A Bad Dream Come True

Have you ever wondered what would happen if all of your worst nightmares came true? Wonder no longer, for the listener-submitted tale read aloud in this episode answers that question--and more! One more. It answers exactly one more question.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
["Mirim Starts to Shouran Be Be

(00:04):
miles away by the moon is clear
Hello, and welcome to Black Magic Treehouse.

(00:38):
The podcast where we make you relive all the best bad dreams of your middle school
years.
My name is Jose and up here in the hatch with me is my good friend, Eric.
Say hi.
Hi, I'm Eric.
We're in the hatch together.
We're in the hatch.
Yeah.

(00:59):
Treehouses are hatches or they have hatches.
I feel that they're interchangeable.
If you don't, you can open up the hatch and get out.
Do you like a sub?
Do you mean like the trap door that used to get in and out of it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, never heard that call that like on a submarine you would I guess.

(01:20):
Tell me explain to me how a treehouse and a submarine are not literally the same thing.
You've got me there.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
So we have a very special treat for today's episode.
If you've been following us for any amount of time, you might have already had the pleasure,

(01:43):
dubious pleasure of coming across an episode we did a little while back called Evil Mirror.
And that story that we covered in that episode was one written by yours truly at the very
tender age of fifth grade.
That was a story I wrote completely consciously in the mold of my all time hero, at least

(02:11):
at the time, Mr. Bob Stein.
It was a Goosebumps knockoff guys.
I wrote a Goosebumps knockoff when I was like 11 years old and we read it and it was both
cringey and hysterical and actually not too bad.
Very specific with some of the numbers as we came to find out.

(02:33):
But after we recorded that episode and posted it, I shared it around a little bit on social
media and I said that if anybody out there in the world has a similar kind of story that
they wrote as a kid that they'd like us to read on the podcast, well shucks, go ahead

(02:54):
and send that our way and we will make your dreams come true.
And I did have a taker to that invitation, Eric.
Did you know that?
Am I supposed to say you didn't tell me this already?
Whoa.
Just no, tell the truth.
While people in your house were having diarrhea or whatever was going on before we started

(03:16):
recording.
Yeah, that was some things happening outside the hatch out there.
The 20,000 leagues under the anyway.
Yeah, no, I got we got a taker to our invitation.
I'm part of a group on Facebook called Goosebumps Ultimate Fan Club.

(03:38):
So I thought to myself after we recorded that episode, well, this would be as apt a place
to talk about this as any.
And I met a gentleman by the name of Dynasty.
Back that up, back that up.
I'm just going to refer to people's first names.
So when you edit this in your little workshop, cut that last part out, please.

(04:05):
It's too bad because it sounded like a pretty classy name.
It is.
And for the purpose for the purpose of just sharing it, I will say his name is Dynasty.
Wow.
Yeah, that I mean, it's an impressive name.
But anyway, I met a gentleman through that group through that post.
His name was Dynasty.

(04:25):
And he said, I wrote a story I wrote one in middle school and made a cover in Microsoft
Paint.
And friends, it is a really glorious cover.
Oh, yes.
It's a glorious cover.
We will definitely be sharing that on our Instagram.
So keep your eyes peeled there.
He said, I think I uploaded it to Deviantart.

(04:45):
It's full, all caps.
It's full of run on sentences and grammatical errors.
Cringe Fest.
We wouldn't have it any other way in the Black Magic Treehouse.
We wouldn't.
That's what that's part of the charm dynasty.
And we're so happy that you were willing to offer your story up to us.

(05:07):
He followed up his comment there first with the cover that he made in Microsoft Paint.
And it is wonderful.
Maybe I can do screen share.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I bet you can.
I bet I can.
Oh, oh, it's a cover that even says Goosebumps.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's actually a really accurate rendering of the Goosebumps font for a paint file.

(05:31):
Truly.
Because yeah, that's all mouse clicks, right?
It's just hand lettered via mouse, right?
Am I remembering how Microsoft Paint worked?
That's how it worked, right?
I assume so, unless there was some kind of copy, paste, and trace over it situation or
something.
Yeah.

(05:52):
I don't know.
But yeah, as Eric said, really beautifully done.
Would you describe what you believe this scene is depicting here on the cover to our story?
Well, there is a bedroom with a circular window that kind of looks like a basketball smoking

(06:15):
a cigarette.
There's a white tube with a red tip sticking out of the window.
And then there's a pretty Rastafarian looking stoner kid in bed, a bed that he barely fits

(06:36):
in.
His head is crushed up against the headboard.
And he's got an expression of his eyes are squeezed shut tight, this little toe headed
round faced child.
And then there's a thought bubble emanating from his mind that seems to be the cause of
what's making him so consternated of a dinosaur with a sideshow bob black wig.

(07:09):
And it looks like it's wearing high heels on all four of its green legs.
I think that's just supposed to be the claw, Eric.
I see.
Well, there is a very clear stiletto coming down the back of it.
Yeah, true enough.
True enough.
It has stiletto claws.
That's the thing.

(07:29):
I mean, look, with a name like dynasty, you draw a classy cover.
So truly, truly.
Every time I look at it, I keep thinking the thought bubble, the dream bubble, whatever
you want to call it is an egg.
And just the way that the claw is poised kind of like shattering through the dream bubble,

(07:49):
countering our reality, presumably, just the framing of it and the color.
It makes me think both of egg monsters from Mars and how to kill a monster, especially
like the encroaching green claw.
So I feel like we may have some influences at work here.

(08:13):
I mean, clearly, just as I did.
And it only occurred to me now.
I have seen this cover already when dynasty originally shared it with me.
But I haven't read the story in full.
But just now, when you were commenting on the cover, it only registered with me like,
oh, that hand is kind of retaliant.

(08:35):
That claws kind of retaliant.
Wouldn't it be funny if like this is this could hypothetically be the same lizard monster
from Evil Mirror?
And it's hijacking the story, man.
That would be pretty crazy.
That'd be pretty crazy dynasty.
We may be brothers from other mothers here, if that's the case.

(08:57):
We're going to find out.
I'm going to freak right the fuck out.
Yeah, truly, truly.
And I do kind of like I don't know if this was like dynasty subconscious at work.
You mentioned Rastafarian as far as the colors of the boys' clothes and or a blanket.

(09:19):
But I thought the coloring was funny in the sense that this the story of dynasties is
called a bad dream come true.
Probably should have led with that before we jumped right in.
I couldn't remember if you had already said that or not.
So I was building up to the title reveal.
Oh, well, we've both failed, clearly.
Before you took over the conversation.

(09:39):
Well, hey, I mean, that's how this works.
But I thought it was funny that the coloring is also kind of reminiscent of Freddy Krueger.
So I don't know if dynasty was actively working with the correct coloring of Freddy Krueger,
because a lot of people think his sweater is red and black, but it's not.
We watched the first movie, everybody.

(10:00):
It's red and green.
Do you know why those colors were picked?
A little bit of a little fun fact for you.
I think Wes Craven said something along the lines of like that he read an article about
how the your eye processes colors and like the two colors that it has the most difficulty
processing together is red and green.

(10:22):
Yes, that is the fun fact.
And that's interesting because it's like that really doesn't have anything to do with dreams
at all.
He's not that I understand it.
So it's like.
That is that is a true fact.
That's a fun fact, but I wonder like what the ultimate purpose behind that was like
is Freddy Krueger supposed to be hard to see or just difficult to look at?

