March 29, 2022 • 41 mins
The dynamic Stephanie Burger chats about the many hats she wears and her path to living a purpose filled life.
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Episode Transcript
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Intro Voice (00:05):
Welcome to a place where we're thinking together
and thinking deeper about who weare. In this world, welcome to
the Billosophy podcast.
Stephanie Burger (00:18):
I am the dance break diva.
William Forchion (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to Billosophy 101. I'm
William Forchion. And today myguest is
Stephanie Burger (00:28):
I am Stephanie Burger. I wear many hats. The
company, I work for, a lot ofwork behind the scenes that
people don't see and some workin front of the scenes. And I
also another side of me that alot of people don't know is my
sobriety from alcoholism. I justcelebrated last month, five
(00:50):
years of sobriety,
William Forchi (00:51):
congratulations.
Stephanie Burger (00:53):
So that plays a big role in how I show up in
life, how I show up in work andhow I, I Can, I can be me and be
the magic behind the scene sthat I need to be. So
William Forchion (01:08):
you you just gave me so many roads to travel
down on this conversation. Andthat's exciting. Wow. Okay. Wow.
First of all, you've talkedabout the many hats that you
wear. And I, but, I want to goto that, that little nugget you
tagged on at the end? And thatis your sobriety. Yeah. And
(01:30):
without, without going intotrauma porn. What took you to
the point at which you decided,You know what, I don't need this
anymore.
Stephanie Burger (01:41):
Honestly, I tried to get I tried to get
sober a couple times. And thelast time I literally drag
myself into the hospital andlaying into the hospital bed. I
was like, Nope, I can't do this.
And I have two options. I canlive or I could not live. And I
chose to live. So I took everystep that I needed to take, I
(02:02):
became, I basically became asponge and was like, I don't
know how to do this, I have tofind people that do know how to
do this, and listen and learn.
And literally like, Please takeme by the hand, show me the
path, what do I need to do? Andthat became I became a sponge
(02:22):
and just started soaking up?
What do I need to do? What'snext? What's next? What's next?
William Forchion (02:27):
Right? There's something you just mentioned
about the humility of being thesponge. And in the other party
when you're on the other side ofthat journey. And you believe
that you're in charge, I'm justhave another one or I'm gonna
have another drink. And it'syour it's all your choices,
right? Your decision right inthat making. And yet, your
humility allowed you to makesome healthier choices.
Stephanie Burger (02:51):
Yeah, and you know, one of the things I
learned is, with any addiction,alcohol, for me, it's my choice
up to a point. And then it nolonger became my choice. It was
a in my head was I don't want todo this anymore. And the result
was, at first. It's kind of likethe universe laughing. You know,
(03:15):
like, when you're like, I haveplans, the universe kind of
giggles that you like, that'scute that you think that's
what's gonna happen? And they'relike, No, we're going this way.
So like with an addiction, it'slike, I'm done, I'm gonna quit.
And a lot of times, youraddiction is in control. And
you're like, No, it's like, no,you know, you think you're going
(03:37):
to but you're not. So it's, it'sa conscious decision. And it's a
it's not easy. It is a harddecision that for a long time
you have to make every singlemorning sometimes every hour,
sometimes every minute thatyou're like, No, I know not. Not
right now.
William Forchion (03:55):
No, I have a question to ask. And this comes
from my experience. Did youtransfer your addiction?
Stephanie Burger (04:05):
I it's very easy to do. And in a way I did.
And it's it's a lot of work tonot. Because a lot of people are
like, Oh, great, I quitdrinking. Awesome. I'm sober.
And they're like, I work out24/7 I go to the gym five times
a day, or now I'm eating everyeight hours or, for me, I did a
(04:28):
lot of online shopping. And youknow, after a couple months, I
was like, oh my god, I just havea new one. So I made a decision
to change that. I was like ifI'm gonna have a new addiction,
what can that be that is notharmful to me. And I read it. I
(04:51):
started reading like, everythingI could get my hands on all
genres. And I was like if I'mgoing to have an addiction I
think reading is going to be mything. So it's
William Forchion (05:04):
brilliant is because there's a lot of folks
will Oh, this is good, that'sbad. And it's theirs. It's
fraught, because you may havestepped into sobriety from
alcohol. And yet, they're like,for me, I haven't touched a
drink in almost 15 years now.
Yeah. And which was the silliestreason to start not drinking
(05:28):
was, I was working on a movie,and it was on location. And I
was like, I am not going to bethe guy who's only fun at the
bar, ever. After we wrap, youknow, we cut for the day. And I
was like, so I want I want ifI'm gonna be fun at the bar,
it's not because I'm drinkingtoo much, or I'm having a good
time. And so that shoot lastedsix weeks. And so I knew, then I
(05:50):
was like six weeks sober. Yeah.
And I was and then we had abreak, and there was a little
bit more. And so we did anothertwo weeks on, and I was like,
I'm now two months sober. Yeah.
Okay, can I get six months? Andthen that six months went for a
year, and then a year was liketwo years. And then and now I'm
at almost 15.
Stephanie Burger (06:14):
Yeah.
William Forchion (06:14):
And
Stephanie Burg (06:14):
Congratulations.
William Forchion (06:15):
Thank you. And I love it. Recognizing that I
had another addiction as well,as I worked out like a madman, I
trained all the time. Some ofthat came from what it took to
become the Acrobat that I was,right. Others, but others was
like, Oh, I don't I'm not doingthis now. So I can do this.
(06:37):
Yeah. And, but what I was sayingabout good or bad, right or
wrong, is I had to learn to getrid of that as well. And go to
is it healthy? Or is itunhealthy?
Stephanie Burger (06:49):
As you know, there's the whole this is wrong.
This is right, this is what youshould do. Like, I get to decide
what's wrong and right for me.
Like, nobody else gets to decidethat you may not agree with my
choices, but I get to decide,you know, what's wrong or right
for me, and the shoulds? Youknow, there's that whole saying,
(07:09):
Don't shut all over your shirton yourself. Right? And so,
getting the shoulds out of myvocabulary and mentality and
thinking is like that to work tobut getting rid of those is
huge. And, you know, noconversations.
William Forchion (07:29):
I'm gonna go for a little levity here. I'm
just gonna, if you're listeningto this on the podcast, this
won't make any sense. But itwould seem that you also have a
candle addiction. Just behindStephanie is a shelf with I'm
seeing three, there's about 15Jean candles shelf. And I love
(07:55):
candles. So that's what caughtmy eye that right off the
shoulder was a bunch of candles.
I was like,
Stephanie Burger (08:01):
Yeah. And, you know, I like I purchase I'll
purchase a lot at one time, likeall the different smells, and
then I won't purchase anythingfor a couple years. So I get my
little fix in there. And I'mlike, Alright, I'm good. You
know? So yeah, I do it is it's athing with candles.
William Forchion (08:18):
We're gonna use that candle we're in. Now
we're gonna let that candlesmolder for a little bit. And
we're gonna jump over to yourhat wearing wear lots and lots
of hats.
Stephanie Burger (08:28):
The hats I wear with coaches console, I do
sales. So coaches console is aonline software platform for
coaches and service basedentrepreneurs. It's the back end
of the business. It's where youcan set up and run the backend
of your business so that you canautomate a lot of things and
(08:51):
spend more time doing what youwant to do, and less time on the
backend of your business. Sothat's, that's the short version
of what coaches console is.
William Forchion (08:59):
Okay. So, you know, I'm just gonna say that
the owners and folks of coachescounsel are gonna be very happy
with you for not just say wewere great, right? And also, I
will also add that I am oncoach's console now. That's how
I was introduced to Stephanie.
So just to be as open aspossible, and yet this is not a
(09:23):
sales pitch for the company.
Unknown (09:28):
Yeah, so how I got to Coaches console was, I worked in
the restaurant industry foralmost 20 years. And one of what
I call my superpowers is turningchaos into calm, selling the
restaurant industry. Anyonewho's ever worked it knows that
it gets chaotic and working inthe industry, the more chaotic
(09:51):
things got the calmer I got. Andso I got asked if I wanted to
start working in the supportteam With coaches console, for
that very reason, because peopleare coming to the support team,
they're frustrated, they'recan't figure something out. It's
not working, whatever the casemay be. And they're in that
chaotic energy of Oh my God. Andso my role as a support person
(10:16):
is to calm them down andprobably fixed.
