45,000 a year.
You can be a mail carrier.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
That's it, yeah, and so you gotta you, you, you gotta
be very careful, because if youhang out on the teeter totter
too long, then you'll get stuckthere.
It's really easy and it's ahard thing to get out Right.
It's kind of like it is a lotlike exercise, Like if you
stopped working out, it's reallyhard to get back in it, even
though you might need to recoverand and and give yourself a
(03:01):
break.
Yeah, but if you do that toolong, you'll get stuck in this
pattern behavior and then yourwork that you got to do to get
out of it is significantlyharder.
So it's like if you did that,like it was it really worth the
break.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, exactly what did you lose by taking that
break?
Exactly, it's a loss ofmomentum in a business is
crucial it is crucial.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
It in a business, is crucial.
It is crucial, it is verycrucial, and that's what you're
trying to get.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
You're trying to get that flywheel to start turning.
Yeah, you've got to inspireeverybody else to you know if
you're the leader, you're thebusiness owner, you're the
entrepreneur.
If you're not willing to do it,do what it takes to be fully
engaged.
What makes you think anybodyelse is going?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Well, yeah, and people are, they follow
direction.
Yeah, action.
Yeah, not what you say.
Right, they will do exactlywhat you do.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Exactly.
It's like saying to your kidsdon't smoke.
Exactly Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, don't ever smoke, right?
Yeah, don't drink tonight.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, you're sitting there drinking.
They're going to do it ExactlyDo as I do, not as I say, and
it's so critical in business.
Leadership's all about settingthe example.
The reality is, as a businessowner, don't kid yourself about
your ability to disengage.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
That's right, yeah, right, yeah, and you got to do
and you cause.
You got to also recognize thatyou're it's not just you, but
you're setting a pattern, thecompounding effect that you have
.
Right, because if I need to godisengage, people see me
disengage, everybody disengages,and then not only do you have
(04:41):
to work yourself out of thathole, but you've got to work
everyone else out of that.
And it's funny, it's aninteresting phenomenon, how, if
I was to disengage, how quickeveryone else will disengage,
but when I re-engage, they don'tre-engage quickly.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Boy, that is so true.
To me it's kind of like beingat the airport.
You know, we've probably talkedabout the moving walkway
phenomenon again, um, in thepast, rather um, you know where
people get on the moving walkwayand they stop.
Yeah, not cool, stop, okay.
That's like having yourbusiness.
It's a moving walkway, yeah,okay, you get onto it and you're
(05:22):
going to stop stop.
Good luck, that was your chanceto get ahead that's right, you
lost it.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
You need to be walking forward, because that
the whole thing's pushing youforward.
Yep, that's the point of thatwalkway exactly.
It's not to relax, exactly, it'sto get ahead it's a really cool
analogy, actually, because Ithink everybody can visualize
that.
And if you're somebody thatlike, there's a difference.
Like if, if you were walking upto that walkway, right, and
(05:49):
your mentality is is I'm tiredof walking, I'm going to use
this walkway so that I don'thave to walk, but I'm going to
get to the same place at thesame time by taking it easy,
yeah, whereas if you're late foryour next flight and you see
that walk away, your brain goesI can go twice as fast, exactly
(06:12):
Then walking over here on theside.
And so an entrepreneurialmentality.
You have to be the person thatsees walking twice as fast, not
chilling because you, youliterally don't have that luxury
in entrepreneurship.
Yes, and I think that might bea big reason why a lot of
businesses fail is becausepeople get into it with the
(06:32):
wrong mentality.
Are you the person that, ifyou're sitting here considering
entrepreneurship, are you, andyou're at your current job and
you're trying to weigh thedecision?
You know I'm tired of what I'mdoing.
Okay, that's fair.
I'm thinking about starting myown business, because I always
wanted to build something or dosomething, but are you looking
at that walkway as anopportunity for you to build
(06:53):
what you want to do but alsohave a balanced, wonderful
lifestyle?
Or are you looking at going tothat walkway because you're
really trying to build scale andhave a big check at the end or
make a lot of money or make abig impact and solve a market
need?
I've seen both types and theones that are just trying to not
(07:16):
walk as fast or get in yourhead as fast.
It can be a really miserableexistence.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Absolutely.
That's why you really have tohave a passion for what you're
doing, a hundred percent.
I mean, it's gotta be somethingthat you're obsessed with.
That that's what carries youforward.
That's why you're so motivatedand so driven to do it, because
you feel like it's really worthdoing and it's really important
that you do it and you reallywant to do it.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeah, and you're trying and you really want to do
it.
Yeah, and you're trying toaccomplish a goal.
Yeah, right, just like again.
Is my goal to like?
That's what it comes down to.
I think it's that like again.
Put yourself, you know,listener, put yourself.
Visualize at the airport Areyou making the decision to get
on the walkway with the goal ofrelaxing and have and having it
(08:05):
a little bit easier, but stillgoing in the same place, or are
you trying, is your goal tofreaking, go faster and go
further?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
yeah, and maybe here's the other thing maybe I
can rest if I get there earlier.
Yeah, maybe then I can rest,but I'm at the destination.
You're at the destination, yeah, okay, see, that's the
difference.
That's the external sale, orwhatever.
Yeah, the buildup of thecompany to a certain level,
mm-hmm, yeah, I think thatthat's the point.
You can delay yourgratification.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, for the end goal, that's more important
(09:05):
no-transcript thing toarticulate in a conversation.
So we're almost like what?
90, 80 episodes now, yeah,we're close to 90.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Right, and we're still dissecting the answer no,
that's a really.
That's a good point.
Um, because when we startedthis show, you know, I remember
you and I talked about it and Isaid you know what?
I don't have anything I'mtrying to promote, right, and
you don't either.
I mean, we're not trying to beconsultants to small businesses.
That's not our, our, our goal.
(09:38):
No, okay, here at all, we justwant to share the information
and we want to clear up a lot ofmisconceptions and bad
information that's out there.
Yeah, yeah, it's just like Iwas talking today.
I mean, our topic isrelationships, right, and I was
talking with a couple who has abusiness and they've been
successful.
They're, they're getting it offthe ground.
(09:59):
It's pretty interestingbusiness they've got and they
sell direct to the consumer.
And you know, we were talkingabout their growth and they
bootstrapped it.
Yeah, okay, very impressivewhat they've been able to do so
far.
Um, but they were talking about,you know well, the mentors
they've had and and, and some ofthe coaches and things like
that, and I said you know what?
(10:20):
Though?
I said be careful who youlisten to.
Yeah, okay, do they really havethe credibility if they've been
there, right, all right,there's a lot of people out
there in this entrepreneurialecosystem that we're part of in
Northwest Arkansas, and you knowwhat I'm talking about.
Yeah, 100%, and they get a lotof money for their nonprofits
(10:45):
that are funded by the SmallBusiness Administration, the
Winrock Foundation, the SBA, nsf, whatever.
Okay, but they haven't reallydone it.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And they're giving them some bad information, right
, and they're giving them somebad information, right.
And you know, I think I'm notsaying you can't learn from
people who haven't done it andwho've studied something
extensively.
You certainly can, but thesepeople don't necessarily fit
that domain either.
That's right.
That's right, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, and it comes down like I think that you and I
recognize, like afterexperience, like you can have
the best plan, the best teaching, the most education, great
experience.
But it really comes down to howyou wake up and see the world.
Boy, no kidding it.
That is so true and and let metell you something too, I think
(11:39):
that you might be able to testthis but but even this morning,
I wake up with, for whateverreason, probably because of
something I read or something Iheard Usually it's a lot of this
Somebody in my day, the daybefore or a few days before, has
(11:59):
implanted fear and concern andworry and doubt in verbal
conversation with me.
Right, and at that time, youknow and I can remember some
specific instances here recentlyas I'm thinking about this At
the time that they had said thatto me, I was positive and it
didn't bother me.
(12:19):
However, they have implanted aseed of doubt and negativity and
fear into your conscious andthe niggles in your subconscious
and I go to sleep and my dreamsmull through my little personal
AI engine, right, yes, it'smulling through all these things
and I wake up and I literallywoke up this morning with just
(12:40):
like this kind of heavyblanketed doubt, yeah, of all
these things that are happening.
And as a human, am I able tobasically reason or emotionally
get through that and say no, no,no, I reject that.
(13:00):
That's not true.
That's just a fear, that'ssomebody else's concern and so
it makes it takes me on focus,but the ability to get through
that individually without thehelp, yeah, and before you go
out and you continue the cancerinto the entire world, right,
right, like that to me is theentrepreneur Like, above all,
(13:25):
doubt, naysayers andcircumstances, macro effects,
all these things Can youindividually rise up and say you
know what I mean, I'm going togo get it.
Can you keep the?
Speaker 1 (13:36):
vision.
It's just all there is to it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
No, you're right Can you keep the vision, can you
keep the vision, can you refineit, because it's your
responsibility as anentrepreneur.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
That vision, that's so, that's so true yep, well, we
call those the 3 am,heebie-jeebies or whatever.
Usually it's not.
Usually by the time I wake upI'm I mean, I'm already getting
better from that but 3 am well,that's a dark time period, bro,
can be a dark time, I tell you.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Last night I was up so many times, but toward the
dog, that one of our dogs is soafraid of storms, oh my god,
it's terrible but is this yourexperience, like if you get
woken up, like, say, it's likethat happened to me a couple of
times ago, the dog freaking wokeme up yeah, fighting in the
kennel or something right, yeah,yeah.
But once I'm up, yes, boom, thebrain starts acting and it
(14:27):
starts thinking and processingabout what all I need to do well
, I didn't get done.
What all is freaking out?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
I make a lot of do lists at 3 am because of that,
yeah, but yep, you got to keepthe vision.
You gotta, you gotta keep italive.
Um, the people you get advicefrom yeah, we're talking about
relationships today yeah, are socritical.
It's always best, if you wantto be an entrepreneur in my
(14:53):
opinion at least, and I doubtyou would disagree with this
hang out with other successfulentrepreneurs, not failed
entrepreneurs, not people who'venever been entrepreneurs, not
people who've never beenentrepreneurs, not people who've
never had a business.
Hang out with other people whohave actually done it and
prevailed or are going throughthe process, or a minimum you'll
(15:17):
.
You'll inspire each other.
Yeah, you'll advise each other.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
You'll relate to each other.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yes, and and that's, it's always good to know you're
not alone and it's always goodto learn from other people
who've been there before you.
