November 5, 2024 • 51 mins
As the leaves turn and the air grows crisp, there's no better time to cozy up with a new episode of Black Girls Eating. In this episode, hosts Candace and Tanorria delve into the beauty of fall in the Midwest, sharing their love for the vibrant colors and the comfort of chunky sweaters and warm spices. But this episode is about more than just the changing seasons; it's a celebration of Black girl magic and the power of community.
Candace and Tanorria discuss the importance of pivoting and adapting, both in life and in their podcast journey. They share how their commitment to Black Girls Eating has led them to create meaningful content that resonates with their listeners, even as they navigate the challenges of podcasting. Their dedication to this platform is evident as they talk about the work that goes into each episode, from ideation to guest scheduling.
As the episode unfolds, the conversation shifts to the upcoming election. With voting day just around the corner, Candace and Tanorria emphasize the significance of civic duty and the impact of every single vote. They encourage listeners to be prepared, stay informed, and exercise their right to vote, highlighting the importance of participating in the democratic process for the betterment of the community.
Throughout the episode, there's a strong focus on self-care and personal growth. Tanorria shares her journey of staying present and intentional, while Candace talks about the joy of creativity and spending quality time with her daughter. Both hosts underscore the value of therapy and having a supportive network to navigate life's ups and downs. This episode of Black Girls Eating is a rich tapestry of conversation, weaving together themes of community, self-care, and the beauty of fall. It's a reminder of the power of Black voices and the importance of staying engaged and committed to the work that matters.
So grab a warm beverage, settle in, and let Candace and Tanorria inspire you with their heartfelt dialogue. Don't miss out—tune in to Black Girls Eating today and be part of a conversation that feeds the soul.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Candace (00:08):
Welcome to Black Girls Eating. Uh, a conversation about
justice, black girl magic and well
seasoned food. We are Black Girls Eating
and welcome to our podcast.
>> Tanorria (00:18):
This episode was brought to you by Christ Church
Cathedral. Follow them on Instagram at
thatchurchonthecircle or go to their website
cccindy.org for more information.
Hi, friend.
>> Candace (00:32):
Hello.
>> Tanorria (00:34):
How are you on this bright sun,
shiny and cold day?
>> Candace (00:39):
I'm, um, cold. And I just
know that it's October and
I'm not even gonna hold you. Like, I don't want it to be
cold.
>> Tanorria (00:48):
I know. We ask ourselves every year, why do
we live here?
>> Candace (00:52):
Why do we live here? And it just. I
mean. Yeah, I
just, uh.
>> Tanorria (01:00):
The problem with living in the good old
Midwest is that it was
nice and comfortable and like,
still wearing sandals
and overnight, literally
like, where are my boots?
Where's my jacket? And we're
(01:21):
barely gonna get jacket time. Like, it's gonna be coat
time soon. Yeah, we don't, we
like. I don't buy a lot of fall and
spring jackets because we get like two
weeks with them.
>> Candace (01:33):
Yeah. Like, I have already started
wearing my
typically late fall
shirt. Like, I already. I'm, um.
Yeah, I just, I'm not okay about
it. I'm not even going to lie. Like, I feel away about
this and I don't
know, Like, I love. It's weird, right,
(01:55):
Though, right? Because, like, I hate the cold part,
but I love how fall looks in
Indiana. It is so beautiful.
>> Tanorria (02:04):
It is beautiful. It's true. I think that's the thing that
kind of like makes you
okay with the seasons changing, is the
beauty of it. And watching God's handiwork.
>> Candace (02:15):
Yes, yes. Like, I love, I love because
there's a street near our house, there's a ton of trees
and like right now they're starting to change.
And so, like, I can see all the beautiful colors
and I just. I love it. Like, I, um, I love
it. And like, my Bradford pear tree has
finally done what it's going to do for the fall, so my eyes
(02:35):
aren't falling off. And it's just. I feel
that. I feel that.
>> Tanorria (02:41):
Yeah. And I love fall because I do love, like,
cozy sweatshirts and pretty
chunky sweaters. And the food, fall
food is like, I love the fresh flavors of
spring and summer and there's nothing like a
good Indiana tomato in the heat of August.
And. But I also love
(03:01):
going to apple orchards in Indiana and
having apple cider and,
you know, cinnamon and warm
spices.
>> Candace (03:10):
Yes, yes, yes. I have
literally eaten my weight in honey for
sour right I'm um,
pretty much at two bags a week. Like
I'm getting two bags a week and I pretty much eat
two a day. One in the morning and one in the evening.
>> Tanorria (03:27):
Sometimes three apples have been my dessert
lately. Like you know, trying to
watch sugar intake
and uh, balancing out lots of protein
and fiber and apples have great fiber. So
some apples and that. Um.
Oh gosh, I can't think of the brand, but there's
a honey almond butter.
>> Candace (03:49):
Uh, you get it at Trader Joe's?
>> Tanorria (03:52):
No, I got it at Kroger.
>> Candace (03:54):
Ah.
>> Tanorria (03:56):
I cannot think of the name. And it's a popular brand
because they make good like almond butter, like
Reese type cups too. And the name, the brand is
escaping me. But a honey
crisp and I sprinkle just a little bit of
lemon juice on it and then that honey
almond butter. It's a delicious dessert.
>> Candace (04:16):
Mine? Yes, mine is
the honey crust apples with the
wee dairy free coconut yogurt.
Oh yeah.
>> Tanorria (04:27):
I'm trying to find a good coconut yogurt because
I, I'm a hardcore
whole milk Greek yogurt. Whole
milk has to be Greek. My body processes that
better. But um, a lot
of products that I've been eating, I've been trying to focus on
lactose free and even my doctor was like, what
(04:47):
about cocon yogurt? And I'm like, I just,
it's not as luscious.
>> Candace (04:52):
I, ah, promise you the wee one, it
is, it's really good. It's really, really
good. They um, have vanilla, they have
a mango, they have a raspberry and a
strawberry. Very good.
>> Tanorria (05:04):
I love me a good mango yogurt with some
blueberries and patachou granola
of that combination.
>> Candace (05:12):
Listen, I may, yeah.
>> Tanorria (05:14):
Mhm.
>> Candace (05:14):
I may have to have a late lunch at Pattitude today
because.
Yes.
Um, well, you guys, welcome to Black Girls
Eating. I'm Candace.
>> Tanorria (05:28):
I'm Tenoria.
>> Candace (05:30):
And we are going to chat it up today. We're going
to, uh, you know, just.
>> Tanorria (05:34):
You know, give you an update of.
>> Candace (05:35):
What'S going on with our girls eating and you know, talk about
what we're looking forward to in this next season.
>> Tanorria (05:41):
Yes. Yeah, yeah. We,
we've had some great episodes thus
far.
>> Candace (05:48):
We have.
>> Tanorria (05:49):
It feels a little bit like a whirlwind because we
started and things were a little bit different for
us this year because of how we're recording and our
schedules. But it came together
really well.
>> Candace (06:02):
Yes. And it's one of those things where it's like when you make
the pivot, everything else comes together for you
like when you. You know what I mean?
>> Tanorria (06:09):
And so, uh, I needed to hear that today.
>> Candace (06:13):
Hey, I'm glad to encourage my sister.
>> Tanorria (06:15):
Yeah. You know, I need to hear about pivots every
day.
>> Candace (06:18):
Yes. Listen, but, you know, I feel like once
we said, hey, you know, this is where we want to go, this is what
we want to do, because one thing we want you all to understand
is that we love black girls eating.
We love black girls eating. We love the
opportunities that it has given us, and we don't want to give up
on it. Right. So, like, we are committed to this work.
(06:39):
We're committed to helping share amazing
content and getting you connected with amazing
people and creatives. So we're going
to figure out the best way that works for us to be able to do that. And
so we're going to keep it up. Uh, we're going to keep it up,
you know. You know, so us pivoting, you know, it just
means that we still want to be in this fight and in this work with
(07:00):
you because we believe that this platform is super
important.
>> Tanorria (07:03):
And hopefully you all felt like our little pivot was
seamless. Like, hopefully you didn't even notice.
But, yeah. Uh, so going to be transparent here
and talk about how we do this work, because hopefully
it inspires somebody else to do this work, too,
so.
>> Candace (07:18):
Absolutely. Absolutely. Because we're not saying that it's
easy by any means.
>> Tanorria (07:22):
Not at all.
>> Candace (07:23):
Not at all. But we are saying that we're committed to this
work. So when you listen, when you share, when you
become a member of our Patreon, like, you guys,
really, that really helps us, uh, keep our show
running. I don't think people realize that, like,
just having a podcast,
how much work goes into
having the podcast, It's.
>> Tanorria (07:44):
It's work. I mean, not
even publishing an episode. Just
ideating.
>> Candace (07:51):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (07:52):
Reaching out to guests.
>> Candace (07:54):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (07:54):
Scheduling guests, thinking of guests
we need from guests.
>> Candace (07:59):
And like, we. The thing is, like, Tenori and
I, so Black Girls Eating is in its fourth
year of its alliteration.
Right. And snoring. I have had a list
of guests, um, that we have been working
on since before our show hit the airwaves.
>> Tanorria (08:15):
Yep.
>> Candace (08:15):
And so, you know, we. Every time that, you know, we
have our planning time together, which is typically at the end of the year, we talk
about where we're going to go for the next year. We really think
about what do we want to share, who do we want
to highlight, who can we uplift, who can we,
you know, point a light to, and y'all
uh, that really does take time and effort.
(08:37):
And we also don't want to be like, you
know,
um, what's the phrase? Like, person
of the moment. Like, we don't want to be that, you know,
trendy. We don't want to be that trendy.
>> Tanorria (08:50):
And some substance.
>> Candace (08:51):
Exactly.
>> Tanorria (08:52):
To our guests. And I. I feel like
people should know that by now, because
we don't just have people that deal with
food.
>> Candace (09:01):
Right.
>> Tanorria (09:01):
We talk about lots of things. Not to say that people
who deal with food don't have depth and substance. It's just
that we have expanded in addition
to that to make the podcast
rich, to make. Give you things to think
about, to challenge you. I tell you
what, my DEI clients, I
handpick episodes for them to listen to all the time. And it's not
(09:23):
because you and I are on it. It's because there's a
guest that says something that they need to hear.
>> Candace (09:28):
Absolutely. I. We use it. Not only do we
use it in our everyday work and lives, but, you
guys, Black Girls Eating is being used in college
curriculum. That's, you know, that tells you
that we are committed to this work and that we want
people to understand that this platform is
not just us getting behind some mics, talking, whatever we're
talking. We really are, you know, about
(09:50):
sharing what's good and what's needed for the world.
>> Tanorria (09:53):
So that's also an implication that we would love to be picked up by a
network. Call us, y'all. Yeah.
>> Candace (09:58):
Like, if you know somebody that knows.
>> Tanorria (10:00):
Somebody, send them our.
>> Candace (10:02):
Send them our way. Send an email connection, send a
text, send a carrier pigeon. Like, we really.
>> Tanorria (10:10):
But also ways that. That
can help us grow and build our platform.
Candice mentioned our Patreon. That one is a big deal
to us. It helps sustain the podcast,
but free things you could do. Share our stuff on social
media. It takes. It's free. Leave a
review on, um,
Spotify, on our website, on
(10:33):
Apple Podcast. Um,
on, I think Prime. Amazon prime
has podcasts. Google leave
reviews on those places and,
um, subscribe. And like. Like, the
more people that listen, the more people that download,
the more people that listen past one minute.
>> Candace (10:51):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (10:52):
Makes a difference.
>> Candace (10:53):
Yes. And the more people that engage, like, in actually
engaging with us, like, that really does help us. You all.
>> Tanorria (10:58):
Yeah. Like, I think we are real
close to having 2500 followers on black
Girls Eating. Or did.
>> Candace (11:05):
I think so, too. Uh, we may
have in the last couple of days.
>> Tanorria (11:11):
No, 64.
>> Candace (11:13):
Okay.
>> Tanorria (11:14):
Subscribers away. Or likes followers. Sorry,
Followers away. So that makes a
difference. Um, the subscribers
on the different streaming platforms. So, yeah, just
do the free stuff is easy, it's quick,
and it can make a big difference.
