December 23, 2025 • 28 mins
The holidays can feel like two different seasons at once: sentimental and sparkly on the surface, heavy and hectic underneath. Besties Angella and Leslie speak honestly about both and offer a way forward that doesn’t require a shopping cart—just attention, time, and a little creativity.
If you’re ready to trade obligation for intention and make celebration feel like care, this conversation will meet you where you are. Press play, build one small ritual, and let joy be the loudest thing in the room. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a gentler holiday, and leave a review to help others find us.
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https://calendly.com/rhythmwigs/more-joy-complimentary-consultation
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Get Angie’s eBook:
We’re Too Old for This! The Inquisitive Older Woman’s Guide to Joy http://joystrategy.co/ebook
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:03):
Hey Ange.
SPEAKER_02 (00:04):
Hey Bless.
How's it going?
SPEAKER_01 (00:06):
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
SPEAKER_02 (00:15):
Okay.
That is the job.
You are such a listen.
Anybody that knows me knows.
(00:37):
And we have proof.
We have proof.
We have an uh episode for Idon't know.
It must have been season three.
I don't know, but we're inseason 16 right now, where
Leslie confessed.
I don't like this time of year.
She she doesn't like this timeof year.
I wasn't always like this.
SPEAKER_01 (00:58):
I think the world here's a poem I read.
And if any of our listeners canput it in the chat or respond,
I'll find some prize to get giveyou.
But there is a poem that goes,The world is too much with her.
SPEAKER_03 (01:19):
Ooh.
Okay, splay Lucy.
I don't remember the poem.
Okay, so I can't look it up.
SPEAKER_01 (01:27):
What does it mean?
It's it's it's the season thatI'm going through right now.
It's it's a weary season.
The world is too much.
SPEAKER_02 (01:36):
I got you.
You know, it's it's a lot.
It's a lot.
Yeah, it it is a lot.
It is a lot.
And we were gonna kind of callthis episode just this, it's
it's just a season of of ofsadness and challenges.
And um it's also Christmasseason, and I am not in the boat
(02:00):
with Leslie around Christmas.
I'm not into the consumerism ofChristmas anymore, thank
goodness.
But you've emancipated yourselffrom that.
I have, yes, but I am in the inthe community and the family
aspect of of Christmas, which Iwhich I don't think you ever had
an issue with.
You just get mad 364 other days,and you you know, you can't
(02:26):
wait.
It's the funniest thing beingaround Leslie.
And we will leave a link to thepodcast that we're referring to,
the episode that we're referringto.
But where Leslie and I, shereally she was like, What is all
this Christmas stuff?
What is the music?
It's like a day into November,and it was it was our humbug and
(02:46):
the the shirt she's wearing.
Can you move your your hair alittle bit just to she's she's
she's serious about that?
She's really serious about that.
SPEAKER_01 (02:56):
We have to say, welcome to another episode of
Black Boomer Besties fromBrooklyn.
SPEAKER_02 (03:02):
I'm Angela, and that's Leslie, my best friend of
almost 50 years.
We are two free-thinking60-something-year-old black
women, and we are determined, weare living more joyful and bold
lives on purpose.
We invite you to join us on ourjourney.
More importantly, we invite youto start and or continue your
(03:26):
joy journey.
And believe it or not, we aregonna be talking about joyful
things today.
Yeah, despite the Bahamas, andI'm typically a joyful person.
Except now, just not now.
Leave me alone, leave me alone.
So, anyway, um, I do enjoy theChristmas season.
(03:51):
It's very different this yearbecause there's so much going on
that is um weighty, as we say inJamaica.
It's weighty.
And um, but I am looking forwardto spending Christmas with my
family, even um extended family.
We're all gathering and um, youknow, we're doing a secret scent
(04:16):
uh, we're planning ahead.
It's crazy how well this one isplanned.
We typically don't plan likethat.
I mean, my kind of I am more ofa let's get together.
What let's do it today.
And some members of my family,thank goodness, are let's make a
plan.
So there have been GoogleShepherd itineraries and um
(04:43):
events that we're excursionsthat we're gonna do and plans
for um for meals and things likethat.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
And one of my young nieces,actually grandniece, is is the
one who is um managing theSecret Santa.
So it's pretty exciting.
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (05:03):
Um Bui for you.
No, I'll I'll use this as anopportunity to see people that I
love.
That's true.
SPEAKER_02 (05:19):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (05:21):
Yeah.
I'll I'm not gonna go into why Idon't like the season.
I'm not trying to make thisunhappy and unpleasant and all.
It's just that the commercialismand the consumerism has just
taken over.
SPEAKER_03 (05:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:36):
And I reject it so vehemently that I rather bless
Christ, think about my family,give gifts on any other day than
December 25th.
SPEAKER_02 (05:51):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:52):
So with my own silent protest.
SPEAKER_02 (05:55):
So with that in mind, uh we do have some ideas
to share with you on things thatyou can do that are somewhere in
between Leslie and I in terms ofum in terms of um, you know not
not spending um or spending verylittle, um, still respecting the
(06:16):
the the boycotts that you aresupporting, that we are
supporting, and um being evenmore intentional in gift giving.
So we have what five or sixideas with you.
You did?
Okay, excellent.
SPEAKER_01 (06:33):
And yes, these are gifts that show people that you
care.
It's not just a cursory giftthat, oh, I found something, you
know, a stocking stuffer, right?
You know, in the aisle as you'regoing down.
But it's something that it's alittle bit, it's it's
meaningful, and people will knowthat you put a little effort or
(06:56):
thought about it.
