February 20, 2025 • 26 mins
Lori emphasizes the importance of acknowledging grief and loss, finding hope and joy in a new normal, and staying active in both physical and emotional therapy. The discussion also highlights the significance of community support, especially from friends, and the need for broader stroke awareness. The episode concludes with updates on Lori’s upcoming books, including a children's series aimed at teaching inclusivity and acceptance.
https://lorivober.com/lorilonghorn99
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Instrumental
Brittany (00:08):
Hi, I'm Brittany, and I'm a TBI survivor a member of
BIND, too.
Carrie (00:14):
And hi, I'm Carrie, a stroke survivor and a member of
BIND, as well.
And today, we get to welcomeback Lori.
Vober, I wrote, I know I said itwrong, but you'll figure it out.
You may remember her from lastseason.
We talked with her about herpersonal stroke story, how she
advocates for new survivors, andher journey to becoming a
published author, plus muchmore.
(00:34):
She happens to be back in town,so we wanted to catch up with
her and see what's going on.
So here we go.
Welcome back, Lori.
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here.
Brian (00:45):
Welcome to bindwaves, the official podcast of the Brain
Injury Network of Dallas.
I'm Brian White, BIND'sExecutive Director.
On each episode, we'll beproviding insight into the brain
injury community.
We'll be talking to members andprofessionals regarding their
stories and the important roleof BIND's Clubhouse.
We work as a team to inspirehope, community, and a sense of
(01:08):
purpose to survivors,caregivers, and the public.
Thank you for tuning in toBINDWAVES.
Let's get on with the show.
Carrie (01:16):
Okay, so since we last saw you, just tell us a little
bit about how life has beensince then.
Yes.
I know you've been busy, busy.
I
Brittany (01:24):
have been busy busy, so I
Carrie (01:26):
to write.
when I was here the last time, Ishared my, journey a
Brittany (01:30):
little bit with you guys.
Carrie (01:31):
My book choices, which came out in 2022.
I
Brittany (01:35):
continue to write,
Carrie (01:37):
as a compilation author.
My 10th compilation justpublished this year.
Um, uh, in fact, last month, I'mdoing a lot of speaking, both at
retreats and in churches, butI'm very active in Arizona where
I live in the stroke community.
I think it's really importantto, um, take what we've gone
through and give back.
Uh, that's why I love yourorganization and what you do
(01:59):
here at BIND.
Brittany (02:00):
Um, I
Carrie (02:01):
look at, uh, where we have come
Lori (02:04):
from, uh, We all
Carrie (02:06):
have different stories and different, places that we've
come from and differentjourneys, but we all have the
same, um, medical challenge inthe fact that everything changed
in the blink of an eye and wecan never go back, but we can go
forward.
And uh, that's really themessage I have for my stroke
community.
And I've learned so
Brittany (02:25):
much
Carrie (02:25):
my own journey about the importance of grief and loss.
And that's
Lori (02:29):
really
Carrie (02:29):
important.
Lori (02:30):
um,
Brittany (02:30):
what,
Carrie (02:31):
what my newest journey in the past six months has been
is I worked so hard, um,originally on, uh, physical
challenges and, uh, physicalrecovery, uh, but I didn't
realize the importance of, um,the emotional, um, recovery
Lori (02:45):
and, uh,
Carrie (02:46):
how important that is in our recovery journey.
Brittany (02:49):
Knowing that stroke recovery is a long, lifelong
journey and the therapy islifelong doing it, how do you
encourage others that thisjourney won't give them hope,
peace, or success.
Carrie (03:05):
You know, I have found so much in my new normal, but,
uh, I did realize that, um,
Lori (03:11):
uh, you know,
Carrie (03:11):
just jumping into therapy and
Brittany (03:14):
having the goals
Carrie (03:15):
of, um, the physical recovery, um,
Brittany (03:18):
with the
Carrie (03:18):
expectation that I was going to make a full recovery
was not the right approach.
It is important to stay intherapy and to be active.
And I'm still in therapy even 22years later, I'm um, two days a
week.
And so it is a lifelong journeyand you don't think at the
beginning it's
Lori (03:34):
going to be.
Carrie (03:36):
Um, But I have found so much hope, joy, and new success
in my new normal.
Um, but that comes with, um,really realizing that,
Lori (03:45):
um, you
Carrie (03:45):
did have a, a loss
Brittany (03:47):
and in grieving
Carrie (03:48):
through that loss.
For me, I was 29 when I had myhemiorrhagic stroke.
And, And I had the loss ofdreams, the loss of uh, uhh,
biological children, uhh, theloss of a career.
And we all have losses, whetherit's a medical challenge or Um,
other kinds of challenges.
And I think it's not a sign ofweakness to recognize that grief
(04:08):
and that loss, but just toprocess it so that you can move
forward in a healthy manner, getthe emotional support
Brittany (04:14):
you
Lori (04:14):
need, to move forward
Carrie (04:15):
um, and to realize that, um, you're not stuck within your
disability, and it's, yourdisability is not, um, a source
of your identity, um, it's just,um,
Lori (04:25):
how
Carrie (04:25):
you are, and, um, you can have just as much happiness
and joy within your new normal,um, it's just a different
perspective change.
No, and I agree with that.
You're saying new normal.
And new normal was a term that Iheard a lot in the very
beginning.
And a lot of the members herearound BIND have heard, and a
lot of people do not like thatterm.
I mean, it is a, it's, I mean, Ididn't like it when I first
(04:47):
started.
I mean, and then you talk aboutthe grief and grieving.
And when I realized that, um,after my stroke, I had to use
the same grieving techniquesthat you do when you lose a
family member.
You go, you go through all thosesame stages.
And once I accepted that andworked my way through those
stages, I could then accept mynew normal.
(05:08):
And if you read my Facebookprofile, it says, living in my
best second life.
Because that's exactly where Iam today.
Yes, yes.
I went through actually GriefShare at my church, a 13 week
program, and um, several peoplewere I'm very surprised that I
would choose to go that routebecause
Brittany (05:24):
most people
Carrie (05:25):
consider Grief sharing for someone that has lost a
spouse.
or a family member.
But it helped me
Brittany (05:30):
so much just to,
Carrie (05:32):
wrap my arms around the grieving process and even,
Brittany (05:37):
to
Carrie (05:37):
watch how other people, grieve and reflect on, the
process and just to recognize,
Lori (05:44):
that.
Carrie (05:46):
the, way, um, we all process our losses.
Right, and I think that's whatmost people don't get.
Is like you said, most peopleare grieving the loss of
someone.
Well, as you said, you had to,you lost, you know, your
independency, your career, yourability to have children.
I was the same way.
I was 38.
I was independent.
I was on my way up the corporateladder.
(06:07):
I had lots of plans, lots ofambitions.
That person died when I had astroke.
So I did have to grieve the lossof a loved one.
Unfortunately, it was part ofme.
Now that part of me is still inhere, but it's manifested in a
different way now.
Absolutely.
And we take
Brittany (06:24):
what, um,
Lori (06:24):
Uh, you
Carrie (06:25):
my, a lot of my passion comes from my faith.
Um, and, uh, uh, you know,everybody has their own passion,
their own drive, their ownperseverance.
Uh, but, you know, I think wetake that.
Um, and we have to move forward,Uh, you
Brittany (06:39):
know, my,
Lori (06:40):
uh,
Carrie (06:41):
my old life, my old passions didn't die.