>> Candace (11:31):
Yeah, it really can. It makes a big
difference to where, you know, where we can go and
who can, you know, experience black rose eating. So
please do all of those things.
>> Tanorria (11:42):
So, um, it is October.
>> Candace (11:45):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (11:45):
Um, we are recording this episode a little
bit before it is
published. Um, it's published at the end of
October, exactly one week before
election Day. M. How you feeling?
What are you thinking?
>> Candace (12:02):
You know, I'm seeing a lot of yard signs pop up.
>> Tanorria (12:07):
Yes, me too.
>> Candace (12:09):
A lot of yard signs pop up. And,
um, I don't know, like,
days like today. Um, I'm really
hopeful, and I'm feeling like, okay,
this may be okay.
Um, but then you turn on. I was watching
something on tv, and of course, all
(12:30):
the commercials, that's all they are right
now. And I was just like, I don't
know, because here we are. Some of the
commercials are just so
bad.
>> Tanorria (12:42):
Dark.
>> Candace (12:43):
They're just dark. And they're just like. And the sad
thing is, like, those of us who know what's
true, I can't believe somebody would
actually believe this, but you know that they are.
>> Tanorria (12:54):
Yeah. Yeah.
That. That is heartbreaking,
honestly. Um, it's
heartbreaking that someone believes it, and
then it's also heartbreaking that that is what is
fueling their. Their voting decision. Yeah.
Yeah.
>> Candace (13:12):
And it's hard to, like, explain to people that
it's not just a one policy
issue. It's so many things.
Right. And it's not just for your
household.
>> Tanorria (13:24):
Right.
>> Candace (13:24):
Not just for your block. It's not just for your
community. The president of the United States
is not just the president of one group of
people.
>> Tanorria (13:33):
Right.
>> Candace (13:33):
It's the president for the United States.
Like, I just. I feel like I have
to reiterate that because some people just
seem to think that the president is only the president for one group, and it's
just like, no, that's not how this works at all.
>> Tanorria (13:48):
No, it's a democracy,
so. Yeah.
>> Candace (13:52):
Um, and I'm sure people are probably like, they're just going to keep on talking about this
election, and. Yeah, we are, because
it's. It's a big deal. It's
a big deal. And we don't have the luxury of not talking
about it and not being physically engaged.
>> Tanorria (14:07):
Right, Right. It
is our obligation. It is our civic duty.
It is a requirement for the
betterment of our world
and our country. Um, and
I vote not only for me, but I
vote for Maddie. Right. I vote for Emmy and
(14:28):
Ellis.
>> Candace (14:28):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (14:29):
So, like, come on, people.
Yeah.
>> Candace (14:33):
So it's. It's. Yeah. And. And
honestly, thank you all for listening to the.
To this series. Um, when we kind of planned this
out, we wanted to make sure we hit several
different issues. Um, and, uh,
I think we did that. And thank you for giving us feedback, because from
what we learned is that you guys appreciated the
information.
>> Tanorria (14:54):
Yeah. It's been received really well.
So I wouldn't say that we were
nervous or worried by any means. We were very
convicted that we were doing this.
Um, but it is a little bit
different from some of the episodes
we had in the past. So, uh,
(15:14):
we were ready for any backlash. We were
prepared. But I've been
pleasantly surprised with how well it's been
received. Right.
>> Candace (15:23):
The same. And of course, there's always going to be one or two people
that, you know.
>> Tanorria (15:27):
Yeah. Stuff.
>> Candace (15:28):
And, like, of, uh, course, like, when we go back and check our stars and stuff
on Apple, you know, you get. You can always tell, you
know. But again, like, I would much rather
share this information and get it to the people that
need to hear it than not share it, because the people don't
want to hear it. Like, I just. Yeah. I feel
way more convicted about that.
>> Tanorria (15:47):
Yeah.
>> Candace (15:48):
Yeah. I think I'm going to early vote.
>> Tanorria (15:51):
Same. I actually wanted to vote this
weekend, um, before we head out of town,
but there's nowhere that's in my
county that's open yet.
Yeah. So we're gonna go, um,
the Saturday before election day
and get it done. And there's never a line.
(16:12):
Usually we walk in and they're waiting for us.
>> Candace (16:15):
Yeah, same. That's always been my experience. Maddie, uh,
asked me the other day, and I picked her up from school. She's like, are we going to vote
again together? And I was like, yes. She was like, okay.
She's like, because I want to go with you. I was like, well, you've gone with me
every year since you were. Since you were a little baby.
I'm like, so. Of course. It's our thing. It's what we do. She's like, okay. She's
like, I'm gonna go before school so that I can wear my sticker
(16:35):
all day. I was like, that's fine. And
so. Yeah. Like, she's all about it. And, like, she is serious.
Because she's like, wait, Joe Biden's not running again?
I'm like, no. She's like, okay, good. She's like, it's just gonna. I was
like, yeah, so she was like, worried.
>> Tanorria (16:50):
She's like.
>> Candace (16:50):
Because he's kind of old. Mom.
>> Tanorria (16:52):
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I love
it.
>> Candace (16:55):
So funny. But I've been. I just been. You
know, and even like when I go like to the store or something, I'm like, hey, I
registered to vote. Like I mention it like, everywhere because I
just want people to be engaged. And like, I get
it. A lot of our generation is very,
um. I don't want to say
disengaged, but we're very almost like,
(17:15):
eh. Like we don't.
>> Tanorria (17:18):
Yeah.
>> Candace (17:19):
Like we're torn.
>> Tanorria (17:21):
There's still the vibe that there was the last
election of people saying the lesser of
two evils.
>> Candace (17:27):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Tanorria (17:28):
That's how they're making their decision.
>> Candace (17:30):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (17:31):
I don't know that I agree with that anymore.
>> Candace (17:34):
I definitely don't. I never have.
But I mean, you know.
>> Tanorria (17:38):
Yeah. It's like, do, uh,
you want to go back hundreds
of years or want to move even
just an inch forward? That that's what it. What
it, you know, matter mounts up for me.
>> Candace (17:53):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (17:53):
Um. But yeah, I'm. I'm
excited about
the election. I just.
Oh, yeah.
>> Candace (18:05):
I'm just.
>> Tanorria (18:05):
Yeah, I'm hopeful. But I'm also just a smidge
nervous.
>> Candace (18:09):
Same. Same.
>> Tanorria (18:10):
Because it is going to be such a, ah,
close race. Like.
Yeah. And.
>> Candace (18:17):
And. And that, I think gives me anxiety
too, the fact that it's going to be such a close.
Because it's like. Because then in my mind I'm like, it's not even
close. But hey, I mean, you know, people have, you
know, different feelings and beliefs. So we'll see.
>> Tanorria (18:31):
Yeah, we'll see.
Oh, uh, well, with the cold
weather and the fall
and our political climate. What
are you doing right now to take care of yourself and
with your crazy busy schedule, Girl, I
still haven't seen you since your birthday.
>> Candace (18:51):
I know, I know. It's pretty. Pretty
tragic. Um, you
know, I am
making it a point to continue
reading for pleasure.
>> Tanorria (19:06):
Yeah.
>> Candace (19:06):
In addition to my school stuff, because
it's the one thing that I think I
don't have to have any expectation beyond.
And I can just read, you know, something.
>> Tanorria (19:18):
Whatever.
>> Candace (19:18):
Whatever. And it be. It be fine. And
I don't, um, have to write anything about it. I
don't have to exegete it. Like I can just enjoy it.
Um, so that's kind of been,
um, where. Where I am with that.
And just, um. Maddie has
started a new business. Oh,
yes. She, um, has something called
(19:41):
the Accessor Accessorizables or something
like that. I Can't think of the name, but she's working through the concept.
And she made custom jewelry, custom bracelets.
Yeah. Glass beads. And so, like, really kind of
like helping her with that. And so, um,
it's been a lot of fun, like, seeing her do that. So
she's been letting me make bracelets with her. So that's been fun. And so, you
(20:01):
know, I still like anything I can be creative with. Like, with my
hands is always fun. So just,
um, that and just, you know, it's cold.
Um, you know, it's October, so I'm about to put my trees
up.
>> Tanorria (20:13):
Yeah.
>> Candace (20:14):
Um, so looking forward to that. Like, when you texted me the
other day, I was like, so? And I was like, yes. The
answer is yes. Like, you didn't even have to say it.
Like, m. Yes, I guess I will come to your treat for you.
Um, and I love the fact that you put the discount to the
disclaimer. Hey, I don't put my trees up until this
date. I'm thinking in my head, I don't care about that. Whatever you want to do
(20:34):
it, it's fine.
>> Tanorria (20:37):
Oh, God. I waited until, um,
the weekend after Thanksgiving last year, and
I was a little bummed by that. Like,
I definitely was like, okay, I'm going to do it sooner this
year because we hosted Thanksgiving, and
my trees were so pretty that I was like, I wanted
this next to my Thanksgiving table. Like, it was
(20:58):
so pretty. So, yes,
definitely after our anniversary on
October 31, but before Thanksgiving
this year for sure. Yeah.
>> Candace (21:09):
I'm excited. What about you? What? How are you keeping
yourself grounded and how are
you loving back on yourself?
>> Tanorria (21:17):
Yeah. I, um,
have told you this. I'm still in this season of I don't know what I'm
doing with my life, and I don't care. And I don't wanna say I don't care
in a bad way. It's just that I don't feel shame and
guilt about that.
>> Candace (21:30):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (21:30):
Past I would have been beating myself up about it, and I
don't feel that, but I feel like I'm starting to
come out of that. And so I am just
staying aware and curious.
And I think that is a good
headspace to be in.
>> Candace (21:47):
That's good.
>> Tanorria (21:49):
I am reading or listening to a lot
of audiobooks. I just finished,
um, Ketanji Brown Jackson's
book.
>> Candace (21:59):
It's on my list.
>> Tanorria (22:01):
She's a great storyteller.
>> Candace (22:03):
Really.
>> Tanorria (22:04):
The book was good. I really enjoyed it.
Um, and so, yeah, I'm doing that.
And then I am on this very
Interesting sourdough journey where I've
got the starter down, I've got the process down, but my bread
is not baking right because I'm really. It's the
bulk fermentation part is where I'm getting stuck.
And so I'm having fun with it. Like, it's
(22:26):
frustrating me to know get out, because I even did a
cinnamon sugar one. And the swirls in that bread were
stunning, but the texture of the bread was not
fabulous. And so I'm just having fun with
that. Closing out the garden, planting
garlic, because you plant that, um, before
frost. And so I'm doing stuff
like that, um,
(22:48):
and also just enjoying my home.
>> Candace (22:52):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (22:53):
Yeah. Work is picking up,
and I'm figuring out what I'm saying
yes and no to and doing it freely, without
shame or without guilt. And that feels great. Uh,
so, yeah. And taking care of my
body. I'm moving my body more, paying
attention to what I put in my body. I mean,
(23:13):
don't get me wrong, I was real curious about the chicken Big Mac, just
because I was curious. But also I'm
prioritizing protein and fiber and things like that.
So that is what I'm doing. And I feel like that
is occupying enough of my time where it doesn't feel like
I'm trying to escape, but really,
it's. It's making me be present and
intentional. Yeah, yeah,
(23:35):
yeah, yeah. I.
I'm in a, uh. I tell my therapist all the time. I
am in such a great
space with all of my life
except for my career.
And it's not a bad space with my career.
It's just a slow space
with my career. But it's also like, God is like,
(23:57):
girl, have you noticed the last few years
before, like, when did you sit down?
You didn't, right?
I'm just taking this slow time and trying to
appreciate it.
Uh, hey, friends,
it's Tanoria. My first ever
cookbook. Staples Plus 5 is available wherever
(24:18):
cookbooks are sold. It was voted one of the best cookbooks
in 2020 by glamour magazine.com you
can purchase it at tenoriastable.com
books and make sure to tell me what your favorite recipe
is.
>> Candace (24:30):
Hey, y'all. It's Candace the spice slinger. Here
is your food. Bland, unseasoned.
Let's spice it up with seasonings from Food Love Tog.
