August 12, 2025 • 35 mins
This week Besties Angella and Leslie explore how to invest now to create a future that their older selves will thank them for. They were inspired by an 82-year-old patient who's maintained friendships since high school and lives vibrantly in her ninth decade.
0:00
Welcome to Black Boomer Besties
2:05
An 82-Year-Old Inspiration
6:20
Future Self Letters and Financial Preparedness
15:40
Health 2.0: Physical Fitness for Aging
22:57
Lymphatic Health and Body Maintenance
27:17
Messages from Present to Past Self
34:02
Gratitude for Emotional Resilience
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey Ang hey, les what's cooking.
Good looking.
Listen.
This is my green day Listen youknow me in green.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You look marvelous in my green, oh you look marvelous
in my black.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
So welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties
from Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm Angella and that's Leslie, my best friend of
almost 50 years.
We are two free-thinking60-something-year-old Black
women who have decided to bemore bold and joyful in our
lives, and we started thispodcast so that we could share
some of that with you andhopefully encourage you to come
(00:48):
along with us, not on ourjourney, but to have your own
joy journey, your own bold joyjourney.
So today we're going to betalking about our future selves,
both from where we are now andwhat we hope our future selves
(01:11):
will be, and some of the thingsthat we might have hoped for
when we were younger, andwhether we have met those
expectations in our current age.
So that's where we're takingyou today, but Leslie's got an
ask for you.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So I'd love for you to click like and subscribe.
We bring really good contentand it's kind of funny, it's
provocative, it's poignant, it'scerebral, all the things, but
it really it comes from theheart and we deliver it to you
about once a week.
So hit like and subscribe, tellyour friends about us, sign up
(01:48):
for notifications so that youknow when we drop new content.
I'd appreciate it, she'dappreciate it, and we heart you.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
We heart, you, we heart you, thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Okay, so Leslie had a patient.
A patient.
Ok, so Leslie had A patient, apatient, and I haven't heard
this.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yet she said and you won't believe it I called you up
from the place when the ladywas in the recovery room with
her permission.
Yes, she's actually going to bea guest on our podcast.
Yeah, she said, I don't knownothing about podcasts, I don't
listen to podcasts, I said.
I said maybe your son can helpyou, or my grandson, you know
I'm like okay, she needs theother generation.
(02:31):
So I had the occasion to meetan 82-year-old patient and when
you all see her, you'll see thatshe's this beautiful black
woman, kind of small frame.
She has these like light upblue eyes.
(02:52):
You know how elders have theireyes can be light sometime and
whatever you know, and she'scompletely with it.
She's feisty, she's talkativeand what made me think about
having her guest appear on ourpodcast?
(03:14):
We were in the operating roombecause she was having surgery
but her hand was numb, so shewas awake and talking right.
And boy did she talk and talkand talk and she told me some
stories that were just so lovelyand wonderful and, like whoa,
I'm not going to give too muchof a personal story because
(03:36):
she's going to tell you in herway.
But what struck me was that shesaid you know, I have my best
friends, I'm best friends.
There's six of us.
She's 82 years old.
She says there's six of us.
We were all best friends fromhigh school.
Wow, I said what.
(03:57):
That's very rare, because ournearly 50-year old high school
initiated friendship is rare.
Here this woman has what a 70,about 65 year, you know,
friendship with this sick circleof six.
(04:18):
And she says and I think herfriend is Bernadette, who may
also appear she says, and youknow, bernadette just bought
herself a pair of skinny leatherjeans.
I'm like she must be on thispodcast.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Must be on the podcast.
Yeah, so definitely.
I know I want to be her when Igrow up, so that's kind of how
we decided to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Here's a woman who seems to be very happy in her
life and with her relationshipsand has maintained friendships
over the years, which is really,really special and important.
What happens with a lot ofelders that I see you know?
They become lonely in theirolder age.
(05:11):
I know Nana Ruby used to saythis because so many of her
friends are gone now.
And it's not.
A lot of older people makeintergenerational friendships
and maintain those friendshipsother than with family members,
but it's rare to have them, youknow, very close to a neighbor
(05:34):
who might be a generationyounger or something like that.
And then so when they'reclose-knit, community of friends
, their own cohorts, when theypass away as elders, you know
they're left lonely, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
So I see that.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
So, and just in thinking about her and looking
at her, I'm like man, that'swhat I want.
She's cognitively intact, she'sfunny, she's witty, she laughs
a lot, laughs at herself, andI'm like you know, that's what I
want to be, that's what I wantto be.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So that's where it began, that's where it began,
but you guys will meet her soon.
Yeah, I'm looking forward tothat, and so you know, there's
definitely some of the thingsthat you mentioned about her.
When I think about my futureself, remember when I had us
work on I don't know if you everdid it, I did it, but it's
(06:33):
probably like one of my, one ofmy notebooks back.
It's probably not in this one.
The question was to write aletter to your future self.
I didn't do it.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I know, you know it, I know that doesn't feel like
shit, Ange.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I ain't got time for that.
Write a letter to your super.
Listen.
I'm saving lives.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Any distraction from going inward.
Leslie will take it.
She will pay money to not godeep can I make a donation?
yes, so the idea of it was towrite a letter to your future
(07:26):
self and talk about things likewhat is it that you are so happy
that you are living eitherpersonally kind of your own life
, or in relationship with others, or or place where you, where
(07:49):
are you?
Now that you're, you can writea letter to your, to your.
It is not a letter to yourfuture self.
Let me make that correction,Okay.
It is a letter at the stage ofyour future self.
Let me make that correction.
It is a letter at the stage ofyour future self.