Um, they just
Brittany (06:45):
came alongside
Carrie (06:46):
my challenges and my challenges truly have
Brittany (06:49):
come alongside my
Carrie (06:50):
my purpose.
I always say that,
Lori (06:52):
uh, um you
Carrie (06:53):
know, you can either get stuck in your challenges and
just sit at home or you can usethem for opportunities.
Brittany (06:59):
And, um,
Lori (07:00):
uh,
Carrie (07:00):
you know, I have found so many great opportunities, um,
combining,
Lori (07:04):
uh, my
Carrie (07:05):
background in marketing and sales and customer service,
um, with the challenges thatI've gone through, um,
Lori (07:12):
and it just
Carrie (07:13):
a great passion and purpose.
Absolutely.
Brittany (07:21):
Yeah.
So, um so you, um, So youmentioned everyone has a
disability, or a limp, orsomething, something noticeable,
or something not noticeable.
So, how do you, um, Like, don'tlose your true identity.
Can you explain what you mean bythis?
The, your quote, like, ourdisabilities don't define us, so
(07:43):
don't lose your true identitywith your stroke recovery.
Oh,
Carrie (07:47):
yes.
Um, so, for a long time, I feellike I was, in a bit of a
bubble.
Um, and, uh, by that, I just wasvery protected.
um, right after my stroke, um, Iworked
Brittany (07:59):
very hard to,
Carrie (08:00):
um, recover, did, um, therapy, um, almost as a full
time
Brittany (08:04):
job.
Lori (08:05):
then we
Carrie (08:05):
chose to adopt, um, three children,
Brittany (08:08):
um, eight years post stroke in order to start our
family, um, from Columbia, SouthAmerica.
And, uh,
Carrie (08:14):
that was a, a beautiful
Brittany (08:15):
journey of blessings and challenges, but it
Carrie (08:17):
it fulfilled my ability to be a mom.
Um, but it
Brittany (08:20):
was when I became an author and, uh, um, then
decided.
to
Carrie (08:24):
motivational speaker, that my world
Brittany (08:26):
opened
Carrie (08:27):
up again.
And I realized that, in so manycases, I couldn't keep up with
my peers.
And many times my, heart and mypassions, and my body don't,
Lori (08:39):
um,
Carrie (08:40):
keep in sync, and I just can't do all the things that I
want to do.
My body just will not allow meto.
And, I find that, I started,feeling less than, and,
Lori (08:52):
you know,
Carrie (08:53):
that's what I really started analyzing.
I'm not less than because of mydisability.
It's just where I am in life
Lori (08:59):
and so I
Carrie (08:59):
don't want anyone else that maybe has a physical
Lori (09:03):
to
Carrie (09:04):
ever start thinking that is their identity and that they
are less than because you arenot.
It's not your identity of whoyou truly are.
Lori (09:12):
Um,
Carrie (09:13):
your true identity is who um, God created you to be.
It's your personality.
It's who you are giving.
Um, who you are as a person.
Um, what we can
Brittany (09:22):
do and
Carrie (09:23):
we
Lori (09:23):
can't do,
Carrie (09:24):
that's just a part of our body and what our body
Lori (09:27):
allows us to to do.
Um, you
Carrie (09:30):
know, those who don't, um, I have a physical
Lori (09:33):
disability.
Um,
Carrie (09:34):
and I have friends that
Brittany (09:35):
that, are in the same situation that I
Carrie (09:37):
am and I have many friends that aren't.
And those that aren't in oursame situation don't understand
that from the minute we get outof bed to the minute we go to
bed, I am always on, as youprobably are, um, in awareness.
I mean, every step I take has tobe with caution.
Every crack in the, in the roadis with awareness of um,
(10:00):
falling.
Um, and I am always keenly awareof um, my surroundings and how
I'm feeling.
Um, I have epilepsy from thestroke, so I'm always having to
be aware of, um,
Lori (10:11):
you know, am I getting
Carrie (10:12):
too tired?
Am I, am I
Lori (10:14):
am am I
Carrie (10:14):
feeling okay?
And, most people that don't havemedical challenges just go about
their normal day
Brittany (10:21):
and they don't have
Carrie (10:22):
to worry about
Lori (10:23):
these
Carrie (10:24):
And uh, so I've just learned so much about um,
reflection and processing andbeing just aware
Lori (10:31):
of people
Brittany (10:32):
around you.
Lori (10:32):
And I think
Carrie (10:33):
so many people are so busy on their phones and they
just, they, they're not um,trying to be unaware.
On purpose, they just aren't.
And so I just encourage othersto, um, to take a step back
Lori (10:47):
and just be more aware of
Carrie (10:49):
around you.
I've learned that it takes justa moment to deliver kindness,
and kindness and encouragementis our free gift to
Lori (10:56):
one
Brittany (10:56):
another
Lori (10:56):
yeah, It truly is.
um,
Carrie (10:59):
again, that quote and what I was trying to get at is
just from my own personalexperience of realizing, um, you
know, we don't have control overa lot of the challenges we go
through, but what we
Brittany (11:11):
have a choice in is our reaction to
Carrie (11:13):
circumstances.
And that's where our control is.
I think a lot of people that
Lori (11:17):
go through
Carrie (11:17):
tough medical challenges, whether it's a TBI,
a stroke, or, cancer or another,um, devastating disease.
They feel out of control.
But truly, we always have achoice in
Lori (11:30):
our reaction.
Brittany (11:32):
Yeah, my reaction is when you were talking about
grief earlier and accepting it,I know to be honest I haven't
really accepted it and I haven'tgrieved or really processed my
brain injury It's like me kindof ignoring it and I always tell
people it's the one injury Ican't escape from because in my
brain so no matter how hard Iguess I need to accept it though
But still but then also I'vebeen thinking lately I've been
(11:55):
talking to people and peoplehave been encouraging me and so
now in my mind right now I havea little motto, like, Oh, at
first I thought my brain injuryruined my life.
Like, it ruined everything, myplans.
But now, I just have to thinkabout it.
I get to reimagine my life.
So that's kind of my motto now.
Lori (12:13):
I
Carrie (12:14):
that.
Yes.
Um, and, it
Brittany (12:16):
takes time.
It's a journey.
Yeah.
Carrie (12:18):
and like I said, I'm 22 years
Brittany (12:20):
into it, so you just have to give yourself
Carrie (12:22):
and realize that, um, you know, you have from now
until the day you die to,
Brittany (12:26):
to figure it out,
Carrie (12:27):
Right, no, and I was laughing when you were talking
about other people just need tobe aware Um, just people are
always looking at their phone.
Well, I'm just saying I meany'all all know y'all all know
everyone knows I'm a hockey fan.
I go to the Stars games Well, soI always whoever is with me at
the game holds, you know I holdon to them leaving the game
because first of all, I'm waydown here and everyone else is
(12:49):
way up here and everyone justlooks straightforward.
So people don't think to lookdown and even notice me.
So I am holding on to someone,you know, to get through the
crowd because people just don'tcare.
I mean, maybe I shouldn't saythey don't care.
They're just unaware they andthey don't because they don't
have to think about things likewe do.
They don't.
Look at their surroundings andall that.
(13:11):
So that kind of brings what kindof talking about all this so
Brittany (13:14):
um,
Carrie (13:14):
I know you've gotten very active in your local
community back in New Mexicowith support groups and things.
