Is Self-Care Selfish? Life Lesson Part 4

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Self-care isn't selfish, but a crucial step in maintaining mental and emotional health—much like securing your own oxygen mask first on a plane. Join me, Bill Monty, as we explore this vital topic in the continuation of our Life Lessons series. I share personal insights and the wisdom gained from years of navigating life's ups and downs. Together, we'll explore the importance of setting healthier boundaries and habits as we age, ensuring that we can better care for ourselves and, in turn, for those around us. We'll also touch on the emotional aftermath of recent political events, emphasizing the need to process feelings of anger, sadness, or fear without letting them overwhelm us.

Rather than letting negative emotions consume us, let's channel them into positive actions. We discuss the inevitability of change and the importance of moving forward despite setbacks. Our heartfelt conversation will guide you in embracing self-care as a path to greater kindness and wisdom. Whether you're feeling disheartened by recent events or simply seeking to better understand the role self-care plays in our lives, this episode offers insight and encouragement. Tune in to discover how prioritizing your well-being can lead to a more fulfilling and compassionate life.

Please, please, please, if you, or someone that you know needs help, get them professional medical aid. Do not be embarrassed or afraid to ask for help. 
National Suicide Hotline: Dial 988
You are important. You are loved. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thank you for joining me for this episode of Bill
Monty's Guide for Getting Older.
This week we continue the LifeLessons series.
Life lessons are those thingsthat life teaches us as we age
to make us wiser, hopefullykinder, and to make life more
enjoyable.
This week, we're talking aboutself-care.

(00:21):
So let's cue the music aboutself-care.
So let's cue the music.
I'd like to start this episodeoff by asking sincerely how are
you doing today?
No, really, how are you doing?

(00:43):
I'm recording this on Monday,november the 11th.
For those of us here in America,we had a pretty big election
last week and there are a lot ofstrong feelings about the
winners and the losers and aboutwhat that means for the future
of this country.
Now, long-time listeners hereknow I don't get into politics

(01:03):
on this show and I'm not goingto start today.
I want to go beyond thepolitics of what occurred and
talk about how we can begin thehealing process.
I want to use this episode andthis time to talk about
self-care, and there are a lotof people that think self-care
is not important, and I want totell you that self-care is not

(01:24):
important, and I want to tellyou that self-care is not
selfish Taking time forourselves well.
Admittedly, that can feelindulgent at first, but we learn
that self-care is essential forour well-being.
As we get older, we discoverthat we can't pour from an empty
cup and that taking care ofourselves allows us to better

(01:48):
care for others.
When you finally come to thisrealization and you can put it
into practice, it often leads tohealthier boundaries and habits
.
It reminds me of when you're ona plane trip and before you
take off, they do the emergencytalk with you, and one of the

(02:09):
things that they reallyemphasize is that if you're
traveling with a child orsomeone who might need aid and
those masks drop from theceiling because of an emergency,
be sure to secure your maskfirst before trying to secure it
on your child or the personthat you're with, because you

(02:30):
must be getting that flow ofoxygen.
You must be taking care ofyourself before you can help
someone else, and that's so truewith everything else.
Right now we live in harsh times, but maybe they're not as harsh
as we think they are.
I'm old enough to know that thebad times have come before and

(02:52):
they have gone If you are of acertain age, and you don't even
have to be of that age fortragedy to have struck, or
sadness or things that make youfeel disappointed with the world
or life.
But one of the most importantthings that we learn as we age
is that, no matter what happensthe next day, the world still

(03:15):
turns.
Everything still moves forward.
It still goes on.
So to my friends in America whoare feeling great anger or great
sadness or great fear over theelection results for the
president from last week, I askyou to be kind to yourself, to

(03:39):
forgive yourself for feelingthat way.
It's perfectly alright for youto have these feelings.
There's nothing wrong with that.
If you let it consume you, ifyou let it alter the way that
you treat yourself and otherpeople, if it makes you think
things are so bleak that theycan never get better, that's a

(04:01):
time to be worried.
No matter how dark things seemright now, it's probably not as
dark as you believe it is Now.
Listen, I'm one of the peoplewho wishes that some of the
elections in some of the stateshad gone different ways.
I live in Florida.
I wasn't happy with the waythings many things that were

(04:24):
voted on went.
So what are my options?
I could be angry.
Be angry at everybody, nomatter what anyone says to me, I
just snap at them, because ifI'm angry, someone has to pay
for it, and it is not possiblefor me to be angry personally
with the people and the thingsand the events that are making

(04:47):
me feel this way.
So I'm going to take it out onother people.
Is that fair, is that right?
And, at the end of the day,does it make you feel better?
If we're being honest, no, itdoesn't.
So what else can you do?
Ignore your feelings, justpretend everything is all right,
nothing's wrong?