So let's say, 10 years in thefuture, you're writing a letter
(08:13):
to your current self.
So your future self is writinga letter to your current self to
thank you for whatever, or tohelp.
Or to not necessarily, becauseyou may, as you think about your
future self, you may recognizethat there are certain things
(08:33):
that you were not prepared to do, that you are living the
consequences of in your future.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Why didn't you take that left when you needed to
take?
You know when you went right.
Instead, I told you, didn't youtake that left in the fork of
the road when you needed to take.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
You know when you went right.
Instead, I told you didn't youhear me?
Or if you?
If you know now that you willnever give up eating pork, you
will eat pork and whatever else.
That's not good for you and youknow that your future self is
going to be Clutching your heart.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
You know, down the left side, left sided jaw.
I don't mean to laugh at that.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I don't mean to laugh at that.
I just mean that there may besome things that you're, you're,
you're, you're, you've dug yourheels in and you're like, no,
not doing that, that you areaware that your future self, you
(09:37):
know um would be writing to yousaying you know, come on now
you'd have to do me like this,so anyway.
So if I were to write thisletter, it sounds like some of
the ways that your patient wouldbe experiencing, because I
absolutely want to have thefriend group that I currently
(09:59):
have.
I've done most of the cullingand the curating of my friends.
I've done that over the lastcouple of years, last year in
particular so now I want to keepall the ones that I have and I
can imagine because most of themare from high school, I can
imagine having friends that havebeen, you know, in my circle
(10:24):
for that many years.
I can definitely see that.
I definitely see myself livingabroad and you know, we've we.
Most of you already know thatLeslie and I have plans to move
abroad and I'll probably do it alittle bit before her, but she
(10:48):
will be on my heels.
So that is something thatabsolutely I want to see in my
future.
Something that I you know itdoesn't come easy for me is
managing my finances oh yeah, bythe way, that's another person.
Easy for me is managing myfinances.
Oh yeah, by the way that'sanother person that we're going
(11:08):
to have on we're going to havemy, my money coach is going to
be on, probably towards the endof this season, maybe into next
season.
She's going to be in an episodewhere we're going to be.
We're going to be interviewingher soon, but I don't think
(11:29):
she's going to actually be outuntil next season.
But anyway and that is someonewho I decided listen when I talk
about joy, I'm going to talkabout it again.
It doesn't mean that you'rejust tiptoeing through the
tulips.
You got to take care of whatyou got to take care of.
If there are things in yourlife that is causing your joy to
(11:52):
not be there, what are yougoing to do?
So someone recommended a moneycoach, someone who is helping
you to manage the money that youhave.
This is not a financial advisor, that type of thing.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
What's the difference ?
We'll talk about it more, justbriefly, yeah, just briefly and
then, when she comes on, we cantalk about what it is that she
does and why she's so helpful.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Right.
So she has helped me to takecare of those financial things
that I have been avoiding.
So, there's some psychologicalcomponent.
Why has it got to be apsychological?
Can I just be avoiding it?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I didn't get to it.
That has nothing to do withpsychology.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I didn't get to it.
Okay, yeah, she helped me to.
We don't talk about it in termsof budget, but I guess that
would be the way that mostpeople would understand it.
I'm planning to move abroad.
What do I have to put in order?
You know, you guys heard metalk about the fact that I have,
(12:59):
I'm going to be taking on acertain number of clients.
No more, no less.
That was something that cameout of my um money coach work,
because I understood my moneyreally well and I could say,
because I do kind of want to gointo semi-retirement, I want to
(13:21):
cut down my client list to this,because that's the number that
I want to achieve and so it'swork like that and of course it
is budgeting, but it's reallykind of being more present with
the money that you have.
It's less about making money,but being a better steward of
the money that you have.
(13:43):
And that's one of the thingsthat, despite me not liking this
stuff at all not my jam Irealized that it's something
that my future self, my joy,insists that I take care of,
Take care of now.
Yeah, and so she wasrecommended to me, so I did that
(14:05):
.
So in my future that will bemore in place, right Because
it's something that I'm takingcare of more now.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, I feel you will .
That kind of reminds me I thinkmy right earpiece went out.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Oh OK.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I guess that's what I get for paying $5.99 for them,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I got my money where?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
they don't owe me anything.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
It's done.
It's $5.99.
It's done.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But then too I am wearing my meta glasses.
You know, I can just talk andlisten through the glasses.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Listen listen For our Patreon subscribers out there.
You may have seen by now weuploaded a new one Leslie
talking about her damn.
Anyway, let's move on.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Anyway so what we talked about in previous
sessions is about health 2.0,this concept of what kind of
things you need to set up today.
When I retire, I want to travel, or this or whatever.
So they spend so much of theirwork and life preparing
(15:20):
financially for retirement sothat when they hit this, that
number, you know they're ready.
But it takes more than that.
You and I already talked aboutthe importance of cultivating
and maintaining friendshipsacross different generations,
because when you're retired, youmay want to travel with someone
or you know whatever.
(15:41):
But the other thing I've beentraveling a lot lately, as have
you.
Walking through the airport isstrenuous.
It's a whole thing.
It's just a whole thing.
I'm flying out tomorrow.
(16:04):
The whole thing about youpacking and carrying and getting
to the airport, changing gates,walking.
You have to lift that bag thatyou overpacked over your head
into the overhead bin, then youbend down and sit down, and then
you got to.
You know, keep yourself movingto avoid, you know, sitting in
someone's lap Venous stasis orblood clots.
But so what I'm saying is ittakes a certain level of fitness
(16:27):
.
