Heebie Jeebies #2: Welcome to Camp Creeps

Have you ever been to camp? Was it creepy? Have no fear, the Lord is here! Rod Randall uses the horror genre to teach us a thing or two about the Bible or...something.

Episode Transcript

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Did you like the video?

(00:04):
Hello.

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And welcome up to the Black Magic Treehouse, the podcast where we review the children's
horror books of our youth that sometimes creeped us out or sometimes just camped us out.
If that's an expression.
I'm trying to make a pun about camp campiness and actual physical camp.

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Anyway, my name is Eric.
This thing's off the rails already.
That's what happens whenever Jose's not here.
But instead I have everybody's favorite, Jose Fillion, especially my favorite Jose Fillion,
my girlfriend.
I think her name is pronounced Udunu.
Hello.
Hello, it's me Udunu.

(01:20):
Also known as Adana, the girlfriend.
Yeah.
So today I noticed whenever I edit, I always notice that whenever the floor gets thrown
to me, I always start off by saying, yeah.
And then I think when I'm recording, don't say yeah every time you start talking.
And then I listen back as I'm editing and I'm going, oh, I still say yeah every time

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I start talking.
So that's, I guess that's just the way God made me.
Maybe it will save my life one day.
Anyway, today we are reviewing, I don't like saying goosebumps knockoffs because I don't
think it's particularly true most of the time.

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But when I say that, what I mean is children's chapter anthology books of the 90s that probably
would not exist in the form they exist in if goosebumps were not the juggernaut of publishing
that it was at the time.
This entry is Hebe Jeebe's number two, Welcome to Camp Creeps.

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And there's something a little different about this book compared to our usual affair.
I'm going to go ahead and read the teaser on the back and see if anybody can guess what
maybe makes the demographic of this one a little bit altered.
Welcome to Camp Creeps.

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Two big city kids don't stand a ghost of a chance in this strange and spooky camp.
Would you freak out if a spider jumped on your head?
Or be scared if you were chased by a hungry wolf?
Even worse, what if you were standing face to face with a phantom?
That's only part of what happened to two kids from the big city who stumble upon a creepy

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and haunted abandoned campground in the latest Hebe Jeebe's adventure.
Come join Heather and Todd on a fun filled journey packed with thrills and surprises
as they investigate a mysterious haunted camp, discover their father's own secret involvement
and realize God's all powerful protection and love.

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So yeah, that's an appropriate sound for our almighty Christ.
Honey, my dear, my darling, do you want to tell people about the Genesis, so to speak,
of this particular episode idea?
Vis a vis that I sure do.

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So I started listening to a podcast this week and I'll tell you, I was a little jealous.
I'm I will plug them.
They are the after Rapture Party podcast and I'm so jealous because they got to an idea

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before I could of reading through all of the Left Behind Kids books and I am so jealous
and traumatized listening along with them.
They it's hilarious and and so bad.
If you're not familiar with the books are so bad podcast, I'm assuming is what you're

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yes, the books, the books are so bad.
The podcast is so funny.
A couple of, you know, deconstructed, maybe fully unconstructed former, former believers
going through each of these books and those books.
I'll give you a brief synopsis and then we'll get back to this one.

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Those books go through the apocalypse, but through the eyes of children and it's written
for children to really get the fear of the Lord in your young to make sure that you check
all the boxes and you're raptured up and all your clothes are left behind.
So anyway, I was left behind refers to everybody's clothes, your clothes, the clothes of the

(05:29):
saved and I didn't know those books just started like piles of clothes is there like is like
a Toy Story adventure clothing just like where did our masters go?
I guess that would be more like Brave Little Toaster.
Yes, the Brave Little Toaster of clothing and heathens.
Hens and clothing left behind and hearing aids and tooth implants.

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Anyway, yeah, so many things are left behind.
Anyway, I freaking loved it and assuming anybody with breast implants would not be raptured
because of how sinful it absolutely not.
They're left behind.
So we do not see any breast implants or, you know, lip injections left behind only hearing

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aids.
Everyone has hearing aids.
They're all left behind.
Anyway, so when Eric invited me to be a guest on this podcast, I wanted to do one of these
Jesus books, Jesus Goosebumps, not Goosebumps copyright infringement books.
And let me tell you, I did not read these as a kid, but I did read those left behind

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once.
But this was just so good.
So good.
Now in true me fashion, let me just point out that the first paragraph does start out
with a little bit of body shaming.
I made a note of that.
I thought you might.
I was thinking of you as I read that.

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Not in a body shaming me sort of way, but in that he knows that I hate body shaming.
In the sense that the only time it's ever come up on this podcast is because you took
us to task for not noting it whenever it crops up in 90s books.
And here it is, first paragraph.
My little brother Todd had just swiped my flashlight and run ahead before I could get
it back.

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That he got away from me wasn't just annoying.
It was amazing.
Normally, he moves like a barge with his thick ankles and pudgy frame.
He's anything but fast.
Later, we do find out that Heather, the sister, is super skinny and she's Heather the feather
and she hates being called Heather the feather or made fun of about her weight.

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But don't you worry, the Lord made her that way and it comes in later to be life saving
that she is Heather the feather.
Yeah I don't recall if Todd's pudginess ever saves him.
I think he just kind of gets written out of the last act because the author was like,
oh no, how do I make this fat kid have a special ability?

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Yeah his fatness never makes a comeback.
Because I was like, you know, maybe it's not body shaming if they do bring it back to the
Lord made you that way and you can hide behind one single pillar from a phantom and it'll
save your life.
You know, spoiler alert.

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But in this case, poor Todd and his pudgy ankles, all he does is twist an ankle.
It didn't save him from twisting an ankle.
It did not cushion a fall.
It did nothing for him.
He's just fat but faster than the average pudge kid.

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So anyway, here we go into this book.
Into this book we go.
Heidi Ho.
Well I was going to ask, did this fulfill your itch that came from the Left Behind podcast?
Because reading this I was surprised that it was pretty mild in terms of the proselytizing

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and also the biblical, you know, NC 17 rated but it's okay because it's moral so we can
show it to kids, you know.
It's pretty tame.
It's about as tame as any given Goosebumps book.
So I don't know if you felt shortchanged or not.
To be honest I did feel a little shortchanged because I mean, I was really hoping for a

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big come to Jesus moment.
I was hoping for some, you know, laying on of hands or something at the end.
I was hoping for an altar call.
Life and death.
I know you don't know what that is.
I know.

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I'm sorry.
But, well for those of you who don't know what an altar call is, this is my Southern
Baptist voice by the way.
An altar call is where they pretty much say would you like to invite the Lord Jesus into
your heart as your Lord and Savior and if you do you have to come to the front and be

(10:18):
prayed for.
So that's an altar call.
So anyway, there wasn't anything like that.
It just kind of is like throughout the story Heather the Feather is like I just prayed
that God would keep us safe and he did.
I prayed that we would know what direction to go in but we still got lost but it's okay.