(10:47):
I mean, he kind of already is.
So I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think just anything that he could do to make the viewer feel uncomfortable.
They look at ease.
Yeah.
Ill at ease.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Well, great job dynasty.
Yeah.
And I also appreciate the fact that like the way that the Goosebumps covers always had

(11:09):
like the kind of repeating or maybe complementary color patterns with like the text and then
this the dripping slime that what do you call it like a frame or whatever around the actual
image and that repeats with like the colors within the image.
So it's like a lot of red and green and blue within dynasty's cover for a bad dream come

(11:32):
true all echoing off of each other.
So good graphic design dynasty.
Yeah.
Nicely done all around.
In fact, going back to dynasty's original post on Facebook, he said some pretty neat
things.
All right.
So he said he dynasty went on to explain the story.
I probably wrote it in 2005 or 2006, but uploaded it as as is in 2008 with my atrocious grade

(12:03):
school grammar.
And the only thing I can defend myself for is that back then I had no idea.
Don't go to sleep even existed.
So this was not dynasty reading.
Don't go to sleep and saying, you know what?
I can do better than that and then doing better than that.

(12:26):
This was just, you know, I think I mentioned before, I can't remember if it was on mic
or not, but in talking about goosebumps, I know that as a kid, you know, from the time
that I started reading goosebumps around third grade, even into, you know, my middle school
years, I always lamented that fact that it seemed like R.L.

(12:48):
Stein had just come up with all the ideas already.
He's done everything.
He hasn't left anything original for me to do as a burgeoning writer.
So you know, this was probably dynasty was in probably in a similar situation where it's
like, well, you know what?
I'm just going to do my best anyway.
I'm going to pick something.

(13:10):
The first thing that pops into my head and run with it.
Mine was an evil mirror.
Dynasties was a bad dream.
So I responded to him, you know, asking if we could read the story on the podcast.
And he graciously acquiesced.
And I made mention that, oh, it's clear that you were just as influenced by Stein's patented

(13:33):
style as I was.
And he said, goosebumps is more than my childhood.
It's in my blood.
Admiration for Stein was the driving force for me after every chapter.
And I'd be honored for you to include it in your podcast among like minded people.
The cringe is charming.
And I'm so glad dynasty said that because I absolutely agree.

(13:54):
You know, I put myself out there reading evil mirror on a previous episode, and it's so
wonderful that dynasty is allowing us to read his story from fresh from the goosebumps mold
and and just to enjoy it together here up in the hatch known as the black magic tree
house.

(14:15):
I don't stand by that.
But I do stand by thank you to dynasty.
All right, we stand with dynasty.
At least we can agree with that.
So I read this volume of this.
That's another thing Eric commented on that dynasty was bold enough to brand this with

(14:40):
the goosebumps name.
I was not so bold in my youth.
I just merely actually had somebody else do a facsimile of the goosebumps font for the
title of my story.
But man dynasty he went full hog.
He shot for the stars.
He mimicked that goosebumps font and Microsoft paint beautifully.

(15:03):
And as far as we know, this is an unofficial unreleased goosebumps novel.
And something else that dynasty didn't really, as I said, shooting for the stars, he broke
his up into chapters.
Some of them are maybe about I don't know, 200 to 300 words long.

(15:25):
Others are a paragraph long.
And much the same way that if I was doing chapters as a kid, it's like, all right, well,
I've lost interest in this part of the story.
Chapter two.
Moving on.
Which is not all that dissimilar from the way Earl Stein wrote his books either.

(15:46):
True enough.
I tell you, we us Uber fans, we had Bob Stein's number back in the day.
We could have been one of, we could have been members of his ghost writing team.
If only he had listened to us.
But now you remember wayside stories.
Oh yeah.
Do you remember the chapter about that teacher who didn't exist?

(16:06):
Yeah.
Wasn't there like a recurring joke throughout the book, I feel like?
Possibly.
But I just remember there was one chapter where, yeah, there is a recurring joke, but
I think I haven't read those books in a long time.
I don't remember the structure, but I think the structure of the first book was that like
every chapter had a different teacher as protagonist maybe, or possibly student.

(16:29):
But I remember we were reading that book in second grade or whatever.
And it was like the teacher would read a chapter every day and it was like snack time or whatever.
And then there was a day when that chapter came up and she read that chapter.
Chapter 19, Ms. Zarves.
There is no Ms. Zarves.

(16:50):
There is no 19th story.
Sorry.
We had all just barely gotten the packages off of our peanut butter crackers or whatever.
And she read the chapter and she was like, well, that's it.
And we're like, what?
You got to read another one.
And she was like, oh, no, sorry.
One chapter a day.
Can't break the rules.
Go fuck yourselves.
Yeah.

(17:10):
These are iron-bound by these rules.
And I feel like R.L.
Stein did have chapters and goosebumps that were literally, some of them were just like
less than a page.
Yeah.
Especially in later books.
Like I feel like Shrunkenhead maybe has that situation.
Maybe that's why I didn't like it.

(17:31):
That's a great book.
Top 10.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe we'll have to revisit it and find out for sure.
Okay.
All right.
So here we are.
Goosebumps.
A Bad Dream Come True by Dynasty.
Chapter one.
Sam!

(17:52):
I shouted to my helpless dog over the boiling fire pit.
I didn't know what to do.
Sam was slipping off the edge of the volcano.
I thought I would never see him again until all of a sudden I had the courage to grab
his paw and attempt to pull him up.
We slid down the outer side of the volcano.

(18:13):
I thought we had escaped, but there were tons of lava at the bottom of the volcano.
Sam barked a scared and frightened bark and I screamed for help.
Chapter two.
Oh, wow.
No exposition whatsoever.
Nope.
I guess that this guy has a dog named Sam and they're trapped on a volcano.

(18:35):
What else do you need to know?
Tell me.
I mean, that's true.
I am fully invested in this narrative already.
There's a dog in danger.
I'm not a dog person, so I don't really care that much.
Is it going to be the reveal though, like in I Am Legend where the dog is Sam and then
you find out later that it was a female dog and you're like, oh no, the female dog is

(18:59):
dead.
Wow I totally forgot about that.
I only know it.
I actually never saw that movie.
I only know it through osmosis.
That's a weird twist.
It's like the animal was actually a girl.
Yeah.
It's like, wow.
Okay.

(19:19):
Movie.
Whatever you say.
Chapter two.
Jacob.
Mom shouted out to me from downstairs.
Time to get up for school.
School?
I thought I was sliding down a volcano with Sam.
It must have been another one of my nightmares I've been having recently.

(19:42):
At least mom woke me up before I died this time.
I seem to always die in my dreams right before I wake up.
That's not good.
Isn't the myth that you don't actually ever die in your dreams?
You always like wake up right before the impact of falling or some such.
I think the myth is yeah, if you die in your dreams, you die in your sleep.

(20:05):
Well I guess that's a really hard myth to disprove.
It's like, well, have you ever met anybody who died in their dreams?
Well, no.
See, that's because they died in real life.
It sounds like this character can prove it wrong though.
Yeah.
Die nightly.
Jacob.

(20:26):
I don't know.
This may again be a total fluke, but I feel like the naming of the character being Jacob,
it's like, oh, is that like a little shout out to Tim Jacobus?
Perhaps that'd be cute.
I guess we'll have to, I guess we'll have to ask Dynasty.
All right.
Okay.
This is the next sentence.