(05:07):
Of course not.
You can't ignore the way youfeel.
It's real.
But you have to take thesefeelings and turn them into
something positive.
Or again they will consume you.
They will make it to wherethere's no joy in life, and
there shouldn't be one eventthat does that.

(05:27):
There are so many things inlife, unfortunately, where those
things can happen.
We feel like it's just one hitafter the other, sometimes Like
you can't get a breather, makesyou wonder why the world and the
universe and, if you are abeliever in God, why God is mad
at you at that moment.
But sometimes that's just theway it all falls.

(05:49):
The sun will still come uptomorrow, don't worry, and
things will be good.
So here are my suggestions Takea breath, remember you're a
good person, especially ifyou're feeling this way right
now.
Don't let the negative feelingstake over.
Reach out, do kind things.
Other people are in pain.

(06:11):
If they are, talk to them, buttry not to dwell on the negative
too long, and I know this isn'tsomething that you can just
turn on and turn off like alight switch If you're really
angry or really concerned.
It's going to take time, sostart working on it now.

(06:33):
I've mentioned so many times inthis program before that
mindfulness meditation hashelped me through so many things
.
There are a lot of apps and alot of information online about
that.
So if it's something you wantto look into, look into it.
See what you can do to takethat negative energy and turn it
into something positive.
If it's something politicalthat happens that's making you
feel this way, can you join anaction committee?

(06:56):
Can you volunteer for acandidate or a cause that you
think is important?
Can you stand up and do whatyou need to do to help the world
.
If you feel the world's going inthe wrong direction, maybe
you're the person that can steerit back on course.

(07:16):
I think you are.
I think you can and I believewe could do anything that we set
our mind to.
But you can't curl up in a ball, not forever.
But if right now, that's whatyou need to do for a little
while, then do it.
Need time for yourself?
Do it.
Do something that you like todo.

(07:38):
You like to read a book alone,with maybe a candle burning and
some hot cocoa or a glass ofwine?
Do it.
You like going to the beach ormaybe spending a little bit more
money than you should on a nicerestaurant?
Do it.
Help yourself, be kind.
Remember self-care isn'tselfish.

(08:02):
I hope you'll join me for thenext episode of Bill Monty's
Guide for Getting Older andwe'll look at another of life's
lessons together.
If you would like to leave acomment on this episode or reach
out to me with just yourthoughts, I hope you'll write to
me at billmonti04 at gmailcom.
Billmonti04 at gmailcom.

(08:25):
And please remember, if you can, to hit that like button, make
a comment, share with yourfriends and family and please be
sure to subscribe.
It does help the podcast and itis very much appreciated.
Until next time, my friends, Iimplore you be safe and be kind,

(08:47):
especially to yourself.
You know, my friends, thank youso much for staying to the end.
It means a lot to me.
I hope that right now, you'reable to do the things that you
need to do to make yourself feelbetter.
I hope you'll keep listeningfor these little life changes

(09:07):
and these little life lessons.
These are things that actuallyyou do learn as you get older.
How you apply them well, that'sup to you.
We're all different, we're allindividual.
We won't do them the same, butI think, if you take note of
them now, that when they becomemore important to you later in
life, if you're younger rightnow, then hopefully when you see
it, you go oh yeah, that guy,bill Monty.

(09:29):
He told me about that.
And thanks again for listeningto the end.
You know, with podcasts, the waythat it works is if you stay
with it till the end.
The companies like Spotify andApple.
They reward the podcaster, notfinancially.
Believe me, there's no money inpodcasting.
What they do is they will thensay, okay, well, let's go ahead

(09:52):
and share this to more people,let's use that algorithm to put
it out there, because people arestaying on our app.
They're staying on our platformwith this podcast.
That helps us, so we're goingto help them.
So thanks for staying to theend.
It does mean a lot.
Again, if get the opportunity,billmonte04 at gmailcom.
I'd like to hear from you.

(10:13):
I hope you like hearing from meon each episode of Bill Monte's
Guide for Getting Older.
Until next time, my friends.
But you're feeling cold.
You're not sure what to dowithout a friendly shoulder.
You're not alone, so startfeeling bolder.

(10:37):
Welcome to Bill Monty's guidefor getting older.