William Forchion (10:20):
And I will say, that's also why we're
talking. I don't have I don'tnecessarily escalate, like you
came in with a de escalationstrategy of, okay, here's what
we're going to work on. Bam,bam, bam, bam, and you just
handled it. And withproficiency, that just floored
(10:43):
me because you are, look, youwere already three steps ahead
of how we're gonna solve thisthing. And I was like, Okay,
this is somebody who's totallyon their game. And that what I
didn't get that you were on thegame of coaches console, I got
you on, you're this. You'reworking in shamanic fields, and
(11:04):
you're like, your spirit guidesare telling you Oh, you need to
check this out. You need tohandle this. And you were
handling it?
Stephanie Burger (11:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So you know, the morechaos, the calmer I get, and the
more I can do. So that's, that'smy superpower. And then I wear a
sales hat. I'm on the salesteam. So I have those
conversations. And my ultimategoal is getting you clear on
your decision. Are you a hellyes. Are you? Oh, hell no. And
(11:32):
getting that clarity, myphilosophy is sales is let's,
let's come to a clear decision.
And if you're not a Hell, yes,then you're no. Like, if you're
not 100% Oh, my God, this is it.
I have to have it. I'm done.
Sign me up. Let's go. Then youryour, uh, no. And maybe you're a
(11:54):
no, not now. Maybe you're a No,a little later. But I, I just
like to help people get clear onthat. Where are you? And what is
your decision? That's the saleshat. And, people, that's
William Forchion (12:07):
a tough thing to do. Because you're, you're
kind of a gatekeeper, you'resitting there going, Okay, I'm
gonna open the door for you. Ornow, this is not your door. And
I mean, I know there are a lotof people, I'm putting my hand
on my chest, because there are alot of people who have
abandonment issues when they andespecially when you're dealing
with sales, like oh, man, I justturned me away. And have read.
(12:33):
I'm also I have the hard,hardest time trying to sell
anybody anything. Because Ireally, truly believe you don't
need anything, you are enough asyou are. And how do you sell
somebody something if you don'treally believe they need it?
Right? What I've realized isthat I'm, you know, I'm not in
sales any longer when I ifthere's something that I want to
(12:54):
pitch? It's because I know itwill benefit them in ways that
it's not selling them anything.
Right. You know, I'm not tryingto sell you $1 figure, I'm
trying to, I'm opening a doorfor you. And but that door has
there's an exchange?
Stephanie Burger (13:10):
Yes. And the way you know, one way to look at
it is I'm not selling you, youare enough. And you know, what
happens when you get to yourlevel 10 out of 10? Where do you
go from there? And the answeris, you find a new level 10? And
how do you get from this level10 to your new level 10. And one
(13:30):
thing I do with sales and withanything is I hold the vision of
I can see the next greatestversion of your next greatest
self. So I hold that vision foryou. You may not see it, right,
I see the potential that you'reat this level 10 And you're
like, Well, I made it now whatdo I do? Let's, here's your next
(13:52):
level 10 And I can see thevision of how do you get to that
next level? Right? So you areenough and how do you to the
next greatest version,
William Forchion (14:03):
Okay. So I'm gonna I'm gonna do like a right
hand turn or a left hand turn atthis point right now. You have
vision, you have clarity onwhere you are. Now you have
sobriety, you have a bunch ofhats hanging on hooks that you
can put on at different times.
Sales, Marketing support. Howdid you get here? How did you
get to where you are? College?
(14:27):
High School? Where'd you growup? Family?
Stephanie Burger (14:29):
Oh, yeah. So I I have a minister for a father
and a teacher for a mother. AndI have always been the person
when somebody is like, this isthe path you travel. I'm that
person. That's like, that's niceand boring. I think I'm going to
go this way.
William Forchion (14:46):
Oh my goodness. I'm laughing so hard.
So
Stephanie Burger (14:48):
I am always the you know, everybody's like,
this is the straight path youtake and I'm like, Nope, I'm
gonna turn and turn. Mine isvery curvy and hilly. And
William Forchion (14:57):
are you the youngest or the oldest of the
family.
Stephanie Burger (14:59):
I'm the youngest.
William Forchion (15:00):
Aha, okay.
Stephanie Burger (15:01):
I'm the youngest. Yeah. Because that's
my been my whole life. It's whenpeople say, this is how you
should do it. I'm like, I thinkthere's a better way for me. And
I find that better way I went tocollege. And after two semesters
was like, a waste of my time, Ihave zero clue what I want to do
with my life. It's a waste of mytime. It's a waste of my money.
(15:22):
It's a waste of these people'stime. So I left college. And
that's how I got into therestaurant industry. And I
absolutely loved the restaurantindustry. Like that was my gig
for years, obviously, almost 20years. And then I left the
restaurant industry because ofthe hours I was tired of the
hours, not the job, but thehours. And I same time I got
(15:44):
into the coach's console, and mydream job was always I want to
work from home. Like, my dreamjob was to work from home. And
here's coaches constantly, likehere's this opportunity. You can
work online from anywhere youcan work from home. And I'm
like, they're like, measure thepros and cons. I'm like, there
are no cons. I mean, thereprobably are. But the Pro is,
this is my dream job. This is acompany I know is company I
(16:06):
believe in and I get to workfrom home, and I have a laptop
will travel as long as I haveinternet I can work. So I was
yes, this was this was my dreamjob was to find a job. I could
work from home, whatever thatwas. And my other thing that I
wanted to do was, I wanted tohelp people. And I for the
longest time I thought that hadto be this big splash in the
(16:29):
world, right? Like my head said,my name had I had to make a big,
I had to be super rich, I had tomake a big I had to that was the
only way I was going to besuccessful. And then one day I
realize you want to work fromhome and you want to make a
difference in people's lives. Ido that. It's not big. It's not
splashy, but the difference I'mmaking people's lives now is
(16:50):
huge for them,
William Forchion (16:51):
right? Yes, it is.
Stephanie Burger (16:53):
So, its like you know, the smallest thing,
have you come to me and you'relike, I just want to do this one
thing in this stupid system, andit's not working. And five
minutes later, you're like, Oh,I got it now. And that's it and
your business is flourishing.
And that's like, so it doesn'thave to be big. It doesn't have
to be splashy, it doesn't haveto be worldwide known.
William Forchion (17:16):
And I get that. Yeah. Because I as a four
years, I would help people. Andfolks say, Well, you should be
doing this, you should be and Iwas like, No, I'm doing what I
want to be doing right now. AndI didn't care to be a celebrity
I didn't care to be your My nameto be known. And what I my
(17:37):
really deeply held for me was Iam giving power to a Nobel Prize
winner, a celebrity a, you know,like I what I do is really
important, because everyone youlook up to has had a me behind
me. And that to me is great. Youdon't have to know who I am. I
(18:01):
know who I am.
Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly.
And you know, and that's, that'sone of the things like we just
finished this big launch, I do alot of work behind the scenes to
make everything happen, likeseamlessly, so that people that
sign up, huge. It just happensfor you. And I there's a lot of
work that happens in thebackground. But like, you don't
(18:23):
need to know how much workhappens in the background, as
long as your experience is, likesmooth and seamless and amazing.
Then everything I did in thebackground is completely 1,000%
worth it to me. I don't need youto know that, oh my god,
Stephanie spent hours doing thisand this and this and this, you
know that it doesn't matter. Itdoesn't matter. As long as your
(18:46):
experience is amazing. Then Ihave done my job. And I'm like,
Yes, that's, that's what needsto happen.
So I've worked in film andtelevision production. And
because of the way we are nowwhere things are all virtual
looking. So one of the thingshappens on these virtual events.
Your yours was a three dayevent. And it ran seamlessly,
(19:07):
smoothly and seamlessly. It'sran smoothly. What in a film or
a television show. There's allthe credits and run afterwards
of who was involved on a virtualevent. It just ends and we don't
know, all the the the behind thescenes folks and how they just
they glued it together andstitched together. We see the
(19:28):
face in front and it's for me Ijust I'm so impressed. I'm I
love doing my little research.
I'm looking back on Oh, that wasan edit. I mean, they got
multiple cameras. Okay, andthen, and her eyeline is always
right. So there's got somebodywho's working on eyelines Wait a
minute music just kicked in.
There's ambient sound that'sgoing up and there's going down.
(19:49):
I was like, Oh no, and you knewwhen to put on a dance break and
and it went and it didn't changeit didn't? If no The effect on
the flow was that it worked withthe flow, whether it were there
brought it down to acontemplative place where it
picked us up to get up and danceplace or you know that to me, I
(20:12):
go, Whoa, this is a team.
Stephanie Burger (20:15):
That's yeah, the dance breaks. I am the dance
break diva on our team. That'sright, diva. That's my name.
That's my nickname. Um, butthat's another thing for me is
I, that's another hat I wear andI love that hat. Music for me
has always been an emotionaljourney. And I can hear a song.
