Fright Time, A Couple Times!

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
...

(00:30):
Hello and welcome to Black Magic Treehouse, the podcast that answers the question, when
is the fry time to read Fry Time?
Fry Time is the fry time to read Fry Time.
I am your host, Jose, but...

(00:50):
I just had an aftershock of that opening just kind of ripple through my body.
Anyway, I'm Jose, but I'm only one co-host.
You heard the ghostly voice of our other host speaking from the darkened end of his J-horror

(01:16):
abode.
Anywho, that's Eric.
Hi, Eric.
Hi, I'm Eric.
And I'm falling in love with you all over again, Jose.
Well, it's so nice to know that even after 16 episodes that we can still find room for

(01:37):
a little spice in this relationship.
Of course, we've known each other much longer than the duration of 16 beautiful podcast
episodes, but time and space are iffy things in this den of iniquity that we meet together
in twice a month to talk about creepy books for kids.

(02:01):
Yes, that's right.
I just went into a synopsis of the show, even if you've probably binged through all 16 prior
episodes and you didn't need it, you're getting it anyway.
But if you're new to the show, yeah, that's what we do.
We review creepy books for kids that we either read as kids or heard about as kids or had

(02:23):
no idea were books or had no idea that there were books when we were, you know what?
Nope, no, none of that.
No good jokes are lying down that path.
So I'm just going to stop and I'm going to turn it over to Eric to say something witty.
Oh, do you want to guess what song I have stuck in my head?

(02:45):
No, is it one that I'm going to mistakenly think that there's less OOs than there really
are?
Let's see.
I mean, I guess that's always possible with any song.
This is true.
Some of them may not have any.
I don't remember the lyrics.
Oh, you don't remember the lyrics to the song you have stuck in your head?

(03:07):
Yeah, I want you to guess what it is so that if you stumble upon the right one, I could
say that's the one.
What's the fright one?
I have no idea what song you have stuck in your head.
Not even going to warrant a guess.
Oh, well.
So what are we talking about this week, Jose?

(03:28):
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, this is going great.
What we are talking about today.
So funny story about today's topic listeners.
Back in ye olde 2023, when we first began this podcast, this would have been, I don't
know, February, probably February 2023, when we first attempted to get this this treehouse

(03:54):
off the ground, because treehouses don't go on the ground.
Silly they go up in the trees.
When we first attempted to get this thing off the ground, I chose as the subject of
what I thought was going to be our pilot episode today's topic, which is fright time.
Suffice to say, that didn't work out very well, because the funny thing that happens

(04:19):
when you initially start recording episodes of a podcast is that you're probably not very
good at podcasting, which really took Eric and I for a whirl.
I think him me more than him, because I was the one responsible for doing most of the
talking in that episode.

(04:41):
And it was about halfway through, I basically said, Well, this stinks.
Let's forget this ever happened.
But guess what life is funny.
What's old is new again, things always kind of come back around.
And here we are, not forgetting about it.
In fact, I'm bringing it up right now, as you're listening.

(05:03):
So we haven't forgotten about it.
And in fact, we're diving even deeper, because we're not only talking about the book that
the entry from the fright time series that I tried talking about that initial day back
in February, but Eric also just got done reading an entry from the series.

(05:24):
And I actually have no idea which one it is.
And I can't wait to hear what his thoughts are on it.
Just like the old days.
Yep.
Just like the old days, speaking of when we first started this podcast, we kept so many
secrets from each other.
Talk about spicing up the relationship.

(05:45):
We just kind of walked away from that for the record, though.
Yeah, for the record, I don't I don't think I've gotten any better at podcasting.
So well, that is one kind of just a flat line.
Well, at least you're consistent.
And that's that's something we need more than ever.
We need consistent people, even if it's that they are consistently not good at podcasting.

(06:10):
You know, you are filling that hole in our lives.
So thank you for your service.
Yeah.
Listen to that politicians don't get any better.
Just be consistent.
I think politicians are doing a great job of listening to that advice.
Just digging their heels in.
They're like, I'm perfect the way I am.

(06:34):
That's right.
Don't you change the thing, sweetie.
I'm a real patriot in that sense.
Yeah, you could say my superiors in that way.
Well, so which do you have any preamble for this?
I mean, I guess this has been preamble up to this point, but before we get into the
books proper.
So this is one where, you know, you mentioned.

(06:57):
Yeah, you mentioned books that we didn't know existed.
That is what this category is for me.
I never heard of fright time until just now.
Well, just now a year ago.
Hey, and that's how time works up here in the treehouse.
Just this moment just now a year ago.
That's how things operate up here.
We don't make the rules, we just live here.

(07:20):
And I think I asked you at the time and I can't remember what your answer was.
These the series, Fright Time was published by a little outfit in New York.
I believe it is.
Yep.
New York, New York.
Baronet Books.
And if you, the listener, aren't sure name wise what we're dealing with here, you know,

(07:46):
Fright Time, maybe it seems faintly familiar.
Baronet Books was the same outfit that published.
It's a good thing I have them here because I always get the name wrong.
Because there was that one classic.
No punning intended.

(08:06):
There was that one older series that adapted the classics that was called Great Illustrated
Classics.
And I always say that that's what these, this other series is, but it's not.
It's like the Walmart version.
It's Illustrated Classic Editions.

(08:27):
Illustrated Classic Editions is the series that Baronet Books put out.
They looked like this.
I'm showing Eric right now.
Do you recall ever seeing things like these in your school or public library?
Illustrated Classic Editions.

(08:48):
No.
No?
Oh wait.
Well, you know what?
Maybe if I saw a different cover I would.
They usually look like this when they were in our cover.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I read Frankenstein in that form.
Oh, cool.
I think it's probably like Treasure Island or some bullshit.

(09:08):
Yeah.
So as you could tell from Eric's eloquent description of the series, this was a line
of books that adapted the classics of high literature for a young audience.
And they had, oh, I was just checking.

(09:29):
I thought they had the same cover price as the Fry Time books, but these hardcover, illus
great Illustrated Classics.
See I always get, wait a minute, great Illustrated Classics, Illustrated Classic Editions.
All right.
So maybe it is great Illustrated Classics.
Guys, I didn't swear an oath at any time.

(09:52):
Maybe the two things are one and the same.
I don't know.
Don't come at me with your, they're the same series, Jose.
I'm doing my best here.
I'm just taking things off my shelf and I'm looking at them for the first time in over
a decade.
So just get off my case, will you?
Anyway, great Illustrated Classics adapted.

(10:17):
Classics of literature from Stevenson and Kipling and I don't know, probably Lady Chatterley's
Lover.
That's probably a highly sought after edition.
But no, seriously.
They adapted them for, I'd say, a quote unquote middle grade audience.

(10:37):
So ages eight to 12.
And they had black and white illustrations inside to augment the text.
I first encountered these, I think I was just flashing Eric with some paperback copies that
I have.
And I came in a set, a set of thrillers.

(11:03):
Because you know, the word horror just would have been too scandalous to have used.
But this was the Thriller Pack from Illustrated Classic Editions or Great Illustrated Classics.
I don't know what the difference is.
But anyway, that set had The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll

(11:26):
and Mr. Hyde, Frankenstein that Eric just mentioned, The Time Machine.
It also had The Invisible Man, but I guess I lost my copy of that to The Sands of Time.
And it also had Tales of...
Or you just can't see it up there.
Maybe it is up there.

(11:47):
Good one, Eric.
Anyway.
And also Tales of Mystery and Terror at Grail & Poe.
I just flipped to a random page in The Time Machine.
And all the illustrations, the black and white illustrations inside have a caption, you know,

(12:09):
denoting which moment from the text this picture is illustrating.
And this one from The Time Machine is Weena's Strange Song and Dance.
Yeah, I remember Weena.
Yeah, you remember Weena?

(12:29):
Halloweena?
Did you ever see the George Powell movie?
Yeah.
I think I saw that before I read this book.
So I had a little bit more of a stake in it because if I had just encountered it strictly

(12:53):
by itself, I might not have read it all the way through and found it terribly boring.
I remember I was very strategic as a kid.
Like when I got this set, this thriller pack of the illustrated classic editions, I actually
read The Time Machine first because I had a feeling that it would be the most boring.

(13:13):
Or I should say the one that would least interest me because I wasn't a sci-fi guy.
So I'm like, I'm going to read the dumb time traveling one first and savor the others afterward.
But any...
As opposed to just not reading it at all.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I was a little, I don't know, would it be accurate to say a little compulsive

(13:41):
as a kid?
Yeah, no, I'm the same way.
Yeah.
I've gotten a little bit better about that kind of thing.
It's like, you know, it's okay not to do the thing.
These rules that you're adhering to are completely arbitrary and can be broken at any point in
time.
It's like, well, thank you, self.

(14:03):
That helps me a little bit more regarding my mental health.
So trying to be easier on myself.
I'm having a problem right now because Adana bought...
Here's my first world problem.
Adana bought a PS5 for Christmas for her younger brother, but it's also like I can play it
because it's in the household.

(14:23):
And video games today, they're so expansive.
There's so much crap to do and it's not all strictly necessary usually for the actual
story of the game.
So I kind of have that problem where I'm like, I want to get on with the story, but the compulsive
side of me is like, but go explore, get all four chests in this land.

(14:45):
Make sure the map says a hundred percent explored.
So I'm just like a prisoner in Hades or something.
You said you love video games, play video games forever.
I'm just like, gotta find the next thing.
Gotta do this little side quest that doesn't matter.
I'm so miserable right now.

(15:06):
Gotta go find the secret costume that's only available in this cave over here.
That's my little...
See, that reminds me of when I was playing the last few Mortal Kombat games that I played
that had those kind of...
I think that mode is called conquest or story mode.

