October 31, 2024 • 25 mins
In this engaging conversation, the hosts and guests explore various themes surrounding relationships, accountability, and the dynamics of love within the Black community. They delve into the complexities of narcissism and manipulation, the debate over financial responsibilities in relationships, and the significance of marriage and two-parent households in shaping the community. The discussion emphasizes the importance of personal growth and accountability in fostering healthier relationships.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What do you want me to say?
(00:01):
Street school.
Grammar Street school.
(00:39):
My. Yeah, I went up.
Yeah. Hey, listen,
we back real quick with a little plug in.
Let me in.
We want to,
ask about black live.
(01:00):
Yesterday.
But anyway, it just threw me out.
You have, said I was expecting anything.
I just fucking with the I.
Now, I want to talk about kind of.
Billy.
Talk about it with a narcissist
who's a narcissist.
(01:23):
Who's a nice.
This is just because I just switchedcameras humanizes it.
I mean, who we got here,first of all, there.
Who you got here?
Let us start with the lady first, man.
Let's start with the cattle.We get the one.
It only ties.
It's not the ugliest 19 on Instagram.
It to us.
I love that it's, two of them.
(01:44):
I guess we got mad dopelike Rambo did that, though.
The Bible Sabbath book.
Yeah.
Who else we got?
Play the man.
You know, we have spook man, aren't they?
Everybody just comes.
You you just food.
(02:06):
So we talking.
So who's a narcissist, Yeah.
Who's a narcissist? They make that.
I mean, I feel like everybody got alittle bit a little bit of that, you know?
But I was really referring to myself.
So you saying you say you
a motherfucking narcissist so I can be.
I ain't saying I am, I can be, I can be,I will be a manipulator.
(02:28):
You of.
Can you just fuck thatcouple of your inboxes.
They, they call regardless.
They come regardless
like that.
Like I ain't know I say I'mno, I'm not toxic.
I said, I didn't say I am when I say it,I could be one.
Everybody could be one, y'all.
If you only y'all know,then I only know the motherfucking that I.
(02:50):
You see that people?You know what? You know what's crazy?
People. That's nigga's problem.
Y'all know I think accountability.
Y'all be lying.
You could be a nurseand you could be manipulated. You can.
You know,I'm telling of what was going on is crazy.
Whenever that is crazy.That's what I think.
That's a woman sport. No mean. Yeah.
(03:11):
I'm not going to hold you.
I don't know how young niggas whatever.
Like if I was, you might have been like inI got manipulated before by accident.
To get them over this.
And now I get.
Let's talk about that right anyway.
Because. Yeah. Because
I'm like.
But there's also different types.
Yeah. Okay. Your feet, there's booty.
(03:31):
I'm saying
it's different types of manipulationimages, all the types of manipulation.
So when you got manipulated by accident.
By default.
How does that work.
Right. What happened in that scenario.
Basically you came to me as this.
So now you was a great person.
But you know you go to a honeymoon stagewhen you first start forgot
(03:52):
somebody is this.And their forehead isn't it.
And then I know where all of us get ittweaking on you, cursing you out.
And so most of doit was you going out with your TV there?
No, I don't even got no titties.
I ain't got no nobody looking at my tits.
I got so much is maybe not a little baby.
Well, think about it.You don't me? No, man. No clue.
(04:13):
I'm taking serious.
I mean, oh, man.
In Oklahoma, it took in series.
You don't do that.All right, well, let me ask you this.
You think experience has something to dowith the fact that you got a minute?
They don't actually say no.
It's not even. It'snot even the experience.
I'm not going to lie.
Like, you would think you made the mess,but I guess, I mean,
you think you make the best of your lifeand you cycle with all this.
(04:35):
One day is one day. It's like a flip.
It's like, damn it, you know,
you were just cookingbecause I first came round you cooking?
I'm always the chicken. I mean,
but, you know.
Hey, I got a question.
I know that's not I know that'snot my job, but I got a question.
I was asking this. I'mthe only female in Islam.
(04:56):
You know how you ask for versatility.
Amen. Ooh.
I feel like if your motherfucking is going
to make some.
Make the bread of good.
Like there ain't no way in hell you thinkI'm going to be able to say my shit.
And they get you and you, Jesus and these.
(05:16):
And you had to come, come,come with some truth.
Yeah.
The word.
No, no, I didn't say no.
I ain't say not work.
I say how you feel about 5050
g that when I'm talking about God now,you better have a job or something.
You got this?
Regardless if she have a job, like I'm.
No, no, no, you got it, got it.
You got something to the day.
(05:37):
Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. That's it.You get that?
You been working, you say?
Yeah, I was, I'm going to do.
My mother was wrong. What's wrong with me?
Let me say this.
I is what works for you.
That's what I'm.
It was work for you in your relationship,
your man, financial situation,your financial situation.
(05:58):
Y'all got to come together and see, like,okay,
you're making this much,but like, as a man, you making this much.
But you may need a little help on thisor you, you you got you was doing great,
but you a little fucked upor you in between.
What you doing? Whatever.
Yeah, I feel like a woman should step inand be able to help.
I feel like some of us,they don't feel that they need you, bro.
(06:18):
Fuck, yeah.
I'm out, like 5050.
I'm telling 5050.
Like, it really depends on reallywhat works for you.
But my thing is with the 5050 situation,like a lot of times
I'm not going to see a lot of times
because women will be like,you mean pick me that? And not no.