(20:39):
And we do the dance breakspurposefully. But I can hear a
song. And when I hear it, Iinstantly go back to oh my god,
I experienced this thing at thistime in my life. And I remember
that feeling. And so when I hearthe song years later, yes. I'm
like, Oh, my God, and I crank itup. And because I'm like, Oh, my
(21:02):
God, I remember. And it bringsback the whole feeling of that
experience. So when we do thedance breaks, and we bring you
up, you know, big purposes, thisis a thing that you need to
remember. And the feeling ofdoing this thing. So we dance
it, you dance it, you experienceit. So from now on, we you hear
that song? I guarantee it fromnow on when you hear Wings by
(21:23):
Little Mix, you're gonna thinkof that. Well, other thing I
mean, yes,
William Forchion (21:27):
I do. I get that. Yeah. As I'm working in
the theatre and circus industry.
One of the things I talk aboutis, you know, you hear about
muscle memory. And when you takethat song, and that moment,
you're and when you put it intomotion, you're actually locking
into the muscles of not justyour not your head, but your
(21:48):
whole body. That moment in timeis going into muscle memory. And
I will say to you, there was themoment that there was no turning
back for me is there's a song.
That is an indicator for me thatit's like a beacon. Your goals.
This is the path you need to beon this path. And it's India
(22:11):
Irie. I am light. Yeah. When Iheard that, I was like, Ah, I'm
in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm
Stephanie Burger (22:17):
on that site.
Oh my god. I love that song.
Yeah, I love that song.
William Forchion (22:21):
That there was that moment. I was like, Ah,
man, I'm crying. Here. And I waslike, ah
Stephanie Burger (22:32):
awesome. Yay.
And also my then I what I do,there's a difference. There's
that. It's And what's funny isthat was just on the playlist.
Like that wasn't included inlike the actual things that was
just, but to, you know, to playthat song. And for you to I have
no idea that that song was yourbacon. But to make sure that was
included. Like I love the fact Ilove that synchronicity that
(22:55):
pulls the right people at theright time.
William Forchion (22:59):
Right. When the when the spirits move us, we
don't necessarily have to know.
Yeah, the wise and all thatbehind it. We faith is that we
move forward with itpurposefully. And that it
resonates head, heart and gut ina way that we know that this is
a loving path. Yes. I when Iasked you about your birth
(23:22):
order, when you started so muchof what you said. I'm like, oh,
man, oh, you know, people talkabout birth order. And I'm the
youngest. And if you talk toanyone in the family, cousins
and all that they're gonna say,oh, yeah, yeah, Billy. Oh, yeah.
You put you tell him where notto go. Guess where he's going?
I'm gonna go I'm gonna say but awe sitting here looking when the
(23:44):
view from over there is gonna besomething else. So different and
so
Stephanie Burger (23:49):
cool. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I and I
did, you know, kind of go backto I did the same thing with my
sobriety. And like I had, youknow, had therapists. And we
were talking one day and I waslike, you know, because with
when you start doing a and allthat they're like, get a sponsor
do the steps bla bla bla blabla, and I'm like, okay, so I
(24:12):
got a sponsor, and I starteddoing the steps. And then my
sponsor moved away. And I had toget a new sponsor in like, month
and a half. I looked for a newsponsor, and nobody, like just
nobody. And I said, I'm talkingto my therapist, and I was like,
what is happening? She was like,what if you think of it this a
different way? She's like, whatif you don't get a sponsor, and
you figure out how this works ina different way, so I realized
that I didn't have to do it theway everybody else was doing it.
(24:34):
I could find my own path and Idid find my own path. And so I
found this community of womenand the moment I entered this
community, I was like, This isit. This is what I've been
missing. So I kept thatcommunity and still and part of
it today. And so it's it was forme instead of the straight and
(24:55):
narrow a path. This is how youdo it. I was like, I'm gonna
take what works for me for Thisgroup from the egg group, and
I'm going to take what I needfrom this community of women and
combine them. And that gave memy perfect path. So my path
doesn't look like everybodyelse's. Obviously nothing. It's
never done that. But I, Ifigured out my own, perfect for
(25:16):
me little path and world. Andwhen you found
William Forchion (25:20):
your path, there will be a time, just like
right now where you can sharewith others who might think who
might actually look go, oh, youknow, I've tried doing this
thing and it's not working out.
And you are a beacon to say, Youknow what there might there are
other paths.
Stephanie Burger (25:36):
There's different ways. Yeah, it may be
tough to Yeah,
William Forchion (25:39):
you can do this. Yeah, courage, man. Look
where I am. I'm five years, youcan do it too.
Stephanie Burger (25:45):
And I, one of the things I learned early on
was, there's so much stigma andshame attached to addiction. And
so anytime somebody saidsomething to the effect of Oh,
you don't drink, why? I proudlystated why I don't drink. I am
in recovery from alcoholism. Andthis is my story. Should you
(26:08):
want to hear it? Because, youknow, everybody's like, Oh, that
only happens to the bomb underthe bridge on the streets,
right? Or? Or the poor peoplewho live on the wrong side of
the tracks? No, it's no, likeaddiction is not picky. And I
really want to help be a part ofgetting rid of the stigma and
(26:30):
the shame, there's, there's noshame in it, there's no, there
should be no stigma attached toit. It's, it's a thing. It's
part of this world, it is alwaysgoing to be part of this world.
And there is no shame in makinga change in your life, and
becoming sober and right
William Forchion (26:47):
in that path to point where you got to where
you're saying no more. That wasalso purposeful. That was also a
learning tool. Your mother was ateacher, you know, that was
teaching you something. Andwhether it's about self, whether
it's about what you want in yourlife, what you don't want in
your life. It there was teachingthat was done through that. And
(27:09):
there's also that point of whereI have to honor the teacher. It
may be a path that didn't serveme very, very well. But I still
honor that that path. got me towhere I am. Yeah, yeah,
absolutely. You don't need tohear this. But I'm saying
anyway, hey, I'm very sad.
Grateful for your choices. I amproud of your stepping in your
(27:29):
life in such a purposeful way,and making a difference. And by
doing so, making a profounddifference in the world.
Thank you. I'd love to hearthat. I do need to hear it. I
do. I do need to hear it. Andpeople think you don't need to
hear it. But it always you'relike, Okay, that was great. I
(27:52):
love to hear things like that. Ilove to hear I love it.
To know that you make adifference. You're making a
difference. Yeah. And I wouldalso point out that when I asked
you to be on this podcast,you're like, Huh. Because you
make a difference. And yes,you're making a difference in my
(28:15):
world, and you do what thesupport, but you, I want people
to know that you know what,there's a path, they think, oh,
I want to be this celebrity. Iwant to be Taylor Swift. I want
to be this. Hey, StephanieBerger, has followed a path that
is purposeful, and meaningful.
And that others you are atrailblazer for so many others.
And and it's really importantfor others to go, you know what,
(28:39):
I'm not fault. You know, collegedidn't work for me. And I did
this and I did that. I'm not,it's not because I'm not
something. It's because I'mgoing I am becoming more me. And
in that path, I'm doing thisthing.
Stephanie Burger (28:55):
Yeah. And I do it. I do it my way. And there's,
you know, cool trial and error.
Trial and error, you're like,Oh, that is the wrong direction.
You need to kind of turn back alittle bit. So there's trial and
error. There's ups and downs,but not when you find that you
take that step and you're likethis, this is the right
direction.
William Forchion (29:16):
How do you personally, how have you kept
yourself and maybe you don't youhaven't figured this out yet.
Keep yourself from beatingyourself up
Stephanie Burger (29:27):
on a daily thing. That's a daily battle is
a daily battle and there there'sholes that I've learned in a
there's tools in the othercommunity that I found I have my
therapist, learning to recognizethe voice in my head that is I'm
not good enough. That's thewrong decision. Who do you think
(29:47):
you are? So learning torecognize those and sometimes
they get out of hand and you'relike, Ah, finally you're like,
Okay, wait timeout becausethat's not true. And it's not
but it's a lot it's, it's, youknow, For a long time I've some
of the tools I've used are dailygratitudes. And I have journals
(30:09):
that just free write, Iliterally will just sit down and
start writing and the stuff thatcomes on I'm like, oh my god,
like, you go back and read it.
And you're like, Wow, that wasall in my head. And you realize,
okay, so here's that little, I'mnot enough food, you think you
are kind of voice? And how can Ireframe that? And reframing?