Sure, you know, and and againyou know I think a lot of
privately held business ownersfeel like they're alone out
there operating.
You know, nobody cares about me, nobody understands me.
(15:44):
Whatever, you know, probablymore often than not their spouse
or mate doesn't get it whatthey're doing.
Oh, and they haven't watched it.
Yeah, and and you know, um, it,it, it, it, it, it, it.
It's not healthy.
I mean, you know you've got tohave somebody else you can.
You can talk to that.
(16:04):
I mean you know you've got tohave somebody else you can talk
to.
That's going to keep you goingand, you know, help you get
through those times.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Well, that's basically what you and I are
doing with this whole show.
That's what we're trying to do.
That's why, when we you knowyou brought this up about this
idea, I mean to me I was excitedabout the topic, but the big
excitement was just to have thisdialogue because it is helpful.
And now every week for the lastalmost two years, right, yeah,
(16:33):
that we're able to have theseconversations and I come out
more encouraged, a little bitmore savvy.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
It's like our own little psychotherapy program
that we share with the world,and God knows we need it.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The best thing is that you and I don't approve or
look at anything we talked about.
It just goes and breathes.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
It does, it just goes , but which makes it a lot more
fun.
But let's talk aboutrelationships.
So they have been pivotal forboth of us and continue to be.
How does what real advice Imean I think everybody gets oh,
relationships are important,okay, I hear that all the time.
Everybody says it, but put someteeth in it.
(17:15):
How do you really form theserelationships with other people
who can benefit you?
I'm not saying I don't want tolook at it totally as a
transaction either Um otherpeople who inspire you, other
people who, um, encourage you,other people it's not just ones
(17:39):
that do business or find youmoney or whatever Um, how do you
form those relationships in thefirst place?
And then, how do you sustainthem?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I mean, I think that the how-to for me is I think it
starts with some curiosity, youknow, and just some genuine, I
think, respect in the sense ofwhere there's everybody you meet
, there's something to learn,there's some sort of connection
there, some sort of peace, thatthat you can, that you know, you
(18:09):
, you get value out of meetingother people.
Yes, you know, I mean, and Ifeel like that, especially in
today's time, post the vid covid, yeah, you know, folks felt
like that you can operate andlive and work and enjoy life in
isolation, yeah, and you don'thave to like there's a.
There is a phenomenon going onof where I don't have to meet
(18:33):
other people, like, like I havemy own, my tech stack can do a
lot for me, I don't need to goout and shake hands and kiss
babies and meet folks and allthat kind of stuff, Right, yeah,
and so they have like devaluedrelationship in general, and I
think that that's very, verydangerous.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Well, it's just, you see it, and just like I'm not
even willing to call somebody,I'll text and email only.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, exactly, I won't pick up the phone and
actually talk, and the more,worse, like if you're at any
Much less go see them Right,talk in the worst, like if
you're at any, much less go seethem right.
Or if you're at a coffee shopand you see somebody that you
recognize and it's somebodythat's clearly could give you
good advice, or somebody youshould get to know, yeah, and
you just say, nah, I don't needthat, I don't have to do that,
(19:19):
no, you don't have to right, youknow and I mean, but do you
make the decision to do it?
That's where the winner isright there, the person that
will, yes, that has such a high,you know, respect and
appreciation for a relationshipthat that will cause you to
overcome this, this basic, youknow thought process of that
(19:43):
relationship is valuable or not.
And if you know that it is,it's a big deal.
And I think that too, likeovercoming your own fears.
Right, like a lot of folks, oneof the big six or seven fears
of all humanity is the fear ofcriticism.
And so if I see you sitting ata coffee shop and I know you're
Mark Zweig and I've seen you onthis show, and I know you're an
entrepreneur, I'm anentrepreneur Do I have the guts
(20:06):
to overcome my own self-fear ofbeing criticized for walking up
and shaking your hand.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, I hear you.
I mean, I think that's a reallygood point.
I mean, a lot of us areintroverts at heart, yeah, and
it's easier to not do that 100%Right, but you never know where
that's going to go.
That's the thing.
You never know where it's goingto go.
It's like I'm sure you get thisa lot like people reach out to
you.
They're like I want to talkwith you, would you meet with me
(20:32):
, talk about my business, or Ijust like to meet you.
I mean, you know what I'mtalking about.
Um, and it's easy to say no,I'm too busy right now.
I got 10 frigging businessesI'm trying to do, or whatever.
Okay, we, you know, we, both ofus.
It, I get it, yeah, but youstill need to invest a certain
(20:56):
amount of time in those peopleand you just never know where
those are going to go.
You don't.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
And there's a karma to it.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah, if you help out other people, then the good
stuff comes to you, buddy.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It's true 100%.
I mean I feel genuinely I havebeen in a spot in both of these
topics, right about approachingpeople.
There's been some people I didnot approach because I allowed
my fear of criticism to get inthe way and I just found it
easier to walk away.
And there's been times whenpeople have reached out to me
(21:32):
that I've like man, I don't havethe time.
And in both of thosecircumstances, any time that I
didn't do what I should havedone, I mean it's been damaging,
but any time that I didn't dowhat I should have done, I mean
it's been it's been damaging,but anytime that I have done, it
has been positively, you know,beneficial.
Yes, because I mean thoserelationships they just compound
(21:54):
, compound, you know, like, andyou're, you're in the same boat
too, like here we are, you know,after a certain 10 year in our
life and experience, and we havenetworks, right, I mean I got
people I can call that I knowwould help me out or that would
be really perfect for somebodythat's starting out new.
I can make a phone call and getconnected really easily and it
(22:15):
makes a big impact.
But that didn't happen in ahalf a year.
This is over a decade, twodecades worth of having a very
high respect and continuous worktowards building relationships,
and then also you just have anetwork.
That's how networks start.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
yeah, it's true.
It's because, like just today,the people I met with are in a
particular industry where I havea friend that they were aware
of who started a business in thesame industry.
It's been very, very successful.
Okay, and they asked me if Iwould introduce them to this
individual, which I'll be gladto do, cause they're on a
(22:55):
parallel path.
They're just not as far downthe road as as he is.
And?
And why do I have arelationship with the other guy,
though, in the first place?
Okay, because I reached out tohim, because I liked what he was
doing, cause you're interested.
Exactly, I thought this is areally cool concept.
(23:17):
What's this guy doing?
You know, yeah, how is he doingit?
How did he get this businesswhere people are buying directly
from him?
Yeah, you know, god knows, it'shard.
If anybody's got a productbusiness out there where you're
trying to sell on your ownwebsite, hard getting days
getting people to your website,man, it's hard.
It's always underestimated inmy experience.
(23:40):
I don't know if you'd agreewith me or not.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
dude, a thousand percent it's, it's hard for the
smallest to the biggest brand inthe world it is.
It is so hard.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
That's why Amazon and Walmartcom and eBay and those
things exist, and Etsy, yeah,because it's hard driving people
to your house.
But anyway, here's somebodywho's done it successfully in
the same industry.
Be great, you know.
Know, maybe you can be veryhelpful with these people at
this point.
He's already achieved hissuccess.
(24:09):
You know, it's not like they'rea threat, right, right and um,
and he's a nice guy and heprobably um, you know, but it's
because I know the guy.
I invested the time to get toknow the guy.
I invested the time to get tomeet the people who who reached
out to me and put them together.
Maybe something good will comeout of that.
You know what good specificallyis going to come out of it?
(24:31):
I don't know, right, I don'tknow right now, right, but you
plant enough of those seeds overyour entire career of 10, 20,
30, 40, 50 years, yep, and wow,you know it's funny.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You can say plant seeds like investing in
relationships is like plant,it's like you know it's farming.
Yes, right, you're justplanting seeds over time.
Yes, you know that there willbe a harvest at some point, but
some of them die, some of themdie some, you know I mean.
But it's definitely not likehunting and you go out for hunt
and you kill and then you getbusiness and I think that's a
(25:06):
very bad perspective of buildingrelationships.
You know, and I've never hadthat mentality.
I think that's why I ended upbuilding a good and saying you
know, we built good networks.
Because we don't approach itthat way.
I don't see a relationship fromsomebody as a opportunity for
me to make a deal.
I see a relationship as okayman that person might have you
(25:27):
know there might be.
Yeah, I could benefit greatlyfrom sales by getting to know
that person, but my motive isnot to do that Like I completely
take it off the table.
I don't even want my braingoing down that way of looking
at another human being assomebody that's going to help me
gain.
Yeah, you know, yes, and if andif I can't get my gain out of
(25:49):
that human in that relationship,then I'm out of the
relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yeah, that's very bad way oh, it is, and you know, it
makes so much sense to me.
Um, when you think about itlike that, um it.
Whenever there are people whohave just an expectation of what
they can get out of you.
You sense that and you don'twant to deal with them.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And you got you know, no, 100%, and that's what
causes this hesitation for a lotof people to meet with folks.
But but the people like, if, ifI was going to introduce
somebody to you like this, youknow I would meet with this
person first.
They asked to meet with MarcusWag.
I'd be, I'd ask you know, yeah,I'd be happy to maybe make that
(26:39):
introduction, but I'm not goingto actually make that
introduction unless I know theperson I'm meeting with has a
genuine sense of just meetingyou yeah, it's like I want them
to invest in my company.
No, I'm out yeah, I know I'm notgonna pass that email over for
you, bro.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Yeah I know that's that.
I get it.
I, I do.
I do you think it because youand I both grew up in service
related businesses.
That that's why we have thatmentality, as opposed to, let's
say, we grew up in a productbusiness where you're just
selling a product.
That like relationships,because if you're serving
(27:15):
clients, yes, everything's notabout how much money I'm going
to make on that job, it's moreof the.
I'm looking at the relationship.
They need help?
Okay, we'll help them out.
Does that cost us money?
Yeah, maybe that costs us money.
We don't make money on everyjob we do for them, but it's all
part of the relationship.
It's necessary to sustain therelationship, to create goodwill
(27:38):
.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yeah, I think probably.
So.
You know, when you say that,like I'm thinking about, my
first service job is waitingtables, oh, great experience.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Everybody should do it.
Everyone should be waitingtables.
I never did, but everybodyshould do it.
I've worked on bikes, but youcould say it's different, but in
a lot of ways it was similar.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, very similar, because, like, if my job is how
many, how much of a tip am Igoing to make?
Yeah, am I going to make, andit's all about getting them in,
getting them out, getting mycheck, you know, getting my tips
and that's it.
