July 24, 2024 • 23 mins
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The concept of authenticity in the consulting world is often misunderstood. Inspired by a recent commentary on a major news channel, this episode explores the daily struggle women, especially women of color, face in conforming to traditional professional norms.
We are discussing why many consultants struggle with authenticity and breaking down common misconceptions to challenge us to take action. Gain actionable steps to help you leverage your unique strengths and values to show up authentically in your space.
**************
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
They say, the odds are stacked against us as women,
especially women of color,trying to thrive in the
consulting world.
But rather than wait for a seatat the table that may never
come, what if we build our owntables?
What if we channeled ourtalents into guiding each other
towards the success we deserve?
Welcome to the Black GirlsConsulting Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and I've walked the path
(00:25):
from healthcare consultant to amentor for women like you,
ambitious, unstoppable and readyto make waves in the consulting
world.
This podcast is your go-to spotfor all things entrepreneurial
consulting.
For us as women, especiallywomen of color, think of it as
your weekly coffee date with afriend who's here to dish out
real talk on building a solidbusiness, elevating your thought
(00:48):
leadership and mastering thatall important mindset.
And let's not forget, we'redoing all of this while
balancing day jobs, family lifeand running teams.
Yes, we can do it all.
So if you're ready to dive intohow you can grow a thriving
consultancy or get strategiesand insights that actually fit
your busy lifestyle, then you'rein the right place.
(01:09):
Grab your coffee, tea or, hey,even a glass of wine, I won't
judge and let's get started.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to the Black GirlsConsulting Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and I could not wait to
(01:30):
talk to you today because I waswatching an episode on one of
our major news channels.
I can't remember if it was CNNor MSNBC.
Either way, if you are not inthe US, just to fill you in,
we're in the midst of anelection year and whenever
there's an election year, thingsare always a little bit crazy.
(01:51):
But this year in particular,things have gotten just crazier
than ever.
So I was listening in on one ofthe shows and trying to gauge
where things were going, movingforward after a big announcement
, and at the time I was just allcaught up in the news of the
(02:11):
day, not necessarily thinkingabout anything related to the
business or anything related toconsulting whatsoever.
But when I heard this, thisstood out so much that I knew
this was a message that neededto be shared and I knew this was
a topic that we needed to havein more detail on the podcast.
(02:34):
So let me just explain exactlywhat happened.
Like I said, I was watching TV.
I was watching the commentary onthe upcoming election this is
right after President Bidendecided not to run for
reelection and the panelists whowas on the show was arguing
that if Vice President KamalaHarris actually became the
(02:55):
presidential candidate for theDemocratic Party, that her only
chance of winning would be ifshe were more authentic.
And they said this quoteexactly she just needs to be
herself.
That's what they said and itstood out to me so loudly.
I could not help but just bestruck by the fact that this was
(03:17):
the perfect example of oureveryday struggle as women, and
especially as women of color, tofit in with what others deem to
be quote unquote professional,and I saw this comment as being
something that the commentatorprobably meant no harm by saying
, and actually, in all honesty,I will agree that it is true,
(03:40):
but it was strange hearing itbecause I felt very attacked in
that moment, if I was to betransparent.
I felt attacked because I knowhow hard it is to show up every
day in a professional orcorporate environment and for
someone to tell you to beyourself when everything about
that environment requires you tobe different.
(04:03):
Right, I'm sure you all canrelate to this, and what I was
thinking is that even the vicepresident of the United States
seemingly struggles with fittinginto this box and, let's be
honest, the nonstop critiquesand judgments that she
experiences makes it that muchharder for her to be 100%
(04:24):
authentic, and I know that,although we're not the president
of the United States, the vicepresident of the United States
are running for a major election.
We as women, especially womenof color in this consulting
world have been there.
As women, we often feel, youknow, this pressure to conform
to old school, cisgender, white,male, hyper competitive spaces
(04:48):
and we feel like we have to dothat to just be taken seriously.
Look, that's one of the reasonswhy I believe the pantsuit
became so big, if you noticethat Kamala often wears her
pantsuit rather than a skirt andone of the reasons that's the
case is because we feel as if weneed to show up differently to
be taken seriously and tocompete head to head with our
(05:12):
male counterparts.
Now, I don't believe that'snecessary.
I believe that she's asintelligent, strong and capable
in a skirt and heels as shewould be in a pantsuit and
converse a pantsuit and flats.