That is an exercise just likegoing to the gym. It's the the
(30:29):
constant reframing of the samephrase, that's gonna beat
yourself up. How do I reframethat? So I'm not beating myself
up? And how do I make that? I amenough. I am. This is who I am.
Kind of. So that is an exercisethat I've I still work on daily,
right now work on it daily.
William Forchion (30:51):
My mother used to get on me big time. And she
would hear me because I wouldsay out, you know, I'd say those
things are going on, I wouldspeak him out because I didn't I
didn't know it was It wasn'thelpful to me. And she would
just she would sit therepatiently and she say, can you
hear yourself? Yeah. Would youallow? Would you allow anyone in
(31:12):
this world to say the same thingabout you? No, no? Would you?
Would you accept it? If yourfriends said to you what you're
saying to you? Yeah. So as youwould say, you need to be a
better friend to yourself. Youneed
Stephanie Burger (31:27):
another another thing? Yeah. Someone
said this, to me, picture yourfive year old self sitting in a
chair in front of you. Would yousay these things to her? And the
answer is Could God no? Like,why would I do that to her? And
they're like, why do you do itto adult you? Um, so you know,
that is one of those. When Iwhen I hear those things that
(31:50):
have those thoughts, it's what Isay this to my five year old me,
and what would I say is that tomy five year old me?
William Forchion (31:58):
Well, so and that's also it's great for me to
hear and terrible for me to hearthat I'm not alone in this,
Stephanie Burger (32:06):
that and there's you know, there's so
many people I know, so manypeople are like, Oh my god, I do
the same thing to myself. AndI'm like, it's just it happens.
It's pizza, how people are. Alot of people feel that way.
Some of
William Forchion (32:18):
it is that we're, even though we don't
think you think, Oh, I'm gettingall tongue tied here. You had a
pastor and a teacher, both toteacher and Scripture teacher in
education. And we have otherteachers out there that are also
(32:39):
teaching us things that are notbeneficial to us. Right. And,
and some of those things we takeon it is how we do the negative
speak to ourselves, you know,and one of it hit me there's a
motivational speaker Yohannes.
And he pointed out, one of the,one of our greatest teachers
that we don't even give creditto, is the radio, we listen to
songs that deprecate ourselvesand talk down about who we are
(33:04):
and, and, and, and we'll acceptit, and we sing it. We don't
even like it when we first hear.
But after a while, we startsinging because the Diddy was
really good to tune was reallygood. And we're teaching
ourselves to diminish ourselves.
And it's funny because I turnedoff my radio for a month. And I
was just my vibration was somuch higher. When I wasn't
(33:28):
thinking about, Oh, you know,whatever. I'm an idiot, or this
is I'm there's nothing because Idon't have this person in my
life. Right?
Stephanie Burger (33:40):
Yeah. Yeah. So
William Forchion (33:42):
important to what information? And I always
say, it's important what weingest, we think about ingesting
is just the food.
Stephanie Burger (33:50):
But yeah, but no information we hear. Yeah.
Yeah. Social media. Like, youknow, there's the perfect
picture on Facebook. And thenyou go to the house and see the
behind the scenes and what isthis over here? Because you just
showed me this. And what isthis? You know, you're like so
(34:12):
yeah, I think you know, and itbecomes it's so easy to for us,
I believe like it's so easy toaccept the negatives and not
believe the positive.
William Forchion (34:24):
Yes, there. We too often.
We're like, Oh, you think Isuck? Yeah, I agree with you.
Yeah. Oh, you think I'm awesome?
I don't think so. Like that'swhat is that like that
one I learned a while back iswhen someone compliments you.
Say that's a great shirt did notOh, this old rag you know, like,
(34:46):
what? Or your hair looks likeit's got more curl to it. Oh,
that like, Oh, thanks fornoticing. You know, like, yeah,
just be able to take that andsit with it for a moment. Say
thank you.
Stephanie Burger (34:58):
And that was yeah, that community of women,
one of the things I learned inthat community was the only
response to a compliment isThank you. It's true. And it's,
oh my god, did you do somethingwith your hair looks amazing.
And I'm like, thanks. It's true.
They don't need to know that youdidn't do anything different.
They don't. Nobody needs to knowthat this shirt has been mined
for 15 years. They're like, Oh,my God, I love that top. Thank
(35:19):
you. Right. I love it, too. So I
William Forchion (35:24):
I'm wearing it right now. Because own it.
Stephanie Burger (35:26):
that's why I'm wearing it. It looks amazing on
me. Thanks. Yeah, that's thehardest thing.
William Forchion (35:31):
Because we're also told that it's selfish. I'm
selfishly taking thatcompliment. No, I'm so full. I'm
filling myself with thatcompliment with that love with
that joy. And because when I'mfull, everyone benefits. Right,
right. when I'm, when I'm less,I can't even support myself in a
community.
Stephanie Burger (35:52):
You I fully believe that you, you can't
deplete yourself and raisepeople up, you have to raise
yourself and to raise people up,I fully believe that you have to
fill your own cup, and then giveup the overflow. You cannot give
of your cup, because it justgets, you're just gonna end up
(36:13):
with an empty cup. But you fillyour cup and give the overflow
you have an abundance to get youcan never stop giving.
William Forchion (36:21):
Oprah says that one all the time. I'm going
to quote, Oprah here, fill yourcup and let others drink from
the saucer. Yes, well, whatoverflows and fills that saucer
is what is for others becauseyou have to remain full. If
you're depleting yourself, thenyou're going to wear at some
point, you're going to be justjust shy of empty.
Not only that, but you can'tgive your full self if you're
(36:43):
not full. No. And people deserveyour full self. Right? They
deserve your full self. So ifyou're not full, you're giving
them 20% 30%. That's not fair toyou. It's not fair to them. No.
So yeah,Oh, my goodness, we could I have
a feeling I could talk to youfor hours. And I would have just
started headed towards the closehere. And one of the questions I
(37:04):
like to ask folks, is, if youcould go back and tell your
younger self, some words ofwisdom, or just speak to your
younger self, about the pathahead? What would you say?
Stephanie Burger (37:21):
People ask me this? And I don't know. So
here's my answer, buckle up,it's gonna be a hell of a ride,
there's bumps, there's wrongs,there's rights, it's gonna be a
hell of a ride, and it's gonnabe worth it in the end. And I
say that, you know, a lot ofpeople are like, Oh, I would go
change this. And I would gocheck, I wouldn't change as a
single step I made. Because anysingle stuff that's changed,
(37:44):
does not put me where I amtoday. So to my younger self, I
would say buckle up, it's gonnabe a hell of a ride. And we're
just getting started. And, andit's all worth it. So that's,
that's what I would say to her.
William Forchion (38:00):
What I would say to your younger self is, you
are so full of courage. Believein that. And keep doing what you
do courageously. I cry when Ithink about me younger me making
some of those choices where yougot laughed at where you got
teased and picked on. And I alsolook at where that led to and
(38:24):
go, Wow, you know, you enduredthat and you celebrated in these
other things. So if you could goahead to yourself 40 years into
the future, and pass onsomething to them, or ask them
something, either pass it on orask them what would it be?
Stephanie Burger (38:46):
Well, that's a new one. Huh? I would I would
ask, I would literally just wantto know, was it all worth it?
Was everything worth it? That'sall I want to know. That's it.
William Forchion (39:00):
Oh, my goodness. Thank you, Stephanie.
Berger, thank you so much fortaking the time. This has been
fabulous. Your radiance has comethrough in such magnificent
ways. I see rainbows from yourradiance. It's just so so
magnificent than that. And Iknow you probably hear that all
(39:21):
the time. Oh, thank you. Thankyou. Thank you. What you've said
shows me who you are. And whoyou are is magnificent. Notch
the doing you the being you knowwho you are in that being right
there. And that just that'sreally phenomenal.
Stephanie Burger (39:39):
I was I was super nervous because never I'm
the behind the scenes girl. Soyou know doing this saying yes
to this was so out of my comfortzone and I was like I am going
to do this because why not stepout of your comfort zone from
time to time and because youmade it so easy to say yes. And
it was my absolute pleasure todo this and have this
(39:59):
conversation share with you andbe here. It's my absolute
pleasure.
William Forchion (40:03):
Oh, I'm just I'm like I'm just so full of
joy. I'm so full of joy. And I'mglad grateful that you did say
yes. And I just have enjoyedspending this time with you.
Thank you again Stephanie Burgerfor joining me here on
Billosophy 101. And for those ofyou listening, please remember
(40:24):
to move forward with passion andpurpose. And every morning and
every night. Say to yourself, Iam enough. Have a great day.
We'll catch you later onBillosophy 101.