But seriously, it's just
a lot of men is making way more moneythan women like the NBA and women's
(06:40):
NBA to me, making way more money than whatthe women in the women's NBA.
So it's just like itdepends on where everybody pockets is.
Yeah, I feel like, yes,the men should pay these bills and a woman
should take careof the household. Correct.
But if you I can't do that right at thismoment, you should be able to help him.
And if you can't help you, baby,you fucked up too.
(07:00):
You fuckedup. Women will right along with them.
I feel like you should be able to help.
I feel like that's a bad examplebecause if I'm in the NBA,
you in the WNBA,the man in the NBA is making way for 20.
Yeah, she did some money, right. It was.
They got the money
I got there.
(07:20):
Give money. Yeah some of themget some money.
But at the end of the dayyou missing the whole point.
The men are still making way more money.
Tell you how you know how itand who they are,
how you feel about the 5050.
I mean, I kind of agree with itbecause like.
And so girl, if she shows you back,then she's to have you back, you know.
(07:41):
But I don't feel like she alwaysshould be paying the going 5050 now.
She ain't always been going to 5050.
She should be able to step in.
You shouldn't be on no one.
You shouldn't be on a womanthat it's not able to step.
Man, I feel like you shouldn't even
move.
So. Yeah. Move in the house.
There you go. With your namenot being on the lease.
(08:02):
They both on.
I'm going to at least bring it over there.
You mean you gotta be paying them the.
No, I'm still taking careof the household.
I'm still feeding you likeI still gotta fuck you every night.
Like what I'm saying?
Get to the house.
I'm like, you have to please.
You still have to please your man.
At any rate,that is a part of the household.
(08:23):
Because yo, man, they please at home,you go get it somewhere else.
That is a part of the householdthat definitely is a part of our household
that bills they you know youwhat's your name when these are not. Yes.
So then if I see some of the redthat's what I see.
That's what. Did you not hear what I said?
I said you're a woman.
Should be able to step in when needed.
(08:47):
Your woman should be sleeping.
You shouldn't be with nobody who likeif you if you fucked up right now,
you can't pay this.
They need it is.
They need it.
Need what?
Like.
Like my fucking rent, nigga.
That's just.
Damn. That's why you had to pay.
You have to work at it.
I am on my am.
I gotta get the work I whatever the fuck.
(09:09):
Have a go if you ain't got it this time.
Yeah, I got it. Bam, I ain't gotta be.
Damn, you got it.
Bam bam bam.
Give that back. No, you have to go.
You ain't gotta pay fucking back.
But, like, I mean, it is.
Make it look so I can.
It's because I'll be 5050.
Could be like I take it or they choose.
You got the other thing.
(09:29):
Shit. I'll pay the phone bill.
Look good.
Fuck is that?
What is that? What is that okay?
Your phone?
Yeah. The groceries.
Like a woman. Time in time.
Because you know what is.
Yeah, yeah.
The groceries
I don't I was,I was being so I was trying to be smart
with the phone bill,but no, you got a woman.
(09:50):
If the man paying all these bills, baby,
with some groceries in the houseevery time I come home so tired.
Got a question for, like, five topicsI can move in on the me
I was so tired.
The three that societyand like the fact that like
the value of a dollar has changedsince in the culture we was raised on,
(10:11):
because it was a point in timewhere a man typically could work a job
and make enough moneyto pay for an entire household.
We don't necessarily live in a societyanymore, you know what I'm saying?
Honestly, we don't at all.
And sometimes, sometimes,but sometimes in certain situations,
a man might be able to work two, maybethree jobs and be able to to do that.
(10:32):
You know what I'm saying?
So withingiven like the way society of society
has changed economically,do you like factor that in.
Yeah. That's what I'm.
Yeah that's that's what I was getting it.
That was my whole point with thelike okay.
Well my man paying all the billsbut you know like you said
like everything's changed now.
Like if you need me to step in to pay thisand that, that's fine.
(10:55):
But I don't feel like a womanshould have to go 5050 every single time.
So to Rambo,
when she say,
stepping down the noise,you know, here you go.
If you step in, it's like like so longas you say,
hey, it should be like you motherfuckerto be, yeah.
Hey, baby.
(11:15):
People like, I ain't going to 5050 at all.
Yeah,and never have you don't never with life.
Like in reality, people,I'm not never going for it in reality.
In today's life,
he can get whatever he don't.
He could be fucked up the dayand or can't go to work or can't do this.
Can't do that because he in abecause he does in a hospital
or some damn you ain't go helpyou ain't go pay this low bill.
(11:39):
But she should not have to do thatevery single time.
That's all I'm saying.
I feel like with myselfI applied it to myself.
I feel like if you fucked up like you,you broke in. You got no money.
I don't feel likeyou should be in a relationship.
Because when I was fucked upand I have my car and shit like that,
I didn't really try to takenobody's series,
because I don't feel likeyou should be able to have to, like,
take,take care of me or had to come pick me up
(11:59):
every single timebecause I don't have a car right now.
I need to go get my shit together,and then we just.
We'll work something out.
That's probably more of a female things,because I don't really care about it.
Yeah, that'swhy I say niggas don't care about it.
But as a female, you should care about it.
You should want more for yourself.
Like I males don't care about that.
But as a female you should want to see itcome big.