(15:29):
I don't even remember.
But like Mortal Kombat Deception, the story mode is basically, yeah, you can go from point
A to point B and fulfill the beats of the story, but the map is totally open for you
to explore whatever you want basically.
And I remember just going from point A to point B because it's like, I want to see the

(15:53):
story unfold.
I really don't care so much about like, oh, look, there's an Easter egg over here.
Here's this one of the combatants, a character from the actual game.
He's just kind of strolling down the street over here.
And wouldn't it be neat to walk up to him and say hello?

(16:14):
But I didn't do that.
But I remember it's still bothering me.
It's like...
And questioning myself at least a little bit slightly like, but did I really play the game
if I only fulfilled the bare minimum of what it was requiring me to do?
It's like, oh, I don't like that I'm being made to feel this way.

(16:37):
I mean, I think it's neat that the opportunity is there to explore these other avenues.
But yeah, just that constant wrestling with the compulsive side of my nature.
It's like, but, but, but no, no, the story just stick to the plan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you get what I'm saying.
Oh yeah.

(16:57):
I'm picking up what you're throwing down.
Hey, what were we talking about?
Oh yeah, the great illustrated classics.
So if you know the great illustrated...
Yeah, you thought that was over, but it's not.
It's coming back.
Just like the classics.
They can never die.
Future Jose is going to be listening to this podcast like, oh, why didn't I move on from

(17:17):
this by now?
I got to take a break.
Well, the reason I didn't move on from this yet, Eric, is because I never got to the point
that I was initially going to make with these in that if you don't know what Fright Time
is, you may know the great illustrated classics.
Those are the same people.
And even though regrettably, the Fright Time books did not include interior illustrations,

(17:43):
the cover illustrations are practically the same.
So if you can conjure that image of the great illustrated classics, the title in that big,
bold red font and get the general feeling, the general taste of the cover illustrations,

(18:04):
which to my mind, to my eyes, I think I mentioned this the first time we tried to record this
episode, it conjures a mood similar to me as like the Spanish artists that you saw so
much in like the 60s and 70s, like Warren magazines, you know, like San Julian, other

(18:31):
people who I can't think of right now, like Alfredo Alcala.
There's a bunch of others whose names I'm forgetting, but the look of the cover illustrations
always gave me that kind of a vibe, especially with the great illustrated classics.
The ones on the covers, the one, the covers of Fright Time, they give me more or less

(18:56):
the kind of similar vibe, but they put me a little bit in mind more and I'm showing
Eric the cover.
I don't know why they put me more in mind of like Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Three Investigators,
that kind of dusty antiquated looking artwork, even though these were published in the, this

(19:22):
was something I found annoying about Fright Time and I wonder if great illustrated classics
did this too.
The copyright year, yes, they did it here too in both series.
The copyright year, they wrote in Roman numerals and I hated that even as a kid.
It's like, tell me how old you are.

(19:43):
Don't be coy.
Don't make me pull out a book and try to decipher it.
But yeah, they wrote it in Roman numerals.
So it's what?
M, MCM.
MCM.
Oh, look, look at Mr. Roman numerals over here.
MCM, XCV.
I'm trying to remember what.
Okay.
Yeah, that makes sense.

(20:05):
Which basically boils down to- 1995.
1995, exactly.
95, baby.
But yeah, the covers of these things, you know, it's funny that they would write it
in Roman numerals, which, you know, is itself extremely antiquated way of telling somebody
at the time.

(20:27):
But it's funny that they would do that because the covers themselves do look much more antiquated
than their actual vintage.
You know, these were published in 95, this is three years after Goosebum started hitting
the shelves, which is in all likelihood why this series got started in the first place,

(20:48):
as did so many others at the time.
I was going somewhere and then it just kind of faltered out.
So I'm going to whoop, whoop, whoop.
Good.
Pick up a thread here.
Do you have something to say while I falter and stutter?
No.
I mean, sure.
Yeah, I think they're kind of like Nancy Drew meets EC Comics kind of.

(21:12):
Yeah.
They feel a lot less.
I don't mean to compare every single thing we read to Goosebumps, but they do feel like
a more dangerous version of a Goosebumps cover with like walking corpses.
And if anybody's ever seen that cover online, I feel like this is kind of the standard cover

(21:32):
that gets passed around when people are making like, I don't know, like mock covers for children's
horror books where there's two kids ice skating and then there's like a skeleton crashing
up through the ice.
That is from Fright Time.
That's number 10.
Really?
There's mock horror covers going on appropriating that setup or that artwork?

(21:59):
I feel like I've seen that several times is like somebody will make up like a dumb title
for a kid's horror book and then they'll like paste it over that cover.
So kind of like a paperback paradise thing.
Yeah, I could see that for sure.
Yeah, it's funny because like, especially in the earlier books from the series, they

(22:23):
went up to, I think this is the last one here, number 18 with this scary twister on the cover.
Of scary French tornado.
It is a scary French tornado.

(22:44):
I'll get you and your little dog too.
It's like the face of Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast.
After he turns back into a human, he's like, oh no, as it turns out, I just got turned
into a tornado.

(23:06):
Didn't see that coming.
I think I like the candlestick better.
Oh, sounded a little Russian there towards the end.
That's fun.
Oh, sorry, not Lumiere.
I was thinking of this Cogsworth.
Dog on it.
Now the whole French joke doesn't really work.
Well, I mean, what was Cogsworth's deal anyway?

(23:27):
He was in France.
He was supposed to be French like everybody else.
Same for Mrs. Potts, those British immigrants, soleying the ethnic purity of Beauty and the
Beast.
Keep going.
Yeah, keep going.
This won't lead anywhere.

(23:48):
This hole's feeling great.
But one thing I do love about-
I guess it's okay to say that it takes away some of the more terrible connotations if
you're talking about British blood tainting or ethnic purity as opposed to what people

(24:09):
actually talk about in eugenics.
Yeah, that's what I was hoping for.
It's like, oh, flipping the script.
How do you like about that?
I just Hamiltoned this deal.
Yeah, I know.
Drop in the-
Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap.
That's all I know about Hamilton.

(24:30):
It's a hip hop thing.
Yeah, that was a great-
The end.
Yeah, great job quoting the lyrics.
Anywho, one thing I do love about the early covers of Fright Time is the preponderance
of all the sweaters.
She's wearing a sweater in true Nancy Drew, three investigators fashion.

(24:52):
It's always chilly outside.
That plus the, like we said, the antiquated throwback Spanish influence art style, it
makes the series seem much older than it really is even at the time of its inception, which

(25:14):
is a fun thing to do if you're in the market for that kind of thing.
But as Eric said, oh, they also seem kind of reminiscent of EC Comics.
That comes down to in part the fact that the title of the series, Fright Time, is in this
gloriously drippy, bloody font.

(25:34):
The way that they denote which entry number it is in the series, it's got that neat little
sticker I like to call it that says, oh, this is number three, this is number seven, this
is number 18.
And then something that separated these from most of the quote unquote goose bump ripoff

(25:57):
copycat series that proliferated in the 90s and on, it includes three stories.
That's what I'm getting at.
That's the nice succinct way to say the thing that I mean.
But it has three stories in it as opposed to just one.
What I discovered with the one that I read is that every story is by a different author,

(26:17):
which I did not realize going into it.
And that is very different from even some more recent-ish series that you might have
seen.
There's this one from Scholastic that came out.
When were you published?
This came out in...

(26:38):
Welcome listeners for this really exciting airtime.
Yes.
Text copyright 2006, the series called The Midnight Library.
MMVI.
Yes.
MMVI.
Oh, special thanks to Alan Freewin Jones.

(26:59):
So I wonder if that's a little nod.
That's a little nod because...
Oh, hang on.
Yes, it says right there.
Look at that.
We're never going to talk about the actual stories.
No, we're not.
Hey, look, rabbit holes aplenty.
But The Midnight Library, quote unquote by Damien Graves from 2006, but in actuality,

(27:20):
it's by somebody named Alan Freewin Jones.
But guess what?
They wrote all three stories that are included in this compendium.
So yes, just another way in which FriTime is different from other series like it.
That was my point.
I just cut off my back.
Unique, you might say.
Do you know how you catch a unique deer, Jose?

(27:41):
How do you catch a unique deer?
Or hunted, I guess.
I don't know what the official joke is.
Okay.
How?
Unique up on it.
Oh my God, that's terrible.
With that palate cleanser, do you want to talk about the actual stories in the book?

(28:03):
Because I guess I might as well.
Well, when I say red, I mean, yeah, red.
Remember a year ago, a year plus reading at some point.
Number one, I started where it all started with number one, FriTime.
And you know, something about this series and the great illustrated classics is that

(28:25):
Eric said he was not familiar with these as a kid.
He never saw them.
Did you go to like where you grew up?
Did you have the equivalent of Dollar Tree, Dollar General?
I assume so.
Did you never go to them?

(28:47):
I may have.
I don't know that I catalogued it in my brain as being a really exciting, formative moment
in my childhood.
I mean, I didn't necessarily catalog it.
Well, let's be honest.
You know what I was thinking about recently?
So back when I worked for the post office for a while as a mail carrier, and I used
to deliver to a carpet store.

(29:10):
And going in there, like the smell and like the booklets where you can page through and
like feel the carpet samples and stuff, that was a weirdly nostalgic memory for me.
So I don't mean to shit all over your excitement for Dollar Tree because I'm not saying I was
any better.
Yeah, we all have our thing, right?

(29:31):
Mine was Dollar Tree, Dollar General.
Eric's was well, it was definitely Dollar Tree for me.
I feel like we frequented more as a family than Dollar General because we want things
that are for an actual dollar, not just things that are generally for a dollar.
What kind of bullcrap is that?
But yeah, these things were always in the Dollar Tree.