(20:46):
Dad made his disgusting eggs for breakfast again.
I always managed to slip most of mine to Sam.
I love that dad has disgusting eggs.
Notably disgusting eggs.
It sounds like something dad would do.
Yeah.
I'm already so curious.

(21:08):
I know we talked about this on the Evil Mirror episode where like the idea of verisimilitude
doesn't occur to you when you're writing at a really young age, so you're just putting
in stuff that you read in other books.
This is the kind of stuff you put into a book.
I'm so curious if this stuff is all like, this seems like something R.L.
Stein would write because it does feel very R.L.

(21:30):
Steinian, or if this is like ripped from the headlines of Dynasty's Own Life.
Yeah, my dad really did have disgusting eggs that I fed to the dog under the table.
Yeah.
I feel like, and again, this is knowing nothing about Dynasty's personal life, but I agree
that this rings very Steinian right now, that you have basically a nuclear family that's

(21:58):
just a little bit quirky.
You know?
All right.
So- But quirky in the most expected sitcom-y kind
of way.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, Sam would eat anything but vegetables.
When the bus came, I was still shaky from the nightmare I had last night.

(22:19):
What's wrong with you?
Don't tell me another nightmare, right?
My best friend Max acts me every day so far.
I hope she stops saying that soon.
It's getting, it's really getting annoying.
Whoa, what a twist.
Max is a girl.
Oh, no.
Just like the dog from I Am Legend.
Sam and Max.

(22:39):
Yep.
Sam and Max.
Isn't that a thing?
Maybe.
Somewhere.
It doesn't matter.
Go on.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
It's Sam and Max somewhere.
So how did you die this time, Jake?
She asked.
For your information, this time I didn't die, but I bet you came close.

(23:01):
Max interrupted.
Wait a minute.
Max interrupted.
Isn't he?
Wait, no.
Who's Max?
Max is the best friend.
Oh, OK.
OK.
There are two best friends here.
Wait a minute.
Oh, OK.

(23:22):
Yeah.
So this is, sorry.
This is maybe some of the grammar stuff that Dynasty mentioned because it said, but I
bet you came close period.
Max interrupted.
So I'm like, wait, who's Max?
They're interrupting?
We're just talking.
OK.
No, that's saying Max interrupted by saying, but I bet you came close.
I mean, I figured it out just listening to it.

(23:44):
Wow.
OK.
You know what?
It's a lot of pressure to read something you haven't read before.
Eric.
Sorry, Dynasty.
We're butchering your story.
Yeah, we're butchering your.
This illiterate.
Yeah.
OK.
I couldn't argue with her there.
All my nightmares were horrible.

(24:05):
Either something scares me enough to wet my bed.
The thing wet your bed or you wet your bed, which is really embarrassing for a boy at
age 13 or something scares me enough to make me twist and turn until I fall out of my bed,
make my way into the hallway and then roll down the stairs and wake up in the wetting

(24:30):
room.
Whoa.
That is some dream.
I just imagine this kid shake.
Oh, man.
This is going to be an evil mirror.

(24:55):
I just pictured them at like the bottom of the stairs with like broken legs and arms
like, oh, another bad dream again.
Darn.
Guess it's another trip to the hospital because at least I didn't wet the bed.
Oh, my God.
All right.

(25:18):
So make my way into the hallway and then roll down the stairs and wake up in the living
room.
Then the bus stopped.
I never noticed that for about nine weeks, the bus stopped at this new destination.
All right.
Let's hear it for the number specificity.
Nine weeks, nine weeks, nine weeks.
The bus stopped at this new destination.

(25:39):
I was always talking with Max.
OK, so this reads, I was always talking with Max to pay any attention.
Climbing aboard the bus was the new kids at school, Thomas and his little sister, Rosie.
I didn't want to be rude, so I officially introduced Max and me.
So are you new to this area?

(25:59):
Because I never really see you around, Max said to Thomas.
Well, my dad sent Rosie and me here to live with our grandparents because our house back
where we live is being rebuilt because it had flooded from the basement up.
So grandpa decided we should go to school while we were here.
We should be going back home in just a few more days.

(26:23):
This is giving me a fright time vibes right here with kids who explain everything all
at once.
Well, while you're here, you can always hang with us, I said nicely.
I remember what it was like for me to be the new kid before I met Max.
Oh, what a nice.
What a good egg this Jacob is.

(26:45):
Not a disgusting egg like the ones his dad makes.
He's a good egg.
The bus ride was never really long, so we arrived to school real soon.
That's good to know.
P.E. went by really fast as well.
I knew what the universe was doing to me.
I want that on a shirt.

(27:05):
I know what the universe is doing to me.
Yeah, I'm on to you, Cosmos.
I knew what the universe was doing to me.
It was speeding up time, so it would be time to go to bed soon so it could torture me with
another long and terrible nightmare.
Well, this kid has a persecution complex.

(27:30):
When it was time for art, Mrs. Gola was going to teach us how to make a dream catcher.
Nice.
Dramatic.
I didn't even know what a dream catcher was.
A dream catcher is an object believed to catch bad dreams in its net so the person it watches
over doesn't have them, Mrs. Gola explained to the class.

(27:52):
I guess she was going to show us how to make one.
After all, it is art.
So when everybody had the right supplies, Mrs. Gola...
Okay, her name had been Mrs. Gola this whole time, but I'm just reading the way it's typed
out here.
So when everybody had the right supplies, Mrs. Gorilla passed out an instruction sheet

(28:18):
to everybody and the whole class got to work.
I was going to make the best dream catcher ever.
I was determined to get rid of those horrible nightmares!
Chapter three.
Any thoughts, reactions so far to Jacob and his journey?
Well, I was going to ask you, and I didn't, but when we finished chapter one, if you had

(28:43):
a prediction of what that was going to turn out to be, I thought it was going to be like
just like playtime in the backyard or something.
So the fact that it turned out to be a nightmare tricked me.
So I think when Dynasty originally shared the link, I did get a glimpse of the first

(29:03):
chapter and I don't know if I was like super smart and I'm like, oh, bad dream come true.
There's a boy with his dog on a volcano.
That's probably a bad dream.
Or if I just had glimpsed that in the first paragraph of chapter two, I couldn't honestly
tell you.
But so yeah, I was kind of spoiled one way or the other.

(29:24):
Yeah, I guess the title should have indicated to me what was going to...
What was going on?
I think just the fact that it was a volcano made it seem like playtime rather than dreamtime.
Well, I think I might've ruined you there just with the fierce firecracker battles that
ensued in the opening scene to Evil Mirror.

(29:45):
It's like, oh, we're starting with an outdoor playtime scene.
Just out of curiosity, how many chapters are there?
There is 24 chapters in this baby.
24.
All right.
I'm excited to see how this plays out.
I'm invested.
I know who everybody is.

(30:06):
I know what their deals are.
That's all you can ask for.
I understand their personality type.
Yeah, exactly.
Excuse me.
I understand there's a dog that will come into play.
I'm really curious how this is going to pan out just because knowing how my own imagination
worked in Evil Mirror, I don't think that anybody would have...

(30:32):
This is not like me patting myself on the back too much, but just in the way that kids'
minds work, I don't think that anybody could have really suspected like, oh, it's an Evil
Mirror that's hiding an ancient lizard person on the other side who lives in another dimension
and is trying to take over this kid's body.
In that same vein, I'm very curious to how Jacob is going to be dealing with his bad

(30:56):
dreams and what shape they're going to take here.
Let's find out.
Yeah, let's dive back in.
Chapter three.
The bell rang and everyone was finished with their dreamcatcher.
Everybody else's looked great, but mine looked like junk.
Mrs. Gola, I asked her after class ended, does the dreamcatcher have to be done just

(31:17):
right for it to work?
Why, yes, it does, Jacob, she replied.
Just lie to the kid.
It's definitely not a growth mindset at that school, I can tell you that.
It does have to be absolutely perfect for it to be of any significance or worth whatsoever.