So what I would say in 15 yearsfrom now is thank you, Les, for
starting working with a trainertwo days a week.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Because not if I fall Older people, we lose balance,
we lose what we callproprioception.
We're not sure where we are inspace and what have you.
So when I fall, I want to beable to pick myself up, and in
order to pick myself up, I needa certain amount of lower body
strength, I need goodproprioception, I need good
(17:01):
vision, I need to have my mind,you know.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You need to know how to put your arms so that you
don't break anything To fallright, all those things.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
And that starts now at 63, in preparation for 73 and
83.
So maintaining a level offitness, and I don't want to
start when the horse has beenout the barn already.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I want to start now, right the horse ain't out the
barn, les.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That's just how long it's going to take me to build
up.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Les Wait hold on, wait look at that.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
What is that definition?
What?
Yeah, so, ange, twice a week,5am, you will find me with my
trainer going through the.
I'm like, uh, she's like.
I like that.
I like to see that she's like.
But why like I like that?
I like to see that.
(17:56):
Why are you making that face?
I like to see that she tells meI'm her favorite.
I'm like.
I know you say that to everyclient.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Don't make me go talk to your other clients about you
.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
But yeah, it's really , it's a commitment I made.
That it's a commitment I made.
That is not necessarily for now, because, as much as I would
love to lose the 20 pounds thatI gained this year, oh, you
gained 22?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
20 also.
Yes, me too.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Something else we have in common.
I'm not thinking about theweight loss.
I'm really thinking aboutgetting stronger and being able
to move myself in the ways thatI want to, and I do want to
travel.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
You know, I do want to be independent, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
So I think that's one of the things that I can think
about.
And then, too, I also thinkthat our maintaining the
relationships, not just withfriends, but with family members
, and all of that.
I recently went to Atlanta tovisit my grandmother, who is
elderly, as you can imagine, andlives out there.
I've been saying for months,grandma, I'm coming to see you,
(19:08):
grandma, I'm coming to see you,and I had off one weekend and
I'm like I will be on a flightto Atlanta tomorrow and spend
the weekend.
We had the best time.
She cooked for me, we drovearound.
She's in her upper eighties andshe drove me around and I was
like, is she okay to drive?
But she was.
(19:28):
She's quite fine, you know.
But you know.
So she seems also to be livingher best life, living alone and
doing different things.
And not just that, she stillhas hopes and ideas about what
she wants to do, wow, yeah, thatreminds me too of my uncle, who
(19:53):
is in his upper 80s as well,and he goes into work.
He's an accountant, he goesinto work every day, wow, and
you know he doesn't want to stopworking.
He talks to me about hisclients and this and that and
these are the things I mean bothof these elders are very sharp,
you know, and physically fit.
(20:16):
So they've maintained themselvesover the years.
You know.
So many people raced toretirement so that they can do
what they can, rest Right,because they've given all their
good years and their goodphysical bodies to their work
lives.
So 45 years later, 40 yearslater, they go into retirement
(20:38):
exhausted and beaten up, justmaking it under the door and
beaten it up, beaten up.
So I don't want to be thatperson, you know which is why
I'm planning to you know, stopworking full time soon.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah.
You know yeah for sure, yeah,and that's why you really can
put boundaries.
And again I'll say that youknow, this isn't about getting
everything perfect.
We don't have everythingperfect.
We're not.
You know, everything isn't theway that you know we would want
(21:16):
it to be, but we do have anawareness around these things
and we try to get better andbetter and better at putting
into place these things.
I desperately need to, because Iknow that experience and I
(21:47):
could probably get to where Iwant to get to without having a
trainer, because I have a gymright over there a few steps
away, and so I really do need tomake those commitments and I
want to start doing.
There's a series of exercises.
You guys can find the stuff onYouTube.
That's where I found it.
I'll put a link to the one thatI use, or I used to use, want
(22:09):
to really get back, and that isa series of exercises that helps
with your lymphatic system.
Oh, I remember that, yeah, andit's nothing strenuous but it
gets you know.
If you think, leslie, can yousay a little bit about what the
lymphatic system does?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
No, it's no, I can't, Please.
Why would I know about this?
No, it's actually one of yourbodily systems, just like your
respiratory system, just likeyour digestive system, that type
of thing.
Right, and it actually.
It carries what they call lymphfluid.
(22:46):
But the lymphatic system isvery important in immunity and
in allergens, and you've heardof antibodies and reactions to
allergic reactions.
It becomes a big issue whenpeople have what they call
(23:08):
lymphedema, you've seen, or theycall it elephantiasis or
whatever, when people have verylarge limbs or low extremities
or what have you, and that's afaulty, a problem with the
lymphatic system, where it's notdraining properly and it's
pooling and creating problemsfor folks.
(23:29):
So lymphatic drainage, they say,is important, as you were
telling me, because you know bydoing those exercises you have
lymph nodes, all over your body.
You know, a doctor may when youget sick they may you know,
feel here or feel under yourarms.
There's prominent ones.
In your groin there's some.
Behind your neck there's allthese lymph nodes that may
(23:50):
become activated or inflamed orswollen when there may be an
infection or some problem thatit's trying to fight against you
know with the lymph nodes orthe lymphatic system.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Great.
Thank you for that.
It's so good to have a doctorin the house.
So this series of exercises,kind of it's a series of tapping
Some of them are swinging, butyou're pretty the systems, how
(24:39):
blood flows through the body,and so on.
We are machines, we are thesemachines, and there are things
that work.