SPEAKER_02 (06:57):
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And most of them don't requireany particular um crafty skills,
you know.
You you just have to really,guess what?
You have to think about why youlove people.
You you have to act on thatlove.
What a concept.
(07:18):
You actually have to use love asthe verb and and do something.
So do you want to start, Les?
You you start because this wasyour your idea.
SPEAKER_01 (07:27):
Yeah, so I'll start with I'll start with two gifts.
They're they're linked.
Okay.
One of the things I did oneyear, which was very effective,
I think, in showing how much Icare about people.
I not only do I cook, but Ibake.
Yes.
And I love making home-bakedgoods for people.
(07:50):
She's so good at it.
And wrapping them nicely becausethe recipient knows that you put
some time into it and to handsomeone a beautifully wrapped
cake that you made, you know, II think that's very special.
SPEAKER_02 (08:05):
Yeah.
The other thing that I did forthe the let me say on that,
that's also really good if youare visiting family or or
friends' homes.
You can take uh homemade things.
My partner is making cookies,and so you can bring some of um
the lug that you put into what'sthat?
(08:26):
Yeah, you can bring some of you.
Some of you, okay.
There we go.
Because I'm like, I'm not, Idon't, I don't get it twisted.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,wait.
Do not expect that from me.
Do not all nervous from me.
I just want to be clear.
I rebuke that idea of mecooking.
(08:48):
I will crochet you a something.
Yes, but I will not.
That would turn it into aHalloween hara.
That would be like who broughtthe potato salad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So I I am giving some of somecrochet gifts.
SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
But anyway, go ahead.
But in in in that same vein,what I did one year is I have
this famous apple cake.
And because people weren't nextclose to me and I wasn't able to
present it to them personally, Iput all of the dry ingredients
together in a really nicecontainer with the instructions
(09:29):
and what to add to it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:31):
Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:32):
And then I was able to send that.
I think I also did with theapple cake some blueberry
muffins and put um and put thatthose ingredients together, and
all they had to do was add thewet milk and eggs and whatever.
Right.
So that that was a um reallynice and presented it and sent
it in many cases.
Yeah.
So people have it when they'reready to make a cake, they just
(09:54):
have to add the the wetingredient.
I love it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:57):
Love it, love it, love it.
SPEAKER_03 (09:59):
Okay, your turn.
SPEAKER_02 (10:01):
Okay, so one that I have is a remember when we used
to make mixtapes?
SPEAKER_03 (10:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:10):
Going back to that.
Oh my gosh, that was a way ofshowing somebody that you cared,
especially like if a guy gaveyou the tape and then you would
be listening to the songs, andit's like, I wonder if he thinks
this way about me.
And it's like, nah, I just likethe song.
I just like the baby.
Calm down.
You know, was that song for me?
We sit here in our room and sithere and listen to them.
(10:31):
So, yeah, go ahead about themixtape.
SPEAKER_02 (10:33):
So, you know, you may know that they're not called
that anymore.
Okay, they're called playlists,but I think that that would be
just a sweet way of creating aplaylist playlist for different
members of your family, yeah.
Yes, you know, to share songsthat you have enjoyed in in your
kind of generation, um, and passit on to the younger generation.
(10:57):
It could be even playlists of umof speeches, it could be
playlists of podcasts, it couldbe playlists.
Oh, that's a great idea.
SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
I never thought outside of the music genre of a
playlist, but things that yourloved ones or people you care
about would like to listen to.
Inspiring things.
I know you like to listen tothings as you sleep.
SPEAKER_02 (11:20):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:21):
So it could be asleep, like that.
SPEAKER_02 (11:23):
Yeah, whatever you and it's great for people that
you don't see all the time orpeople that you kind of struggle
with.
Well, I I don't know what we'regonna talk about, you know, and
that may get in the way.
Send them a really nice podcast,and that could be something that
you talk about.
That could last for a fewconversations.
I think so.
That could last for a fewconversations.
(11:43):
Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (11:44):
Wow, that's really cool.
I um it's it's not gonna be agift, but I've put together a
playlist um for my wedding.
Oh my fiance doesn't know aboutit.
Oh, been like jotting thingsdown and putting it together and
make a playlist.
SPEAKER_02 (12:05):
Mix all the things.
You can um this is by the way,most of these things, if I
didn't mention, are no cost, lowcost.
You just have to um use love asa verb and and do the thing.
SPEAKER_03 (12:19):
And do the thing.
Okay.
You go.
SPEAKER_01 (12:24):
One of the things I've done, you mentioned it a
little bit, but I crochet.
And every year I used to make umhats for my nephews and send
them um their crocheted hats forthe year.
SPEAKER_04 (12:42):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:43):
You know?
So that's another thing.
Obviously, you have to startearly.
SPEAKER_02 (12:47):
You have to go fast.
SPEAKER_01 (12:49):
Or go in in my spare time.
But um, I'm looking at a hat Imade right now that I just wore
today.
SPEAKER_02 (12:57):
Oh handmade gifts like that are are really cool.
And you know, um, you may findsome local people, and this is
um uh this is not free, but ifyou want to do something like
that and support some localartists, you may be able to find
people in your community that umdo these types of things and you
(13:21):
can um you can support them inthat way.
And you're still showing thelove because you're not just
going on some of the big boxstores or you know, these online
places and um and supportingyour local local community.
Okay.
So another one I have is um soit's called Random Acts of
(13:44):
Kindness.
Um this came to me because mychildren um they went to a
middle school, it was a magnetmiddle school called um AB
Combs.