(31:38):
Have a nice day.
Why, this piece of garbage will only make things worse for you.
Well, goodbye.
I'm pretty sure the universe, you just angered the universe even more by this pitiful attempt
at arts and crafts.
Were you doing this with your eyes closed?
I don't understand how you messed it up so terribly, Jacob.

(32:00):
Were you dreaming when you made this?
I was so disappointed.
The rest of the day seemed like it took only a minute to pass over.
I thought maybe time would go slower if I walked home today to clear my head instead
of ride the bus.
Wow, that's an option for you?
Hope you know your way home.

(32:21):
Oh, Max walked with me though.
Well, that's good.
She's a good friend.
Even though she sometimes makes fun of me, she always has my back if something ever happened.
See?
Just what Eric was saying, we know who these people are, we know what their deals are.
Nice job, Dynasty, very economic writing.
Chapter four, as Max and I walked home, something small.

(32:44):
Yeah, that was by surprise.
Sorry.
Chapter four, as Max and I walked home.
Yeah, it wasn't exactly the kind of cliffhanger that good old RL would sometimes end his chapters
on.
Chapter four, as Max and I walked home, something small caught our attention.

(33:05):
It was a new antique store.
Oh, hey, got Eric's number there.
My favorite trope.
I hope they find no weird object.
Yes, it was a new antique store.
At first, I didn't want to even think about it.
That's taking a hard stance against antique stores.

(33:27):
But I saw something that would make my day.
A dream catcher.
Already made and ready to trap my nightmares.
I want commercials to sell dream catchers that way, already made and ready to trap your
innermost fears.
Are you a dumb kid who made a stupid ineffective dream catcher?

(33:47):
Have we got the thing for you.
So I told Max, let's check the place out.
But she decided to wait outside.
If only I knew entering that store would change my life.
I would have never even glanced at it.
Now there's a R.L. Stein cliffhanger right there.

(34:10):
Chapter five.
Chapter five, you got it.
All right.
When I stepped in the foul smelling store, the cashier just stared at me.
That makes me think that the cashier just farted and is like, oh, God, this kid just
walked in here at the most inopportune moment.

(34:33):
Damn it.
The cashier just stared at me.
I ignored him and tried to find the dream catcher I saw in the window.
When I found it, I took it to the cashier and said, how much for this dream catcher?
He told me it was not for sale, but I was desperate.
I then I then found a small tag strung on the net of the dream catcher saying it was

(34:59):
twenty dollars.
That was kind of high for a small dream catcher, but I didn't care.
I'm glad Jacob is able to realize that.
So I threw two ten dollar bills in his face and ran with the dream catcher.
Get yourself some gas bills, buddy.
Here you go.
It sounded like you might have had some comments earlier.

(35:22):
Oh, I don't.
I think I was just going to make a joke about like, like, in fact, nothing in this store
is for sale.
Please leave.
I just come here to pass some gas.
I don't even work here.
But also I was going to say I have absolutely no idea how much a dream catcher costs.

(35:44):
So when I heard the twenty dollar tag, I was like, I don't know.
That could be right.
Yeah, I haven't been to the flea market lately.
You know, inflation is a thing.
That could be how much dream catchers are running these days.
I don't know.
All right.
Chapter six.
Let's go.
I shouted at Max.
What's wrong?
Ellipses.

(36:05):
Hey, ellipses.
Jake, did you steal that thing?
She questioned me.
No, I answered back.
I left the guy twenty dollars for this thing.
I think you got ripped off because that is just ridiculous, Jake.
Max seems so pragmatic.
Max yelled at me after I did my homework and ate dinner.

(36:26):
I couldn't wait to go to sleep for the first time in a long time.
It was nine thirty p.m. and I was ready to put my new dream catcher to the test.
I nailed it to the wall over my bed and closed my eyes.
And then soon I was in a deep, deep sleep.
Chapter seven.

(36:47):
OK, I was going to say, is that a chapter break?
Yep.
These are flying by.
Yeah, I told you.
Chapter seven.
I was in a dream, but it was one of those rare dreams where you knew you were dreaming
and sometimes you could make anything you wanted happen.
Oh, that's pretty.
That's pretty insightful for a middle schooler.
I don't know if I was that aware of how dreams worked at that age.

(37:10):
So good on you again there, dynasty.
I was in my bedroom alone with Sam.
OK, Sam's a dog.
Just reminding everybody as I walked into the dining room downstairs, millions and millions
of dollars surrounded Sam and me.
I knew it was a dream and I could still remember the dream catcher.

(37:31):
So I thought that it must be a good dream.
The dream catcher worked.
The dream catcher worked.
Exclamation points all around.
I'm starting to think that Sam has a hand in these dreams of his.
Yeah, why is he always there?
Yeah, I feel like we're going to get like a monster blood-esque twist and it's like,
oh, the cat was actually a witch in disguise the whole time.

(37:55):
Sam was actually a warlock who gets melted by orange soda at the end.
OK, chapter eight.
I took a big wad of cash and went straight down to the mall.
I purchased a few things for my mom and dad, a little something for Sam, a couple things
for Max, and a whole lot of stuff for me.

(38:16):
I was on a million dollar shopping spree.
But even though it was my dream that I thought I could control, I found it quite odd that
everybody in the mall stared at me and then in an uncomfortable, acquired way.
I don't know what that means, but I kind of like the sound of a dynasty in an uncomfortable,

(38:38):
acquired way.
Like the way they were staring at me, it was uncomfortable, but it was kind of an acquired
taste of uncomfortable.
Once I got home in my lightning fast new sports car that I didn't have to have a license for,
the TV turned itself on and the news came on and the news lady said that there was a

(39:02):
five million dollar reward for my whereabouts and or capture.
It was not a dream.
It's a nightmare.
Oh, no.
Guess what?
Chapter break.
Chapter nine, baby.
OK.
Soon the police was right outside my door.
They broke inside my house like a SWAT team and took me to the big house.

(39:26):
Nice.
The slammer.
Yeah.
The cooler, whatever.
I this I say this endearingly in a way that I totally would have done the same thing,
but I find it funny that the dynasty said the police were right outside my door.

(39:46):
They broke inside my house like a SWAT team as opposed to saying there was a SWAT team
outside my door and they broke in.
I would have done the exact same thing as a kid.
It's like, oh, the police.
Who breaks into the house?
SWAT team does.
OK.
No, no reason to put the two together.
All right.
So they took me to the big house.

(40:07):
Still dreaming.
A day later, I was in the courtroom and all the people in there were giving me a silent
evil Claire.
I didn't even have a real lawyer.
My lawyer was just.
I'm excited to hear.

(40:30):
My lawyer was just a little half full bottle of Coca-Cola.
What the hell?
That's a good detail.
That's a good dream.
Yeah, that is very surreal.
I don't think I don't think Aurel Stein would have been as brave as you dynasty to go right

(40:52):
for the surrealist.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
I ask you, is my lawyer half full or half empty?
Think about it.
Oh, my God.
I was having a weird and scary dream with emphasis on the weird and scary.

