June 27, 2023 • 32 mins
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Are you convinced that showing your softer side may look unprofessional and hamper your chances of success? Shake off these misconceptions and confront these fears head-on as we redefine the role of vulnerability in marketing your consulting business.
Together, we will examine society's age-old conditioning that equates vulnerability with weakness and how this view can curtail our potential. We'll explore the strength that lies in letting our guard down, presenting our authentic selves, and fostering deeper connections of trust and empathy. We'll uncover the power that comes from embracing our uniqueness, as we share our experiences and insights to create an impactful expert brand that truly represents who we are. Tune in now.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
When you're thinking about visibility showing up
online, going to speak, writinga book, whatever it may be to
get your name out there, to beseen in your industry and your
space it requires you to bevulnerable And, let's be honest,
that's often what many of usfear most, because vulnerability
(00:21):
means that you're going to beseen.
It means that people are goingto know more about you and they
may see something that theydon't like, and unfortunately,
that causes a lot of anxiety inmost cases.
But in order for us to be morevisible, to get our businesses
out there, to create more brandawareness and to eventually land
(00:44):
more clients and make moresales all of those things we
have to get comfortable withbeing vulnerable.
So in this episode we're goingto talk about how we can do this
, that There's a misconceptionthat we don't exist, that
somehow our ability to excel atthe highest level of our
(01:07):
industry is limited, thatovercoming barriers as a woman
of color would be insurmountable.
But what would happen if wedecided to venture out on our
own, despite everything we're upagainst?
I'll tell you Welcome to theBlack Girls Consult 2 podcast.
I'm your host, dr Angelina Davis, a healthcare consultant,
(01:27):
consulting coach, highperformance fanatic wife and
proud girl mom.
I help transform femaleprofessionals into thriving solo
consultants And, just like you,i'm wearing all the hats and
doing all the things.
So this podcast is to empowerthe busy female professionals to
move past fear to start andgrow a successful consulting
(01:48):
business, despite the obstaclesyou may encounter.
We'll dive deep into consultingpractice, business strategy
mindset and more.
So grab your cup of coffee ortea, if that's your thing, and
let's get started.
(02:11):
Hello and welcome to the BlackGirls Consult 2 podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and today we are going to
talk about vulnerabilitybecause, let's be honest, many
of us my clue to myselfvulnerability just doesn't feel
good.
Right, it doesn't feel good tolet people in, especially people
(02:32):
you don't know or people youfeel may judge you.
It can be very hard And byavoiding being vulnerable, we
end up holding ourselves back,and that's one of the things
that I found to be one of mybiggest challenges when I first
started out.
I didn't know how to show upand be vulnerable and still be
(02:52):
able to maintain this sense ofprofessionalism that I feel like
I had to have.
I mean, picture this if you'rein a room full of industry
professionals, the people thatyou work with your colleagues,
people that you know in yourspace, and everybody's all
poised and confident and all puttogether You don't want to be
(03:13):
the one in the midst of all ofit who's standing out,
especially not standing out fora situation or circumstance that
you feel doesn't paint you inthe best like.
Those are the instances and thetimes where we become very
vulnerable and it is scary tothink about how people may think
(03:34):
of us or may judge us.
And although we're beinggenuine and we're not being
afraid to show our true selves,the thing is is that it's still
scary, it's still uncomfortable.
But I want to just stress thatthe power of vulnerability is
real.
It is real And the thing is,the more that we're able and
(03:59):
willing to be open and honestand authentic, even though it
feels uncomfortable and eventhough it feels risky, the more
it's going to pay off.
I mean, unfortunately,vulnerability has often been
seen as a weakness in manysettings, especially when it
comes to professional settings.
So we've climbed thesecorporate ladders by being
(04:21):
poised and professional in doingthe things that we needed to do
in order to show up in ourstrength.
The thought of somehowdismantling that and being seen
as weak or not, as polished ornot as poised or not as put
together.
However you want to phrase it,the thought of being vulnerable
(04:42):
in that space seems as if itgoes against everything we've
been taught.
It's almost like we're movingbackwards instead of moving
forwards, and it feels as if weare creating a weakness for
ourselves, that somehow we'reshooting ourselves in the foot
by doing so.
But vulnerability actually issomething that people resonate
(05:04):
with On every level, whetherit's in the corporate space or
entrepreneurial space.
People resonate with the factthat you're being real and
honest and sincere.
People connect with the factthat you're able to share your
story, and share when things mayhave not have gone right or
when they've gone wrong, orcelebrate with you when it's
(05:27):
been so exciting to make apositive change.
They want to feel like theyknow you and, all in all,
vulnerability will build adeeper level of trust and
empathy that it can do nothingbut help us in the end.
So the question is why do wefeel like vulnerability is a bad
(05:51):
thing?
Why are we so hesitant toreally let our guard down and be
more vulnerable in ourprofessional and business lives?
Well, let's explore that.
Let's explore this wholeconcept of being vulnerable,
because I think, if we breakthis down a bit, it's going to
(06:11):
help us to show up moreconsistently, to be more visible
in whatever capacity thatyou're trying to be visible in
your business so that you canmarket and promote your services
more effectively.
It's going to help you do thatbecause you will be able to
embrace vulnerability.
(06:32):
So we're going to do this worktogether.
We're going to explore thiswhole concept of vulnerability
And I think one of the firstplaces that we need to start is
with society as a whole, because, in all honesty, society has
conditioned us to believe thatvulnerability is a liability,
(06:54):
meaning that if we show ourweaknesses, if we expose our
weaknesses to others, thatpeople will see, that will
target it, take advantage of itand pretty much expose every
negative thing possible about us, about our business, about
(07:15):
anything and everything in ourlives, and that attack will
cause us harm.