Yeah, yeah,that's something that you own the right.
(12:21):
That's. You don't need it. No
I ain't it.
When I was with themI ain't have no car in the past.
Never do, ain't never have no problem.
Come and pick me up and do thisand do that for me.
But I'm saying as a female,that's what I'm saying.
It's not the main point of youas a female point of view.
How you looking at yourself?
You should want more for yourself.
You should want to be able to do moreor have more.
(12:41):
Let me, let me transition a bit.
I'm going to start with you, smoothie.
With, how do you think
or do you think marriagein the black community
affects
our community moving forward?
Yeah.
(13:02):
I don't even think people careabout marginalized.
No, no,but that's that's not the question.
The question is, do you think,
you know or how do you
think, really, marriageaffects our community moving forward?
Do you think it affects our communitymoving forward?
I don't know, really.
I really don't, because you got towhat it would take you to get married.
(13:24):
That's a lot of people saythey ain't never getting married.
I mean, okay, so you got a junior.
Yeah.
You think is important.
To like.
Your personal community
to me about marriage.
I know that's a tough question,because marriage is crazy.
(13:48):
You know, since he already here now.
So marriage is going to bethe next person.
Well,
yeah.
Well,I would have been offended with you. Me?
And you had to put it like that.That isn't the heart.
That was not me and my baby mama.We real cool.
You know, together.
She got her own man. Like we go for him.
(14:09):
Very well. So
for me, I'm talking about.
Oh, her.
I don't know what it is you.
Okay, okay.
Well,
Miss lady,
do you think marriage is importantfor our community?
At one point in time in my lifewhen I was younger, I still am young.
(14:29):
When I was younger, like,I never get married. 30
that.
See how this happens?
Just play as this player.
But I at one point in time in my life,I was like,
I never getmarried, I'll never want to get married.
But like, it is like right nowit's toxic in be real, real toxic.
But I do feel like at one pointin my life, I do want it some day.
(14:51):
I do want to get married, have to picketwhite fence and all of that.
I still do believe in it, regardlessof how you try to put it,
is no perfectmarriage is ups and downs, isn't it?
But you know, even a key step,not only you, you ain't doing that though.
When I say ups and downs,
like could be sometimes financial stuffor my person depressed, isn't it?
But single step out on me. No,I ain't going for that.
(15:12):
But I definitely do believe in marriage.
Big bow.
Amen.
I don't know if they should go
and change the but I mean change the worldand and what I mean set up for
like if that's what you want to doand do what I believe.
I mean, you're the you love the marriage.
I mean, because I asked all you guys nowand this is
going to be a general question, theI think it's important for our community
(15:35):
to see like that kind of unity. Yes.
It's too many broken households.
She that and niggasguys stop killing each other personally.
But that too is, is that niggas ain'tliving long enough to see no fucking man.
So you need a 15I would you sweet trip them.
No. Why?
In taking them out of schoolwhy yes I would a switch.
(15:56):
Yeah okay. So we stay like why is
what is the other thingto do for your household to change that.
Yeah. That's.
No, that's my nigga woman.
That is the woman.
And no, that person. Amazing.
Regardless of how you try to put it.
Like it's about you on the side,the marriage would actually help
the community.
I mean,even if it ain't marriage up to like you.
(16:18):
Also, do you have two pairs? Oh, God.
The the the difference is a big thing.
Like I said it
like we're going to how you try to put itlike people need a mom and they for
they like, they both like regardlesshow you try to put it like, oh I'm good.
Yes, I'm good at it.
And they,
you don't knowwhat could have been different
living in the housewith your mom and your dad
(16:38):
or without them separatedlike you got to do this.
You got to do that.
I got to figure out and do this,or you got to meet a new person.
Is my step dad my step mom like thatdo affect people in long run.
Like you don't think you doright in the deer with some people do.
I feel like that is a big thing.
Like if I was to get marriedor I was to ever have kids,
I would want it to bein a two parent household.
But I don't feel like people should stayin a toxic two parent household.
(17:01):
Like if y'all really talks and is showinglike your kids to see this in it,
I feel like that'swhen you should separate.
You got to go.
Well, what about if both of your parents,like, would see it's
the it's okay is going to be raisedlike they say you got good parents.
They just firecrackers.
There's some firecrackers.
(17:22):
Okay. Let's go to heaven. My God.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Let's just because the dead in the housecould be good.
It just depends on what's so.
Because the single mom,she can't really teach me how to be.
Exactly.
That's what's importantfor two parent households.
But at the same time, a lot of me
being come from a single mom.
(17:43):
Okay.
But I still be a little messed up too.
So let me throw a wrench in there.
Let me ask you guys this.
What about situations
like somebody mentioned earlier,like great co-parenting situations.
Do you think that is just as effective?
Yeah, because a lot of the better babymamas, better baby daddies.
(18:04):
But you know what took you to seethe daddy because of personal reasons?
It's it's crazy.
Yeah. Seven square.
I don't like those type of females.
Ladies, if you're a baby mamaand you don't let old chow go see today
because he got another girlfriend,little girl go to therapy.
And I ain't got no kids, but is good.
Okay, maybe go to therapy.
(18:26):
Tomatoes, you know, stuffgoing to be pieces, but that's better.
That's messing with your tail.
I think that. Okay, so
let me let me ask you guys this.
What about
step parents.