But if you approach the tableas, how do I make this a
wonderful experience for them?
They work hard for their money.
They're here to invest money ingood food, good experience, and
(28:16):
I have the honor and privilegeto create this experience for
them.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Exactly and think how happy they're going to be.
And then that makes you happy.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You feel good, you did something good, yeah, when
you have a table of four peopleor my favorites were the bigs,
like.
I worked at the Olive Gardenback in the early days I know it
is one of the fables.
I helped them open it up butthey had this.
They called it the farm room orsomething like that, but it was
this semi-separated room thathad like a tin top table, and so
(28:51):
it was for big families thatcame in.
Well, very few of the waitersreally ever wanted to work that
because it took a lot of work.
Yeah, however, I love to workit because I had this chance to
be the maestro of this familyexperience and they would come
in and I would have them waters,I would make sure that they got
(29:13):
their appetizers, they gottheir check fast and make jokes
and I would just get to know thepeople and then they walk away
and their family had great timerelationally together, right,
and the in the business isrepresented.
Well, I always got tipped alittle bit better because I gave
them a great experience.
(29:33):
Yeah, you know, and you feelgood, you feel like you
accomplish something yeah, maybethey come back.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
And next time they come back in they go, I want
that eric guy.
Can we sit with him?
He was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, absolutely, you know and that builds your
repeat business and I mean it'sjust good.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yeah, it's, it's so true and it's also, you know,
like you said, I think it's veryrewarding when you can connect
people who help each other.
Again, I did that recently.
I connected two of my friends.
I got a call from one of themtoday on the way up here in my
car telling me I just gottogether with so-and-so.
(30:09):
Thank you for introducing me tohim.
What a great guy.
We had so much fun talkingtogether and we've got so much
in common, yeah.
And I thought, yeah, that'snice, I feel good about that.
You know, it was good.
I connected the two.
Maybe they can work together,maybe they won't.
(30:32):
You know, my friend, they'reboth my friends.
You know, I got a call from oneof them thanking me for it.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
That makes me feel like I helped him out, you know
you know, as you're talkingabout this market, makes me
think about just the question ingeneral of how to start a
successful business, and thereason it's so challenging to
answer that is because it's notone thing.
Amen to that.
And honestly, I don't know thatI necessarily know a really
good answer, other than there'sthis flywheel that is very soft
(31:00):
and mushy and it's acomprehensive thing and it's and
it becomes this momentum.
You know it's the same thingthat relationships do.
Yeah, you know, like you've gotto look at relationship
building as it's a long-termfarming exercise that you just
respect and understand and youknow intuitively that it's a
(31:22):
good thing.
Yeah, human beings are part ofour life and our existence.
It's good to help, it's good toyou know, to have these
relationships and haveconversations and over time it
just builds itself.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
It generates a flywheel effect.
That's like a perpetual motionmachine.
It is, yeah, it just keepsdriving you forward it does it
does.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
It is not a single.
There's not a singlerelationship in my life that I
can point to right that thathelped me become successful in
whatever I've done.
It is a comprehensive yeah,it's a sweet, it is a yes, it is
a sweet.
It's a sweet, it is a yes, itis a sweet.
It's a language, and that's thepoint of the word network,
right, there's a networkflywheel effect that develops
(32:10):
Right and this person talks tothis person about you.
They both agree and there couldbe some negatives in there, but
if they both agree, he's a goodguy, you know.
Yeah, like I really like it.
There's something about thatperson right, and it's because I
want to get to know this otherperson.
They remember that.
Like right, anybody that hasyou know has a meeting or or
(32:33):
like you're in any relationship.
If I was to dedicate more of myeffort to listening to you and
understanding you, you're goingto greatly appreciate that.
Doesn't matter if it's marriage, friendship, friendship
business anything, yeah, and sothat's what you do.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
That's your emotional intelligence.
What about?
You know?
People say emotionalintelligence is such a huge
factor.
I mean, I've got a stat here90% of top performing employees
possess high emotionalintelligence.
It says influencing 58 of jobperformance.
Source electoral q.
(33:09):
I don't know what that is, but,um, I don't exactly understand
those percentages.
But I'll say, anecdotally, theones that have good emotional
intelligence are the ones thatget ahead right.
I mean, it's like I've got, youknow, I got this 14 year old
daughter.
I mean, I know you got girlstoo.
You know she's my youngest one.
(33:29):
Um, she's probably, of all ofthem, maybe the least
academically oriented.
I mean, she does okay in school.
It's not that hard to do wellin school these days.
I don't think the standards aresuper high.
Truthfully, she probably neverread an entire book cover to
cover.
She became a mature person whocould read anything.
(33:50):
However, emotionalintelligence-wise, she's
probably at the top of all mykids, and so I have just very
high expectations for what she'sgoing to be able to accomplish.
Yeah, she knows how to makerelationships with other people.
She's tuned in to other peoplebetter than any of them.
(34:14):
Yeah.
And it's such a great skill, youknow.
I mean, she's got an oldersister.
The next one up is a straight,a student.
She does not have the samedegree of emotional intelligence
.
I'm not trying to say she won'tbe successful either, because
she will be, but maybe not inthe same way or maybe not to the
same extent as the younger onethat seems to be so much more
(34:38):
tuned into the relationships.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
And I think that there's a misconception that
emotional intelligence is onlyreserved for those extroverted,
outgoing type people, and it'snot true.
It's something you can totallylearn, just like the iq right.
I mean like you can.
You can improve, you can learn,you can research, you can, but
you understand you said it earlyon, though just ask more
(35:01):
questions.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
just stop talking about yourself, yeah, and ask
more questions about the otherperson, not only will you learn
from them?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
they will like you more 100% and people you know
and I think you know.
Emotional intelligence to mecomes into like reading the
written, reading, thedisposition of somebody.
Seeing how you're beingperceived individually 100, like
you're talking about the coffeeshop, if you, if I see at the
coffee shop and I see that youlook frantic, yeah, right, or
(35:33):
that you're under a lot ofpressure or you're busy, you're
trying to get right, does thatmean you're gonna stop and and,
yeah, and try to have this longconversation?
No, I might, but I do seesignificant value in, in, in,
like, as you're walking out,that I'm walking out the same
time and I go.
Mark eric again, we met theother day.
Sure, good to see you, have agreat day.
(35:54):
Yeah, that's a relationshipbuild that was emotionally
intelligent.
That I recognize.
You're busy, you're going toappreciate it, you're going to
remember me, but I didn'tnegatively disrupt you and and
make your day a little worse.
Like I let you go, yeah, butthat's an emotional intelligence
.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You made that decision.
You, you, yeah, you.
You were astute enough yeah um,like today.
I mean, you and matt waller.
Both were in the coffee shopwhile I'm talking with these
other people.
You could see we weren't havinga stressful conversation, right
?
You look at the body language,how we're sitting there, the
expression on our faces,whatever the fact that you're
(36:33):
looking up and you're smilingand you're happy to engage Right
.
Totally appropriate to engagein that scenario.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
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Speaker 2 (36:55):
Dude, it's so funny we're talking about this.
I have been in coffee shopstalking with somebody about some
sort of significantconversation and I look up and I
see somebody and I can I canrecount exactly who the person
is and I don't know this personvery well, right Like.
But I do know them from otherevents and we have had times
(37:17):
where we've talked in roomstogether.
Sure, and this person literallyI'll be middle, talking to you
about something serious.
I see them, I wave at them, butI look back at you and I keep
talking.
Right, I have a clear signal tothat person.
I don't need to be interruptedright now, but this freaking
person has the audacity to comeand walk up to the table and
(37:40):
stand there with a big smile ontheir face and I have to.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
They didn't have the emotional they did not Required.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
No, they didn't.
And here's the thing.
They're trying to build arelationship with me, right, but
I'm in my mind going I don'twant anything to do with it.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
That's a negative.
Yeah, you know it's a funny.
I mean, this coffee shop overhere blows my mind.
Over here blows my mind.
Yeah, anytime you go in there,you probably know half the
people in there.
Yeah, I mean, it's just networkcity, baby, it is absolute.
Like the hub of coffee shopnetworking in this area blows me
away.
And I see people.
I know their face but I can'tremember who they are.
(38:17):
Yeah, in fact, I saw a coupleof them today.
Yeah, in there, but um, sothat's a good, that's a good
point.
I was having lunch with my wiferecently at a place just a
couple of months ago and then Isaw a guy I know who was well
across the room.
He was obviously having one ofthese intense business
discussions.
(38:38):
Ok, I did not go over there andintroduce myself, but I also and
introduce myself, but I also II wanted to say get.
When he got up I was going tosay goodbye somehow I was
talking with my wife weredistracted enough that I would
look up and they're gone, yeah,okay.
So I thought to myself you knowwhat?
I don't want this guy to thinkI was dissing him.
(38:58):
Sure, I mean, we're friends,yeah.
So I called him afterward andsaid hey, hey, man.
I said I'm sorry, I saw youover there today.
I didn't say anything to you.
By the time I was going to youguys were obviously having an
intense conversation I was goingto, but then I looked up and
you were gone.
I just don't want you to thinkI was ignoring you or didn't see
(39:20):
you.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Dude, that is such a good example of strong emotional
intelligence.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Because you didn't have to make that call.
I did not have to make thatcall at all.
I could have just left it go,but I just but you're sustaining
how that that you could haveaffected that person.
Right you might think, yeah,swyke's kind of an asshole.
He saw me, didn't even, didn'teven, you know, make any attempt
to recognize me.
Yeah, what a jerk.
Yeah, I hate him, you know whathe's gonna to recognize me.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Yeah, what a jerk.
Yeah, I hate him.
You know what he's going to do.
He's going to go talk to hisbuddies and say you know what?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, that's swagger.
Yeah, who the hell does hethink he?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
is he thinks he's such an?
Speaker 1 (39:54):
asshole.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
But being aware like that is so important and I think
that people disregard that.
And it's not just emotionalintelligence about that person,
but it's when you leave and yougo, man, I should text that
person or whatever.
But then you're like, oh no,it's not a big deal, that's not
emotional intelligence on yourpart about the other person.
(40:17):
Yeah, but it's caring and it'shaving when we say emotional
intelligence, is caringgenuinely enough about the
feelings of other people exactly.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I tell you it's.
This is really interesting.
I never really thought aboutthis like this.
Okay, and you know, some peoplemight say I don't have the ei I
should have.
But I was at the country clubpool here this last weekend and
I went there with my one of mydaughters and her friend and
myself.
