How To Move On from Self-Pity

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It's been a tough week. I know I can share these things with you but coming back up to the surface for air was hard. BUT, I found a poem that perfectly captures the journey of aging – learning to shed what's no longer relevant while moving forward without forgetting our past.

As I get closer to my 7th decade, I've been reflecting on how important it is to focus on the future rather than dwelling on what's been lost. To that end, I'm turning a page in this podcast about getting older.

You've heard my stories, now I want to hear yours.

Please write to me at [e-mail] to share your story. You've heard mine for 40 episodes, now I want to hear yours - your challenges, your wisdom, your experiences. This is your opportunity to tell your story and perhaps leave a legacy.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Bill Monty's Guide for Gettin' Older.
The mirror speaks in softenedtones, a stranger's eyes, yet
still my own.
The skin remembers sunlit days,but time has etched a winding

(00:22):
maze.
The sneakers of my restlessyouth are tucked beside
forgotten truths, the wilddreams, the midnight calls, the
friends who danced throughgolden falls.
I do not mourn what slips away.
The tide was never meant tostay.

(00:44):
Instead, I walk a gentler shorewith quieter steps, but I'm
seen more New.
Laughter finds me in the light,a deeper joy, a calmer flight.
The spark that once burned,fast and free, now glows with

(01:06):
thoughtful constancy.
I trade the race for steadypace, the needing less, a giving
grace.
New values rise like a morningsun, a heart that's learned, a
soul that has won.

(01:26):
So let the past drift with thesea.
It built the bones that carryme.
And though the years may paintme old, they make the newer
stories bold.
You see, the beauty is notholding tight, but learning how

(01:51):
to love the night, to welcomedawn with wiser eyes and greet
the world with no disguise.
I choose to greet the worldwith no disguise.
I choose to greet the worldwith no disguise.
Welcome, my friends, to BillMonty's Guide for Getting Older.

(02:14):
I am your host, bill Monty.
I found that poem and it spoketo me, and it verbalized for me
some of the things that gothrough my head how, as we age,
it is so important to learn howto shed the parts of our life

(02:37):
that are no longer relevant, Notto forget them, though, to
place them in a special place inyour heart, in your memories,
and then to move forward,because, as you try to move

(02:57):
forward, but you're holding onto a past that halts your
journey, and there's still somuch more to learn.
No matter your age, this summerI will turn well, I'll be in my
late 60s, which is astoundingto me, and the last few days,

(03:21):
I'm going to tell you a truth,my friends I've been feeling
sorry for myself that I nolonger can run like I once did,
or even move like I once did.
That words come slower.
All those times that I wasyounger, I wish I had paid more

(03:43):
attention to the moments, to thepeople, to the emotions, to the
feelings.
It was all going so fast and Ithought it would last forever,
and I suppose for everyone.
There is a time in your lifewhen you realize it isn't going

(04:04):
to.
My melancholy mood has passed,no-transcript.
It's not that the past is gone,it's that the future is ahead
of me, and that's what I chooseto concentrate on now To
continue to find ways to moveforward to wherever my next

(04:29):
journey is, and I think thatjourney, for this particular
podcast and endeavor, will lookdifferent in the near future.
So here's what I'm thinking andhere, my friends, is where I
need your help.
If you've been with me since Istarted this back when I was

(04:50):
railing against Social Securityby the way, my next episode I
will again be railing againstSocial Security, so stick around
for that one.
The stuff I find out about itjust really annoys me.
But if you've been around sincethe beginning, or if you're
someone who's just jumped on thelast few episodes, if you're
someone who just hops on whenthe subject of the title seems

(05:15):
to interest you, that's great,thank you.
Thank you.
You've been there, you've beensupporting me.
I know not every single episodeis for everybody.
I do not have the hubris thatallows me to believe that every
single thing I say is golden.
I'm glad that any of you havebeen kind enough to listen and

(05:38):
for those of you that havewritten to me and expressed how
much you've enjoyed the shows orexpressed a kinship for what
I'm saying.
That's wonderful.
I really, if I haven'tmentioned it lately, thank you.
Thank you so much.
I'm going to ask something ofyou now.
I'm going to ask you to becomea part of the show.
For 40 episodes now two seasonsI have been telling the story

(06:04):
of Bill Monty and the journey oflife and how I see it and how
it has laid out for me.
In certain ways, my hope hasalways been that you connect
with some of that, if not all ofit, but I think now it's time
to hear your stories.
I think now it's time for youto talk about what life has been

(06:29):
teaching you.
So I put this out to you, myfriends, and I'm going to start
by saying this the email is BillMonty.
That's M-O-N-T-Y.
Bill Monty 04 at gmailcom.
I'm going to start puttingtogether some things that will
make it easier to do this, but Iwant to start right here.