(29:56):
These Fry Time books and the great illustrated classics, you know, they'd keep them right
around where they kept the sticker books and the coloring books.
So I saw these all the time.
I can't remember if I ever actually bought them from the Dollar Tree.
But man, oh man, I ended up with a pretty good amount of them somehow.
So it was either that or, you know, my grandfather worked for Goodwill for a stretch of time

(30:21):
and he was just always on the hunt for any books that he thought I would like.
So I feel like I ended up with a fair amount of, yeah, yeah, it was.
I ended up with a fair amount of Fry Time books.
So how much did these?
Through those means.
How much did they cost at Dollar Tree?
Well, here's the thing, the cover price on this bad boy here says $7.95, which I guess

(30:48):
would be accurate.
I don't know.
I feel like I got them for way less and by way less, I mean, probably free most of the
time.
But yeah, that's the deal.
Well, yeah, $7.95 stands out to me because like the Goosebumps books that still have
the price on the cover say, you know, $3.99 or whatever.

(31:11):
So it's like, I guess they're compensating for the fact that like, even though this is
generally the same amount of pages, it's three separate stories, or sorry, three spine-tingling
tales.
Ooh, yes, just what it says.
Three spine-tingling tales for young readers.
Three complete stories of haunting and horror.

(31:32):
Is that what it says on the back of all of them?
Yes.
Creepy.
What else do you got back here?
Look for more fright time stories of heart-pounding, spine-tingling terror and suspense.
You can't say spine-tingling twice.
I know, right?
Just the verbiage alone, you know, heart-pounding, spine-tingling terror and suspense.

(31:55):
It's like, baronet books, you were clearly in the market initially for, you know, literary
classics.
Just the language that they use.
Like, this is not the, you know, read-a-beware, you're in for a scare kind of, you know, crass,
glossy mid-90s marketing that you would expect from the big houses.

(32:21):
This is like, these are like old fogies playing at the, ooh, we're gonna sell a creepy series
for kids.
Well, we're gonna sell them heart-pounding, spine-tingling terror and suspense.
You know, it's like, you can practically hear the, you know, 60s era horror movie trailer

(32:44):
announcer.
If you suffer from weak constitutions, do not read this book.
It's like, that's baronet books trying to be goose bumps.
Very true.
Oh, God.
But anyway, yes, number one is what I read.
And this one, the three stories we have, the order in which they appear in the book is

(33:09):
not the same as what you see on the cover.
Madman on Main Street, that is the first story.
The second story in the book is called It's Almost Dark.
And the last story is called Scary Harry.
Scary Harry.
Whoa.

(33:30):
Whoa.
So, I'll start with the most boring one.
And thankfully, for those of you out there who may also be a little bit compulsive, this
will satisfy you.
The most boring one in the book is the first one, which is not to say that it's-
Hooray.
Yeah.
Getting it out of the way, both on an interest basis and a sequential basis.

(33:53):
Which is not to say that it's not fairly well-written, because it is.
It's actually kind of cute.
I'd say it's like a half and half deal where it's like, it's well-written.
A lot of the details are vanilla.
Like, I mean, it starts off first-person narrator.
I, Michael Dane, age 12, am not the world's best student.

(34:17):
I'm not even Centerville Junior High's best student.
I feel like this is something- I'm sure there were other series across other publishers
that did this same annoying thing.
But I don't know.
Something sticks in my mind as this being a particularly baronet books, fright time thing

(34:40):
that I saw again and again throughout these stories.
It's that annoying thing.
It's like, hmm, we need a fictional name for a vaguely Midwestern town in the continental
USA.
How about Centerville?
How about Boring Town?

(35:01):
How about just these super lame, super non-specific names for towns?
I don't know.
That's, I guess, a dumb thing to get annoyed about.
But it always like- even as a kid, I'm like, what?
Centerville.
Centerville.
Place Town.
The city of Townsville.

(35:23):
Yeah, exactly.
Yep.
North Place.
I do always like- I guess it's like Pick Your Poison.

(35:45):
I've seen this in both books and movies.
I do like- it's not exactly the opposite of it.
It's the same idea, but in a more gothic register.
I do, however, am such a sucker for really thunderingly gothic names for towns and stories

(36:08):
like this, where it's like Shadow Oaks or Ghostly Glen.
Nothing quite as bad as that, but things that are super gothic, super autumnal.
I'm a sucker for those things.

(36:30):
The kids are always like, oh god, we moved to a place called Undertaker Corners.
I can't imagine what could possibly happen in a place called Undertaker Corners.
It's like, zombies.
It's like, well, that's a little on the nose, but you know what?
I still like it.

(36:51):
But anyway, Michael Dane, so he's- yes, you agree.
Do you have a favorite or made up on the spot name for an overly gothic town?
No.
Oh, okay.
I thought you might have one in your pocket.

(37:12):
They're always fun.
But anyway, we'll get back to you.
I'll give you time to think about it.
It'll still be like my Bailey School Kids title.
Yeah, I was going to say.
Yeah, I was sprung it on you.
So Michael in the story has a newspaper route that he- he may not be the best student, but

(37:35):
boy, he really sticks to his paper route.
And guess what?
There's a madman on Main Street.
His name is Abner Hilkes.
I could go and look in the book, but it doesn't really matter.
His name is Abner.
That's all you need to know.
Just like Arnold's pig.
Abner Hilkes who disappears and reappears around a, you know, the creepy old house on the block.

(38:03):
And as it turns out, Abner is like a wizard, but it's really cute.
They just refer to him as a madman throughout the story.
Even like when his sorcerous powers are made evident, they're like, oh yeah, that madman
is like, that's kind of charming and quaint.

(38:23):
And I like that.
His plot that he's trying to enlist or blackmail or yeah, I guess enlist because his plot involves
blackmail enlist Michael's aid.
He uses his black magic powers to allow Michael, I almost said Mark, Michael's grades in school

(38:47):
to excel, even though Michael hasn't actually studied for the test or he doesn't know the
answer to the question.
He's somehow able to go up to the board and write out the problem beautifully.
And oh, the next thing you know, he's the academic darling of Centerville junior high.
Well, it's all Abner's doing.
And his plan is to use Michael because you see Michael being a newspaper delivery boy

(39:16):
has access to the newspaper offices.
And what is in the newspaper offices, you ask the names and addresses of some very prominent
and vital people in town.
And once Abner has these names and addresses, he will then be able to blackmail those people.

(39:39):
And then by extension, take over Centerville, I guess.
These details are all coming back to me from the first episode that we did.
Yeah.
It's all coming back.
It's all come.
So yeah, what do you think of all of that?
Oh, I love that there's a guy who has who can do actual magic and he still just wants

(40:04):
to like use that as a mechanism to blackmail influential people of Centerville.
The magic is just a means to an end, Eric, just to make himself reappear and disappear
and creep this little boy out so that he will be influenced into basically holding the door

(40:26):
open for him so that he can waltz into the newspaper offices.
And even though he has all these spells and incantations at his disposal, he's just going
to walk over to that filing cabinet and go, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, let's see.
So that's the that's the gist of it.

(40:48):
Abner, I don't think he necessarily abducts Michael and Michael's annoying female neighbor,
Kara.
I don't think he abducts them.
I think the kids like try to break into the house to try to stop him or, you know, find
out some I don't know.
You know, like we said, sweaters, Nancy Drew, the kids are investigating and poking around

(41:14):
where they shouldn't be.
So we're just rolling with that ball.
So they end up in the house.
Abner catches them and brings them down to the basement and, oh, no, all is looking terrible
for our heroes.
How are they going to get themselves out of this?
Well, Michael's hunky dory friend whose name I forgot, let's just call him Scott.

(41:38):
He breaks into the basement at the last minute and he doesn't really have a plan himself.
But the thing about Scott is that he loves much like Kel from Keenan and Kel, he loves
orange soda and he always has a bottle handy.
And wouldn't you know it, during the Malay, the open bottle of orange soda splashes on

(42:02):
Abner and Abner melts.
He actually says my skin is on fire, F dash I dash R E fire.
And he melts down to a puddle of goo.
And that's the last that anybody heard from the madman on Main Street.

(42:24):
Sorry.
And that was from getting orange soda spilled on him.
Orange soda.
Is that a commentary on like, like when you do that experiment where you put a tooth in
Coca Cola or whatever and watch it dissolve.
Is this like a covert like message about how bad soda is for you as a kid?

(42:45):
It was bought to you by the American Dental Association.
Exactly.
It was an anti-soda message all along.
I feel like Ralphie, a crummy commercial.
Hey, Jose.
Hey, what's up?
Guess what?
Do you want to know how many Centervilles there are in the United States?

(43:08):
How many Centervilles are there and are they all spelled the same way?
They are all spelled the same way.
And there's 38 of them.
38.
And so who am I?
This caught my eye just because I'm from Illinois.
Eight of them, a full eight of them are in Illinois.

(43:29):
Is that the highest gathering of any Centerville per se?
I didn't look into it that much.
There's a few in Kentucky.
It might be actually, yeah.
There's four in Wisconsin, three Kentucky.
Yeah, they're all in Illinois, which is, I mean, I guess that is the Midwest.

(43:49):
So why not?
Yeah.
Isn't that where the Simpsons takes place?
Isn't it?
No, that's spring.
Oh, I don't think that's.
It's like cannon.
Yeah, it's not.
But I think we all know kind of like we were saying about, hey, Arnold, it's like it's
New York.
Don't pussyfoot around it.

(44:15):
I didn't have anything else to say about it.
Okay, cool.
Let's see.
Autoerotic Asphyxiation, New Mexico.
That's my town name for the place you don't want to move to.
Well, boy, we sure got this house cheap.

(44:37):
Look at all this closet space.
Huh.
I wonder why there's a belt hanging in every single one of these closets.
Oh, well, let's not dwell on that.
Property value is so cheap here.
Yeah, I think that one snuck up on me because I didn't know what you were saying at first.

(45:00):
And then it had time to settle in.
And I just got the full force of it right at the end there.
Wow.
Just like autoerotic asphyxiation.
And I think I was also expecting.
I think I was expecting something like more spooky.
I was not.
I didn't know that was the path we were going down.

(45:21):
So I was caught unawares even more than I would have been.
Wow.
All right.
Well, yeah.
So that's Mad Men on Main Street.
And like I said, it is actually written fairly well.
The author, Elaine A. Kuhl.
Very Kuhl story.