So it's natural for us to feellike, in order to protect
ourselves and shield ourselvesfrom something like that
happening, that we would not bevulnerable, that we would not
expose ourselves, that we wouldnot let people see who we really
(07:36):
are.
That's an easy way to have ashell of protection around us
And oftentimes, especially forprofessional women, especially
for women of color.
We go into our corporateexperiences with the mindset
that we can't let anybody see usbe vulnerable.
(07:59):
I remember having mygrandmother and other women and
my family and in my communitypretty much tell me that I was
to never let anyone see me cry.
I'm sure a lot of you haveheard that.
You probably feel that way.
You probably may even beteaching your children those
same principles and concepts.
(08:19):
I even found myself telling mydaughters that from time to time
, realizing that the reason whywe feel that these comments and
these protective factors existis because if we show that we
are vulnerable or we areexposing our ability to be hurt
(08:42):
or to show weakness, that thatwill give us an inherent
disadvantage That there's somuch that we already have to
fight against.
Being open to showing how thathas hurt you, how that may have
traumatized you or may havecaused you discomfort, is
something that we have beentaught not to do for so long.
(09:06):
Many of us are entire lives.
So now you're taking someonewho has been taught not to be
vulnerable, to appear strong andto appear as if nothing can
break that shell.
You're now trying to force thisperson to show up in a
different way, where they are toopenly express their feelings
(09:30):
and thoughts to people completestrangers on the internet.
Of course that's not going tofeel good.
Of course that's going to feeluncomfortable.
So there's no surprise that wehave trouble doing those things.
It's not surprising that mostpeople don't feel comfortable
talking into a camera tomillions of people in the online
(09:53):
space sharing their ideas andtheir thoughts and their
perspectives.
It's not surprising that thatis something that people don't
want to do because in ourcircumstances, we've been taught
not to do those things, not toshow that level of vulnerability
.
But here's the truth.
(10:13):
The truth is that vulnerabilityis actually what takes more
strength.
Right, it's actually the thingthat takes more courage.
It means that you acknowledgethe fact that you have this fear
and that you have theseinsecurities, and, although you
have these fears or theseinsecurities or these things
that you may find are not,quote-unquote perfect in your
(10:36):
world, that you're okay withthat being present, and you know
that that being present doesn'tsay anything about you.
It does not determine youroutcome and your success.
It is simply an aspect of yourlife experience that you are
(10:58):
allowing other people to see,and so one of the things that we
have to begin to do is find thecourage so that we don't let
our fears and insecurities keepus from achieving our goals and
hold us back and limit ourpotential.
It really does start withrecognizing that vulnerability
(11:21):
is not synonymous with failureor incompetence.
It's not weakness.
Vulnerability is about beinghuman.
So when you show up and you'reexpressing your feelings, your
thoughts, your hurts, yourdiscomforts, your anger, your
frustration, your wins, yourcelebrations, all of those
(11:42):
aspects positive or negative,good or bad all those vulnerable
moments are a reflection of theups and downs, the ebbs and
flows of life.
They represent what it means tobe human, and this is why it's
such a way to connect.
It connects to your audienceand to the people that you want
(12:05):
to work with, because when youhumanize this aspect of yourself
, it takes a complex topic thatyou may be discussing.
For instance, if you're doingconsulting around HR, or maybe
you're working in public health,or maybe you're working in some
aspect of informationtechnology or IT, whatever it is
(12:25):
that you do, those are complextopics.
There was a heavy topic, so ittakes a lot of knowledge and
understanding to communicatehigher level principles in those
areas.
And so if you're showing up andyou're sharing your information,
it can sound rather textbook,dry, sterile, if it doesn't have
(12:45):
that human touch, if it doesn'tfeel like the information is
being humanized.
And your vulnerability is whatbegins to do that.
When you share your stories,when you share your insight,
your unique perspective, allthose things that make you you,
that allows people to see whyyou have been able to be
(13:08):
successful or face differentchallenges in a positive way,
all of those things are whatmake you, your solution, your
frameworks, your process, allthose things valuable in someone
else's eyes.
It's going to elevate theirperceived value because they can
(13:29):
relate to it.
It's something that theyunderstand.
They understand the humanjourney.
So when we're able to overcomethis barrier of not wanting to
show up and we have the courageto still do so, even though it
feels uncomfortable, we unlockthe power that vulnerability
actually offers.
(13:49):
And so that is one of the firststeps that we have to take is
once again acknowledging that wehave fears and insecurities,
but then having the courage toshow up anyway.
Now the next thing is that partof the power of vulnerability
is being able to reflect onourselves and our personal
(14:13):
growth.
So when you're thinking abouthow you're able to showcase your
services or market yourbusiness, whatever it may be, to
get your name out there and toget more clients and more leads.
When you're able to first ofall reflect on how far you've
(14:35):
come and be open and honestabout that journey, you will not
only help others navigate asimilar path, but then you're
going to also give themsomething to look up to, the
encouragement that they need toknow that they may be starting
right now, but they caneventually reach the level that
(14:55):
you've reached and beyond.
You're going to create bytelling your story, by sharing
those things that you've beenthrough, you're going to create
a level of belief in themselves,in what they can do and
accomplish, that will keep themfrom holding themselves back And
also, by you sharing it, it'sgoing to allow you to grow
(15:16):
further, because you're going toacknowledge what you have
accomplished and where you'vebeen, and it's going to also
remind you of the fact that youwere able to be successful by
keeping the focus on your goalsand your outcomes and moving
forward in taking action.