Um and their kind of um uhmission was around the seven
(14:06):
habits of highly effectivepeople.
And so all of all of that umStephen Covey stuff, you know,
think win-win and seek first tounderstand um before you're
understood, and all of thosethings.
And one of the things that theyum they encouraged were random
acts of kindness.
(14:26):
The way that that showed up withone of my children, I won't say
which one, was me like why isyour lunch account getting
depleted so fast?
Like, what is going on?
Oh, I I Johnny doesn't um haveenough money to get a dessert
(14:48):
every day, so we sit togetherand I buy the dessert and we
both so that it's a random actof kindness, mom.
You can't argue with that.
So I you know it's add a littleextra to the account.
Just add a little extra to theaccount.
So that might be something thatum as a gift, you write down
(15:12):
things, maybe 12 things, one foreach month, that would make the
other person like, you know,this isn't about you.
You get the joy of giving, butit is what the other person may
want.
Um, and then they get a stack of12 things that could be
beautifully wrapped, too.
(15:33):
And they get to turn one in oncea month.
Um, and so it could be, youknow, whatever it is.
It could be things like, youknow, cooking your special
dinner, or it could be umwhatever you think they they
they like, um, giving them a umand it's uh it's showing that
(15:54):
you know them, that you seethem, and that you're willing to
spend some time doing thinkingabout it and putting it
together.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So 12 random acts of kindness,12 monthly random act of
kindness.
And that could be like on cards,or you can just get card stock
or listen, don't make itcomplicated.
(16:15):
Because then card stock issomething then you don't do it.
Cardstock is something that Ikeep around.
You don't have cardstock, don'tworry about it.
Do it on um index cards, oryeah, that kind of stuff.
I save stuff so I mean listen, Iused to save the inserts in um,
you know, like socks or um uhright the cardboard deck.
(16:37):
The cardboard that's rectangularbecause they're perfectly and
you save them, but then you getto do things like that.
But that's me.
That's me.
SPEAKER_01 (16:44):
You know what else I could think about with that
rectangular cardboard?
Yeah.
Bookmarks.
How often am I reading a bookand what do I have to put in it?
A crumpled up piece of paper.
You know, bookmarks are alwaysgreat.
What I've done in the past formyself, not a gift, but it would
(17:04):
be perfect.
Yeah, I've seen in somemagazines some beautiful
pictures or whatever, and I'velaminated them and made
bookmarks.
SPEAKER_02 (17:11):
Ah, that's so smart.
SPEAKER_01 (17:14):
Yes, that's so smart.
SPEAKER_02 (17:16):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
So that's an idea for a bibliophile.
SPEAKER_02 (17:20):
That's right.
A lot of things you can do.
Listen, your printer can do morethan eight and a half by eleven.
You just have to write there'sthat little slidey thing.
It's it's for you to havedifferent paper sizes.
Check it out, super easy.
SPEAKER_01 (17:37):
And I laminated it, yep, and cut it, and there's a
beautiful bookmark for someonethat is very uh low cost.
One of the one of my favoritethings that someone did for me,
my fiance actually did it forme.
Just because, not a gift, butthis is this would be a perfect
gift.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
He cleaned and detailed my car.
It took him like five hours.
I mean, paint, I mean, the carlooked like it was so beautiful.
SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
And and he I know he did it because he's like, it's
filthy, I'm not getting in it.
That wasn't the spirit, quitethe spirit that I'm talking
about.
I'd like to think he did itbecause he loved me.
Let's let's say that.
How about both?
(18:34):
So no, but that's it.
He's a type he washes his car.
Why?
Because I haven't washed it in acouple days.
Ooh, that's a keeper rightthere.
Oh blah.
That's that's a keeper.
Yeah, that's a keeper.
So something like that, an actof service for someone, is
really, really special.
(18:54):
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02 (18:55):
And these things last, like every time you get
it.
The idea of it lasts, yes, it'slike, ooh, and you kind of feel
like you're better thaneverybody else.
Yeah.
Like, because I'm getting in aclean car.
It's like so that's a reallygood one.
I love that.
Okay, is it your turn or is itmy turn?
I think it's yours.
(19:16):
I had another one, but I forgotit.
Okay, so this these these twoare similar.
It's um uh a jar where you putin um little notes.
They can be the same color,different colors.
That could be really cute.
Um and start with because youand fill it and fill it in.
(19:44):
Um so it's a be it's a becauseyou jar.
And you fill it in whenever youthink about it.
Like start it with a base, likethat will be the gift.
But whenever you think about it,put it in the jar, and it could
be something like because you umAlways smell good.
Oh, jar.
(20:07):
Because oh, that's so good.
It's so good.
Because um, yeah, what would youcome up with?
It it has to be sizable now.
Don't get like a tiny jar.
You listen, we're using masonjars for this, okay?
SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
We're not using we're not using a little
medicine bottle.
SPEAKER_02 (20:31):
And you fill it in.
You'd be surprised becauselisten, times get hard out
there, and you just come and youopen your little jar and take
out it could completely changethe trajectory of the season
that I am in.
SPEAKER_01 (20:44):
Oh my gosh, I would love to open up something like
that, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (20:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like that one very much.
Um, I have one more.
Do you want to go?
You go.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (20:57):
So this one is um a dream day plan.
SPEAKER_04 (21:04):
I love this one.
SPEAKER_03 (21:06):
I love this one.
So you can do this individually.