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I prayed that the fire would be put out and it was, spoiler alert, and it just kind of
goes along that direction.
So I'm still jealous of the gals, the folks that are reading the other book.
I'm going to be honest.
I wanted to have a little more oomph, a little more pizzazz.

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When did the Left Behind books come out?
You know I don't actually know.
I am picturing my-
Is this like pre or post 9-11?
In my mind they're pre because I feel like I was younger than that going to the Christian

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bookstore and buying them and I feel like I'm picturing people going directly onto airplanes
in them and the airplanes crashing.
What is the year?
1995.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I was pretty young, pretty young reading that.

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So that brings up another question I was going to ask you is because I was thinking about
how, just my sort of overview of like you're a religious person so I want to bother you
about it.
I was curious.
I thought maybe post 9-11 because that's when I heard of them.
I didn't know about them until I was in high school which was, you know, like a month into

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high school is when 9-11 happened for me.
I mean for everybody but I'm just saying not everybody was that exact age that I was.
But I was curious if that had something to do with how extreme those books were was like
because it's like oh the devil is in the face of the smoke coming out of the towers before

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they collapsed and like the great Satan of Islam or whatever is trying to take our nation
down and we have to like buckle in and be super Christian now.
What I was thinking about was how the 90s was, I watched a documentary a while back called,

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I think it's called The Slime Years but it's about like the origin story of Nickelodeon
which started in like the late 70s and the woman whose name I can't remember but who
would rise up to become like the president of Nickelodeon and basically shape it into
the network that kids of my generation knew it as.

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She ran it from you know sometime in the 80s until like 97 or 98 or something and then
she jumped ship and went over to Disney.
But she talked about how the origin of Nickelodeon was that they wanted it to be like all of
the children's programming on the air at that time was like edutainment.

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There had to be like some kind of moralistic value.
There had to be some kind of educational value like Mr. Rogers and I don't know probably
like Mr. Wizard.
I don't know what was on in the 70s but stuff that like I do that to educate a kid or like
teach them some kind of lesson and they were saying like we want Nickelodeon to be just

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a place where kids can go and hang out and be kids and be silly and have fun and go on
adventures without feeling like they're being lectured to all the time.
And to me I feel like that attitude kind of permeated the 90s in general in terms of like
Goosebumps was a really big series.

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Not that there weren't people protesting Goosebumps at the time and trying to get it banned from
libraries but I don't know like I just feel like but it's also because I didn't grow up
in the same kind of community you grew up in.
So I guess my question is was there as pervasive an air of like extreme religious moralizing

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at the time and were people freaking out because of things like Goosebumps and Nickelodeon
saying it's okay to not give your kids a moral and were they freaking out like but you have
to give the kids a moral or they grow up to be you know I don't know atheists or whatever.
Maybe that's what happened to me.
I don't know what's your perspective on all that compared to you know nowadays which I

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don't know if it's gotten more pervasive or if I'm just paying attention to it more because
I'm an adult who's seeing the effects of it you know as it affects the country we're in.
Oh that was a lot of question.
So one I think for me growing up everything was probably teaching something and by something

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I mean Jesus.
I mean I was homeschooled for a long time so you know I'm pretty sure there was probably
Jesus in our math and there was definitely Jesus in our science and trying to learn some
of that.
There's definitely Jesus in our history and our mark in history and you know in our music

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I wasn't allowed to listen to secular music in our books and reading.
Even if I wasn't specifically reading a Christian book I was definitely reading a wholesome
educational book like the you know the girl diary books about girls that were like settlers

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or I don't remember what they were called.
And wholesome so I think I'm answering your question with yes every single thing had to
do with something.
We did watch some Nickelodeon and a lot of Disney so I get you know there were some points

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where we didn't have that.
We did have friends that weren't allowed to watch TV though period they didn't have a TV
in the house so we were more secular than that.
As far as now I think there are still definitely those folks out there for sure.

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As you know I've deconstructed a lot so I'm not over there.
I wouldn't call myself religious even though I you know comparatively speaking to you.
You might call me that but I don't like it so.
But yeah I think that yeah everything had a bit of that in there.

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And these nine I mean not nine eleven they're pre nine eleven but those those left behind
books were definitely definitely in there.
And you know nineteen what did you say ninety five.
I was in fifth grade or fifth or sixth grade and really number one really into them really
afraid of them.

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And that was in my whole life like in times in times.
So anyway we talk about this book this nice pleasant little.
Oh we can talk more about that.
I'm just going to fully tag that other podcast in this and then we'll just take over there.
OK.

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But I guess what I'm wondering is do you think there was as much of a moral panic especially
among the voter base.
Because like I think like a lot of CIS set white people I didn't really think that much
about how much influence I'm going to say extremely religious or like evangelical like

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the far right religion religious people.
I didn't think about how much sway they had over the voting polls until Donald Trump got
elected.
So I was already an adult by that point because like I didn't like George W. Bush either.
Sorry Trump supporters but also don't listen to this podcast.

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I don't care about you.
But like George W. Bush to me I never got.
And again this might have just been because I wasn't paying attention or was ignorant
of this kind of thing.
But like I didn't like him and his politics but I didn't feel like he was like being pushed
is like maybe it's also just because I wasn't on Facebook at the time.

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Facebook is where I see pictures of you know paintings of like Donald Trump walking hand
in hand with Jesus or whatever.
So maybe that did exist and it just wasn't as prevalent or in my face as as the Donald
Trump supporters.
Is that what you think is going on with me.
I think a little bit of both.
I mean definitely in any church I grew up with politics were there.

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You're definitely praying for the Republican person because that's the chosen one of the
time.
Trump has made it scarier in my mind.
But also at that time I was on that side which is embarrassing to say but it is what it is.

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So we all grow and we change.
So it's hard to look back and know exactly where the scary lines were if they were as
scary as they are now.
I do think social media plays a huge part in it.

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But definitely churches especially mega churches which we didn't go to a lot of those but so
any church has always played a part in politics and trying to get their congregation to go
a certain way.
It's a huge part of why I don't do church.

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Well this is all related to the book I promise.
I think I was just trying to because like I said this book's religious factor is pretty
mild.
It's like four out of ten in terms of how much is pushing anything.
And I guess I was just trying to construct a narrative in my mind of like how maybe religious

(21:23):
people were not as concerned with pushing quite as hard in the 90s because they weren't
feeling like America was under attack from all these various forces that are now kind
of rearing their heads or being more visible like you know like I said like other religions
people practicing other religions in America or the LGBTQ community or whatever.

