July 11, 2023 • 24 mins
Send me a text message and get your questions answered on the podcast! I'd love to hear from you!
We've all stumbled and fumbled along the way, feeling like failure has the last word. But guess what? It doesn't have to be that way. Together, we'll take a close look at our failures through a magnifying glass, uncovering their hidden potential.
In this podcast, we'll explore how shifting our mindset around failure can have a profound impact on our lives. By reframing setbacks as valuable learning experiences, we can develop a healthier and more productive attitude. No more taking failures to heart or questioning our worth. It's time to reclaim our power.
So, fasten your seatbelt and get ready for a transformative adventure towards becoming the best version of ourselves. Through insightful discussions and practical tips, we'll embark on a journey of growth, resilience, and self-discovery.
Join me as we navigate this exciting path together, where failures become the fuel that propels us forward. Get ready to gain a fresh perspective on success and embrace the incredible possibilities that lie ahead. Let's dive in and unlock our true potential.
**********
Join the waitlist for The Consulting Code!
Learn what you need to know to create your consulting offer, attract leads, and make sales, even with a 9 to 5. Click here to be the first to know when enrollment begins.
Let's Connect!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drangelinadavis/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drangelinadavis/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know what?
Things don't always go asplanned And when they don't go
the way that you want them to go, that's the moment where
everything seems to beexaggerated in your mind And,
let's be honest, oftentimes wejust completely spin out.
Why?
Because our plans were tosucceed.
We didn't expect to fail Andalthough that can be an
(00:22):
uncomfortable place to be in, iwant to let you know that it can
actually be one of the mostbeneficial and official
experiences that you can have,because after that failure, you
have the opportunity to learn somuch that will lead to
inevitable success.
So we're going to talk abouthow you begin to debrief and
(00:44):
prepare for your next big win.
There's a misconception that wedon't exist, that somehow our
ability to excel at the highestlevel of our industry is limited
, that overcoming barriers as awoman of color would be
(01:04):
insurmountable.
But what would happen if wedecided to venture out on our
own, despite everything we're upagainst?
I'll tell you Welcome to theBlack Girls Consult To Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, a healthcare consultant,
consulting coach,high-performance fanatic wife
and proud girl mom.
(01:24):
I help transform femaleprofessionals into thriving solo
consultants And, just like you,i'm wearing all the hats and
doing all the things.
So this podcast is to empowerthe busy female professionals to
move past fear to start andgrow a successful consulting
business, despite the obstaclesyou may encounter.
We'll dive deep into consultingpractice, business strategy,
(01:47):
mindset and more.
So grab your cup of coffee ortea, if that's your thing, and
let's get started.
Hello, hello, hello, welcome tothe Black Girls Consult To
Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and I took a week off
(02:10):
last week And I have no regrets.
You know, when the fourth camearound, i was thinking to myself
I'm going to make sure that thepodcast drops, even if it's a,
you know, holiday, nationalholiday.
I'm just going to make surethat it got done.
But you know what?
I didn't, because I knew thatyou were barbecuing and relaxing
and enjoying family And I wasdoing the same.
(02:33):
So I figured that we would justtake a collective break and
then jump right back in it.
So this episode is all about howwe go through the process of
debriefing after we have had.
You know, i like to call it alearning lesson, but some may
call it a failure.
We're not afraid of failing,because if you're afraid of
(02:55):
failing, that means that you'remore than likely not going to
have very much success, becausein order for you to be
successful, you're going to failfrom time to time.
So I look at failure as just alesson learned And if we're able
to understand better whathappened, good and bad, it's
going to make the likelihood ofsuccess in the future far
(03:15):
greater than it was before.
In this episode I want to talkabout this whole concept because
I do think that, or especiallyearly on in your business
journey and I feel likethroughout your journey, i won't
just say early on it is verydifficult to stay completely
gung-ho, motivated, excitedabout your offer when things
(03:40):
don't work out as planned,because when they don't go as
planned, you begin to questioneverything.
I mean, if you're like me,you're starting to think about
whether or not you made theright decision.
Are you in the right niche?
Are you targeting the rightpeople?
Maybe you're not good enough todo this?
What are you missing thateverybody else knows?
I mean, you are going there Andwhile you're spinning out,
(04:05):
what's happening is that you arebreaking down the confidence
that you work so hard to buildthe confidence in yourself, the
confidence in your offer, theconfidence in your business,
just in this totality.