(40:48):
My wife was going to come alonglater.
So I walk in and I go past thiswoman and she says hey, mark
swig.
And I'm like hey, I could notremember who she was.
Okay, it, absolutely it.
Just, you know, I mean I'mgetting older, dude.
I thank god I got my wife,because generally between the
two of us you'd be like, okay,we put the name together, yeah.
(41:11):
So anyway, about 15, and youknow it's bugging me, I can't
think of her name.
She called me by my name and mydaughter comes over and says,
hey, um, did you see so-and-so'sat the pool here?
I'm like, oh God, now I knowwho that is.
So I got up.
By then this person had movedacross the pool to a different
(41:33):
place.
First she was on my side, thenshe moved over to the other side
where the cabanas are.
I went over there and saidsomething to her like hey, I'm
sorry, I didn't recognize youwhen you, when I first came in,
I you know you're out of context.
This is not where I'm used toseeing you.
Yeah, yeah and and um, I thinkit was appreciated.
(41:55):
I guess that's all I'm saying.
Yeah, you know, I acknowledgeit.
I could have just said, oh god,that was terrible, I'm
embarrassed and not gone overthere.
But I made the effort to goover there to at least express
the fact that I felt bad aboutnot initially recognizing who
she was you know what, what'sfunny when we're digging in this
(42:15):
conversation a little more.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
It is very deep, it's very intuitive, because a lot
of our feelings and ouremotional intelligence is
genuinely baked in and taught tous very young ages, like we
don't.
We don't even know how welearned them, but we just
learned.
And it's usually our family,right, you know, and, yeah,
those circumstances could beimpacted by a million things
(42:37):
that you have no idea.
Why, right, you know, you don'tknow why your mom or your dad
was always angry or they weretired or depressed or what all
these negative things, or whythey're super happy and go lucky
and whatever, and have theirperspectives.
We just kind of grow up in it,you know, but it's, I think,
when you get into the and thenyou go to school and then you
(42:58):
have all these other rules andregulations and but then you go
into the professional life,right and now now.
But then you go into theprofessional life, right, and
now it's go time.
It's like who are the ones thatreally win in business?
They're the ones that have gotthis confidence and this
emotional intelligence andthey're thinking, they're always
navigating, they're alwayswinning, they're competing, they
(43:21):
care, huh, they care, they care, they care about their success.
Everything, yeah, everything,like just hammer down, pedal to
the metal.
They care, huh, they care, theycare, they care about their
Everything, yeah, everything,everything, like just hammer
down, have it in the metal.
I'm going to go get, you know,I'm going to get what's mine,
you know, and I think thatpeople like we don't understand,
like why we might behave theway that we behave, because you
know but it all in the swimmingpool circumstance you're talking
(43:42):
about somewhere along the way,you, you, you have learned the
importance of making sure thatsomebody else feels a certain
way.
Yeah, and you know that that'simportant to them.
It's important to you that theyfeel that way, and so you do
have a higher emotionalintelligence that maybe a lot of
(44:02):
other folks don't.
Yeah, like they don't care.
Yeah, they don't care how youfeel, like it's not don't.
Yeah, like they don't care,yeah, they don't care how you
feel, like it's not theirproblem, right exactly?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
they don't care how you feel, and that doesn't
engender any loyalty on yourpart.
It doesn't.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And I'll give you a warm and fuzzy.
It doesn't.
And I and I'll tell you likehow is the rubber meets.
The road here is we're talkingabout entrepreneurism, we're
talking about building abusiness.
You don't have to, as anindividual, have to have high
emotional intelligence.
You can totally be a jackassand not care about anybody's
(44:34):
feelings.
There are people who succeedlike that, 100%, and they, you
know, those folks either workthey can be successful in
business or they can work otherplaces where they don't ever
have to have emotionalintelligence because it doesn't
matter, like the post office.
Yeah, like you're talking about.
Right, there's no standard foremotional intelligence.
(44:56):
That needs to happen.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
But if you're an entrepreneur, your chances of
success you'd probably be moresuccessful, though, at the post
office if you had it.
Oh, you'd rise to the brinks,you'd become a manager, you'd
become the postmaster you met.
You know.
Whatever I mean, yeah, yeah Imean, get it emotional.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Intelligence always benefits.
It does.
But if you're an entrepreneur,you need to have, you need to
dig into this puppy.
Yes, you do.
You need to focus and listenand watch and research and
practice and improve and grow inemotional intelligence.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Put yourself into the uncomfortable position,
sometimes just because, even ifyou don't want to, because you
feel like you have to.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Yeah, you have to understand what this means.
What it means to impact otherpeople in the value of
relationships and having theemotional intelligence to know
the value of relationships.
Like, if you don't see valuerelationships, you're
discounting them and you're anentrepreneur and you for some
reason think that that'ssomething that can be done,
because you saw Mark Zuckerbergdo it in a news article that you
(46:00):
read 15 years ago and he's likehe doesn't have to have it, I
don't have to have it.
Bullshit.
Yeah, you just minimize yourchances way, way, way, way down
I, it's so true.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
I don't I don't know where I necessarily learned it,
but I I can say really early onin my professional career,
post-grad school, I was sellingexpensive professional services.
Yeah, and I had success with it, and one of the reasons why was
I just called my clients andpotential clients when I had
(46:33):
nothing to try to sell them atall.
You'd be friends with that, ofcourse.
I had a guy tell me youeventually ended up being the
reason I got hired at a companythat what he liked about me was
I would just call him up andtalk to him.
Yeah, you're genuine.
He just said.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
You just call him up and talk to him.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah, you're genuine.
He just said you just call meup and talk to me.
You had nothing.
You were trying to sell me.
Yeah, that isn't hard, that waseasy.
I mean, honestly, it was easierfor me than trying to sell him
something.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
You know 100%.
I mean people look man, I thinkthe one of the biggest things,
and here's the, and I think oneof the biggest things and here's
the okay.
So I know I got to roll, we gotto roll.
One of the big values ofrelationships is that you've
already established thecredibility, the likability, the
connection.
People usually don't buy thingsuntil they're ready to buy them
(47:26):
.
Exactly If you convince them.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Especially in a B2B environment, they're not ready
to buy them.
Exactly if you convince them,especially in a b2b environment,
they're not going to buy itimpulsively, like I just feel
like hiring something.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Yeah, I just yeah, this guy convinced me that I
bought me to buy something,right, like that's.
That's usually like you can winthat way, and I think there's
an art to that and I haverespect for that.
But the reality is is the way Ithink about it is that people
know who I am, my character,they know what I do, they see my
experience and when theyfinally say, you know what, I
(47:56):
think that doing video ads onsocial media is actually a good
idea.
Right, we need to do that.
Who do I trust to do that?
And it's an easy, an easy, andthen I'm happy to help.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
And then selling is helping.
Again, I always go back to MattLewis, who's general manager at
Lewis Automotive.
He always says first they gotto know you, then they got to
like you.
They're not going to like youif they don't know you.
And then, if they like you,then you got to get them to
trust you.
They're not going to trust youif they don't like you and they
don't know you.
There's an order of operationsthere, and then selling is just
(48:33):
helping.
Help them get what they wantDone.
Okay.
Help them get what they want.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
I mean that to me is just a beautiful relationship
there and then sustain thatrelationship over time and build
a lifetime relationship and alifetime customer yeah, and you,
once you have trust, you got tokeep that trust earned right
and don't let that, because youknow if you break that trust
then I mean it ruins therelationship.
(49:01):
It does.
You're gonna wish they didn'tlike you and then at one point
and you're gonna wish theydidn't even know you.
Yeah, it's like once you strayyou.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
You are never going to be the same.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Man.
I think that's a good way toend that.
First they got to know you,Then they got to like you, Then
they got to trust you.
That's a good hot point for howto build relationships.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
I said and then you help, then you just help.
Yeah, it's so easy, it's somuch better.
It is, I agree, feel betterabout yourself, man.
I mean you're going to be moresuccessful.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Well, and one of the things about entrepreneurship
that I can say that I enjoy themost is helping yes.
I have helped to buildsomething that has helped other
people build.
That's honor, that's gratitude,that's people build.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
That's honor, that's gratitude, that's oh, absolutely
that lets me know that I'veaccomplished something in my
life and that's one of the greatthings about owning your own
business is you can make thedecision to help.
You don't have corporate orsome manager telling you you
can't give this away or youcan't spend your time like that
or whatever.
You can make that call that'sright, entirely on your round.
That's a great thing.
That's freedom.
(50:11):
That is, it's valuable stuff.
Well, hey, we're out of time.
We are.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you to our listeners andto you, eric.
If you do want to check out ourpast episodes, get big talk
about small businesscom.
If you've gota product orservice that you think we might
(50:34):
be interested in representing,uh, send us a, a message and
we'll be glad to take a look atit.
Yep and uh, otherwise, uh,we're going to be back here
again next week.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Aren't we for a big, for another episode of Big Talk?
Speaker 1 (50:52):
About Small.
Business.
Speaker 4 (51:04):
Thanks for tuning into this episode of Big Talk
About Small Business.
If you have any questions orideas for upcoming shows, be
sure to head over to our website,
wwwbigtalkaboutsmallbusinesscomand click on the Ask the Host
button for the chance to haveyour questions answered on the
show.
Stay connected with us onLinkedIn at Big Talk about Small
(51:25):
Business and be sure to headover to our website to read
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shows.
I don't want this guy to think I was dissing him.
Sure, I mean, we're friends,yeah.
So I called him afterward andsaid hey man.
I said I'm sorry I saw you overthere today.
I didn't say anything to you bythe time you know I was going
to you.
Guys were obviously having anintense conversation I was going
to, but then I looked up andyou were gone.
I just don't want you to thinkI was ignoring you, or what
(00:23):
Didn't?
I just don't want you to thinkI was ignoring you, or didn't
see you, Dude.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
that is such a good example of strong emotional
intelligence.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Because you didn't have to make that call.
All right, we are back in thefabulous, fabulous podcast
videos dot com studio here inRogers, arkansas today.
Sir, it's a hopping place man.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
It is hopping today, man.
We got recordings happening allover the place up in here.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah we got lots of interesting people in the
house's right they say yeah, um,but uh, for the next hour or so
you're gonna have to sufferthrough, eric and myself.
Um, talking about Big talk,about small business.
(01:25):
We're back again and it's goingto be fun, let's do it, man,
all right.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
What are we talking about today?
