November 18, 2025 • 25 mins
In this episode of Mental Fitness Conversations, host Mundanara Bayles chats with Aaliyah Bula - a proud Tongan, Wiradjuri and Kamilaroi woman, athlete and community leader - about what mental fitness means to her.
Aaliyah’s journey is one of strength, connection and cultural pride. Aaliyah has always balanced her passion for culture with her drive in sport. She’s played Open Women’s footy with the Redfern All Blacks and continues her rugby league journey with the Canterbury Bulldogs U19s Tarsha Gale squad. In 2025, she joined the Wests Tigers NRLW as a development player.
Aaliyah’s insights remind us that mental fitness is about surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, staying proud of where you come from and trusting your own path.
Whether you’re an athlete, a student or just navigating life’s ups and downs, this episode is a reminder that small actions - like leaning on your mates, practising gratitude and staying connected - can make a big difference to your mental wellbeing.
Resources and links
Find out more about Gotcha4Life at www.gotcha4life.org and follow us on Instagram and Facebook @gotcha4life and on Instagram @blackmagicwomanpodcast.
The Gotcha4Life Mental Fitness Gym App is free and available now. Download it today and start your first mental workout online.
Follow Aaliyah on Instagram @aaliyahbula
About the podcast
Hosted by award-winning Indigenous businesswoman and Gotcha4Life Board Member Mundanara Bayles, and produced in partnership with Black Magic Woman, Mental Fitness Conversations centres First Nations voices in powerful conversations about culture, connection and what truly sustains mental fitness.
Content note
This episode includes discussion of mental health challenges which may be confronting. Please practise self-care and reach out if you need support. Services available 24/7 include 13YARN on 13 92 76 and Lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Podcast unite our voices.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Woman podcast acknowledges the
traditional owners of the land which we recorded this episode.
We also acknowledge the traditional owners of the land from
where you, the listener or viewer are tuning in. We
would like to pay our respects to elders both past
and present. We acknowledged that this land always was and
always will be Aboriginal land. This podcast talks about mental health, suicide,
(00:33):
and lived experience. If that brings anything up for you,
please take care while listening and remember you don't need
to worry alone. Welcome to Mental Fitness Conversations, a podcast
about how real people build their mental fitness through connection, community,
and simple everyday actions. Brought to you by Gotcha for
Life in partnership with Black Magic Woman. Here's your host,
(00:56):
Monda and Narrabels.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Welcome back to another amazing episode of the Black Magic
Woman and Got Your for Life partnership series. I really
hope you've enjoyed the last couple of yarns, but this
is an episode that I've been dying to record because
it's with my niece, who I've witnessed over the last
(01:21):
kind of seven to eight years. Just going to an amazing, young,
deadly black woman. So Aliah Bulla, Welcome to the Black
Magic Woman Podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, definitely, so Alia BULLA tongue in an Aboriginal. My
mobs were Adrika Millroy from Wellington and Kuna barberan Smith
and Sutherlands. A bit about me? So I was married
last year. My anniversary is coming up in seven days.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Oh look.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Big shout out to the other half.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yes, the other half.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
So most people know him as Reem in the community. Yeah,
and in the NR rail for the Tigers.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
He's a flying Fiji and abriage Fiji jarream Bula. If
you don't know Bayley's last name, yes, but your your
maiden name?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Hello? No?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Tell us about growing up in your family as a
tongue an Aboriginal kid.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Oh. I loved it. I loved being amongst four other kids.
We always had a good family. Things aren't always perfect,
but I wouldn't wish for it to be any other way.
We're all sporty. A few of us are still playing sport,
some of some others. My two older siblings are. They
have children now, So I guess our family's just expanding,
(02:45):
but nothing but good memories. I love my childhood because
I know that all those different things molded me to
be who I am today.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And two very different cultures, right.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah, but also have a lot of similarities to Dad
and Mum would always talk about that and how the
Tongue and Aboriginal cultures are very different but also have
a lot of things in common, like with our tribes,
like we have tribes and tongue in too. I feel
like that family aspect of both cultures is very similar
to you.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Got the biggest mob, Yeah, biggest mob.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Literally you'd think that Tonguan's are bad, and then you
go over to our originals the exact same thing. Four
hundred billion cousins, all of it. So I feel like
big families a lot of kids is very normal to
me on both sides.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Thinking about your dad and your deadly mum, biggest shout
out to you, my sister Margaret, the founder of Red
Friend Youth connect RYC and also.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Your dad Solomon Harmono.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
My next question is going to be who have been
some of your biggest influences growing up?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I would say my mom and my dad. I say
they're both very like they instilled morals and things into
me from a young young age that we're just so
easy to carry through growing up as a young teen
through to being a young adult now. Dad coming from
a sporting respect, but also Mum who was also sporty,
(04:06):
very sporty, but basketball, yeah, basketball, but going into a
different kind of role in the community. She's been an
inspiration for me too. So another thing, they're both different things,
but they both are kind of interconnected and it kind
of ties into ry C two from the aspect of
culture and also like sport and fitness and things. So yeah,
(04:26):
I guess those two would definitely be my inspirations growing up.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Coming back to culture.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
When I think about tongue and culture, I think about
faith because as I grew up in Brisbane for the
last thirty years and a lot of you know, a
lot of the tongue in community, Pacific Island of community,
Fijian pen I'm married to Fijian as well. You know,
church is definitely a big aspect of the kind of
(04:53):
life of Pacific Islanders. So talking about culture and even
thinking about you know, connection to country and I see
you go out two different like excursions of field trips
with your mum and uryc.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, you get to take them back to country.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yeah, talk about talk to me about that in terms
of you know how important that is, especially for someone
like you're living here in the big city and the smoke.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
And I was I would probably like lean into that.