So, how do you encourage othersurvivors to not focus so much
on what their personality wasbefore the stroke or the TBI or
whatever it may be and embracethat new to bring in that
personality that was there and Iknow some of that you just it
(13:37):
gets unwired because of thebrain injury but to find that
personality and grow thatpersonality and that confidence
after your injury how do youmotivate Think, I think it's
just um, you know, everybody'sdifferent.
Um, but I try and justencourage, um, others, and I do
a lot at stroke rehab hospitals,um, so they're still inpatients.
(13:58):
Um, and I just want to be kindof the walking miracle that they
can see that the struggle is.
is hard at that point in time,but for them to understand the
struggle
Brittany (14:09):
that they're in right
Carrie (14:09):
now is not forever.
Um, and I think sometimes whenwe're in that devastating, um,
um, role, we, have a skewedpoint of view and, we kind of
have blinders on.
And I think that's for any of usin a journey, you know, we have
our blinders on.
If we could just take theblinders off and look at things
with a brighter view.
Brittany (14:30):
Broad broader and brighter view, Um,
Carrie (14:33):
I've learned to have a perspective of gratefulness and
that has really helped me withmy outlook.
Brittany (14:40):
And it, It doesn't change
Carrie (14:41):
physical disability, but having a perspective of
gratefulness definitely changesyour outlook on things and that
can truly change your wholepicture.
So I just encourage others whenI'm talking to them to realize
that the current struggle thatyou're in It's not going to be
forever.
So make your plans, make yourgoals and make baby goals.
(15:02):
Um, you know, start with thebaby goals and start with the
big goals And, have a bucketlist.
Lori (15:09):
You
Carrie (15:09):
it might take a long time to get to your bucket list.
I have lots of bucket lists, um,and, uh, you know,
Brittany (15:16):
I may or may
Carrie (15:18):
not achieve them, but the bucket lists are what keeps
us going.
Sure.
And, uh, that's important, youknow, for
Brittany (15:23):
all of
Carrie (15:23):
us to have that.
Brittany (15:24):
it's, I love that
Carrie (15:26):
there's more and more stroke support groups, and I
think that we need to recognizethat many of the stroke support
groups, Um, aren't as occupiedas we want them to be because
caregivers are tired.
And so many of us, um, do needto depend on others.
And, uh, we
Lori (15:41):
need to
Carrie (15:41):
realize that, um, it is just as hard, um, on the
survivor as it is on thefamilies of the survivors and
the
Lori (15:49):
caregivers.
Carrie (15:50):
And, um, you know, if, if, those around us could
Brittany (15:53):
can realize,
Carrie (15:54):
um, that That when something tragic like this
happens, it affects the wholefamily.
And everybody's tired.
So, families, um, could get thesupport of friends, um, and
loved ones.
I, I depend on friends a lotnow, and I learned so much about
vulnerability.
Um, through this, I used tothink that by being vulnerable,
I wouldn't have friends and noone would understand
Brittany (16:16):
and no one would like me
Carrie (16:17):
anymore.
And then I realized that I can'tcontrol other people's
Lori (16:21):
emotions
Carrie (16:22):
towards me and how everybody
Brittany (16:25):
thinks.
Carrie (16:25):
I can only control
Lori (16:26):
myself, by being vulnerable,
Carrie (16:28):
I might get support.
I might get connection.
And I also got, um, uh,understanding.
And I depend on friends now totake me to the doctor
appointments and stroke supportgroups, which relieves my
family.
And I think sometimes we need todo that.
We need
Brittany (16:44):
to relieve our families,
Carrie (16:46):
um, from that stress and give them the respite.
That's so true.
I'm going to take a quick littlebreak and remind our listeners
out there to go ahead and clickthat like button while you're
listening.
Click that share button.
Click that subscribe button andclick that notify button if
you're watching us on YouTube soyou continue to get reminded.
And now back to Lori.
So I said, I love what you'resaying about relying on friends
(17:09):
instead of family as you grow.
And it again, that takes some ofthat confidence to learn your,
what your abilities are, whatyou need.
And what was probably one of thehardest things for me after my
stroke that ability to learn Howto ask for help.
Because I was very, veryindependent in the beginning.
I still think that I am.
(17:29):
And I don't like, I mean, askingpeople to reach stuff off the
top shelf is no big deal, butasking for real help is a big
deal.
But I think, I think strokesupport groups and organizations
like ours are what help us grow,regrow that personality and that
confidence.
Because we feel, in thebeginning, we feel so, I don't
know what the word is, unsure.
(17:51):
But the more you get aroundlike-minded individuals, other
people that have a brain injury,other people that understand,
because again, our caregivers,our friends don't understand.
They can empathize.
Right.
But they don't understand.
so it's hard so,
Brittany (18:08):
yes.
Absolutely.
And I think we all like to be incontrol.
I was sharing with my husband,um, uh, recently that, uh, I
remember, my memory's comingback slowly, um, of things in
the hospital, um, when I had my,uh, brain injury.
Lori (18:23):
um, that
Brittany (18:24):
I used to love the ice machine when I was in rehab.
and I think it's the one thing Ihad control over when I had
control over nothing, but Icould press the button for the
ice machine.
And, I think we all like controlover things.
And, for those of us that wereall, independent and then
drastically life changed withsomething like a stroke or a
(18:45):
traumatic brain injury, weimmediately lost that control.
And so when we have to ask afriend to, do
Lori (18:52):
things, um, you know that's
Brittany (18:54):
our lack of control and that is
Lori (18:55):
hard
Brittany (18:56):
for
Lori (18:56):
each of us.
In order
Carrie (18:57):
come, um, to
Lori (18:58):
this
Brittany (18:58):
trip to
Carrie (18:58):
Texas right now, um, I have a great friend traveling
with me and, uh, um, you know,it's, I'm so grateful that she
said yes, but um, I would muchrather be able to
Brittany (19:09):
be independent and drive myself and, and stay by
myself.
Carrie (19:12):
But that's not
Brittany (19:14):
the safest
Carrie (19:14):
thing to do, and I know that.
And so, um, I've just learned,um, you know, I, I have a
passion to share and encourage,um, others
Brittany (19:22):
and Um,
Carrie (19:23):
this is what
Brittany (19:23):
I need to do in order to do that.
Mm-hmm Yeah.
So you're talking aboutencouraging to others and people
understanding and that you hadchallenges.
challenges So with thechallenges, um, comes
opportunities.
So were you able to do that orhow did your challenges help you
gain more opportunities?
Carrie (19:40):
You know,
Brittany (19:41):
I think it's just, um, looking
Carrie (19:43):
outside the box
Brittany (19:44):
and,
Carrie (19:44):
uh, really pushing yourself
Brittany (19:46):
to find those opportunities.
I love sharing in my strokecommunity because I'm with my,
my
Carrie (19:52):
people.
Brittany (19:52):
my, my,
Carrie (19:53):
my, um, my
Brittany (19:55):
that
Carrie (19:55):
me,
Brittany (19:56):
it's my comfort zone.
Um,
Carrie (19:58):
I love sharing at retreats and churches, um, and I
share a lot
Brittany (20:02):
about choices and challenges and not getting stuck
and
Carrie (20:05):
the importance of community and friendship and
marriage and commitment.
my husband and I were just shyof our 5th year wedding
anniversary when this happenedand we're now going on 27
Brittany (20:15):
years, and so,
Carrie (20:16):
um, I talk about the importance of marriage, um,
Lori (20:19):
and, uh,
Carrie (20:20):
but, um, to share in the
Lori (20:22):
stroke
Carrie (20:22):
community.
is so
Brittany (20:24):
important to me and, and I'm very passionate about
just encouraging those that havegone through
Carrie (20:29):
what I've gone through, um, just
Brittany (20:31):
to give them the
Carrie (20:31):
encouragement to,
Lori (20:33):
never give up.