So we don't want to do that.
We want to avoid that as muchas possible.
One of the ways I found to bevery helpful in avoiding this
(04:30):
downward spiral is to stop andreally assess what happened,
because There's a differencebetween fact and emotion, and
often times what happens is thatwhen we get in a situation
Where something hasn't workedout and we poured all of our
heart and soul, blood, sweat andtears into it and it doesn't
Turn out the way that we haveplanned, we can become emotional
(04:52):
about it because we we've putour energy into it.
So it's understandable.
It's not like these things arenot to be expected, but When
you're thinking emotionally,you're not seeing what actually
happened in terms of the facts,and Oftentimes the facts and the
data will paint a completelydifferent picture than your
(05:14):
emotions will.
One thing that is super helpfulin these moments is to assess
what the facts actually say in,the data actually shows, instead
of relying on emotion to driveyou forward.
And I want to remind us of this, because I Have this
conversation over and over andover and over again with clients
(05:36):
that I work with, knowing thatthis is part of the journey.
I I'm well ready for it.
I know that the moment thatthis happens, i need to allow
them to have time and spaceright to process it, to think
through What they may be feelingemotionally.
But then I try my best to tiemyself so that I can show up and
(05:59):
remind them just how badassthey are, because, at the end of
the day, this is something thatis to be expected only because
it is part of the journey tosuccess.
And I also know that when theygo through the process of
actually evaluating whatoccurred whether it is a meeting
(06:21):
that didn't go as a anticipated, or if it's a Formal launch
that did not go as anticipated,or maybe there is a speaking
engagement that didn't turn outthe way that they thought it
would, whatever it may be I knowthat if they sit down and they
think about what happened andactually debrief fully, They're
(06:42):
going to have a differentviewpoint.
So what I want to share todayis a process that I often work
clients through to think abouthow their lesson learned aka
failure Has benefited them andwhat they need to do in order to
(07:03):
move ahead.
So if you're ready to learn allabout how to do that for
yourself, then stay tuned.
A thriving consulting businessis built on a solid business
foundation and a Consulting codethat leads you toward your
ideal business and your ideallifestyle.
And the great thing about thiscode is that it works for any
(07:23):
type of consulting practice,whether you help clients with
professional development,business management, grant
writing, it or somethingentirely different.
This consulting code is notrocket science and is not beyond
your reach, and when you crackthe code, it can jump start the
growth of your solo consultingpractice And is what you need to
know to get started and lendyour first clients, and nothing
(07:47):
more.
This is a step-by-step processI wish I had so many years ago,
and that's why I wanted to sharethis with you and how you can
do this too.
So if you're interested instarting your consulting
business and creating adesirable offer to generate
leads for your offer and to makesales, then the consulting code
is your solution.
(08:07):
Visit wwwexcelatconsultingcomfor more information.
Okay, the first thing I want youto do before you do anything
else is to stop and celebrateyour wins, because if you
accomplish your goal and youcarried through on all of the
(08:30):
steps necessary in order to takeit from start to finish, that's
something to celebrate.
If you may not have reachedyour target, but you did get
some signups for an event or awebinar, or if you did move to
the next step with a client,although they may not have
signed the contract, whatever itmay be, if there was any level
(08:53):
of progress forward, no matterhow small the step, i want you
to celebrate.
You have to take time to relishin the things that went well
And also, i think by doing this,it lets you know that there are
certain things that you wereable to accomplish when you went
through this process, and thoseare the things that you want to
(09:16):
do over and over again, so youdon't want to forget them.
When we don't take time tocelebrate those wins,
acknowledge that they happen,understand what allow them to be
, then there is going to be alot of difficulty in trying to
recreate those wins.
So be mindful of it, take itall in, celebrate it.
(09:39):
It's something that you haveaccomplished and that means a
whole lot.
So, before we get into anythingthat did not go as planned,
we're going to focus oncelebrating those wins.
Now, once we have celebratedthose wins and you've gotten
that under your belt, then thenext step is to detach from the
outcome.
(09:59):
This is a big one because,whether we intend to or not, we
can often feel as if the failurewas a failure personally.
Instead of it being somethingthat was not a good fit, or
(10:19):
something that we need toimprove or work on, or something
that fell for some other reason, we begin to attach that
failure to ourselves and seeourselves as failures, and that
is something that you want toavoid.