We're talking about emotionalintelligence or no building
relationships.
Building relationships,emotional intelligence is part
of that.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, it is.
It's definitely part of it.
But before we get started, Okay.
We're going to pull somethingout of this Y-Cat.
Ooh man, done that in a littlewhile.
We haven't done that in a while.
Let's see what it says.
We're supposed to talk aboutthis today.
Work-life balance.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
What's that?
What is that?
It's integration, that's yourbest word for it.
I like the integration becausethat makes a lot of sense, right
?
I mean, you got to be reallycareful, because when you're
balancing something, it's likewhich one's higher than the
other, right?
Yeah, exactly, there's alwaysthis teeter-totter going back
and forth, and I have personallybeen through, but I've seen a
(02:20):
lot of folks as well go throughthe.
I need to relax, I need toreduce stress, I need to chill
out, I need to get a break, Ineed to escape.
I mean, go get a job then,right, right.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Exactly.
Get out of this.
The post office is probablyhiring 45,000 a year.
You can be a mail carrier.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
That's it, yeah, and so you gotta you, you, you gotta
be very careful, because if youhang out on the teeter totter
too long, then you'll get stuckthere.
It's really easy and it's ahard thing to get out Right.
It's kind of like it is a lotlike exercise, Like if you
stopped working out, it's reallyhard to get back in it, even
though you might need to recoverand and and give yourself a
(03:01):
break.
Yeah, but if you do that toolong, you'll get stuck in this
pattern behavior and then yourwork that you got to do to get
out of it is significantlyharder.
So it's like if you did that,like it was it really worth the
break.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, exactly what did you lose by taking that
break?
Exactly, it's a loss ofmomentum in a business is
crucial it is crucial.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
It in a business, is crucial.
It is crucial, it is verycrucial, and that's what you're
trying to get.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
You're trying to get that flywheel to start turning.
Yeah, you've got to inspireeverybody else to you know if
you're the leader, you're thebusiness owner, you're the
entrepreneur.
If you're not willing to do it,do what it takes to be fully
engaged.
What makes you think anybodyelse is going?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Well, yeah, and people are, they follow
direction.
Yeah, action.
Yeah, not what you say.
Right, they will do exactlywhat you do.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Exactly.
It's like saying to your kidsdon't smoke.
Exactly Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, don't ever smoke, right?
Yeah, don't drink tonight.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, you're sitting there drinking.
They're going to do it ExactlyDo as I do, not as I say, and
it's so critical in business.
Leadership's all about settingthe example.
The reality is, as a businessowner, don't kid yourself about
your ability to disengage.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
That's right, yeah, right, yeah, and you got to do
and you cause.
You got to also recognize thatyou're it's not just you, but
you're setting a pattern, thecompounding effect that you have
.
Right, because if I need to godisengage, people see me
disengage, everybody disengages,and then not only do you have
(04:41):
to work yourself out of thathole, but you've got to work
everyone else out of that.
And it's funny, it's aninteresting phenomenon, how, if
I was to disengage, how quickeveryone else will disengage,
but when I re-engage, they don'tre-engage quickly.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Boy, that is so true.
To me it's kind of like beingat the airport.
You know, we've probably talkedabout the moving walkway
phenomenon again, um, in thepast, rather um, you know where
people get on the moving walkwayand they stop.
Yeah, not cool, stop, okay.
That's like having yourbusiness.
It's a moving walkway, yeah,okay, you get onto it and you're
(05:22):
going to stop stop.
Good luck, that was your chanceto get ahead that's right, you
lost it.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
You need to be walking forward, because that
the whole thing's pushing youforward.
Yep, that's the point of thatwalkway exactly.
It's not to relax, exactly, it'sto get ahead it's a really cool
analogy, actually, because Ithink everybody can visualize
that.
And if you're somebody thatlike, there's a difference.
Like if, if you were walking upto that walkway, right, and
(05:49):
your mentality is is I'm tiredof walking, I'm going to use
this walkway so that I don'thave to walk, but I'm going to
get to the same place at thesame time by taking it easy,
yeah, whereas if you're late foryour next flight and you see
that walk away, your brain goesI can go twice as fast, exactly
(06:12):
Then walking over here on theside.
And so an entrepreneurialmentality.
You have to be the person thatsees walking twice as fast, not
chilling because you, youliterally don't have that luxury
in entrepreneurship.
Yes, and I think that might bea big reason why a lot of
businesses fail is becausepeople get into it with the
(06:32):
wrong mentality.
Are you the person that, ifyou're sitting here considering
entrepreneurship, are you, andyou're at your current job and
you're trying to weigh thedecision?
You know I'm tired of what I'mdoing.
Okay, that's fair.
I'm thinking about starting myown business, because I always
wanted to build something or dosomething, but are you looking
at that walkway as anopportunity for you to build
(06:53):
what you want to do but alsohave a balanced, wonderful
lifestyle?
Or are you looking at going tothat walkway because you're
really trying to build scale andhave a big check at the end or
make a lot of money or make abig impact and solve a market
need?
I've seen both types and theones that are just trying to not
(07:16):
walk as fast or get in yourhead as fast.
It can be a really miserableexistence.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Absolutely.
That's why you really have tohave a passion for what you're
doing, a hundred percent.
I mean, it's gotta be somethingthat you're obsessed with.
That that's what carries youforward.
That's why you're so motivatedand so driven to do it, because
you feel like it's really worthdoing and it's really important
that you do it and you reallywant to do it.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeah, and you're trying and you really want to do
it.
Yeah, and you're trying toaccomplish a goal.
Yeah, right, just like again.
Is my goal to like?
That's what it comes down to.
I think it's that like again.
Put yourself, you know,listener, put yourself.
Visualize at the airport Areyou making the decision to get
on the walkway with the goal ofrelaxing and have and having it
(08:05):
a little bit easier, but stillgoing in the same place, or are
you trying, is your goal tofreaking, go faster and go
further?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
yeah, and maybe here's the other thing maybe I
can rest if I get there earlier.
Yeah, maybe then I can rest,but I'm at the destination.
You're at the destination, yeah, okay, see, that's the
difference.
That's the external sale, orwhatever.
Yeah, the buildup of thecompany to a certain level,
mm-hmm, yeah, I think thatthat's the point.
You can delay yourgratification.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, for the end goal, that's more important
(09:05):
no-transcript thing toarticulate in a conversation.
So we're almost like what?
90, 80 episodes now, yeah,we're close to 90.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Right, and we're still dissecting the answer no,
that's a really.
That's a good point.
Um, because when we startedthis show, you know, I remember
you and I talked about it and Isaid you know what?
I don't have anything I'mtrying to promote, right, and
you don't either.
I mean, we're not trying to beconsultants to small businesses.
That's not our, our, our goal.
(09:38):
No, okay, here at all, we justwant to share the information
and we want to clear up a lot ofmisconceptions and bad
information that's out there.
Yeah, yeah, it's just like Iwas talking today.
I mean, our topic isrelationships, right, and I was
talking with a couple who has abusiness and they've been
successful.
They're, they're getting it offthe ground.
(09:59):
It's pretty interestingbusiness they've got and they
sell direct to the consumer.
And you know, we were talkingabout their growth and they
bootstrapped it.
Yeah, okay, very impressivewhat they've been able to do so
far.
Um, but they were talking about,you know well, the mentors
they've had and and, and some ofthe coaches and things like
that, and I said you know what?
(10:20):
Though?
I said be careful who youlisten to.
Yeah, okay, do they really havethe credibility if they've been
there, right, all right,there's a lot of people out
there in this entrepreneurialecosystem that we're part of in
Northwest Arkansas, and you knowwhat I'm talking about.
Yeah, 100%, and they get a lotof money for their nonprofits
(10:45):
that are funded by the SmallBusiness Administration, the
Winrock Foundation, the SBA, nsf, whatever.
Okay, but they haven't reallydone it.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And they're giving them some bad information, right
, and they're giving them somebad information, right.
And you know, I think I'm notsaying you can't learn from
people who haven't done it andwho've studied something
extensively.
You certainly can, but thesepeople don't necessarily fit
that domain either.
That's right.
That's right, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, and it comes down like I think that you and I
recognize, like afterexperience, like you can have
the best plan, the best teaching, the most education, great
experience.
But it really comes down to howyou wake up and see the world.
Boy, no kidding it.
That is so true and and let metell you something too, I think
(11:39):
that you might be able to testthis but but even this morning,
I wake up with, for whateverreason, probably because of
something I read or something Iheard Usually it's a lot of this
Somebody in my day, the daybefore or a few days before, has
(11:59):
implanted fear and concern andworry and doubt in verbal
conversation with me.
Right, and at that time, youknow and I can remember some
specific instances here recentlyas I'm thinking about this At
the time that they had said thatto me, I was positive and it
didn't bother me.
(12:19):
However, they have implanted aseed of doubt and negativity and
fear into your conscious andthe niggles in your subconscious
and I go to sleep and my dreamsmull through my little personal
AI engine, right, yes, it'smulling through all these things
and I wake up and I literallywoke up this morning with just
(12:40):
like this kind of heavyblanketed doubt, yeah, of all
these things that are happening.
And as a human, am I able tobasically reason or emotionally
get through that and say no, no,no, I reject that.
(13:00):
That's not true.
That's just a fear, that'ssomebody else's concern and so
it makes it takes me on focus,but the ability to get through
that individually without thehelp, yeah, and before you go
out and you continue the cancerinto the entire world, right,
right, like that to me is theentrepreneur Like, above all,
(13:25):
doubt, naysayers andcircumstances, macro effects,
all these things Can youindividually rise up and say you
know what I mean, I'm going togo get it.
Can you keep the?
Speaker 1 (13:36):
vision.
It's just all there is to it.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
No, you're right Can you keep the vision, can you
keep the vision, can you refineit, because it's your
responsibility as anentrepreneur.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
That vision, that's so, that's so true yep, well, we
call those the 3 am,heebie-jeebies or whatever.
Usually it's not.
Usually by the time I wake upI'm I mean, I'm already getting
better from that but 3 am well,that's a dark time period, bro,
can be a dark time, I tell you.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Last night I was up so many times, but toward the
dog, that one of our dogs is soafraid of storms, oh my god,
it's terrible but is this yourexperience, like if you get
woken up, like, say, it's likethat happened to me a couple of
times ago, the dog freaking wokeme up yeah, fighting in the
kennel or something right, yeah,yeah.