I
Carrie (20:36):
Yeah, no, I mean, I love that.
And that's, I mean, truly is.
I feel like, um, when theclubhouse started, seven, eight
years ago, there was very little
Brittany (20:51):
brain
Carrie (20:51):
community.
And I feel like as, over time,as we've grown, um, how much
more the, the general public islearning about the brain injury
community and how much all therehab facilities are working
together more as a community andjust collaborating more and
doing more and getting theawareness out there, which is a
(21:12):
big thing we don't, we haven'thad.
I mean, we're lucky to be here.
That we had our brain injurieswhen we did because 40 years
ago, they just shoved us in amental institution and said
you're done.
Brittany (21:23):
And that's a big, I appreciate you bringing that up.
A big
Carrie (21:25):
part of this is the stroke awareness for those in
the community, um, that, thatare perfectly healthy.
Because we were healthy.
Um, prior to our strokes.
And for me, um, at age 29, I hadno
Brittany (21:38):
idea
Lori (21:38):
the signs
Brittany (21:39):
a stroke.
Carrie (21:40):
so I'm very
Brittany (21:40):
active in the community, um, in May and
October during
Carrie (21:44):
Stroke Awareness Months, just to let the community know
the signs of stroke, uh, and letothers know what to be aware of.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, so yeah, I mean, um,
Lori (21:58):
one
Brittany (21:59):
of
Carrie (21:59):
the other things you talked about is everyone wants
to feel supported, understood,and loved, and listened to.
Um, How do you take the time, orhow do you adopt that idea, you
know, how do you get others tounderstand?
I need you to listen a littlebetter, or notice a little
better.
I think sometimes you just haveto tell them.
(22:21):
it's important, I need this fromyou.
And, and to be a good listeneryourself.
I find that same thing with thedoctors
Brittany (22:27):
and the medical personnel.
They get so used to you know,Um, Going, going, going.
I have to say,
Carrie (22:33):
please just stop
Brittany (22:35):
and listen to me.
I am a real person and these aremy goals.
Carrie (22:39):
and I think sometimes we just need
Brittany (22:41):
to, um,
Carrie (22:43):
step out of
Brittany (22:43):
comfort zone
Carrie (22:44):
and don't
Brittany (22:45):
worry about hurting feelings and
Lori (22:47):
just say,
Brittany (22:48):
for listening.
Lori (22:49):
This
Brittany (22:49):
This is what I need from you.
And I
Carrie (22:50):
am a
Brittany (22:51):
people pleaser, so
Carrie (22:52):
that's really, really
Brittany (22:53):
for me.
Carrie (22:54):
Um, but you know, it
Brittany (22:55):
goes both ways.
Carrie (22:56):
Sometimes we just
Brittany (22:57):
need
Carrie (22:57):
to, um, do the same.
I'm a big card writer, and I'm
Brittany (23:01):
a big gift giver.
That's my love language.
And so I send a lot of gifts topeople, a lot of cards
Carrie (23:06):
to people because I try
Brittany (23:07):
and do to others what I needed, and I never got.
And, uh, you know,
Carrie (23:13):
sometimes you might never get what you need, but you
can be that vessel to someoneelse.
I love that.
Brittany (23:21):
So, um, what's next for you?
Um,
Carrie (23:24):
so I'm continuing to write.
Um, I, have a uh, 52 chapterbook that I'm working
Brittany (23:29):
on that's going to be, um, like my book
Carrie (23:31):
Choices, um, but it will talk about um, more of
Brittany (23:35):
the emotional side, that what I've learned on
Carrie (23:38):
journey on healing.
and it's
Brittany (23:39):
going to deal with,
Carrie (23:40):
um, our identity and our self confidence
Brittany (23:43):
and finding our new normal,
Carrie (23:45):
um, and, uh, I'm still working on that.
Brittany (23:48):
then
Carrie (23:48):
then I'm going to be starting a children's book
series with
Brittany (23:51):
another author,
Carrie (23:53):
with my service dog as
Brittany (23:54):
the main character.
Carrie (23:55):
that's so exciting.
His name's
Brittany (23:56):
maverick, he's
Carrie (23:58):
old now.
He's a German shepherd Husky.
Um, but, uh, I want to teachchildren how to
Brittany (24:03):
accept others that aren't like themselves.
Carrie (24:05):
Um, that might have a disability or an illness.
Um,
Brittany (24:09):
because
Lori (24:09):
think if we could
Brittany (24:09):
start with the children, the adults would
understand better.
Carrie (24:12):
Um, and so, um, Maverick's going to find a
Brittany (24:15):
family.
Lori (24:16):
going
Carrie (24:16):
to become a service dog.
He's going to learn
Brittany (24:18):
his manners.
Lori (24:19):
And, uh,
Carrie (24:20):
so that's going
Brittany (24:20):
going to be coming out
Lori (24:21):
in the
Carrie (24:22):
I think that's so awesome, because children are so
understanding.
If you just explain, because Iknow, you know, little kids
always look at my AFO andthey're, and I'm like, do I say
something?
Do I not say something?
I just let it go.
Brittany (24:35):
When he's decked out, they're like, oh, a police
Carrie (24:37):
dog.
So
Brittany (24:39):
hope to get
Carrie (24:40):
series out
Brittany (24:40):
and then start going into
Lori (24:42):
school.
Brittany (24:42):
Kids are fun to talk to about because they do ask me
about it.
And then, you know, I have tonot tell them the horrific,
like, things.
It's like, oh, well, you know, Ihurt my head.
I have a brain injury.
And so they kind of, like, askmore questions and I tell them
why.
And so then they understand.
So it's a good learningexperience for kids to start
young.
Learn
Lori (24:59):
Absolutely,
Brittany (25:00):
because, you know, kids, um,
Carrie (25:02):
can be really mean to each other, they, don't
understand, and kids
Brittany (25:06):
desperately need
Carrie (25:07):
friends, and, especially
Brittany (25:09):
with uh,
Carrie (25:10):
disabilities or kids with an illness, um, they need
to be accepted.
And so if,
Lori (25:15):
we can
Carrie (25:16):
ensure that and help that,
Lori (25:18):
like
Carrie (25:18):
to be a part of
Lori (25:20):
that
Carrie (25:20):
Well, lori, thank you so much for coming back and joining
us.
I'm glad you reached out so wecould get to figure where you
are now, and I'm sure we'll haveyou back on later in life.
want to talk to you when thebooks are done, and I want the
Maverick book.
Brittany (25:33):
Okay, I'm heading in my pre
Carrie (25:35):
order now.
you.
again for joining us, and thankyou all for listening.
Brittany (25:40):
And then if you would like to contact us, you can
email us atbindwaves@thebind.org Follow us
on Instagram at@bindwaves, andvisit our website
thebind.org/bindwaves.
Carrie (25:55):
And again, don't forget to like, share and subscribe on
your favorite platform.
Also, hit notify on YouTubewhile you're listening to
BIndwaves
Brittany (26:04):
Yep, you can also find all our new episodes on all your
favorite platforms, so don'tforget.
Carrie (26:10):
oh, Until next time.
Brittany (26:12):
Until next time.
We hope you've enjoyed listeningto BIND Waves and continue to
support BIND and our non profitmission.