(45:42):
Like Michael has a very charming voice.
And I collected some quotes from these stories when I initially reviewed the book.
So yeah, isn't it?
So like Michael talking about his neighbor, Kara, he says, she's this 11 year old and
a bit of a know it all.

(46:03):
I'm sure you know the type.
They're everywhere.
Very annoying.
And then there's like this nice deadpan moment where mom's voice rang out.
Michael, Kara's here to see you.
I heard a groan.
It came from me.

(46:26):
Which is almost kind of like this like Eeyore droopy kind of attitude about it.
But then they're going down to the basement.
So Abner, it says, he let us down a narrow flight of stairs.
I took Kara's hand.

(46:47):
It was the least I could do.
Poor kid.
What a way to go.
I don't know.
He just reminds me of like your slightly sarcastic nephew.
And by your I mean like the universal you like that slightly sarcastic nephew that we
all have.
Like that's the energy he's giving off.

(47:07):
Like the kid who's not necessarily like Jonathan Lipnicki levels of precocious but you know
he knows enough to like be able to joke with adults but not in like an overly saccharine
or annoying way.

(47:27):
That's the vibe I get from Michael and I appreciate that.
I think he's a good egg despite his iffy grades.
All right we stand to Michael.
Yep we stand with Michael.
So that's Mam Man on Main Street.
The second story.
It's almost dark.

(47:48):
Boy oh boy.
Where can I start?
How about this?
This is gonna sound like a tangent because it is.
Have you ever read Goblins in the Castle by Bruce Coville?
Why of course I have.
Of course you have.
I am just in the middle of reading it now for the first time.

(48:09):
It's part of a series isn't it?
It's the first in the series.
I think eventually he wrote a sequel but at the time that I was young enough to read his
books it was not in existence yet.
Yeah I had this thought of it being a standalone for the longest time but yeah somewhere along
the line I picked up on oh there's another one that sounds like or possibly more.

(48:33):
So this has been turned into a series now but yeah it was one of those books that I
always saw.
You know that cover by Tim Hillebrandt I think it's the artist's name.
I always saw that yellow cover hanging around and it was almost creepy enough to entice

(48:53):
me to read it but like I said in previous episodes I was just such a lame die-hard
horror kid that you know it's like ah goblins it's kind of like a fantasy thing.
I think I'll pass and I did but I'm hoping to correct that ill from years past but anyway

(49:14):
the reason I bring that up is because this next story has goblins in it as well.
I think they may be referred to as trolls so I'll have to verify that.
But goblins in the castle this is not.
Oh so there's your connection.

(49:35):
There's your connection.
That's a good blurb for the cover.
Yes goblins in the castle this is not.
So that'd be funny if I'm imagining a book where the reviews are so terrible that the
blurb that they pull out for the cover is like well this is still negative but it's
not as hateful as the rest of the reviews.

(49:56):
And it's in a way likening it to a good book.
If you love goblins in the castle this will vaguely remind you of it.
I feel like I actually came across I think on social media oh yeah yeah yeah it was I

(50:19):
think it was one of the paperbacks from hell reprints which reproduce a quote from Stephen
King for it.
I want to say it was the abyss by Jear Cunningham.
Well yeah naturally.
I'll feel slightly stupid if I'm if I got the details of the author of the title wrong

(50:42):
but I feel like it's the one that's just coming out now.
The abyss by Jear Cunningham.
And I feel like it reproduced a quote from Stephen King that said that either Cunningham
as an author or the book in particular but I think it's the author he said Cunningham

(51:04):
comes close to being great.
And that's the that's the quote that's on the front of the book.
It's like damn it it's from Stephen King we're putting it on.
Feels like damning with faint praise.
Exactly comes close close to being great.
It's like well almost worth reading.

(51:27):
Precisely.
It's like well that'll move some copies it'll move a lot more than if we didn't print anything
at all.
So it's like well I guess once you get to that point in the publishing world you have
to start making those kinds of decisions.
Anyway It's Almost Dark deals with one of my favorite tropes.

(51:50):
I would say definitely one of my favorite tropes as a kid.
I always loved this kind of thing and I feel like I've mentioned it before but I loved
stories that dealt with characters either entering a fictional world or characters from
a fictional world entering the quote unquote real world of you know the story proper.

(52:13):
I just always love stories like that.
This is one of them.
Not a story that I love but this is a story that does that thing and it goes about it
and kind of you know a hanky way.
So there's our main character whose name is Ben.

(52:33):
Ben his best friend is Spencer Spencer Caddison and the Caddisons are a bit of an eccentric
family mom reads tarot cards and gives fortunes.
She's I wrote in my review that she's a Morticia Adams type.
I can't remember if they actually make that illusion in the text proper or if they just

(52:56):
say she wears long black dresses and you know has long black hair and I just equated that
with Morticia Adams but she's like a spooky ookie lady who reads fortunes and then Mr.
Caddison Mr. K is a children's writer and illustrator and all of his books kind of tend
towards the fearsome you know he's kind of like you know what's the good.

(53:21):
You could say he's like a maybe a doll as in Roel doll or maybe even a Chris Van Alsberg
his books could get kind of creepy but he's working on his latest project and here we
have a quote from Ben who is studying what Mr. K is working on.

(53:44):
So Ben says he'd been drawing these gnome like wrinkled little squinty guys with pointed
ears and dried leaves and damp looking moss that clung to their bodies like messy little
caveman suits.
Count the adjectives in that one sentence alone.
Let's make a drinking game out of it.

(54:06):
These creepy creatures gave off steam when they moved.
They had matted awful looking hair and scowly faces too.
So that's the initial description and oh boy we're getting into Eric's favorite territory
here because guess what dear listener these gnomes these goblins these trolls whatever

(54:29):
you want to call them.
They boogers or something.
Oh no they smell.
They stink and that just makes them even more horrifying Eric.
Don't you see.
So yes they they stink.
So the thing about this story and Freight Time I'm going to read a line from my review

(54:55):
because that's the guy I am.
A description that I use to kind of encapsulate the way the story is told in Spencer's voice
as Jane Ehlers is the author as she writes it.
It has like this energy of a breathless kid at a sleepover like the one who really wants

(55:18):
to tell a ghost story but everybody else is already gone and everybody's sleeping but
he's just going to sit there and he's going to tell the story anyway because it's really
cool and it really happened to him and happened to his uncle over the summer and the cabin
that he went to one time where he lost his retainer.
But anyway that's not what happened in the ghost story.
What happened in the ghost story is that my uncle when he was a kid like my age like that's

(55:38):
the energy.
That's the narrative voice of this story and it is breakneck and I mean it's in fitting
with the goings on because Ben sleeps over Spencer's house.

(55:59):
I'm forgetting these kids names already.
And that was a fun quote in of itself how the sleepover came about.
Here we go.
It says Mr. K came in.
Listen guys he said Ben how about a sleepover this weekend?
Spence your mom and I would like to go to a movie or whatever while you guys watch Shannon

(56:19):
for a few hours Saturday night.
What do you say?
So just to clarify Shannon is Spencer's baby sister but I love just the way Mr. K poses
this question to these kids.
In particular his son where he's like Spence your mom and I would like to go to a movie

(56:41):
or whatever while you guys watch Shannon for a few hours Saturday night.
So it's like hey you can hey Ben what do you think about a sleepover this weekend and oh
by the way you're going to be babysitters and your mom and I don't know we're going
to go see a movie or whatever.
I don't even know we're just getting out of this house.

(57:05):
If I have to look at you for another five minutes I'm going to slit my own throat kid.
Anywhere it takes to get me out of here.
So does this turn into like a gender swap labyrinth or something?
Does Shannon get kidnaped?
Kind of sort of yeah kind of sort of because at first I'm trying to remember in the story

(57:27):
at first the goblins just invade the house.
I can't remember do they take Shannon?
They do take Shannon at some point but there's like a switcheroo of sorts I can't remember.
I think they take Shannon first because no shit I don't remember.

(57:49):
They end up with a goblin baby so it's like I don't think it was like something that the
goblins calculated.
I think it was just like a general mishap that they ended the boys ended up with a goblin
baby and then they either took Shannon as revenge.
I feel like that's what happened because where it goes from there after you know Ben and

(58:14):
Spencer stalking through the darkened hallways that night at the sleepover the goblins are
you know tittering and tattering all over the house and I think you know Ben's carrying
the you know the hockey stick trying to fend off any gob any smelly goblins that come his
way oh god and they leave slime everywhere they're just the worst.