So it is both a supportivemechanism for those who are
(15:39):
around you, for your work andpeers, but also for yourself as
the person who is sharing yourstory and your experience, and
when we practice this level ofself-compassion and
understanding around our journeyand share that journey with
others, it creates a sense ofpride.
(16:00):
I think oftentimes When you'reable to look back and say to
yourself I originally startedfrom nothing, i didn't have
clients, i didn't know whereclients were going to come from,
i was nervous about showing uponline, i didn't know how to
pitch or to sell my services,but now I can do this with ease.
Number one it helps you to justunderstand what led to that
(16:26):
success so that you can repeatit over and over again and how
you can help others, which canturn into you providing better
and better outcomes for theclients that you work with.
The recommendations, thestrategies, the insight that
you're able to provide as theirconsultant is going to be based
on the experiences that you'vehad over time.
(16:47):
That may not necessarily be tieddirectly to you being visible
for your business, but maybeit's tied to some other aspect
of your journey that you havenot shared with other people.
Maybe it's tied to the mistakethat you made when you were
working with another client, butthe fact that you can
acknowledge those weaknesses andthat vulnerability and be able
(17:08):
to share.
The transition from that isgoing to be the same way that
you're able to help your currentclient navigate a difficult
obstacle that they're currentlyfacing so they can get to the
next step of their journey.
It all goes back to beingcomfortable with being
vulnerable and also goingthrough this process of
self-reflection and personalgrowth that's going to allow you
(17:32):
to develop further and to alsouse those lessons that you've
learned to help others Now.
Additionally, one of the bigthings that is always a barrier
we've talked about this beforein other episodes is this whole
aspect of a posture syndrome,and this imposter syndrome is
something that can fuel itself,especially when we feel the need
(17:54):
to prove ourselves constantlyto other people.
So if vulnerability meansembracing imperfections and
acknowledging that nobody has itall figured out, then it is
going to help alleviate thisaspect of imposter syndrome,
because when you embracevulnerability, you're not going
to feel like an imposter becauseyou're not expecting yourself
(18:17):
to be perfect.
You're expecting yourself to behuman Once again, going back to
that vulnerability being tiedto being human, and that is
going to allow you to show up asyour authentic self and trust
in your expertise and what youcan offer, because you know that
it doesn't have to be perfectin order for you to be
successful, in order for you Todo what you need to do in order
(18:37):
to help the clients that youserve.
So embracing vulnerabilitymeans starting small, taking
these calculated risk, sharingyour ideas, openly, asking for
help when you need it, beinghuman, learning, navigating the
journey and, over time, the morecomfortable and confident
(18:58):
you're going to be with sharingthat.
So the process of beingvulnerable will create a newer
level of confidence and couragethat you need to be even more
active in your business and inthe public.
Now We talked about how youembrace vulnerability, but now
(19:20):
we need to move from justembracing the vulnerability,
recognizing how it can help ourbusiness and help us to Put
ourselves out there and to gainmore visibility and allow us to
be open to Possible critique orjudgment or someone realizing
that we are human, to When I.
We need to move from that pointto truly thinking about how we
(19:43):
can use this vulnerability toamplify our brand and to stand
out in our industry.
A thriving consulting businessis built on a solid business
foundation and a consulting codethat leads you toward your
ideal business and your ideallifestyle, and the great thing
about this code is that it worksfor any type of consulting
(20:05):
practice, whether you helpclients with professional
development, business management, grant writing it or something
entirely different.
This consulting code is notrocket science and is not beyond
your reach, and when you crackthe code, it can jump start the
growth of your solo consultingpractice And is what you need to
know to get started and lendyour first clients, and nothing
(20:25):
more.
This is a step by step processI wish I had so many years ago,
and that's why I wanted to sharethis with you and how you can
do this too.
If you're interested instarting your consulting
business and creating adesirable offer to generate
leads for your offer and to makesales, then the consulting code
(20:46):
is your solution.
Visit wwwexceletconsultingcomfor more information.
Unless you've been hiding undera rock somewhere, i'm sure by
now you're familiar with thefact that personal branding is
big in the entrepreneurial space, is big in the corporate space
(21:07):
as well.
Everyone wants to have anamazing personal brand.
We have been taught and toldthat we need this personal brand
so that we can make a name forourselves, so that we can stand
out, so that we can be seen andwe can be known, and this is
definitely true.
There's value in that.
(21:27):
I want to stress that wedefinitely need to have an
expert brand or personal brandthat centers around our
expertise.
Now, although that's the casethat we need this personal brand
, most people think thatpersonal branding is all about
Funtz and colors and the waythat we are visually appearing
(21:50):
in our business or in the onlinespace, and that's only a small,
small, tiny part of overallbranding.
When it comes to your personalbrand, however, is about Really
being vulnerable when you getdown to it, because part of what
makes a personal brand isauthenticity, is being you, and
(22:16):
the more you can be you, themore you can be authentically
you, the more you're going tocreate a unique brand as
representative of who you areand what your business has to
offer that's different fromeveryone else.
So part of us being able tosuccessfully do this is for us
to be vulnerable, is for us tobe able to play that that role
(22:43):
of unique storytelling, ofsharing All of our inner core
beliefs and values.
The things that we're thinking,the way that we see the world,
the way that we see our industry, the visualization we have for
the future and the work thatwe're currently doing All of
those things begin to build outour personal brand, because we
(23:07):
are embedding within the workthat we do and the stories that
we tell, our unique experiences,our insights, the things that
we've been through, how we'vebeen able to establish ourselves
in the industry, how we havedeveloped our thought leadership
.
All of those things come frombeing vulnerable.
It comes from sharing who youare authentically.
(23:31):
So in order to be authentic,you have to be vulnerable, and
that's the key that reallyunlocks the door to people
paying attention.