We support brain injurysurvivors as they reconnect into
the life, the community, andtheir workplace.
And we couldn't do that withoutgreat listeners like you.
We appreciate each and every oneof you.
Continue watching.
Until next time.
Until next time.
Instrumental
Brittany (00:08):
Hi, I'm Brittany, and I'm a TBI survivor a member of
BIND, too.
Carrie (00:14):
And hi, I'm Carrie, a stroke survivor and a member of
BIND, as well.
And today, we get to welcomeback Lori.
Vober, I wrote, I know I said itwrong, but you'll figure it out.
You may remember her from lastseason.
We talked with her about herpersonal stroke story, how she
advocates for new survivors, andher journey to becoming a
published author, plus muchmore.
(00:34):
She happens to be back in town,so we wanted to catch up with
her and see what's going on.
So here we go.
Welcome back, Lori.
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here.
Brian (00:45):
Welcome to bindwaves, the official podcast of the Brain
Injury Network of Dallas.
I'm Brian White, BIND'sExecutive Director.
On each episode, we'll beproviding insight into the brain
injury community.
We'll be talking to members andprofessionals regarding their
stories and the important roleof BIND's Clubhouse.
We work as a team to inspirehope, community, and a sense of
(01:08):
purpose to survivors,caregivers, and the public.
Thank you for tuning in toBINDWAVES.
Let's get on with the show.
Carrie (01:16):
Okay, so since we last saw you, just tell us a little
bit about how life has beensince then.
Yes.
I know you've been busy, busy.
I
Brittany (01:24):
have been busy busy, so I
Carrie (01:26):
to write.
when I was here the last time, Ishared my, journey a
Brittany (01:30):
little bit with you guys.
Carrie (01:31):
My book choices, which came out in 2022.
I
Brittany (01:35):
continue to write,
Carrie (01:37):
as a compilation author.
My 10th compilation justpublished this year.
Um, uh, in fact, last month, I'mdoing a lot of speaking, both at
retreats and in churches, butI'm very active in Arizona where
I live in the stroke community.
I think it's really importantto, um, take what we've gone
through and give back.
Uh, that's why I love yourorganization and what you do
(01:59):
here at BIND.
Brittany (02:00):
Um, I
Carrie (02:01):
look at, uh, where we have come
Lori (02:04):
from, uh, We all
Carrie (02:06):
have different stories and different, places that we've
come from and differentjourneys, but we all have the
same, um, medical challenge inthe fact that everything changed
in the blink of an eye and wecan never go back, but we can go
forward.
And uh, that's really themessage I have for my stroke
community.
And I've learned so
Brittany (02:25):
much
Carrie (02:25):
my own journey about the importance of grief and loss.
And that's
Lori (02:29):
really
Carrie (02:29):
important.
Lori (02:30):
um,
Brittany (02:30):
what,
Carrie (02:31):
what my newest journey in the past six months has been
is I worked so hard, um,originally on, uh, physical
challenges and, uh, physicalrecovery, uh, but I didn't
realize the importance of, um,the emotional, um, recovery
Lori (02:45):
and, uh,
Carrie (02:46):
how important that is in our recovery journey.
Brittany (02:49):
Knowing that stroke recovery is a long, lifelong
journey and the therapy islifelong doing it, how do you
encourage others that thisjourney won't give them hope,
peace, or success.
Carrie (03:05):
You know, I have found so much in my new normal, but,
uh, I did realize that, um,
Lori (03:11):
uh, you know,
Carrie (03:11):
just jumping into therapy and
Brittany (03:14):
having the goals
Carrie (03:15):
of, um, the physical recovery, um,
Brittany (03:18):
with the
Carrie (03:18):
expectation that I was going to make a full recovery
was not the right approach.
It is important to stay intherapy and to be active.
And I'm still in therapy even 22years later, I'm um, two days a
week.
And so it is a lifelong journeyand you don't think at the
beginning it's
Lori (03:34):
going to be.
Carrie (03:36):
Um, But I have found so much hope, joy, and new success
in my new normal.
Um, but that comes with, um,really realizing that,
Lori (03:45):
um, you
Carrie (03:45):
did have a, a loss
Brittany (03:47):
and in grieving
Carrie (03:48):
through that loss.
For me, I was 29 when I had myhemiorrhagic stroke.
And, And I had the loss ofdreams, the loss of uh, uhh,
biological children, uhh, theloss of a career.
And we all have losses, whetherit's a medical challenge or Um,
other kinds of challenges.
And I think it's not a sign ofweakness to recognize that grief
(04:08):
and that loss, but just toprocess it so that you can move
forward in a healthy manner, getthe emotional support
Brittany (04:14):
you
Lori (04:14):
need, to move forward
Carrie (04:15):
um, and to realize that, um, you're not stuck within your
disability, and it's, yourdisability is not, um, a source
of your identity, um, it's just,um,
Lori (04:25):
how
Carrie (04:25):
you are, and, um, you can have just as much happiness
and joy within your new normal,um, it's just a different
perspective change.
No, and I agree with that.
You're saying new normal.
And new normal was a term that Iheard a lot in the very
beginning.
And a lot of the members herearound BIND have heard, and a
lot of people do not like thatterm.
I mean, it is a, it's, I mean, Ididn't like it when I first
(04:47):
started.
I mean, and then you talk aboutthe grief and grieving.
And when I realized that, um,after my stroke, I had to use
the same grieving techniquesthat you do when you lose a
family member.
You go, you go through all thosesame stages.
And once I accepted that andworked my way through those
stages, I could then accept mynew normal.
(05:08):
And if you read my Facebookprofile, it says, living in my
best second life.
Because that's exactly where Iam today.
Yes, yes.
I went through actually GriefShare at my church, a 13 week
program, and um, several peoplewere I'm very surprised that I
would choose to go that routebecause
Brittany (05:24):
most people
Carrie (05:25):
consider Grief sharing for someone that has lost a
spouse.
or a family member.
But it helped me
Brittany (05:30):
so much just to,
Carrie (05:32):
wrap my arms around the grieving process and even,
Brittany (05:37):
to
Carrie (05:37):
watch how other people, grieve and reflect on, the
process and just to recognize,
Lori (05:44):
that.
Carrie (05:46):
the, way, um, we all process our losses.
Right, and I think that's whatmost people don't get.
Is like you said, most peopleare grieving the loss of
someone.
Well, as you said, you had to,you lost, you know, your
independency, your career, yourability to have children.
I was the same way.
I was 38.
I was independent.
I was on my way up the corporateladder.
(06:07):
I had lots of plans, lots ofambitions.
That person died when I had astroke.
So I did have to grieve the lossof a loved one.
Unfortunately, it was part ofme.
Now that part of me is still inhere, but it's manifested in a
different way now.
Absolutely.
And we take
Brittany (06:24):
what, um,
Lori (06:24):
Uh, you
Carrie (06:25):
my, a lot of my passion comes from my faith.
Um, and, uh, uh, you know,everybody has their own passion,
their own drive, their ownperseverance.
Uh, but, you know, I think wetake that.
Um, and we have to move forward,Uh, you
Brittany (06:39):
know, my,
Lori (06:40):
uh,
Carrie (06:41):
my old life, my old passions didn't die.
Um, they just
Brittany (06:45):
came alongside
Carrie (06:46):
my challenges and my challenges truly have
Brittany (06:49):
come alongside my
Carrie (06:50):
my purpose.