There are joints that work ornot, there are flows that work
or not, and so when you kind ofthink about this lymphatic
(25:03):
system and it's moving thingsthrough your body, that's what
kind of gets me engaged with it,because, okay, some of it may
seem silly but I know that it ishelping the liquids to move
through my body in the right way.
So, anyway, enough about that.
That is something that Idefinitely want to get back
because I know my future selfwill be grateful.
(25:25):
When I was in New York a fewweeks ago, my partner and I
moved, walked from 20, wherewere we Les?
In Little Italy, from LittleItaly to 37th Street.
(25:46):
That's about two miles Eastside, west side, fifth Avenue.
So neither.
And we didn't plan it, I didn'thave on the best shoes for it,
but we couldn't stop.
It was a beautiful night.
We couldn't stop.
(26:07):
We just kept going, kept going,but it created some swelling in
my feet.
It was both of them, and nowit's just one of them, and that
like makes me come on.
When I was in Panama, I hadsome swelling in my feet.
So I really feel like you know,angela, you got to listen to
this body that God gifted youwith and you're not taking care
(26:31):
of it.
So, yeah, we got to my futureself.
I would like my future self tothank me for doing these
lymphatic exercises so that Ican not have these issues with
swollenness as I get older.
(26:51):
But I'm going to pivot a littlebit before we run out of time.
I want to talk about how youfeel now, at 60 to 63, that your
younger self can look at younow, because you are now the
(27:14):
future self of your younger self.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Okay, starting to get a little.
But okay, go ahead, get alittle woo, woo, woo.
You know I'm not a woo woo.
Make it plain.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
You are now the future self of your younger self
, and so what are?
Just give me one, maybe twothings that your future self now
is writing to your younger selfto say thank you for.
Oh we didn't plan this, guys,so you gotta give her a minute.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
How about you go first?
Speaker 2 (27:56):
One of those things is that I'm so grateful that you
, you, you didn't shy away fromgetting to know Leslie, that you
(28:21):
could see that she was just asgeeky as you were, despite the
lipstick, despite the, you know,having the, the, the, the
attention of upperclassmen.
I'm so grateful that I saw youmore deeply than how a typical
(28:46):
teenager would make judgmentsand that our friendship has
lasted all these years.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Wow, that's very sweet, so I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Do you want to go before I say my second one?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, mine was similar to that, but not as
specific as you were.
I'm happy about maintaining thefriendships that are so and
relationships that are soimportant to me now and they
really feed me now.
You know, I have been fortunateto have been supported all of
(29:24):
my life by loved ones, friends,family members and all, and one
of the reasons that I'm just sograteful because I know that the
person that I am today is anamalgam of all of these people
who have sacrificed and prayedfor me and been there for me and
(29:46):
all.
So I'm really glad that, even asa young person, I was able to
appreciate the importance ofconnection in that way and it's
sustained me for where I amright now.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Right, right, okay, I'll think of one more, and I'm
grateful, younger self, that you.
This is quickly becoming veryemotional.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I can see that.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I'm grateful that you believed in yourself, that you
(31:23):
trusted your brilliance, thatyou stayed in school, even
though it was really hard to getthrough Penn, feeling really
isolated at times and beingaround really wealthy people who
had very different experiencesthan you did.
I'm so grateful that you stayedand had the tenacity to keep
pushing forward, and I'mgrateful that you asked for the
help that you needed and yeah,that's good.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
That's good, mm-hmm, that I have this what I call
(32:20):
unusual way of looking at pastromantic relationships, such
that the relationships that I'vebeen in in the past, I've left
those relationships without everhating anyone, even if they
were bad.
I haven't had too many badrelationships.
But what I'm saying is thatI've always appreciated that
there's a time for everything,that everything happens in its
time and there are some thingsthat it's not the right time for
it.
Right, right.
So when I've left priorromantic relationships over the
(32:41):
years, I've never left withenemies.
You know it has never made meinto a bitter person who was
afraid to encounter to get intoanother relationship.
You know I did not close myheart to future romance or love
(33:06):
or whatever.
Even after you know my recentdivorce and you know, being in a
long-term relationship with myprior husband, I'm grateful that
I kind of, in my opinion, sawthings in the right way and put
things in the right perspectiveand didn't go crazy about, you
(33:26):
know, like with bitterness andunforgiveness and things like
that.
I don't recall any really badbreakups, you know, or I
certainly haven't held on tothem.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
And.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I think that that has informed how I move in the
world in a new relationship andnew relationships going forward,
let's say, you know, without alot of that fear and that
bitterness that sometimes cansabotage a new relationship and
bring so much baggage in.
I don't think that I have that,yeah.
(34:02):
So I thank you, liz, for nottaking things too personally.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Good job, liz.
Look at you going deep, soproud of you.
Look at me.
Look at me, all right.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
I think that's a wrap .
Wow, yeah, yeah, oh, I can'twait till you meet this lady.
She is just such a delight.
I'm excited, excited.
You know I have the privilegeof having patients.
Sometimes, like I told you, Ihad a patient who went to tech,
(34:39):
so the surgeon and the staff inthe room, we're everywhere in
all different countries andwhatever, but he and I were
talking so excitedly I didn'twant to, I delayed putting him
to sleep and everybody is aroundme like they're kind of waiting
, scrubbed, and they're likelooking at me and I'm like wait.
(34:59):
But do you remember, mrcarapresso from technical
drawing and what?
About and this and that, and wewere just going on and laughing
, and this, and that he sayswait till my wife, he meets you.
You know, whatever he he was,uh, like five or six years
younger than us, but I don'tremember why I brought that up.
(35:20):
Oh, but I think I was justappreciating my patients, and
you know what they do for me, soI guess I'm never leaving work.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
You're never leaving work and you know what you love
it.