People are going to payattention to you because you're
different, your special, yourunique you are.
Your experience is not the sameas anyone else, and the more
that you can share how differentthat experience actually is,
(23:53):
the better.
So if I was to sit here on thispodcast and talk about landing
clients or gaining more business, or even being more vulnerable
From any other perspective thana black woman, a woman of color,
in the corporate academic space, if I was to do that without
(24:15):
sharing that vulnerable aspectof my experience and my life,
then I would be doing you, as alistener, as well as myself, as
someone who wants to make agreater impact, a disservice.
I have to honor all of thechallenges, obstacles that I
have faced, all the things I'vebeen able to overcome, all of
(24:36):
the things I have learned, thedifferent ways that I have
viewed my industry as the goodand bad, all the ways that I
have been able to navigate theindustry differently when I
found obstacles and barriersthat may be tied to me being a
woman in the industry or a womanof color in the industry.
(24:58):
All of those things make myexperience, my perception, what
I can share, the vulnerable wayI could show up on this podcast
different.
It makes it unique, and that isall that we have to do.
It's something that is so hardbecause of this level of
vulnerability that requires, butwhen you really get down to the
(25:19):
nuts and bolts of it, it'srather simple.
It is very simple for us toshare our stories, to share our
insights, experiences andperspective.
The hard part is being willingto be vulnerable enough to do it
.
That's the hard part.
The hardest part is beingvulnerable enough to do it.
(25:41):
This is what I want to challengeyou with today.
I want to challenge you to finda time this week to be more
vulnerable in your marketing andyour communication strategy.
What does this look like?
I want you to find anopportunity, whether it is
(26:05):
online, on LinkedIn or Instagramor Facebook, wherever you are,
or if it's in a conversation, ifyou're doing a workshop or a
facilitation or some othermeeting, or if you're networking
with others and you're in agroup.
I want you to spend some timesharing either a challenge that
you've had recently, a lessonthat you've learned from an
(26:28):
experience It can be currentexperience, past experience, it
doesn't matter, it's a lessonthat you've learned or rather a
moment where you may have hadsome level of doubt or fear.
I want you to think about thosethings Sharing a challenge, a
lesson learned and a doubt orfear.
(26:50):
I want you to do that this weekbecause, if you take the time
out to share this and to getreally vulnerable about it, to
tell the good, bad and the uglyabout the situation, to let
people into how you felt in thatmoment, what you were afraid of
in that moment, if you'retalking about the doubt or fear,
what lesson you learned,especially if it was a lesson
(27:11):
that was very difficult to learn, or maybe it was a lesson that
you learned that let you knowthat you had to navigate your
path differently.
Maybe it was a challenge thatyou faced that you didn't
anticipate, but maybe it wasthere because you are a woman, a
woman of color in your industry.
Or maybe it's there becauseyou're a mom, a working mom, and
(27:31):
you're trying to balance allthese things and still show up
and be as ambitious and drivenas you have always been all your
life.
Whatever it may be, i want youto share this and I want you to
do this in a way that's verytransparent, that's very open,
that's very vulnerable, and thenI want you to sit back and see
(27:51):
how people respond.
That's what I want you to doShare your vulnerability and see
how people respond, and whatI'm going to bet is that people
are going to embrace it.
I can almost guess that in99.999% of cases, when you do
(28:15):
this exercise, that you're goingto find that people not only
resonate with what you shared,but also they are going to more
than likely find a way toempathize with it, celebrate it
or just all out, embrace itfully, wholeheartedly, and that
(28:36):
is going to be evidence to youthat you need to do this more
often.
But I know that it's not goingto happen right away.
I know I can't push you intoshowing up and being extremely
vulnerable when you have been soguarded for so long,
understandably.
But I want you to practice that.
I want you to practice thatthis week, showing your
(28:57):
vulnerability and your marketingcommunication, sharing a
challenge, a lesson learned or amoment of self-doubt or fear,
and look and see how peoplerespond.
Because once you getcomfortable doing this and you
do it more often and I'm notsaying to share all of your
business and put everything outthere, but I really do mean just
(29:20):
showing up more authenticallyand being open to that, open to
making mistakes in public, opento possibly failing in public
All those things can happenbecause, once again, what do we
say?
Because you're a human, notbecause anything is wrong with
you.
But once you're open to that,you will find that you will
(29:40):
begin to build your consultingbusiness because you will gain
more visibility, that you willincrease the connections that
people have with you, you'llstart more conversations that
are going to lead to more salesand you will achieve your
business goals.
I promise All right, guys.
So this brings us to the end oftoday's episode.
(30:01):
I have really enjoyed thisconversation about vulnerability
because I think it's somethingwe don't talk about very often
and it's at the heart of so much, especially at the heart of
being more visible, because itdoes take a lot of vulnerability
to show up online or on a stageor in a book where you're going
to be judged and critiqued byothers.
At least so we think, and Iwant to.
(30:22):
Under that, i want to tell youit's okay to feel uncomfortable
in this moment.
It's okay not to want to dothose things.
I know what it feels like,trust me.
I know what it feels like notto want to have to go on camera
or go live or say a speech orgive a presentation.
I get it, i've been through allof it And so I can relate.
(30:45):
But I also know that me beingable to share with you that I
can relate to those things isprobably making you feel a
little bit better right now.
So I hope that all of theseexamples allow you to embrace
vulnerability a little bit more,because, at the end of the day,
your ability to be vulnerableand authentic is actually the
(31:07):
superpower that's going to setyou apart.
All right Now, if you enjoyedthis episode, don't forget, as
usual, share with a friend, tellsomeone, make sure that you
reach out to me on Instagram andLinkedIn.
Always like to have thoseconversations.