But once I'm up, yes, boom, thebrain starts acting and it
(14:27):
starts thinking and processingabout what all I need to do well
, I didn't get done.
What all is freaking out?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
I make a lot of do lists at 3 am because of that,
yeah, but yep, you got to keepthe vision.
You gotta, you gotta keep italive.
Um, the people you get advicefrom yeah, we're talking about
relationships today yeah, are socritical.
It's always best, if you wantto be an entrepreneur in my
(14:53):
opinion at least, and I doubtyou would disagree with this
hang out with other successfulentrepreneurs, not failed
entrepreneurs, not people who'venever been entrepreneurs, not
people who've never beenentrepreneurs, not people who've
never had a business.
Hang out with other people whohave actually done it and
prevailed or are going throughthe process, or a minimum you'll
(15:17):
.
You'll inspire each other.
Yeah, you'll advise each other.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
You'll relate to each other.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Yes, and and that's, it's always good to know you're
not alone and it's always goodto learn from other people
who've been there before you.
Sure, you know, and and againyou know I think a lot of
privately held business ownersfeel like they're alone out
there operating.
You know, nobody cares about me, nobody understands me.
(15:44):
Whatever, you know, probablymore often than not their spouse
or mate doesn't get it whatthey're doing.
Oh, and they haven't watched it.
Yeah, and and you know, um, it,it, it, it, it, it, it.
It's not healthy.
I mean, you know you've got tohave somebody else you can.
You can talk to that.
(16:04):
I mean you know you've got tohave somebody else you can talk
to.
That's going to keep you goingand, you know, help you get
through those times.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Well, that's basically what you and I are
doing with this whole show.
That's what we're trying to do.
That's why, when we you knowyou brought this up about this
idea, I mean to me I was excitedabout the topic, but the big
excitement was just to have thisdialogue because it is helpful.
And now every week for the lastalmost two years, right, yeah,
(16:33):
that we're able to have theseconversations and I come out
more encouraged, a little bitmore savvy.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
It's like our own little psychotherapy program
that we share with the world,and God knows we need it.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The best thing is that you and I don't approve or
look at anything we talked about.
It just goes and breathes.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
It does, it just goes , but which makes it a lot more
fun.
But let's talk aboutrelationships.
So they have been pivotal forboth of us and continue to be.
How does what real advice Imean I think everybody gets oh,
relationships are important,okay, I hear that all the time.
Everybody says it, but put someteeth in it.
(17:15):
How do you really form theserelationships with other people
who can benefit you?
I'm not saying I don't want tolook at it totally as a
transaction either Um otherpeople who inspire you, other
people who, um, encourage you,other people it's not just ones
(17:39):
that do business or find youmoney or whatever Um, how do you
form those relationships in thefirst place?
And then, how do you sustainthem?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I mean, I think that the how-to for me is I think it
starts with some curiosity, youknow, and just some genuine, I
think, respect in the sense ofwhere there's everybody you meet
, there's something to learn,there's some sort of connection
there, some sort of peace, thatthat you can, that you know, you
(18:09):
, you get value out of meetingother people.
Yes, you know, I mean, and Ifeel like that, especially in
today's time, post the vid covid, yeah, you know, folks felt
like that you can operate andlive and work and enjoy life in
isolation, yeah, and you don'thave to like there's a.
There is a phenomenon going onof where I don't have to meet
(18:33):
other people, like, like I havemy own, my tech stack can do a
lot for me, I don't need to goout and shake hands and kiss
babies and meet folks and allthat kind of stuff, Right, yeah,
and so they have like devaluedrelationship in general, and I
think that that's very, verydangerous.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Well, it's just, you see it, and just like I'm not
even willing to call somebody,I'll text and email only.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, exactly, I won't pick up the phone and
actually talk, and the more,worse, like if you're at any
Much less go see them Right,talk in the worst, like if
you're at any, much less go seethem right.
Or if you're at a coffee shopand you see somebody that you
recognize and it's somebodythat's clearly could give you
good advice, or somebody youshould get to know, yeah, and
you just say, nah, I don't needthat, I don't have to do that,
(19:19):
no, you don't have to right, youknow and I mean, but do you
make the decision to do it?
That's where the winner isright there, the person that
will, yes, that has such a high,you know, respect and
appreciation for a relationshipthat that will cause you to
overcome this, this basic, youknow thought process of that
(19:43):
relationship is valuable or not.
And if you know that it is,it's a big deal.
And I think that too, likeovercoming your own fears.
Right, like a lot of folks, oneof the big six or seven fears
of all humanity is the fear ofcriticism.
And so if I see you sitting ata coffee shop and I know you're
Mark Zweig and I've seen you onthis show, and I know you're an
entrepreneur, I'm anentrepreneur Do I have the guts
(20:06):
to overcome my own self-fear ofbeing criticized for walking up
and shaking your hand.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, I hear you.
I mean, I think that's a reallygood point.
I mean, a lot of us areintroverts at heart, yeah, and
it's easier to not do that 100%Right, but you never know where
that's going to go.
That's the thing.
You never know where it's goingto go.
It's like I'm sure you get thisa lot like people reach out to
you.
They're like I want to talkwith you, would you meet with me
(20:32):
, talk about my business, or Ijust like to meet you.
I mean, you know what I'mtalking about.
Um, and it's easy to say no,I'm too busy right now.
I got 10 frigging businessesI'm trying to do, or whatever.
Okay, we, you know, we, both ofus.
It, I get it, yeah, but youstill need to invest a certain
(20:56):
amount of time in those peopleand you just never know where
those are going to go.
You don't.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
And there's a karma to it.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah, if you help out other people, then the good
stuff comes to you, buddy.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It's true 100%.
I mean I feel genuinely I havebeen in a spot in both of these
topics, right about approachingpeople.
There's been some people I didnot approach because I allowed
my fear of criticism to get inthe way and I just found it
easier to walk away.
And there's been times whenpeople have reached out to me
(21:32):
that I've like man, I don't havethe time.
And in both of thosecircumstances, any time that I
didn't do what I should havedone, I mean it's been damaging,
but any time that I didn't dowhat I should have done, I mean
it's been it's been damaging,but anytime that I have done, it
has been positively, you know,beneficial.
Yes, because I mean thoserelationships they just compound
(21:54):
, compound, you know, like, andyou're, you're in the same boat
too, like here we are, you know,after a certain 10 year in our
life and experience, and we havenetworks, right, I mean I got
people I can call that I knowwould help me out or that would
be really perfect for somebodythat's starting out new.
I can make a phone call and getconnected really easily and it
(22:15):
makes a big impact.
But that didn't happen in ahalf a year.
This is over a decade, twodecades worth of having a very
high respect and continuous worktowards building relationships,
and then also you just have anetwork.
That's how networks start.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
yeah, it's true.
It's because, like just today,the people I met with are in a
particular industry where I havea friend that they were aware
of who started a business in thesame industry.
It's been very, very successful.
Okay, and they asked me if Iwould introduce them to this
individual, which I'll be gladto do, cause they're on a
(22:55):
parallel path.
They're just not as far downthe road as as he is.
And?
And why do I have arelationship with the other guy,
though, in the first place?
Okay, because I reached out tohim, because I liked what he was
doing, cause you're interested.
Exactly, I thought this is areally cool concept.
(23:17):
What's this guy doing?
You know, yeah, how is he doingit?
How did he get this businesswhere people are buying directly
from him?
Yeah, you know, god knows, it'shard.
If anybody's got a productbusiness out there where you're
trying to sell on your ownwebsite, hard getting days
getting people to your website,man, it's hard.
It's always underestimated inmy experience.
(23:40):
I don't know if you'd agreewith me or not.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
dude, a thousand percent it's, it's hard for the
smallest to the biggest brand inthe world it is.
It is so hard.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
That's why Amazon and Walmartcom and eBay and those
things exist, and Etsy, yeah,because it's hard driving people
to your house.
But anyway, here's somebodywho's done it successfully in
the same industry.
Be great, you know.
Know, maybe you can be veryhelpful with these people at
this point.
He's already achieved hissuccess.
(24:09):
You know, it's not like they'rea threat, right, right and um,
and he's a nice guy and heprobably um, you know, but it's
because I know the guy.
I invested the time to get toknow the guy.
I invested the time to get tomeet the people who who reached
out to me and put them together.
Maybe something good will comeout of that.
You know what good specificallyis going to come out of it?
(24:31):
I don't know, right, I don'tknow right now, right, but you
plant enough of those seeds overyour entire career of 10, 20,
30, 40, 50 years, yep, and wow,you know it's funny.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You can say plant seeds like investing in
relationships is like plant,it's like you know it's farming.
Yes, right, you're justplanting seeds over time.
Yes, you know that there willbe a harvest at some point, but
some of them die, some of themdie some, you know I mean.
But it's definitely not likehunting and you go out for hunt
and you kill and then you getbusiness and I think that's a
(25:06):
very bad perspective of buildingrelationships.
You know, and I've never hadthat mentality.
I think that's why I ended upbuilding a good and saying you
know, we built good networks.
Because we don't approach itthat way.
I don't see a relationship fromsomebody as a opportunity for
me to make a deal.
I see a relationship as okayman that person might have you
(25:27):
know there might be.
Yeah, I could benefit greatlyfrom sales by getting to know
that person, but my motive isnot to do that Like I completely
take it off the table.
I don't even want my braingoing down that way of looking
at another human being assomebody that's going to help me
gain.
Yeah, you know, yes, and if andif I can't get my gain out of
(25:49):
that human in that relationship,then I'm out of the
relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yeah, that's very bad way oh, it is, and you know, it
makes so much sense to me.
Um, when you think about itlike that, um it.
Whenever there are people whohave just an expectation of what
they can get out of you.
You sense that and you don'twant to deal with them.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
And you got you know, no, 100%, and that's what
causes this hesitation for a lotof people to meet with folks.
But but the people like, if, ifI was going to introduce
somebody to you like this, youknow I would meet with this
person first.
They asked to meet with MarcusWag.
I'd be, I'd ask you know, yeah,I'd be happy to maybe make that
(26:39):
introduction, but I'm not goingto actually make that
introduction unless I know theperson I'm meeting with has a
genuine sense of just meetingyou yeah, it's like I want them
to invest in my company.
No, I'm out yeah, I know I'm notgonna pass that email over for
you, bro.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Yeah I know that's that.
I get it.
I, I do.
I do you think it because youand I both grew up in service
related businesses.