Catch me
online@foodlovetog.com
Be seasoned, y'all. Well, I love that you
are number one. Feeding yourself
good things, that always makes me happy. Um,
(24:51):
because I feel like a lot of times those of us who
do food work. We don't feed ourselves good things all the time.
>> Tanorria (24:57):
Absolutely. Yep.
>> Candace (24:58):
Um, so that's one of the things I'm really glad to hear. And
I'm just glad that you are in a space to be
open to whatever happens and to be okay
with it.
>> Tanorria (25:08):
Uh. Hm. Yep. Yep.
>> Candace (25:11):
And I think that's a luxury that not everyone has.
>> Tanorria (25:14):
No. And I can honestly say that if it weren't
for my therapist and my life coach,
there's no way I'd have that mindset. I would
be a uncontrollable
hot mess right now if I didn't
have the last four years of therapy
and coaching. Yeah. So I am,
um, super grateful for that.
>> Candace (25:36):
Yeah. I'm glad you went to that up here because I think, again, it's one of those
things that, like, um, we
don't always give credence to.
>> Tanorria (25:44):
Yeah.
>> Candace (25:44):
Having those additional outside tools.
Um. Because you can build yourself from the inside out all you want,
but you still need those outside tools to just kind of help you
keep the toolbox steady.
>> Tanorria (25:55):
Yes, exactly. It's about the
toolbox.
I think I've even heard you say this, but it's
like we spend so much time waiting for the other shoe to
drop, but now we're in a space where
either we're not consumed with
waiting for the other shoe to drop or we
know the shoe is dropping. We just have the tools to deal with it.
>> Candace (26:17):
Exactly.
>> Tanorria (26:18):
Exactly.
>> Candace (26:19):
Like, I mean, like, you know, October is such
a hard month for me. It is hard. Like, I've gone through
a lot in the month of October and I
just. Even with all the
tools that I have, like, I still come to this month and I'm just
like, okay, what
can I do to safeguard
(26:40):
and. And to prepare myself? And part
of it is I literally read something this morning
and my devotion was just like, you have to be willing
to sit with the uneasiness and the uncomfort.
>> Tanorria (26:51):
Yeah.
>> Candace (26:52):
And I think a lot of times we push past that.
>> Tanorria (26:55):
Right.
>> Candace (26:55):
Or because it's not. We ignore it because
it's not fun. But in the end, we're so much better
for sitting with it. And I mean, that's
why, like, I'm so big about naming the thing
and like, sharing it and like, not caring, like,
how it makes other people feel.
>> Tanorria (27:11):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Candace (27:12):
And I think, I think that's
something that we need that we as, uh, black women
have to do more often because we. Because
the world sees us as, ah, these super women. We always have a cape
on. We always it's always fine. It's always fine. But
no, like, we're in a space where we can say, you know
what? Today is not a good day. Like, even,
(27:33):
like, you know, like. And of course, like, we're such good friends that, like,
we see each other and we immediately know, like, you
know, what's wrong. Like, you can look at me and say, hey, how are
you? And I. And I. And I didn't even.
I. I started to say, I'm fine,
but I'm talking to my girl. She's going to know,
why lie? Like, you know, why just say, you know, today's a hard
day. And, like. And that's okay. And I think. I think the
(27:55):
more and more, like, we do that, the more and more it
gives other people space to be.
>> Tanorria (28:00):
Able to do that.
>> Candace (28:00):
Because every time that I share and write about grief
or write about just feeling your feelings, someone always comes back and
says, thank you so much for doing that. Uh,
thank you for being transparent and thank you for being authentic about it. And I
think it just. It's one of. It's that there's a beauty in it. It doesn't
have to be pretty, but it's so beautiful.
>> Tanorria (28:17):
Yeah. No, you're. You're right.
You're right. I. I love that we
have created a space for each other and for
others to be
truthful about what they're feeling and what they're
thinking and what's going on.
I'm fine. Or everything's okay.
(28:37):
Or just putting a smile because, yeah,
it's not healthy to sweep that stuff under the rug.
>> Candace (28:43):
It's not. It's not. I mean, we're holding so much,
and I think if we all look at it from
the idea that everybody is carrying something that we don't
know about.
>> Tanorria (28:53):
Yep.
>> Candace (28:53):
We'd be a lot more gentle with each other.
>> Tanorria (28:56):
Yep. You're absolutely right. Yeah.
>> Candace (28:59):
I mean, like, I wrote that in my book. Like, if we
realize that some days some people just sit in the
corporate parking lot and cry because they can't go into the
store. Like, we would be much better
for each other if we just held space. Like, I had to
go to the store today, and I'm, um, picking up
something, and I get to the. To the cashier, and
(29:19):
I am bawling.
Bawling. And she's just like, sweetie, you okay? I'm like, no.
She's like, okay. And, like, it was just, like, the
sweetest moment. Like, I was honest with, like, I didn't know that woman
from Adam, but the fact that you know, we can hold space
for people like that. I think we have to be willing to do that because
we're all going through so much.
>> Tanorria (29:40):
Yeah. You know, speaking of books,
when are we publishing? Boo.
>> Candace (29:45):
I don't have a date yet. Okay. I'm
in the throes of COVID edits.
>> Tanorria (29:51):
Yeah.
>> Candace (29:54):
I'm, um, hoping by the end of the year, but we'll see.
>> Tanorria (29:57):
You know what, though? At least you can have an opinion on your
cover edits, because I was just talking to an
author who just recently published, and they were not happy
with their cover, and they were pretty much told. Oh,
well.
>> Candace (30:10):
Uh. Really?
>> Tanorria (30:11):
Yeah, yeah. Like, I feel like,
like, a minor tweak was made, but it
wasn't the big change that they were looking
for.
>> Candace (30:20):
So they just had to be okay with
this cover that they didn't like.
>> Tanorria (30:24):
Yeah, I had
a battle with my cover, and the crazy thing
about it was it took
someone completely outside of my
entire publishing team to
find what was wrong and, like,
give me a fix that I liked.
So I just kept saying, I don't
(30:47):
like it, and I can't put my finger on what I don't like, but it
does. It's not right. And I took it
to a friend of mine who, yes, she knew I was writing
a book, but she had nothing to do with any of
the writing process, nothing to do with the,
uh, creativity or the layout of the book.
And I sent the COVID to her, and I was like,
(31:07):
help me communicate to them what I don't like. Because
she's a graphic designer. I was like, help me
communicate to them what I don't like. I can't put it into
words. She changed one
thing. A plus sign. The plus
sign in Staples plus five. That's all she
changed. And I was like, that's it. Fix
it. So
(31:31):
you are not,
um, alone in this
journey of COVID art and design that you're
in. For some reason, that trips a lot of people
up. Because it's the first impression of your
baby.
>> Candace (31:45):
Exactly.
>> Tanorria (31:46):
And you have to live with it forever. And you want to
look at it and feel proud and excited
and feel like it's you. It's expressing
you. And so when it doesn't look right
or feel right. Yeah. You're not alone
in that.
>> Candace (32:00):
Yeah. And it also made me very confident of how sometimes
you'll get a book and it'll get a cover redesign. And I
was like, I see that. Yeah, I see how that
happens. Yeah, I see how that happened. So we'll
see. We'll see. Um, I've. I uh,
recently picked ah, up.
I picked up um,
(32:22):
another book about grief and
I ah. Yeah, I just, yeah,
I'm here for it. Like, I feel like the last couple
of years that's been a big topic for
people and so I think people are going to be able
to like, resonate with that. So we'll see.
Good.
>> Tanorria (32:46):
How's Maddie doing?
>> Candace (32:47):
Oh My God, she's 10.
>> Tanorria (32:49):
And I just
been 10 for a minute. She
has six months of Tennessee.
>> Candace (32:57):
I know. And she's already talking about turning 11. She wants
to, she wants to color her hair, she wants her
nails done. Like her. She's like, mom, not the kind I
do, but you know, like where you go. She wants a
dad and she's just, she's upset that she's not going to see
Taylor Swift because she'll be here in a couple of weeks. And I was like, oh, I didn't.
>> Tanorria (33:14):
Know she was a Tay Tay fan.
>> Candace (33:16):
Oh, yes, she is a Taylor. Oh,
are you kidding me? She is totally screwed up my Spotify
because
all of her listening to Taylor Swift has
made it into my top of the year. And so.
>> Tanorria (33:30):
Yeah, that is excellent.
>> Candace (33:32):
Yeah. Cruel Summer was like number three last year. I was like,
absolutely not. Like, no. But
she's just, she's so fun and she. 10
is a fun age. We're having a
hard time because, like, kids these days are
mean and so she doesn't understand, like how kids are
just mean for no reason.
>> Tanorria (33:51):
Yeah.
>> Candace (33:52):
And so she's. She gets her feelings hurt a lot at school, so we kind of
work through that. And like she doesn't, you know, she
doesn't get that like kids are just like, mean because she's not a
mean kid and so she doesn't understand it. And so,
um. But then like, she's getting her chops and so sometimes she'll be
mean back and I'm like, hey, like,
we don't have to be mean just because someone else is mean. Like, let's
(34:13):
not, let's not do that. So like teaching her how to
not be a mean girl and how to be kind. But she's
funny. She's just funny. Um, I just,
I wish I was as cool as her attend.
>> Tanorria (34:24):
Right? Yeah.
>> Candace (34:26):
Yeah. Like, listen, you
posted Ellis for his birthday.
I saved that reel because it is so funny
to me.
>> Tanorria (34:38):
Titi boop, Mommy boop, Emmy
boop.
>> Candace (34:42):
Like nobody but him like that sent me. I was like, that
is so mean. When somebody asked me like, are you going to Target?
No, no. Like it's so I Just
love it. I love it.
>> Tanorria (34:52):
Such a, such a little boy in that he wants to
talk about poop and he loves bugs. Like
how am I? Uh, a TT that bought
him a bug. Bug finding kit for his.
>> Candace (35:04):
Did you really?
>> Tanorria (35:05):
It's like a little thing that like sucks up the
bug, but it does it humanely. The bug doesn't
die. And then he can like look at
it in the little thing and then he has like a little
box that you could put it in to like keep it.
>> Candace (35:22):
I am shook, right?
>> Tanorria (35:24):
I'm like, that toy can stay at your house.
>> Candace (35:26):
Your house. Yeah.
That's the kind of toy to say yes.
Mhm.
>> Tanorria (35:33):
And he did. He. They were. They have a
little. Well, it's not little. It's a big play
dollhouse situation in their backyard
and they were playing in it and he
found himself a bug and his mama sent me a
picture.
>> Candace (35:51):
No, I'm. Yeah, Maddie was, Maddie was
obsessed with insects for a while.
Beetles, um, and butterflies
and. And I was like, hey,
these are outside friends. Yes,
we keep these friends outside. They
live. This is their home. Your home
(36:11):
does not need them.
>> Tanorria (36:13):
Yeah, because I am.
>> Candace (36:15):
No, I'm not that kind of mama.
>> Tanorria (36:17):
No thanks. No thanks. No.
>> Candace (36:20):
But now we're in the throes of looking at middle school then I'm just not
ready.
>> Tanorria (36:24):
Oh gosh.
>> Candace (36:25):
Yeah. I've already applied to two because the
waitlist starts so early. So I just like, I don't want to be
behind. So I applied already and so we'll see.
We'll see.
>> Tanorria (36:35):
Wow. Middle school.
>> Candace (36:38):
M hm.
>> Tanorria (36:38):
That is an awkward age. Do you remember middle school for
you? I hated it.
>> Candace (36:46):
I despise
middle school.
>> Tanorria (36:50):
Yeah.
>> Candace (36:52):
It was such a hard time.
>> Tanorria (36:54):
Yeah.
>> Candace (36:54):
Because you're. You go through so many emotional and physical
changes in a, ah, such a short period of time.
>> Tanorria (37:01):
Yeah.
>> Candace (37:01):
And it just, it's overwhelming.
>> Tanorria (37:04):
It is.
>> Candace (37:06):
It's overwhelming. Like I,
I would not recommend zero attitude.
>> Tanorria (37:11):
I was awkward. The people around me were awkward.