But the point is that we oftenfeel as if we cannot show up as
who we truly are, and it's theserestrictive norms of the world
(05:36):
that make it very challengingfor us to embrace this whole
concept of being authentic, andwe hear it all the time
Authenticity is the key tosuccess.
You have to be authentic soothers can relate to you.
We hear that authenticity isthe key, but how can we really
embrace that?
How can we embrace beingauthentic when the world is
(05:57):
telling us not to be ourselves?
This is the conversation I wantto have today.
So now I want you to imaginehow transformative your business
can actually become if youweren't able to be who you truly
are without having the need towear this mask or to switch into
(06:18):
a different person the minuteyou walk through the door.
Okay, as a matter of fact, Ican relate so much that, if
you've been listening to thepodcast, you know that I
dedicated a whole year to myyear of bold.
It was all about me trying toshow up more boldly in this
space, to speak my mind, to leaninto who I am authentically and
listen.
Now, that needs to be an entiredecade.
(06:42):
You hear me?
A whole decade or more.
It clearly was not somethingthat I accomplished in a year.
It's something that I'm stillcontinuing to work on and to
explore.
So in this episode, I want usto talk about how we might have
struggled with being authenticin our practice thus far, but
then how we can actually beginto turn our authenticity the way
(07:05):
that we are who we arenaturally into our superpower.
A thriving consulting businessis built on a solid business
foundation and a consulting codethat leads you toward your
ideal business and your ideallifestyle.
And the great thing about thiscode is that it works for any
type of consulting practice,whether you help clients with
(07:27):
professional development,business management, grant
writing, it or somethingentirely different.
This consulting code is notrocket science and it's not
beyond your reach, and when youcrack the code, it can jumpstart
the growth of your soloconsulting practice and is what
you need to know to get startedand land your first clients, and
(07:47):
nothing more.
This is a step-by-step processI wish I had so many years ago,
and that's why I wanted to sharethis with you and how you can
do this too.
So if you're interested instarting your consulting
business and creating adesirable offer to generate
leads for your offer and to makesales, then the consulting code
is your solution.
(08:08):
Visit wwwexcelatconsultingcomfor more information.
So first let me say that thereare a lot of common
misconceptions when it comes toauthenticity.
Many consultants believe thatwe need to show up as this
perfectly polished corporateimage in order to be successful,
(08:32):
then we need to fit a certainmold that is highly consistent
with what we have traditionallythought of in consulting, which,
let's be honest, is usually anolder white male.
That's just, I mean.
That's just the truth.
And when we don't fit into that, somehow we begin to question
whether or not we have theability to be taken seriously or
(08:54):
to be as successful as ourcounterparts.
But really, authenticity isabout showing up as who you
truly are and not some idealizedversion of what you think
clients want to see.
Because, see, this is the thingwe're trying to get into the
minds of our clients when, inall actuality, we don't even
(09:16):
know if they like the currenttraditional image that they're
forced to accept.
However, I do want toacknowledge that it is natural
to fear judgment or to worryabout rejection.
That is a natural emotion thatany of us are going to feel as
humans.
I feel that myself.
But we have to push againstthat, because if we want to show
(09:41):
up as someone that people cantrust, that they feel like they
can relate to, then we need tobe real, we need to be ourselves
.
Being anything else is not beingwho the person is actually
going to work with, andoftentimes that is just very
(10:02):
hard to overcome, no matter howhard we try.
So if we've struggled withauthenticity before, then you
may have felt some of thesethings.
One is a lack ofself-reflection, meaning that
you haven't taken the time toreflect on what makes you unique
and valuable, and so, becauseyou haven't reflected on that,
(10:23):
it's hard to know exactly whatpeople truly are drawn to, are
attracted to, what they see asbeing a differentiator when it
comes to comparing you withothers in your industry.
Another thing is that there'slikely a fear of judgment.
If we're just real about it,many times when we are concerned
(10:45):
about being authentic or wehave difficulty being our
authentic selves, we fear thatothers may look at us
differently.
They may not see us as being asintelligent, they may not see
us as being as smart, they maynot see us as being as capable
or even attractive.
That comes into our mindssometimes as women, but I want
(11:05):
you to remember that the rightclients, the ones that are meant
for you, are going to see thevalue that you offer, and the
ones that are insistent onseeing something different,
they're going to always see that, no matter what.