That that's why we have thatmentality, as opposed to, let's
say, we grew up in a productbusiness where you're just
selling a product.
That like relationships,because if you're serving
(27:15):
clients, yes, everything's notabout how much money I'm going
to make on that job, it's moreof the.
I'm looking at the relationship.
They need help?
Okay, we'll help them out.
Does that cost us money?
Yeah, maybe that costs us money.
We don't make money on everyjob we do for them, but it's all
part of the relationship.
It's necessary to sustain therelationship, to create goodwill
(27:38):
.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yeah, I think probably.
So.
You know, when you say that,like I'm thinking about, my
first service job is waitingtables, oh, great experience.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Everybody should do it.
Everyone should be waitingtables.
I never did, but everybodyshould do it.
I've worked on bikes, but youcould say it's different, but in
a lot of ways it was similar.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Yeah, very similar, because, like, if my job is how
many, how much of a tip am Igoing to make?
Yeah, am I going to make, andit's all about getting them in,
getting them out, getting mycheck, you know, getting my tips
and that's it.
But if you approach the tableas, how do I make this a
wonderful experience for them?
They work hard for their money.
They're here to invest money ingood food, good experience, and
(28:16):
I have the honor and privilegeto create this experience for
them.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Exactly and think how happy they're going to be.
And then that makes you happy.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You feel good, you did something good, yeah, when
you have a table of four peopleor my favorites were the bigs,
like.
I worked at the Olive Gardenback in the early days I know it
is one of the fables.
I helped them open it up butthey had this.
They called it the farm room orsomething like that, but it was
this semi-separated room thathad like a tin top table, and so
(28:51):
it was for big families thatcame in.
Well, very few of the waitersreally ever wanted to work that
because it took a lot of work.
Yeah, however, I love to workit because I had this chance to
be the maestro of this familyexperience and they would come
in and I would have them waters,I would make sure that they got
(29:13):
their appetizers, they gottheir check fast and make jokes
and I would just get to know thepeople and then they walk away
and their family had great timerelationally together, right,
and the in the business isrepresented.
Well, I always got tipped alittle bit better because I gave
them a great experience.
(29:33):
Yeah, you know, and you feelgood, you feel like you
accomplish something yeah, maybethey come back.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
And next time they come back in they go, I want
that eric guy.
Can we sit with him?
He was so much fun.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, absolutely, you know and that builds your
repeat business and I mean it'sjust good.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yeah, it's, it's so true and it's also, you know,
like you said, I think it's veryrewarding when you can connect
people who help each other.
Again, I did that recently.
I connected two of my friends.
I got a call from one of themtoday on the way up here in my
car telling me I just gottogether with so-and-so.
(30:09):
Thank you for introducing me tohim.
What a great guy.
We had so much fun talkingtogether and we've got so much
in common, yeah.
And I thought, yeah, that'snice, I feel good about that.
You know, it was good.
I connected the two.
Maybe they can work together,maybe they won't.
(30:32):
You know, my friend, they'reboth my friends.
You know, I got a call from oneof them thanking me for it.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
That makes me feel like I helped him out, you know
you know, as you're talkingabout this market, makes me
think about just the question ingeneral of how to start a
successful business, and thereason it's so challenging to
answer that is because it's notone thing.
Amen to that.
And honestly, I don't know thatI necessarily know a really
good answer, other than there'sthis flywheel that is very soft
(31:00):
and mushy and it's acomprehensive thing and it's and
it becomes this momentum.
You know it's the same thingthat relationships do.
Yeah, you know, like you've gotto look at relationship
building as it's a long-termfarming exercise that you just
respect and understand and youknow intuitively that it's a
(31:22):
good thing.
Yeah, human beings are part ofour life and our existence.
It's good to help, it's good toyou know, to have these
relationships and haveconversations and over time it
just builds itself.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
It generates a flywheel effect.
That's like a perpetual motionmachine.
It is, yeah, it just keepsdriving you forward it does it
does.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
It is not a single.
There's not a singlerelationship in my life that I
can point to right that thathelped me become successful in
whatever I've done.
It is a comprehensive yeah,it's a sweet, it is a yes, it is
a sweet.
It's a sweet, it is a yes, itis a sweet.
It's a language, and that's thepoint of the word network,
right, there's a networkflywheel effect that develops
(32:10):
Right and this person talks tothis person about you.
They both agree and there couldbe some negatives in there, but
if they both agree, he's a goodguy, you know.
Yeah, like I really like it.
There's something about thatperson right, and it's because I
want to get to know this otherperson.
They remember that.
Like right, anybody that hasyou know has a meeting or or
(32:33):
like you're in any relationship.
If I was to dedicate more of myeffort to listening to you and
understanding you, you're goingto greatly appreciate that.
Doesn't matter if it's marriage, friendship, friendship
business anything, yeah, and sothat's what you do.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
That's your emotional intelligence.
What about?
You know?
People say emotionalintelligence is such a huge
factor.
I mean, I've got a stat here90% of top performing employees
possess high emotionalintelligence.
It says influencing 58 of jobperformance.
Source electoral q.
(33:09):
I don't know what that is, but,um, I don't exactly understand
those percentages.
But I'll say, anecdotally, theones that have good emotional
intelligence are the ones thatget ahead right.
I mean, it's like I've got, youknow, I got this 14 year old
daughter.
I mean, I know you got girlstoo.
You know she's my youngest one.
(33:29):
Um, she's probably, of all ofthem, maybe the least
academically oriented.
I mean, she does okay in school.
It's not that hard to do wellin school these days.
I don't think the standards aresuper high.
Truthfully, she probably neverread an entire book cover to
cover.
She became a mature person whocould read anything.
(33:50):
However, emotionalintelligence-wise, she's
probably at the top of all mykids, and so I have just very
high expectations for what she'sgoing to be able to accomplish.
Yeah, she knows how to makerelationships with other people.
She's tuned in to other peoplebetter than any of them.
(34:14):
Yeah.
And it's such a great skill, youknow.
I mean, she's got an oldersister.
The next one up is a straight,a student.
She does not have the samedegree of emotional intelligence
.
I'm not trying to say she won'tbe successful either, because
she will be, but maybe not inthe same way or maybe not to the
same extent as the younger onethat seems to be so much more
(34:38):
tuned into the relationships.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
And I think that there's a misconception that
emotional intelligence is onlyreserved for those extroverted,
outgoing type people, and it'snot true.
It's something you can totallylearn, just like the iq right.
I mean like you can.
You can improve, you can learn,you can research, you can, but
you understand you said it earlyon, though just ask more
(35:01):
questions.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
just stop talking about yourself, yeah, and ask
more questions about the otherperson, not only will you learn
from them?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
they will like you more 100% and people you know
and I think you know.
Emotional intelligence to mecomes into like reading the
written, reading, thedisposition of somebody.
Seeing how you're beingperceived individually 100, like
you're talking about the coffeeshop, if you, if I see at the
coffee shop and I see that youlook frantic, yeah, right, or
(35:33):
that you're under a lot ofpressure or you're busy, you're
trying to get right, does thatmean you're gonna stop and and,
yeah, and try to have this longconversation?
No, I might, but I do seesignificant value in, in, in,
like, as you're walking out,that I'm walking out the same
time and I go.
Mark eric again, we met theother day.
Sure, good to see you, have agreat day.
(35:54):
Yeah, that's a relationshipbuild that was emotionally
intelligent.
That I recognize.
You're busy, you're going toappreciate it, you're going to
remember me, but I didn'tnegatively disrupt you and and
make your day a little worse.
Like I let you go, yeah, butthat's an emotional intelligence
.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You made that decision.
You, you, yeah, you.
You were astute enough yeah um,like today.
I mean, you and matt waller.
Both were in the coffee shopwhile I'm talking with these
other people.
You could see we weren't havinga stressful conversation, right
?
You look at the body language,how we're sitting there, the
expression on our faces,whatever the fact that you're
(36:33):
looking up and you're smilingand you're happy to engage Right
.
Totally appropriate to engagein that scenario.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
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Speaker 2 (36:55):
Dude, it's so funny we're talking about this.
I have been in coffee shopstalking with somebody about some
sort of significantconversation and I look up and I
see somebody and I can I canrecount exactly who the person
is and I don't know this personvery well, right Like.
But I do know them from otherevents and we have had times
(37:17):
where we've talked in roomstogether.
Sure, and this person literallyI'll be middle, talking to you
about something serious.
I see them, I wave at them, butI look back at you and I keep
talking.
Right, I have a clear signal tothat person.
I don't need to be interruptedright now, but this freaking
person has the audacity to comeand walk up to the table and
(37:40):
stand there with a big smile ontheir face and I have to.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
They didn't have the emotional they did not Required.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
No, they didn't.
And here's the thing.
They're trying to build arelationship with me, right, but
I'm in my mind going I don'twant anything to do with it.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
That's a negative.
Yeah, you know it's a funny.
I mean, this coffee shop overhere blows my mind.
Over here blows my mind.
Yeah, anytime you go in there,you probably know half the
people in there.
Yeah, I mean, it's just networkcity, baby, it is absolute.
Like the hub of coffee shopnetworking in this area blows me
away.
And I see people.
I know their face but I can'tremember who they are.
(38:17):
Yeah, in fact, I saw a coupleof them today.
Yeah, in there, but um, sothat's a good, that's a good
point.
I was having lunch with my wiferecently at a place just a
couple of months ago and then Isaw a guy I know who was well
across the room.
He was obviously having one ofthese intense business
discussions.
(38:38):
Ok, I did not go over there andintroduce myself, but I also and
introduce myself, but I also II wanted to say get.
When he got up I was going tosay goodbye somehow I was
talking with my wife weredistracted enough that I would
look up and they're gone, yeah,okay.
So I thought to myself you knowwhat?
I don't want this guy to thinkI was dissing him.
(38:58):
Sure, I mean, we're friends,yeah.
So I called him afterward andsaid hey, hey, man.
I said I'm sorry, I saw youover there today.
I didn't say anything to you.
By the time I was going to youguys were obviously having an
intense conversation I was goingto, but then I looked up and
you were gone.
I just don't want you to thinkI was ignoring you or didn't see
(39:20):
you.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Dude, that is such a good example of strong emotional
intelligence.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Because you didn't have to make that call.
I did not have to make thatcall at all.
I could have just left it go,but I just but you're sustaining
how that that you could haveaffected that person.
Right you might think, yeah,swyke's kind of an asshole.
He saw me, didn't even, didn'teven, you know, make any attempt
to recognize me.