And and and I'm
(18:46):
I'm going to be specificwith the question.
Does it make sense.
Not even adorable to be doing
she I wouldyou know I got a couple bam on the kid.
But, I do what I'm supposed to do.
The issue, it would get.
(19:06):
But she said I said, I will.
I, I it out of the game,but I'm always doing what I do for my.
So like, you know, I make no sense there.
But there's, you know,we landed statically
technically God would forgive us.
He would saying,you ain't got to see cuz I got, you know,
boy, that's what I feel like I need to do.
(19:29):
It is I'm like, man,or this is a negative.
Don't come see his kid is like,
yeah, I said, they're going to meansomething to the kid.
But like I agree with Marky isI ain't looking at it.
No new boyfriend.
Like no step dad.
Couldn't agree to disagree. Not no.
Do it. You like?
I feel like you need to call himby his name.
Yeah. Don't call.
(19:50):
If I, don't call thosefolks, they're calling that nickname.
Yeah. Wasn't meant hang. Go, man.
Come on, man, you okay?
Okay, listen,I ain't going to give them nobody else.
Nobody can.
And y'all, for your damn friendsin your life, you need cards.
Okay. Bye. See now.
Okay, but see that get crazy though, too,because
(20:11):
you got some situationswhere a person might be in Ikea.
Life literally from from birth.
That mean the daddy went there.
You can call it in. That's different.
You know that.
Also,they might be children, but you did it.
But I'm saying no.
If he dare, he dare from birththat like he did one taking care in the
that the like thethe biological father is not present.
(20:33):
You call
nine times.
Yeah a lot of times they don't call themstep there.
They stay therebecause that's always crazy.
Yeah there's what you do.
Yeah that's different.
But I feel like even even with saylike the woman is marrying you.
Okay, I got to step dad.
I feel like as a step father, regardless,
just your child or not,or even not even being married.
(20:55):
And nothingif you with somebody with kids.
I feel like at the end of the day,you didn't just chose that person.
You chose that person in their childbecause that's what it come with.
So I feel like you should be ableto do for that child as well.
If not, don't people
nobody with kids like thatand a lot of people don't feel obligated.
That's how I should be.
But it's just like,
why would I want to be with somebodywho ain't helping with my child?
(21:15):
You ain't just can't. You know what,I can't wait.
I knowI feel like you should be able to step up.
You don't have to.
But if you don't have,you don't want to go be with somebody
who ain't got nokids or go make your own kid.
But I don't feel like that's right.
Or don't have that at all.
You know that it don't have none at all,baby, I'll tell you.
But kids,
(21:37):
so bad, we might,
we might to wrap this upbefore we get out of here,
we're going to start with the lady first,
and we're going to,you know, go around the couch.
But the last question is,
what is something you think that we can do
or you can do as individual to, like,
do betterwhen it come to like the other side.
(21:58):
What do you mean?
That side mirror me.
For myself personally, I feel like,
take accountability
as a woman, you feel likeyou can take more accountability.
Like I said, I do have manipulative ways.
Like, I think angry today.
Like I'm very self aware.
Like I'm a very selfish person.
(22:20):
I feel like I can get a little fartherif I just be true to myself and just,
I don't know, not be so manipulative.
I can be very, very, very,
booty.
Same question.
You know, for womenwith something that you think you could do
better.
(22:40):
Tina,
it'll probably be time because, man,
you got that 50s.
Well, am
I trying to get to that one?
Is, like, on a different level.
Yeah. It's time,
but if you can do some very.
(23:05):
She probably not.
Garbage is business.
Like and again as against any other stuff.
So. Yeah. Yeah. There you go.
Yeah I got, I gotI guys want me to say this booty.
Well his answersomething to say that you can't be with
(23:27):
no me like I love me and I get money,but you can't be with no homies.
Mind is only own money is.
That's this like, make your moneybut you can't be with somebody.
You're my only own money.
You should always make your moneyregardless of you with somebody or not.
But for me, my only own money.
Baby ain't got no time for you.
I got the perfect niggafor you to talk to about that.
When you come back, we going to.
(23:49):
Hey, it'sgoing to be on the Steal Champion podcast.
Your Saturday special guest.
What is going on is one of the girlsfrom from the Stay-At-Home podcast.
He would love to hear that say,you know, I'm saying
he ain't got notime for nothing but money.
That's it.
That's all you have time lay out with you.
Everyone's well, I'm here, I'm kissed,and then I'm kids.
And then I hear respond that,you know what I'm saying?
(24:11):
But, everybody, you know,shout out to our man, we go style to lady
y'all drops and you knowwe going to get the fuck up out of here.
Follow me on Instagram at allthe Ashanti twice.
And you. That's it.
It's the one and only.And I'm starting a YouTube channel.
Begins it later.
This is we going to see.
We going to see.
We might, we might we go.
It's very interesting I.
(24:35):
Fucking don't like rambling.
Everything. Well except on Snapchat.
Blake James okay.
Yeah. See,
I'm excited to know everything.
Even though I won't be on that fade away.
Man, I appreciate you coming to me.
I appreciate you coming through, man.
(24:56):
I'm all the Ashanti I used to to us,
I bet, man, I'll go find a man for show.
For show, man.
But thank you all for coming throughfor the Big Homie podcast.
Bear. It was a pleasure having you on.
You have your popcorn ready.
You watching is tuning into the raceand have your popcorn ready
for the race board for the game.