So the last thing is thatinconsistent authenticity
meaning that you're trying to beconsistent sometimes.
(11:28):
Other times you have difficultywith it.
You go back and forth, showingup differently depending upon
the space, the time, who you'rearound.
That can actually chip away attrust and credibility, because
the person doesn't know what toexpect.
You know they may see you beingone way on one podcast and then
when you go on another podcast,you're talking a little bit
(11:49):
differently.
Maybe you're showing up onYouTube one way but then showing
up on LinkedIn another.
Maybe you're on your podcast,like I am now, and being
completely different than beingonline on LinkedIn.
If I'm doing any of thosethings, please let me know.
I don't want to do that, but thepoint is that we all struggle
(12:10):
with this right.
I don't think anyone is immuneto it.
So, because we know that a lotof what we are dealing with is
centered around the fact that wehave not taken the time to do
self-reflection, that we fearjudgment and that there is
potentially inconsistencies withhow we're showing up as our
(12:30):
true selves, then when we thinkabout the steps that we can take
to correct those things, it'sgoing to be pushing back on
those, on those beliefs, right?
And so I want to talk now abouthow we can take some actionable
steps, and these are steps thatI am working on myself.
These are steps that I havebeen, you know, even thinking
(12:51):
more deeply about after watchingthat panelists make their
comments and thinking about thefact that these are things that
are even affecting someone whohas accomplished so much on a
world stage, and thinking abouthow can we continue this journey
(13:13):
of being able to fully embraceourselves authentically.
And it does start withself-reflection.
I want us to take some time toreally think about our unique
strengths and values.
I don't think we give ourselvesenough credit.
We take for granted so muchthat we bring to the table that
(13:35):
truly is an added value and aunique strength.
That is insane.
So I want us to take time tothink about those qualities,
think about how our abilitiesshine through in our work.
So how are we able toincorporate the uniqueness of
who we are into the work that wedo, into our client
(13:57):
interactions?
So think about this, even ifyou had a journal on it what
makes you you, what makes youdifferent?
I know for myself I had to thinklong and hard about you know
what really is special, and Inoticed one trait to be very
common about the way I practiceand the way I work with clients,
and it is my empathy.
(14:19):
It's my empathy and also myfriendliness.
I know that sometimes it cancome off as being soft for some
people to be more empathetic andto be more caring and more
nurturing, but that's somethingthat is actually a strength of
mine.
I truly see that as a strengthand for those who want to go on
(14:41):
this journey of becoming abetter consultant, building
their business and havingsomeone in their corner that
supports them and understandsthe unique challenges that they
face, for that person that I'mmeant to serve, that's a
strength.
And it wasn't until Iunderstood that fully that I
felt more comfortable evensmiling more often on photos,
(15:02):
because before I have a hugesmile, huge smile.
It's something that peoplecompliment me on, but something
I've always felt veryself-conscious about and tried
to hide, because I was alwaystrained that to show up that way
.
Really, I guess I would say Iworked against me when it came
to showing up as a strong youknow, strong player at the table
(15:24):
.
But what I noticed over time isthat that's what drew the right
people that I'm meant to serveto me, and the more I leaned
into that, the more I didn'tapologize for showing up that
way.
The more that I createdprograms and services that were
more nurturing, that were morecaring about unique
circumstances, then I thrived,my business thrived.
(15:46):
So I want us to reflect onthose types of things, write
that down journal about it,really figure out what it is
that is unique to you, that isvaluable.
And then the second thing is tobe very transparent in the way
you communicate, and often weare very cautious about what we
(16:07):
say.
As a matter of fact, I'velearned over time to have these
slower pauses in the way that Ispeak, and I know it's because
I'm thinking about what to sayand what not to say.
And although you know hey,listen, you don't want to just
run off at the mouth and justmake a taboo and say anything At
the same time you want thecomfort of just easily flowing
(16:28):
with your conversation.
So try starting your clientmeetings by sharing a little bit
about your journey.
Tell your client a little bitabout why you do what you do
Really set the stage for them totrust you, for them to build a
relationship with you, not thatimage that you're trying to
portray online.
Not that image that you feltlike you had to portray at your
job.
Not that image that you'retrying to portray online at the
image that you felt like you hadto portray at your job.
(16:50):
Not the mask that you had towear, that you had to wear every
time you stepped into acorporate environment.