(58:39):
You know they end up with a goblin baby Shannon gets stolen and so the boys actually hop into
the family Jeep which is still at the house presumably the parents didn't take it with
them on their date night I don't know but there's a car in the garage that they actually
try to drive to the goblins kingdom I don't know what they were thinking but they crash

(59:04):
it into a tree and then the goblins end up snatching them and taking them you know to
their little underground kingdom which is like it's you know through the hollowed out
trunk of a tree and so I didn't explain it exactly I just alluded to the fact that oh

(59:27):
this is a story of fictional creatures coming to life it has something to do with Mr. K's
newfangled scanner slash printer it's state of the art and oh the quality comes out so
great when you print out the pictures and I don't think there's even anything half as
hacky as like a thunderstorm that takes place during the story it's just that this thing

(59:49):
is just I guess so experimental or so super powered that it starts printing out these
creatures in three dimensions I don't know I don't know don't ask me it doesn't know
if I love that or hate it well see that's what I mean as a kid I would have been all

(01:00:12):
over that because you know that that explanation would have totally sufficed for me it's like
fine absolutely whatever whatever it takes to get these you know goopy gory smelly monsters
into this into these kids' house and terrorizing them whatever I'm there for it in fact speaking

(01:00:34):
of goopy there's a line as Ben is trying to find his way around the darkened house he
says I groped through the hall trying to find Spencer's room feeling along the wall I felt
slimy stuff which is just ambiguous enough to be troubling yeah and also just dumb in

(01:00:56):
of itself and I feel like well there's there was another line oh god there were so many
good lines in this story I swear to god oh yeah here's here's one about one of Mr. K's
illustrations Mr. K's picture it was a face that goblin and like I said just the ellipses

(01:01:19):
in this story the exclamation points it just goes with that breathless kid breakneck pace
it's just also it's so rich it was a face dot dot dot that goblin it was that goblin
Mr. K had drawn that day I got spooked and it was talking that goblin face was talking

(01:01:40):
to us it's almost dark it muttered in a low growly voice sneering at us slobbering too
it was so gross like I both like you said I both love and hate how this story is being

(01:02:01):
told because it feels patronizing to a point but at the same time this feels completely
legitimately how an 8 to 12 year old boy would be relating these events to us if you like
gave him a tape recorder like this is how this is how Ben would be telling this story

(01:02:23):
so I think that's why I also love it but there's some choice metaphors in here in my review
I said there's a lot of that kind of thing and it's almost dark Ben reminding us how
revolting the goblins are and how quote whacked out with fear and quote he is and if you weren't

(01:02:43):
convinced that Ben was really terrified consider this powerful metaphor when he says he felt
quote as if I'd gulp down a golf ball of horror and quote oh my god so yeah there's a lot
of that going on let's see do I have any more quotes there's a lot more quotes about some

(01:03:10):
other characters that come into play in just a little bit but let me finish up with the
rest of these yeah this is the one I was looking for Ben says at one point yes I was definitely
smelling goblin again which is like the kid friendly version I was just saying this to

(01:03:34):
my wife the other day of like you know those hacky lines that crop up in movies every now
and then one of my favorites is when characters are hurtling towards something or something
is hurtling towards them and one of them in that moment of apparent fear can't help but

(01:03:54):
let out a oh shi- and then it just you know comes to an end as they crash into it or just
barely miss it I love that so much it brings me so much joy that feels like the kid friendly
version of that like yes I was definitely smelling goblin again here we go let's see

(01:04:19):
oh and if you thought if did you like that golf ball of horror by the way I did you like
that hey yes I wish I could marry it I like it so much well guess what later in the story
Ben says I swallowed my usual ball of fear oh so this is like maybe a literal thing for

(01:04:43):
him yeah he just has one condition he suffers from yeah yep time to choke down the whole
ball of fear again yeah in one of my stories this is a moment I don't want to get too far
ahead but in one of my stories there were several repeated lines and I couldn't tell

(01:05:03):
if they were being repeated as callbacks or if the author just forgot that they already
use this turn of phrase you know what I mean oh boy yeah now I could definitely see that
I wonder if it might have been Jane Ehlers again we'll have to keep that as a surprise
for later maybe she's she just like to really she just really likes to drive it home so

(01:05:26):
this happens during after Ben has been brought down through the the hollow tree trunk to
the Goblins kingdom he's in like a cage and the Goblins are just like taunting him and
ribbing him so Ben says I was flooded with relief saved someone was coming through the
opening yes this nightmare is officially over and I feel like I have to stop here to clarify

(01:05:53):
that what I'm about to say is part of the same paragraph this is not like there's no
break in any of this so I'm gonna preface it by saying that and I'm gonna go back and
reread it so that you can get the full effect but what I just read there is no break between
that and what comes next so listen again I was flooded with relief saved someone was

(01:06:18):
coming through the opening yes this nightmare is officially over no not yet real stream
of consciousness truly and no not yet has no context whatsoever like what do you mean
no not yet you were just saying how you were being saved and he just goes from the nightmare

(01:06:39):
is officially over to no not yet are you telling me or are you telling yourself like you said
is a stream of consciousness like what you just feel like the rug being pulled right
out from under you and so he's saved by Spencer I believe and he says this to describe the

(01:07:01):
manner in which he's rescued by his best friend he held on to me with a grip that was stronger
than any dads I know of I guess you don't have much else to compare it to when you're
that age wow you're as strong as a dad with the strength of ten dads and this is what

(01:07:28):
I mean about this story it's like is this bad writing or is this the most truthful to
an eight to twelve year olds stream of consciousness that we have we have available like does it
does it feel bad because it's so unpolished and so unfettered and yet is that not the

(01:07:52):
truest form that the voice of the story could take so that's why I'm both in love with it
and just baffled by it at the same time I'm like what is like just the choices that are
being made it's like this just must have been taken verbatim from some kids ramblings because

(01:08:13):
for an adult to be able to write this way I think is a feat in of itself yeah so he
held on to me with a grip that was stronger than any dads I know of okay I promise we're
coming to the conclusion of it's almost dark here's a lot of 60 pages oh yeah and this
story ends on a doozy if you thought melting death by orange soda was a deus ex machina

(01:08:41):
moment from the first story the boys use mr. K's handy-dandy super fancy scanner printer
to reproduce another one of his characters and I'm gonna go back to see if I can okay

(01:09:02):
I'm gonna go back to the initial description of one of these characters to they do it to
wage battle against the goblins so we have a real march the women soldiers moment here
where the bogeymen have invaded toyland and then Laurel and Hardy not Abbott and Costello

(01:09:25):
we have a crying child the other character that mr. K is working on that the boys reproduce
via the magical printer is described initially as thus the head warrior was an awesome combination
of a Viking a knight in armor and a cop who time travels by computer through cyberspace

(01:09:47):
you know the information superhighway he has everything monster head gear with a night
vision visor geographical scanning grid a sword made of some metal we haven't even discovered
yet a laser device to deter bad guys he can even launch fireballs from some kind of thing

(01:10:10):
built into his forearm he wears part armor part animal skin I didn't realize it then
but his name would stick with me for quite a while Tarks is that a not an anagram an
acronym or something oh you bet it is would you like to know what it is an anagram for

(01:10:36):
when I posted when I posted the review of this book on my old blog after that description
I included a picture of Ralphie from a Christmas story and I said and this little thing in
the stock that tells time because it's like oh look at all the cool stuff he has well
I was thinking as you described him like it sounds like we were talking on the Bailey

(01:11:01):
School Kids episodes about like fictional toys like we can't keep them on the shelves
this holiday season this sounds like one of those action figures like every cool thing
a little boy would want exactly Tarks would you like to know what Tarks stands for I'm
gonna guess that there's turbo robot turbo I don't know what the a would be turbo anachronistic

(01:11:32):
robot knight sentinel there we go there you go well here's the thing Tarks is actually
spelled T A R X oh dang it I was tricked yep yep there goes your there goes your blueprint

(01:11:56):
so Tarks T A R X stands for this technically advanced robotic exo titans that's a cheat
but okay yes it is it is such a cheat because if we're being literal it should have been

(01:12:18):
tear yeah but I guess that didn't sound cool enough I don't know if Tarks sounds that cool
Tarks sounds like you have to remember for history class like who was the group that
invaded you know Normandy in the 1300s the Tarks it was the Tarks well the Tarks are

(01:12:41):
definite it's hearkening back to another of our episodes where we talked about yeah hearkening
back to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ripoffs Tarks is definitely a RoboCop slash Terminator
ripoff oh definitely yeah which I feel like I'd be curious if there were just as many

(01:13:04):
proliferations as TMNT of those kinds of things I'm sure there were but hell if I can think
of any of them and totally random softball I'm gonna lob into the middle of this conversation
is to say that I was a big fan of the Terminator versus RoboCop video game I loved it what

(01:13:26):
now never finished it but I loved it I don't know there was a Terminator versus rope oh
yeah is it a fan me yeah no no it was for Super Nintendo excuse me I might have been
called RoboCop versus Terminator because you are RoboCop fighting all the Skynet cyborgs
huh yeah look it up on YouTube watch a playthrough I can't believe I've never heard of this yeah

(01:13:51):
it's got those chunky graphics that I that I love so much from Super Nintendo games yeah
for sure okay well I was sagging on this story but I think I my interest is is reinvigorated
I like so they we talked a lot on this show about like revisiting stuff from that era
and being like you know like stuff that you just took for granted at the time because

(01:14:14):
you know you didn't look at it as the 90s well I guess some characters in the movies
were like it's the 90s but like you just kind of think of the time you live in is the time
you live in and it's only in retrospect that you can look but I feel like yeah that idea
of like pitting some kind of like modern military mechanical Marvel against like classical monsters

(01:14:37):
I feel like there was a lot of that type of stuff floating around yeah you know it also
gives me a bit of a sensation of small soldiers yeah that's what I was thinking of because
I just rewatched that like I don't know two weeks ago it's not great yeah that was probably
not but it was it was a bit pivotal for me I just remember that I think I watched that

(01:15:04):
for the first time at that fateful sleepover at my friend John's house we broke up with
him yeah the the morning after it's like we watch small soldiers in your house John this
cannot stand I can't be your friend anymore I've seen too much but any who so yes Ben

(01:15:27):
and Spence or I was gonna say revive or resurrect but that's not really the right term but
they bring the Tarks to life because it's not just one I guess they make extra copies
so they have a nice little militia of these heavily heavy artillery cyborgs to come and

(01:15:53):
save them from the goblins like I said it's a real march of the wind soldier situation
and so I'm looking up the passages that I reproduced from this moment so the the Tarks
is lay siege and I do not use this term lightly they lay siege on the goblin horde like if

(01:16:18):
you thought based on the description that I just read from the book like they have all
this heavy artillery but you know this is a kid's story there you know they're just
gonna find they're gonna do like lame stuff with it like that thing that shoots out fireballs
he's gonna like use it to cut a branch down from a tree and it's gonna topple on the goblins

(01:16:40):
and they're gonna go you know they're just it's gonna be a total cop-out oh no oh no
gentle listener gentle reader Jane Ehlers has your back or you know the kid that she
got this you know hypnosis induced fever dream from has your back as well they rain literal