I always say that,
Lori (06:52):
uh, um you
Carrie (06:53):
know, you can either get stuck in your challenges and
just sit at home or you can usethem for opportunities.
Brittany (06:59):
And, um,
Lori (07:00):
uh,
Carrie (07:00):
you know, I have found so many great opportunities, um,
combining,
Lori (07:04):
uh, my
Carrie (07:05):
background in marketing and sales and customer service,
um, with the challenges thatI've gone through, um,
Lori (07:12):
and it just
Carrie (07:13):
a great passion and purpose.
Absolutely.
Brittany (07:21):
Yeah.
So, um so you, um, So youmentioned everyone has a
disability, or a limp, orsomething, something noticeable,
or something not noticeable.
So, how do you, um, Like, don'tlose your true identity.
Can you explain what you mean bythis?
The, your quote, like, ourdisabilities don't define us, so
(07:43):
don't lose your true identitywith your stroke recovery.
Oh,
Carrie (07:47):
yes.
Um, so, for a long time, I feellike I was, in a bit of a
bubble.
Um, and, uh, by that, I just wasvery protected.
um, right after my stroke, um, Iworked
Brittany (07:59):
very hard to,
Carrie (08:00):
um, recover, did, um, therapy, um, almost as a full
time
Brittany (08:04):
job.
Lori (08:05):
then we
Carrie (08:05):
chose to adopt, um, three children,
Brittany (08:08):
um, eight years post stroke in order to start our
family, um, from Columbia, SouthAmerica.
And, uh,
Carrie (08:14):
that was a, a beautiful
Brittany (08:15):
journey of blessings and challenges, but it
Carrie (08:17):
it fulfilled my ability to be a mom.
Um, but it
Brittany (08:20):
was when I became an author and, uh, um, then
decided.
to
Carrie (08:24):
motivational speaker, that my world
Brittany (08:26):
opened
Carrie (08:27):
up again.
And I realized that, in so manycases, I couldn't keep up with
my peers.
And many times my, heart and mypassions, and my body don't,
Lori (08:39):
um,
Carrie (08:40):
keep in sync, and I just can't do all the things that I
want to do.
My body just will not allow meto.
And, I find that, I started,feeling less than, and,
Lori (08:52):
you know,
Carrie (08:53):
that's what I really started analyzing.
I'm not less than because of mydisability.
It's just where I am in life
Lori (08:59):
and so I
Carrie (08:59):
don't want anyone else that maybe has a physical
Lori (09:03):
to
Carrie (09:04):
ever start thinking that is their identity and that they
are less than because you arenot.
It's not your identity of whoyou truly are.
Lori (09:12):
Um,
Carrie (09:13):
your true identity is who um, God created you to be.
It's your personality.
It's who you are giving.
Um, who you are as a person.
Um, what we can
Brittany (09:22):
do and
Carrie (09:23):
we
Lori (09:23):
can't do,
Carrie (09:24):
that's just a part of our body and what our body
Lori (09:27):
allows us to to do.
Um, you
Carrie (09:30):
know, those who don't, um, I have a physical
Lori (09:33):
disability.
Um,
Carrie (09:34):
and I have friends that
Brittany (09:35):
that, are in the same situation that I
Carrie (09:37):
am and I have many friends that aren't.
And those that aren't in oursame situation don't understand
that from the minute we get outof bed to the minute we go to
bed, I am always on, as youprobably are, um, in awareness.
I mean, every step I take has tobe with caution.
Every crack in the, in the roadis with awareness of um,
(10:00):
falling.
Um, and I am always keenly awareof um, my surroundings and how
I'm feeling.
Um, I have epilepsy from thestroke, so I'm always having to
be aware of, um,
Lori (10:11):
you know, am I getting
Carrie (10:12):
too tired?
Am I, am I
Lori (10:14):
am am I
Carrie (10:14):
feeling okay?
And, most people that don't havemedical challenges just go about
their normal day
Brittany (10:21):
and they don't have
Carrie (10:22):
to worry about
Lori (10:23):
these
Carrie (10:24):
And uh, so I've just learned so much about um,
reflection and processing andbeing just aware
Lori (10:31):
of people
Brittany (10:32):
around you.
Lori (10:32):
And I think
Carrie (10:33):
so many people are so busy on their phones and they
just, they, they're not um,trying to be unaware.
On purpose, they just aren't.
And so I just encourage othersto, um, to take a step back
Lori (10:47):
and just be more aware of
Carrie (10:49):
around you.
I've learned that it takes justa moment to deliver kindness,
and kindness and encouragementis our free gift to
Lori (10:56):
one
Brittany (10:56):
another
Lori (10:56):
yeah, It truly is.
um,
Carrie (10:59):
again, that quote and what I was trying to get at is
just from my own personalexperience of realizing, um, you
know, we don't have control overa lot of the challenges we go
through, but what we
Brittany (11:11):
have a choice in is our reaction to
Carrie (11:13):
circumstances.
And that's where our control is.
I think a lot of people that
Lori (11:17):
go through
Carrie (11:17):
tough medical challenges, whether it's a TBI,
a stroke, or, cancer or another,um, devastating disease.
They feel out of control.
But truly, we always have achoice in
Lori (11:30):
our reaction.
Brittany (11:32):
Yeah, my reaction is when you were talking about
grief earlier and accepting it,I know to be honest I haven't
really accepted it and I haven'tgrieved or really processed my
brain injury It's like me kindof ignoring it and I always tell
people it's the one injury Ican't escape from because in my
brain so no matter how hard Iguess I need to accept it though
But still but then also I'vebeen thinking lately I've been
(11:55):
talking to people and peoplehave been encouraging me and so
now in my mind right now I havea little motto, like, Oh, at
first I thought my brain injuryruined my life.
Like, it ruined everything, myplans.
But now, I just have to thinkabout it.
I get to reimagine my life.
So that's kind of my motto now.
Lori (12:13):
I
Carrie (12:14):
that.
Yes.
Um, and, it
Brittany (12:16):
takes time.
It's a journey.
Yeah.
Carrie (12:18):
and like I said, I'm 22 years
Brittany (12:20):
into it, so you just have to give yourself
Carrie (12:22):
and realize that, um, you know, you have from now
until the day you die to,
Brittany (12:26):
to figure it out,
Carrie (12:27):
Right, no, and I was laughing when you were talking
about other people just need tobe aware Um, just people are
always looking at their phone.
Well, I'm just saying I meany'all all know y'all all know
everyone knows I'm a hockey fan.
I go to the Stars games Well, soI always whoever is with me at
the game holds, you know I holdon to them leaving the game
because first of all, I'm waydown here and everyone else is
(12:49):
way up here and everyone justlooks straightforward.
So people don't think to lookdown and even notice me.
So I am holding on to someone,you know, to get through the
crowd because people just don'tcare.
I mean, maybe I shouldn't saythey don't care.
They're just unaware they andthey don't because they don't
have to think about things likewe do.
They don't.
Look at their surroundings andall that.
(13:11):
So that kind of brings what kindof talking about all this so
Brittany (13:14):
um,
Carrie (13:14):
I know you've gotten very active in your local
community back in New Mexicowith support groups and things.
So, how do you encourage othersurvivors to not focus so much
on what their personality wasbefore the stroke or the TBI or
whatever it may be and embracethat new to bring in that
personality that was there and Iknow some of that you just it
(13:37):
gets unwired because of thebrain injury but to find that
personality and grow thatpersonality and that confidence
after your injury how do youmotivate Think, I think it's
just um, you know, everybody'sdifferent.