I want you to start sharing alittle bit more about you who
you are, how you think, what'syour philosophy, what's your
prescription, how you've beeneducated, what you value all
those things your beliefs sharethat those are the things that
(17:12):
your clients can connect with,and this is a vast difference to
how many of the traditionalconsulting firms actually handle
their clients.
They're not as open andtransparent in their
communication, and so one of thethings that actually results in
is people not having a lot oftrust that you are there to
(17:32):
serve them instead of havingyour best interest at heart.
So be more transparent in yourcommunication.
Say what you really think.
If you think that their idea isbad, tell them.
Tell them that's what they want.
That's what they are paying youfor.
They want that transparentcommunication, and the more we
can be more transparent in theway that we communicate, the
(17:55):
more we're going to embrace whowe naturally are, because we're
not filtering it through theshoulds and the coulds and the
woulds and the you need tos ofthe world.
You're just saying what youthink.
You're using your lifeexperience, you're using your
viewpoint and your perspectiveto provide insight.
(18:16):
That's what they're paying youfor, that's what your client
wants.
I know we don't feel like itsometimes, we feel like we need
to show up differently, but thatis really what they desire.
And then the last thing isgetting comfortable with
embracing vulnerability.
Now, this is the part, I think,that gives us all a little bit
(18:37):
of an ease, becausevulnerability sounds like we
need to pour out all of ourstruggles and tell everybody all
of our business and puteverything out in the streets.
That's not what it means.
Vulnerability is not sharingall your business.
Vulnerability is not aboutbeing weak.
It's actually a strength.
(18:57):
It's a strength that reallydoes foster connection and trust
.
It's just like me telling youthat I struggle with all of this
.
Everything that we're talkingabout in this episode today I
struggle with, I'm working on,I'm actively trying to figure
out how can I be more authenticin my practice.
I know that if I can just tellyou everything that I have gone
(19:18):
through as a woman in consulting, as a black woman in consulting
, it's going to make yourjourney a lot easier, but I
struggle with being thatvulnerable.
So I think that being able tosay that, hopefully, will help
you.
Relate to the fact that you'renot alone, that we all struggle
with being more vulnerable andsharing these things that we see
(19:40):
as weaknesses or embarrassments, and being able to use that to
help others.
To help others feel as if theycan make it too, because they've
seen you accomplish that goaldespite those challenges.
That's what the vulnerabilityactually does and that's what
(20:01):
also ties people into followingyour approach, following your
process, because they have abetter understanding as to who
and what it applies to.
They can put a greater contextaround what you're saying.
So this vulnerability that I'murging you to show is a very
(20:21):
impactful way to connect withyour clients and to grow and to
increase their lifetime value.
It truly is.
So I want you to consider allthese things self-reflection,
being more transparent in yourcommunication and really
embracing vulnerability, becauseif we can do this, then we can
(20:42):
embrace who we are moreauthentically, day by day.
It's not going to happenovernight.
It's a journey, it's going tobe a process, but I think that
starting here is what we need inorder to break through this.
I feel like this infinite wallthat's up that we can't seem to
just peel fully away, and so myhope is that this will get us
(21:06):
thinking more and more about howwe can be more authentic, how
we can be more of ourselves inour industry, despite what you
may commonly see, because thatis what's going to help you
stand out.
This will help you connect withthe right people, the people
you're meant to serve, andthat's what's going to help your
business grow.
So I want to hear from you.
Listen, I want you to tell mehow you are showing up more
(21:28):
authentically in your space.
Reach out on Instagram orLinkedIn, shoot me a DM, you
know, just share with me yourexperience.
I really, really do want tohear more.
I want to understand where weall are in this journey, and
then I want us to continue towork on this.
I don't want this to be theonly conversation that we have
around the power of authenticityand how we can embrace it.
(21:50):
I want us to continue to talkabout it and I want us to
continue to grow in this area.
So this won't be the lastepisode on this topic.
We're going to do this again,but I really do hope that you
remember that your authenticityis your superpower, so I want
you to embrace it and I want youto watch how it transforms your
(22:11):
consulting practice.
All right, guys, I will talk toyou later.
Have a great one.
Thank you for tuning in to theBlack Girls Consulting Podcast.
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to leave your review on
Apple Podcasts, subscribe andshare it with a friend.
We're on a mission to increasethe success and longevity of
(22:31):
women in consulting, and you canhelp us do just that.