You love it way too much.
You're never leaving.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I really do Speak the truth.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Wow, speak the truth.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Well, alright, alright.
This has been another cool,cool episode of Black Boomer
Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.
That was fun, alright.
Hey Ang hey, les what's cooking.
Good looking.
Listen.
This is my green day Listen youknow me in green.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You look marvelous in my green, oh you look marvelous
in my black.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
So welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties
from Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm Angella and that's Leslie, my best friend of
almost 50 years.
We are two free-thinking60-something-year-old Black
women who have decided to bemore bold and joyful in our
lives, and we started thispodcast so that we could share
some of that with you andhopefully encourage you to come
(00:48):
along with us, not on ourjourney, but to have your own
joy journey, your own bold joyjourney.
So today we're going to betalking about our future selves,
both from where we are now andwhat we hope our future selves
(01:11):
will be, and some of the thingsthat we might have hoped for
when we were younger, andwhether we have met those
expectations in our current age.
So that's where we're takingyou today, but Leslie's got an
ask for you.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So I'd love for you to click like and subscribe.
We bring really good contentand it's kind of funny, it's
provocative, it's poignant, it'scerebral, all the things, but
it really it comes from theheart and we deliver it to you
about once a week.
So hit like and subscribe, tellyour friends about us, sign up
(01:48):
for notifications so that youknow when we drop new content.
I'd appreciate it, she'dappreciate it, and we heart you.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
We heart, you, we heart you, thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Okay, so Leslie had a patient.
A patient.
Ok, so Leslie had A patient, apatient, and I haven't heard
this.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yet she said and you won't believe it I called you up
from the place when the ladywas in the recovery room with
her permission.
Yes, she's actually going to bea guest on our podcast.
Yeah, she said, I don't knownothing about podcasts, I don't
listen to podcasts, I said.
I said maybe your son can helpyou, or my grandson, you know
I'm like okay, she needs theother generation.
(02:31):
So I had the occasion to meetan 82-year-old patient and when
you all see her, you'll see thatshe's this beautiful black
woman, kind of small frame.
She has these like light upblue eyes.
(02:52):
You know how elders have theireyes can be light sometime and
whatever you know, and she'scompletely with it.
She's feisty, she's talkativeand what made me think about
having her guest appear on ourpodcast?
(03:14):
We were in the operating roombecause she was having surgery
but her hand was numb, so shewas awake and talking right.
And boy did she talk and talkand talk and she told me some
stories that were just so lovelyand wonderful and, like whoa,
I'm not going to give too muchof a personal story because
(03:36):
she's going to tell you in herway.
But what struck me was that shesaid you know, I have my best
friends, I'm best friends.
There's six of us.
She's 82 years old.
She says there's six of us.
We were all best friends fromhigh school.
Wow, I said what.
(03:57):
That's very rare, because ournearly 50-year old high school
initiated friendship is rare.
Here this woman has what a 70,about 65 year, you know,
friendship with this sick circleof six.
(04:18):
And she says and I think herfriend is Bernadette, who may
also appear she says, and youknow, bernadette just bought
herself a pair of skinny leatherjeans.
I'm like she must be on thispodcast.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Must be on the podcast.
Yeah, so definitely.
I know I want to be her when Igrow up, so that's kind of how
we decided to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Here's a woman who seems to be very happy in her
life and with her relationshipsand has maintained friendships
over the years, which is really,really special and important.
What happens with a lot ofelders that I see you know?
They become lonely in theirolder age.
(05:11):
I know Nana Ruby used to saythis because so many of her
friends are gone now.
And it's not.
A lot of older people makeintergenerational friendships
and maintain those friendshipsother than with family members,
but it's rare to have them, youknow, very close to a neighbor
(05:34):
who might be a generationyounger or something like that.
And then so when they'reclose-knit, community of friends
, their own cohorts, when theypass away as elders, you know
they're left lonely, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
So I see that.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
So, and just in thinking about her and looking
at her, I'm like man, that'swhat I want.
She's cognitively intact, she'sfunny, she's witty, she laughs
a lot, laughs at herself, andI'm like you know, that's what I
want to be, that's what I wantto be.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So that's where it began, that's where it began,
but you guys will meet her soon.
Yeah, I'm looking forward tothat, and so you know, there's
definitely some of the thingsthat you mentioned about her.
When I think about my futureself, remember when I had us
work on I don't know if you everdid it, I did it, but it's
(06:33):
probably like one of my, one ofmy notebooks back.
It's probably not in this one.
The question was to write aletter to your future self.
I didn't do it.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I know, you know it, I know that doesn't feel like
shit, Ange.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I ain't got time for that.
Write a letter to your super.
Listen.
I'm saving lives.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Any distraction from going inward.
Leslie will take it.
She will pay money to not godeep can I make a donation?
yes, so the idea of it was towrite a letter to your future
(07:26):
self and talk about things likewhat is it that you are so happy
that you are living eitherpersonally kind of your own life
, or in relationship with others, or or place where you, where
(07:49):
are you?
Now that you're, you can writea letter to your, to your.
It is not a letter to yourfuture self.
Let me make that correction,Okay.
It is a letter at the stage ofyour future self.
Let me make that correction.
It is a letter at the stage ofyour future self.
So let's say, 10 years in thefuture, you're writing a letter
(08:13):
to your current self.
So your future self is writinga letter to your current self to
thank you for whatever, or tohelp.
Or to not necessarily, becauseyou may, as you think about your
future self, you may recognizethat there are certain things
(08:33):
that you were not prepared to do, that you are living the
consequences of in your future.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Why didn't you take that left when you needed to
take?