I don't knowbig homie Bugatti at these episodes.
(25:21):
You going to see a wholelot more better that like,
What do you want me to say?
Street school. Grammar Street school.
What do you want me to say?
(00:01):
Street school.
Grammar Street school.
(00:39):
My. Yeah, I went up.
Yeah. Hey, listen,
we back real quick with a little plug in.
Let me in.
We want to,
ask about black live.
(01:00):
Yesterday.
But anyway, it just threw me out.
You have, said I was expecting anything.
I just fucking with the I.
Now, I want to talk about kind of.
Billy.
Talk about it with a narcissist
who's a narcissist.
(01:23):
Who's a nice.
This is just because I just switchedcameras humanizes it.
I mean, who we got here,first of all, there.
Who you got here?
Let us start with the lady first, man.
Let's start with the cattle.We get the one.
It only ties.
It's not the ugliest 19 on Instagram.
It to us.
I love that it's, two of them.
(01:44):
I guess we got mad dopelike Rambo did that, though.
The Bible Sabbath book.
Yeah.
Who else we got?
Play the man.
You know, we have spook man, aren't they?
Everybody just comes.
You you just food.
(02:06):
So we talking.
So who's a narcissist, Yeah.
Who's a narcissist? They make that.
I mean, I feel like everybody got alittle bit a little bit of that, you know?
But I was really referring to myself.
So you saying you say you
a motherfucking narcissist so I can be.
I ain't saying I am, I can be, I can be,I will be a manipulator.
(02:28):
You of.
Can you just fuck thatcouple of your inboxes.
They, they call regardless.
They come regardless
like that.
Like I ain't know I say I'mno, I'm not toxic.
I said, I didn't say I am when I say it,I could be one.
Everybody could be one, y'all.
If you only y'all know,then I only know the motherfucking that I.
(02:50):
You see that people?You know what? You know what's crazy?
People. That's nigga's problem.
Y'all know I think accountability.
Y'all be lying.
You could be a nurseand you could be manipulated. You can.
You know,I'm telling of what was going on is crazy.
Whenever that is crazy.That's what I think.
That's a woman sport. No mean. Yeah.
(03:11):
I'm not going to hold you.
I don't know how young niggas whatever.
Like if I was, you might have been like inI got manipulated before by accident.
To get them over this.
And now I get.
Let's talk about that right anyway.
Because. Yeah. Because
I'm like.
But there's also different types.
Yeah. Okay. Your feet, there's booty.
(03:31):
I'm saying
it's different types of manipulationimages, all the types of manipulation.
So when you got manipulated by accident.
By default.
How does that work.
Right. What happened in that scenario.
Basically you came to me as this.
So now you was a great person.
But you know you go to a honeymoon stagewhen you first start forgot
(03:52):
somebody is this.And their forehead isn't it.
And then I know where all of us get ittweaking on you, cursing you out.
And so most of doit was you going out with your TV there?
No, I don't even got no titties.
I ain't got no nobody looking at my tits.
I got so much is maybe not a little baby.
Well, think about it.You don't me? No, man. No clue.
(04:13):
I'm taking serious.
I mean, oh, man.
In Oklahoma, it took in series.
You don't do that.All right, well, let me ask you this.
You think experience has something to dowith the fact that you got a minute?
They don't actually say no.
It's not even. It'snot even the experience.
I'm not going to lie.
Like, you would think you made the mess,but I guess, I mean,
you think you make the best of your lifeand you cycle with all this.
(04:35):
One day is one day. It's like a flip.
It's like, damn it, you know,
you were just cookingbecause I first came round you cooking?
I'm always the chicken. I mean,
but, you know.
Hey, I got a question.
I know that's not I know that'snot my job, but I got a question.
I was asking this. I'mthe only female in Islam.
(04:56):
You know how you ask for versatility.
Amen. Ooh.
I feel like if your motherfucking is going
to make some.
Make the bread of good.
Like there ain't no way in hell you thinkI'm going to be able to say my shit.
And they get you and you, Jesus and these.
(05:16):
And you had to come, come,come with some truth.
Yeah.
The word.
No, no, I didn't say no.
I ain't say not work.
I say how you feel about 5050
g that when I'm talking about God now,you better have a job or something.
You got this?
Regardless if she have a job, like I'm.
No, no, no, you got it, got it.
You got something to the day.
(05:37):
Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. That's it.You get that?
You been working, you say?
Yeah, I was, I'm going to do.
My mother was wrong. What's wrong with me?
Let me say this.
I is what works for you.
That's what I'm.
It was work for you in your relationship,
your man, financial situation,your financial situation.
(05:58):
Y'all got to come together and see, like,okay,
you're making this much,but like, as a man, you making this much.
But you may need a little help on thisor you, you you got you was doing great,
but you a little fucked upor you in between.
What you doing? Whatever.
Yeah, I feel like a woman should step inand be able to help.
I feel like some of us,they don't feel that they need you, bro.
(06:18):
Fuck, yeah.
I'm out, like 5050.
I'm telling 5050.
Like, it really depends on reallywhat works for you.
But my thing is with the 5050 situation,like a lot of times
I'm not going to see a lot of times
because women will be like,you mean pick me that? And not no.
But seriously, it's just
a lot of men is making way more moneythan women like the NBA and women's
(06:40):
NBA to me, making way more money than whatthe women in the women's NBA.