Also, I'd love to hear from you, so let's connect at Dr
Angelina Davis on Instagram orLinkedIn, and don't forget to
visit excelatconsultingcom formore information to support your
consulting journey.
Until next time, keep breakingglass ceiling, all right, take
(22:51):
care.
They say, the odds are stacked against us as women,
especially women of color,trying to thrive in the
consulting world.
But rather than wait for a seatat the table that may never
come, what if we build our owntables?
What if we channeled ourtalents into guiding each other
towards the success we deserve?
Welcome to the Black GirlsConsulting Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and I've walked the path
(00:25):
from healthcare consultant to amentor for women like you,
ambitious, unstoppable and readyto make waves in the consulting
world.
This podcast is your go-to spotfor all things entrepreneurial
consulting.
For us as women, especiallywomen of color, think of it as
your weekly coffee date with afriend who's here to dish out
real talk on building a solidbusiness, elevating your thought
(00:48):
leadership and mastering thatall important mindset.
And let's not forget, we'redoing all of this while
balancing day jobs, family lifeand running teams.
Yes, we can do it all.
So if you're ready to dive intohow you can grow a thriving
consultancy or get strategiesand insights that actually fit
your busy lifestyle, then you'rein the right place.
(01:09):
Grab your coffee, tea or, hey,even a glass of wine, I won't
judge and let's get started.
Hello, hello, hello.
Welcome to the Black GirlsConsulting Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and I could not wait to
(01:30):
talk to you today because I waswatching an episode on one of
our major news channels.
I can't remember if it was CNNor MSNBC.
Either way, if you are not inthe US, just to fill you in,
we're in the midst of anelection year and whenever
there's an election year, thingsare always a little bit crazy.
(01:51):
But this year in particular,things have gotten just crazier
than ever.
So I was listening in on one ofthe shows and trying to gauge
where things were going, movingforward after a big announcement
, and at the time I was just allcaught up in the news of the
(02:11):
day, not necessarily thinkingabout anything related to the
business or anything related toconsulting whatsoever.
But when I heard this, thisstood out so much that I knew
this was a message that neededto be shared and I knew this was
a topic that we needed to havein more detail on the podcast.
(02:34):
So let me just explain exactlywhat happened.
Like I said, I was watching TV.
I was watching the commentary onthe upcoming election this is
right after President Bidendecided not to run for
reelection and the panelists whowas on the show was arguing
that if Vice President KamalaHarris actually became the
(02:55):
presidential candidate for theDemocratic Party, that her only
chance of winning would be ifshe were more authentic.
And they said this quoteexactly she just needs to be
herself.
That's what they said and itstood out to me so loudly.
I could not help but just bestruck by the fact that this was
(03:17):
the perfect example of oureveryday struggle as women, and
especially as women of color, tofit in with what others deem to
be quote unquote professional,and I saw this comment as being
something that the commentatorprobably meant no harm by saying
, and actually, in all honesty,I will agree that it is true,
(03:40):
but it was strange hearing itbecause I felt very attacked in
that moment, if I was to betransparent.
I felt attacked because I knowhow hard it is to show up every
day in a professional orcorporate environment and for
someone to tell you to beyourself when everything about
that environment requires you tobe different.
(04:03):
Right, I'm sure you all canrelate to this, and what I was
thinking is that even the vicepresident of the United States
seemingly struggles with fittinginto this box and, let's be
honest, the nonstop critiquesand judgments that she
experiences makes it that muchharder for her to be 100%
(04:24):
authentic, and I know that,although we're not the president
of the United States, the vicepresident of the United States
are running for a major election.
We as women, especially womenof color in this consulting
world have been there.
As women, we often feel, youknow, this pressure to conform
to old school, cisgender, white,male, hyper competitive spaces
(04:48):
and we feel like we have to dothat to just be taken seriously.
Look, that's one of the reasonswhy I believe the pantsuit
became so big, if you noticethat Kamala often wears her
pantsuit rather than a skirt andone of the reasons that's the
case is because we feel as if weneed to show up differently to
be taken seriously and tocompete head to head with our
(05:12):
male counterparts.
Now, I don't believe that'snecessary.
I believe that she's asintelligent, strong and capable
in a skirt and heels as shewould be in a pantsuit and
converse a pantsuit and flats.
But the point is that we oftenfeel as if we cannot show up as
who we truly are, and it's theserestrictive norms of the world
(05:36):
that make it very challengingfor us to embrace this whole
concept of being authentic, andwe hear it all the time
Authenticity is the key tosuccess.