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But maybe that narrative is just a false one and it's just my pure ignorance.
And Rod Randall who wrote these books just wanted to write some nice clean wholesome
fun that wasn't too evangelical.
But maybe it's not talking about politics now.
First thing I want to talk about was this cover and look on our Instagram at what's

(22:11):
our podcast called Black Magic Treehouse pod I think Instagram.
I was about to say at teen creeps pod I know which is not a podcast that I have anything
to do with.
But they're good too.
Yeah definitely inspired the format of this podcast that I had to convince Jose to emulate.

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But this cover has like kind of the Tim Jacoba style fisheye lens really warped perspective
of a log house cabin in the middle of the forest with two evil orange eyes staring out
from the darkness of the door frame.
And there is the phantom I was going to say the titular phantom but I guess his name is

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not in the title and he's like a green very soft focus fanged green Halloween mask basically
reaching out with green hands.
And we've been watching a lot of Ink Masters lately so I don't know if that's just making
me feel extra mean because of the influence of the harshness of that show.

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But I think this is a terrible cover.
I think this artwork is really bad.
And I'm sorry if you're listening and you drew this but it just looks like it looks
like that meme you know where people I don't know if you've ever seen that meme where it's
like stop doing this shit to your photos and it's a photo of Yoda and then after the filter

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he's been like his skin has been smooth to like a baby.
That's what this phantom looks like it's just like a smooth nothingness.
Smooth Yoda.
Yeah he just kind of looks like a smooth Yoda like no character personality whatsoever and
then just like kind of a flowing amorphous black nothingness for his robes.

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I think it's bad.
What do you think?
I agree.
Also he's got just such a big chummy grin on his face.
I just he's a little I was like is he going to be friendly?
He's not so scary.
And it almost I mean spoilers I guess but from the very first paragraph that the phantom

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shows up I was like oh this is going to be one of those books where they do the Scooby
Doo thing where nothing is supernatural at all as a rational explanation and this is
just a guy in a stupid Halloween mask trying to scare everybody away and it turns out that's
exactly what happens.
And I wonder if I was influenced by this cover even though it is drawn it looks like a guy

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wearing a stupid Halloween mask.
Well I will say one thing that threw me off a little bit.
Well here are some things.
One I thought you could never have a phantom in a Jesus book because that doesn't exist
you know but.
I was wondering about that.
Yeah but then at one point they said and then he gave me the biggest smile.

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So I was like well I guess it's not a mask because it sounds like his mouth is changing.
Did you think anything about that.
Nope.
Okay well that was the only part where I was like well I don't know now I guess it's not
a mask I don't know what's going on with this thing.
Yeah well he also floats through the trees at one point.

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The dad is like oh it was just wires I found them while I was out walking around looking
at stuff.
Yeah he connected wires all around our house so he could float up by your window.
No big deal.
I at least thought that was going to be like a projection or something like that was you
used to do on Scooby Doo.
Yeah but alas it was not.

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Alrighty well so the plot of this book I mean I read it already and I don't think we need
to go beat by beat but basically yeah they set up pretty early on that dad is an insurance
investigator and I wrote this I made a note of this because I thought this was a good
like the way that you brag about your dad when you're a kid like as an adult you're

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like that's not really such a big deal but as a kid you're like my dad's the coolest
dad in the whole world.
Dad's an insurance investigator oh Heather says he's the best.
One time he solved a case where the owner started a fire in his own house just to get
the insurance money.
I'm like doesn't every insurance investigator like that's their job.

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But I thought that was good in the sense that it felt like something a 13 year old would
say when they're like telling you about their dad like my dad's so good at his job he once
caught a criminal who was arsoning their own house just for the money.
I guess I don't need to go through every one of these notes that I made.
Oh the first so I don't know they're on vacation in the mountains.

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Do they say where the mountains are?
No I don't think so.
In the mountains.
Oh I wrote down and then there's a wolf.
There's a wolf chasing everybody around that winds up having nothing to do with anything.
Although I guess there's some speculation that maybe the phantom led them out of a trap
once or something.

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Yeah the deal with the wolf well one I think the wolf actually mauled a child at some point
but the child lived and that's part of what shut down the camp in the first place.
And then I guess they trapped the wolf but then this dude that's wearing the phantom
mask, untrap the wolf and brought it back to keep the camp closed down.
So there is a real wolf and a dude in a phantom mask running around.

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So there is some real threat happening here.
Yeah sure.
They find this camp in the woods and then they realize it was a Christian camp.
Yes specific Christian camp made so people, children can hear about the Lord that is repeated

(28:13):
multiple times and that's why it's an important camp.
That's why it's an important camp.
But I wrote down that this book, let's see what did I write down.
Over the course of four chapters two, oh there are two fake out endings.
It winds up being three within the first five.
Two of my family members are dead fake out endings.
The first one was because Heather and Todd are tramping around in the woods and then

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after Heather sees her maybe just hears the wolf, she runs to go find her brother and
he's like lying on the ground with quote blood all over him and then he's like haha gotcha
and then to tie in with the last episode we did where we talked about how surprising it
was to Jose that they name checked McDonald's.

(29:02):
He specifically says I use these McDonald's ketchup packets to fool you with blood all
over myself.
Ha ha ha ha.
And then the other one was oh the end of chapter four or three is Heather comes home to tell
her parents what happened and dad is slumped over on the table lifeless.

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He's dead and then mom comes in is like oh he's took some cold medicine and that made
him pass out and I wrote down I'm surprised this book says medicine is okay.
Any thoughts on that?
Yeah we were medicine people so you know I mean yeah there's I think there are different

(29:46):
different religions and yeah and our religion was okay with medicine.
Just to clarify I was raised in a even saying a religious household feels that word to me
is just like that means a certain kind of thing but we were church growing people.
We were just Lutherans who are pretty relaxed about everything so I didn't have any kind

(30:08):
of censorship of what I could read or watch or you know we were not anti medicine anti
vaxxers anti whatever all the things that some religious people but I think just I don't
know I think once you declare this is Christian media my mind is like oh there must be wacko

(30:32):
because I feel like people who go to a Lutheran church and are sane would just write a thing
and like if they have some kind of religious conviction like they might be like a Terrence
Malick about it and like insert that into the story but not have it like take over and
be like this is how you must live your life it's just like this is a thing that's important
to me so I'll put it like I'm night Shyamalan I'm listening to a podcast right now where

(30:54):
they're watching all of them night Shyamalan's movies and talking about how religiosity comes
up so much in his work but he was a mainstream filmmaker he never identified so that's kind
of what I think is like if you're a sane religious person you just make stuff and if you're an
insane religious person you say this is specifically you know a crappy alternative to the thing

(31:16):
your kid actually wants to watch or read what else do you have to say?
Well you were talking about the fake outs I thought every maybe I'm over exaggerating
was it not every single chapter ended in a fake out because that is definitely how it
felt I was like oh my god nothing's ever gonna happen here it's all gonna be a fake out fake