You know when you went right.
Instead, I told you, didn't youtake that left in the fork of
the road when you needed to take.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
You know when you went right.
Instead, I told you didn't youhear me?
Or if you?
If you know now that you willnever give up eating pork, you
will eat pork and whatever else.
That's not good for you and youknow that your future self is
going to be Clutching your heart.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
You know, down the left side, left sided jaw.
I don't mean to laugh at that.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I don't mean to laugh at that.
I just mean that there may besome things that you're, you're,
you're, you're, you've dug yourheels in and you're like, no,
not doing that, that you areaware that your future self, you
(09:37):
know um would be writing to yousaying you know, come on now
you'd have to do me like this,so anyway.
So if I were to write thisletter, it sounds like some of
the ways that your patient wouldbe experiencing, because I
absolutely want to have thefriend group that I currently
(09:59):
have.
I've done most of the cullingand the curating of my friends.
I've done that over the lastcouple of years, last year in
particular so now I want to keepall the ones that I have and I
can imagine because most of themare from high school, I can
imagine having friends that havebeen, you know, in my circle
(10:24):
for that many years.
I can definitely see that.
I definitely see myself livingabroad and you know, we've we.
Most of you already know thatLeslie and I have plans to move
abroad and I'll probably do it alittle bit before her, but she
(10:48):
will be on my heels.
So that is something thatabsolutely I want to see in my
future.
Something that I you know itdoesn't come easy for me is
managing my finances oh yeah, bythe way, that's another person.
Easy for me is managing myfinances.
Oh yeah, by the way that'sanother person that we're going
(11:08):
to have on we're going to havemy, my money coach is going to
be on, probably towards the endof this season, maybe into next
season.
She's going to be in an episodewhere we're going to be.
We're going to be interviewingher soon, but I don't think
(11:29):
she's going to actually be outuntil next season.
But anyway and that is someonewho I decided listen when I talk
about joy, I'm going to talkabout it again.
It doesn't mean that you'rejust tiptoeing through the
tulips.
You got to take care of whatyou got to take care of.
If there are things in yourlife that is causing your joy to
(11:52):
not be there, what are yougoing to do?
So someone recommended a moneycoach, someone who is helping
you to manage the money that youhave.
This is not a financial advisor, that type of thing.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
What's the difference ?
We'll talk about it more, justbriefly, yeah, just briefly and
then, when she comes on, we cantalk about what it is that she
does and why she's so helpful.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Right.
So she has helped me to takecare of those financial things
that I have been avoiding.
So, there's some psychologicalcomponent.
Why has it got to be apsychological?
Can I just be avoiding it?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I didn't get to it.
That has nothing to do withpsychology.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I didn't get to it.
Okay, yeah, she helped me to.
We don't talk about it in termsof budget, but I guess that
would be the way that mostpeople would understand it.
I'm planning to move abroad.
What do I have to put in order?
You know, you guys heard metalk about the fact that I have,
(12:59):
I'm going to be taking on acertain number of clients.
No more, no less.
That was something that cameout of my um money coach work,
because I understood my moneyreally well and I could say,
because I do kind of want to gointo semi-retirement, I want to
(13:21):
cut down my client list to this,because that's the number that
I want to achieve and so it'swork like that and of course it
is budgeting, but it's reallykind of being more present with
the money that you have.
It's less about making money,but being a better steward of
the money that you have.
(13:43):
And that's one of the thingsthat, despite me not liking this
stuff at all not my jam Irealized that it's something
that my future self, my joy,insists that I take care of,
Take care of now.
Yeah, and so she wasrecommended to me, so I did that
(14:05):
.
So in my future that will bemore in place, right Because
it's something that I'm takingcare of more now.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, I feel you will .
That kind of reminds me I thinkmy right earpiece went out.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Oh OK.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I guess that's what I get for paying $5.99 for them,
I guess.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I got my money where?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
they don't owe me anything.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
It's done.
It's $5.99.
It's done.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But then too I am wearing my meta glasses.
You know, I can just talk andlisten through the glasses.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Listen listen For our Patreon subscribers out there.
You may have seen by now weuploaded a new one Leslie
talking about her damn.
Anyway, let's move on.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Anyway so what we talked about in previous
sessions is about health 2.0,this concept of what kind of
things you need to set up today.
When I retire, I want to travel, or this or whatever.
So they spend so much of theirwork and life preparing
(15:20):
financially for retirement sothat when they hit this, that
number, you know they're ready.
But it takes more than that.
You and I already talked aboutthe importance of cultivating
and maintaining friendshipsacross different generations,
because when you're retired, youmay want to travel with someone
or you know whatever.
(15:41):
But the other thing I've beentraveling a lot lately, as have
you.
Walking through the airport isstrenuous.
It's a whole thing.
It's just a whole thing.
I'm flying out tomorrow.
(16:04):
The whole thing about youpacking and carrying and getting
to the airport, changing gates,walking.
You have to lift that bag thatyou overpacked over your head
into the overhead bin, then youbend down and sit down, and then
you got to.
You know, keep yourself movingto avoid, you know, sitting in
someone's lap Venous stasis orblood clots.
But so what I'm saying is ittakes a certain level of fitness
(16:27):
.
So what I would say in 15 yearsfrom now is thank you, Les, for
starting working with a trainertwo days a week.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Because not if I fall Older people, we lose balance,
we lose what we callproprioception.
We're not sure where we are inspace and what have you.