So it's just like itdepends on where everybody pockets is.
Yeah, I feel like, yes,the men should pay these bills and a woman
should take careof the household. Correct.
But if you I can't do that right at thismoment, you should be able to help him.
And if you can't help you, baby,you fucked up too.
(07:00):
You fuckedup. Women will right along with them.
I feel like you should be able to help.
I feel like that's a bad examplebecause if I'm in the NBA,
you in the WNBA,the man in the NBA is making way for 20.
Yeah, she did some money, right. It was.
They got the money
I got there.
(07:20):
Give money. Yeah some of themget some money.
But at the end of the dayyou missing the whole point.
The men are still making way more money.
Tell you how you know how itand who they are,
how you feel about the 5050.
I mean, I kind of agree with itbecause like.
And so girl, if she shows you back,then she's to have you back, you know.
(07:41):
But I don't feel like she alwaysshould be paying the going 5050 now.
She ain't always been going to 5050.
She should be able to step in.
You shouldn't be on no one.
You shouldn't be on a womanthat it's not able to step.
Man, I feel like you shouldn't even
move.
So. Yeah. Move in the house.
There you go. With your namenot being on the lease.
(08:02):
They both on.
I'm going to at least bring it over there.
You mean you gotta be paying them the.
No, I'm still taking careof the household.
I'm still feeding you likeI still gotta fuck you every night.
Like what I'm saying?
Get to the house.
I'm like, you have to please.
You still have to please your man.
At any rate,that is a part of the household.
(08:23):
Because yo, man, they please at home,you go get it somewhere else.
That is a part of the householdthat definitely is a part of our household
that bills they you know youwhat's your name when these are not. Yes.
So then if I see some of the redthat's what I see.
That's what. Did you not hear what I said?
I said you're a woman.
Should be able to step in when needed.
(08:47):
Your woman should be sleeping.
You shouldn't be with nobody who likeif you if you fucked up right now,
you can't pay this.
They need it is.
They need it.
Need what?
Like.
Like my fucking rent, nigga.
That's just.
Damn. That's why you had to pay.
You have to work at it.
I am on my am.
I gotta get the work I whatever the fuck.
(09:09):
Have a go if you ain't got it this time.
Yeah, I got it. Bam, I ain't gotta be.
Damn, you got it.
Bam bam bam.
Give that back. No, you have to go.
You ain't gotta pay fucking back.
But, like, I mean, it is.
Make it look so I can.
It's because I'll be 5050.
Could be like I take it or they choose.
You got the other thing.
(09:29):
Shit. I'll pay the phone bill.
Look good.
Fuck is that?
What is that? What is that okay?
Your phone?
Yeah. The groceries.
Like a woman. Time in time.
Because you know what is.
Yeah, yeah.
The groceries
I don't I was,I was being so I was trying to be smart
with the phone bill,but no, you got a woman.
(09:50):
If the man paying all these bills, baby,
with some groceries in the houseevery time I come home so tired.
Got a question for, like, five topicsI can move in on the me
I was so tired.
The three that societyand like the fact that like
the value of a dollar has changedsince in the culture we was raised on,
(10:11):
because it was a point in timewhere a man typically could work a job
and make enough moneyto pay for an entire household.
We don't necessarily live in a societyanymore, you know what I'm saying?
Honestly, we don't at all.
And sometimes, sometimes,but sometimes in certain situations,
a man might be able to work two, maybethree jobs and be able to to do that.
(10:32):
You know what I'm saying?
So withingiven like the way society of society
has changed economically,do you like factor that in.
Yeah. That's what I'm.
Yeah that's that's what I was getting it.
That was my whole point with thelike okay.
Well my man paying all the billsbut you know like you said
like everything's changed now.
Like if you need me to step in to pay thisand that, that's fine.
(10:55):
But I don't feel like a womanshould have to go 5050 every single time.
So to Rambo,
when she say,
stepping down the noise,you know, here you go.
If you step in, it's like like so longas you say,
hey, it should be like you motherfuckerto be, yeah.
Hey, baby.
(11:15):
People like, I ain't going to 5050 at all.
Yeah,and never have you don't never with life.
Like in reality, people,I'm not never going for it in reality.
In today's life,
he can get whatever he don't.
He could be fucked up the dayand or can't go to work or can't do this.
Can't do that because he in abecause he does in a hospital
or some damn you ain't go helpyou ain't go pay this low bill.
(11:39):
But she should not have to do thatevery single time.
That's all I'm saying.
I feel like with myselfI applied it to myself.
I feel like if you fucked up like you,you broke in. You got no money.
I don't feel likeyou should be in a relationship.
Because when I was fucked upand I have my car and shit like that,
I didn't really try to takenobody's series,
because I don't feel likeyou should be able to have to, like,
take,take care of me or had to come pick me up
(11:59):
every single timebecause I don't have a car right now.
I need to go get my shit together,and then we just.
We'll work something out.
That's probably more of a female things,because I don't really care about it.
Yeah, that'swhy I say niggas don't care about it.
But as a female, you should care about it.
You should want more for yourself.
Like I males don't care about that.
But as a female you should want to see itcome big.
Yeah, yeah,that's something that you own the right.
(12:21):
That's. You don't need it. No
I ain't it.
When I was with themI ain't have no car in the past.
Never do, ain't never have no problem.