There has to be a completedetachment from yourself as a
person and the outcome of thisactivity that you just did.
(10:40):
So don't internalize it so muchso that you're being getting to
question who you are, whatyou're able to offer, your
expertise, all of those things.
There is no room to beginsecond guessing and questioning
yourself right now.
That's not what any of thismeans.
(11:00):
When we're looking at thingsthat didn't work out, for
whatever reason, it is a processissue.
It's not a personal issue.
So you're not focused onpersonal, you're focused on
process.
So when you make thisdetachment and you separate
personal from process, it willbe much easier for you not to
internalize those things thatdon't go well, instead of trying
(11:24):
to internalize it and somehowmake it mean something about
yourself.
It doesn't.
It is a process issue.
So when you make this cleandetachment, it's going to be
easier for you not to negativelyallow it to impact your value
(11:49):
or your self-worth, because, nomatter what the outcome is good
or bad, it had nothing to dowith you personally.
It had something to do with theprocess.
So that's the second thingWe're going to celebrate, then
we're going to detach personalfrom process And then we're
going to get into the depth ofthis debrief.
(12:10):
Now, this is the part thatyou're going to lean all into,
because when you're debriefing,you are going to look at what
went right, what went wrong andanalyze exactly what took place.
Because, remember I said, thisis a process issue.
So if it's a process issue, wehave to figure out what steps
along this process were noteither aligned or were not well
(12:33):
designed.
Somehow something was off, andthat's what we want to figure
out.
So there are a number of waysthat you can debrief any project
.
You can make it as simple or ascomplex as you could ever
imagine, and I am team simple.
So that's actually what we'regoing to do, and I just want to
talk through, really, theoverall viewpoint that you want
(12:57):
to have when it comes to thiswhole debriefing.
One is that you have to restateyour objective.
Often we forget what we wereplanning to accomplish, what we
set out to do.
So one of the first things isto outline what your objectives
actually were, because from thispoint forward, what we're going
to be doing is making sure thatwhat occurred.
(13:20):
We're trying to determinewhether or not that was in
alignment with the objectivesthat were originally stated,
because if it was not, then thatis definitely going to be an
area of improvement.
But then also it lets us knowwhether or not we are working
toward the right goal orobjective.
It may be the objective shouldbe shifted if we are planning or
(13:43):
desiring to do somethingdifferent.
Either way, we have to placeourselves in the right mindset
when it comes to how we'rejudging our outcome and our
process, and, especially ifwe're working with other
individuals, we want to makesure that everybody understands
what the objectives actuallywere.
So that is one of the firstthings, just starting by laying
(14:04):
out the objectives of what youwere trying to accomplish.
Now the next thing you want todo is just observe and reflect.
It is important to take thetime out to think about what
actually happened and be verydetailed when you're recalling
these events.
You want to make sure that youcan think about not just what
(14:27):
occurred in terms of, maybe, theresponses that you got from
prospects or potential clientsor your audience, but you also
want to think about your mindset.
Where were you at mentally whenall of this happened?
Were you giving it your all?
Were you distracted?
Were there other things goingon in your life?
Honestly, reflect on where youwere mentally when it came to
(14:51):
the work that you were a part of, and if this is something that
you were doing with your team,then think about what may have
been going on with regards toteam dynamics.
It's important to know andobserve all of those things, so
not just what actually occurredin terms of your desired outcome
(15:12):
at each step, but also what wasjust happening all around you.
What was the environment?
And I think, once we reflect andgather that information, i
think usually at this point iswhere we begin to see that there
were a lot of other things atplay.
And, aside from justobservation, you also want to
(15:33):
look at your data, look at yournumbers, all of the metrics that
you outlined in the data youwere collecting as you were
going along.
That is representative of whatwas occurring at each step along
the way.
So you want to make sure thatyou are reviewing that
information And look, if youdon't have that data for
(15:55):
something that you were carryingout that more than likely
needed a metric or some type ofprocess measurement, then that's
another thing to add to yourlist, to make sure that you have
the data as well, because Ialways like to say that data is
your truth teller, so it willallow you to clearly see, at
least based on the numbers, whatactually occurred.
(16:17):
You're observing, you'rereflecting and you are
evaluating your data.
At this point, you have all ofthis information.
You have your objectives thatwere previously outlined before
you started, and now it's timeto consider what is it that went
(16:38):
well?