SPEAKER_02 (21:12):
Um, like like offer sometimes when you just make
space for someone to talk aboutwhat they would would want to do
on a dream day and just sittingand talking about it, and then
you listening and making ithappen.
Or you can build it together.
You can build it together.
One line could be, you know, itcould be the where, what, who,
(21:36):
why, whatever, the list of whysthat you can fill out going this
place, um, what would be a goodtime of year, um, and just plan
a dream day or week together,together.
SPEAKER_01 (21:51):
That might be because listen, um that reminds
me of the time that you and Ispent a weekend in the city.
Oh, remember that was just sucha great thing.
That would have been like such anice gift.
And we ended it in oneVanderbilt, yes, at one
Vanderbilt that that attractionin the city, yeah.
We saw uh a dance show.
SPEAKER_02 (22:13):
Dance, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:14):
We went to a really nice hotel.
SPEAKER_02 (22:18):
Nice hotel.
They went to the same place forbreakfast every day.
SPEAKER_01 (22:21):
Yes, yes, it was so good.
SPEAKER_02 (22:25):
Did we do the museum as well?
Yes, we didn't know.
We just had such a nice two anda half days.
They had a they had a futurismexhibit, which you know I love.
And so it was the most it wasamazing.
SPEAKER_01 (22:41):
It was a goodie, it was amazing.
That's a beautiful gift, yeah.
Weekend in a city of your choiceor whatever, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:47):
Yeah, and you can find things that are low or no
cost, right?
This is about the act of love.
It'll may take you a little timeto figure that out, but I'm sure
it won't be as hard as you maybe thinking that it is.
Yeah, just Google free things todo in New York City, you know,
around whatever, in July, 4th ofJuly.
Sure.
(23:07):
Um, in the spring, those typesof things, and pick out the two
or three things that you'd wantto do on the weekend, right?
Um another one.
SPEAKER_01 (23:16):
Okay, go.
You can think about someone'sfavorite movies, and you can
spend a weekend watching thosemovies, even if you don't care
for them.
unknown (23:28):
Binge!
SPEAKER_01 (23:29):
Binge watch the favorite movies of your friend
or your buddy or your mom, oryou know, yeah, and you can
supply the popcorn if you want,you can make it as corny as you
like, you know, have your furryslippers on or whatever, and
spend that time, you know, withwith that person watching their
(23:51):
favorite movies.
I love that one.
I like that.
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
I know if it were you, you would make you would
have three bowls of specialtypopcorn, three different
flavors.
You would have some cocktails.
SPEAKER_01 (24:03):
Well, the cocktails for sure, but I'm a purist with
popcorn, so I don't need to gocrazy.
Okay.
Homemade with cocktails.
SPEAKER_03 (24:12):
Yeah, I think that's a good one.
All right.
That's my list.
Are you done?
SPEAKER_01 (24:21):
Yeah, that was my list too.
But I think that gives somepeople food for thought.
Um, it's not something that youhave to run out to the mall to
to accomplish or, you know, gobroke.
I mean, those are the spiritthat's the spirit that I would
love for people to hold on toand adopt.
And I just reject the seasonbecause we've moved so far away
(24:44):
from it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:44):
Right.
So are you willing to re-embracethe season if more and more
people do that and people let usknow how what what the only
reason why I'm not trying to beintransient.
SPEAKER_01 (25:04):
I'm just I don't think I'm gonna see a change in
the societal embrace of thisconsumerism.
SPEAKER_04 (25:13):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
You know, I mean we all have our personal and I uh I
love that.
It's not gonna change my livingmy being in the world of the
stuff, you know.
SPEAKER_04 (25:25):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
I was in the award the other day.
It was I think it was the dayafter Thanksgiving.
Oh no.
And don't they know?
And don't they know?
And the music came on, and Ididn't say it to anyone in
particular, but it it was anexpletive.
And I'm like, it's too fuckingsoon or something.
(25:49):
I said, and I wasn't reallyspeaking to anyone, but the
surgeon heard me and he's like,Alright, we can change the
music.
You want to hear something else?
SPEAKER_04 (26:00):
And I'm like, Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (26:04):
I I don't know.
I I don't want to ruin it forother people.
Yeah, it's just that this reallyis Christmas Christ, you know.
It's right, we're celebratingsomething very specific and
where we who said we had to openup our wallets and and go broke,
and people like, I'm sostressed.
(26:25):
I mean, this is what theconversation is.
I'm so in the in the in thelounges and the I'm so stressed,
I'm not ready, I'm not ready.
SPEAKER_00 (26:34):
I didn't finish, I still have this, and I'm like,
you seem kind of nervous to me.
That doesn't sound like fun.
No, that obligatory, I gotta, Igotta, oh my god, I forgot
somebody.
SPEAKER_04 (26:47):
And yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:49):
Yeah.
Trying to simplify my life, notmake it more complicated.
And I'm such a giver all yearround that's true, that Macy's
and Nordstrom don't have to tellme when it's time to give it.
I take this with my money.
SPEAKER_02 (27:06):
Oh Lord.
Anyway, we hope that you have awonderful Christmas.
Um however you celebrate it umsafe.
Absolutely.
We hope it's it's filled withlove.
Whether you are by yourself,find find your do your do your
(27:27):
favorite movies, get yourpopcorn.
Um, we hope that you have anenjoyable day, whether you're
alone or with you know, ahundred people.
SPEAKER_01 (27:36):
And people of other faiths, this is such a um a
season of family.
People are celebrating Hanukkah.
Um many people celebrateKwanzaa.
I believe um the season of Eidis around this time as well.