Um, but I try and justencourage, um, others, and I do
a lot at stroke rehab hospitals,um, so they're still inpatients.
(13:58):
Um, and I just want to be kindof the walking miracle that they
can see that the struggle is.
is hard at that point in time,but for them to understand the
struggle
Brittany (14:09):
that they're in right
Carrie (14:09):
now is not forever.
Um, and I think sometimes whenwe're in that devastating, um,
um, role, we, have a skewedpoint of view and, we kind of
have blinders on.
And I think that's for any of usin a journey, you know, we have
our blinders on.
If we could just take theblinders off and look at things
with a brighter view.
Brittany (14:30):
Broad broader and brighter view, Um,
Carrie (14:33):
I've learned to have a perspective of gratefulness and
that has really helped me withmy outlook.
Brittany (14:40):
And it, It doesn't change
Carrie (14:41):
physical disability, but having a perspective of
gratefulness definitely changesyour outlook on things and that
can truly change your wholepicture.
So I just encourage others whenI'm talking to them to realize
that the current struggle thatyou're in It's not going to be
forever.
So make your plans, make yourgoals and make baby goals.
(15:02):
Um, you know, start with thebaby goals and start with the
big goals And, have a bucketlist.
Lori (15:09):
You
Carrie (15:09):
it might take a long time to get to your bucket list.
I have lots of bucket lists, um,and, uh, you know,
Brittany (15:16):
I may or may
Carrie (15:18):
not achieve them, but the bucket lists are what keeps
us going.
Sure.
And, uh, that's important, youknow, for
Brittany (15:23):
all of
Carrie (15:23):
us to have that.
Brittany (15:24):
it's, I love that
Carrie (15:26):
there's more and more stroke support groups, and I
think that we need to recognizethat many of the stroke support
groups, Um, aren't as occupiedas we want them to be because
caregivers are tired.
And so many of us, um, do needto depend on others.
And, uh, we
Lori (15:41):
need to
Carrie (15:41):
realize that, um, it is just as hard, um, on the
survivor as it is on thefamilies of the survivors and
the
Lori (15:49):
caregivers.
Carrie (15:50):
And, um, you know, if, if, those around us could
Brittany (15:53):
can realize,
Carrie (15:54):
um, that That when something tragic like this
happens, it affects the wholefamily.
And everybody's tired.
So, families, um, could get thesupport of friends, um, and
loved ones.
I, I depend on friends a lotnow, and I learned so much about
vulnerability.
Um, through this, I used tothink that by being vulnerable,
I wouldn't have friends and noone would understand
Brittany (16:16):
and no one would like me
Carrie (16:17):
anymore.
And then I realized that I can'tcontrol other people's
Lori (16:21):
emotions
Carrie (16:22):
towards me and how everybody
Brittany (16:25):
thinks.
Carrie (16:25):
I can only control
Lori (16:26):
myself, by being vulnerable,
Carrie (16:28):
I might get support.
I might get connection.
And I also got, um, uh,understanding.
And I depend on friends now totake me to the doctor
appointments and stroke supportgroups, which relieves my
family.
And I think sometimes we need todo that.
We need
Brittany (16:44):
to relieve our families,
Carrie (16:46):
um, from that stress and give them the respite.
That's so true.
I'm going to take a quick littlebreak and remind our listeners
out there to go ahead and clickthat like button while you're
listening.
Click that share button.
Click that subscribe button andclick that notify button if
you're watching us on YouTube soyou continue to get reminded.
And now back to Lori.
So I said, I love what you'resaying about relying on friends
(17:09):
instead of family as you grow.
And it again, that takes some ofthat confidence to learn your,
what your abilities are, whatyou need.
And what was probably one of thehardest things for me after my
stroke that ability to learn Howto ask for help.
Because I was very, veryindependent in the beginning.
I still think that I am.
(17:29):
And I don't like, I mean, askingpeople to reach stuff off the
top shelf is no big deal, butasking for real help is a big
deal.
But I think, I think strokesupport groups and organizations
like ours are what help us grow,regrow that personality and that
confidence.
Because we feel, in thebeginning, we feel so, I don't
know what the word is, unsure.
(17:51):
But the more you get aroundlike-minded individuals, other
people that have a brain injury,other people that understand,
because again, our caregivers,our friends don't understand.
They can empathize.
Right.
But they don't understand.
so it's hard so,
Brittany (18:08):
yes.
Absolutely.
And I think we all like to be incontrol.
I was sharing with my husband,um, uh, recently that, uh, I
remember, my memory's comingback slowly, um, of things in
the hospital, um, when I had my,uh, brain injury.
Lori (18:23):
um, that
Brittany (18:24):
I used to love the ice machine when I was in rehab.
and I think it's the one thing Ihad control over when I had
control over nothing, but Icould press the button for the
ice machine.
And, I think we all like controlover things.
And, for those of us that wereall, independent and then
drastically life changed withsomething like a stroke or a
(18:45):
traumatic brain injury, weimmediately lost that control.
And so when we have to ask afriend to, do
Lori (18:52):
things, um, you know that's
Brittany (18:54):
our lack of control and that is
Lori (18:55):
hard
Brittany (18:56):
for
Lori (18:56):
each of us.
In order
Carrie (18:57):
come, um, to
Lori (18:58):
this
Brittany (18:58):
trip to
Carrie (18:58):
Texas right now, um, I have a great friend traveling
with me and, uh, um, you know,it's, I'm so grateful that she
said yes, but um, I would muchrather be able to
Brittany (19:09):
be independent and drive myself and, and stay by
myself.
Carrie (19:12):
But that's not
Brittany (19:14):
the safest
Carrie (19:14):
thing to do, and I know that.
And so, um, I've just learned,um, you know, I, I have a
passion to share and encourage,um, others
Brittany (19:22):
and Um,
Carrie (19:23):
this is what
Brittany (19:23):
I need to do in order to do that.
Mm-hmm Yeah.
So you're talking aboutencouraging to others and people
understanding and that you hadchallenges.
challenges So with thechallenges, um, comes
opportunities.
So were you able to do that orhow did your challenges help you
gain more opportunities?
Carrie (19:40):
You know,
Brittany (19:41):
I think it's just, um, looking
Carrie (19:43):
outside the box
Brittany (19:44):
and,
Carrie (19:44):
uh, really pushing yourself
Brittany (19:46):
to find those opportunities.
I love sharing in my strokecommunity because I'm with my,
my
Carrie (19:52):
people.
Brittany (19:52):
my, my,
Carrie (19:53):
my, um, my
Brittany (19:55):
that
Carrie (19:55):
me,
Brittany (19:56):
it's my comfort zone.
Um,
Carrie (19:58):
I love sharing at retreats and churches, um, and I
share a lot
Brittany (20:02):
about choices and challenges and not getting stuck
and
Carrie (20:05):
the importance of community and friendship and
marriage and commitment.
my husband and I were just shyof our 5th year wedding
anniversary when this happenedand we're now going on 27
Brittany (20:15):
years, and so,
Carrie (20:16):
um, I talk about the importance of marriage, um,
Lori (20:19):
and, uh,
Carrie (20:20):
but, um, to share in the
Lori (20:22):
stroke
Carrie (20:22):
community.
is so
Brittany (20:24):
important to me and, and I'm very passionate about
just encouraging those that havegone through
Carrie (20:29):
what I've gone through, um, just
Brittany (20:31):
to give them the
Carrie (20:31):
encouragement to,
Lori (20:33):
never give up.