Come and pick me up and do thisand do that for me.
But I'm saying as a female,that's what I'm saying.
It's not the main point of youas a female point of view.
How you looking at yourself?
You should want more for yourself.
You should want to be able to do moreor have more.
(12:41):
Let me, let me transition a bit.
I'm going to start with you, smoothie.
With, how do you think
or do you think marriagein the black community
affects
our community moving forward?
Yeah.
(13:02):
I don't even think people careabout marginalized.
No, no,but that's that's not the question.
The question is, do you think,
you know or how do you
think, really, marriageaffects our community moving forward?
Do you think it affects our communitymoving forward?
I don't know, really.
I really don't, because you got towhat it would take you to get married.
(13:24):
That's a lot of people saythey ain't never getting married.
I mean, okay, so you got a junior.
Yeah.
You think is important.
To like.
Your personal community
to me about marriage.
I know that's a tough question,because marriage is crazy.
(13:48):
You know, since he already here now.
So marriage is going to bethe next person.
Well,
yeah.
Well,I would have been offended with you. Me?
And you had to put it like that.That isn't the heart.
That was not me and my baby mama.We real cool.
You know, together.
She got her own man. Like we go for him.
(14:09):
Very well. So
for me, I'm talking about.
Oh, her.
I don't know what it is you.
Okay, okay.
Well,
Miss lady,
do you think marriage is importantfor our community?
At one point in time in my lifewhen I was younger, I still am young.
(14:29):
When I was younger, like,I never get married. 30
that.
See how this happens?
Just play as this player.
But I at one point in time in my life,I was like,
I never getmarried, I'll never want to get married.
But like, it is like right nowit's toxic in be real, real toxic.
But I do feel like at one pointin my life, I do want it some day.
(14:51):
I do want to get married, have to picketwhite fence and all of that.
I still do believe in it, regardlessof how you try to put it,
is no perfectmarriage is ups and downs, isn't it?
But you know, even a key step,not only you, you ain't doing that though.
When I say ups and downs,
like could be sometimes financial stuffor my person depressed, isn't it?
But single step out on me. No,I ain't going for that.
(15:12):
But I definitely do believe in marriage.
Big bow.
Amen.
I don't know if they should go
and change the but I mean change the worldand and what I mean set up for
like if that's what you want to doand do what I believe.
I mean, you're the you love the marriage.
I mean, because I asked all you guys nowand this is
going to be a general question, theI think it's important for our community
(15:35):
to see like that kind of unity. Yes.
It's too many broken households.
She that and niggasguys stop killing each other personally.
But that too is, is that niggas ain'tliving long enough to see no fucking man.
So you need a 15I would you sweet trip them.
No. Why?
In taking them out of schoolwhy yes I would a switch.
(15:56):
Yeah okay. So we stay like why is
what is the other thingto do for your household to change that.
Yeah. That's.
No, that's my nigga woman.
That is the woman.
And no, that person. Amazing.
Regardless of how you try to put it.
Like it's about you on the side,the marriage would actually help
the community.
I mean,even if it ain't marriage up to like you.
(16:18):
Also, do you have two pairs? Oh, God.
The the the difference is a big thing.
Like I said it
like we're going to how you try to put itlike people need a mom and they for
they like, they both like regardlesshow you try to put it like, oh I'm good.
Yes, I'm good at it.
And they,
you don't knowwhat could have been different
living in the housewith your mom and your dad
(16:38):
or without them separatedlike you got to do this.
You got to do that.
I got to figure out and do this,or you got to meet a new person.
Is my step dad my step mom like thatdo affect people in long run.
Like you don't think you doright in the deer with some people do.
I feel like that is a big thing.
Like if I was to get marriedor I was to ever have kids,
I would want it to bein a two parent household.
But I don't feel like people should stayin a toxic two parent household.
(17:01):
Like if y'all really talks and is showinglike your kids to see this in it,
I feel like that'swhen you should separate.
You got to go.
Well, what about if both of your parents,like, would see it's
the it's okay is going to be raisedlike they say you got good parents.
They just firecrackers.
There's some firecrackers.
(17:22):
Okay. Let's go to heaven. My God.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Let's just because the dead in the housecould be good.
It just depends on what's so.
Because the single mom,she can't really teach me how to be.
Exactly.
That's what's importantfor two parent households.
But at the same time, a lot of me
being come from a single mom.
(17:43):
Okay.
But I still be a little messed up too.
So let me throw a wrench in there.
Let me ask you guys this.
What about situations
like somebody mentioned earlier,like great co-parenting situations.
Do you think that is just as effective?
Yeah, because a lot of the better babymamas, better baby daddies.
(18:04):
But you know what took you to seethe daddy because of personal reasons?
It's it's crazy.
Yeah. Seven square.
I don't like those type of females.
Ladies, if you're a baby mamaand you don't let old chow go see today
because he got another girlfriend,little girl go to therapy.
And I ain't got no kids, but is good.
Okay, maybe go to therapy.
(18:26):
Tomatoes, you know, stuffgoing to be pieces, but that's better.
That's messing with your tail.
I think that. Okay, so
let me let me ask you guys this.
What about
step parents.
And and and I'm
(18:46):
I'm going to be specificwith the question.
Does it make sense.
Not even adorable to be doing
she I wouldyou know I got a couple bam on the kid.
But, I do what I'm supposed to do.
The issue, it would get.