So um, for whatever it is thatyou all celebrate and whomever
(27:58):
you worship, um, bring some loveand we we pray that you have joy
and um a prosperous going intothe new the new year for sure.
With health, health is soimportant.
SPEAKER_02 (28:13):
Yes, all the things, yeah.
So happy holidays from BlackBoomer Besties from Brooklyn,
Brooklyn.
Hey Ange.
SPEAKER_02 (00:04):
Hey Bless.
How's it going?
SPEAKER_01 (00:06):
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
SPEAKER_02 (00:15):
Okay.
That is the job.
You are such a listen.
Anybody that knows me knows.
(00:37):
And we have proof.
We have proof.
We have an uh episode for Idon't know.
It must have been season three.
I don't know, but we're inseason 16 right now, where
Leslie confessed.
I don't like this time of year.
She she doesn't like this timeof year.
I wasn't always like this.
SPEAKER_01 (00:58):
I think the world here's a poem I read.
And if any of our listeners canput it in the chat or respond,
I'll find some prize to get giveyou.
But there is a poem that goes,The world is too much with her.
SPEAKER_03 (01:19):
Ooh.
Okay, splay Lucy.
I don't remember the poem.
Okay, so I can't look it up.
SPEAKER_01 (01:27):
What does it mean?
It's it's it's the season thatI'm going through right now.
It's it's a weary season.
The world is too much.
SPEAKER_02 (01:36):
I got you.
You know, it's it's a lot.
It's a lot.
Yeah, it it is a lot.
It is a lot.
And we were gonna kind of callthis episode just this, it's
it's just a season of of ofsadness and challenges.
And um it's also Christmasseason, and I am not in the boat
(02:00):
with Leslie around Christmas.
I'm not into the consumerism ofChristmas anymore, thank
goodness.
But you've emancipated yourselffrom that.
I have, yes, but I am in the inthe community and the family
aspect of of Christmas, which Iwhich I don't think you ever had
an issue with.
You just get mad 364 other days,and you you know, you can't
(02:26):
wait.
It's the funniest thing beingaround Leslie.
And we will leave a link to thepodcast that we're referring to,
the episode that we're referringto.
But where Leslie and I, shereally she was like, What is all
this Christmas stuff?
What is the music?
It's like a day into November,and it was it was our humbug and
(02:46):
the the shirt she's wearing.
Can you move your your hair alittle bit just to she's she's
she's serious about that?
She's really serious about that.
SPEAKER_01 (02:56):
We have to say, welcome to another episode of
Black Boomer Besties fromBrooklyn.
SPEAKER_02 (03:02):
I'm Angela, and that's Leslie, my best friend of
almost 50 years.
We are two free-thinking60-something-year-old black
women, and we are determined, weare living more joyful and bold
lives on purpose.
We invite you to join us on ourjourney.
More importantly, we invite youto start and or continue your
(03:26):
joy journey.
And believe it or not, we aregonna be talking about joyful
things today.
Yeah, despite the Bahamas, andI'm typically a joyful person.
Except now, just not now.
Leave me alone, leave me alone.
So, anyway, um, I do enjoy theChristmas season.
(03:51):
It's very different this yearbecause there's so much going on
that is um weighty, as we say inJamaica.
It's weighty.
And um, but I am looking forwardto spending Christmas with my
family, even um extended family.
We're all gathering and um, youknow, we're doing a secret scent
(04:16):
uh, we're planning ahead.
It's crazy how well this one isplanned.
We typically don't plan likethat.
I mean, my kind of I am more ofa let's get together.
What let's do it today.
And some members of my family,thank goodness, are let's make a
plan.
So there have been GoogleShepherd itineraries and um
(04:43):
events that we're excursionsthat we're gonna do and plans
for um for meals and things likethat.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
And one of my young nieces,actually grandniece, is is the
one who is um managing theSecret Santa.
So it's pretty exciting.
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (05:03):
Um Bui for you.
No, I'll I'll use this as anopportunity to see people that I
love.
That's true.
SPEAKER_02 (05:19):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (05:21):
Yeah.
I'll I'm not gonna go into why Idon't like the season.
I'm not trying to make thisunhappy and unpleasant and all.
It's just that the commercialismand the consumerism has just
taken over.
SPEAKER_03 (05:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:36):
And I reject it so vehemently that I rather bless
Christ, think about my family,give gifts on any other day than
December 25th.
SPEAKER_02 (05:51):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (05:52):
So with my own silent protest.
SPEAKER_02 (05:55):
So with that in mind, uh we do have some ideas
to share with you on things thatyou can do that are somewhere in
between Leslie and I in terms ofum in terms of um, you know not
not spending um or spending verylittle, um, still respecting the
(06:16):
the the boycotts that you aresupporting, that we are
supporting, and um being evenmore intentional in gift giving.
So we have what five or sixideas with you.
You did?
Okay, excellent.
SPEAKER_01 (06:33):
And yes, these are gifts that show people that you
care.
It's not just a cursory giftthat, oh, I found something, you
know, a stocking stuffer, right?
You know, in the aisle as you'regoing down.
But it's something that it's alittle bit, it's it's
meaningful, and people will knowthat you put a little effort or
(06:56):
thought about it.
SPEAKER_02 (06:57):
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And most of them don't requireany particular um crafty skills,
you know.
You you just have to really,guess what?
You have to think about why youlove people.
You you have to act on thatlove.
What a concept.
(07:18):
You actually have to use love asthe verb and and do something.
So do you want to start, Les?
You you start because this wasyour your idea.