(41:15):
The judge accused me of stealing infinity gazillion quadrillion dollars from the government.
I knew I was dreaming because there is no such number.
The jurors decided I was guilty and the judge sentenced me to the electric tear in two hours.

(41:37):
Wow.
The two hours were up and the Coca-Cola.
You don't say I feel like there is genuine.

(42:03):
This is the touch of a genuine humorist.
Like you know, kids say funny things all the time, like in a in an unknowing way.
Yeah.
But I feel like dynasty knew he was he was on to something here.
He's like, I'm running with this Coca-Cola thing.
This is actually kind of funny.
I think I love that line.

(42:23):
I love that line that the jurors decided I was guilty.
Oh, yeah.
The two hours were up and the Coca-Cola bottle was no help at all.
I feel like dynasty was in the know when he wrote that he knew what he was up to.
Nice job, dynasty.
In a flash, I was sitting in a cold and uncomfortable chair.

(42:45):
Was it was it uncomfortable in an acquired way is my question.
The man rubbed a cold wet sponge on my forehead and set a metal thing on top of my head like
a sun visor and strap me up.
Oh, I love that.
That's so endearing.
When you're likening, especially as a kid, you're likening something completely foreign
to you to something that you are familiar with.

(43:08):
It's like I don't know what that thing on the electric chair is called, but I know but
I know what a sun visor is.
And they're practically the same.
That's why we have analogies in the English language.
Yeah, it's a great thing.
I was so scared.
Another man had his hand on a big switch.
But before he could pull the switch down, a huge sound that sounded like the alarm of

(43:30):
a digital clock distracted everyone.
Then all of a sudden, everything was a pure white blur.
I actually really like that detail.
I could see that.
I could see all of this really playing out very cinematically.
And that is cool how in a very scary story for kids way, it's like, oh, God, the kids

(43:57):
in the electric chair.
But he's like, no, no, no.
I have a very organic way to take us out of this before anything too grisly occurs.
And yeah, I could see you're anticipating this big horrible sound, like the machine
whirring, but it's just a digital alarm clock and everybody's kind of looking around.

(44:17):
That's actually really good.
Very impressive stuff.
I agree.
I haven't cringed at all so far in this story.
Really?
Not even for Coca-Cola?
Well, again, like you said, I think that was intentionally meant to be weird.
I don't think it was like somebody not knowing how to tell a story.

(44:37):
True enough.
I guess it just took me by surprise because I wasn't expecting that genuine touch of a
surreal humor.
Yeah.
Okay.
Chapter 10.
I awoke with a jerk and then I told him to leave.
That was me.
That last part was me.
Yeah, it was worth it.
Yeah, worth it.
My alarm clock was beeping.

(44:58):
It was time for me to get ready for school.
I was so relieved that all that stuff was just a dream.
I was too horrified to eat breakfast, so I went straight to the bus stop.
It was a regular Thursday morning for me, waiting at the bus stop early, shaking because
of a horrible nightmare.
Fifteen minutes later, the bus came around the corner.

(45:20):
I just knew what Max was going to say.
What's wrong with you?
Don't tell me.
Another nightmare, right?
I sometimes thought if life was a sitcom, that would be her catchphrase.
Wow, very knowing, Dynasty.
Max asked the obvious question as I predicted.
I don't feel like it today, Max, I told her.

(45:41):
Oh, come on, you know, talking about it always calms you down.
Max persuaded me.
I really like their dynamic.
Although it really doesn't, I told her anyway.
For the first time in a long time, the day went slow and steady.
When I got home, two or three minutes later, the phone rang.
Jacob, that was Max on the phone.
She's going to sleep over to help you get through these so-called nightmares you're

(46:04):
having.
Mom told me.
Thanks for the support, Mom.
Yeah, thanks for gaslighting me, Mom.
Jesus.
These so-called, the so-called trauma you're going through, whatever.
And I was happy that she was coming over tonight because I never had the guts to ask her myself.

(46:25):
A little bit of preteen romance.
Good old R.L. never broached that.
Doing it very tastefully so far, Dynasty.
Max came over.
Oh, this is a good one.
Max came over at around 647 p.m.
But who's counting?
When it was lights off, Max was in her sleeping bag and I was in my bed.

(46:47):
Before I shut my eyes, I looked at the time and it was 1053 p.m.
Then just five seconds later, there was a big thumping noise.
A noise that came from downstairs.
Chapter 11.
Max, I called in a whisper.
Did you hear that?

(47:08):
What are you talking about?
Max yawned sleepily.
But then we both jumped wide awake when we heard that big thumping noise again.
As Max and I slowly creeped down the stairs, we saw Sam.
I'm telling you right now, this fucking dog.
He's behind it.
Sam was trying to break a hole in the wall.

(47:30):
Sam, stop that now, I called out to him, but he didn't listen to me.
He kept on scratching and ramming the wall.
With what?
His head?
I had no idea what for, but I couldn't just stand there and watch him tear up the house.
So I grabbed his tail and tried to tug him away.
But then he turned around and bit me.

(47:53):
Chapter 12.
That's pretty normal dog behavior, actually.
Yeah, pretty normal dog behavior when you pull on their tails.
But what a surprise in the context of this story.
Chapter 12.
Ow!
I wailed as blood dripped slowly down my hand.
Sam's eyes stared at me with dark green eyes as if he was angry.

(48:18):
I don't understand.
I always pulled on his tail and he never made a big deal out of it before.
I just wanted Sam to be like, well now I'm fucking tired of it, okay?
Then Sam barked extremely loud a couple times.
Jake, what's wrong with your dog?
Max exed with fear.

(48:39):
Then Sam growled, a vicious growl at us.
And then he pounced.
Chapter 13.
Sam pounced and Max and I screamed and ran away.
This just tells you what a loser I am.
I'm picturing all of this playing out as an episode from the Goosebumps TV show.

(49:03):
And I'm totally seeing Sam, I don't know for whatever reason, I'm picturing him as a Schnauzer.
Just like you see him bearing his gnarly little teeth.
And then you see him slow-mo pounce.
And then the Batman tilt on Jacob and Max's faces as they're like, ah.

(49:27):
And then the musical sting and it just fades out to commercial.
I totally pictured that in my head just now.
I think you nailed it.
Yeah, a Goosebumps episode where every act is like 30 seconds long.
And then it's like three minutes of commercials.
It's like, oh my God, how many times do we have to hear about these Nerf guns?

(49:48):
Just get back to the episode.
Chapter 13.
And in much the same way, you go back from the commercial and there's Jacob and Max still
screaming.
Sam pounced and Max and I screamed and ran away.
Then I shoved Max in the closet as we passed by.
I closed the door hoping Sam would just leave her alone.

(50:09):
Aw, Jacob.
But I was wrong.
Max screamed for help as Sam scratched and ran the door, trying to break it down.
So with my hands still bleeding, I grabbed Max's tail again to keep him away from Max.
But this time I was ready.
I jerked my hand back before he could bite me again.
But my plan worked too well.

(50:30):
Ooh, that's the end of chapter 13.
What does he mean by that?
So I will pause to say I'm pretty perplexed at this point because now we're entering into
strange things happening during non-sleepy time and another person is involved.
Yeah.
That would be a pretty good twi- I would be surprised.

(50:52):
Well, I mean, I'm saying it so I guess I can't be too surprised.
But you know, going along with the course of this narrative, I would be surprised to
find out that this was like just another dream.
So far I think Dynasty is handling it very ably.
Chapter 14.
I wailed for mom and dad to help, but they didn't come.
Sam, please, don't you remember me?