I love to start with what wentwell, because I think that we
often overlook this piece.
Just like when we started thisdiscussion, i talked about
celebrating your wins.
It's really easy to overlookthe things that actually were in
alignment with your objectivesor the thing that went well in
(16:59):
your process, but those are thethings that you want to make
sure that you're able torecreate, that you are able to
do over and over again.
So one of the first things isto figure out, in terms of the
environment, the structure, thepeople, the team, your emotional
stability and thought processduring the time, as well as your
(17:21):
data what went well.
Then you want to stop and lookat those things that did not go
well.
That's the other side of thecoin, and it's not a matter of
just saying, oh, this didn'twork or that didn't work.
It's understanding why itdidn't work.
So it's a lot deeper than justacknowledging that those things
(17:43):
did not work out the way theywere planned, but to understand
what were the circumstances thatsurrounded what you experience
that led to an undesirableoutcome.
If you don't consider whysomething happened and you're
solely looking at the fact thatit did occur, you're going to
(18:06):
miss out on the biggest lesson.
That there is.
The why behind it will tell youa lot more about where gaps
exist, what needs to be fixed,how you can possibly improve it
for the next time.
If you're to do this again, youhave to know what is causing
(18:30):
this undesirable outcome inorder to fix it.
So being able to identify thewhy behind why some of these
things occurred is going to beextremely helpful for you as you
move forward.
Now we've gone through theprocess of listing our
objectives.
We've taken time to observe andreflect and look at our data
(18:53):
And then we've broken that dataand those observations and
reflections out into what workedand what didn't work.
The last thing we need to do isfigure out what we need to
start doing, what we need tostop and how we're going to move
forward.
That is going to help you learnfrom this whole process.
(19:14):
If we don't figure out what todo next, then we're leaving a
lot on the table.
We're just stopping aftersomething didn't work and moving
on and not necessarily carryingthe lesson forward.
We want to carry the lessonforward, so that means that we
have to make a decision.
There are certain things thatwe're going to look at and we're
going to say you know, this wasour objective, this worked out
(19:36):
well.
I think that this was somethingthat we should continue because
it's in alignment with theobjective and the desired
outcome Continue.
And then there are going to beother things that maybe it
worked, but maybe it didn't addany benefit whatsoever.
Stop it.
Let's not continue doing thingsthat are not deriving a benefit
or an outcome, or there may bethings that we are doing that's
(20:01):
preventing us from having apositive outcome.
So if we are not followingthrough on certain tasks the way
that we have originallyoutlined it.
If we're not being disciplinedenough to carry those things out
, that's something that we needto stop doing.
We need to start carrying itout and being more disciplined
about that practice.
Whatever it may be that needsto change, start or stop then we
(20:26):
need to make sure that that isclearly outlined and supports
our desired result.
And if we are noticing thatthere needs to be a change or
some type of modification, let'smake it so that next time
you're not just repeating thesame process without having
learned the lesson from beforeNow.
(20:47):
I think this is the key, becauseI have seen far too many people
try and try and try again, andwhen you get them in a setting
where they're breaking down thisinformation they're reviewing
and debriefing and looking atdata what you find is that They
(21:09):
haven't taken the time to makethese adjustments.
So it really does become kindof like the definition of
insanity, right, doing the samething over and over again and
expecting a different result,and we know that this doesn't
happen.
So this is important if you aregoing through this process of
(21:30):
learning a lesson aka failure,because it's not about you, it's
all about the process and howyou're evaluating the process
and moving forward with thatlesson learned.
So I hope this has been helpful.
I hope this helps you thinkthrough anything that you may be
(21:52):
going through right now.
Or if you're not going throughanything right now, then maybe
it'll help in the future,because we all go through these
ups and downs.
I still do this in my head overand over again.
Whenever something comes up andit doesn't go as planned, the
first thing I do is celebratewhat went well.
Sometimes it's like, hey, youmade it all the way through that
(22:13):
process and you saw it all theway through and you did not
complain and you had good energy.
That is a huge win, somethingto celebrate.
And after that it's a matter ofdetaching and actually
debriefing.
Looking at my data, and what Ifound is that when I have looked
through the data, theobservations, the reflections,
(22:35):
the actual heart numbers, mostoften there was far more that
went right than went wrong, andI am probably pretty sure can't
say 100%, but I would prettymuch say I can 90%.