(01:17:12):
flaming death on these goblins and it must be read to be believed so here's here's a
bit of a passage this may be like the brunt of it but I feel like it goes on for a little
bit longer but here's what I reproduce it said the goblins were melting and shrieking
their eyes were dash dash and this freaked me out dash dash dissolving and pouring out

(01:17:39):
of their faces they were coming at us holding their dripping steaming arms out in front
of them like the worst monster movie that ever kept you awake after you saw it the smell
was unbelievable and their big rat's teeth suddenly they were dropping onto the ground

(01:18:00):
I'm glad the smelly things got even smellier yeah just when you thought they couldn't but
that is the end of the goblins and this is your favorite story in the book that this
is I don't know which I think that's a good segue to the next story because I think the

(01:18:25):
next story the last story in the book is the most successful in that it's a clearly authored
piece that has that that definitely has like weirdness running through it but it feels
a bit more I guess well handled is just the easiest way to put it it's it's not so like

(01:18:56):
it's not so sugared up like it's almost dark is where it just feels like it's about to
collapse from the this the speed of its own delivery and just like melt into a into a
puddle because it's just taking everything at 60 miles per hour scary hairy feel I feel

(01:19:18):
like it's and it's more satisfying as a as a horror story because I think it's genuinely
creepy and unsettling in parts and in ways that it's almost dark is just like you know
very crass and you know super shock value scary hairy is is is the thinking kids horror

(01:19:42):
story let's say let's get in so I guess yeah that's just as good as any of an introduction
so scary hairy can really be boiled down to the log line that let me see if I can at least
get these kids names right Jesse notices that his older brother hairy is going through some

(01:20:03):
drastic emotional and physical changes and lo and behold it just seems like that his
older brother is turning into a monkey or some kind of weird primate that's basically
it but like I said there are just these weird little incidental tangents that are running

(01:20:30):
through it that seem like they might have something to do with the story but not really
like for instance I included a detail in my review here that there are these illusions
made to an eccentric uncle Barnaby hey speaking of babes in toyland there's illusions to a

(01:20:50):
crazy uncle Barnaby who sends the boys strange trinkets from his globe trotting exploits
and I can't honestly remember if that really like figures into the events in any direct
way like I don't think it's like oh uncle Barnaby sent hairy a cursed object and now

(01:21:10):
it's turning him into a monkey or yeah I don't think it's a direct a to b if my memory is
is good I don't think it's a direct a to b thing like that it's just like you know set
dressing but it gives it gives you know the the family dynamic and just the story itself

(01:21:34):
like an interesting flavor like oh there's kind of other weird things happening in other
parts of this family that aren't immediately what's in front of us so I thought that was
kind of interesting and I'm sure that I can plug in my laptop good thing you're talking

(01:21:54):
while you pause because you know what why I give the floor to me to say any thoughts
that I might have as you find a natural pausing point do you have any thoughts at this point
Eric no not really well I was gonna ask is it scary hairy like Prince Harry or hairy
like a hairy chimp like Prince Harry okay I was imagining it was a j I R Y carry on

(01:22:27):
or or scary hairy on any who any who so yeah there there are weird details like that there's
also a truly like I don't want to oversell it in that way that people online tend to
with these things but you know it really does kind of catch you off guard when you're going

(01:22:50):
into this like as we've said this kind of hoary dusty looking goosebumps knockoff you're
like oh whatever baronet books you know give me your worst but there's a dream sequence
and the dream itself is pretty off-putting in a way that kids dreams and these types

(01:23:15):
of stories are not usually handled I'm just seeing if I couldn't find it so this is Jesse
who's having this dream and it says is takes place in like the middle of a jungle so it
says suddenly all the birds started cackling at once and flapping their wings then the biggest

(01:23:37):
of the flock bent over coughing I thought for a minute that he was going to throw up
but he heaved and heaved and coughed up a fur ball the size of my fist no it wasn't a fur
ball at all it was a head a shrunken head I reached over to pick it up and it rolled

(01:23:58):
away opening its little mouth and laughing so loud the cackling birds fell silent so
yeah there's some pretty good stuff like that in there weird uncanny yeah kind of weird
but then it does get balanced out there's not as much goofy stuff like there is and

(01:24:23):
it's almost dark but we do get occasional lines like this or um or jesse's in the kitchen
I was in the kitchen drinking some gorilla milk that's what we call chocolate milk when
Harry walked in carrying a grocery sack in the bag were about 10 pounds of bananas I
didn't think anything of it then it's like there's a couple things to unpack here yeah

(01:24:51):
first of all I'm not sure that I love whatever reasons you have for calling the chocolate
milk gorilla milk I'm sure there's a fairly innocent story behind that but I'm also not
so sure that there's a fairly innocent story behind that it doesn't sound appetizing so
how about we just stop yeah how about we just stop want some gorilla milk no no I don't

(01:25:17):
please don't stop calling it that stop offering it to me every five minutes um they're oh
and so I also like that the 10 pounds of bananas specific yes I'm hyper aware of these kinds
of specifics now ever since we read evil mirror I shattered the glass for you anytime somebody

(01:25:42):
starts talking in specific numbers uh so there's another episode in this story I can't remember
like how Jesse relates it to everything else that's going on if he relates it to everything
else that's going on but he recounts this time that he went to the zoo he's and and

(01:26:04):
he was looking at a gorilla in a cage and the gorilla was playing with like a baby doll
and you know true cocoa fashion so he says I stared at the gorilla for a long time but
just as I was about to leave he suddenly turned toward me and looked right into my eyes then

(01:26:25):
he ripped the doll's head off and threw it at me two days later I read in the paper that
that that that ape had killed one of the other apes and just it's like whoa Jesus that's
it it's like an eerie moment that seems um you know real it's not just you know a shrunken

(01:26:48):
head rolling away and laughing that's kind of surreal um but here with this one it's
like that seems like something that could have you know truly happened to somebody and
it's being used to bolster up this um fairly fantastical story um although I do want to
say transforming into an ape how deep into the newspaper was this story this kid is just

(01:27:13):
like la la la reading the entire newspaper cover to cover like I'm Mort Sahl do do yep
that's a reference to the standup comedian I think it was Mort Sahl his whole thing was
like every single day I read I get five newspapers and I read them cover to cover and that's
how I come up with my material for standup comedy anyway that was that reference if anybody

(01:27:37):
really wanted to know well I will sleep a little easier knowing I thought you might that's
why that's where he got his five-minute chunk about a murderous gorilla yep it was from
the papers so anywho um so yeah there's like little weird stuff kind of humming this like

(01:28:02):
weird machinery humming in the background of this story and it just kind of keeps you
a little ill at ease and um like I said there really isn't anything overtly goofy going
on front and center um there are some moments that you know you uh somebody might take in

(01:28:23):
that light uh for instance like there's a moment where Jesse goes into Harry's room
bedroom uh kind of when he's like taking a shower or something he's just kind of poking
around to try to figure out what's going on with my brother and then he hears him come
out and he hides in the room like under the bed and then he notices as uh Harry's you

(01:28:45):
know stomping around and he comes into the bedroom he notices that Harry is walking on
his knuckles and I know like even described in that way that kind of seems like maybe
potentially lame like uh really you know kids turn in into an ape but I thought it was genuinely
eerie it is it sounds like uh I would have hated this when I was a kid yeah because it

(01:29:11):
sounds like it's like I I wrote in my review like I probably would have thought that was
really dumb when I was a kid and I wouldn't have enjoyed the story but reading it now
I'm like that's actually kind of creepy yeah I don't know if I would have read it for I
I'm not sure if I would have found it dumb I might have or I might have found it like
uh just depressing like it feels like a very melancholy story in a lot of ways it is actually

(01:29:41):
it really is um there's this whole idea and um that's that's one sequence um that's kind
of hitchcockian in flavor there's another one that comes later when um Jessie breaks
into uh like a storm cellar that they have on their property or a basement and there

(01:30:03):
are like rumors around the neighborhood Jessie also has a female neighborhood companion uh
Izzy um she's kind of eccentric there's a passage that I quoted in my review that uh
Jessie walks into the kitchen and he sees Izzy and uh I think it says she's wearing
a pink t-shirt and she has three ponytails I like Izzy I knew we were going to be friends

(01:30:28):
cool yeah three ponytails and a pink t-shirt can't go wrong there um but she's kind of
aiding him in his investigation but she also lets him know that um the previous tenant
of their house was this reclusive scientist um who was rumored to be doing very uh Dr.
Moreau-esque experiments in the basement of the house so that's what I mean there's like

(01:30:54):
all these seemingly disparate elements going on you know strange Uncle Barnaby the weird
ass dream and now like mad scientist who was potentially doing animal-based experiments
in the basement you know do they have anything to go do they have anything to do with what's
going on with Harry or not I honestly don't remember um but it's almost kind of besides

(01:31:20):
the point they're just there to kind of spice up the stew and like I said just kind of keep
you ill at ease the whole time and um to your point with what you were saying about the
kind of melancholic tone um you you really do get a sense that Jessie's coming from a
place of you know I love my brother and I'm just trying to understand what he's going

(01:31:43):
through and of course there are the obvious metaphorical parallels to puberty if you want
if you choose to pick up on those but you know to be clear the story is not is not um
you know being coy about what's going on this kid really is turning into a monkey for all
intents and purposes um and there's again it's like what I don't know why these all

(01:32:08):
these elements are working together so well like they are but damn it this is so cool
the hitchcocking sequence where Jessie's breaking into the basement to find out if what's going
on with his brother is tied to the mad scientist's experiments he's either being preoccupied in
the house by Izzy or I think she's like making a phone call you know and you know getting

(01:32:33):
Harry to spend his time on the phone or that might have been when Jessie was in the bedroom
I forget but there's something like that going on and so Jessie is like trying to suss out
information in the basement in the you know the brief amount of time he has before Harry
comes back out um because earlier in the story Harry left the dead body of a squirrel at

(01:32:57):
the entrance of the storm cellar when Jessie started poking around like the squirrel had
its neck twisted and it was just left at the entrance as like this grim warning to Jessie
to stay away from the basement and again that's just like taking the story to another level
like this kid killed an animal and is basically using it as a warning to his own brother um