The people around me were mean.
>> Candace (37:16):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (37:17):
There's something about being in
a township school or
a predominantly white school as
a little black girl in middle school.
Still even more singled out than
just your day to day being a black girl.
>> Candace (37:34):
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I recall
I had bigger boobs.
>> Tanorria (37:39):
Than everyone else and
my hair didn't do the same things that everyone else's
did.
>> Candace (37:47):
Like the stress of having, like
having P.E. and uh. Oh,
uh, God, yes. Oh,
uh, I do not miss that time.
>> Tanorria (37:58):
Don't want to go back to that at all.
>> Candace (38:00):
I go back to high school before I Go back to middle school, though.
>> Tanorria (38:03):
Oh, I don't want to go. I hated high school, too.
>> Candace (38:06):
Really?
>> Tanorria (38:06):
Yeah. Yeah. I felt
like I didn't have my own identity
for most of it because I was Askew's
sister. Um, and
then I.
I appreciate being in
marching band and being a part of a team,
(38:28):
and a lot of that has shaped me, and
I'm grateful for that. That is the only
thing. And maybe one or two teachers,
I would say. Yeah, a handful of teachers,
um, that I admire from
high school. But other than that, there's nothing about it. I
mean, I did meet my husband in high school.
>> Candace (38:47):
You did? I was gonna say there was a. Yeah.
>> Tanorria (38:50):
But we didn't even go to the same high school, so I could have met
him any other way. But
funny story, my
third and fourth grade teacher just reached
out to me on social media. Mm.
And, I mean, I had
no idea if she was living or dead. Uh, no
(39:10):
clue. And I got this. This
Facebook message or this Facebook comment. And
it was like, there's that beautiful smile, and it was this random white woman.
And I was like, who the hell is this?
And then another comment came through from the same person,
and it was like, hey, this is
your old teacher, Ms. Chapman, now, I think,
(39:30):
Ms. Weeks, or something like that. Um,
just wanted to tell you that I've been following your journey, and I'm so
proud of you. And I, like, started to tear up.
>> Candace (39:40):
Because I was like, wow.
>> Tanorria (39:43):
And she was a teacher that I'll never forget
because I had her in third grade, and then
she kind of got promoted, so I also had her in fourth
grade. In third grade, I think she was a brand new
teacher, and she was engaged
to be married. And so in third
grade, we learned how to spell Wednesday.
Wed. Nest day. We would say wed
(40:06):
and spell it. She would giggle because she was getting married.
And I remember she invited all of us to her wedding,
but we had, like, a family obligation or something. I didn't get
to go. But then I had her in the fourth
grade, and she picked,
like, five students at the end of the
year to go to a, uh, like, little
party at her house. And I was one of the students that
(40:28):
got picked. And it was actually,
I think she had it at her dad's house because she
and her husband were, like, in an apartment at the time. And
I'll never forget, it's a house that is on the
corner of a really prominent street
in Indianapolis. And, like, I
would drive by that house all the time to go to church. And then I got
(40:48):
to Go in that house as a kid,
and I will never forget her. So
that was.
>> Candace (40:54):
I love that.
>> Tanorria (40:56):
That was.
>> Candace (40:56):
You just. You just sparked a memory. I went down
a TikTok rabbit hole of teachers, um,
getting married and inviting their classes.
>> Tanorria (41:04):
Oh, it's so cute.
>> Candace (41:07):
The cutest thing.
>> Tanorria (41:08):
Like, you.
>> Candace (41:09):
I love it, like, when the kindergartners, like, so,
like, one teacher had, like, a group of kindergarteners, and
so, like, she was teaching them about etiquette
and, like, table manners and, like, uh, how,
like, they all got to get dressed up and how it was, like, such
a big deal. And, like, she was like, for some of them, like, this is
the first time they go to something like this. And so, like, they didn't
(41:30):
know until, like, several of them, like, brought
presents of their own. Like, it was just.
I was like, cry me a river,
because I just was. It was so cute. It was
super cute. I love that.
>> Tanorria (41:43):
Speaking of, um, little kids in etiquette.
Okay, I know we're not supposed to talk about the Cosby show, but I will talk
about the Cosby Show. I will just not talk about Bill Cosby. Okay,
okay.
>> Candace (41:52):
Fair. Fair.
>> Tanorria (41:54):
And there was the episode where Rudy
and some of her friends got to go to a fancy dinner.
Do you remember that?
>> Candace (42:01):
Yes, yes.
>> Tanorria (42:02):
And Bud was like, what are crowns?
And they were croutons. And they had all the forks. They're like, what
are all these forks for? I loved that
episode. And they ended up finally going to,
like, an improv show and had
burgers because they were like, ew. Oh.
>> Candace (42:18):
Uh, and remember, like, I feel like Peter runs away
like he always does.
>> Tanorria (42:22):
Yes.
>> Candace (42:23):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (42:25):
Oh, that was so great.
>> Candace (42:26):
Peter is, like, the, like, most,
um, underrated, but undefeated character on
the Cosby Show.
>> Tanorria (42:33):
I know no words.
>> Candace (42:35):
No words. Just a look and a
runaway. Like, I love.
>> Tanorria (42:40):
That was so great. Uh, you know
they're doing a, uh, remake of A Different
World, supposedly. Yes, I think so.
>> Candace (42:48):
Listen, you already know I'm on it. Like, do
they need any extras? Do they? Because I've got my human
shirt on right now.
I am, like, so. And everybody has been
singing to me because they know how much I love.
I love m. Listen, people,
y'all have to understand, in the
(43:10):
90s, seeing Hillman on
TV the best. I just
knew I was going to Hillman,
right? What do you mean?
>> Tanorria (43:20):
Like, I was dumbfounded that that wasn't a real college.
>> Candace (43:23):
You could apply to feelings
hurt. Okay? Like, what do you mean? I'm not going
to Hillman, and I'm not going to be in Gilbert Hall, I don't
understand. What do you mean?
What do you mean I'm not going to get my flip down glasses?
What? How do you mean Mr. Gaines is
not going to be making my burger and fry? Like, I
don't understand.
>> Tanorria (43:43):
Oh, I really hope
that they bring back as many
original characters as possible.
>> Candace (43:51):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (43:52):
And, um, I
really hope that, like, I know it's supposed to be
based on what I've read says it's supposed to be
based on, um, Whitley
and Dewayne's daughter.
>> Candace (44:05):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (44:06):
But I hope that there are,
like, Freddie's
kids.
>> Candace (44:12):
Yes. Yes. Or like, Freddie is
like. She is like the dorm
mom. Like, that would just be like.
>> Tanorria (44:20):
Yes, yes. I
really hope that there's all the
sprinklings. And what I love is I
watch A Different World multiple times within a year.
>> Candace (44:31):
Same.
>> Tanorria (44:32):
And every time I watch it, I'm like, man, there were
some messages that are appropriate even
today.
>> Candace (44:38):
I catch something new every single time.
Like the episode where Freddie finds
the link to the underground railroad.
>> Tanorria (44:46):
Yes.
>> Candace (44:47):
You talk about bawling my eyes
out. Or, um, the
apartheid episode. Yes.
>> Tanorria (44:55):
The episode where they
go back to a dream and they're like Ross Perot.
>> Candace (45:01):
Yes. Yes.
>> Tanorria (45:03):
Like Jennifer Lewis in that episode.
>> Candace (45:06):
What they were doing in that series
was so ahead of their time. Like,
I appreciate. I appreciate it so much. And it
really did shape my college career.
And it still shapes, like, what my activism
and my community work looks like today. It really
does. Like, we don't give that show enough credit. That and
(45:26):
Living Single.
>> Tanorria (45:28):
Yeah. Oh, gosh, that's my bedtime show. I go to sleep to Living
Single.
>> Candace (45:31):
Listen, Kyle
Barker is probably my
favorite character on tv.
He's just so. He's such a talented actor
anyway. But, uh, like, between him and, I mean, Maxine,
the maverick, like, all day, the best.
>> Tanorria (45:47):
Erica. I love following her on social media
now.
>> Candace (45:50):
She's so great. If anybody that knows her,
send her this episode so we can get her on Black Girls Eating, that would
just be.
>> Tanorria (45:58):
We would love to give you your flowers on Black Girls
Eating.
>> Candace (46:01):
Yes. You shaped our lives so much,
Erica. Like, yeah. If you're listening to this, we love
you too.
>> Tanorria (46:08):
We do. I loved seeing her in, um.
Oh, gosh, I can't even think of the name of the movie, but it had
Tracee Ellis Ross in it as well and
Issa Rae in it.
>> Candace (46:21):
Oh, what was she in? Oh,
recently.
>> Tanorria (46:25):
Yeah.
>> Candace (46:26):
Uh, I can't think of it, the.
>> Tanorria (46:28):
Name of it, but I loved seeing her
play such a different role compared to
Scene.
>> Candace (46:34):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (46:34):
She was in Another show as well, for, like, a
hot second.
>> Candace (46:38):
And I was like, I'll have to check it out. It
was a series.
>> Tanorria (46:42):
Yeah. Anyway, I can't remember it,
but, yeah.
>> Candace (46:46):
Those were the good old days. The good old days. I mean, I mean,
that's good TV now, but, like, I still go back to those comfort
shows because the, the writing was so good and
it looked like me.
>> Tanorria (46:56):
Yeah.
>> Candace (46:57):
Like, I. I saw myself. Like, I just
knew I was going to be Khadijah James
100.
>> Tanorria (47:03):
I knew.
>> Candace (47:04):
I just knew. I'm a writer. I'm gonna write. I'm gonna have
a magazine. Like, I mean, I just knew that I was gonna be Khadija.
And so it. Just to see myself on
screen, even as a little girl, like, now it's
still just. I see it. Come on. I'm just a. Look at Queen Latifah. Like,
she can do no longer my book. She can do no wrong.
>> Tanorria (47:21):
I know. I love the trajectory of her career.
>> Candace (47:24):
Me too.
>> Tanorria (47:24):
Love. Oh, yeah. She is so
talented. Yeah.
>> Candace (47:29):
That's good stuff. Uh, I'm going to have to watch that later.
>> Tanorria (47:33):
Yeah.
>> Candace (47:34):
Good stuff.
>> Tanorria (47:36):
Well, friends, we are. We have a few
more episodes left for this season. You'll hear
from Candace and, and I again before the season's over.
And then, you know, we take a little break. So
expect us to take a break in December
and probably January, but,
um. Go vote. Go
out, vote. Go out and vote. Go out
(47:59):
and vote. Look at your schedules. Now,
these episode drops, you have exactly a week left
to figure out if early voting is right for
you, if going to the polls the day of the election
is right for you. Um, we've been posting
some resources on what you need in
order to be prepared to vote. Please have your
ID ready or driver's license
(48:21):
ready. Take your voter registration card with
you if you have it, especially if you are
a person of color or you are in a
new county that you've never voted before, you've never been
registered in before. Take that stuff
with you. Be prepared. Take some
snacks and some bottled water if you
(48:42):
have mobility issues. Take a folding
chair with you if you have. If you think you're going to
be standing in a long line, if you think you're going to be
standing outside, bundle up. Get,
um, some hand warmers. Whatever it
takes. Be prepared to do your civic
duty, because literally every
(49:03):
single vote will count. Our past
guest, um, Kelly Doucet,
said that some people in
different local elections lost elections by
tens of votes.
>> Candace (49:15):
One vote, like I saw. Yeah. I mean,
really. And, and if you, let's say you already have voted,
take offer to take someone to vote. Like,
don't let you know, access be a
barrier. Take someone with you.
Yeah. And you need a ride, call me because I'll take you
too. So there's that. Uh, call people
now.
>> Tanorria (49:38):
Figure, um, out if you know, you need to get an Uber.
If you can't afford it, start talking about
affording it now. Figure out the public
transportation schedule. Now. Just be
prepared, um, because we don't want
any reason whatsoever for you to give up.
And we can say that black and brown people, we
know that, um, when it
(50:00):
comes to voting equities
or voting inequities, they will
come up with a myriad of reasons for you to give
up.
>> Candace (50:10):
Absolutely.