I
Carrie (20:36):
Yeah, no, I mean, I love that.
And that's, I mean, truly is.
I feel like, um, when theclubhouse started, seven, eight
years ago, there was very little
Brittany (20:51):
brain
Carrie (20:51):
community.
And I feel like as, over time,as we've grown, um, how much
more the, the general public islearning about the brain injury
community and how much all therehab facilities are working
together more as a community andjust collaborating more and
doing more and getting theawareness out there, which is a
(21:12):
big thing we don't, we haven'thad.
I mean, we're lucky to be here.
That we had our brain injurieswhen we did because 40 years
ago, they just shoved us in amental institution and said
you're done.
Brittany (21:23):
And that's a big, I appreciate you bringing that up.
A big
Carrie (21:25):
part of this is the stroke awareness for those in
the community, um, that, thatare perfectly healthy.
Because we were healthy.
Um, prior to our strokes.
And for me, um, at age 29, I hadno
Brittany (21:38):
idea
Lori (21:38):
the signs
Brittany (21:39):
a stroke.
Carrie (21:40):
so I'm very
Brittany (21:40):
active in the community, um, in May and
October during
Carrie (21:44):
Stroke Awareness Months, just to let the community know
the signs of stroke, uh, and letothers know what to be aware of.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, so yeah, I mean, um,
Lori (21:58):
one
Brittany (21:59):
of
Carrie (21:59):
the other things you talked about is everyone wants
to feel supported, understood,and loved, and listened to.
Um, How do you take the time, orhow do you adopt that idea, you
know, how do you get others tounderstand?
I need you to listen a littlebetter, or notice a little
better.
I think sometimes you just haveto tell them.
(22:21):
it's important, I need this fromyou.
And, and to be a good listeneryourself.
I find that same thing with thedoctors
Brittany (22:27):
and the medical personnel.
They get so used to you know,Um, Going, going, going.
I have to say,
Carrie (22:33):
please just stop
Brittany (22:35):
and listen to me.
I am a real person and these aremy goals.
Carrie (22:39):
and I think sometimes we just need
Brittany (22:41):
to, um,
Carrie (22:43):
step out of
Brittany (22:43):
comfort zone
Carrie (22:44):
and don't
Brittany (22:45):
worry about hurting feelings and
Lori (22:47):
just say,
Brittany (22:48):
for listening.
Lori (22:49):
This
Brittany (22:49):
This is what I need from you.
And I
Carrie (22:50):
am a
Brittany (22:51):
people pleaser, so
Carrie (22:52):
that's really, really
Brittany (22:53):
for me.
Carrie (22:54):
Um, but you know, it
Brittany (22:55):
goes both ways.
Carrie (22:56):
Sometimes we just
Brittany (22:57):
need
Carrie (22:57):
to, um, do the same.
I'm a big card writer, and I'm
Brittany (23:01):
a big gift giver.
That's my love language.
And so I send a lot of gifts topeople, a lot of cards
Carrie (23:06):
to people because I try
Brittany (23:07):
and do to others what I needed, and I never got.
And, uh, you know,
Carrie (23:13):
sometimes you might never get what you need, but you
can be that vessel to someoneelse.
I love that.
Brittany (23:21):
So, um, what's next for you?
Um,
Carrie (23:24):
so I'm continuing to write.
Um, I, have a uh, 52 chapterbook that I'm working
Brittany (23:29):
on that's going to be, um, like my book
Carrie (23:31):
Choices, um, but it will talk about um, more of
Brittany (23:35):
the emotional side, that what I've learned on
Carrie (23:38):
journey on healing.
and it's
Brittany (23:39):
going to deal with,
Carrie (23:40):
um, our identity and our self confidence
Brittany (23:43):
and finding our new normal,
Carrie (23:45):
um, and, uh, I'm still working on that.
Brittany (23:48):
then
Carrie (23:48):
then I'm going to be starting a children's book
series with
Brittany (23:51):
another author,
Carrie (23:53):
with my service dog as
Brittany (23:54):
the main character.
Carrie (23:55):
that's so exciting.
His name's
Brittany (23:56):
maverick, he's
Carrie (23:58):
old now.
He's a German shepherd Husky.
Um, but, uh, I want to teachchildren how to
Brittany (24:03):
accept others that aren't like themselves.
Carrie (24:05):
Um, that might have a disability or an illness.
Um,
Brittany (24:09):
because
Lori (24:09):
think if we could
Brittany (24:09):
start with the children, the adults would
understand better.
Carrie (24:12):
Um, and so, um, Maverick's going to find a
Brittany (24:15):
family.
Lori (24:16):
going
Carrie (24:16):
to become a service dog.
He's going to learn
Brittany (24:18):
his manners.
Lori (24:19):
And, uh,
Carrie (24:20):
so that's going
Brittany (24:20):
going to be coming out
Lori (24:21):
in the
Carrie (24:22):
I think that's so awesome, because children are so
understanding.
If you just explain, because Iknow, you know, little kids
always look at my AFO andthey're, and I'm like, do I say
something?
Do I not say something?
I just let it go.
Brittany (24:35):
When he's decked out, they're like, oh, a police
Carrie (24:37):
dog.
So
Brittany (24:39):
hope to get
Carrie (24:40):
series out
Brittany (24:40):
and then start going into
Lori (24:42):
school.
Brittany (24:42):
Kids are fun to talk to about because they do ask me
about it.
And then, you know, I have tonot tell them the horrific,
like, things.
It's like, oh, well, you know, Ihurt my head.
I have a brain injury.
And so they kind of, like, askmore questions and I tell them
why.
And so then they understand.
So it's a good learningexperience for kids to start
young.
Learn
Lori (24:59):
Absolutely,
Brittany (25:00):
because, you know, kids, um,
Carrie (25:02):
can be really mean to each other, they, don't
understand, and kids
Brittany (25:06):
desperately need
Carrie (25:07):
friends, and, especially
Brittany (25:09):
with uh,
Carrie (25:10):
disabilities or kids with an illness, um, they need
to be accepted.
And so if,
Lori (25:15):
we can
Carrie (25:16):
ensure that and help that,
Lori (25:18):
like
Carrie (25:18):
to be a part of
Lori (25:20):
that
Carrie (25:20):
Well, lori, thank you so much for coming back and joining
us.
I'm glad you reached out so wecould get to figure where you
are now, and I'm sure we'll haveyou back on later in life.
want to talk to you when thebooks are done, and I want the
Maverick book.
Brittany (25:33):
Okay, I'm heading in my pre
Carrie (25:35):
order now.
you.
again for joining us, and thankyou all for listening.
Brittany (25:40):
And then if you would like to contact us, you can
email us atbindwaves@thebind.org Follow us
on Instagram at@bindwaves, andvisit our website
thebind.org/bindwaves.
Carrie (25:55):
And again, don't forget to like, share and subscribe on
your favorite platform.
Also, hit notify on YouTubewhile you're listening to
BIndwaves
Brittany (26:04):
Yep, you can also find all our new episodes on all your
favorite platforms, so don'tforget.
Carrie (26:10):
oh, Until next time.
Brittany (26:12):
Until next time.
We hope you've enjoyed listeningto BIND Waves and continue to
support BIND and our non profitmission.
We support brain injurysurvivors as they reconnect into
the life, the community, andtheir workplace.
And we couldn't do that withoutgreat listeners like you.
We appreciate each and every oneof you.
Continue watching.
Until next time.
Until next time.
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