(01:33:24):
to stay away and leave the secrets locked up um I hope Tarkes comes back for the ending
of this one no um and then he blew the side of my house off and killed my brother the
end that would have been a cool that would have been I know I lament you know series

(01:33:45):
that do that kind of thing where it's like oh it's an anthology series but the characters
cross over but I would have totally been up for just Tarkes kicking down a door melting
the eyeballs out of Harry's head the stench of gorilla poop and fur gorilla milk I would

(01:34:06):
have been definitely down for that but that's not what happens it's something almost equally
as cool uh there's like no actual uh face-to-face confrontation that occurs like no no battle

(01:34:28):
is actually waged but uh Harry enters the basement with a baseball bat and um Jessie
has a samurai sword that he got from Uncle Barnaby that was his gift from Uncle Barnaby
he took the samurai sword down into the basement so there's this like even though the promise

(01:34:52):
of that moment isn't really delivered on you know there are no blows exchanged just like
there was no reason for it to pan out that way but just the fact that it happened just
delighted me that you have like this gorilla mutant on one hand with a baseball bat and
his intrepid brother who's like trying to cure his brother wielding the samurai sword

(01:35:16):
just the coolness of the image was enough for me I didn't need them to actually you
know wage mortal combat upon each other it was just perfect the way it was and then the
story itself ends on kind of like a bittersweet uh note it is like a little bit of a twist
um but uh but it feels more melancholy than it does you know dun dun dun dun dun dun

(01:35:41):
it you know tune in next week kind of a thing um but yeah that's scary harry and that probably
is my uh my favorite of the three stories from fright time number one oh okay cool yeah
what do you think about that uh I'm surprised by the results but in a delighted kind of

(01:36:03):
way oh okay great I'm so happy to hear that well we're an hour and 40 minutes in and I
haven't even talked about the fact that I also read one of these books um so I guess
I'll spend an hour and 40 minutes talking about mine now all right well chances are
you're not going to be as long-winded as me and the hilarious thing was that I did not

(01:36:25):
expect it to pan out that way because I'm like oh god I have to rely on my memories
of this thing I read like two years ago but like I said I guess we just got better at
the podcasting thing between uh today and the first day we started this that's debatable
yeah yeah well I guess we'll see and if this ends up as a two-parter just like are you

(01:36:49):
free in the dark so be it well I think the stories that I read were not as um interesting
I guess or dynamic maybe uh with a weird mishmash of sensibility which one did you read I read
number four which contains number four stories entitled don't breathe overnight mare and

(01:37:19):
it's in the attic uh and then the cover is a couple of kids running away from like a
mummy swamp monster type thing which is a scene that does not actually happen in any
of the stories that's the one jose is holding it up in front of his again with the swamp
monsters does that happen before well with uh you can't scare me oh you're right just

(01:37:46):
the yeah just the idea of swamp monsters not actually being in the book that they serve
as the cover too darn it yeah well I think it's um I don't know again I don't know like
haven't read any of the other entries so I don't know how often the cover is unrelated

(01:38:06):
um so it could be like this could be an interpretation of a scene that happens in the first story
or it could just be like hey draw us up some kind of spooky cover uh and then okay yeah
what have I not done yet I guess I haven't done a swamp mummy paint paint paint um although

(01:38:30):
yeah it is in the swamp but the kids are still wearing very heavy jackets so this does not
look like it's at all suitable for this uh environment um it's a chili swamp I guess
so a chili floridian swamp uh so the first story don't breathe is probably the best um

(01:38:51):
the inverse of yours I guess uh about uh two out of the three stories in this book are
about somebody moving into a new place which felt very goose bumpsian to me um and the
first one is don't breathe it's about a kid who is moving to Florida with his parents

(01:39:12):
uh I forget what it's called there's a term for it but the dad gets a job with this company
and it's one of those deals where it's like we all live in this community that is provided
by the company so like I don't have to pay for my house it you know like a compound type
thing um I forget what that's called but I remember Mr. Beast the youtuber has been controversial

(01:39:34):
lately because he's like buying houses for employees and stuff and people are like these
things never really turn out good uh it usually devolves into a cult so anyway it reminded
me of um if you've seen a shoot what's that movie called where the black people talk with

(01:39:56):
they have like white people voices that they use in their teleworking jobs did you see
that movie no oh what is it called oh sorry to bother you sorry to bother you has a plot
point about a company like this where it's like everybody like wears jumpsuits and lives
in these houses that the company buys for them and you know we're really blurring the

(01:40:18):
line between work and not being at work anymore um I'm explaining it poorly but I think people
get what I'm saying uh no not at all I mean about you explaining it poorly not about people
not getting it you know I'll take it you don't have to soften the you don't have to be the

(01:40:41):
gorilla softening your baseball bat blow to my samurai sword wielding anyway I'm torturing
the metaphor there but anyway um so yeah don't breathe is just about where they move into
this community where everybody works for the same company and then the they have an incident
where they're flying in on like a little you know prop plane or whatever like a very small

(01:41:03):
plane and as they're landing the pilot um is like just has like a seizure and is like
don't move here get out while you still can and then all these like people rush in from
an ambulance and like grab him and put him on the stretcher and like put a gas mask over
his face and like yellow and blue gas like floods into his system and he becomes tranquil

(01:41:27):
again um so it's basically like about yeah that's the story is like this company is producing
this chemical that makes people complacent and turns them into zombies it doesn't affect
the little boy because he has asthma um what I thought the setup was going to be speaking
of we've talked about how m night shaman borrowed a twist from are you afraid of the dark for

(01:41:50):
the sixth sense I thought it was going to be a situation like in signs where the kid
was going to get gassed at a crucial moment but like his throat was closed up because
of his asthma so it didn't affect him but actually it turns out that it's just his inhaler
like makes him immune to the gas because it's got you know pure oxygen in it or whatever

(01:42:11):
um and then there's another girl who seems to be the only other person in this entire
town who's also immune to this gas because as soon as they move in his parents start
behaving strangely uh and they're like listen here son all that matters is this town I don't
matter you don't matter this town matters and he's like oh never heard that voice coming

(01:42:32):
out of dad before uh but there's this other girl who lives across the street who's like
diabetic and somehow her insulin shots make her immune to the chemical so then it's just
about like infiltrating the company um with her mom's id card and then trying to find
the source of the gas and then the gas turns out to be like sentient because it's like

(01:42:56):
talking to people uh so they break into like a board meeting where the there's just like
a globe filled with gas and the gas is just like forming a mouth and being like we got
to find these damn kids so that we can figure out how to make them you know like strip away
their immunity so that we can then release me the gas over the entire globe and I can

(01:43:21):
enslave everybody and then the sequence that is sort of like the cover is that they are
being chased through the swamp because oh because they um they find the pilot I think
his name is Jeremy they find him in the compound and they like cover up the gas so that he
comes back to his lucid self again and he's like okay I'm gonna go start up the plane

(01:43:43):
you guys you know do what you got to do and then meet me there in 45 minutes or whatever
um so then they're running through the swamp to get to the plane and the the gas is chasing
after them being like you'll never get away from me uh that's that story it ends pretty
abruptly they're just like and then we landed on a military base and we said hey this gas

(01:44:07):
is alive and then they came and blew everything up and everything's fine now including the
people you know maybe it's for the greater good no I think we really lose here anyway
I think mom and dad are okay at the end uh but it is just funny like um as I was reading

(01:44:30):
it I was like this is sort of like um it feels like a goosebumps book like without the filler
because it is just constantly moving but then it also is like maybe you kind of need the
filler because things go so fast and what you were saying about how the writing style
in that one story feels like the authentic voice of a kid there was like a couple of

(01:44:52):
times where I noticed like little stylistic things where I was like it almost does feel
like this is written by a kid because like there's little like very elliptical storytelling
um yeah there were times when don't breathe really just kind of felt like it was summarizing
the plot instead of actually allowing the plot to unfold so I think it could have used

(01:45:18):
another like 20 or 30 pages to really feel like fleshed out but anyway um you have any
comments about that one I'm curious why the gas why did the gas feel like he had to stop
the two kids from before just carrying out his plan it sounded like everything was going

(01:45:39):
just fine I'm not sure what wrinkle they were putting into it yeah well I think because
he says something along the lines of like or like one of the his lackeys who was reporting
to him about the status of their plan is like currently you know 98.67 percent of the world's
population is susceptible to your effects which but that means that we would still have

(01:46:02):
you know millions of people able to resist you so they I think they want to get the kids
so they can study them and see why they can resist the effects of the gas so that when
they unleash it across the entire planet then there will be nobody who can resist you see
what I'm saying oh no I see what you're saying now I guess it makes sense I'll get that yeah

(01:46:27):
so that one was uh you know b plus next was over nightmare which is about a couple of
kids who are or like three kids who are um they go into the woods into a place where
you know you're not supposed to be trespassing I guess they go out there to camp and then

(01:46:49):
civil war go show up and then they sort of it's ambiguous like it seems like they go
back in time to the civil war and then the confederate soldiers are like hey go tell
us if there's a union ambush up there and then they're like okay and then there is a
union ambush and they tell them about it and then the confederate army wins a battle that

(01:47:11):
historically they didn't win hooray so that's that's good I know right it's very strange
I was like boy this is that's it that's the story that's the whole thing wow yep
and there's absolutely it's what was it's what was scary about any of this I mean it's

(01:47:37):
because they're ghosts ooh ghosts it's scary on like a revisionist history level yeah it's
scary in a way that I don't know if it's kids are concerned it's very strange because I
was sort of waiting the entire story to get some kind of final word from the author I'm
like how do we feel about you know the confederate army in this story it kind of feels like it's

(01:48:01):
pro but there's no real definitive like it just kinds of it ends with them being like
gee I wonder if this happens every night we could find out if we camp here again no thanks
ha ha ha ha freeze frame roll credits so you never really find out exactly how the kids