Intro Voice (40:53):
Thank you for listening to the Billosophy
podcast. Keep checking in as wewill be regularly releasing new
episodes
Welcome to a place where we're thinking together
and thinking deeper about who weare. In this world, welcome to
the Billosophy podcast.
Stephanie Burger (00:18):
I am the dance break diva.
William Forchion (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to Billosophy 101. I'm
William Forchion. And today myguest is
Stephanie Burger (00:28):
I am Stephanie Burger. I wear many hats. The
company, I work for, a lot ofwork behind the scenes that
people don't see and some workin front of the scenes. And I
also another side of me that alot of people don't know is my
sobriety from alcoholism. I justcelebrated last month, five
(00:50):
years of sobriety,
William Forchi (00:51):
congratulations.
Stephanie Burger (00:53):
So that plays a big role in how I show up in
life, how I show up in work andhow I, I Can, I can be me and be
the magic behind the scene sthat I need to be. So
William Forchion (01:08):
you you just gave me so many roads to travel
down on this conversation. Andthat's exciting. Wow. Okay. Wow.
First of all, you've talkedabout the many hats that you
wear. And I, but, I want to goto that, that little nugget you
tagged on at the end? And thatis your sobriety. Yeah. And
(01:30):
without, without going intotrauma porn. What took you to
the point at which you decided,You know what, I don't need this
anymore.
Stephanie Burger (01:41):
Honestly, I tried to get I tried to get
sober a couple times. And thelast time I literally drag
myself into the hospital andlaying into the hospital bed. I
was like, Nope, I can't do this.
And I have two options. I canlive or I could not live. And I
chose to live. So I took everystep that I needed to take, I
(02:02):
became, I basically became asponge and was like, I don't
know how to do this, I have tofind people that do know how to
do this, and listen and learn.
And literally like, Please takeme by the hand, show me the
path, what do I need to do? Andthat became I became a sponge
(02:22):
and just started soaking up?
What do I need to do? What'snext? What's next? What's next?
William Forchion (02:27):
Right? There's something you just mentioned
about the humility of being thesponge. And in the other party
when you're on the other side ofthat journey. And you believe
that you're in charge, I'm justhave another one or I'm gonna
have another drink. And it'syour it's all your choices,
right? Your decision right inthat making. And yet, your
humility allowed you to makesome healthier choices.
Stephanie Burger (02:51):
Yeah, and you know, one of the things I
learned is, with any addiction,alcohol, for me, it's my choice
up to a point. And then it nolonger became my choice. It was
a in my head was I don't want todo this anymore. And the result
was, at first. It's kind of likethe universe laughing. You know,
(03:15):
like, when you're like, I haveplans, the universe kind of
giggles that you like, that'scute that you think that's
what's gonna happen? And they'relike, No, we're going this way.
So like with an addiction, it'slike, I'm done, I'm gonna quit.
And a lot of times, youraddiction is in control. And
you're like, No, it's like, no,you know, you think you're going
(03:37):
to but you're not. So it's, it'sa conscious decision. And it's a
it's not easy. It is a harddecision that for a long time
you have to make every singlemorning sometimes every hour,
sometimes every minute thatyou're like, No, I know not. Not
right now.
William Forchion (03:55):
No, I have a question to ask. And this comes
from my experience. Did youtransfer your addiction?
Stephanie Burger (04:05):
I it's very easy to do. And in a way I did.
And it's it's a lot of work tonot. Because a lot of people are
like, Oh, great, I quitdrinking. Awesome. I'm sober.
And they're like, I work out24/7 I go to the gym five times
a day, or now I'm eating everyeight hours or, for me, I did a
(04:28):
lot of online shopping. And youknow, after a couple months, I
was like, oh my god, I just havea new one. So I made a decision
to change that. I was like ifI'm gonna have a new addiction,
what can that be that is notharmful to me. And I read it. I
(04:51):
started reading like, everythingI could get my hands on all
genres. And I was like if I'mgoing to have an addiction I
think reading is going to be mything. So it's
William Forchion (05:04):
brilliant is because there's a lot of folks
will Oh, this is good, that'sbad. And it's theirs. It's
fraught, because you may havestepped into sobriety from
alcohol. And yet, they're like,for me, I haven't touched a
drink in almost 15 years now.
Yeah. And which was the silliestreason to start not drinking
(05:28):
was, I was working on a movie,and it was on location. And I
was like, I am not going to bethe guy who's only fun at the
bar, ever. After we wrap, youknow, we cut for the day. And I
was like, so I want I want ifI'm gonna be fun at the bar,
it's not because I'm drinkingtoo much, or I'm having a good
time. And so that shoot lastedsix weeks. And so I knew, then I
(05:50):
was like six weeks sober. Yeah.
And I was and then we had abreak, and there was a little
bit more. And so we did anothertwo weeks on, and I was like,
I'm now two months sober. Yeah.
Okay, can I get six months? Andthen that six months went for a
year, and then a year was liketwo years. And then and now I'm
at almost 15.
Stephanie Burger (06:14):
Yeah.
William Forchion (06:14):
And
Stephanie Burg (06:14):
Congratulations.
William Forchion (06:15):
Thank you. And I love it. Recognizing that I
had another addiction as well,as I worked out like a madman, I
trained all the time. Some ofthat came from what it took to
become the Acrobat that I was,right. Others, but others was
like, Oh, I don't I'm not doingthis now. So I can do this.
(06:37):
Yeah. And, but what I was sayingabout good or bad, right or
wrong, is I had to learn to getrid of that as well. And go to
is it healthy? Or is itunhealthy?
Stephanie Burger (06:49):
As you know, there's the whole this is wrong.
This is right, this is what youshould do. Like, I get to decide
what's wrong and right for me.
Like, nobody else gets to decidethat you may not agree with my
choices, but I get to decide,you know, what's wrong or right
for me, and the shoulds? Youknow, there's that whole saying,
(07:09):
Don't shut all over your shirton yourself. Right? And so,
getting the shoulds out of myvocabulary and mentality and
thinking is like that to work tobut getting rid of those is
huge. And, you know, noconversations.
William Forchion (07:29):
I'm gonna go for a little levity here. I'm
just gonna, if you're listeningto this on the podcast, this
won't make any sense. But itwould seem that you also have a
candle addiction. Just behindStephanie is a shelf with I'm
seeing three, there's about 15Jean candles shelf. And I love
(07:55):
candles. So that's what caughtmy eye that right off the
shoulder was a bunch of candles.
I was like,
Stephanie Burger (08:01):
Yeah. And, you know, I like I purchase I'll
purchase a lot at one time, likeall the different smells, and
then I won't purchase anythingfor a couple years. So I get my
little fix in there. And I'mlike, Alright, I'm good. You
know? So yeah, I do it is it's athing with candles.
William Forchion (08:18):
We're gonna use that candle we're in. Now
we're gonna let that candlesmolder for a little bit. And
we're gonna jump over to yourhat wearing wear lots and lots
of hats.
Stephanie Burger (08:28):
The hats I wear with coaches console, I do
sales. So coaches console is aonline software platform for
coaches and service basedentrepreneurs. It's the back end
of the business. It's where youcan set up and run the backend
of your business so that you canautomate a lot of things and
(08:51):
spend more time doing what youwant to do, and less time on the
backend of your business. Sothat's, that's the short version
of what coaches console is.
William Forchion (08:59):
Okay. So, you know, I'm just gonna say that
the owners and folks of coachescounsel are gonna be very happy
with you for not just say wewere great, right? And also, I
will also add that I am oncoach's console now. That's how
I was introduced to Stephanie.
So just to be as open aspossible, and yet this is not a
(09:23):
sales pitch for the company.
Unknown (09:28):
Yeah, so how I got to Coaches console was, I worked in
the restaurant industry foralmost 20 years. And one of what
I call my superpowers is turningchaos into calm, selling the
restaurant industry. Anyonewho's ever worked it knows that
it gets chaotic and working inthe industry, the more chaotic
(09:51):
things got the calmer I got. Andso I got asked if I wanted to
start working in the supportteam With coaches console, for
that very reason, because peopleare coming to the support team,
they're frustrated, they'recan't figure something out. It's
not working, whatever the casemay be. And they're in that
chaotic energy of Oh my God. Andso my role as a support person
(10:16):
is to calm them down andprobably fixed.