You have to be authentic soothers can relate to you.
We hear that authenticity isthe key, but how can we really
embrace that?
How can we embrace beingauthentic when the world is
(05:57):
telling us not to be ourselves?
This is the conversation I wantto have today.
So now I want you to imaginehow transformative your business
can actually become if youweren't able to be who you truly
are without having the need towear this mask or to switch into
(06:18):
a different person the minuteyou walk through the door.
Okay, as a matter of fact, Ican relate so much that, if
you've been listening to thepodcast, you know that I
dedicated a whole year to myyear of bold.
It was all about me trying toshow up more boldly in this
space, to speak my mind, to leaninto who I am authentically and
listen.
Now, that needs to be an entiredecade.
(06:42):
You hear me?
A whole decade or more.
It clearly was not somethingthat I accomplished in a year.
It's something that I'm stillcontinuing to work on and to
explore.
So in this episode, I want usto talk about how we might have
struggled with being authenticin our practice thus far, but
then how we can actually beginto turn our authenticity the way
(07:05):
that we are who we arenaturally into our superpower.
A thriving consulting businessis built on a solid business
foundation and a consulting codethat leads you toward your
ideal business and your ideallifestyle.
And the great thing about thiscode is that it works for any
type of consulting practice,whether you help clients with
(07:27):
professional development,business management, grant
writing, it or somethingentirely different.
This consulting code is notrocket science and it's not
beyond your reach, and when youcrack the code, it can jumpstart
the growth of your soloconsulting practice and is what
you need to know to get startedand land your first clients, and
(07:47):
nothing more.
This is a step-by-step processI wish I had so many years ago,
and that's why I wanted to sharethis with you and how you can
do this too.
So if you're interested instarting your consulting
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(08:08):
Visit wwwexcelatconsultingcomfor more information.
So first let me say that thereare a lot of common
misconceptions when it comes toauthenticity.
Many consultants believe thatwe need to show up as this
perfectly polished corporateimage in order to be successful,
(08:32):
then we need to fit a certainmold that is highly consistent
with what we have traditionallythought of in consulting, which,
let's be honest, is usually anolder white male.
That's just, I mean.
That's just the truth.
And when we don't fit into that, somehow we begin to question
whether or not we have theability to be taken seriously or
(08:54):
to be as successful as ourcounterparts.
But really, authenticity isabout showing up as who you
truly are and not some idealizedversion of what you think
clients want to see.
Because, see, this is the thingwe're trying to get into the
minds of our clients when, inall actuality, we don't even
(09:16):
know if they like the currenttraditional image that they're
forced to accept.
However, I do want toacknowledge that it is natural
to fear judgment or to worryabout rejection.
That is a natural emotion thatany of us are going to feel as
humans.
I feel that myself.
But we have to push againstthat, because if we want to show
(09:41):
up as someone that people cantrust, that they feel like they
can relate to, then we need tobe real, we need to be ourselves
.
Being anything else is not beingwho the person is actually
going to work with, andoftentimes that is just very
(10:02):
hard to overcome, no matter howhard we try.
So if we've struggled withauthenticity before, then you
may have felt some of thesethings.
One is a lack ofself-reflection, meaning that
you haven't taken the time toreflect on what makes you unique
and valuable, and so, becauseyou haven't reflected on that,
(10:23):
it's hard to know exactly whatpeople truly are drawn to, are
attracted to, what they see asbeing a differentiator when it
comes to comparing you withothers in your industry.
Another thing is that there'slikely a fear of judgment.
If we're just real about it,many times when we are concerned
(10:45):
about being authentic or wehave difficulty being our
authentic selves, we fear thatothers may look at us
differently.
They may not see us as being asintelligent, they may not see
us as being as smart, they maynot see us as being as capable
or even attractive.
That comes into our mindssometimes as women, but I want
(11:05):
you to remember that the rightclients, the ones that are meant
for you, are going to see thevalue that you offer, and the
ones that are insistent onseeing something different,
they're going to always see that, no matter what.
So the last thing is thatinconsistent authenticity
meaning that you're trying to beconsistent sometimes.
(11:28):
Other times you have difficultywith it.
You go back and forth, showingup differently depending upon
the space, the time, who you'rearound.