SPEAKER_01 (07:27):
Yeah, so I'll start with I'll start with two gifts.
They're they're linked.
Okay.
One of the things I did oneyear, which was very effective,
I think, in showing how much Icare about people.
I not only do I cook, but Ibake.
Yes.
And I love making home-bakedgoods for people.
(07:50):
She's so good at it.
And wrapping them nicely becausethe recipient knows that you put
some time into it and to handsomeone a beautifully wrapped
cake that you made, you know, II think that's very special.
SPEAKER_02 (08:05):
Yeah.
The other thing that I did forthe the let me say on that,
that's also really good if youare visiting family or or
friends' homes.
You can take uh homemade things.
My partner is making cookies,and so you can bring some of um
the lug that you put into what'sthat?
(08:26):
Yeah, you can bring some of you.
Some of you, okay.
There we go.
Because I'm like, I'm not, Idon't, I don't get it twisted.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,wait.
Do not expect that from me.
Do not all nervous from me.
I just want to be clear.
I rebuke that idea of mecooking.
(08:48):
I will crochet you a something.
Yes, but I will not.
That would turn it into aHalloween hara.
That would be like who broughtthe potato salad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So I I am giving some of somecrochet gifts.
SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
But anyway, go ahead.
But in in in that same vein,what I did one year is I have
this famous apple cake.
And because people weren't nextclose to me and I wasn't able to
present it to them personally, Iput all of the dry ingredients
together in a really nicecontainer with the instructions
(09:29):
and what to add to it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:31):
Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:32):
And then I was able to send that.
I think I also did with theapple cake some blueberry
muffins and put um and put thatthose ingredients together, and
all they had to do was add thewet milk and eggs and whatever.
Right.
So that that was a um reallynice and presented it and sent
it in many cases.
Yeah.
So people have it when they'reready to make a cake, they just
(09:54):
have to add the the wetingredient.
I love it.
SPEAKER_02 (09:57):
Love it, love it, love it.
SPEAKER_03 (09:59):
Okay, your turn.
SPEAKER_02 (10:01):
Okay, so one that I have is a remember when we used
to make mixtapes?
SPEAKER_03 (10:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:10):
Going back to that.
Oh my gosh, that was a way ofshowing somebody that you cared,
especially like if a guy gaveyou the tape and then you would
be listening to the songs, andit's like, I wonder if he thinks
this way about me.
And it's like, nah, I just likethe song.
I just like the baby.
Calm down.
You know, was that song for me?
We sit here in our room and sithere and listen to them.
(10:31):
So, yeah, go ahead about themixtape.
SPEAKER_02 (10:33):
So, you know, you may know that they're not called
that anymore.
Okay, they're called playlists,but I think that that would be
just a sweet way of creating aplaylist playlist for different
members of your family, yeah.
Yes, you know, to share songsthat you have enjoyed in in your
kind of generation, um, and passit on to the younger generation.
(10:57):
It could be even playlists of umof speeches, it could be
playlists of podcasts, it couldbe playlists.
Oh, that's a great idea.
SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
I never thought outside of the music genre of a
playlist, but things that yourloved ones or people you care
about would like to listen to.
Inspiring things.
I know you like to listen tothings as you sleep.
SPEAKER_02 (11:20):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (11:21):
So it could be asleep, like that.
SPEAKER_02 (11:23):
Yeah, whatever you and it's great for people that
you don't see all the time orpeople that you kind of struggle
with.
Well, I I don't know what we'regonna talk about, you know, and
that may get in the way.
Send them a really nice podcast,and that could be something that
you talk about.
That could last for a fewconversations.
I think so.
That could last for a fewconversations.
(11:43):
Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (11:44):
Wow, that's really cool.
I um it's it's not gonna be agift, but I've put together a
playlist um for my wedding.
Oh my fiance doesn't know aboutit.
Oh, been like jotting thingsdown and putting it together and
make a playlist.
SPEAKER_02 (12:05):
Mix all the things.
You can um this is by the way,most of these things, if I
didn't mention, are no cost, lowcost.
You just have to um use love asa verb and and do the thing.
SPEAKER_03 (12:19):
And do the thing.
Okay.
You go.
SPEAKER_01 (12:24):
One of the things I've done, you mentioned it a
little bit, but I crochet.
And every year I used to make umhats for my nephews and send
them um their crocheted hats forthe year.
SPEAKER_04 (12:42):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:43):
You know?
So that's another thing.
Obviously, you have to startearly.
SPEAKER_02 (12:47):
You have to go fast.
SPEAKER_01 (12:49):
Or go in in my spare time.
But um, I'm looking at a hat Imade right now that I just wore
today.
SPEAKER_02 (12:57):
Oh handmade gifts like that are are really cool.
And you know, um, you may findsome local people, and this is
um uh this is not free, but ifyou want to do something like
that and support some localartists, you may be able to find
people in your community that umdo these types of things and you
(13:21):
can um you can support them inthat way.
And you're still showing thelove because you're not just
going on some of the big boxstores or you know, these online
places and um and supportingyour local local community.
Okay.
So another one I have is um soit's called Random Acts of
(13:44):
Kindness.
Um this came to me because mychildren um they went to a
middle school, it was a magnetmiddle school called um AB
Combs.
Um and their kind of um uhmission was around the seven
(14:06):
habits of highly effectivepeople.
And so all of all of that umStephen Covey stuff, you know,
think win-win and seek first tounderstand um before you're
understood, and all of thosethings.
And one of the things that theyum they encouraged were random
acts of kindness.