Guarantee that more than likelyit's the same with you too.
(22:59):
All right, guys, as always, look, reach out to me on Instagram
or LinkedIn.
I love to hear from you, sodon't hesitate to DM and reach
out that way.
Also, if you enjoyed thisepisode, share it with a friend
and leave your review on ApplePodcasts.
It really does help the podcastto grow And I hope to chat with
(23:20):
you again soon.
All right guys, take care, havea great week.
Bye, don't forget to visitexcelatconsultingcom for more
(23:54):
information to support yourconsulting journey.
Until next time, take care.
You know what?
Things don't always go asplanned And when they don't go
the way that you want them to go, that's the moment where
everything seems to beexaggerated in your mind And,
let's be honest, oftentimes wejust completely spin out.
Why?
Because our plans were tosucceed.
We didn't expect to fail Andalthough that can be an
(00:22):
uncomfortable place to be in, iwant to let you know that it can
actually be one of the mostbeneficial and official
experiences that you can have,because after that failure, you
have the opportunity to learn somuch that will lead to
inevitable success.
So we're going to talk abouthow you begin to debrief and
(00:44):
prepare for your next big win.
There's a misconception that wedon't exist, that somehow our
ability to excel at the highestlevel of our industry is limited
, that overcoming barriers as awoman of color would be
(01:04):
insurmountable.
But what would happen if wedecided to venture out on our
own, despite everything we're upagainst?
I'll tell you Welcome to theBlack Girls Consult To Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, a healthcare consultant,
consulting coach,high-performance fanatic wife
and proud girl mom.
(01:24):
I help transform femaleprofessionals into thriving solo
consultants And, just like you,i'm wearing all the hats and
doing all the things.
So this podcast is to empowerthe busy female professionals to
move past fear to start andgrow a successful consulting
business, despite the obstaclesyou may encounter.
We'll dive deep into consultingpractice, business strategy,
(01:47):
mindset and more.
So grab your cup of coffee ortea, if that's your thing, and
let's get started.
Hello, hello, hello, welcome tothe Black Girls Consult To
Podcast.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and I took a week off
(02:10):
last week And I have no regrets.
You know, when the fourth camearound, i was thinking to myself
I'm going to make sure that thepodcast drops, even if it's a,
you know, holiday, nationalholiday.
I'm just going to make surethat it got done.
But you know what?
I didn't, because I knew thatyou were barbecuing and relaxing
and enjoying family And I wasdoing the same.
(02:33):
So I figured that we would justtake a collective break and
then jump right back in it.
So this episode is all about howwe go through the process of
debriefing after we have had.
You know, i like to call it alearning lesson, but some may
call it a failure.
We're not afraid of failing,because if you're afraid of
(02:55):
failing, that means that you'remore than likely not going to
have very much success, becausein order for you to be
successful, you're going to failfrom time to time.
So I look at failure as just alesson learned And if we're able
to understand better whathappened, good and bad, it's
going to make the likelihood ofsuccess in the future far
(03:15):
greater than it was before.
In this episode I want to talkabout this whole concept because
I do think that, or especiallyearly on in your business
journey and I feel likethroughout your journey, i won't
just say early on it is verydifficult to stay completely
gung-ho, motivated, excitedabout your offer when things
(03:40):
don't work out as planned,because when they don't go as
planned, you begin to questioneverything.
I mean, if you're like me,you're starting to think about
whether or not you made theright decision.
Are you in the right niche?
Are you targeting the rightpeople?
Maybe you're not good enough todo this?
What are you missing thateverybody else knows?
I mean, you are going there Andwhile you're spinning out,
(04:05):
what's happening is that you arebreaking down the confidence
that you work so hard to buildthe confidence in yourself, the
confidence in your offer, theconfidence in your business,
just in this totality.
So we don't want to do that.
We want to avoid that as muchas possible.
One of the ways I found to bevery helpful in avoiding this
(04:30):
downward spiral is to stop andreally assess what happened,
because There's a differencebetween fact and emotion, and
often times what happens is thatwhen we get in a situation
Where something hasn't workedout and we poured all of our
heart and soul, blood, sweat andtears into it and it doesn't
Turn out the way that we haveplanned, we can become emotional
(04:52):
about it because we we've putour energy into it.
So it's understandable.