(31:37):
out scare fake out scare nothing happens nothing happens because yeah we have the the dead
brother not dead bloody brother ketchup brother not dead dad passed out dad and everyone ends
of course on a cliffhanger chapter so then it picks up in the next chapter just kidding

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dad had too much medicine and then he eventually woke up off the table it's just like absolutely
ridiculous do you want to talk about the spider one at this moment?
The spider that says I don't specifically remember go ahead you can say okay at one

(32:21):
point Heather fakes being bit by a spider okay yes I thought you meant this specific
instance where a spider like jumps our head in the forest but yes I wrote down that this
Rod Randall old double R even out does R.L. Stein in this book because not only does
he give us all these fake out cliffhangers he gives us a flick a fake out cliffhanger

(32:47):
from Heather's point of view where she is the one faking everybody out so I guess she's
just lying to us the audience so it's at the end of a chapter after the spider fell on
her head let me see if I can find it because it is it is the most ridiculous thing and
you're like this one must be happening because she's definitely telling us it's happening

(33:11):
and it's from her that it's happening what happened to the camp I said and why does someone
want to scare us away dad shrugged it's hard to say God knows of course but perhaps we
never will but maybe we can help solve some kind of mystery I gobbled a big handful of
popcorn and reached for another I doubt it mom said she got up and poured us all some

(33:31):
punch I like all the you can't just say this person said something it's like I said that
and also grabbed a handful of popcorn mom said that and got up to get us all some punch
is a very active family I think most of our if a book is written about us it's just like
he said while sitting on the couch she said while sitting on the couch if only I had another

(33:54):
comeback but I didn't for some reason I was feeling lightheaded I thought of the spider
that I landed on my hair did it bite me before I shook it loose I couldn't breathe I started
to choke everything looked blurry the spider I guessed help what is it Heather dad asked

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my head was spinning air please I begged my lungs felt like they were caving in she's
passing out mom shrieked dad squeezed my hand by then I was gone
bum bum bum chapter six Heather my dad pleaded patting my back Heather what's wrong do something

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dad Todd begged hurry mom cried out that was enough for me fooled you I said laughing
fuck you Heather Heather the feather I just doesn't make any sense it doesn't make any
sense I feel like the author was like I'm gonna I'm gonna make her pass out and then

(35:06):
was like too much too much too much much Jesus would never Jesus would never it's gonna be
a joke but forgot it was from her perspective it just made no sense that wouldn't that fake
out was the most frustrating fake out to me now I do see a little further down in your
notes you're discussing the dad's secret phone call so at this point in the book the dad

(35:34):
is having well the daughter thinks that the phantom has come into the house it's another
fake out turns out it's dad downstairs on a secret phone call in the closet it's definitely
written in a way that we as adult readers of normal books would definitely think dads

(35:55):
having an affair but this is not an adult book for normal readers so clearly that's
not what's happening but there is no clearly this is what is happening it's very confusing
if you're reading this book I have no idea what my little child pure Christian heart
mind would have thought because all I thought at this point was dad's having an affair

(36:19):
I couldn't get out of my head what did you think clearly that's what you thought too
with your notes well I didn't think that was gonna turn out to be the case it made me think
of my problem with not even specifically Christian media but with I don't know I guess I would
say like family values type media like mice you mentioned the Disney Channel I always

(36:45):
felt like I didn't really watch the Disney Channel at least their live action stuff because
I always felt like and I didn't really have the tools to articulate this when I was you
know 10 or 11 but my sister used to watch like Boy Meets World and Brotherly Love and
like Growing Pains and stuff like that and it always annoyed me because I was like I
understood on some level that these were shows that were purporting to talk about actual

(37:12):
real world issues that teens faced but they always did it in the most disingenuous way
so like you know if there was an episode about like I don't know somebody wanted to try pot
or something then the solution to the problem would just be like well don't do it and it

(37:37):
always annoyed me because I think I just sense like they want the credit for like being good
wholesome clean television that's teaching kids how to live but they're not teaching
kids how to live because they're not willing to engage with the real world reasons that
people actually do drugs or have premarital sex or I don't know are attracted to people

(37:58):
of their same sex not that that's not that I think that's a problem but you know somebody
writing for that show might or whatever you know like what do you do when you're at a
party and everybody's drinking or whatever it just always felt so patently false to me
so that's what this made me think of was like I would really respect if a Christian book

(38:19):
was like actually dealing with what do you do when you find out your dad is having an
affair but I knew that wasn't going to be the case so that's why I made that note.
Yeah yeah I mean we for sure was never going to happen but isn't it in Safe by the Bell
where is it Lisa that has the drug problem but really it's just sleeping pills Jesse

(38:43):
yeah sleeping pills.
So excited.
I'm so scared.
Yep it was hard hard hitting issues so.
I'm assuming the point of the secret phone calls because I think Heather brings it up
to mom later and mom's like I have something to tell you and then you know Deus ex machina

(39:05):
interrupts whatever her explanation would be I'm assuming they're just supposed to be
like work calls.
I assume so too or like maybe he's talking to the police because we find out he talked
to the police about stuff going on at the camp so I don't know if we ever got back to
this but the dad is there to oh my god the police situation oh my god so the dad is there

(39:28):
we find out he took them on this family vacation but it's also a work trip because he's there
to figure out what's going on at this camp so that he can get the camp insurance money
to reopen but this phantom is there and is scaring everyone away also there's a wolf
there that is scaring everyone away and there happen to be fires that keep popping up.

(39:49):
And so there's more and more damage to this camp and they can't rebuild it so the dad
is there to do his insurance stuff and which you don't find out until the end.
Yeah that's a plot twist the plot twist at the very end is that dad yeah yeah because
it does start out as you know the typical the kid the parents don't believe the kids

(40:12):
because the kids go to the camp they see the phantom they see the wolf they come screaming
back they're like oh my god there's a phantom and the parents are like okay you just need
to never go to that camp again because also it's going to cave in on your head because
it's in shambles.
So we just figure the parents don't believe the kids but as the story progresses we find

(40:33):
out the dad does believe something fishy is going on perhaps not a phantom because Jesus
but he does believe something questionable is going on and he's investigating it so behind
the scenes without wanting to tell his family he's talking to the police but why don't you
talk to us about the police?

(40:57):
Well first off I want to say going somewhat chronologically Todd gets obsessed with laying
out traps because he wants to catch the wolf he has all kinds of traps every single one
of them well I guess not every single one to give Todd his credit one of them finally
works at the end Chekhov's tree trap.
Well he catches himself in the pit.