(14:26):
The way that that showed up withone of my children, I won't say
which one, was me like why isyour lunch account getting
depleted so fast?
Like, what is going on?
Oh, I I Johnny doesn't um haveenough money to get a dessert
(14:48):
every day, so we sit togetherand I buy the dessert and we
both so that it's a random actof kindness, mom.
You can't argue with that.
So I you know it's add a littleextra to the account.
Just add a little extra to theaccount.
So that might be something thatum as a gift, you write down
(15:12):
things, maybe 12 things, one foreach month, that would make the
other person like, you know,this isn't about you.
You get the joy of giving, butit is what the other person may
want.
Um, and then they get a stack of12 things that could be
beautifully wrapped, too.
(15:33):
And they get to turn one in oncea month.
Um, and so it could be, youknow, whatever it is.
It could be things like, youknow, cooking your special
dinner, or it could be umwhatever you think they they
they like, um, giving them a umand it's uh it's showing that
(15:54):
you know them, that you seethem, and that you're willing to
spend some time doing thinkingabout it and putting it
together.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So 12 random acts of kindness,12 monthly random act of
kindness.
And that could be like on cards,or you can just get card stock
or listen, don't make itcomplicated.
(16:15):
Because then card stock issomething then you don't do it.
Cardstock is something that Ikeep around.
You don't have cardstock, don'tworry about it.
Do it on um index cards, oryeah, that kind of stuff.
I save stuff so I mean listen, Iused to save the inserts in um,
you know, like socks or um uhright the cardboard deck.
(16:37):
The cardboard that's rectangularbecause they're perfectly and
you save them, but then you getto do things like that.
But that's me.
That's me.
SPEAKER_01 (16:44):
You know what else I could think about with that
rectangular cardboard?
Yeah.
Bookmarks.
How often am I reading a bookand what do I have to put in it?
A crumpled up piece of paper.
You know, bookmarks are alwaysgreat.
What I've done in the past formyself, not a gift, but it would
(17:04):
be perfect.
Yeah, I've seen in somemagazines some beautiful
pictures or whatever, and I'velaminated them and made
bookmarks.
SPEAKER_02 (17:11):
Ah, that's so smart.
SPEAKER_01 (17:14):
Yes, that's so smart.
SPEAKER_02 (17:16):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:17):
So that's an idea for a bibliophile.
SPEAKER_02 (17:20):
That's right.
A lot of things you can do.
Listen, your printer can do morethan eight and a half by eleven.
You just have to write there'sthat little slidey thing.
It's it's for you to havedifferent paper sizes.
Check it out, super easy.
SPEAKER_01 (17:37):
And I laminated it, yep, and cut it, and there's a
beautiful bookmark for someonethat is very uh low cost.
One of the one of my favoritethings that someone did for me,
my fiance actually did it forme.
Just because, not a gift, butthis is this would be a perfect
gift.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
He cleaned and detailed my car.
It took him like five hours.
I mean, paint, I mean, the carlooked like it was so beautiful.
SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
And and he I know he did it because he's like, it's
filthy, I'm not getting in it.
That wasn't the spirit, quitethe spirit that I'm talking
about.
I'd like to think he did itbecause he loved me.
Let's let's say that.
How about both?
(18:34):
So no, but that's it.
He's a type he washes his car.
Why?
Because I haven't washed it in acouple days.
Ooh, that's a keeper rightthere.
Oh blah.
That's that's a keeper.
Yeah, that's a keeper.
So something like that, an actof service for someone, is
really, really special.
(18:54):
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02 (18:55):
And these things last, like every time you get
it.
The idea of it lasts, yes, it'slike, ooh, and you kind of feel
like you're better thaneverybody else.
Yeah.
Like, because I'm getting in aclean car.
It's like so that's a reallygood one.
I love that.
Okay, is it your turn or is itmy turn?
I think it's yours.
(19:16):
I had another one, but I forgotit.
Okay, so this these these twoare similar.
It's um uh a jar where you putin um little notes.
They can be the same color,different colors.
That could be really cute.
Um and start with because youand fill it and fill it in.
(19:44):
Um so it's a be it's a becauseyou jar.
And you fill it in whenever youthink about it.
Like start it with a base, likethat will be the gift.
But whenever you think about it,put it in the jar, and it could
be something like because you umAlways smell good.
Oh, jar.
(20:07):
Because oh, that's so good.
It's so good.
Because um, yeah, what would youcome up with?
It it has to be sizable now.
Don't get like a tiny jar.
You listen, we're using masonjars for this, okay?
SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
We're not using we're not using a little
medicine bottle.
SPEAKER_02 (20:31):
And you fill it in.
You'd be surprised becauselisten, times get hard out
there, and you just come and youopen your little jar and take
out it could completely changethe trajectory of the season
that I am in.
SPEAKER_01 (20:44):
Oh my gosh, I would love to open up something like
that, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (20:48):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like that one very much.
Um, I have one more.
Do you want to go?
You go.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (20:57):
So this one is um a dream day plan.
SPEAKER_04 (21:04):
I love this one.
SPEAKER_03 (21:06):
I love this one.
So you can do this individually.
SPEAKER_02 (21:12):
Um, like like offer sometimes when you just make
space for someone to talk aboutwhat they would would want to do
on a dream day and just sittingand talking about it, and then
you listening and making ithappen.
Or you can build it together.
You can build it together.
One line could be, you know, itcould be the where, what, who,
(21:36):
why, whatever, the list of whysthat you can fill out going this
place, um, what would be a goodtime of year, um, and just plan
a dream day or week together,together.