>> Tanorria (50:10):
We're just asking you, please, please, please don't
stay in line. Don't give up.
>> Candace (50:15):
Don't give up. Don't give up. All right, friends.
Well, we will, um, check you guys out next
time. Thank you for listening to Black Girls Eating and thank
you to our lovely friends at
Christchurch Cathedral for supporting our episode and
making it available to listeners like you. Thank you. We love you. We'll
talk to you later.
>> Tanorria (50:33):
Bye bye.
>> Candace (50:34):
Black Girls Eating the podcast is
sound engineered and Produced by David McKissick.
It's recorded at Nexus Impact
Center Creative Suite.
Follow Black Girls Eating the podcast on Instagram
@BlackGirlSeating. Follow Tenoria
@Tenoria's Table. Follow
Candice @FoodLoveTog. Thank you for listening.
Welcome to Black Girls Eating. Uh, a conversation about
justice, black girl magic and well
seasoned food. We are Black Girls Eating
and welcome to our podcast.
>> Tanorria (00:18):
This episode was brought to you by Christ Church
Cathedral. Follow them on Instagram at
thatchurchonthecircle or go to their website
cccindy.org for more information.
Hi, friend.
>> Candace (00:32):
Hello.
>> Tanorria (00:34):
How are you on this bright sun,
shiny and cold day?
>> Candace (00:39):
I'm, um, cold. And I just
know that it's October and
I'm not even gonna hold you. Like, I don't want it to be
cold.
>> Tanorria (00:48):
I know. We ask ourselves every year, why do
we live here?
>> Candace (00:52):
Why do we live here? And it just. I
mean. Yeah, I
just, uh.
>> Tanorria (01:00):
The problem with living in the good old
Midwest is that it was
nice and comfortable and like,
still wearing sandals
and overnight, literally
like, where are my boots?
Where's my jacket? And we're
(01:21):
barely gonna get jacket time. Like, it's gonna be coat
time soon. Yeah, we don't, we
like. I don't buy a lot of fall and
spring jackets because we get like two
weeks with them.
>> Candace (01:33):
Yeah. Like, I have already started
wearing my
typically late fall
shirt. Like, I already. I'm, um.
Yeah, I just, I'm not okay about
it. I'm not even going to lie. Like, I feel away about
this and I don't
know, Like, I love. It's weird, right,
(01:55):
Though, right? Because, like, I hate the cold part,
but I love how fall looks in
Indiana. It is so beautiful.
>> Tanorria (02:04):
It is beautiful. It's true. I think that's the thing that
kind of like makes you
okay with the seasons changing, is the
beauty of it. And watching God's handiwork.
>> Candace (02:15):
Yes, yes. Like, I love, I love because
there's a street near our house, there's a ton of trees
and like right now they're starting to change.
And so, like, I can see all the beautiful colors
and I just. I love it. Like, I, um, I love
it. And like, my Bradford pear tree has
finally done what it's going to do for the fall, so my eyes
(02:35):
aren't falling off. And it's just. I feel
that. I feel that.
>> Tanorria (02:41):
Yeah. And I love fall because I do love, like,
cozy sweatshirts and pretty
chunky sweaters. And the food, fall
food is like, I love the fresh flavors of
spring and summer and there's nothing like a
good Indiana tomato in the heat of August.
And. But I also love
(03:01):
going to apple orchards in Indiana and
having apple cider and,
you know, cinnamon and warm
spices.
>> Candace (03:10):
Yes, yes, yes. I have
literally eaten my weight in honey for
sour right I'm um,
pretty much at two bags a week. Like
I'm getting two bags a week and I pretty much eat
two a day. One in the morning and one in the evening.
>> Tanorria (03:27):
Sometimes three apples have been my dessert
lately. Like you know, trying to
watch sugar intake
and uh, balancing out lots of protein
and fiber and apples have great fiber. So
some apples and that. Um.
Oh gosh, I can't think of the brand, but there's
a honey almond butter.
>> Candace (03:49):
Uh, you get it at Trader Joe's?
>> Tanorria (03:52):
No, I got it at Kroger.
>> Candace (03:54):
Ah.
>> Tanorria (03:56):
I cannot think of the name. And it's a popular brand
because they make good like almond butter, like
Reese type cups too. And the name, the brand is
escaping me. But a honey
crisp and I sprinkle just a little bit of
lemon juice on it and then that honey
almond butter. It's a delicious dessert.
>> Candace (04:16):
Mine? Yes, mine is
the honey crust apples with the
wee dairy free coconut yogurt.
Oh yeah.
>> Tanorria (04:27):
I'm trying to find a good coconut yogurt because
I, I'm a hardcore
whole milk Greek yogurt. Whole
milk has to be Greek. My body processes that
better. But um, a lot
of products that I've been eating, I've been trying to focus on
lactose free and even my doctor was like, what
(04:47):
about cocon yogurt? And I'm like, I just,
it's not as luscious.
>> Candace (04:52):
I, ah, promise you the wee one, it
is, it's really good. It's really, really
good. They um, have vanilla, they have
a mango, they have a raspberry and a
strawberry. Very good.
>> Tanorria (05:04):
I love me a good mango yogurt with some
blueberries and patachou granola
of that combination.
>> Candace (05:12):
Listen, I may, yeah.
>> Tanorria (05:14):
Mhm.
>> Candace (05:14):
I may have to have a late lunch at Pattitude today
because.
Yes.
Um, well, you guys, welcome to Black Girls
Eating. I'm Candace.
>> Tanorria (05:28):
I'm Tenoria.
>> Candace (05:30):
And we are going to chat it up today. We're going
to, uh, you know, just.
>> Tanorria (05:34):
You know, give you an update of.
>> Candace (05:35):
What'S going on with our girls eating and you know, talk about
what we're looking forward to in this next season.
>> Tanorria (05:41):
Yes. Yeah, yeah. We,
we've had some great episodes thus
far.
>> Candace (05:48):
We have.
>> Tanorria (05:49):
It feels a little bit like a whirlwind because we
started and things were a little bit different for
us this year because of how we're recording and our
schedules. But it came together
really well.
>> Candace (06:02):
Yes. And it's one of those things where it's like when you make
the pivot, everything else comes together for you
like when you. You know what I mean?
>> Tanorria (06:09):
And so, uh, I needed to hear that today.
>> Candace (06:13):
Hey, I'm glad to encourage my sister.
>> Tanorria (06:15):
Yeah. You know, I need to hear about pivots every
day.
>> Candace (06:18):
Yes. Listen, but, you know, I feel like once
we said, hey, you know, this is where we want to go, this is what
we want to do, because one thing we want you all to understand
is that we love black girls eating.
We love black girls eating. We love the
opportunities that it has given us, and we don't want to give up
on it. Right. So, like, we are committed to this work.
(06:39):
We're committed to helping share amazing
content and getting you connected with amazing
people and creatives. So we're going
to figure out the best way that works for us to be able to do that. And
so we're going to keep it up. Uh, we're going to keep it up,
you know. You know, so us pivoting, you know, it just
means that we still want to be in this fight and in this work with
(07:00):
you because we believe that this platform is super
important.
>> Tanorria (07:03):
And hopefully you all felt like our little pivot was
seamless. Like, hopefully you didn't even notice.
But, yeah. Uh, so going to be transparent here
and talk about how we do this work, because hopefully
it inspires somebody else to do this work, too,
so.
>> Candace (07:18):
Absolutely. Absolutely. Because we're not saying that it's
easy by any means.
>> Tanorria (07:22):
Not at all.
>> Candace (07:23):
Not at all. But we are saying that we're committed to this
work. So when you listen, when you share, when you
become a member of our Patreon, like, you guys,
really, that really helps us, uh, keep our show
running. I don't think people realize that, like,
just having a podcast,
how much work goes into
having the podcast, It's.
>> Tanorria (07:44):
It's work. I mean, not
even publishing an episode. Just
ideating.
>> Candace (07:51):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (07:52):
Reaching out to guests.
>> Candace (07:54):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (07:54):
Scheduling guests, thinking of guests
we need from guests.
>> Candace (07:59):
And like, we. The thing is, like, Tenori and
I, so Black Girls Eating is in its fourth
year of its alliteration.
Right. And snoring. I have had a list
of guests, um, that we have been working
on since before our show hit the airwaves.
>> Tanorria (08:15):
Yep.
>> Candace (08:15):
And so, you know, we. Every time that, you know, we
have our planning time together, which is typically at the end of the year, we talk
about where we're going to go for the next year. We really think
about what do we want to share, who do we want
to highlight, who can we uplift, who can we,
you know, point a light to, and y'all
uh, that really does take time and effort.
(08:37):
And we also don't want to be like, you
know,
um, what's the phrase? Like, person
of the moment. Like, we don't want to be that, you know,
trendy. We don't want to be that trendy.
>> Tanorria (08:50):
And some substance.
>> Candace (08:51):
Exactly.
>> Tanorria (08:52):
To our guests. And I. I feel like
people should know that by now, because
we don't just have people that deal with
food.
>> Candace (09:01):
Right.
>> Tanorria (09:01):
We talk about lots of things. Not to say that people
who deal with food don't have depth and substance. It's just
that we have expanded in addition
to that to make the podcast
rich, to make. Give you things to think
about, to challenge you. I tell you
what, my DEI clients, I
handpick episodes for them to listen to all the time. And it's not
(09:23):
because you and I are on it. It's because there's a
guest that says something that they need to hear.
>> Candace (09:28):
Absolutely. I. We use it. Not only do we
use it in our everyday work and lives, but, you
guys, Black Girls Eating is being used in college
curriculum. That's, you know, that tells you
that we are committed to this work and that we want
people to understand that this platform is
not just us getting behind some mics, talking, whatever we're
talking. We really are, you know, about
(09:50):
sharing what's good and what's needed for the world.
>> Tanorria (09:53):
So that's also an implication that we would love to be picked up by a
network. Call us, y'all. Yeah.
>> Candace (09:58):
Like, if you know somebody that knows.
>> Tanorria (10:00):
Somebody, send them our.
>> Candace (10:02):
Send them our way. Send an email connection, send a
text, send a carrier pigeon. Like, we really.
>> Tanorria (10:10):
But also ways that. That
can help us grow and build our platform.
Candice mentioned our Patreon. That one is a big deal
to us. It helps sustain the podcast,
but free things you could do. Share our stuff on social
media. It takes. It's free. Leave a
review on, um,
Spotify, on our website, on
(10:33):
Apple Podcast. Um,
on, I think Prime. Amazon prime
has podcasts. Google leave
reviews on those places and,
um, subscribe. And like. Like, the
more people that listen, the more people that download,
the more people that listen past one minute.
>> Candace (10:51):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (10:52):
Makes a difference.
>> Candace (10:53):
Yes. And the more people that engage, like, in actually
engaging with us, like, that really does help us. You all.
>> Tanorria (10:58):
Yeah. Like, I think we are real
close to having 2500 followers on black
Girls Eating. Or did.
>> Candace (11:05):
I think so, too. Uh, we may
have in the last couple of days.
>> Tanorria (11:11):
No, 64.
>> Candace (11:13):
Okay.
>> Tanorria (11:14):
Subscribers away. Or likes followers. Sorry,
Followers away. So that makes a
difference. Um, the subscribers
on the different streaming platforms. So, yeah, just
do the free stuff is easy, it's quick,
and it can make a big difference.
>> Candace (11:31):
Yeah, it really can. It makes a big
difference to where, you know, where we can go and
who can, you know, experience black rose eating. So
please do all of those things.
>> Tanorria (11:42):
So, um, it is October.
>> Candace (11:45):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (11:45):
Um, we are recording this episode a little
bit before it is
published. Um, it's published at the end of
October, exactly one week before
election Day. M. How you feeling?
What are you thinking?
>> Candace (12:02):
You know, I'm seeing a lot of yard signs pop up.
>> Tanorria (12:07):
Yes, me too.
>> Candace (12:09):
A lot of yard signs pop up. And,
um, I don't know, like,
days like today. Um, I'm really
hopeful, and I'm feeling like, okay,
this may be okay.