(41:18):
Yes but I was going to say before that though he makes all these different traps to try
to capture the wolf because he's reading out of like survival books oh I wrote down a quote
that I was like I thought was pretty funny Todd is at the beginning of the book Todd
is saying that he wants to build all these traps and Heather's like you don't know how
and he talks about this book that he has and he says I read part of the entire thing I

(41:44):
thought that was pretty funny but then the author kills it by having Heather respond
you mean you looked at the pictures come on Ron Randall just let the joke be what it is
but he has some book where he's like probably some survival handbook or whatever that he's
reading to set up all these traps and then dad gets caught in one at some point like

(42:05):
one of the many times dad wanders off and disappears is because he gets caught in one
of those you know where they have the lasso on the ground and then the person gets pulled
up into the tree which yeah which they do in like that occurs a lot in children's media
and like how do all these kids know how to make it seems fairly complicated like I understand

(42:27):
the well I also don't understand the do you know how the when people do the the bucket
on top of the door and then it just spills on people I always wondered how do they do
that so that the entire bucket just doesn't fall on the person's head I have no idea I
was not a trap child you know well that's more of a prank than a trap but I was always

(42:50):
like it must be like on a hinge or something to just dump the water without the buck but
they just make it seem like they just put it on just set it it doesn't answer my question
at all but anyway so yeah dad gets caught in a trap and then at one point Todd the fat
kid is running and he falls into like the hole that he made I forget what kind of trap

(43:14):
that was but anyway he twists his ankle like a useless little idiot I wrote I don't remember
what Heather is trying to convince her dad of at some point maybe it's going there to
like make them all go to the camp to investigate what's going on or something but I thought
this was pretty funny she says in the course of trying to convince her dad she's like I
reached for my Bible but dad with God all things are possible isn't that in here somewhere

(43:38):
I thought that was funny because it sounds like I feel like there's a million jokes on
the Simpsons where somebody will say something and like a ledge that is from the Bible and
then somebody else would be like which part and they're like I don't know it's in there
and then so they dad doesn't want to go with them to investigate this camp so Todd and

(44:01):
Heather go themselves and then while they're there the chapel catches on fire and their
plan their plan to try to put out the fire is they find it's just burning and burning
and burning and they're looking around the campgrounds and they find a sleeping bag and
they get it sopping wet and then they just like slap it up against the side of the chapel

(44:27):
and then they're like that didn't work I thought that was pretty funny I don't know if it was
meant to be funny but I thought it was pretty funny but then eventually they do manage to
put out the entire chapel with like three buckets of water the aforementioned buckets
of water trash cans oh trash cans okay but yeah I just don't know how they got the roof

(44:50):
out I don't understand the logistics of that at all but then the cops show well one cop
shows up after they managed to get the fire out a cop shows up the sheriff no less comes
and I don't know if I don't think he actually points his gun at them but he is talking to

(45:11):
them very severely because he clearly thinks they started the fire he I don't know shows
them up against some trees or whatever and frisks them and finds a book of matches in
Todd's pocket and Todd says well it's just common sense to carry matches in the woods
because what if we get lost and we have to start a fire and the sheriff handcuffs them

(45:36):
and takes them back to the jailhouse throws them in jail and Todd is looking at the scratches
on the wall and says do you think these like you know when people do like the tallies on
the wall and and like I don't know the Count of Monte Cristo or whatever he's like do you
think these 20s represents a day and the sheriff is like those represent years and that's how

(46:01):
long you kids are gonna be here and I was at this point I was like okay so clearly this
guy's an asshole I was not expecting a cab from a Christian perspective so I guess good
on you Rod Randall and then I'll let you fit I've been talking for a while you can say

(46:24):
what happens next okay is it in this story or did I dream this they turn off the lights
and cockroaches come out yes my gosh also in this story before this happened no that's
later the rats is that this story my gosh I was like wait was I reading adult books
no this is so the dude turns off the lights these two children are in cells clink clink

(46:51):
cells he turns off the lights and they get covered in cockroaches to where the floor
is moving with cockroaches disgusting and he's like well I can't get a hold of your
parents we're not gonna go find them cuz the girl couldn't remember you know the home
phone number for the cabin where they're visiting so the cop was just like screw y'all hope

(47:14):
they figure out where you are sometime a cab for sure but then the parents come in praise
the Lord Jesus they I don't I don't remember how they found out where they were must have
been the Lord they come in and the daughter's like thank God now my dad's gonna give this

(47:34):
police officer talking to but then no dad thanks the kind police officer probably just
like Jesus shakes his hand all a cab is out the window I guarantee Heather the feather
Heather yeah Heather is like showing him like the marks on her she's like rubbing her wrists

(47:57):
like aren't you gonna yell at this guy he put us in handcuffs I have cockroach bites
on my face but no daddy shakes the hand of this cop but I guarantee Heather the feathers
gonna grow up and she's gonna be an a cab she's gonna she's gonna hate all the cops

(48:18):
I guarantee it after that traumatizing experience so anyway they get out they get out at that
time just like that's what happened to Hitchcock that was his origin story was did you ever
hear about that Alfred Hitchcock when he was a kid is I don't remember I don't know if
it's even he said what he did he did he committed some you know child ish infraction and his

(48:40):
father sent him to the police station with a note and said hand this to the police officer
and then the police officer read the note and like threw him in a cell and then you
know like 10 minutes later whatever came over and was like all right you're free to go with
this is what happens if you're bad and so over at Hitchcock feared and hated cops for
his entire life and that's why he made all these like innocent man on the run movies

(49:05):
and yeah that'll happen to Heather the feather and also there's something else I was gonna
say oh because she says something like well why did the cop throw us in a cell and the
cop just brushes it off like would you rather I let you stay in the woods and then you know
mom and dad laugh ha ha ha what a crazy knucklehead this police officer is yes leave me in the

(49:30):
woods that's well that's why they went out there is because they were trying to figure
out what was going on they clearly wanted to be there so then I don't know I feel like
the end of the book is fairly boring oh I made a note of at one point when they're the
second time dad disappears there's a sentence where it says that mom they're straining to
hear where their dad is and she pulled back her hair to listen and I thought that was

(49:57):
word salad but then I wanted to ask you as a lady with long hair do you ever have to
get your hair out of your ears to listen well I have very thin hair so no but sometimes
because I have very tiny ears I do have to hold them out like elephant ears to be able
to hear so perhaps if I had thick hair I would have to do that thick mom hair maybe that's

(50:23):
what it is I to be honest had imagined her with short hair up until that moment and then
all of a sudden she had long brown thick thick triangle hair at that moment so yeah I would
definitely like to talk about these Jurassic Park references though that you have written
down go for it okay so at we're getting to the end of the book at this point the dad

(50:50):
has gone out to investigate on his own the camp because the Phantom has come and haunted
outside of Heather and Todd's window and the dad's like you know what something is weird
something's going on I'm gonna go outside and see what's going on because Heather at