Like being in the city, we don't get to just
pause for a second and kind of take time to reflect.
But getting away from it, so as you said, like
taking the kids away, we haven't been able to do
it for the past year just because of the carnival
actually being canceled. For context, it's a Gilgandra Windmill candival,
the best candival in the world. It's basketball. We take
(05:41):
a few kids from Ryice down there each year go
down to gil and stay at Uncle Ralph Naden's accommodation there,
and he's just like it's the most beautiful place. It's serene,
it's it's peaceful, and I think, yeah, for me, like
going back to culture and country is going back to
gil and just kind of I don't know, just letting
(06:03):
your hair down, just being free and taking in the
environment and everything about that so relaxing and so peaceful
and it's kind of like a reset in the way
that end of your thing everyone looks forward to doing
and then back to the big.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Smoke, back to the kind of chaos.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah, one, I describe it as that.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, and sometimes you get lost amongst all there's chaos,
especially when it comes to.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Just trying to find yourself in.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
The world and you're young and you're playing sport and
you're also working. I want to ask you about the
work that you do.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I know that you're at Red.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Friend you connect and I know you've done some different
roles there over the.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Last couple of years.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
What led you to doing the work that you're doing
at URYC.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Well, ultimately following in my parents' footsteps.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
It's like being of service to your community.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, And if it only felt natural it
grow from where it did from the block over ten
years ago to a few different spots and now, oh,
I see. I feel like it was only natural that
we did go into that after school. But also it
was just like you kind of wanted to get involved
in it because you saw how much buying and it
(07:20):
was happening from everyone in the community. It was just
a fun thing to be involved in and we were
really lucky as kids as the children of the founders,
and to be able to just slip into that role
and pretty much already know what we were doing just
because we were around it so much.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
So you started off as volunteering basically no choice, That's
that's what you do, right. This is about those cultural
and community obligations, Yeah, which then kind of tie into
family obligations.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
You do anything, Yeah, your mum.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And dad arcs of you, and sometimes they don't even
need arks, you just know.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah. Yeah, definitely in the Tongun culture, you get the
look my.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Kids get it from family. I was gonna ask Sat
in terms of you know, you're playing professional sports, yeah,
in terms of just thinking about you know, juggling you know, life,
your career, yeah, and you know playing sports.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Yea, how do you do that? Tell us what it's like.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
So when I was in season, we're off season right now,
so I was an ow development for this year for Tigers.
I've grown up. I kind of came into Rep footy
a bit later before that. I was playing basketball through
my juniors. My first year was at Manly, so that's
where that comes from. That was Latasha Gal. I think
that's under nineteenes. My first year. That was such a
(08:44):
good year, probably one of my favorite years playing footy
because I didn't know a lot about the game itself,
but I just knew that I loved footy and I
just knew that natural footy will kind of take me
to where I needed to be. And so that was
my first year in Manly and then I ended up
getting the opportunity from there to be a development player
at Para and now at Tigers. So that's kind of
(09:05):
my journey in sport with Rugby League and also a
bit of basketball in the background. But now I don't know,
I'm kind of taking a different approach. I don't know
if that's like at Live or what it is, but
I'm starting to realize that I have a different passion.