Um, but then you turn on. I was watching
something on tv, and of course, all
(12:30):
the commercials, that's all they are right
now. And I was just like, I don't
know, because here we are. Some of the
commercials are just so
bad.
>> Tanorria (12:42):
Dark.
>> Candace (12:43):
They're just dark. And they're just like. And the sad
thing is, like, those of us who know what's
true, I can't believe somebody would
actually believe this, but you know that they are.
>> Tanorria (12:54):
Yeah. Yeah.
That. That is heartbreaking,
honestly. Um, it's
heartbreaking that someone believes it, and
then it's also heartbreaking that that is what is
fueling their. Their voting decision. Yeah.
Yeah.
>> Candace (13:12):
And it's hard to, like, explain to people that
it's not just a one policy
issue. It's so many things.
Right. And it's not just for your
household.
>> Tanorria (13:24):
Right.
>> Candace (13:24):
Not just for your block. It's not just for your
community. The president of the United States
is not just the president of one group of
people.
>> Tanorria (13:33):
Right.
>> Candace (13:33):
It's the president for the United States.
Like, I just. I feel like I have
to reiterate that because some people just
seem to think that the president is only the president for one group, and it's
just like, no, that's not how this works at all.
>> Tanorria (13:48):
No, it's a democracy,
so. Yeah.
>> Candace (13:52):
Um, and I'm sure people are probably like, they're just going to keep on talking about this
election, and. Yeah, we are, because
it's. It's a big deal. It's
a big deal. And we don't have the luxury of not talking
about it and not being physically engaged.
>> Tanorria (14:07):
Right, Right. It
is our obligation. It is our civic duty.
It is a requirement for the
betterment of our world
and our country. Um, and
I vote not only for me, but I
vote for Maddie. Right. I vote for Emmy and
(14:28):
Ellis.
>> Candace (14:28):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (14:29):
So, like, come on, people.
Yeah.
>> Candace (14:33):
So it's. It's. Yeah. And. And
honestly, thank you all for listening to the.
To this series. Um, when we kind of planned this
out, we wanted to make sure we hit several
different issues. Um, and, uh,
I think we did that. And thank you for giving us feedback, because from
what we learned is that you guys appreciated the
information.
>> Tanorria (14:54):
Yeah. It's been received really well.
So I wouldn't say that we were
nervous or worried by any means. We were very
convicted that we were doing this.
Um, but it is a little bit
different from some of the episodes
we had in the past. So, uh,
(15:14):
we were ready for any backlash. We were
prepared. But I've been
pleasantly surprised with how well it's been
received. Right.
>> Candace (15:23):
The same. And of course, there's always going to be one or two people
that, you know.
>> Tanorria (15:27):
Yeah. Stuff.
>> Candace (15:28):
And, like, of, uh, course, like, when we go back and check our stars and stuff
on Apple, you know, you get. You can always tell, you
know. But again, like, I would much rather
share this information and get it to the people that
need to hear it than not share it, because the people don't
want to hear it. Like, I just. Yeah. I feel
way more convicted about that.
>> Tanorria (15:47):
Yeah.
>> Candace (15:48):
Yeah. I think I'm going to early vote.
>> Tanorria (15:51):
Same. I actually wanted to vote this
weekend, um, before we head out of town,
but there's nowhere that's in my
county that's open yet.
Yeah. So we're gonna go, um,
the Saturday before election day
and get it done. And there's never a line.
(16:12):
Usually we walk in and they're waiting for us.
>> Candace (16:15):
Yeah, same. That's always been my experience. Maddie, uh,
asked me the other day, and I picked her up from school. She's like, are we going to vote
again together? And I was like, yes. She was like, okay.
She's like, because I want to go with you. I was like, well, you've gone with me
every year since you were. Since you were a little baby.
I'm like, so. Of course. It's our thing. It's what we do. She's like, okay. She's
like, I'm gonna go before school so that I can wear my sticker
(16:35):
all day. I was like, that's fine. And
so. Yeah. Like, she's all about it. And, like, she is serious.
Because she's like, wait, Joe Biden's not running again?
I'm like, no. She's like, okay, good. She's like, it's just gonna. I was
like, yeah, so she was like, worried.
>> Tanorria (16:50):
She's like.
>> Candace (16:50):
Because he's kind of old. Mom.
>> Tanorria (16:52):
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I love
it.
>> Candace (16:55):
So funny. But I've been. I just been. You
know, and even like when I go like to the store or something, I'm like, hey, I
registered to vote. Like I mention it like, everywhere because I
just want people to be engaged. And like, I get
it. A lot of our generation is very,
um. I don't want to say
disengaged, but we're very almost like,
(17:15):
eh. Like we don't.
>> Tanorria (17:18):
Yeah.
>> Candace (17:19):
Like we're torn.
>> Tanorria (17:21):
There's still the vibe that there was the last
election of people saying the lesser of
two evils.
>> Candace (17:27):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Tanorria (17:28):
That's how they're making their decision.
>> Candace (17:30):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (17:31):
I don't know that I agree with that anymore.
>> Candace (17:34):
I definitely don't. I never have.
But I mean, you know.
>> Tanorria (17:38):
Yeah. It's like, do, uh,
you want to go back hundreds
of years or want to move even
just an inch forward? That that's what it. What
it, you know, matter mounts up for me.
>> Candace (17:53):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (17:53):
Um. But yeah, I'm. I'm
excited about
the election. I just.
Oh, yeah.
>> Candace (18:05):
I'm just.
>> Tanorria (18:05):
Yeah, I'm hopeful. But I'm also just a smidge
nervous.
>> Candace (18:09):
Same. Same.
>> Tanorria (18:10):
Because it is going to be such a, ah,
close race. Like.
Yeah. And.
>> Candace (18:17):
And. And that, I think gives me anxiety
too, the fact that it's going to be such a close.
Because it's like. Because then in my mind I'm like, it's not even
close. But hey, I mean, you know, people have, you
know, different feelings and beliefs. So we'll see.
>> Tanorria (18:31):
Yeah, we'll see.
Oh, uh, well, with the cold
weather and the fall
and our political climate. What
are you doing right now to take care of yourself and
with your crazy busy schedule, Girl, I
still haven't seen you since your birthday.
>> Candace (18:51):
I know, I know. It's pretty. Pretty
tragic. Um, you
know, I am
making it a point to continue
reading for pleasure.
>> Tanorria (19:06):
Yeah.
>> Candace (19:06):
In addition to my school stuff, because
it's the one thing that I think I
don't have to have any expectation beyond.
And I can just read, you know, something.
>> Tanorria (19:18):
Whatever.
>> Candace (19:18):
Whatever. And it be. It be fine. And
I don't, um, have to write anything about it. I
don't have to exegete it. Like I can just enjoy it.
Um, so that's kind of been,
um, where. Where I am with that.
And just, um. Maddie has
started a new business. Oh,
yes. She, um, has something called
(19:41):
the Accessor Accessorizables or something
like that. I Can't think of the name, but she's working through the concept.
And she made custom jewelry, custom bracelets.
Yeah. Glass beads. And so, like, really kind of
like helping her with that. And so, um,
it's been a lot of fun, like, seeing her do that. So
she's been letting me make bracelets with her. So that's been fun. And so, you
(20:01):
know, I still like anything I can be creative with. Like, with my
hands is always fun. So just,
um, that and just, you know, it's cold.
Um, you know, it's October, so I'm about to put my trees
up.
>> Tanorria (20:13):
Yeah.
>> Candace (20:14):
Um, so looking forward to that. Like, when you texted me the
other day, I was like, so? And I was like, yes. The
answer is yes. Like, you didn't even have to say it.
Like, m. Yes, I guess I will come to your treat for you.
Um, and I love the fact that you put the discount to the
disclaimer. Hey, I don't put my trees up until this
date. I'm thinking in my head, I don't care about that. Whatever you want to do
(20:34):
it, it's fine.
>> Tanorria (20:37):
Oh, God. I waited until, um,
the weekend after Thanksgiving last year, and
I was a little bummed by that. Like,
I definitely was like, okay, I'm going to do it sooner this
year because we hosted Thanksgiving, and
my trees were so pretty that I was like, I wanted
this next to my Thanksgiving table. Like, it was
(20:58):
so pretty. So, yes,
definitely after our anniversary on
October 31, but before Thanksgiving
this year for sure. Yeah.
>> Candace (21:09):
I'm excited. What about you? What? How are you keeping
yourself grounded and how are
you loving back on yourself?
>> Tanorria (21:17):
Yeah. I, um,
have told you this. I'm still in this season of I don't know what I'm
doing with my life, and I don't care. And I don't wanna say I don't care
in a bad way. It's just that I don't feel shame and
guilt about that.
>> Candace (21:30):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (21:30):
Past I would have been beating myself up about it, and I
don't feel that, but I feel like I'm starting to
come out of that. And so I am just
staying aware and curious.
And I think that is a good
headspace to be in.
>> Candace (21:47):
That's good.
>> Tanorria (21:49):
I am reading or listening to a lot
of audiobooks. I just finished,
um, Ketanji Brown Jackson's
book.
>> Candace (21:59):
It's on my list.
>> Tanorria (22:01):
She's a great storyteller.
>> Candace (22:03):
Really.
>> Tanorria (22:04):
The book was good. I really enjoyed it.
Um, and so, yeah, I'm doing that.
And then I am on this very
Interesting sourdough journey where I've
got the starter down, I've got the process down, but my bread
is not baking right because I'm really. It's the
bulk fermentation part is where I'm getting stuck.
And so I'm having fun with it. Like, it's
(22:26):
frustrating me to know get out, because I even did a
cinnamon sugar one. And the swirls in that bread were
stunning, but the texture of the bread was not
fabulous. And so I'm just having fun with
that. Closing out the garden, planting
garlic, because you plant that, um, before
frost. And so I'm doing stuff
like that, um,
(22:48):
and also just enjoying my home.
>> Candace (22:52):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (22:53):
Yeah. Work is picking up,
and I'm figuring out what I'm saying
yes and no to and doing it freely, without
shame or without guilt. And that feels great. Uh,
so, yeah. And taking care of my
body. I'm moving my body more, paying
attention to what I put in my body. I mean,
(23:13):
don't get me wrong, I was real curious about the chicken Big Mac, just
because I was curious. But also I'm
prioritizing protein and fiber and things like that.
So that is what I'm doing. And I feel like that
is occupying enough of my time where it doesn't feel like
I'm trying to escape, but really,
it's. It's making me be present and
intentional. Yeah, yeah,
(23:35):
yeah, yeah. I.
I'm in a, uh. I tell my therapist all the time. I
am in such a great
space with all of my life
except for my career.
And it's not a bad space with my career.
It's just a slow space
with my career. But it's also like, God is like,
(23:57):
girl, have you noticed the last few years
before, like, when did you sit down?
You didn't, right?
I'm just taking this slow time and trying to
appreciate it.
Uh, hey, friends,
it's Tanoria. My first ever
cookbook. Staples Plus 5 is available wherever
(24:18):
cookbooks are sold. It was voted one of the best cookbooks
in 2020 by glamour magazine.com you
can purchase it at tenoriastable.com
books and make sure to tell me what your favorite recipe
is.
>> Candace (24:30):
Hey, y'all. It's Candace the spice slinger. Here
is your food. Bland, unseasoned.
Let's spice it up with seasonings from Food Love Tog.
Catch me
online@foodlovetog.com
Be seasoned, y'all. Well, I love that you
are number one. Feeding yourself
good things, that always makes me happy. Um,
(24:51):
because I feel like a lot of times those of us who
do food work. We don't feed ourselves good things all the time.
>> Tanorria (24:57):
Absolutely. Yep.
>> Candace (24:58):
Um, so that's one of the things I'm really glad to hear. And
I'm just glad that you are in a space to be
open to whatever happens and to be okay
with it.
>> Tanorria (25:08):
Uh. Hm. Yep. Yep.
>> Candace (25:11):
And I think that's a luxury that not everyone has.
>> Tanorria (25:14):
No. And I can honestly say that if it weren't
for my therapist and my life coach,
there's no way I'd have that mindset. I would
be a uncontrollable
hot mess right now if I didn't
have the last four years of therapy
and coaching. Yeah. So I am,
um, super grateful for that.