It's not like these things arenot to be expected, but When
you're thinking emotionally,you're not seeing what actually
happened in terms of the facts,and Oftentimes the facts and the
data will paint a completelydifferent picture than your
(05:14):
emotions will.
One thing that is super helpfulin these moments is to assess
what the facts actually say in,the data actually shows, instead
of relying on emotion to driveyou forward.
And I want to remind us of this, because I Have this
conversation over and over andover and over again with clients
(05:36):
that I work with, knowing thatthis is part of the journey.
I I'm well ready for it.
I know that the moment thatthis happens, i need to allow
them to have time and spaceright to process it, to think
through What they may be feelingemotionally.
But then I try my best to tiemyself so that I can show up and
(05:59):
remind them just how badassthey are, because, at the end of
the day, this is something thatis to be expected only because
it is part of the journey tosuccess.
And I also know that when theygo through the process of
actually evaluating whatoccurred whether it is a meeting
(06:21):
that didn't go as a anticipated, or if it's a Formal launch
that did not go as anticipated,or maybe there is a speaking
engagement that didn't turn outthe way that they thought it
would, whatever it may be I knowthat if they sit down and they
think about what happened andactually debrief fully, They're
(06:42):
going to have a differentviewpoint.
So what I want to share todayis a process that I often work
clients through to think abouthow their lesson learned aka
failure Has benefited them andwhat they need to do in order to
(07:03):
move ahead.
So if you're ready to learn allabout how to do that for
yourself, then stay tuned.
A thriving consulting businessis built on a solid business
foundation and a Consulting codethat leads you toward your
ideal business and your ideallifestyle.
And the great thing about thiscode is that it works for any
(07:23):
type of consulting practice,whether you help clients with
professional development,business management, grant
writing, it or somethingentirely different.
This consulting code is notrocket science and is not beyond
your reach, and when you crackthe code, it can jump start the
growth of your solo consultingpractice And is what you need to
know to get started and lendyour first clients, and nothing
(07:47):
more.
This is a step-by-step processI wish I had so many years ago,
and that's why I wanted to sharethis with you and how you can
do this too.
So if you're interested instarting your consulting
business and creating adesirable offer to generate
leads for your offer and to makesales, then the consulting code
is your solution.
(08:07):
Visit wwwexcelatconsultingcomfor more information.
Okay, the first thing I want youto do before you do anything
else is to stop and celebrateyour wins, because if you
accomplish your goal and youcarried through on all of the
(08:30):
steps necessary in order to takeit from start to finish, that's
something to celebrate.
If you may not have reachedyour target, but you did get
some signups for an event or awebinar, or if you did move to
the next step with a client,although they may not have
signed the contract, whatever itmay be, if there was any level
(08:53):
of progress forward, no matterhow small the step, i want you
to celebrate.
You have to take time to relishin the things that went well
And also, i think by doing this,it lets you know that there are
certain things that you wereable to accomplish when you went
through this process, and thoseare the things that you want to
(09:16):
do over and over again, so youdon't want to forget them.
When we don't take time tocelebrate those wins,
acknowledge that they happen,understand what allow them to be
, then there is going to be alot of difficulty in trying to
recreate those wins.
So be mindful of it, take itall in, celebrate it.
(09:39):
It's something that you haveaccomplished and that means a
whole lot.
So, before we get into anythingthat did not go as planned,
we're going to focus oncelebrating those wins.
Now, once we have celebratedthose wins and you've gotten
that under your belt, then thenext step is to detach from the
outcome.
(09:59):
This is a big one because,whether we intend to or not, we
can often feel as if the failurewas a failure personally.
Instead of it being somethingthat was not a good fit, or
(10:19):
something that we need toimprove or work on, or something
that fell for some other reason, we begin to attach that
failure to ourselves and seeourselves as failures, and that
is something that you want toavoid.
There has to be a completedetachment from yourself as a
person and the outcome of thisactivity that you just did.
(10:40):
So don't internalize it so muchso that you're being getting to
question who you are, whatyou're able to offer, your
expertise, all of those things.
There is no room to beginsecond guessing and questioning
yourself right now.
That's not what any of thismeans.
(11:00):
When we're looking at thingsthat didn't work out, for
whatever reason, it is a processissue.
It's not a personal issue.
So you're not focused onpersonal, you're focused on
process.