William Forchion (10:20):
And I will say, that's also why we're
talking. I don't have I don'tnecessarily escalate, like you
came in with a de escalationstrategy of, okay, here's what
we're going to work on. Bam,bam, bam, bam, and you just
handled it. And withproficiency, that just floored
(10:43):
me because you are, look, youwere already three steps ahead
of how we're gonna solve thisthing. And I was like, Okay,
this is somebody who's totallyon their game. And that what I
didn't get that you were on thegame of coaches console, I got
you on, you're this. You'reworking in shamanic fields, and
(11:04):
you're like, your spirit guidesare telling you Oh, you need to
check this out. You need tohandle this. And you were
handling it?
Stephanie Burger (11:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So you know, the morechaos, the calmer I get, and the
more I can do. So that's, that'smy superpower. And then I wear a
sales hat. I'm on the salesteam. So I have those
conversations. And my ultimategoal is getting you clear on
your decision. Are you a hellyes. Are you? Oh, hell no. And
(11:32):
getting that clarity, myphilosophy is sales is let's,
let's come to a clear decision.
And if you're not a Hell, yes,then you're no. Like, if you're
not 100% Oh, my God, this is it.
I have to have it. I'm done.
Sign me up. Let's go. Then youryour, uh, no. And maybe you're a
(11:54):
no, not now. Maybe you're a No,a little later. But I, I just
like to help people get clear onthat. Where are you? And what is
your decision? That's the saleshat. And, people, that's
William Forchion (12:07):
a tough thing to do. Because you're, you're
kind of a gatekeeper, you'resitting there going, Okay, I'm
gonna open the door for you. Ornow, this is not your door. And
I mean, I know there are a lotof people, I'm putting my hand
on my chest, because there are alot of people who have
abandonment issues when they andespecially when you're dealing
with sales, like oh, man, I justturned me away. And have read.
(12:33):
I'm also I have the hard,hardest time trying to sell
anybody anything. Because Ireally, truly believe you don't
need anything, you are enough asyou are. And how do you sell
somebody something if you don'treally believe they need it?
Right? What I've realized isthat I'm, you know, I'm not in
sales any longer when I ifthere's something that I want to
(12:54):
pitch? It's because I know itwill benefit them in ways that
it's not selling them anything.
Right. You know, I'm not tryingto sell you $1 figure, I'm
trying to, I'm opening a doorfor you. And but that door has
there's an exchange?
Stephanie Burger (13:10):
Yes. And the way you know, one way to look at
it is I'm not selling you, youare enough. And you know, what
happens when you get to yourlevel 10 out of 10? Where do you
go from there? And the answeris, you find a new level 10? And
how do you get from this level10 to your new level 10. And one
(13:30):
thing I do with sales and withanything is I hold the vision of
I can see the next greatestversion of your next greatest
self. So I hold that vision foryou. You may not see it, right,
I see the potential that you'reat this level 10 And you're
like, Well, I made it now whatdo I do? Let's, here's your next
(13:52):
level 10 And I can see thevision of how do you get to that
next level? Right? So you areenough and how do you to the
next greatest version,
William Forchion (14:03):
Okay. So I'm gonna I'm gonna do like a right
hand turn or a left hand turn atthis point right now. You have
vision, you have clarity onwhere you are. Now you have
sobriety, you have a bunch ofhats hanging on hooks that you
can put on at different times.
Sales, Marketing support. Howdid you get here? How did you
get to where you are? College?
(14:27):
High School? Where'd you growup? Family?
Stephanie Burger (14:29):
Oh, yeah. So I I have a minister for a father
and a teacher for a mother. AndI have always been the person
when somebody is like, this isthe path you travel. I'm that
person. That's like, that's niceand boring. I think I'm going to
go this way.
William Forchion (14:46):
Oh my goodness. I'm laughing so hard.
So
Stephanie Burger (14:48):
I am always the you know, everybody's like,
this is the straight path youtake and I'm like, Nope, I'm
gonna turn and turn. Mine isvery curvy and hilly. And
William Forchion (14:57):
are you the youngest or the oldest of the
family.
Stephanie Burger (14:59):
I'm the youngest.
William Forchion (15:00):
Aha, okay.
Stephanie Burger (15:01):
I'm the youngest. Yeah. Because that's
my been my whole life. It's whenpeople say, this is how you
should do it. I'm like, I thinkthere's a better way for me. And
I find that better way I went tocollege. And after two semesters
was like, a waste of my time, Ihave zero clue what I want to do
with my life. It's a waste of mytime. It's a waste of my money.
(15:22):
It's a waste of these people'stime. So I left college. And
that's how I got into therestaurant industry. And I
absolutely loved the restaurantindustry. Like that was my gig
for years, obviously, almost 20years. And then I left the
restaurant industry because ofthe hours I was tired of the
hours, not the job, but thehours. And I same time I got
(15:44):
into the coach's console, and mydream job was always I want to
work from home. Like, my dreamjob was to work from home. And
here's coaches constantly, likehere's this opportunity. You can
work online from anywhere youcan work from home. And I'm
like, they're like, measure thepros and cons. I'm like, there
are no cons. I mean, thereprobably are. But the Pro is,
this is my dream job. This is acompany I know is company I
(16:06):
believe in and I get to workfrom home, and I have a laptop
will travel as long as I haveinternet I can work. So I was
yes, this was this was my dreamjob was to find a job. I could
work from home, whatever thatwas. And my other thing that I
wanted to do was, I wanted tohelp people. And I for the
longest time I thought that hadto be this big splash in the
(16:29):
world, right? Like my head said,my name had I had to make a big,
I had to be super rich, I had tomake a big I had to that was the
only way I was going to besuccessful. And then one day I
realize you want to work fromhome and you want to make a
difference in people's lives. Ido that. It's not big. It's not
splashy, but the difference I'mmaking people's lives now is
(16:50):
huge for them,
William Forchion (16:51):
right? Yes, it is.
Stephanie Burger (16:53):
So, its like you know, the smallest thing,
have you come to me and you'relike, I just want to do this one
thing in this stupid system, andit's not working. And five
minutes later, you're like, Oh,I got it now. And that's it and
your business is flourishing.
And that's like, so it doesn'thave to be big. It doesn't have
to be splashy, it doesn't haveto be worldwide known.
William Forchion (17:16):
And I get that. Yeah. Because I as a four
years, I would help people. Andfolks say, Well, you should be
doing this, you should be and Iwas like, No, I'm doing what I
want to be doing right now. AndI didn't care to be a celebrity
I didn't care to be your My nameto be known. And what I my
(17:37):
really deeply held for me was Iam giving power to a Nobel Prize
winner, a celebrity a, you know,like I what I do is really
important, because everyone youlook up to has had a me behind
me. And that to me is great. Youdon't have to know who I am. I
(18:01):
know who I am.
Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly.
And you know, and that's, that'sone of the things like we just
finished this big launch, I do alot of work behind the scenes to
make everything happen, likeseamlessly, so that people that
sign up, huge. It just happensfor you. And I there's a lot of
work that happens in thebackground. But like, you don't
(18:23):
need to know how much workhappens in the background, as
long as your experience is, likesmooth and seamless and amazing.
Then everything I did in thebackground is completely 1,000%
worth it to me. I don't need youto know that, oh my god,
Stephanie spent hours doing thisand this and this and this, you
know that it doesn't matter. Itdoesn't matter. As long as your
(18:46):
experience is amazing. Then Ihave done my job. And I'm like,
Yes, that's, that's what needsto happen.
So I've worked in film andtelevision production. And
because of the way we are nowwhere things are all virtual
looking. So one of the thingshappens on these virtual events.
Your yours was a three dayevent. And it ran seamlessly,
(19:07):
smoothly and seamlessly. It'sran smoothly. What in a film or
a television show. There's allthe credits and run afterwards
of who was involved on a virtualevent. It just ends and we don't
know, all the the the behind thescenes folks and how they just
they glued it together andstitched together. We see the
(19:28):
face in front and it's for me Ijust I'm so impressed. I'm I
love doing my little research.
I'm looking back on Oh, that wasan edit. I mean, they got
multiple cameras. Okay, andthen, and her eyeline is always
right. So there's got somebodywho's working on eyelines Wait a
minute music just kicked in.
There's ambient sound that'sgoing up and there's going down.
(19:49):
I was like, Oh no, and you knewwhen to put on a dance break and
and it went and it didn't changeit didn't? If no The effect on
the flow was that it worked withthe flow, whether it were there
brought it down to acontemplative place where it
picked us up to get up and danceplace or you know that to me, I
(20:12):
go, Whoa, this is a team.
Stephanie Burger (20:15):
That's yeah, the dance breaks. I am the dance
break diva on our team. That'sright, diva. That's my name.
That's my nickname. Um, butthat's another thing for me is
I, that's another hat I wear andI love that hat. Music for me
has always been an emotionaljourney. And I can hear a song.