(06:50):
If you hear this and you'reinterested in learning more,
please write to me.
What I'd like to do is starttalking with you.
I want to hear what you have tosay.
What was your life like?
What are the things that youhave learned along the way.
What are the challenges thatyou had?

(07:12):
How did you overcome them?
Are you still overcoming them?
And it doesn't have to bepersonal to the point of where
you reveal some secret that willhurt someone else in your
family.
I don't want that at all.
I want your story, I want yourfeelings.
Feel free to change the name,even your name, if you want to.
It doesn't matter to me.
The story is what's important.

(07:34):
I want to talk to you and Iwant to have you talk to me, and
if other people come in andlisten, that's great.
But this is a conversationbetween you and me, just like
it's always been.
It's always been you and me,and you've made me feel so

(07:54):
grateful by listening, and nowI'd like to hear what you have
to say.
So, my friends, please write tome at BillMonte04 at gmailcom.
If the poem that I read speaksto you as it did to me.
I'd like to hear how you'readapting to shedding the skin of

(08:19):
the person you were and howyou're learning to walk in the
skin of the person you were, andhow you're learning to walk in
the skin of the person you arethat you will be in the near
future.
I want to know what are yourloves and what are your fears.
I want to know what was themost important thing that
happened to you in your life andwhat, perhaps, was the most
disappointing.
I want to know even what yourfavorite meal is, what's your

(08:43):
favorite food, what's yourfavorite movie and why.
There's so much to say, and I'mhoping that the next chapter of
this podcast, bill Monty'sGuide for Getting Older will be
where we can have a conversation.

(09:07):
It's not going to be long andyou don't need to do much to be
able to do this.
It's really easy.
You contact me, I'll set up aZoom meeting, I'll send you the
link and we'll just chat.
We'll have a conversation andwe'll just chat.
We'll have a conversation, andwhen I say Zoom, it's still
going to be an audio podcast.

(09:28):
I can take the audio out of aZoom virtual meeting and turn it
into an audio podcast, so yourface won't be revealed.
You don't have to worry aboutthat.
I hope you'll join me.
I think it's exciting.
I can't wait.
I can't wait for you to do this.
I can't wait for you to tellyour story.

(09:52):
You know, going back severalepisodes, we talked about legacy
and immortality.
This is your opportunity to beimmortal.
This is your opportunity totell your story.
What are the chances thatyou're ever going to write a
book to be able to tell it?

(10:13):
I hope you join me on thisjourney.
I'm so excited thinking aboutit, journey, I'm so excited
thinking about it.
Billmonte04 at gmailcom.
And please remember, as always,to hit that follow or subscribe

(10:35):
button as you listen to thisepisode, to hit like and to
comment.
But if you don't do any of thatat all, that's okay.
If all you do is write to me atBillMonte04 at gmailcom and say
hi, bill, my name is Tom andI'd like to talk to you.

(10:55):
I'm a little nervous, though,because I've never done anything
like this before.
That's okay, tom, I'll set itup so we can have a chat before.
It's not like we're going tojust do this and you'll just
start talking and I'm recordingand who knows what will happen?
We'll chat before.
If you're not comfortable withit, then we won't do it.
It's as simple as that.

(11:16):
We'll just have a conversation.
You've heard my story.
Now let's hear yours.
On Bill Monty's Guide forGetting Older.
Please write to me atBillMonty04 at gmailcom.
And until the next time we talkand next time we talk we'll be

(11:39):
about Social Security, and thenepisode after that, I hope we'll
be about social security, andthen episode after that, I hope
we'll be talking about you, myfriend.
I'm so looking forward to it.
As always, I ask you to pleasebe safe and be kind and stick

(12:00):
around to listen to my themesong, because I really like my
theme song.
Until the next time, my friends, if it's warm outside but
you're feeling cold, you're notsure what to do.
Without a friendly shoulder,you're not alone, so start
feeling bolder.

(12:21):
Welcome to Bill Monty's Guidefor Getting Older.