(51:12):
this point has now seen the wolf and the Phantom directly outside her window I assume it's
a two-story window again I assume it's just like the one in every scary movie scary book
it's the I'm cold window so she's looking out there definitely on the second story the
Phantom has floated up there we find out later he has rigged a one-man concoction that he

(51:39):
is is able to fly himself up to the second story window and scare these children but
anyway probably borrowed it from the passion play or something they do at the local church
where they needed Jesus to rise up above the congregation yeah and Jesus rises himself
we just pulley style raising himself anyway yes the wolf helped him anyway so dad has

(52:07):
now gone outside and is going to the camp to investigate by himself but then he's gone
too long and Heather decides she needs to go as well so she's running over there super
fast lightning fast she's so fast because she's lies a feather and the Lord made her
that way and the wolf starts chasing her this is a real wolf we do find out so that is kind

(52:30):
of scary and the wolf chases her like in and out and in and out of all these buildings
at one point she's in a cabin and she's on these bunk beds and she is attacked by what
sounds like hundreds of rats they just are coming up on the bunk bed they are squeaking

(52:51):
all around her they're coming from above they're coming from below this is nightmare juice
what is there's a movie about rats in a basement and some guy that like I don't know willard
that's the vision I had disgusting so eventually she climbs out a window at that point the
wolf had been blocked out from the door it's out front the rats are inside she climbs out

(53:15):
a window at the back and then she goes in another one and now here's where we get a
little jurassic parkie she is in the mess hall first first I want to say after the rat
incident she makes a flippant remark where she says what's next Raptors with revolvers
yeah yeah I feel like nobody used the word Raptor until Jurassic Park came out so I was

(53:40):
like that's clearly on this guy's mind 100% and it was 100% on his mind when she's like
I'm gonna run into the kitchen away from this wolf because she runs into the mess hall closes
the door of course the wolf runs in through the window at which point she's like I think
it like crashes through the window yeah right it crashes through the window it is a cool

(54:03):
visual such a cool visual that she's like for a moment I thought I should stare in awe
because it was so magnificent him the wolf crashing through all the glass but then I
remembered I should run that's like the children's book equivalent of like heroines and like

(54:25):
YA books who are like I think this man murdered my sister but I'm admiring his lips I just
want him to kiss me that's exactly right she for a split second was in love with the wolf
but then she remembered the wolf is bad so she ran into the kitchen where the wolf is
chasing her she can hear its talons on the tiles clink clink clink I think we know what

(54:49):
that is well today they're called talons because they're reminding us of Raptors and then she's
like whoa what's that a walk-in freezer walk-in freezers have really thick doors and it'll
never be able to get out of there if I go in there and bait it just like my brother
baits things in his traps then the wolf will come in and chase me and then I can lock it

(55:12):
in there and so then of course she runs in there the wolf you know skids in there gets
locked in she jumps out locks it in there but guess what does it stay in there absolutely
not it does not it gets out of there we don't know how we think it's probably the phantom
I think it's probably the wolf talons but we don't know something lets the wolf out

(55:35):
so there's more wolf chasing and stuff like that but definitely Jurassic Park is what's
happening there I could not not picture I was like is she gonna crawl into something
echoey that's like don't don't you know and try to close a thing under the you know under
the thing is she gonna drop some spoons you know you know how they like bump up against

(55:58):
the back of the thing yeah ladle I was trying to think of the word ladle and I couldn't
get it you know so I didn't need them everyone knows something echoey and bump bump bump
everyone knows exactly what I'm saying throughout that entire thing then they can go eat some
shaky jello all this is real actually shaky jello comes first but she didn't have time

(56:22):
for that cause she was admiring the wolf so anyway blah blah blah her brother comes out
oh finally she's like I have the perfect escape there's a chain leak fence it'll never get
me she runs towards the chain leak fence back outside I don't know and then she sees her
wobbly little brother come out of the woods sprained ankle he's made it all the way to

(56:46):
camp and she's like meh he's gonna be eaten he's so stout and wobbly and now he has a
sprained ankle he's gonna be even slower than ever but the wolf chases him she's like hope
he got up a tree bummer man then she realizes she can hear the swoosh of a tree and the
wolf has been trapped by pudge brothers tree trap so that's good yes indeed yep and then

(57:16):
she goes is it the chapel that was on fire that she goes into yeah I think just like
a corner of it got burned okay yeah they took their sweet time putting it out but it didn't
really do a lot this phantom arsonist doesn't seem to know how to start a fire very well
as evidenced by the fact that he had months to do all this and was just sort of like puttering

(57:39):
around putting up rigging to lift he had to get his costume together okay it's about the
fit babe his halloween mask and halloween party city robe off season they even say when
they unmask him I think heather even describes the mask as like oh it was just a cheap halloween

(58:01):
mask I think you would have noticed that a little bit earlier when you pulled it off
his face getting up close to him you don't have to pull a mask off to realize it's a
cheap mask but I guess they did have to do that yeah because they the well you said the
thing about phantoms don't exist in well first of all they say at some point they say like

(58:26):
it could be a ghost or even a phantom which I always thought was an interchangeable term
I wonder if there's some kind of a difference between a phantom and a ghost but I was curious
though that it never does come up like but we are Christian we don't believe in not that
I haven't known people who are very Christian and also very ghost believing in I feel like

(58:53):
it said somewhere like I feel like the dad says something along the lines of of course
it's not a phantom and I do but I do think as far as ghosts for sure that's not generally
a Christian belief because those would be demons so you can believe in demons and maybe

(59:16):
they're saying phantoms and demons would be the same thing I don't know but definitely
not ghosts maybe they didn't want to use the word demon yeah maybe demons too scary but
I don't know the difference really with a phantom and it goes in my mind that is the
same thing and in my mind ghosts are not part of the Christian world I mean yeah I thought

(59:39):
that would be addresses but there is that there's not a lot of tension in this book
is pretty early on Heather says something like you know nothing bad can happen to me
if God's watching over me and you're like okay well I guess there's not going to be
any suspense here then guess who's on my side the guy who rules the universe guess who's
on your side phantom party city and that's it and also the walk-in freezer the powers

(01:00:05):
been out so there's no coldness in there well I want a point of the coldness it was a point
of the door latching I know but I just still feel like that scene in Jurassic Park would
be visually much less interesting if if there was just a big walk-in freezer that was just

(01:00:25):
another room yeah because you got to see like the the Raptor like slipping on the ice and
then the kids slipping on the ice he tries to run out definitely slipping in yeah but
that's not really possible unless it's through the grace of God which we may also see another
example of before this book is over but anyway Heather goes and finds her dad tied up and

(01:00:50):
gagged on like a pew or whatever and she gets him not untied but she gets the gag out and
he tells her the whole thing about like we're not here just for a family vacation I came
up here to investigate because of all the you know spontaneously combusting buildings
in this old abandoned camp but I didn't really think it was gonna be that big of a deal because