(01:48:25):
feel about we won't be deciding fate anytime soon at our next sleepover yeah maybe we can
help the whole confederate army win the entire war next time wouldn't that be cool we can
do better than that so that's a strange entry and then the last one is called it's in the

(01:48:46):
attic which I was hoping would be about a monster but it's not it's about a wedding
dress you're an adult jose so do you know something that always happens when people
buy a house like a previously lived in house in books is like there's always all this stuff

(01:49:07):
in the attic from previous owners and I'm like is that real or like I would have thought
that like the realtor company would like come in and remove all that stuff but does stuff
just get left in old houses when you buy in when you buy them well I would say on the
whole no you know there may be special circumstances the closest thing we have we were just talking

(01:49:34):
about this earlier is that occasionally when we've been gardening and landscaping in our
backyard we'll be you know digging holes for plants or transplanting plants we come across
old dog toys that the previous canine buried in the backyard but that's the closest I think

(01:49:56):
we've come to anything like that yeah my memory can recall I was like boy this could really
go in a bad direction yeah we came across the strangest thing the other day a whole
arm we're looking for the rest yeah so it's in the attic is one of those situations where

(01:50:18):
the attic is full of stuff for previous owners and then there's a wedding dress there it's
from a bride who was left at the altar that day now she's haunting the house the young
girl's getting possessed by her this was already kind of this is the one that I read most recently
and it's stuck in my memory the least she starts to get like kind of possessed by the

(01:50:41):
ghost but also like pulled into like I guess the idea is that like she's a kind young teenager
so the bride is like come comfort me in the attic forever and then that story ends where
a trustee trip to the library where she goes through microfiche of old newspapers which
is one of the tropes I always love yeah she goes to the library and finds an article saying

(01:51:09):
that this guy that she was the bride was supposed to marry you know a hundred years ago or whenever
it was was like oh he got hit by a horse-drawn cart and died and that's why he didn't show
up on the day of her wedding and the family didn't tell her because they just didn't feel
like it I guess so she lived out the whole rest of her life thinking that Charles had

(01:51:30):
just abandoned her her life and a lot of her un life so then the girl brings home the article
and is like look he didn't abandon you he's dead instead isn't that great and the bride's
like okay I guess I'll go join him in the afterlife the end
Wow you got some clunkers

(01:51:58):
Which is not to say that I don't know how many good stories were told across the span
of the Freight Time series I seem to remember a fair majority of them being boring kind
of like the one you mentioned like the one you mentioned in particular over nightmare

(01:52:20):
there's another story that's like that from number eight I think that's the one that looks
like it has we have another kid in a sweater on the cover he looks like he's like a bionic
kid he's about to take off into a little bit of a bionic run there and he's also being

(01:52:43):
menaced by a pretty gnarly looking snaggle tooth zombie behind him I think it's the one
called aftershock oh no that's deadly creatures coming from the power lines oh yeah so zombie
zone maybe it's that one I feel like it was one of those two but uh the kid goes back

(01:53:06):
in time to like the cowboy days and he comes across like this yeah exactly he comes across
like this noted criminal and I just remember what one totally random sequence where you
know the bandits getting all tough with him and the kids like either the bandit acts for

(01:53:28):
them or the kid offers them as like a means of distraction and it works he gives him his
walkman he's like here try this mr. bandit of course and the guy's like oh what are these
voices I'm hearing and the kid like runs off well he's listening to you know I don't know
new kids on the block or something I am Darth Vader from the planet Vulcan yes that's uh

(01:53:58):
that is kind of indicative of what a lot of fried time stories felt like where they're
just kind of like these limp terrors again you know baronet books it's like we're gonna
make a scary story scary series for kids meanwhile we're adapting you know Sherlock Holmes on

(01:54:21):
the other side of the office it's like well it's an admirable effort but you know a lot
of it couldn't help but feel a little tepid however I have like seen people talk about
this series online and specifically mentioned certain stories with that kind of breathless

(01:54:43):
nostalgia of oh man I remember this one story it was so crazy before when I when I thought
Eric and I were gonna be able to recount some different books from the series the one that
I chose was was a book that had one of those stories in it that a fair amount of people
seem to remember so it's like in little fits and starts they had these moments of inspiration

(01:55:13):
you know be a deranged inspiration or otherwise but on the whole it was kind of just like
a very it was kind of like an armchair type scary series for kids you know nothing nothing
too crazy but who knows maybe I'm wrong maybe there are others out there that really are

(01:55:34):
on the same level of insanity as it's almost dark or kind of val lutonian suspense of scary
Harry who knows scary Harry did you have any scary Harry did you have any final thoughts

(01:55:54):
about the series is this something you think you would try out again in the future or what's
the deal yes I would should I say I like the strong conviction in which you said that yeah
no I think it's a cool again the fact that they're all no question the fact that they're

(01:56:18):
all different authors I think is kind of a fun twist and you really only need one half
decent story in a time because it's like it doesn't I read the whole book today over the
course of like an hour and a half so you know if you get one half decent story and then
two that aren't not miserable to read it's like well that was that was an hour and a

(01:56:40):
half but in terms of I was going to ask you though when you were saying there were some
real clunkers in there it's kind of a trick question because there's only a couple of
actual short stories series outside of this that I can remember for kids especially horror
related ones but I was going to say what would you say is the most consistent short story

(01:57:03):
anthology series is for kids oh geez because I'll tell you my memory it's the Bruce Covill's
book of I feel like had a lot of really good ones in there but if I were to reread those
an adult as an adult maybe I'd be like oh I really only remember like the good three

(01:57:23):
out of these twelve or something I don't know I can't I couldn't say for sure with regards
to that series because I only well no I might have read others I only have one which is
Bruce Covill's book of monsters I can't and I can't say for sure if I read any of the

(01:57:45):
other ones I feel like I might have read one of the spine tinglers back in school but at
least based on book of monsters I would say that's a fair assessment because even if like
every story isn't specifically to my liking in that book they're all still very good I

(01:58:10):
feel like they were curated well yeah and it's unfair because Bruce Coville also had
the luxury of going back and just like anything he could get the rights to he would throw
in there so he had like Ray Bradbury stories and some of them he had the story that the

(01:58:32):
Twilight Zone episode to serve man you know he was able to go put that story in there
so it was not exactly a fair comparison with a series it's trying to come up with like
three brand new stories every single outing you know a month or however many of these
came out right yeah true enough to answer your question though I would say I'm gonna

(01:58:59):
go fairly more recent with my pick a series that has always managed to delight me in all
kinds of different ways I can't remember if I brought it up on the show before but that

(01:59:20):
there's no like there's no one collective title for me to refer to the series by other
than saying the weenie books by David Lubar the first one was invasion of the lawn weenies
and then each successive one has a different title that's a play on that so there's like

(01:59:45):
curse of the campfire weenies battle of the red hot pepper weenies check out the library
weenies was one of the last few ones to come out and I know from the title it's like yeah
I don't know about that Jose however they are they're fairly sizable collections most

(02:00:13):
of the stories are pretty short like two to three pages tops sometimes and the thing that
I love about them is that there's just such a wealth of imagination and wit throughout
all of them again it's you know not necessarily necessarily true that I love every single

(02:00:36):
story but I appreciate every one of them they all have they're very idea driven I mean they
would kind of have to be for being so short so if you love the short form and just like
getting like you know getting that short sharp shock or jolt that you do from an abbreviated

(02:01:01):
tale well told that's like one of the best series but we'll have to cover some time
somebody I hope in the future too yeah I'd love to maybe get him on the show all right
great well there's your open invitation Lou Barr is that what you said his name was yeah

(02:01:22):
Lou Barr yeah and I hope I'm not pronouncing it I hope I'm not pronouncing it incorrectly
our arch nemesis so let's see is there anything else I want to say about fry time no I don't
think so but yeah I wouldn't mind before we can revisit some of them in the future because

(02:01:48):
one of the ones I it's annoying that they list things on open library that they don't
actually have yeah because like it's not like they list all of the fright time books one
through 18 so why list any of the ones that they don't I don't know it's very strange
but one of them had a story called gore tour I'm like hmm I'm curious how much will it

(02:02:11):
actually live up to the title and if it rolls its punches and doesn't then I'm like maybe
it'll do it in an interesting way I think that's a story that deals with another one
of my favorite genre tropes and it has a wax museum setting okay or is that monster bills

(02:02:33):
revenge I'm thinking of I feel like they're the same book couldn't tell you anyway anyway
I love wax museums and a horror story they're the best that's all I got to say about that
okay yeah maybe in the future we'll hear some more thoughts about that maybe we will and
maybe we'll hear some thoughts in the future about fry time from you dear listener is this

(02:02:57):
a series that you have recollections of reading as a kid please reach out to us and let us
know especially if there are any stories that you recall with some bit of fondness whether
it was just love for the actual narrative or incredulity over what it was that your

(02:03:19):
eyeballs were taking in we'd love to hear both of those you can reach out to us via
our email address which is blackmagictreehousepod at gmail.com you can also reach out to us
on instagram our handle is the same as our email address blackmagic treehouse pod and believe it
or not we are also on facebook now we want to hear from listeners we want to hear from fans of this

(02:03:45):
stuff you know there are so many gatherings and groups out there on social media that cater to
the young adult crowd you know fans of like the point horror books from the 80s and 90s
so on and so forth and of course there are plenty of goosebumps fan clubs but we really want to open

(02:04:07):
the treehouse door open wide to any potential club members who want to come up and talk about all
those other weird creepy books that you remember seeing as kids so come on over you can find us
just by searching black magic treehouse on facebook give us a join and uh and join in on the

(02:04:29):
conversation we'd love to hear from you one way or the other is there anything else that you feel
we should impart to our dear beloved listeners tonight eric uh well i could tell you i don't want
to move to prolapsed rectum virginia so long everybody rectum damn near killed them

(02:05:00):
so
you damn kids

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