That can actually chip away attrust and credibility, because
the person doesn't know what toexpect.
You know they may see you beingone way on one podcast and then
when you go on another podcast,you're talking a little bit
(11:49):
differently.
Maybe you're showing up onYouTube one way but then showing
up on LinkedIn another.
Maybe you're on your podcast,like I am now, and being
completely different than beingonline on LinkedIn.
If I'm doing any of thosethings, please let me know.
I don't want to do that, but thepoint is that we all struggle
(12:10):
with this right.
I don't think anyone is immuneto it.
So, because we know that a lotof what we are dealing with is
centered around the fact that wehave not taken the time to do
self-reflection, that we fearjudgment and that there is
potentially inconsistencies withhow we're showing up as our
(12:30):
true selves, then when we thinkabout the steps that we can take
to correct those things, it'sgoing to be pushing back on
those, on those beliefs, right?
And so I want to talk now abouthow we can take some actionable
steps, and these are steps thatI am working on myself.
These are steps that I havebeen, you know, even thinking
(12:51):
more deeply about after watchingthat panelists make their
comments and thinking about thefact that these are things that
are even affecting someone whohas accomplished so much on a
world stage, and thinking abouthow can we continue this journey
(13:13):
of being able to fully embraceourselves authentically.
And it does start withself-reflection.
I want us to take some time toreally think about our unique
strengths and values.
I don't think we give ourselvesenough credit.
We take for granted so muchthat we bring to the table that
(13:35):
truly is an added value and aunique strength.
That is insane.
So I want us to take time tothink about those qualities,
think about how our abilitiesshine through in our work.
So how are we able toincorporate the uniqueness of
who we are into the work that wedo, into our client
(13:57):
interactions?
So think about this, even ifyou had a journal on it what
makes you you, what makes youdifferent?
I know for myself I had to thinklong and hard about you know
what really is special, and Inoticed one trait to be very
common about the way I practiceand the way I work with clients,
and it is my empathy.
(14:19):
It's my empathy and also myfriendliness.
I know that sometimes it cancome off as being soft for some
people to be more empathetic andto be more caring and more
nurturing, but that's somethingthat is actually a strength of
mine.
I truly see that as a strengthand for those who want to go on
(14:41):
this journey of becoming abetter consultant, building
their business and havingsomeone in their corner that
supports them and understandsthe unique challenges that they
face, for that person that I'mmeant to serve, that's a
strength.
And it wasn't until Iunderstood that fully that I
felt more comfortable evensmiling more often on photos,
(15:02):
because before I have a hugesmile, huge smile.
It's something that peoplecompliment me on, but something
I've always felt veryself-conscious about and tried
to hide, because I was alwaystrained that to show up that way
.
Really, I guess I would say Iworked against me when it came
to showing up as a strong youknow, strong player at the table
(15:24):
.
But what I noticed over time isthat that's what drew the right
people that I'm meant to serveto me, and the more I leaned
into that, the more I didn'tapologize for showing up that
way.
The more that I createdprograms and services that were
more nurturing, that were morecaring about unique
circumstances, then I thrived,my business thrived.
(15:46):
So I want us to reflect onthose types of things, write
that down journal about it,really figure out what it is
that is unique to you, that isvaluable.
And then the second thing is tobe very transparent in the way
you communicate, and often weare very cautious about what we
(16:07):
say.
As a matter of fact, I'velearned over time to have these
slower pauses in the way that Ispeak, and I know it's because
I'm thinking about what to sayand what not to say.
And although you know hey,listen, you don't want to just
run off at the mouth and justmake a taboo and say anything At
the same time you want thecomfort of just easily flowing
(16:28):
with your conversation.
So try starting your clientmeetings by sharing a little bit
about your journey.
Tell your client a little bitabout why you do what you do
Really set the stage for them totrust you, for them to build a
relationship with you, not thatimage that you're trying to
portray online.
Not that image that you feltlike you had to portray at your
job.
Not that image that you'retrying to portray online at the
image that you felt like you hadto portray at your job.
(16:50):
Not the mask that you had towear, that you had to wear every
time you stepped into acorporate environment.
I want you to start sharing alittle bit more about you who
you are, how you think, what'syour philosophy, what's your
prescription, how you've beeneducated, what you value all
those things your beliefs sharethat those are the things that
(17:12):
your clients can connect with,and this is a vast difference to
how many of the traditionalconsulting firms actually handle
their clients.