>> Candace (25:36):
Yeah. I'm glad you went to that up here because I think, again, it's one of those
things that, like, um, we
don't always give credence to.
>> Tanorria (25:44):
Yeah.
>> Candace (25:44):
Having those additional outside tools.
Um. Because you can build yourself from the inside out all you want,
but you still need those outside tools to just kind of help you
keep the toolbox steady.
>> Tanorria (25:55):
Yes, exactly. It's about the
toolbox.
I think I've even heard you say this, but it's
like we spend so much time waiting for the other shoe to
drop, but now we're in a space where
either we're not consumed with
waiting for the other shoe to drop or we
know the shoe is dropping. We just have the tools to deal with it.
>> Candace (26:17):
Exactly.
>> Tanorria (26:18):
Exactly.
>> Candace (26:19):
Like, I mean, like, you know, October is such
a hard month for me. It is hard. Like, I've gone through
a lot in the month of October and I
just. Even with all the
tools that I have, like, I still come to this month and I'm just
like, okay, what
can I do to safeguard
(26:40):
and. And to prepare myself? And part
of it is I literally read something this morning
and my devotion was just like, you have to be willing
to sit with the uneasiness and the uncomfort.
>> Tanorria (26:51):
Yeah.
>> Candace (26:52):
And I think a lot of times we push past that.
>> Tanorria (26:55):
Right.
>> Candace (26:55):
Or because it's not. We ignore it because
it's not fun. But in the end, we're so much better
for sitting with it. And I mean, that's
why, like, I'm so big about naming the thing
and like, sharing it and like, not caring, like,
how it makes other people feel.
>> Tanorria (27:11):
Yeah. Yeah.
>> Candace (27:12):
And I think, I think that's
something that we need that we as, uh, black women
have to do more often because we. Because
the world sees us as, ah, these super women. We always have a cape
on. We always it's always fine. It's always fine. But
no, like, we're in a space where we can say, you know
what? Today is not a good day. Like, even,
(27:33):
like, you know, like. And of course, like, we're such good friends that, like,
we see each other and we immediately know, like, you
know, what's wrong. Like, you can look at me and say, hey, how are
you? And I. And I. And I didn't even.
I. I started to say, I'm fine,
but I'm talking to my girl. She's going to know,
why lie? Like, you know, why just say, you know, today's a hard
day. And, like. And that's okay. And I think. I think the
(27:55):
more and more, like, we do that, the more and more it
gives other people space to be.
>> Tanorria (28:00):
Able to do that.
>> Candace (28:00):
Because every time that I share and write about grief
or write about just feeling your feelings, someone always comes back and
says, thank you so much for doing that. Uh,
thank you for being transparent and thank you for being authentic about it. And I
think it just. It's one of. It's that there's a beauty in it. It doesn't
have to be pretty, but it's so beautiful.
>> Tanorria (28:17):
Yeah. No, you're. You're right.
You're right. I. I love that we
have created a space for each other and for
others to be
truthful about what they're feeling and what they're
thinking and what's going on.
I'm fine. Or everything's okay.
(28:37):
Or just putting a smile because, yeah,
it's not healthy to sweep that stuff under the rug.
>> Candace (28:43):
It's not. It's not. I mean, we're holding so much,
and I think if we all look at it from
the idea that everybody is carrying something that we don't
know about.
>> Tanorria (28:53):
Yep.
>> Candace (28:53):
We'd be a lot more gentle with each other.
>> Tanorria (28:56):
Yep. You're absolutely right. Yeah.
>> Candace (28:59):
I mean, like, I wrote that in my book. Like, if we
realize that some days some people just sit in the
corporate parking lot and cry because they can't go into the
store. Like, we would be much better
for each other if we just held space. Like, I had to
go to the store today, and I'm, um, picking up
something, and I get to the. To the cashier, and
(29:19):
I am bawling.
Bawling. And she's just like, sweetie, you okay? I'm like, no.
She's like, okay. And, like, it was just, like, the
sweetest moment. Like, I was honest with, like, I didn't know that woman
from Adam, but the fact that you know, we can hold space
for people like that. I think we have to be willing to do that because
we're all going through so much.
>> Tanorria (29:40):
Yeah. You know, speaking of books,
when are we publishing? Boo.
>> Candace (29:45):
I don't have a date yet. Okay. I'm
in the throes of COVID edits.
>> Tanorria (29:51):
Yeah.
>> Candace (29:54):
I'm, um, hoping by the end of the year, but we'll see.
>> Tanorria (29:57):
You know what, though? At least you can have an opinion on your
cover edits, because I was just talking to an
author who just recently published, and they were not happy
with their cover, and they were pretty much told. Oh,
well.
>> Candace (30:10):
Uh. Really?
>> Tanorria (30:11):
Yeah, yeah. Like, I feel like,
like, a minor tweak was made, but it
wasn't the big change that they were looking
for.
>> Candace (30:20):
So they just had to be okay with
this cover that they didn't like.
>> Tanorria (30:24):
Yeah, I had
a battle with my cover, and the crazy thing
about it was it took
someone completely outside of my
entire publishing team to
find what was wrong and, like,
give me a fix that I liked.
So I just kept saying, I don't
(30:47):
like it, and I can't put my finger on what I don't like, but it
does. It's not right. And I took it
to a friend of mine who, yes, she knew I was writing
a book, but she had nothing to do with any of
the writing process, nothing to do with the,
uh, creativity or the layout of the book.
And I sent the COVID to her, and I was like,
(31:07):
help me communicate to them what I don't like. Because
she's a graphic designer. I was like, help me
communicate to them what I don't like. I can't put it into
words. She changed one
thing. A plus sign. The plus
sign in Staples plus five. That's all she
changed. And I was like, that's it. Fix
it. So
(31:31):
you are not,
um, alone in this
journey of COVID art and design that you're
in. For some reason, that trips a lot of people
up. Because it's the first impression of your
baby.
>> Candace (31:45):
Exactly.
>> Tanorria (31:46):
And you have to live with it forever. And you want to
look at it and feel proud and excited
and feel like it's you. It's expressing
you. And so when it doesn't look right
or feel right. Yeah. You're not alone
in that.
>> Candace (32:00):
Yeah. And it also made me very confident of how sometimes
you'll get a book and it'll get a cover redesign. And I
was like, I see that. Yeah, I see how that
happens. Yeah, I see how that happened. So we'll
see. We'll see. Um, I've. I uh,
recently picked ah, up.
I picked up um,
(32:22):
another book about grief and
I ah. Yeah, I just, yeah,
I'm here for it. Like, I feel like the last couple
of years that's been a big topic for
people and so I think people are going to be able
to like, resonate with that. So we'll see.
Good.
>> Tanorria (32:46):
How's Maddie doing?
>> Candace (32:47):
Oh My God, she's 10.
>> Tanorria (32:49):
And I just
been 10 for a minute. She
has six months of Tennessee.
>> Candace (32:57):
I know. And she's already talking about turning 11. She wants
to, she wants to color her hair, she wants her
nails done. Like her. She's like, mom, not the kind I
do, but you know, like where you go. She wants a
dad and she's just, she's upset that she's not going to see
Taylor Swift because she'll be here in a couple of weeks. And I was like, oh, I didn't.
>> Tanorria (33:14):
Know she was a Tay Tay fan.
>> Candace (33:16):
Oh, yes, she is a Taylor. Oh,
are you kidding me? She is totally screwed up my Spotify
because
all of her listening to Taylor Swift has
made it into my top of the year. And so.
>> Tanorria (33:30):
Yeah, that is excellent.
>> Candace (33:32):
Yeah. Cruel Summer was like number three last year. I was like,
absolutely not. Like, no. But
she's just, she's so fun and she. 10
is a fun age. We're having a
hard time because, like, kids these days are
mean and so she doesn't understand, like how kids are
just mean for no reason.
>> Tanorria (33:51):
Yeah.
>> Candace (33:52):
And so she's. She gets her feelings hurt a lot at school, so we kind of
work through that. And like she doesn't, you know, she
doesn't get that like kids are just like, mean because she's not a
mean kid and so she doesn't understand it. And so,
um. But then like, she's getting her chops and so sometimes she'll be
mean back and I'm like, hey, like,
we don't have to be mean just because someone else is mean. Like, let's
(34:13):
not, let's not do that. So like teaching her how to
not be a mean girl and how to be kind. But she's
funny. She's just funny. Um, I just,
I wish I was as cool as her attend.
>> Tanorria (34:24):
Right? Yeah.
>> Candace (34:26):
Yeah. Like, listen, you
posted Ellis for his birthday.
I saved that reel because it is so funny
to me.
>> Tanorria (34:38):
Titi boop, Mommy boop, Emmy
boop.
>> Candace (34:42):
Like nobody but him like that sent me. I was like, that
is so mean. When somebody asked me like, are you going to Target?
No, no. Like it's so I Just
love it. I love it.
>> Tanorria (34:52):
Such a, such a little boy in that he wants to
talk about poop and he loves bugs. Like
how am I? Uh, a TT that bought
him a bug. Bug finding kit for his.
>> Candace (35:04):
Did you really?
>> Tanorria (35:05):
It's like a little thing that like sucks up the
bug, but it does it humanely. The bug doesn't
die. And then he can like look at
it in the little thing and then he has like a little
box that you could put it in to like keep it.
>> Candace (35:22):
I am shook, right?
>> Tanorria (35:24):
I'm like, that toy can stay at your house.
>> Candace (35:26):
Your house. Yeah.
That's the kind of toy to say yes.
Mhm.
>> Tanorria (35:33):
And he did. He. They were. They have a
little. Well, it's not little. It's a big play
dollhouse situation in their backyard
and they were playing in it and he
found himself a bug and his mama sent me a
picture.
>> Candace (35:51):
No, I'm. Yeah, Maddie was, Maddie was
obsessed with insects for a while.
Beetles, um, and butterflies
and. And I was like, hey,
these are outside friends. Yes,
we keep these friends outside. They
live. This is their home. Your home
(36:11):
does not need them.
>> Tanorria (36:13):
Yeah, because I am.
>> Candace (36:15):
No, I'm not that kind of mama.
>> Tanorria (36:17):
No thanks. No thanks. No.
>> Candace (36:20):
But now we're in the throes of looking at middle school then I'm just not
ready.
>> Tanorria (36:24):
Oh gosh.
>> Candace (36:25):
Yeah. I've already applied to two because the
waitlist starts so early. So I just like, I don't want to be
behind. So I applied already and so we'll see.
We'll see.
>> Tanorria (36:35):
Wow. Middle school.
>> Candace (36:38):
M hm.
>> Tanorria (36:38):
That is an awkward age. Do you remember middle school for
you? I hated it.
>> Candace (36:46):
I despise
middle school.
>> Tanorria (36:50):
Yeah.
>> Candace (36:52):
It was such a hard time.
>> Tanorria (36:54):
Yeah.
>> Candace (36:54):
Because you're. You go through so many emotional and physical
changes in a, ah, such a short period of time.
>> Tanorria (37:01):
Yeah.
>> Candace (37:01):
And it just, it's overwhelming.
>> Tanorria (37:04):
It is.
>> Candace (37:06):
It's overwhelming. Like I,
I would not recommend zero attitude.
>> Tanorria (37:11):
I was awkward. The people around me were awkward.
The people around me were mean.
>> Candace (37:16):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (37:17):
There's something about being in
a township school or
a predominantly white school as
a little black girl in middle school.
Still even more singled out than
just your day to day being a black girl.
>> Candace (37:34):
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I recall
I had bigger boobs.
>> Tanorria (37:39):
Than everyone else and
my hair didn't do the same things that everyone else's
did.
>> Candace (37:47):
Like the stress of having, like
having P.E. and uh. Oh,
uh, God, yes. Oh,
uh, I do not miss that time.
>> Tanorria (37:58):
Don't want to go back to that at all.
>> Candace (38:00):
I go back to high school before I Go back to middle school, though.
>> Tanorria (38:03):
Oh, I don't want to go. I hated high school, too.
>> Candace (38:06):
Really?