(20:39):
And we do the dance breakspurposefully. But I can hear a
song. And when I hear it, Iinstantly go back to oh my god,
I experienced this thing at thistime in my life. And I remember
that feeling. And so when I hearthe song years later, yes. I'm
like, Oh, my God, and I crank itup. And because I'm like, Oh, my
(21:02):
God, I remember. And it bringsback the whole feeling of that
experience. So when we do thedance breaks, and we bring you
up, you know, big purposes, thisis a thing that you need to
remember. And the feeling ofdoing this thing. So we dance
it, you dance it, you experienceit. So from now on, we you hear
that song? I guarantee it fromnow on when you hear Wings by
(21:23):
Little Mix, you're gonna thinkof that. Well, other thing I
mean, yes,
William Forchion (21:27):
I do. I get that. Yeah. As I'm working in
the theatre and circus industry.
One of the things I talk aboutis, you know, you hear about
muscle memory. And when you takethat song, and that moment,
you're and when you put it intomotion, you're actually locking
into the muscles of not justyour not your head, but your
(21:48):
whole body. That moment in timeis going into muscle memory. And
I will say to you, there was themoment that there was no turning
back for me is there's a song.
That is an indicator for me thatit's like a beacon. Your goals.
This is the path you need to beon this path. And it's India
(22:11):
Irie. I am light. Yeah. When Iheard that, I was like, Ah, I'm
in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm
Stephanie Burger (22:17):
on that site.
Oh my god. I love that song.
Yeah, I love that song.
William Forchion (22:21):
That there was that moment. I was like, Ah,
man, I'm crying. Here. And I waslike, ah
Stephanie Burger (22:32):
awesome. Yay.
And also my then I what I do,there's a difference. There's
that. It's And what's funny isthat was just on the playlist.
Like that wasn't included inlike the actual things that was
just, but to, you know, to playthat song. And for you to I have
no idea that that song was yourbacon. But to make sure that was
included. Like I love the fact Ilove that synchronicity that
(22:55):
pulls the right people at theright time.
William Forchion (22:59):
Right. When the when the spirits move us, we
don't necessarily have to know.
Yeah, the wise and all thatbehind it. We faith is that we
move forward with itpurposefully. And that it
resonates head, heart and gut ina way that we know that this is
a loving path. Yes. I when Iasked you about your birth
(23:22):
order, when you started so muchof what you said. I'm like, oh,
man, oh, you know, people talkabout birth order. And I'm the
youngest. And if you talk toanyone in the family, cousins
and all that they're gonna say,oh, yeah, yeah, Billy. Oh, yeah.
You put you tell him where notto go. Guess where he's going?
I'm gonna go I'm gonna say but awe sitting here looking when the
(23:44):
view from over there is gonna besomething else. So different and
so
Stephanie Burger (23:49):
cool. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I and I
did, you know, kind of go backto I did the same thing with my
sobriety. And like I had, youknow, had therapists. And we
were talking one day and I waslike, you know, because with
when you start doing a and allthat they're like, get a sponsor
do the steps bla bla bla blabla, and I'm like, okay, so I
(24:12):
got a sponsor, and I starteddoing the steps. And then my
sponsor moved away. And I had toget a new sponsor in like, month
and a half. I looked for a newsponsor, and nobody, like just
nobody. And I said, I'm talkingto my therapist, and I was like,
what is happening? She was like,what if you think of it this a
different way? She's like, whatif you don't get a sponsor, and
you figure out how this works ina different way, so I realized
that I didn't have to do it theway everybody else was doing it.
(24:34):
I could find my own path and Idid find my own path. And so I
found this community of womenand the moment I entered this
community, I was like, This isit. This is what I've been
missing. So I kept thatcommunity and still and part of
it today. And so it's it was forme instead of the straight and
(24:55):
narrow a path. This is how youdo it. I was like, I'm gonna
take what works for me for Thisgroup from the egg group, and
I'm going to take what I needfrom this community of women and
combine them. And that gave memy perfect path. So my path
doesn't look like everybodyelse's. Obviously nothing. It's
never done that. But I, Ifigured out my own, perfect for
(25:16):
me little path and world. Andwhen you found
William Forchion (25:20):
your path, there will be a time, just like
right now where you can sharewith others who might think who
might actually look go, oh, youknow, I've tried doing this
thing and it's not working out.
And you are a beacon to say, Youknow what there might there are
other paths.
Stephanie Burger (25:36):
There's different ways. Yeah, it may be
tough to Yeah,
William Forchion (25:39):
you can do this. Yeah, courage, man. Look
where I am. I'm five years, youcan do it too.
Stephanie Burger (25:45):
And I, one of the things I learned early on
was, there's so much stigma andshame attached to addiction. And
so anytime somebody saidsomething to the effect of Oh,
you don't drink, why? I proudlystated why I don't drink. I am
in recovery from alcoholism. Andthis is my story. Should you
(26:08):
want to hear it? Because, youknow, everybody's like, Oh, that
only happens to the bomb underthe bridge on the streets,
right? Or? Or the poor peoplewho live on the wrong side of
the tracks? No, it's no, likeaddiction is not picky. And I
really want to help be a part ofgetting rid of the stigma and
(26:30):
the shame, there's, there's noshame in it, there's no, there
should be no stigma attached toit. It's, it's a thing. It's
part of this world, it is alwaysgoing to be part of this world.
And there is no shame in makinga change in your life, and
becoming sober and right
William Forchion (26:47):
in that path to point where you got to where
you're saying no more. That wasalso purposeful. That was also a
learning tool. Your mother was ateacher, you know, that was
teaching you something. Andwhether it's about self, whether
it's about what you want in yourlife, what you don't want in
your life. It there was teachingthat was done through that. And
(27:09):
there's also that point of whereI have to honor the teacher. It
may be a path that didn't serveme very, very well. But I still
honor that that path. got me towhere I am. Yeah, yeah,
absolutely. You don't need tohear this. But I'm saying
anyway, hey, I'm very sad.
Grateful for your choices. I amproud of your stepping in your
(27:29):
life in such a purposeful way,and making a difference. And by
doing so, making a profounddifference in the world.
Thank you. I'd love to hearthat. I do need to hear it. I
do. I do need to hear it. Andpeople think you don't need to
hear it. But it always you'relike, Okay, that was great. I
(27:52):
love to hear things like that. Ilove to hear I love it.
To know that you make adifference. You're making a
difference. Yeah. And I wouldalso point out that when I asked
you to be on this podcast,you're like, Huh. Because you
make a difference. And yes,you're making a difference in my
(28:15):
world, and you do what thesupport, but you, I want people
to know that you know what,there's a path, they think, oh,
I want to be this celebrity. Iwant to be Taylor Swift. I want
to be this. Hey, StephanieBerger, has followed a path that
is purposeful, and meaningful.
And that others you are atrailblazer for so many others.
And and it's really importantfor others to go, you know what,
(28:39):
I'm not fault. You know, collegedidn't work for me. And I did
this and I did that. I'm not,it's not because I'm not
something. It's because I'mgoing I am becoming more me. And
in that path, I'm doing thisthing.
Stephanie Burger (28:55):
Yeah. And I do it. I do it my way. And there's,
you know, cool trial and error.
Trial and error, you're like,Oh, that is the wrong direction.
You need to kind of turn back alittle bit. So there's trial and
error. There's ups and downs,but not when you find that you
take that step and you're likethis, this is the right
direction.
William Forchion (29:16):
How do you personally, how have you kept
yourself and maybe you don't youhaven't figured this out yet.
Keep yourself from beatingyourself up
Stephanie Burger (29:27):
on a daily thing. That's a daily battle is
a daily battle and there there'sholes that I've learned in a
there's tools in the othercommunity that I found I have my
therapist, learning to recognizethe voice in my head that is I'm
not good enough. That's thewrong decision. Who do you think
(29:47):
you are? So learning torecognize those and sometimes
they get out of hand and you'relike, Ah, finally you're like,
Okay, wait timeout becausethat's not true. And it's not
but it's a lot it's, it's, youknow, For a long time I've some
of the tools I've used are dailygratitudes. And I have journals
(30:09):
that just free write, Iliterally will just sit down and
start writing and the stuff thatcomes on I'm like, oh my god,
like, you go back and read it.
And you're like, Wow, that wasall in my head. And you realize,
okay, so here's that little, I'mnot enough food, you think you
are kind of voice? And how can Ireframe that? And reframing?
That is an exercise just likegoing to the gym. It's the the
(30:29):
constant reframing of the samephrase, that's gonna beat
yourself up. How do I reframethat? So I'm not beating myself
up? And how do I make that? I amenough. I am. This is who I am.