(51:15):
It's me, Jacob.
I pleaded to the dog that I thought was one of my best friends in the whole world.
But Sam didn't care.
He kept barking and growling and jumping, trying to get a good grip on me.
He chased me upstairs, downstairs, through the hall, the dining room, and finally I was
trapped downstairs in the basement.

(51:36):
The mad dog was in a position to pounce on me and bite my face off.
I closed my eyes, wishing he would get it over with.
I had my eyes closed for at least one minute.
I got tired of holding my eyes shut, so I opened them.
I like that.
I got tired of holding my eyes shut, so I opened them.

(51:59):
Big whoop.
Then Sam pounced at me.
Oh man, what a sadistic dog.
Just imagine this terrified kid standing there like shaking with his eyes closed and that
dog's like, I'm going to wait for this motherfucker to open his eyes.
I want him to see me coming.
Yeah.
You wait a full minute.

(52:19):
It's like, it's going to be worth it.
I want to see the fear in his eyes when I come for him.
God damn, Sam.
Then Sam pounced at me.
His sharp teeth were one centimeter away from my face when everything was a pure white blur
again.
Oh damn, dynasty.
Did you just pull the rug out from us?

(52:43):
Another dream.
Told you.
I don't know.
I thought some weird reality altering stuff was about to happen, but maybe that could
still be true.
Do we know if dynasty is from America or are they from a country that utilizes the metric?
Okay.

(53:03):
Oh, the centimeter thing?
Yeah.
Well, I was going to say, I remember learning about centimeters in school and the fact that
they were smaller than inches.
I remember thinking, I think it was when I was reading the Fear Street book about the
night or whatever, whatever that one was called.
He swings his sword and it's like the sword, the blade passed inches by my face or something.

(53:30):
I remember thinking, it would really raise the stakes if it only passed centimeters from
your face because that's even closer.
I have a feeling that was the exact frame of mind that dynasty wrote that because that's
seems like that seems true to something that I would do.
It's like exactly what you said.
It's like, I want to up the stakes.
I want to really communicate that this thing was right on top of this kid.

(53:54):
So inches, I'm not pussy footing around here.
No half measures.
I'm not going inches.
I'm going centimeters.
We're taking this to the streets.
All right.
Anyway, chapter 15.
Jake Max called to me already dressed for school.

(54:15):
Oh, you're going to be late.
It's Friday.
How did you get out of the closet and how did I get here?
I asked Max.
Did I roll down the stairs and into the living room?
Did you roll me back up the stairs?
Max, wait a minute.
If you didn't, that must mean, oh no, soggy sheets.

(54:40):
First of all, you fell asleep here last night.
And secondly, what closet are you talking about?
Max answered and asked at the same time.
Dynasty juggling the two speech tags.
Before I said anything, I realized I just had another nightmare.

(55:01):
What a relief, I thought to myself.
Never mind, I told Max.
But somehow I think Max knew that I was dreaming.
After Max and I ate breakfast, we took our bags and headed for the bus stop.
Do I even have to ask what's wrong with you?
Max asked me.
I bet you know already.
Another nightmare, right?

(55:21):
Max asked for the one millionth time.
School went by supper fast today and it was time to go to sleep before I knew it.
I was super scared of what my next nightmare was going to be.
So I let Sam sleep.
I let Sam sleep at the end of my bed tonight, pretty brave of you considering that nightmare
he just had.
I don't think Sam can, is an ally.

(55:44):
Well, nevermind, you already said that.
Anyway, keep going.
Sam is very comforting to sleep with.
He doesn't smell or make noises.
And if the slightest thing is unusual, he is ready and alert.
He's the opposite of that guy who ran the antique store.
Yeah, exactly.
Who was comatose and smelly.
I feel like that was like an excised line from the Spice Girls song, Wanna Be.

(56:10):
It's like, if you want to be my lover, you can't smell and you can't make noises.
It's like, we might want to rethink that one.
So I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
Hey, wait, shut up.
This is the last sentence of the chapter.
You shut up.
So I closed my eyes.
You brought up the Spice Girls.
So I closed my eyes and hoped for the best as I fell into the deepest sleep I ever had

(56:32):
in my life.
Okay, the end.
What do you need to say about the Spice Girls?
Do you know which one was the most popular one?
I just found this out.
Oh, okay.
It's not it's not a lame joke.
Who was it?
Well, okay.
My prediction was Scary Spice.
And I admitted to a day that that might just be because she's like still kind of around

(56:52):
hosting, you know, America's Got Talent or whatever.
But then my girlfriend looked up a poll, a contemporary poll.
And number one most popular was Posh Spice.
She's the one who married David Beckham, right?
I expect no, I think that's still I think that's still Scary Spice because she's Victoria.

(57:15):
Hold on a second.
I have to check.
A brief intermission in a bad dream come true.
Oh, you know what?
You're right.
Okay, you're right.
I'm sorry.
I didn't look into it enough.
I knew one of them was and I just assumed it was the other Victoria.

(57:37):
Anyway, any was Scary Spice your favorite?
I guess as much as I knew any of them.
Yeah, I think that's the thing.
She was the most memorable to me as a kid.
Her and Baby Spice because it's like, oh, that was like, you know, that was a theme,

(57:57):
a recognizable theme, you know, for me to see her play into.
It's like, oh, she's like the cute baby doll one.
And then like some of the other ones, it's like, I don't even know what posh is.
So sure.
And then you know, scary.
It's like, oh, yeah, I dig her.
Scary Spice.
Yeah, scary stuff.
Yep.
Who I think originally was named Sexy Spice.

(58:19):
But then I think somebody was like, well, we're trying to appeal to kids.
So maybe I'll keep we cannot keep wearing the same sexy clothing, but we cannot verbally
acknowledge anything titillating.
Anyway, let's get on with on that note.
Bad dreams come true or whatever the title was a bad dream come true.

(58:43):
But yes, as you said, there are several.
Well, none of them are actually really coming true though.
Now that I think about it.
That we know of.
Maybe that'll change.
Let's go after 16.
Where am I?
I thought to myself, wait a minute, did I miss something?
Oh yeah, yeah, he was.
Yeah, I rushed through that last sentence because Eric had to tell me something about

(59:06):
the Spice Girls.
That's why I don't remember.
You could have just waited and then we both would have been paying equal attention to
it.
It was the last goddamn sentence.
I was not going to do that.
No.
Anyway, where am I?
I thought to myself, I was in the dark all alone.
Then, a very evil laugh echoed around me.
Who's there?
I shouted, but there was no answer for a while.

(59:29):
Then a smell came to my sense came to came to senses.
A very foul smell.
It smelled like spoiled milk, rotten eggs and spoiled meat.
It's like playing Family Feud.
What are the top three worst smelling things?
We got spoiled milk, rotten eggs and spoiled meat.

(59:50):
Good job.
Then the darkness lifted.
Then I saw a figure in the distance.
Oh God, Dynasty, I swear to God, if it's a lizard person.
Then I saw a figure in the distance.
A few seconds later, I knew who it was.
It was the cashier at that new antique store.

(01:00:10):
But what was he doing in my dream?
I only met the guy for about 34 seconds.
This must be a thing, I swear.
This must be a thing with these specific numbers.
Man.
30 seconds of him staring at me and four seconds of me throwing money in his face.