I say that every episodebecause I really do mean it.
And also, if you haven'tsubscribed yet, what are you
(31:28):
waiting for?
I need you to subscribe to thischannel so you'll know when
another episode drops.
But until the next time, i hopeyou have a great week and I'll
talk to you later.
Take care, bye.
Thanks for watching, take care.
When you're thinking about visibility showing up
online, going to speak, writinga book, whatever it may be to
get your name out there, to beseen in your industry and your
space it requires you to bevulnerable And, let's be honest,
that's often what many of usfear most, because vulnerability
(00:21):
means that you're going to beseen.
It means that people are goingto know more about you and they
may see something that theydon't like, and unfortunately,
that causes a lot of anxiety inmost cases.
But in order for us to be morevisible, to get our businesses
out there, to create more brandawareness and to eventually land
(00:44):
more clients and make moresales all of those things we
have to get comfortable withbeing vulnerable.
So in this episode we're goingto talk about how we can do this
, that There's a misconceptionthat we don't exist, that
somehow our ability to excel atthe highest level of our
(01:07):
industry is limited, thatovercoming barriers as a woman
of color would be insurmountable.
But what would happen if wedecided to venture out on our
own, despite everything we're upagainst?
I'll tell you Welcome to theBlack Girls Consult 2 podcast.
I'm your host, dr Angelina Davis, a healthcare consultant,
(01:27):
consulting coach, highperformance fanatic wife and
proud girl mom.
I help transform femaleprofessionals into thriving solo
consultants And, just like you,i'm wearing all the hats and
doing all the things.
So this podcast is to empowerthe busy female professionals to
move past fear to start andgrow a successful consulting
(01:48):
business, despite the obstaclesyou may encounter.
We'll dive deep into consultingpractice, business strategy
mindset and more.
So grab your cup of coffee ortea, if that's your thing, and
let's get started.
(02:11):
Hello and welcome to the BlackGirls Consult 2 podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and today we are going to
talk about vulnerabilitybecause, let's be honest, many
of us my clue to myselfvulnerability just doesn't feel
good.
Right, it doesn't feel good tolet people in, especially people
(02:32):
you don't know or people youfeel may judge you.
It can be very hard And byavoiding being vulnerable, we
end up holding ourselves back,and that's one of the things
that I found to be one of mybiggest challenges when I first
started out.
I didn't know how to show upand be vulnerable and still be
(02:52):
able to maintain this sense ofprofessionalism that I feel like
I had to have.
I mean, picture this if you'rein a room full of industry
professionals, the people thatyou work with your colleagues,
people that you know in yourspace, and everybody's all
poised and confident and all puttogether You don't want to be
(03:13):
the one in the midst of all ofit who's standing out,
especially not standing out fora situation or circumstance that
you feel doesn't paint you inthe best like.
Those are the instances and thetimes where we become very
vulnerable and it is scary tothink about how people may think
(03:34):
of us or may judge us.
And although we're beinggenuine and we're not being
afraid to show our true selves,the thing is is that it's still
scary, it's still uncomfortable.
But I want to just stress thatthe power of vulnerability is
real.
It is real And the thing is,the more that we're able and
(03:59):
willing to be open and honestand authentic, even though it
feels uncomfortable and eventhough it feels risky, the more
it's going to pay off.
I mean, unfortunately,vulnerability has often been
seen as a weakness in manysettings, especially when it
comes to professional settings.
So we've climbed thesecorporate ladders by being
(04:21):
poised and professional in doingthe things that we needed to do
in order to show up in ourstrength.
The thought of somehowdismantling that and being seen
as weak or not, as polished ornot as poised or not as put
together.
However you want to phrase it,the thought of being vulnerable
(04:42):
in that space seems as if itgoes against everything we've
been taught.
It's almost like we're movingbackwards instead of moving
forwards, and it feels as if weare creating a weakness for
ourselves, that somehow we'reshooting ourselves in the foot
by doing so.
But vulnerability actually issomething that people resonate
(05:04):
with On every level, whetherit's in the corporate space or
entrepreneurial space.
People resonate with the factthat you're being real and
honest and sincere.
People connect with the factthat you're able to share your
story, and share when things mayhave not have gone right or
when they've gone wrong, orcelebrate with you when it's
(05:27):
been so exciting to make apositive change.
They want to feel like theyknow you and, all in all,
vulnerability will build adeeper level of trust and
empathy that it can do nothingbut help us in the end.
So the question is why do wefeel like vulnerability is a bad
(05:51):
thing?
Why are we so hesitant toreally let our guard down and be
more vulnerable in ourprofessional and business lives?
Well, let's explore that.
Let's explore this wholeconcept of being vulnerable,
because I think, if we breakthis down a bit, it's going to
(06:11):
help us to show up moreconsistently, to be more visible
in whatever capacity thatyou're trying to be visible in
your business so that you canmarket and promote your services
more effectively.
It's going to help you do thatbecause you will be able to
embrace vulnerability.
(06:32):
So we're going to do this worktogether.
We're going to explore thiswhole concept of vulnerability
And I think one of the firstplaces that we need to start is
with society as a whole, because, in all honesty, society has
conditioned us to believe thatvulnerability is a liability,
(06:54):
meaning that if we show ourweaknesses, if we expose our
weaknesses to others, thatpeople will see, that will
target it, take advantage of itand pretty much expose every
negative thing possible about us, about our business, about
(07:15):
anything and everything in ourlives, and that attack will
cause us harm.
So it's natural for us to feellike, in order to protect
ourselves and shield ourselvesfrom something like that
happening, that we would not bevulnerable, that we would not
expose ourselves, that we wouldnot let people see who we really
(07:36):
are.