>> Tanorria (38:06):
Yeah. Yeah. I felt
like I didn't have my own identity
for most of it because I was Askew's
sister. Um, and
then I.
I appreciate being in
marching band and being a part of a team,
(38:28):
and a lot of that has shaped me, and
I'm grateful for that. That is the only
thing. And maybe one or two teachers,
I would say. Yeah, a handful of teachers,
um, that I admire from
high school. But other than that, there's nothing about it. I
mean, I did meet my husband in high school.
>> Candace (38:47):
You did? I was gonna say there was a. Yeah.
>> Tanorria (38:50):
But we didn't even go to the same high school, so I could have met
him any other way. But
funny story, my
third and fourth grade teacher just reached
out to me on social media. Mm.
And, I mean, I had
no idea if she was living or dead. Uh, no
(39:10):
clue. And I got this. This
Facebook message or this Facebook comment. And
it was like, there's that beautiful smile, and it was this random white woman.
And I was like, who the hell is this?
And then another comment came through from the same person,
and it was like, hey, this is
your old teacher, Ms. Chapman, now, I think,
(39:30):
Ms. Weeks, or something like that. Um,
just wanted to tell you that I've been following your journey, and I'm so
proud of you. And I, like, started to tear up.
>> Candace (39:40):
Because I was like, wow.
>> Tanorria (39:43):
And she was a teacher that I'll never forget
because I had her in third grade, and then
she kind of got promoted, so I also had her in fourth
grade. In third grade, I think she was a brand new
teacher, and she was engaged
to be married. And so in third
grade, we learned how to spell Wednesday.
Wed. Nest day. We would say wed
(40:06):
and spell it. She would giggle because she was getting married.
And I remember she invited all of us to her wedding,
but we had, like, a family obligation or something. I didn't get
to go. But then I had her in the fourth
grade, and she picked,
like, five students at the end of the
year to go to a, uh, like, little
party at her house. And I was one of the students that
(40:28):
got picked. And it was actually,
I think she had it at her dad's house because she
and her husband were, like, in an apartment at the time. And
I'll never forget, it's a house that is on the
corner of a really prominent street
in Indianapolis. And, like, I
would drive by that house all the time to go to church. And then I got
(40:48):
to Go in that house as a kid,
and I will never forget her. So
that was.
>> Candace (40:54):
I love that.
>> Tanorria (40:56):
That was.
>> Candace (40:56):
You just. You just sparked a memory. I went down
a TikTok rabbit hole of teachers, um,
getting married and inviting their classes.
>> Tanorria (41:04):
Oh, it's so cute.
>> Candace (41:07):
The cutest thing.
>> Tanorria (41:08):
Like, you.
>> Candace (41:09):
I love it, like, when the kindergartners, like, so,
like, one teacher had, like, a group of kindergarteners, and
so, like, she was teaching them about etiquette
and, like, table manners and, like, uh, how,
like, they all got to get dressed up and how it was, like, such
a big deal. And, like, she was like, for some of them, like, this is
the first time they go to something like this. And so, like, they didn't
(41:30):
know until, like, several of them, like, brought
presents of their own. Like, it was just.
I was like, cry me a river,
because I just was. It was so cute. It was
super cute. I love that.
>> Tanorria (41:43):
Speaking of, um, little kids in etiquette.
Okay, I know we're not supposed to talk about the Cosby show, but I will talk
about the Cosby Show. I will just not talk about Bill Cosby. Okay,
okay.
>> Candace (41:52):
Fair. Fair.
>> Tanorria (41:54):
And there was the episode where Rudy
and some of her friends got to go to a fancy dinner.
Do you remember that?
>> Candace (42:01):
Yes, yes.
>> Tanorria (42:02):
And Bud was like, what are crowns?
And they were croutons. And they had all the forks. They're like, what
are all these forks for? I loved that
episode. And they ended up finally going to,
like, an improv show and had
burgers because they were like, ew. Oh.
>> Candace (42:18):
Uh, and remember, like, I feel like Peter runs away
like he always does.
>> Tanorria (42:22):
Yes.
>> Candace (42:23):
Yes.
>> Tanorria (42:25):
Oh, that was so great.
>> Candace (42:26):
Peter is, like, the, like, most,
um, underrated, but undefeated character on
the Cosby Show.
>> Tanorria (42:33):
I know no words.
>> Candace (42:35):
No words. Just a look and a
runaway. Like, I love.
>> Tanorria (42:40):
That was so great. Uh, you know
they're doing a, uh, remake of A Different
World, supposedly. Yes, I think so.
>> Candace (42:48):
Listen, you already know I'm on it. Like, do
they need any extras? Do they? Because I've got my human
shirt on right now.
I am, like, so. And everybody has been
singing to me because they know how much I love.
I love m. Listen, people,
y'all have to understand, in the
(43:10):
90s, seeing Hillman on
TV the best. I just
knew I was going to Hillman,
right? What do you mean?
>> Tanorria (43:20):
Like, I was dumbfounded that that wasn't a real college.
>> Candace (43:23):
You could apply to feelings
hurt. Okay? Like, what do you mean? I'm not going
to Hillman, and I'm not going to be in Gilbert Hall, I don't
understand. What do you mean?
What do you mean I'm not going to get my flip down glasses?
What? How do you mean Mr. Gaines is
not going to be making my burger and fry? Like, I
don't understand.
>> Tanorria (43:43):
Oh, I really hope
that they bring back as many
original characters as possible.
>> Candace (43:51):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (43:52):
And, um, I
really hope that, like, I know it's supposed to be
based on what I've read says it's supposed to be
based on, um, Whitley
and Dewayne's daughter.
>> Candace (44:05):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (44:06):
But I hope that there are,
like, Freddie's
kids.
>> Candace (44:12):
Yes. Yes. Or like, Freddie is
like. She is like the dorm
mom. Like, that would just be like.
>> Tanorria (44:20):
Yes, yes. I
really hope that there's all the
sprinklings. And what I love is I
watch A Different World multiple times within a year.
>> Candace (44:31):
Same.
>> Tanorria (44:32):
And every time I watch it, I'm like, man, there were
some messages that are appropriate even
today.
>> Candace (44:38):
I catch something new every single time.
Like the episode where Freddie finds
the link to the underground railroad.
>> Tanorria (44:46):
Yes.
>> Candace (44:47):
You talk about bawling my eyes
out. Or, um, the
apartheid episode. Yes.
>> Tanorria (44:55):
The episode where they
go back to a dream and they're like Ross Perot.
>> Candace (45:01):
Yes. Yes.
>> Tanorria (45:03):
Like Jennifer Lewis in that episode.
>> Candace (45:06):
What they were doing in that series
was so ahead of their time. Like,
I appreciate. I appreciate it so much. And it
really did shape my college career.
And it still shapes, like, what my activism
and my community work looks like today. It really
does. Like, we don't give that show enough credit. That and
(45:26):
Living Single.
>> Tanorria (45:28):
Yeah. Oh, gosh, that's my bedtime show. I go to sleep to Living
Single.
>> Candace (45:31):
Listen, Kyle
Barker is probably my
favorite character on tv.
He's just so. He's such a talented actor
anyway. But, uh, like, between him and, I mean, Maxine,
the maverick, like, all day, the best.
>> Tanorria (45:47):
Erica. I love following her on social media
now.
>> Candace (45:50):
She's so great. If anybody that knows her,
send her this episode so we can get her on Black Girls Eating, that would
just be.
>> Tanorria (45:58):
We would love to give you your flowers on Black Girls
Eating.
>> Candace (46:01):
Yes. You shaped our lives so much,
Erica. Like, yeah. If you're listening to this, we love
you too.
>> Tanorria (46:08):
We do. I loved seeing her in, um.
Oh, gosh, I can't even think of the name of the movie, but it had
Tracee Ellis Ross in it as well and
Issa Rae in it.
>> Candace (46:21):
Oh, what was she in? Oh,
recently.
>> Tanorria (46:25):
Yeah.
>> Candace (46:26):
Uh, I can't think of it, the.
>> Tanorria (46:28):
Name of it, but I loved seeing her
play such a different role compared to
Scene.
>> Candace (46:34):
Yeah.
>> Tanorria (46:34):
She was in Another show as well, for, like, a
hot second.
>> Candace (46:38):
And I was like, I'll have to check it out. It
was a series.
>> Tanorria (46:42):
Yeah. Anyway, I can't remember it,
but, yeah.
>> Candace (46:46):
Those were the good old days. The good old days. I mean, I mean,
that's good TV now, but, like, I still go back to those comfort
shows because the, the writing was so good and
it looked like me.
>> Tanorria (46:56):
Yeah.
>> Candace (46:57):
Like, I. I saw myself. Like, I just
knew I was going to be Khadijah James
100.
>> Tanorria (47:03):
I knew.
>> Candace (47:04):
I just knew. I'm a writer. I'm gonna write. I'm gonna have
a magazine. Like, I mean, I just knew that I was gonna be Khadija.
And so it. Just to see myself on
screen, even as a little girl, like, now it's
still just. I see it. Come on. I'm just a. Look at Queen Latifah. Like,
she can do no longer my book. She can do no wrong.
>> Tanorria (47:21):
I know. I love the trajectory of her career.
>> Candace (47:24):
Me too.
>> Tanorria (47:24):
Love. Oh, yeah. She is so
talented. Yeah.
>> Candace (47:29):
That's good stuff. Uh, I'm going to have to watch that later.
>> Tanorria (47:33):
Yeah.
>> Candace (47:34):
Good stuff.
>> Tanorria (47:36):
Well, friends, we are. We have a few
more episodes left for this season. You'll hear
from Candace and, and I again before the season's over.
And then, you know, we take a little break. So
expect us to take a break in December
and probably January, but,
um. Go vote. Go
out, vote. Go out and vote. Go out
(47:59):
and vote. Look at your schedules. Now,
these episode drops, you have exactly a week left
to figure out if early voting is right for
you, if going to the polls the day of the election
is right for you. Um, we've been posting
some resources on what you need in
order to be prepared to vote. Please have your
ID ready or driver's license
(48:21):
ready. Take your voter registration card with
you if you have it, especially if you are
a person of color or you are in a
new county that you've never voted before, you've never been
registered in before. Take that stuff
with you. Be prepared. Take some
snacks and some bottled water if you
(48:42):
have mobility issues. Take a folding
chair with you if you have. If you think you're going to
be standing in a long line, if you think you're going to be
standing outside, bundle up. Get,
um, some hand warmers. Whatever it
takes. Be prepared to do your civic
duty, because literally every
(49:03):
single vote will count. Our past
guest, um, Kelly Doucet,
said that some people in
different local elections lost elections by
tens of votes.
>> Candace (49:15):
One vote, like I saw. Yeah. I mean,
really. And, and if you, let's say you already have voted,
take offer to take someone to vote. Like,
don't let you know, access be a
barrier. Take someone with you.
Yeah. And you need a ride, call me because I'll take you
too. So there's that. Uh, call people
now.
>> Tanorria (49:38):
Figure, um, out if you know, you need to get an Uber.
If you can't afford it, start talking about
affording it now. Figure out the public
transportation schedule. Now. Just be
prepared, um, because we don't want
any reason whatsoever for you to give up.
And we can say that black and brown people, we
know that, um, when it
(50:00):
comes to voting equities
or voting inequities, they will
come up with a myriad of reasons for you to give
up.
>> Candace (50:10):
Absolutely.
>> Tanorria (50:10):
We're just asking you, please, please, please don't
stay in line. Don't give up.
>> Candace (50:15):
Don't give up. Don't give up. All right, friends.
Well, we will, um, check you guys out next
time. Thank you for listening to Black Girls Eating and thank
you to our lovely friends at
Christchurch Cathedral for supporting our episode and
making it available to listeners like you. Thank you. We love you. We'll
talk to you later.
>> Tanorria (50:33):
Bye bye.
>> Candace (50:34):
Black Girls Eating the podcast is
sound engineered and Produced by David McKissick.
It's recorded at Nexus Impact
Center Creative Suite.
Follow Black Girls Eating the podcast on Instagram
@BlackGirlSeating. Follow Tenoria
@Tenoria's Table. Follow
Candice @FoodLoveTog. Thank you for listening.
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