Yeah, what a jerk.
Yeah, I hate him, you know whathe's gonna to recognize me.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
Yeah, what a jerk.
Yeah, I hate him.
You know what he's going to do.
He's going to go talk to hisbuddies and say you know what?
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, that's swagger.
Yeah, who the hell does hethink he?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
is he thinks he's such an?
Speaker 1 (39:54):
asshole.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
But being aware like that is so important and I think
that people disregard that.
And it's not just emotionalintelligence about that person,
but it's when you leave and yougo, man, I should text that
person or whatever.
But then you're like, oh no,it's not a big deal, that's not
emotional intelligence on yourpart about the other person.
(40:17):
Yeah, but it's caring and it'shaving when we say emotional
intelligence, is caringgenuinely enough about the
feelings of other people exactly.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I tell you it's.
This is really interesting.
I never really thought aboutthis like this.
Okay, and you know, some peoplemight say I don't have the ei I
should have.
But I was at the country clubpool here this last weekend and
I went there with my one of mydaughters and her friend and
myself.
(40:48):
My wife was going to come alonglater.
So I walk in and I go past thiswoman and she says hey, mark
swig.
And I'm like hey, I could notremember who she was.
Okay, it, absolutely it.
Just, you know, I mean I'mgetting older, dude.
I thank god I got my wife,because generally between the
two of us you'd be like, okay,we put the name together, yeah.
(41:11):
So anyway, about 15, and youknow it's bugging me, I can't
think of her name.
She called me by my name and mydaughter comes over and says,
hey, um, did you see so-and-so'sat the pool here?
I'm like, oh God, now I knowwho that is.
So I got up.
By then this person had movedacross the pool to a different
(41:33):
place.
First she was on my side, thenshe moved over to the other side
where the cabanas are.
I went over there and saidsomething to her like hey, I'm
sorry, I didn't recognize youwhen you, when I first came in,
I you know you're out of context.
This is not where I'm used toseeing you.
Yeah, yeah and and um, I thinkit was appreciated.
(41:55):
I guess that's all I'm saying.
Yeah, you know, I acknowledgeit.
I could have just said, oh god,that was terrible, I'm
embarrassed and not gone overthere.
But I made the effort to goover there to at least express
the fact that I felt bad aboutnot initially recognizing who
she was you know what, what'sfunny when we're digging in this
(42:15):
conversation a little more.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
It is very deep, it's very intuitive, because a lot
of our feelings and ouremotional intelligence is
genuinely baked in and taught tous very young ages, like we
don't.
We don't even know how welearned them, but we just
learned.
And it's usually our family,right, you know, and, yeah,
those circumstances could beimpacted by a million things
(42:37):
that you have no idea.
Why, right, you know, you don'tknow why your mom or your dad
was always angry or they weretired or depressed or what all
these negative things, or whythey're super happy and go lucky
and whatever, and have theirperspectives.
We just kind of grow up in it,you know, but it's, I think,
when you get into the and thenyou go to school and then you
(42:58):
have all these other rules andregulations and but then you go
into the professional life,right and now now.
But then you go into theprofessional life, right, and
now it's go time.
It's like who are the ones thatreally win in business?
They're the ones that have gotthis confidence and this
emotional intelligence andthey're thinking, they're always
navigating, they're alwayswinning, they're competing, they
(43:21):
care, huh, they care, they care, they care about their success.
Everything, yeah, everything,like just hammer down, pedal to
the metal.
They care, huh, they care, theycare, they care about their
Everything, yeah, everything,everything, like just hammer
down, have it in the metal.
I'm going to go get, you know,I'm going to get what's mine,
you know, and I think thatpeople like we don't understand,
like why we might behave theway that we behave, because you
know but it all in the swimmingpool circumstance you're talking
(43:42):
about somewhere along the way,you, you, you have learned the
importance of making sure thatsomebody else feels a certain
way.
Yeah, and you know that that'simportant to them.
It's important to you that theyfeel that way, and so you do
have a higher emotionalintelligence that maybe a lot of
(44:02):
other folks don't.
Yeah, like they don't care.
Yeah, they don't care how youfeel, like it's not don't.
Yeah, like they don't care,yeah, they don't care how you
feel, like it's not theirproblem, right exactly?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
they don't care how you feel, and that doesn't
engender any loyalty on yourpart.
It doesn't.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And I'll give you a warm and fuzzy.
It doesn't.
And I and I'll tell you likehow is the rubber meets.
The road here is we're talkingabout entrepreneurism, we're
talking about building abusiness.
You don't have to, as anindividual, have to have high
emotional intelligence.
You can totally be a jackassand not care about anybody's
(44:34):
feelings.
There are people who succeedlike that, 100%, and they, you
know, those folks either workthey can be successful in
business or they can work otherplaces where they don't ever
have to have emotionalintelligence because it doesn't
matter, like the post office.
Yeah, like you're talking about.
Right, there's no standard foremotional intelligence.
(44:56):
That needs to happen.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
But if you're an entrepreneur, your chances of
success you'd probably be moresuccessful, though, at the post
office if you had it.
Oh, you'd rise to the brinks,you'd become a manager, you'd
become the postmaster you met.
You know.
Whatever I mean, yeah, yeah Imean, get it emotional.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Intelligence always benefits.
It does.
But if you're an entrepreneur,you need to have, you need to
dig into this puppy.
Yes, you do.
You need to focus and listenand watch and research and
practice and improve and grow inemotional intelligence.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
Put yourself into the uncomfortable position,
sometimes just because, even ifyou don't want to, because you
feel like you have to.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Yeah, you have to understand what this means.
What it means to impact otherpeople in the value of
relationships and having theemotional intelligence to know
the value of relationships.
Like, if you don't see valuerelationships, you're
discounting them and you're anentrepreneur and you for some
reason think that that'ssomething that can be done,
because you saw Mark Zuckerbergdo it in a news article that you
(46:00):
read 15 years ago and he's likehe doesn't have to have it, I
don't have to have it.
Bullshit.
Yeah, you just minimize yourchances way, way, way, way down
I, it's so true.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
I don't I don't know where I necessarily learned it,
but I I can say really early onin my professional career,
post-grad school, I was sellingexpensive professional services.
Yeah, and I had success with it, and one of the reasons why was
I just called my clients andpotential clients when I had
(46:33):
nothing to try to sell them atall.
You'd be friends with that, ofcourse.
I had a guy tell me youeventually ended up being the
reason I got hired at a companythat what he liked about me was
I would just call him up andtalk to him.
Yeah, you're genuine.
He just said.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
You just call him up and talk to him.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah, you're genuine.
He just said you just call meup and talk to me.
You had nothing.
You were trying to sell me.
Yeah, that isn't hard, that waseasy.
I mean, honestly, it was easierfor me than trying to sell him
something.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
You know 100%.
I mean people look man, I thinkthe one of the biggest things,
and here's the, and I think oneof the biggest things and here's
the okay.
So I know I got to roll, we gotto roll.
One of the big values ofrelationships is that you've
already established thecredibility, the likability, the
connection.
People usually don't buy thingsuntil they're ready to buy them
(47:26):
.
Exactly If you convince them.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Especially in a B2B environment, they're not ready
to buy them.
Exactly if you convince them,especially in a b2b environment,
they're not going to buy itimpulsively, like I just feel
like hiring something.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
Yeah, I just yeah, this guy convinced me that I
bought me to buy something,right, like that's.
That's usually like you can winthat way, and I think there's
an art to that and I haverespect for that.
But the reality is is the way Ithink about it is that people
know who I am, my character,they know what I do, they see my
experience and when theyfinally say, you know what, I
(47:56):
think that doing video ads onsocial media is actually a good
idea.
Right, we need to do that.
Who do I trust to do that?
And it's an easy, an easy, andthen I'm happy to help.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
And then selling is helping.
Again, I always go back to MattLewis, who's general manager at
Lewis Automotive.
He always says first they gotto know you, then they got to
like you.
They're not going to like youif they don't know you.
And then, if they like you,then you got to get them to
trust you.
They're not going to trust youif they don't like you and they
don't know you.
There's an order of operationsthere, and then selling is just
(48:33):
helping.
Help them get what they wantDone.
Okay.
Help them get what they want.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
I mean that to me is just a beautiful relationship
there and then sustain thatrelationship over time and build
a lifetime relationship and alifetime customer yeah, and you,
once you have trust, you got tokeep that trust earned right
and don't let that, because youknow if you break that trust
then I mean it ruins therelationship.
(49:01):
It does.
You're gonna wish they didn'tlike you and then at one point
and you're gonna wish theydidn't even know you.
Yeah, it's like once you strayyou.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
You are never going to be the same.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Man.
I think that's a good way toend that.
First they got to know you,Then they got to like you, Then
they got to trust you.
That's a good hot point for howto build relationships.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
I said and then you help, then you just help.
Yeah, it's so easy, it's somuch better.
It is, I agree, feel betterabout yourself, man.
I mean you're going to be moresuccessful.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Well, and one of the things about entrepreneurship
that I can say that I enjoy themost is helping yes.
I have helped to buildsomething that has helped other
people build.
That's honor, that's gratitude,that's people build.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
That's honor, that's gratitude, that's oh, absolutely
that lets me know that I'veaccomplished something in my
life and that's one of the greatthings about owning your own
business is you can make thedecision to help.
You don't have corporate orsome manager telling you you
can't give this away or youcan't spend your time like that
or whatever.
You can make that call that'sright, entirely on your round.
That's a great thing.
That's freedom.
(50:11):
That is, it's valuable stuff.
Well, hey, we're out of time.
We are.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you to our listeners andto you, eric.
If you do want to check out ourpast episodes, get big talk
about small businesscom.
If you've gota product orservice that you think we might
(50:34):
be interested in representing,uh, send us a, a message and
we'll be glad to take a look atit.
Yep and uh, otherwise, uh,we're going to be back here
again next week.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Aren't we for a big, for another episode of Big Talk?
Speaker 1 (50:52):
About Small.
Business.
Speaker 4 (51:04):
Thanks for tuning into this episode of Big Talk
About Small Business.
If you have any questions orideas for upcoming shows, be
sure to head over to our website,
wwwbigtalkaboutsmallbusinesscomand click on the Ask the Host
button for the chance to haveyour questions answered on the
show.
Stay connected with us onLinkedIn at Big Talk about Small
(51:25):
Business and be sure to headover to our website to read
articles, browse episodes andask questions about upcoming
shows.
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