So when you make thisdetachment and you separate
personal from process, it willbe much easier for you not to
internalize those things thatdon't go well, instead of trying
(11:24):
to internalize it and somehowmake it mean something about
yourself.
It doesn't.
It is a process issue.
So when you make this cleandetachment, it's going to be
easier for you not to negativelyallow it to impact your value
(11:49):
or your self-worth, because, nomatter what the outcome is good
or bad, it had nothing to dowith you personally.
It had something to do with theprocess.
So that's the second thingWe're going to celebrate, then
we're going to detach personalfrom process And then we're
going to get into the depth ofthis debrief.
(12:10):
Now, this is the part thatyou're going to lean all into,
because when you're debriefing,you are going to look at what
went right, what went wrong andanalyze exactly what took place.
Because, remember I said, thisis a process issue.
So if it's a process issue, wehave to figure out what steps
along this process were noteither aligned or were not well
(12:33):
designed.
Somehow something was off, andthat's what we want to figure
out.
So there are a number of waysthat you can debrief any project
.
You can make it as simple or ascomplex as you could ever
imagine, and I am team simple.
So that's actually what we'regoing to do, and I just want to
talk through, really, theoverall viewpoint that you want
(12:57):
to have when it comes to thiswhole debriefing.
One is that you have to restateyour objective.
Often we forget what we wereplanning to accomplish, what we
set out to do.
So one of the first things isto outline what your objectives
actually were, because from thispoint forward, what we're going
to be doing is making sure thatwhat occurred.
(13:20):
We're trying to determinewhether or not that was in
alignment with the objectivesthat were originally stated,
because if it was not, then thatis definitely going to be an
area of improvement.
But then also it lets us knowwhether or not we are working
toward the right goal orobjective.
It may be the objective shouldbe shifted if we are planning or
(13:43):
desiring to do somethingdifferent.
Either way, we have to placeourselves in the right mindset
when it comes to how we'rejudging our outcome and our
process, and, especially ifwe're working with other
individuals, we want to makesure that everybody understands
what the objectives actuallywere.
So that is one of the firstthings, just starting by laying
(14:04):
out the objectives of what youwere trying to accomplish.
Now the next thing you want todo is just observe and reflect.
It is important to take thetime out to think about what
actually happened and be verydetailed when you're recalling
these events.
You want to make sure that youcan think about not just what
(14:27):
occurred in terms of, maybe, theresponses that you got from
prospects or potential clientsor your audience, but you also
want to think about your mindset.
Where were you at mentally whenall of this happened?
Were you giving it your all?
Were you distracted?
Were there other things goingon in your life?
Honestly, reflect on where youwere mentally when it came to
(14:51):
the work that you were a part of, and if this is something that
you were doing with your team,then think about what may have
been going on with regards toteam dynamics.
It's important to know andobserve all of those things, so
not just what actually occurredin terms of your desired outcome
(15:12):
at each step, but also what wasjust happening all around you.
What was the environment?
And I think, once we reflect andgather that information, i
think usually at this point iswhere we begin to see that there
were a lot of other things atplay.
And, aside from justobservation, you also want to
(15:33):
look at your data, look at yournumbers, all of the metrics that
you outlined in the data youwere collecting as you were
going along.
That is representative of whatwas occurring at each step along
the way.
So you want to make sure thatyou are reviewing that
information And look, if youdon't have that data for
(15:55):
something that you were carryingout that more than likely
needed a metric or some type ofprocess measurement, then that's
another thing to add to yourlist, to make sure that you have
the data as well, because Ialways like to say that data is
your truth teller, so it willallow you to clearly see, at
least based on the numbers, whatactually occurred.
(16:17):
You're observing, you'rereflecting and you are
evaluating your data.
At this point, you have all ofthis information.
You have your objectives thatwere previously outlined before
you started, and now it's timeto consider what is it that went
(16:38):
well?
I love to start with what wentwell, because I think that we
often overlook this piece.
Just like when we started thisdiscussion, i talked about
celebrating your wins.
It's really easy to overlookthe things that actually were in
alignment with your objectivesor the thing that went well in
(16:59):
your process, but those are thethings that you want to make
sure that you're able torecreate, that you are able to
do over and over again.
So one of the first things isto figure out, in terms of the
environment, the structure, thepeople, the team, your emotional
stability and thought processduring the time, as well as your
(17:21):
data what went well.
Then you want to stop and lookat those things that did not go
well.