That's an easy way to have ashell of protection around us
And oftentimes, especially forprofessional women, especially
for women of color.
We go into our corporateexperiences with the mindset
that we can't let anybody see usbe vulnerable.
(07:59):
I remember having mygrandmother and other women and
my family and in my communitypretty much tell me that I was
to never let anyone see me cry.
I'm sure a lot of you haveheard that.
You probably feel that way.
You probably may even beteaching your children those
same principles and concepts.
(08:19):
I even found myself telling mydaughters that from time to time
, realizing that the reason whywe feel that these comments and
these protective factors existis because if we show that we
are vulnerable or we areexposing our ability to be hurt
(08:42):
or to show weakness, that thatwill give us an inherent
disadvantage That there's somuch that we already have to
fight against.
Being open to showing how thathas hurt you, how that may have
traumatized you or may havecaused you discomfort, is
something that we have beentaught not to do for so long.
(09:06):
Many of us are entire lives.
So now you're taking someonewho has been taught not to be
vulnerable, to appear strong andto appear as if nothing can
break that shell.
You're now trying to force thisperson to show up in a
different way, where they are toopenly express their feelings
(09:30):
and thoughts to people completestrangers on the internet.
Of course that's not going tofeel good.
Of course that's going to feeluncomfortable.
So there's no surprise that wehave trouble doing those things.
It's not surprising that mostpeople don't feel comfortable
talking into a camera tomillions of people in the online
(09:53):
space sharing their ideas andtheir thoughts and their
perspectives.
It's not surprising that thatis something that people don't
want to do because in ourcircumstances, we've been taught
not to do those things, not toshow that level of vulnerability
.
But here's the truth.
(10:13):
The truth is that vulnerabilityis actually what takes more
strength.
Right, it's actually the thingthat takes more courage.
It means that you acknowledgethe fact that you have this fear
and that you have theseinsecurities, and, although you
have these fears or theseinsecurities or these things
that you may find are not,quote-unquote perfect in your
(10:36):
world, that you're okay withthat being present, and you know
that that being present doesn'tsay anything about you.
It does not determine youroutcome and your success.
It is simply an aspect of yourlife experience that you are
(10:58):
allowing other people to see,and so one of the things that we
have to begin to do is find thecourage so that we don't let
our fears and insecurities keepus from achieving our goals and
hold us back and limit ourpotential.
It really does start withrecognizing that vulnerability
(11:21):
is not synonymous with failureor incompetence.
It's not weakness.
Vulnerability is about beinghuman.
So when you show up and you'reexpressing your feelings, your
thoughts, your hurts, yourdiscomforts, your anger, your
frustration, your wins, yourcelebrations, all of those
(11:42):
aspects positive or negative,good or bad all those vulnerable
moments are a reflection of theups and downs, the ebbs and
flows of life.
They represent what it means tobe human, and this is why it's
such a way to connect.
It connects to your audienceand to the people that you want
(12:05):
to work with, because when youhumanize this aspect of yourself
, it takes a complex topic thatyou may be discussing.
For instance, if you're doingconsulting around HR, or maybe
you're working in public health,or maybe you're working in some
aspect of informationtechnology or IT, whatever it is
(12:25):
that you do, those are complextopics.
There was a heavy topic, so ittakes a lot of knowledge and
understanding to communicatehigher level principles in those
areas.
And so if you're showing up andyou're sharing your information,
it can sound rather textbook,dry, sterile, if it doesn't have
(12:45):
that human touch, if it doesn'tfeel like the information is
being humanized.
And your vulnerability is whatbegins to do that.
When you share your stories,when you share your insight,
your unique perspective, allthose things that make you you,
that allows people to see whyyou have been able to be
(13:08):
successful or face differentchallenges in a positive way,
all of those things are whatmake you, your solution, your
frameworks, your process, allthose things valuable in someone
else's eyes.
It's going to elevate theirperceived value because they can
(13:29):
relate to it.
It's something that theyunderstand.
They understand the humanjourney.
So when we're able to overcomethis barrier of not wanting to
show up and we have the courageto still do so, even though it
feels uncomfortable, we unlockthe power that vulnerability
actually offers.
(13:49):
And so that is one of the firststeps that we have to take is
once again acknowledging that wehave fears and insecurities,
but then having the courage toshow up anyway.
Now the next thing is that partof the power of vulnerability
is being able to reflect onourselves and our personal
(14:13):
growth.
So when you're thinking abouthow you're able to showcase your
services or market yourbusiness, whatever it may be, to
get your name out there and toget more clients and more leads.
When you're able to first ofall reflect on how far you've
(14:35):
come and be open and honestabout that journey, you will not
only help others navigate asimilar path, but then you're
going to also give themsomething to look up to, the
encouragement that they need toknow that they may be starting
right now, but they caneventually reach the level that
(14:55):
you've reached and beyond.
You're going to create bytelling your story, by sharing
those things that you've beenthrough, you're going to create
a level of belief in themselves,in what they can do and
accomplish, that will keep themfrom holding themselves back And
also, by you sharing it, it'sgoing to allow you to grow
(15:16):
further, because you're going toacknowledge what you have
accomplished and where you'vebeen, and it's going to also
remind you of the fact that youwere able to be successful by
keeping the focus on your goalsand your outcomes and moving
forward in taking action.
So it is both a supportivemechanism for those who are
(15:39):
around you, for your work andpeers, but also for yourself as
the person who is sharing yourstory and your experience, and
when we practice this level ofself-compassion and
understanding around our journeyand share that journey with
others, it creates a sense ofpride.
(16:00):
I think oftentimes When you'reable to look back and say to
yourself I originally startedfrom nothing, i didn't have
clients, i didn't know whereclients were going to come from,
i was nervous about showing uponline, i didn't know how to
pitch or to sell my services,but now I can do this with ease.