(01:00:30):
It was a memorable encounter.
I warned you not to take the dream catcher.
Now you will pay.
I wondered what he meant that I would pay.
I gave him $20 for the thing, which should have been enough, I thought.
And then the smell came back and the cashier was gone.
And in his place was this hideous green and black monster.

(01:01:00):
Chapter 17.
I stared in horror.
I was frozen solid.
I just couldn't move.
Then the monster in a dark raspy voice said, See you tomorrow, Jacob.
And he disappeared in thin air.
What did he mean by seeing me tomorrow?

(01:01:22):
I wondered.
I feel like that's a Stein thing right there.
The asking of obvious questions for things that just happened.
For sure.
What did he mean by repeat the last thing I typed here?
I have been doing a lot of wondering and thinking in these past three dreams lately.

(01:01:43):
My dreams were not this bad until I got that dream catcher.
Tomorrow I'm taking that thing down.
I sat in the dark for hours waiting for the white blur to wake me up for real.
That's kind of that's probably the most terrifying thing that's happened in any of these dreams
yet.
I was getting ready to fall asleep when I heard beeping.
It was my radio digital alarm clock.

(01:02:05):
This horrible mess was almost over.
The white blur surrounded me unsurprisingly.
I see you white blur.
But if only I knew that this mess was far from over.
If only I knew that maybe I could have prepared myself for the horror that lied ahead of me.

(01:02:29):
White blur is my rapper name.
Anyway, let's keep going.
Well I find your raps unsurprising, Eric.
Chapter 18.
I awoke and Sam was sound asleep at the foot of my bed.
It was Saturday and there was no school so I had plenty of time to get my head straight.

(01:02:49):
But the first thing I was going to do was take down that dream catcher.
I pulled and struggled and pulled some more but the dream catcher wouldn't come off my
wall.
So then I took my dad's hammer and pulled only half and okay.
So then I took my dad's hammer and pulled only half of the dream catcher off the wall

(01:03:10):
but the other half fell off a few seconds later.
Okay.
The dream catcher was broken in half and I smelt that same exact smell I had smelt in
my dream.
But the smell was even worse.
I might have to put in the Mr. Crab clip from SpongeBob here.

(01:03:34):
Yeah exactly.
A smelly smell that smells smelly.
Even Sam wrinkled his nose and ran out of the room as fast as he could.
The smell soon lifted and I felt like it was time.
I love this transition.
The smell soon lifted and I felt like it was time to greet the family.

(01:04:00):
But when I came downstairs to say good morning I dazed in horror.
There was millions and millions of dollars on my dining room table just like the dream
I had three days ago.
But how it's happening.
Did it come from.
Why did it happen.
When did it happen.
How did it happen.

(01:04:23):
That's not me folks.
That is the series of questions that this chapter ends on.
And all of those have been question marks but the final one how did it happen ends with
question mark exclamation point.
In terribank.
How did it happen.
Oh is that the official name.
I think so.
Unless I'm misremembering.

(01:04:44):
Well you know more than I do.
At least about everything.
Well as of this moment let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Chapter 19 even though I was in shock I knew what happened in my dream.
I didn't hesitate to take action.
I ran to Max's house because I knew no matter how out of hand this crazy bad dream come

(01:05:05):
true gets she would have my back.
Max Max open up.
I shouted as I knocked on her door continuously.
Hey what's going on Jake Max asked me.
I told her all the weird things that had happened and that maybe my nightmares are coming to
true.
I found it amazing that she believed me.

(01:05:25):
When I asked her why she believed me she said you are all over the news for robbing banks
Jake.
I know you didn't do it because I was with you all yesterday and you don't have the brains
to come up with such a scheme.
Oh Max telling it like it is.
Yeah Max is cool.

(01:05:48):
Thanks for the support I said sarcastically.
Oh God if I had a dime for every time somebody said something sarcastic in a goose bumps
book.
What if we take the dream catcher back to the antique store Max exclaimed.
So we went back to my house to fetch the dream catcher.
Once we stepped in my room we heard a growl.

(01:06:09):
An angry horrifying growl.
Oh no Max I forgot all about my second worst nightmare.
Dun dun dun.
Chapter 20.
We're getting to the.
We're at the home gates here people hang on.
Chapter 20.
I grabbed the two pieces of the dream catcher and Max's arm and ran downstairs and headed

(01:06:33):
for the door.
But there he was.
Little Sam just sitting at the door as if he was guarding it.
Oh hi Sammy Max called in a lovable kind of tone.
Come here boy.
Sam did come to Max but not the way Max expected.
As Sam tried.

(01:07:00):
What's the quote from evil mirror.
I want you inside me or something like that.
I don't think.
I.
Well I feel like this one from Dynasty story is a little more ambiguous than my completely
mentally abrasive one was where it was like now be a good boy and hold still.

(01:07:21):
Yeah I feel like Sam did come to Max but not the way Max expected.
You know it's in that same field but it's not at the same 50 yard line.
He said acting like he knew what sports were.
Yeah I don't know if that makes any sense but go on.
Yeah sure.
Anyway as Sam tried to pounce on Max I knew it was going to happen.

(01:07:43):
So before Sam got even one paw closer to paw closer to us I grabbed Max and pushed her
out the door.
Then I tricked Sam to pound straight into the closet and I locked the door.
I'm laughing not so much for what Dynasty said is just what I pictured in my head again

(01:08:05):
like if this was like a live action TV episode I just imagine like Sam Pouncing quote unquote
is just a shot of this dog that's clearly being thrown into this closet you know stiff
legged like rrrrr and just slamming the door behind him.

(01:08:26):
Oh my god.
Then after that I joined Max.
Let's go now.
I boomed at her.
Boom.
Chapter 21.
Max and I arrived at the antique store and we both hurried inside.
The cashier was there staring at me as if he expected me.
Children crying out.

(01:08:48):
The cashier is a very scary man.
Please can you take this thing back you don't have to give me a refund I just need you to
take this thing back I pleaded.
I warned you not to take the dream cashier.
Now you will pay and you as well girl.
The cashier screamed.

(01:09:08):
I love that this guy went from basic silence to just like the lizard person from my story
like full on comic book villain.
You will pay as well.
Then the smell appeared again even stronger than before in a green mist.

(01:09:29):
I'm trying to think was there a bad smell in Evil Mirror signaling the approach of the
lizard man.
I can't remember.
Okay.
I was just curious.
The smell appeared again even stronger than before in a green mist.
It stinks.
I think I'm going to puke.
Max cried.

(01:09:50):
Oh yeah that's very Steinian as well.
Eric's favorite trope.
His least favorite trope occurring inside of his most favorite trope.
That seems cruel.
The smell didn't bother me much because I was kind of used to it.
But then when the mist cleared I heard that laugh again.

(01:10:14):
That evil laugh.
And there I saw it.
The monster.
The hideous green and black monster.
And he wanted to get Max and me.
All right.
Chapter 22.
Okay.
Chapter break.
Of 24.
Chapter 22.
What are you?

(01:10:35):
Max acts in fright.
He's the monster in my last worst nightmare I exclaim.
You're right Jacob.
I'm the reason you have been having nightmares every night nonstop for the past two months.
I'm not sure how that works out but okay.
I got caught in that dream catcher but when you broke it I was set free into the real

(01:10:59):
world.
And so was every other dream you had when you set up that dream catcher.
That's actually really creative.
I like that a lot.
Nice job dynasty.
The monster explained in a raspy voice.
What are you going to do to us Max asked?