(01:01:13):
it's just like a pretty routine thing that I investigated my job so I also thought that
I could turn it into just a family trip and I could do my work here and also spend time
with my family I didn't know that this guy who's setting everything on fire was going
to try to murder us all and also run around in a crappy Halloween costume but then they

(01:01:34):
hear the phantom approaching again and dad says you got to go hide somewhere and she
doesn't have time to leave I guess so she climbs up to the ceiling I guess rafters yeah
and she's like thanks to my skinny ass I can hide on this beam and the phantom won't see

(01:01:59):
me and then the phantom comes in he's all like where's your daughter he does like the
most half-hearted glance around the chapel with his flashlight and there's just like
oh I guess she's not here honestly I think she would have been okay even if she had been
sticking out for my the phantom did not seem very thorough in his investigation she probably
could have hid under the pew where her dad was tied up you know or just like did that

(01:02:22):
thing where you freeze in place and people think you're a statue I'm an angel and then
the phantom is like gonna beat up her dad or brain him or something and she comes up
from behind with a flashlight I think and knocks him about the head and oh I think she
does get the dad untied and he's just pretending to be untied so then the phantom and the dad

(01:02:46):
are fighting and the dad the phantom is clearly winning and she's like oh no I can't let the
phantom win and he's about to like bash over the dad with a chair bash over his head with
a chair so then she comes falling down from the rafters with a flashlight it'd be rough
to lose a fight in front of your daughter she'll never respect me again especially with

(01:03:08):
our conservative gender roles with the fact that his girl daughter saved his tiny thing
his tiny skinny featherweight daughter had to save him from this old ass hardware store
running guy dressing up as a phantom and then there's like they unmask him and there's a

(01:03:32):
whole it's some guy that we saw in one scene earlier who's like running the hardware store
where Todd somehow contrives to fall on the floor under a shelf that has a bunch of axes
just sitting on it with no like plastic covers over them and then like Heather runs in and

(01:03:55):
instead of just getting up he's like help help so Heather runs in to help him and sees
like an axe is poised over his head like about to fall off this shelf and I think he still
winds up just like rolling over something so it doesn't cleave his skull in twain but
it's like why didn't you do that 30 seconds ago instead of just going oh no help me help

(01:04:19):
me and also and then they like say something to the hardware store guy like that doesn't
really seem like a very safe way to arrange your your axes just like willy nilly scattered
all over a rotted shelf that's gonna fall at any moment with nothing covering up their
blades and he's like this isn't a toy store I guess I should I did not suspect that he

(01:04:44):
was going to be the ultimate criminal I guess I should have known because he was such a
nasty jerk I didn't expect it either though I thought he was just gone after that so then
our favorite character the sheriff shows up you know once again cop showing up after anything
after all the danger has been averted like I'm here to save everybody like fuck you you

(01:05:10):
stayed far far away until everything was taken care of yeah they called this guy they called
the cops back when the phantom arrived at the window way back at the house so ages ago
before the rats before their velociraptors before any traps with wolves before any of

(01:05:32):
that they called the cops and now that it's all over and they have captured the phantom
and unmasked him now the cop comes in guns a blazing nobody move all right and then there's
a moment where he's like pointing his gun at like a noise in the trees or bushes or

(01:05:54):
something and then and then mom and tad come ambling out and I was like good thing they're
white yeah yeah 100% yeah yeah he's pointing the gun at the bushes and then they come walking
out I was like this is gonna end this would not end this way if this were IRL you know

(01:06:14):
what I'm saying although when the kids were getting handcuffed I was like I wonder if
this is like secretly a black family yeah until the part where we realize oh no we're
supposed to endorse that this sheriff is terrifying these children for discipline I guess at first
when the dad shook the we're going back to that you know kids in the clank time when

(01:06:37):
the dad shook their hand I thought jail that's what secular people call it when the dad shook
the cops hand I thought the parents had set this up because they had originally told the
kids not to go back to the camp so I was like oh the parents set it up so the kids would

(01:07:03):
be arrested to scare them and that just was not the case at all they just were like pro
bad cop yep and then do you want to talk about the divinity on display at the end of this
book yeah so it really does come to a miracle moment here at the end so you know there's

(01:07:24):
all these Jesus I mean God Jesus to be honest isn't really mentioned but God has really
worked out how everyone is created for each of these moments and what you don't know is
that at the middle of this camp there's been a lamp post which has brought the kids to
this camp it's lit the way to this camp it's been lit this whole time and it's just a real

(01:07:54):
focal point of the story and of the camp oh and then I'm gonna back up just a little bit
here so the I'm gonna read just this part this is the sheriff talking I imagine Fish
and Game will take him back talking about the wolf to wilderness where he belongs the

(01:08:17):
sheriff told me far from civilization and this Christian camp and then Heather's talking
hearing the word Christian reminded me of why the camp was built in the first place
looking around at the cabins and buildings and finally the chapel I prayed that with
the phantom and the wolf out of the way the camp would reopen soon and the kids would

(01:08:39):
come to learn about God just like they used to I walked to the center of the camp and
stood under the lamp post thankful to have had such a bright light when I needed it most
blah blah blah moving down I don't believe it the sheriff confessed he continued to watch
the lamp mystified what we all wondered what is it tell us the sheriff shrugged and filled

(01:09:06):
us in there's no electricity at this camp the power was shut off months ago now that's
a miracle Todd gasped with broad smiles on our faces we all stared at the light above
us then I noticed a plaque at the base of the post with a verse inscribed in it without
hesitating I read it for everyone when Jesus spoke again to the people he said I am the

(01:09:32):
light of the world whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light
of life John 812 amen to that the sheriff agreed still watching the lamp amen to that
so maybe it does get a little hard hitting there at the end but that's not honestly though

(01:09:59):
that ending is not that much crazier than a lot of secular media that needs to do like
a like I feel like there's just a lot of Christmas episodes of like you know not non explicitly
Christian shows that will do something of that order like it's very lifetime yeah so
even that I was like it could be more heavy handed than this so I guess I'll let Jesus

(01:10:25):
be a street lamp yeah they didn't try to convert the guy that was like the you know had been
the phantom or anything like that oh do you think they should have as it wasn't that their
duty is Christian 100% they showed high up and the whole thing is he's trying to scare
everybody away and burn everything down because he was like buying subpar quality materials

(01:10:52):
and then selling it to this camp so everything was just shitty and falling apart and fortunately
none of the children got hurt neither by yeah and there is that's I would say that's what
I object most to in this book is just this idea of like there are repeated references
to like I was like at one point Heather has to jump from her is it her bedroom window

(01:11:17):
she has to jump from like the ledge she gets out of her bedroom window and onto the ledge
because the phantom is in the no I think it's one of the cabins of the camp and she has
to like jump onto this tree but the branches are so thin that she's not sure it'll support
her weight and she's like I think the Lord will look out for me and she makes the jump