That's the other side of thecoin, and it's not a matter of
just saying, oh, this didn'twork or that didn't work.
It's understanding why itdidn't work.
So it's a lot deeper than justacknowledging that those things
(17:43):
did not work out the way theywere planned, but to understand
what were the circumstances thatsurrounded what you experience
that led to an undesirableoutcome.
If you don't consider whysomething happened and you're
solely looking at the fact thatit did occur, you're going to
(18:06):
miss out on the biggest lesson.
That there is.
The why behind it will tell youa lot more about where gaps
exist, what needs to be fixed,how you can possibly improve it
for the next time.
If you're to do this again, youhave to know what is causing
(18:30):
this undesirable outcome inorder to fix it.
So being able to identify thewhy behind why some of these
things occurred is going to beextremely helpful for you as you
move forward.
Now we've gone through theprocess of listing our
objectives.
We've taken time to observe andreflect and look at our data
(18:53):
And then we've broken that dataand those observations and
reflections out into what workedand what didn't work.
The last thing we need to do isfigure out what we need to
start doing, what we need tostop and how we're going to move
forward.
That is going to help you learnfrom this whole process.
(19:14):
If we don't figure out what todo next, then we're leaving a
lot on the table.
We're just stopping aftersomething didn't work and moving
on and not necessarily carryingthe lesson forward.
We want to carry the lessonforward, so that means that we
have to make a decision.
There are certain things thatwe're going to look at and we're
going to say you know, this wasour objective, this worked out
(19:36):
well.
I think that this was somethingthat we should continue because
it's in alignment with theobjective and the desired
outcome Continue.
And then there are going to beother things that maybe it
worked, but maybe it didn't addany benefit whatsoever.
Stop it.
Let's not continue doing thingsthat are not deriving a benefit
or an outcome, or there may bethings that we are doing that's
(20:01):
preventing us from having apositive outcome.
So if we are not followingthrough on certain tasks the way
that we have originallyoutlined it.
If we're not being disciplinedenough to carry those things out
, that's something that we needto stop doing.
We need to start carrying itout and being more disciplined
about that practice.
Whatever it may be that needsto change, start or stop then we
(20:26):
need to make sure that that isclearly outlined and supports
our desired result.
And if we are noticing thatthere needs to be a change or
some type of modification, let'smake it so that next time
you're not just repeating thesame process without having
learned the lesson from beforeNow.
(20:47):
I think this is the key, becauseI have seen far too many people
try and try and try again, andwhen you get them in a setting
where they're breaking down thisinformation they're reviewing
and debriefing and looking atdata what you find is that They
(21:09):
haven't taken the time to makethese adjustments.
So it really does become kindof like the definition of
insanity, right, doing the samething over and over again and
expecting a different result,and we know that this doesn't
happen.
So this is important if you aregoing through this process of
(21:30):
learning a lesson aka failure,because it's not about you, it's
all about the process and howyou're evaluating the process
and moving forward with thatlesson learned.
So I hope this has been helpful.
I hope this helps you thinkthrough anything that you may be
(21:52):
going through right now.
Or if you're not going throughanything right now, then maybe
it'll help in the future,because we all go through these
ups and downs.
I still do this in my head overand over again.
Whenever something comes up andit doesn't go as planned, the
first thing I do is celebratewhat went well.
Sometimes it's like, hey, youmade it all the way through that
(22:13):
process and you saw it all theway through and you did not
complain and you had good energy.
That is a huge win, somethingto celebrate.
And after that it's a matter ofdetaching and actually
debriefing.
Looking at my data, and what Ifound is that when I have looked
through the data, theobservations, the reflections,
(22:35):
the actual heart numbers, mostoften there was far more that
went right than went wrong, andI am probably pretty sure can't
say 100%, but I would prettymuch say I can 90%.
Guarantee that more than likelyit's the same with you too.
(22:59):
All right, guys, as always, look, reach out to me on Instagram
or LinkedIn.
I love to hear from you, sodon't hesitate to DM and reach
out that way.
Also, if you enjoyed thisepisode, share it with a friend
and leave your review on ApplePodcasts.
It really does help the podcastto grow And I hope to chat with
(23:20):
you again soon.
All right guys, take care, havea great week.
Bye, don't forget to visitexcelatconsultingcom for more
(23:54):
information to support yourconsulting journey.
Until next time, take care.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!