They're not as open andtransparent in their
communication, and so one of thethings that actually results in
is people not having a lot oftrust that you are there to
(17:32):
serve them instead of havingyour best interest at heart.
So be more transparent in yourcommunication.
Say what you really think.
If you think that their idea isbad, tell them.
Tell them that's what they want.
That's what they are paying youfor.
They want that transparentcommunication, and the more we
can be more transparent in theway that we communicate, the
(17:55):
more we're going to embrace whowe naturally are, because we're
not filtering it through theshoulds and the coulds and the
woulds and the you need tos ofthe world.
You're just saying what youthink.
You're using your lifeexperience, you're using your
viewpoint and your perspectiveto provide insight.
(18:16):
That's what they're paying youfor, that's what your client
wants.
I know we don't feel like itsometimes, we feel like we need
to show up differently, but thatis really what they desire.
And then the last thing isgetting comfortable with
embracing vulnerability.
Now, this is the part, I think,that gives us all a little bit
(18:37):
of an ease, becausevulnerability sounds like we
need to pour out all of ourstruggles and tell everybody all
of our business and puteverything out in the streets.
That's not what it means.
Vulnerability is not sharingall your business.
Vulnerability is not aboutbeing weak.
It's actually a strength.
(18:57):
It's a strength that reallydoes foster connection and trust
.
It's just like me telling youthat I struggle with all of this
.
Everything that we're talkingabout in this episode today I
struggle with, I'm working on,I'm actively trying to figure
out how can I be more authenticin my practice.
I know that if I can just tellyou everything that I have gone
(19:18):
through as a woman in consulting, as a black woman in consulting
, it's going to make yourjourney a lot easier, but I
struggle with being thatvulnerable.
So I think that being able tosay that, hopefully, will help
you.
Relate to the fact that you'renot alone, that we all struggle
with being more vulnerable andsharing these things that we see
(19:40):
as weaknesses or embarrassments, and being able to use that to
help others.
To help others feel as if theycan make it too, because they've
seen you accomplish that goaldespite those challenges.
That's what the vulnerabilityactually does and that's what
(20:01):
also ties people into followingyour approach, following your
process, because they have abetter understanding as to who
and what it applies to.
They can put a greater contextaround what you're saying.
So this vulnerability that I'murging you to show is a very
(20:21):
impactful way to connect withyour clients and to grow and to
increase their lifetime value.
It truly is.
So I want you to consider allthese things self-reflection,
being more transparent in yourcommunication and really
embracing vulnerability, becauseif we can do this, then we can
(20:42):
embrace who we are moreauthentically, day by day.
It's not going to happenovernight.
It's a journey, it's going tobe a process, but I think that
starting here is what we need inorder to break through this.
I feel like this infinite wallthat's up that we can't seem to
just peel fully away, and so myhope is that this will get us
(21:06):
thinking more and more about howwe can be more authentic, how
we can be more of ourselves inour industry, despite what you
may commonly see, because thatis what's going to help you
stand out.
This will help you connect withthe right people, the people
you're meant to serve, andthat's what's going to help your
business grow.
So I want to hear from you.
Listen, I want you to tell mehow you are showing up more
(21:28):
authentically in your space.
Reach out on Instagram orLinkedIn, shoot me a DM, you
know, just share with me yourexperience.
I really, really do want tohear more.
I want to understand where weall are in this journey, and
then I want us to continue towork on this.
I don't want this to be theonly conversation that we have
around the power of authenticityand how we can embrace it.
(21:50):
I want us to continue to talkabout it and I want us to
continue to grow in this area.
So this won't be the lastepisode on this topic.
We're going to do this again,but I really do hope that you
remember that your authenticityis your superpower, so I want
you to embrace it and I want youto watch how it transforms your
(22:11):
consulting practice.
All right, guys, I will talk toyou later.
Have a great one.
Thank you for tuning in to theBlack Girls Consulting Podcast.
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to leave your review on
Apple Podcasts, subscribe andshare it with a friend.
We're on a mission to increasethe success and longevity of
(22:31):
women in consulting, and you canhelp us do just that.
Also, I'd love to hear from you, so let's connect at Dr
Angelina Davis on Instagram orLinkedIn, and don't forget to
visit excelatconsultingcom formore information to support your
consulting journey.
Until next time, keep breakingglass ceiling, all right, take
(22:51):
care.
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