SPEAKER_01 (21:51):
That might be because listen, um that reminds
me of the time that you and Ispent a weekend in the city.
Oh, remember that was just sucha great thing.
That would have been like such anice gift.
And we ended it in oneVanderbilt, yes, at one
Vanderbilt that that attractionin the city, yeah.
We saw uh a dance show.
SPEAKER_02 (22:13):
Dance, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:14):
We went to a really nice hotel.
SPEAKER_02 (22:18):
Nice hotel.
They went to the same place forbreakfast every day.
SPEAKER_01 (22:21):
Yes, yes, it was so good.
SPEAKER_02 (22:25):
Did we do the museum as well?
Yes, we didn't know.
We just had such a nice two anda half days.
They had a they had a futurismexhibit, which you know I love.
And so it was the most it wasamazing.
SPEAKER_01 (22:41):
It was a goodie, it was amazing.
That's a beautiful gift, yeah.
Weekend in a city of your choiceor whatever, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (22:47):
Yeah, and you can find things that are low or no
cost, right?
This is about the act of love.
It'll may take you a little timeto figure that out, but I'm sure
it won't be as hard as you maybe thinking that it is.
Yeah, just Google free things todo in New York City, you know,
around whatever, in July, 4th ofJuly.
Sure.
(23:07):
Um, in the spring, those typesof things, and pick out the two
or three things that you'd wantto do on the weekend, right?
Um another one.
SPEAKER_01 (23:16):
Okay, go.
You can think about someone'sfavorite movies, and you can
spend a weekend watching thosemovies, even if you don't care
for them.
unknown (23:28):
Binge!
SPEAKER_01 (23:29):
Binge watch the favorite movies of your friend
or your buddy or your mom, oryou know, yeah, and you can
supply the popcorn if you want,you can make it as corny as you
like, you know, have your furryslippers on or whatever, and
spend that time, you know, withwith that person watching their
(23:51):
favorite movies.
I love that one.
I like that.
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
I know if it were you, you would make you would
have three bowls of specialtypopcorn, three different
flavors.
You would have some cocktails.
SPEAKER_01 (24:03):
Well, the cocktails for sure, but I'm a purist with
popcorn, so I don't need to gocrazy.
Okay.
Homemade with cocktails.
SPEAKER_03 (24:12):
Yeah, I think that's a good one.
All right.
That's my list.
Are you done?
SPEAKER_01 (24:21):
Yeah, that was my list too.
But I think that gives somepeople food for thought.
Um, it's not something that youhave to run out to the mall to
to accomplish or, you know, gobroke.
I mean, those are the spiritthat's the spirit that I would
love for people to hold on toand adopt.
And I just reject the seasonbecause we've moved so far away
(24:44):
from it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:44):
Right.
So are you willing to re-embracethe season if more and more
people do that and people let usknow how what what the only
reason why I'm not trying to beintransient.
SPEAKER_01 (25:04):
I'm just I don't think I'm gonna see a change in
the societal embrace of thisconsumerism.
SPEAKER_04 (25:13):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
You know, I mean we all have our personal and I uh I
love that.
It's not gonna change my livingmy being in the world of the
stuff, you know.
SPEAKER_04 (25:25):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (25:27):
I was in the award the other day.
It was I think it was the dayafter Thanksgiving.
Oh no.
And don't they know?
And don't they know?
And the music came on, and Ididn't say it to anyone in
particular, but it it was anexpletive.
And I'm like, it's too fuckingsoon or something.
(25:49):
I said, and I wasn't reallyspeaking to anyone, but the
surgeon heard me and he's like,Alright, we can change the
music.
You want to hear something else?
SPEAKER_04 (26:00):
And I'm like, Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (26:04):
I I don't know.
I I don't want to ruin it forother people.
Yeah, it's just that this reallyis Christmas Christ, you know.
It's right, we're celebratingsomething very specific and
where we who said we had to openup our wallets and and go broke,
and people like, I'm sostressed.
(26:25):
I mean, this is what theconversation is.
I'm so in the in the in thelounges and the I'm so stressed,
I'm not ready, I'm not ready.
SPEAKER_00 (26:34):
I didn't finish, I still have this, and I'm like,
you seem kind of nervous to me.
That doesn't sound like fun.
No, that obligatory, I gotta, Igotta, oh my god, I forgot
somebody.
SPEAKER_04 (26:47):
And yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:49):
Yeah.
Trying to simplify my life, notmake it more complicated.
And I'm such a giver all yearround that's true, that Macy's
and Nordstrom don't have to tellme when it's time to give it.
I take this with my money.
SPEAKER_02 (27:06):
Oh Lord.
Anyway, we hope that you have awonderful Christmas.
Um however you celebrate it umsafe.
Absolutely.
We hope it's it's filled withlove.
Whether you are by yourself,find find your do your do your
(27:27):
favorite movies, get yourpopcorn.
Um, we hope that you have anenjoyable day, whether you're
alone or with you know, ahundred people.
SPEAKER_01 (27:36):
And people of other faiths, this is such a um a
season of family.
People are celebrating Hanukkah.
Um many people celebrateKwanzaa.
I believe um the season of Eidis around this time as well.
So um, for whatever it is thatyou all celebrate and whomever
(27:58):
you worship, um, bring some loveand we we pray that you have joy
and um a prosperous going intothe new the new year for sure.
With health, health is soimportant.
SPEAKER_02 (28:13):
Yes, all the things, yeah.
So happy holidays from BlackBoomer Besties from Brooklyn,
Brooklyn.
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