Number one it helps you to justunderstand what led to that
(16:26):
success so that you can repeatit over and over again and how
you can help others, which canturn into you providing better
and better outcomes for theclients that you work with.
The recommendations, thestrategies, the insight that
you're able to provide as theirconsultant is going to be based
on the experiences that you'vehad over time.
(16:47):
That may not necessarily be tieddirectly to you being visible
for your business, but maybeit's tied to some other aspect
of your journey that you havenot shared with other people.
Maybe it's tied to the mistakethat you made when you were
working with another client, butthe fact that you can
acknowledge those weaknesses andthat vulnerability and be able
(17:08):
to share.
The transition from that isgoing to be the same way that
you're able to help your currentclient navigate a difficult
obstacle that they're currentlyfacing so they can get to the
next step of their journey.
It all goes back to beingcomfortable with being
vulnerable and also goingthrough this process of
self-reflection and personalgrowth that's going to allow you
(17:32):
to develop further and to alsouse those lessons that you've
learned to help others Now.
Additionally, one of the bigthings that is always a barrier
we've talked about this beforein other episodes is this whole
aspect of a posture syndrome,and this imposter syndrome is
something that can fuel itself,especially when we feel the need
(17:54):
to prove ourselves constantlyto other people.
So if vulnerability meansembracing imperfections and
acknowledging that nobody has itall figured out, then it is
going to help alleviate thisaspect of imposter syndrome,
because when you embracevulnerability, you're not going
to feel like an imposter becauseyou're not expecting yourself
(18:17):
to be perfect.
You're expecting yourself to behuman Once again, going back to
that vulnerability being tiedto being human, and that is
going to allow you to show up asyour authentic self and trust
in your expertise and what youcan offer, because you know that
it doesn't have to be perfectin order for you to be
successful, in order for you Todo what you need to do in order
(18:37):
to help the clients that youserve.
So embracing vulnerabilitymeans starting small, taking
these calculated risk, sharingyour ideas, openly, asking for
help when you need it, beinghuman, learning, navigating the
journey and, over time, the morecomfortable and confident
(18:58):
you're going to be with sharingthat.
So the process of beingvulnerable will create a newer
level of confidence and couragethat you need to be even more
active in your business and inthe public.
Now We talked about how youembrace vulnerability, but now
(19:20):
we need to move from justembracing the vulnerability,
recognizing how it can help ourbusiness and help us to Put
ourselves out there and to gainmore visibility and allow us to
be open to Possible critique orjudgment or someone realizing
that we are human, to When I.
We need to move from that pointto truly thinking about how we
(19:43):
can use this vulnerability toamplify our brand and to stand
out in our industry.
A thriving consulting businessis built on a solid business
foundation and a consulting codethat leads you toward your
ideal business and your ideallifestyle, and the great thing
about this code is that it worksfor any type of consulting
(20:05):
practice, whether you helpclients with professional
development, business management, grant writing it or something
entirely different.
This consulting code is notrocket science and is not beyond
your reach, and when you crackthe code, it can jump start the
growth of your solo consultingpractice And is what you need to
know to get started and lendyour first clients, and nothing
(20:25):
more.
This is a step by step processI wish I had so many years ago,
and that's why I wanted to sharethis with you and how you can
do this too.
If you're interested instarting your consulting
business and creating adesirable offer to generate
leads for your offer and to makesales, then the consulting code
(20:46):
is your solution.
Visit wwwexceletconsultingcomfor more information.
Unless you've been hiding undera rock somewhere, i'm sure by
now you're familiar with thefact that personal branding is
big in the entrepreneurial space, is big in the corporate space
(21:07):
as well.
Everyone wants to have anamazing personal brand.
We have been taught and toldthat we need this personal brand
so that we can make a name forourselves, so that we can stand
out, so that we can be seen andwe can be known, and this is
definitely true.
There's value in that.
(21:27):
I want to stress that wedefinitely need to have an
expert brand or personal brandthat centers around our
expertise.
Now, although that's the casethat we need this personal brand
, most people think thatpersonal branding is all about
Funtz and colors and the waythat we are visually appearing
(21:50):
in our business or in the onlinespace, and that's only a small,
small, tiny part of overallbranding.
When it comes to your personalbrand, however, is about Really
being vulnerable when you getdown to it, because part of what
makes a personal brand isauthenticity, is being you, and
(22:16):
the more you can be you, themore you can be authentically
you, the more you're going tocreate a unique brand as
representative of who you areand what your business has to
offer that's different fromeveryone else.
So part of us being able tosuccessfully do this is for us
to be vulnerable, is for us tobe able to play that that role
(22:43):
of unique storytelling, ofsharing All of our inner core
beliefs and values.
The things that we're thinking,the way that we see the world,
the way that we see our industry, the visualization we have for
the future and the work thatwe're currently doing All of
those things begin to build outour personal brand, because we
(23:07):
are embedding within the workthat we do and the stories that
we tell, our unique experiences,our insights, the things that
we've been through, how we'vebeen able to establish ourselves
in the industry, how we havedeveloped our thought leadership
.
All of those things come frombeing vulnerable.
It comes from sharing who youare authentically.
(23:31):
So in order to be authentic,you have to be vulnerable, and
that's the key that reallyunlocks the door to people
paying attention.
People are going to payattention to you because you're
different, your special, yourunique you are.
Your experience is not the sameas anyone else, and the more
that you can share how differentthat experience actually is,
(23:53):
the better.