So when I fall, I want to beable to pick myself up, and in
order to pick myself up, I needa certain amount of lower body
strength, I need goodproprioception, I need good
(17:01):
vision, I need to have my mind,you know.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You need to know how to put your arms so that you
don't break anything To fallright, all those things.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
And that starts now at 63, in preparation for 73 and
83.
So maintaining a level offitness, and I don't want to
start when the horse has beenout the barn already.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I want to start now, right the horse ain't out the
barn, les.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
That's just how long it's going to take me to build
up.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Les Wait hold on, wait look at that.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
What is that definition?
What?
Yeah, so, ange, twice a week,5am, you will find me with my
trainer going through the.
I'm like, uh, she's like.
I like that.
I like to see that she's like.
But why like I like that?
I like to see that.
(17:56):
Why are you making that face?
I like to see that she tells meI'm her favorite.
I'm like.
I know you say that to everyclient.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Don't make me go talk to your other clients about you
.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
But yeah, it's really , it's a commitment I made.
That it's a commitment I made.
That is not necessarily for now, because, as much as I would
love to lose the 20 pounds thatI gained this year, oh, you
gained 22?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
20 also.
Yes, me too.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Something else we have in common.
I'm not thinking about theweight loss.
I'm really thinking aboutgetting stronger and being able
to move myself in the ways thatI want to, and I do want to
travel.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
You know, I do want to be independent, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
So I think that's one of the things that I can think
about.
And then, too, I also thinkthat our maintaining the
relationships, not just withfriends, but with family members
, and all of that.
I recently went to Atlanta tovisit my grandmother, who is
elderly, as you can imagine, andlives out there.
I've been saying for months,grandma, I'm coming to see you,
(19:08):
grandma, I'm coming to see you,and I had off one weekend and
I'm like I will be on a flightto Atlanta tomorrow and spend
the weekend.
We had the best time.
She cooked for me, we drovearound.
She's in her upper eighties andshe drove me around and I was
like, is she okay to drive?
But she was.
(19:28):
She's quite fine, you know.
But you know.
So she seems also to be livingher best life, living alone and
doing different things.
And not just that, she stillhas hopes and ideas about what
she wants to do, wow, yeah, thatreminds me too of my uncle, who
(19:53):
is in his upper 80s as well,and he goes into work.
He's an accountant, he goesinto work every day, wow, and
you know he doesn't want to stopworking.
He talks to me about hisclients and this and that and
these are the things I mean bothof these elders are very sharp,
you know, and physically fit.
(20:16):
So they've maintained themselvesover the years.
You know.
So many people raced toretirement so that they can do
what they can, rest Right,because they've given all their
good years and their goodphysical bodies to their work
lives.
So 45 years later, 40 yearslater, they go into retirement
(20:38):
exhausted and beaten up, justmaking it under the door and
beaten it up, beaten up.
So I don't want to be thatperson, you know which is why
I'm planning to you know, stopworking full time soon.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah.
You know yeah for sure, yeah,and that's why you really can
put boundaries.
And again I'll say that youknow, this isn't about getting
everything perfect.
We don't have everythingperfect.
We're not.
You know, everything isn't theway that you know we would want
(21:16):
it to be, but we do have anawareness around these things
and we try to get better andbetter and better at putting
into place these things.
I desperately need to, because Iknow that experience and I
(21:47):
could probably get to where Iwant to get to without having a
trainer, because I have a gymright over there a few steps
away, and so I really do need tomake those commitments and I
want to start doing.
There's a series of exercises.
You guys can find the stuff onYouTube.
That's where I found it.
I'll put a link to the one thatI use, or I used to use, want
(22:09):
to really get back, and that isa series of exercises that helps
with your lymphatic system.
Oh, I remember that, yeah, andit's nothing strenuous but it
gets you know.
If you think, leslie, can yousay a little bit about what the
lymphatic system does?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
No, it's no, I can't, Please.
Why would I know about this?
No, it's actually one of yourbodily systems, just like your
respiratory system, just likeyour digestive system, that type
of thing.
Right, and it actually.
It carries what they call lymphfluid.
(22:46):
But the lymphatic system isvery important in immunity and
in allergens, and you've heardof antibodies and reactions to
allergic reactions.
It becomes a big issue whenpeople have what they call
(23:08):
lymphedema, you've seen, or theycall it elephantiasis or
whatever, when people have verylarge limbs or low extremities
or what have you, and that's afaulty, a problem with the
lymphatic system, where it's notdraining properly and it's
pooling and creating problemsfor folks.
(23:29):
So lymphatic drainage, they say,is important, as you were
telling me, because you know bydoing those exercises you have
lymph nodes, all over your body.
You know, a doctor may when youget sick they may you know,
feel here or feel under yourarms.
There's prominent ones.
In your groin there's some.
Behind your neck there's allthese lymph nodes that may
(23:50):
become activated or inflamed orswollen when there may be an
infection or some problem thatit's trying to fight against you
know with the lymph nodes orthe lymphatic system.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Great.
Thank you for that.
It's so good to have a doctorin the house.
So this series of exercises,kind of it's a series of tapping
Some of them are swinging, butyou're pretty the systems, how
(24:39):
blood flows through the body,and so on.
We are machines, we are thesemachines, and there are things
that work.
There are joints that work ornot, there are flows that work
or not, and so when you kind ofthink about this lymphatic
(25:03):
system and it's moving thingsthrough your body, that's what
kind of gets me engaged with it,because, okay, some of it may
seem silly but I know that it ishelping the liquids to move
through my body in the right way.
So, anyway, enough about that.
That is something that Idefinitely want to get back
because I know my future selfwill be grateful.