(01:11:38):
and like the branch cracked but it didn't break and then the phantom gets all frustrated
and runs off but there's just a lot of moments like that where she's like Jesus is truly
looking out for me and I just always hate that kind of I don't know like that's it's
hard for me to be heartwarming by that because I'm like okay so all the kids in the world

(01:12:00):
who are suffering and dying are just bad like God is not helping them for some reason like
if you want to do the Lord look works in mysterious ways saying it's like at least that's not
putting blame on anybody like what what about children who get you know childhood cancer

(01:12:22):
and die why is God not looking out for them but like oh I better make sure Heather makes
this jump yep and I'll tell you as a kid I would have been a very Heather person even
though I wouldn't say I had an easy childhood or anything like that but I was definitely
like oh thank you Jesus and I don't know like I don't know I don't know what I'm trying

(01:12:52):
to say there but I hear you I am on your side I don't love those parts I don't know what
to say about it that's what I'm gonna say is that a thing that makes you feel like special
when you're a kid like to say oh he's looking out for me I don't know if it's special but

(01:13:15):
it makes you have us it it was a security I think for sure okay yeah I was just wondering
because you know kids all kids want to feel special so I was like is that a thing where
it's like the Lord's looking out for me and that means I'm really great or is it just
like because my parents were smart enough to educate me in the ways of Christianity

(01:13:41):
or something no I don't I never felt like it was like I'm watched out for and others
aren't or I'm special therefore I'm watched out for it was just like in our in my life
it just felt like a fact like God is watching out for me period and there's still some of

(01:14:03):
me that is still still has a little of that part you know and it doesn't necessarily mean
all good things will happen at all so I think that's where the my issue lies is like well
all she will always be safe all good things will happen she won't be eaten by a wolf she
will not fall out of a tree even if she jumps to the highest height like she can make all

(01:14:26):
the worst choices and everything will be fine like I think that's a negative that's a lie
a lie that young chill or any Christian really can be told and many can believe and that
I probably believed or tried to believe at some points like I can believe God is watching

(01:14:51):
out for me but not all good things will happen to me so I don't know if that makes sense
but yeah it doesn't have to make sense so I'm still I'm still deconstructing my own
stuff you know so leaving aside the the Christian element how did you feel about this book as

(01:15:12):
a as a story well I got through it I found it so annoying though those those cliffhanger
actors to be honest I just found them so annoying so I don't think I would recommend it I would
definitely like to read a different one a different heebie-jeebies are just a different

(01:15:36):
book probably different book I can't imagine this author being one that gets better but
hey we could try another heebie-jeebie did you read the preview at the end of the book
for the the upcoming book in the series you want to go ahead and look at it now and get
your reaction in real time I'm curious about all the different lessons that we are going

(01:15:57):
to be learning in these heebie-jeebies books because the plots do not especially seem to
lend themselves to religious discussion the rat that ate poodles am I reading all this
now I just wanted to get you to look at the I think there's a image of the cover somewhere

(01:16:23):
oh that cover does look inviting actually I am very curious about the cover so this
the rat that ate poodles cover is a child in bed terrified with the blanket cover pulled
up and then what looks more like a bat but I guess is a rat coming a giant bat rat I

(01:16:44):
guess coming through the wall and this one does actually look pretty evil big teeth big
claws angry eyes big old snout also I thought poodles was a dog but maybe poodles is this
child I'm not not seeing you think the kids name is poodles I mean who knows I guess I

(01:17:04):
was assuming it was multiple dogs like he's going around the neighborhood but also I would
be very surprised if they like permanently killed pets and a children's series so I'm
assuming it's a title that lies I'm assuming there's one dog named poodles so wait would
somebody name their dog that is a poodle poodles I guess that's a stupid name I hope that's

(01:17:28):
not what it is because I think that's dumb and I think you're dumb for saying it I can
read the back of the book for that one even though it's a spoiler alert if we do read
it you'll hear it again Daniel Larkin is cleaning out the garage when he spills some mysterious
bottles from his dad's old chemistry set he intends to hide the evidence and keep his

(01:17:49):
mouth shut but that becomes more difficult when a giant mutant rat grows from out of
the chemicals Daniel is terrified by the giant red-eyed pink-tailed dog-eating rodent and
plagued by his own guilty conscience in this fun creepy and ultimately uplifting story

(01:18:10):
of a kid who learns that covering up a big mistake can be the biggest mistake of all
yeah I mean poodles question it that sounds like a lesson that you could learn in any
children's book so it's the kind of lesson I endorse yeah not sure how much I endorse
the God made me skinny because man all the tribulations how many skinny children do you

(01:18:39):
think were helped out of a body dysmorphia crisis by this book telling them don't worry
there's a reason you're not a big fat fatty I hope lots skinny skinny people are definitely
the ones who need to be the most self-conscious about their bodies it's my understanding
as I become older and a woman it's my understanding that all body types are self-conscious in

(01:19:09):
some ways I don't doubt that that's I'm not saying that nobody who is not fat has complexes
I'm just saying that like it's a very selective thing like you're really stacking the odds
in your favor to be like I want to tell a story about how you shouldn't be self-conscious
of your body type because God made you that way and you're beautiful so what what you

(01:19:32):
know perceived flaw am I going to give to this main character well she's just too skinny
and light and we never addressed the pudgy brother that's what I'm saying is like he
couldn't he couldn't come up with a way to sell that moral if the character was not if
the character was you know chunky as I was as a child it's just a very selective again

(01:19:56):
part of my problem with family values media is that they like don't really address things
you know it's sort of like we'll address what we can address and just pretend the rest doesn't
exist yeah do you have any final I've complained enough about you and all of your precious

(01:20:16):
Jesus loving media do you have any final thoughts I want to be clear I do not generally like
Jesus loving media I love Jesus not the media no I don't think I have any parting thoughts
you should go check out that other podcast that we mentioned before teen creeps yes teen

(01:20:42):
creeps after the something after the rapture party I'm just confirming that is correct
before I leave off but they're really funny they also have a I think it's the same people
sinful sticker club so go check them out I'm just gonna endorse everything that they are

(01:21:08):
okay that's enough chilling for other people like us radar stuff somewhere positively say
that you like me better than you like Jose email us if you have any I don't know I guess
if you I offended you with all of my anti-christian talk here email us at blackmagictreehousepodatgmail.com

(01:21:30):
Instagram blackmagic treehouse pod we have a Facebook group that you can probably find
if you just look for blackmagic treehouse podcast where we talk about I don't know the types
of things that we talked about on this podcast is there any other house cleaning that we
need to do I feel like that's what we say at the end of the episode rest in peace Jose

(01:21:53):
please Ba delle belle