(01:11:20):
Well, as long as you two no longer exist I can stay in the real world.
I know you know what the next word is Eric say it with me.
Forever.
The monster boomed.

(01:11:40):
Chapter 23.
Oh okay.
Punchy.
Punchy chapters.
Yep.
So Max and I ran out the store.
But to our surprise the SWAT team surrounded us.
Oh god I hope they just gun this thing down mercilessly.
One man shot at us and caught a newspaper on fire on the sidewalk.

(01:12:04):
All right.
Playing fast and loose with the ignition of paper.
I quickly stuffed it in my old lady neighbor's face.
Yep.
Mrs. Johnson catch.
The monster was right behind us.

(01:12:26):
I looked down at the dreamcatcher and mumbled to it.
You've been nothing but trouble for Max and me.
You made my family disappear.
You made my dog go psycho.
You made me wet myself five seconds ago.
I love that.
So that's something that we're just hearing now.
Yeah, that's a good reveal.

(01:12:50):
You made my dog go psycho.
You made me wet myself five seconds ago.
And worst of all my best friend is going to pay for what I've done.
Aw.
Jacob.
Heart of gold.
That's the worst thing that's happened.
I wish I never laid my eyes on you.
Then I threw the pieces of the dreamcatcher into the newspaper that was on fire.

(01:13:15):
Nice.
Then as the dreamcatcher burned, the figures in my nightmares were disappearing.
Then when the whole dreamcatcher was almost turned to ashes, a piece of it had popped
out.
The monster was almost gone.
You.
You can't do this to me.

(01:13:37):
Who do you think you are?
I love that this monster is so outraged.
Like morally outraged as he's like being immolated.
How dare you?
Who do you think you are?
The monster boomed extremely loud.
As I put the piece back into the fire, I shouted back, I'm Jacob, your worst nightmare.

(01:14:02):
Nice dynasty.
Applause.
Applause.
And then the monster was gone.
Good work.
Good work.
Damn.
All right.
Let's go.
Damn.
Let's wrap this up.
Chapter 24.
When Max was at home safe and sound, I greeted my good old normal Sam with a nice hug and

(01:14:27):
a good tickle on his belly.
Also my mom and dad were at work the whole time.
I was so happy it was by the way, in case you were wondering, I was so happy it was
over as I went to bed that night with all the horrifying drama I had.

(01:14:47):
I didn't care about having a bad dream.
Then Sunday went on by and it was Monday again.
When I climbed onto the bus to go to school, Max asked, wow, what's wrong with you?
Let me guess another nightmare, right?
You're wrong, Max.
I had two good dreams on Saturday and Sunday.

(01:15:11):
First I dreamed that you and I were at Six Flags for days.
And the next one I can't really tell you about.
Just kidding.
First I dreamed that you and I were at Six Flags for days.
And the next night I dreamed Sam and I won first place in the dog show that we lost last
year.
Then Thomas the new kid who sat across from us said, at least you have good dreams.

(01:15:35):
I had nothing but nightmares for about the past nine weeks, but I saw a dream catcher
in the window of the antique store.
That will solve my problems.
My dad gave me some money to buy it right after school today.
Max and I fell silent knowing that Thomas was heading for trouble.

(01:15:57):
The end.
All right.
Any thoughts, Eric?
Exciting.
It was great.
It was, wasn't it?
I was invested the entire time.
Yeah.
And I got, I gotta tell you, you know, dynasty mentioned, you know, in his words, he called

(01:16:19):
it a cringe fest and talked about the grammar and whatnot.
The grammar was actually not that bad.
A dynasty just to assuage you on that point.
But there were, there were, there were ideas here and little moments that were really good.
Like I love the concept of like the dream catcher working against Jacob and that it

(01:16:42):
just kind of like was a holding cell for his bad dreams.
And then the dream catcher broke.
And that's what allowed them to like break through the, you know, the fabric of dreams
into reality.
I thought that was really neat.
I don't know if that's been done before.
I wouldn't be surprised if it, if it has, but I think that's pretty damn creative for,

(01:17:06):
you know, an adolescent to come up with that.
And the fact that the, I know we, sorry, Arl Stein, that all we do is bash you on the show.
I know we've talked before about how you don't see like sophisticated levels of like set
up and payoff and Goosebumps books.
Really?
So the fact that the SWAT team came back at the end and actually played a role in, uh,

(01:17:30):
immolating the monster is like, Oh, good on you for having a, some, a basic grasp of decent
storytelling structure.
Yeah, no, definitely.
And I was also going to say that, um, I can attest having, you know, written stories like
these myself, having read Evil Mirror, we revisited it.

(01:17:52):
Um, I don't think I had anything half as cool as Jacob's final one-liner.
That was that speaking of pay, payoffs, that was really good.
But thank you again, Dynasty for allowing us to read this on the podcast.
We hope that maybe you enjoyed listening to it in this context, you know, having somebody

(01:18:17):
else communicate the words.
But in any case, we had a great time reading it.
It's a blast.
It's just so funny to know that there are others out there who were so marinated in
these texts that they felt motivated and were wholeheartedly inspired to basically ape R.

(01:18:41):
L. Stein style to make their own Goosebumps books.
So thank you for your service.
Thank you for your graciousness and allowing us to share it on the podcast.
Yes, thank you.
Yes.
And speaking of sharing, if you yourself listener, yeah, I'm talking to you.
If you have anything you'd love to share with us, whether they're even just memories of

(01:19:04):
stories that you wrote as a kid at this age that were inspired by Goosebumps or just they
were your own spooky creations, reach out to us, let us know.
You can get to us via email.
It's blackmagictreehousepod at gmail.com and that handle is the same one you can find us
on Instagram.
Um, but yeah, if you got pictures, like I know I talked before in like the evil mirror

(01:19:29):
episode that I did like drawings to all the monster movies I was watching, even if you
just got pictures that you drew, maybe your own Goosebumps cover mockups, you know, definitely
tag us in those.
Send them our way.
We'd love to feature or highlight them some way on the show just to, yeah, celebrate the

(01:19:51):
way that we, we all love these stories back in the day.
Um, yeah, I'm going to keep it short cause I know I, I go on at this point in the show.
So is there anything else you'd like to add Mr. Eric while we're up here in the hatch?
Nope, not at all.

(01:20:13):
Not at all.
Huh?
Any good jokes to end our podcast with?
Well, let me just say any jokes to end our podcast with today.
I see.
Um, do I know?
Not really.
Huh?
Not really.
Huh?
Do you?
I'm not the only one here.

(01:20:34):
That's true.
But I mean, you've kind of made it your thing.
I feel like it's your trademark at this point.
It's a gift and a curse.
Yes.
It's a heavy burden, a heavy crown that you must wear.
Oh, you know what?
Why am I sitting here trying to think up stuff?
I have a deck of 60 spooky jokes.

(01:20:55):
Oh look at that.
The Deus Ex Machina.
Yeah.
Can you believe that these have been here this whole time that we've been recording
this podcast and now is the first time they've taken them out?
Yes I can.
I know it's literally unbelievable.
All right.

(01:21:15):
Let's do a quick shuffle.
Oh my goodness.
It shouldn't be this complicated.
It shouldn't be this complicated.
What do you call two witches living together?

(01:21:39):
I don't know.
What?
You don't?
Uh, two witches living together?
An easy baked coven?
I don't know.
Did you say easy baked coven?
Yes.
That's amazing.
Uh, but no, it's actually brewmates.

(01:22:01):
Oh, well bye everybody.
See ya.
My