Kind of. So that is an exercisethat I've I still work on daily,
right now work on it daily.
William Forchion (30:51):
My mother used to get on me big time. And she
would hear me because I wouldsay out, you know, I'd say those
things are going on, I wouldspeak him out because I didn't I
didn't know it was It wasn'thelpful to me. And she would
just she would sit therepatiently and she say, can you
hear yourself? Yeah. Would youallow? Would you allow anyone in
(31:12):
this world to say the same thingabout you? No, no? Would you?
Would you accept it? If yourfriends said to you what you're
saying to you? Yeah. So as youwould say, you need to be a
better friend to yourself. Youneed
Stephanie Burger (31:27):
another another thing? Yeah. Someone
said this, to me, picture yourfive year old self sitting in a
chair in front of you. Would yousay these things to her? And the
answer is Could God no? Like,why would I do that to her? And
they're like, why do you do itto adult you? Um, so you know,
that is one of those. When Iwhen I hear those things that
(31:50):
have those thoughts, it's what Isay this to my five year old me,
and what would I say is that tomy five year old me?
William Forchion (31:58):
Well, so and that's also it's great for me to
hear and terrible for me to hearthat I'm not alone in this,
Stephanie Burger (32:06):
that and there's you know, there's so
many people I know, so manypeople are like, Oh my god, I do
the same thing to myself. AndI'm like, it's just it happens.
It's pizza, how people are. Alot of people feel that way.
Some of
William Forchion (32:18):
it is that we're, even though we don't
think you think, Oh, I'm gettingall tongue tied here. You had a
pastor and a teacher, both toteacher and Scripture teacher in
education. And we have otherteachers out there that are also
(32:39):
teaching us things that are notbeneficial to us. Right. And,
and some of those things we takeon it is how we do the negative
speak to ourselves, you know,and one of it hit me there's a
motivational speaker Yohannes.
And he pointed out, one of the,one of our greatest teachers
that we don't even give creditto, is the radio, we listen to
songs that deprecate ourselvesand talk down about who we are
(33:04):
and, and, and, and we'll acceptit, and we sing it. We don't
even like it when we first hear.
But after a while, we startsinging because the Diddy was
really good to tune was reallygood. And we're teaching
ourselves to diminish ourselves.
And it's funny because I turnedoff my radio for a month. And I
was just my vibration was somuch higher. When I wasn't
(33:28):
thinking about, Oh, you know,whatever. I'm an idiot, or this
is I'm there's nothing because Idon't have this person in my
life. Right?
Stephanie Burger (33:40):
Yeah. Yeah. So
William Forchion (33:42):
important to what information? And I always
say, it's important what weingest, we think about ingesting
is just the food.
Stephanie Burger (33:50):
But yeah, but no information we hear. Yeah.
Yeah. Social media. Like, youknow, there's the perfect
picture on Facebook. And thenyou go to the house and see the
behind the scenes and what isthis over here? Because you just
showed me this. And what isthis? You know, you're like so
(34:12):
yeah, I think you know, and itbecomes it's so easy to for us,
I believe like it's so easy toaccept the negatives and not
believe the positive.
William Forchion (34:24):
Yes, there. We too often.
We're like, Oh, you think Isuck? Yeah, I agree with you.
Yeah. Oh, you think I'm awesome?
I don't think so. Like that'swhat is that like that
one I learned a while back iswhen someone compliments you.
Say that's a great shirt did notOh, this old rag you know, like,
(34:46):
what? Or your hair looks likeit's got more curl to it. Oh,
that like, Oh, thanks fornoticing. You know, like, yeah,
just be able to take that andsit with it for a moment. Say
thank you.
Stephanie Burger (34:58):
And that was yeah, that community of women,
one of the things I learned inthat community was the only
response to a compliment isThank you. It's true. And it's,
oh my god, did you do somethingwith your hair looks amazing.
And I'm like, thanks. It's true.
They don't need to know that youdidn't do anything different.
They don't. Nobody needs to knowthat this shirt has been mined
for 15 years. They're like, Oh,my God, I love that top. Thank
(35:19):
you. Right. I love it, too. So I
William Forchion (35:24):
I'm wearing it right now. Because own it.
Stephanie Burger (35:26):
that's why I'm wearing it. It looks amazing on
me. Thanks. Yeah, that's thehardest thing.
William Forchion (35:31):
Because we're also told that it's selfish. I'm
selfishly taking thatcompliment. No, I'm so full. I'm
filling myself with thatcompliment with that love with
that joy. And because when I'mfull, everyone benefits. Right,
right. when I'm, when I'm less,I can't even support myself in a
community.
Stephanie Burger (35:52):
You I fully believe that you, you can't
deplete yourself and raisepeople up, you have to raise
yourself and to raise people up,I fully believe that you have to
fill your own cup, and then giveup the overflow. You cannot give
of your cup, because it justgets, you're just gonna end up
(36:13):
with an empty cup. But you fillyour cup and give the overflow
you have an abundance to get youcan never stop giving.
William Forchion (36:21):
Oprah says that one all the time. I'm going
to quote, Oprah here, fill yourcup and let others drink from
the saucer. Yes, well, whatoverflows and fills that saucer
is what is for others becauseyou have to remain full. If
you're depleting yourself, thenyou're going to wear at some
point, you're going to be justjust shy of empty.
Not only that, but you can'tgive your full self if you're
(36:43):
not full. No. And people deserveyour full self. Right? They
deserve your full self. So ifyou're not full, you're giving
them 20% 30%. That's not fair toyou. It's not fair to them. No.
So yeah,Oh, my goodness, we could I have
a feeling I could talk to youfor hours. And I would have just
started headed towards the closehere. And one of the questions I
(37:04):
like to ask folks, is, if youcould go back and tell your
younger self, some words ofwisdom, or just speak to your
younger self, about the pathahead? What would you say?
Stephanie Burger (37:21):
People ask me this? And I don't know. So
here's my answer, buckle up,it's gonna be a hell of a ride,
there's bumps, there's wrongs,there's rights, it's gonna be a
hell of a ride, and it's gonnabe worth it in the end. And I
say that, you know, a lot ofpeople are like, Oh, I would go
change this. And I would gocheck, I wouldn't change as a
single step I made. Because anysingle stuff that's changed,
(37:44):
does not put me where I amtoday. So to my younger self, I
would say buckle up, it's gonnabe a hell of a ride. And we're
just getting started. And, andit's all worth it. So that's,
that's what I would say to her.
William Forchion (38:00):
What I would say to your younger self is, you
are so full of courage. Believein that. And keep doing what you
do courageously. I cry when Ithink about me younger me making
some of those choices where yougot laughed at where you got
teased and picked on. And I alsolook at where that led to and
(38:24):
go, Wow, you know, you enduredthat and you celebrated in these
other things. So if you could goahead to yourself 40 years into
the future, and pass onsomething to them, or ask them
something, either pass it on orask them what would it be?
Stephanie Burger (38:46):
Well, that's a new one. Huh? I would I would
ask, I would literally just wantto know, was it all worth it?
Was everything worth it? That'sall I want to know. That's it.
William Forchion (39:00):
Oh, my goodness. Thank you, Stephanie.
Berger, thank you so much fortaking the time. This has been
fabulous. Your radiance has comethrough in such magnificent
ways. I see rainbows from yourradiance. It's just so so
magnificent than that. And Iknow you probably hear that all
(39:21):
the time. Oh, thank you. Thankyou. Thank you. What you've said
shows me who you are. And whoyou are is magnificent. Notch
the doing you the being you knowwho you are in that being right
there. And that just that'sreally phenomenal.
Stephanie Burger (39:39):
I was I was super nervous because never I'm
the behind the scenes girl. Soyou know doing this saying yes
to this was so out of my comfortzone and I was like I am going
to do this because why not stepout of your comfort zone from
time to time and because youmade it so easy to say yes. And
it was my absolute pleasure todo this and have this
(39:59):
conversation share with you andbe here. It's my absolute
pleasure.
William Forchion (40:03):
Oh, I'm just I'm like I'm just so full of
joy. I'm so full of joy. And I'mglad grateful that you did say
yes. And I just have enjoyedspending this time with you.
Thank you again Stephanie Burgerfor joining me here on
Billosophy 101. And for those ofyou listening, please remember
(40:24):
to move forward with passion andpurpose. And every morning and
every night. Say to yourself, Iam enough. Have a great day.
We'll catch you later onBillosophy 101.
Intro Voice (40:53):
Thank you for listening to the Billosophy
podcast. Keep checking in as wewill be regularly releasing new
episodes
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