So if I was to sit here on thispodcast and talk about landing
clients or gaining more business, or even being more vulnerable
From any other perspective thana black woman, a woman of color,
in the corporate academic space, if I was to do that without
(24:15):
sharing that vulnerable aspectof my experience and my life,
then I would be doing you, as alistener, as well as myself, as
someone who wants to make agreater impact, a disservice.
I have to honor all of thechallenges, obstacles that I
have faced, all the things I'vebeen able to overcome, all of
(24:36):
the things I have learned, thedifferent ways that I have
viewed my industry as the goodand bad, all the ways that I
have been able to navigate theindustry differently when I
found obstacles and barriersthat may be tied to me being a
woman in the industry or a womanof color in the industry.
(24:58):
All of those things make myexperience, my perception, what
I can share, the vulnerable wayI could show up on this podcast
different.
It makes it unique, and that isall that we have to do.
It's something that is so hardbecause of this level of
vulnerability that requires, butwhen you really get down to the
(25:19):
nuts and bolts of it, it'srather simple.
It is very simple for us toshare our stories, to share our
insights, experiences andperspective.
The hard part is being willingto be vulnerable enough to do it
.
That's the hard part.
The hardest part is beingvulnerable enough to do it.
(25:41):
This is what I want to challengeyou with today.
I want to challenge you to finda time this week to be more
vulnerable in your marketing andyour communication strategy.
What does this look like?
I want you to find anopportunity, whether it is
(26:05):
online, on LinkedIn or Instagramor Facebook, wherever you are,
or if it's in a conversation, ifyou're doing a workshop or a
facilitation or some othermeeting, or if you're networking
with others and you're in agroup.
I want you to spend some timesharing either a challenge that
you've had recently, a lessonthat you've learned from an
(26:28):
experience It can be currentexperience, past experience, it
doesn't matter, it's a lessonthat you've learned or rather a
moment where you may have hadsome level of doubt or fear.
I want you to think about thosethings Sharing a challenge, a
lesson learned and a doubt orfear.
(26:50):
I want you to do that this weekbecause, if you take the time
out to share this and to getreally vulnerable about it, to
tell the good, bad and the uglyabout the situation, to let
people into how you felt in thatmoment, what you were afraid of
in that moment, if you'retalking about the doubt or fear,
what lesson you learned,especially if it was a lesson
(27:11):
that was very difficult to learn, or maybe it was a lesson that
you learned that let you knowthat you had to navigate your
path differently.
Maybe it was a challenge thatyou faced that you didn't
anticipate, but maybe it wasthere because you are a woman, a
woman of color in your industry.
Or maybe it's there becauseyou're a mom, a working mom, and
(27:31):
you're trying to balance allthese things and still show up
and be as ambitious and drivenas you have always been all your
life.
Whatever it may be, i want youto share this and I want you to
do this in a way that's verytransparent, that's very open,
that's very vulnerable, and thenI want you to sit back and see
(27:51):
how people respond.
That's what I want you to doShare your vulnerability and see
how people respond, and whatI'm going to bet is that people
are going to embrace it.
I can almost guess that in99.999% of cases, when you do
(28:15):
this exercise, that you're goingto find that people not only
resonate with what you shared,but also they are going to more
than likely find a way toempathize with it, celebrate it
or just all out, embrace itfully, wholeheartedly, and that
(28:36):
is going to be evidence to youthat you need to do this more
often.
But I know that it's not goingto happen right away.
I know I can't push you intoshowing up and being extremely
vulnerable when you have been soguarded for so long,
understandably.
But I want you to practice that.
I want you to practice thatthis week, showing your
(28:57):
vulnerability and your marketingcommunication, sharing a
challenge, a lesson learned or amoment of self-doubt or fear,
and look and see how peoplerespond.
Because once you getcomfortable doing this and you
do it more often and I'm notsaying to share all of your
business and put everything outthere, but I really do mean just
(29:20):
showing up more authenticallyand being open to that, open to
making mistakes in public, opento possibly failing in public
All those things can happenbecause, once again, what do we
say?
Because you're a human, notbecause anything is wrong with
you.
But once you're open to that,you will find that you will
(29:40):
begin to build your consultingbusiness because you will gain
more visibility, that you willincrease the connections that
people have with you, you'llstart more conversations that
are going to lead to more salesand you will achieve your
business goals.
I promise All right, guys.
So this brings us to the end oftoday's episode.
(30:01):
I have really enjoyed thisconversation about vulnerability
because I think it's somethingwe don't talk about very often
and it's at the heart of so much, especially at the heart of
being more visible, because itdoes take a lot of vulnerability
to show up online or on a stageor in a book where you're going
to be judged and critiqued byothers.
At least so we think, and Iwant to.
(30:22):
Under that, i want to tell youit's okay to feel uncomfortable
in this moment.
It's okay not to want to dothose things.
I know what it feels like,trust me.
I know what it feels like notto want to have to go on camera
or go live or say a speech orgive a presentation.
I get it, i've been through allof it And so I can relate.
(30:45):
But I also know that me beingable to share with you that I
can relate to those things isprobably making you feel a
little bit better right now.
So I hope that all of theseexamples allow you to embrace
vulnerability a little bit more,because, at the end of the day,
your ability to be vulnerableand authentic is actually the
(31:07):
superpower that's going to setyou apart.
All right Now, if you enjoyedthis episode, don't forget, as
usual, share with a friend, tellsomeone, make sure that you
reach out to me on Instagram andLinkedIn.
Always like to have thoseconversations.
I say that every episodebecause I really do mean it.
And also, if you haven'tsubscribed yet, what are you
(31:28):
waiting for?
I need you to subscribe to thischannel so you'll know when
another episode drops.
But until the next time, i hopeyou have a great week and I'll
talk to you later.
Take care, bye.
Thanks for watching, take care.
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