(19:06):
But she said I said, I will.
I, I it out of the game,but I'm always doing what I do for my.
So like, you know, I make no sense there.
But there's, you know,we landed statically
technically God would forgive us.
He would saying,you ain't got to see cuz I got, you know,
boy, that's what I feel like I need to do.
(19:29):
It is I'm like, man,or this is a negative.
Don't come see his kid is like,
yeah, I said, they're going to meansomething to the kid.
But like I agree with Marky isI ain't looking at it.
No new boyfriend.
Like no step dad.
Couldn't agree to disagree. Not no.
Do it. You like?
I feel like you need to call himby his name.
Yeah. Don't call.
(19:50):
If I, don't call thosefolks, they're calling that nickname.
Yeah. Wasn't meant hang. Go, man.
Come on, man, you okay?
Okay, listen,I ain't going to give them nobody else.
Nobody can.
And y'all, for your damn friendsin your life, you need cards.
Okay. Bye. See now.
Okay, but see that get crazy though, too,because
(20:11):
you got some situationswhere a person might be in Ikea.
Life literally from from birth.
That mean the daddy went there.
You can call it in. That's different.
You know that.
Also,they might be children, but you did it.
But I'm saying no.
If he dare, he dare from birththat like he did one taking care in the
that the like thethe biological father is not present.
(20:33):
You call
nine times.
Yeah a lot of times they don't call themstep there.
They stay therebecause that's always crazy.
Yeah there's what you do.
Yeah that's different.
But I feel like even even with saylike the woman is marrying you.
Okay, I got to step dad.
I feel like as a step father, regardless,
just your child or not,or even not even being married.
(20:55):
And nothingif you with somebody with kids.
I feel like at the end of the day,you didn't just chose that person.
You chose that person in their childbecause that's what it come with.
So I feel like you should be ableto do for that child as well.
If not, don't people
nobody with kids like thatand a lot of people don't feel obligated.
That's how I should be.
But it's just like,
why would I want to be with somebodywho ain't helping with my child?
(21:15):
You ain't just can't. You know what,I can't wait.
I knowI feel like you should be able to step up.
You don't have to.
But if you don't have,you don't want to go be with somebody
who ain't got nokids or go make your own kid.
But I don't feel like that's right.
Or don't have that at all.
You know that it don't have none at all,baby, I'll tell you.
But kids,
(21:37):
so bad, we might,
we might to wrap this upbefore we get out of here,
we're going to start with the lady first,
and we're going to,you know, go around the couch.
But the last question is,
what is something you think that we can do
or you can do as individual to, like,
do betterwhen it come to like the other side.
(21:58):
What do you mean?
That side mirror me.
For myself personally, I feel like,
take accountability
as a woman, you feel likeyou can take more accountability.
Like I said, I do have manipulative ways.
Like, I think angry today.
Like I'm very self aware.
Like I'm a very selfish person.
(22:20):
I feel like I can get a little fartherif I just be true to myself and just,
I don't know, not be so manipulative.
I can be very, very, very,
booty.
Same question.
You know, for womenwith something that you think you could do
better.
(22:40):
Tina,
it'll probably be time because, man,
you got that 50s.
Well, am
I trying to get to that one?
Is, like, on a different level.
Yeah. It's time,
but if you can do some very.
(23:05):
She probably not.
Garbage is business.
Like and again as against any other stuff.
So. Yeah. Yeah. There you go.
Yeah I got, I gotI guys want me to say this booty.
Well his answersomething to say that you can't be with
(23:27):
no me like I love me and I get money,but you can't be with no homies.
Mind is only own money is.
That's this like, make your moneybut you can't be with somebody.
You're my only own money.
You should always make your moneyregardless of you with somebody or not.
But for me, my only own money.
Baby ain't got no time for you.
I got the perfect niggafor you to talk to about that.
When you come back, we going to.
(23:49):
Hey, it'sgoing to be on the Steal Champion podcast.
Your Saturday special guest.
What is going on is one of the girlsfrom from the Stay-At-Home podcast.
He would love to hear that say,you know, I'm saying
he ain't got notime for nothing but money.
That's it.
That's all you have time lay out with you.
Everyone's well, I'm here, I'm kissed,and then I'm kids.
And then I hear respond that,you know what I'm saying?
(24:11):
But, everybody, you know,shout out to our man, we go style to lady
y'all drops and you knowwe going to get the fuck up out of here.
Follow me on Instagram at allthe Ashanti twice.
And you. That's it.
It's the one and only.And I'm starting a YouTube channel.
Begins it later.
This is we going to see.
We going to see.
We might, we might we go.
It's very interesting I.
(24:35):
Fucking don't like rambling.
Everything. Well except on Snapchat.
Blake James okay.
Yeah. See,
I'm excited to know everything.
Even though I won't be on that fade away.
Man, I appreciate you coming to me.
I appreciate you coming through, man.
(24:56):
I'm all the Ashanti I used to to us,
I bet, man, I'll go find a man for show.
For show, man.
But thank you all for coming throughfor the Big Homie podcast.
Bear. It was a pleasure having you on.
You have your popcorn ready.
You watching is tuning into the raceand have your popcorn ready
for the race board for the game.
I don't knowbig homie Bugatti at these episodes.
(25:21):
You going to see a wholelot more better that like,
What do you want me to say?
Street school. Grammar Street school.
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