(25:25):
When I was in New York a fewweeks ago, my partner and I
moved, walked from 20, wherewere we Les?
In Little Italy, from LittleItaly to 37th Street.
(25:46):
That's about two miles Eastside, west side, fifth Avenue.
So neither.
And we didn't plan it, I didn'thave on the best shoes for it,
but we couldn't stop.
It was a beautiful night.
We couldn't stop.
(26:07):
We just kept going, kept going,but it created some swelling in
my feet.
It was both of them, and nowit's just one of them, and that
like makes me come on.
When I was in Panama, I hadsome swelling in my feet.
So I really feel like you know,angela, you got to listen to
this body that God gifted youwith and you're not taking care
(26:31):
of it.
So, yeah, we got to my futureself.
I would like my future self tothank me for doing these
lymphatic exercises so that Ican not have these issues with
swollenness as I get older.
(26:51):
But I'm going to pivot a littlebit before we run out of time.
I want to talk about how youfeel now, at 60 to 63, that your
younger self can look at younow, because you are now the
(27:14):
future self of your younger self.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Okay, starting to get a little.
But okay, go ahead, get alittle woo, woo, woo.
You know I'm not a woo woo.
Make it plain.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
You are now the future self of your younger self
, and so what are?
Just give me one, maybe twothings that your future self now
is writing to your younger selfto say thank you for.
Oh we didn't plan this, guys,so you gotta give her a minute.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
How about you go first?
Speaker 2 (27:56):
One of those things is that I'm so grateful that you
, you, you didn't shy away fromgetting to know Leslie, that you
(28:21):
could see that she was just asgeeky as you were, despite the
lipstick, despite the, you know,having the, the, the, the
attention of upperclassmen.
I'm so grateful that I saw youmore deeply than how a typical
(28:46):
teenager would make judgmentsand that our friendship has
lasted all these years.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Wow, that's very sweet, so I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Do you want to go before I say my second one?
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, mine was similar to that, but not as
specific as you were.
I'm happy about maintaining thefriendships that are so and
relationships that are soimportant to me now and they
really feed me now.
You know, I have been fortunateto have been supported all of
(29:24):
my life by loved ones, friends,family members and all, and one
of the reasons that I'm just sograteful because I know that the
person that I am today is anamalgam of all of these people
who have sacrificed and prayedfor me and been there for me and
(29:46):
all.
So I'm really glad that, even asa young person, I was able to
appreciate the importance ofconnection in that way and it's
sustained me for where I amright now.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Right, right, okay, I'll think of one more, and I'm
grateful, younger self, that you.
This is quickly becoming veryemotional.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I can see that.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I'm grateful that you believed in yourself, that you
(31:23):
trusted your brilliance, thatyou stayed in school, even
though it was really hard to getthrough Penn, feeling really
isolated at times and beingaround really wealthy people who
had very different experiencesthan you did.
I'm so grateful that you stayedand had the tenacity to keep
pushing forward, and I'mgrateful that you asked for the
help that you needed and yeah,that's good.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
That's good, mm-hmm, that I have this what I call
(32:20):
unusual way of looking at pastromantic relationships, such
that the relationships that I'vebeen in in the past, I've left
those relationships without everhating anyone, even if they
were bad.
I haven't had too many badrelationships.
But what I'm saying is thatI've always appreciated that
there's a time for everything,that everything happens in its
time and there are some thingsthat it's not the right time for
it.
Right, right.
So when I've left priorromantic relationships over the
(32:41):
years, I've never left withenemies.
You know it has never made meinto a bitter person who was
afraid to encounter to get intoanother relationship.
You know I did not close myheart to future romance or love
(33:06):
or whatever.
Even after you know my recentdivorce and you know, being in a
long-term relationship with myprior husband, I'm grateful that
I kind of, in my opinion, sawthings in the right way and put
things in the right perspectiveand didn't go crazy about, you
(33:26):
know, like with bitterness andunforgiveness and things like
that.
I don't recall any really badbreakups, you know, or I
certainly haven't held on tothem.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
And.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I think that that has informed how I move in the
world in a new relationship andnew relationships going forward,
let's say, you know, without alot of that fear and that
bitterness that sometimes cansabotage a new relationship and
bring so much baggage in.
I don't think that I have that,yeah.
(34:02):
So I thank you, liz, for nottaking things too personally.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Good job, liz.
Look at you going deep, soproud of you.
Look at me.
Look at me, all right.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
I think that's a wrap .
Wow, yeah, yeah, oh, I can'twait till you meet this lady.
She is just such a delight.
I'm excited, excited.
You know I have the privilegeof having patients.
Sometimes, like I told you, Ihad a patient who went to tech,
(34:39):
so the surgeon and the staff inthe room, we're everywhere in
all different countries andwhatever, but he and I were
talking so excitedly I didn'twant to, I delayed putting him
to sleep and everybody is aroundme like they're kind of waiting
, scrubbed, and they're likelooking at me and I'm like wait.
(34:59):
But do you remember, mrcarapresso from technical
drawing and what?
About and this and that, and wewere just going on and laughing
, and this, and that he sayswait till my wife, he meets you.
You know, whatever he he was,uh, like five or six years
younger than us, but I don'tremember why I brought that up.
(35:20):
Oh, but I think I was justappreciating my patients, and
you know what they do for me, soI guess I'm never leaving work.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
You're never leaving work and you know what you love
it.
You love it way too much.
You're never leaving.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
I really do Speak the truth.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Wow, speak the truth.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Well, alright, alright.
This has been another cool,cool episode of Black Boomer
Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.
That was fun, alright.
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