I still love footy. My favorite favorite footy is Knockout
Footy Black Fellow Footy.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
And he just came back from the knock Out.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah yeah, yeah, tell us you.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was the player's player at the Queensland the MC. I've
in Brisbane recently. Yeah did you win?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Did you take that out?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
No? We lost the Grand Final page you lose to
Murray Binders. Yeah yeah, such a yeah Queenslay Mob, such
a good team. Even though we lost, I still had
such a good experience. And those community kinds kind of
remind you of like why you fell in love with
the game in the first place. And you're kind of
just allowed to just play the star that you play
(10:00):
without having to worry about structures, without having to worry
about people above you. You there's no pressure.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
And you're supported just to go out and do your thing.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah, and I perform best in that environment, I feel like,
And so yeah, that's kind of well, things are changing
in my path. But I'm so happy and grateful and
I don't feel like I'm out of place like for
a second.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
So everything's going good. Yeah, life is good.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Yeah, life is good.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well when when life's not good?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Right, Yeah, And just thinking about the work that we do,
gotcha for life. It's around, you know, building your village,
making sure that nobody ever has to worry alone.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And there's a lot of our mob that are, you know,
struggling with their mental health and just the highs and
lows of life in general, right, but in particular growing
up in a black community, abitual community, being in Redfern,
there's so much grieving, there's so much sorry, business you're
constantly around young people at redfernd Youth Connect, right, so
(11:03):
you know exactly what I'm talking about. But when it
comes to your mental health, how do you you know,
for instance, you lost the Grand Final, something you really
wanted so bad, and that would affect people. You see
the tears, You could see people down and out. How
do you pick yourself? How do you pick yourself up
(11:26):
in those times?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, this is good because this is still fresh in
my mind.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Let's unpack it.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
So, yeah, we lost the Semis in Redfern, sorry the
Semis at the knockout playing for Red Fern, it was
a really close game. It came right down to the wire,
and naturally you kind of look back at those times
in the game where you could have done things better,
you feel guilt. All those feelings come to you, and
(11:52):
I guess like that later that night, I just felt
really down. All those feelings come to you, because that's
what happens, like when you're kind of reflecting, not the
best stuff comes to mind. But I think it's so
important to like use your outlets, like Reem is a
massive outlet for me. We kind of got to talk
through those things and actually some of the thoughts that
I was thinking about myself were different from what the
truth was. And to have an ear to just be
(12:15):
there and kind of filter through those thoughts and remind
you of the truth is so good. And I think
that's something that has been so helpful for me throughout
my footy journey, but also in life, like even when
I'm feeling down, When you're in your own head, it's
easy to get carried away in your own thoughts. But
as you said, leaning on your village, leaning on the
people around you, and not having to kind of just
(12:37):
do things on your own is so important because those
soundboards for you can be so helpful and help you
actually realize reality.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
And professional football, like, you know, your husband is playing
at the highest level, so he gets it. So the
best person to talk to about your game and where
you kind of thought you didn't do well and stuff
and what in terms of like trying to get at
the top, Like what does it take earlier to be
(13:07):
a professional athlete?
Speaker 4 (13:08):
What does it take?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I would use I'm going to go off of Reem
as an example, because I feel like he's been in
there for a few years.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
I think it's how old is it.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
He's twenty three Okay, yeah, we're talking about Just for
people that don't know Harry, we're talking about and you
might not follow NRL.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Or Rugby league.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Yeah, twenty three four seasons and the NRL seasons in
the NRL the biggest thing that I've seen him. There's
a few things. One, he's a very disciplined person. When
there's no routine or structure, he kind of like not
freaks out, but it's not nature to him. So I
think just by being a really disciplined, routine person, it's
(13:47):
helped him to apply those things into footy. Another thing
is he's just a good person off the field, and
I think blessings come to him because of the way
he carries himself and people and positivity kind of radiates
from him, but it's returned to him too, because the
way he carries himself, it's not a facade, like that's
just who he is as a person, and so opportunities
(14:11):
come from that. And also his hard work. That's another thing.
It doesn't come easy. He's obviously a naturally talented player.
He's one of the most naturally talented player players I've
ever seen.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And commentators they point this out on it so it's
not just his wife.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I know guys, he is genuinely Yeah, he can play
footy and it's just natural second nature to him, but
it's backed up with hard work. It's not just natural
ability that gets you there. It's discipline and it's being
a good person off the field. Give him back.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Community.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, that community is very important.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
The community. Nobody really would know.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
But you know, for a couple of years I was
seeing you when he was just your boyfriend. When he
first introduced me to him at our yc yous were
youth workers.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Yeah, yeah, that's how volunteers. We met at doing youth work.
So he cou'd come down from Queensland, not playing footy
yet and just looking for a job and he came to.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
So you fell into your path, Lay, how's this? Yeah
I didn't know that story, You didn't, Yeah, but I
just saw.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
Him around kids.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I saw you around kids, and how these little people,
these young people, these young adults, some of them are
finished you twelve now like my nephew Bowali. We got
little tin or there and Tiger Piece and gied as
little girl Amani. They look up to you, especially those
little girls Lee, They look up to you and the
little boys look up to Jerreim as well. What does
(15:45):
that feel like to know that you're the next generation
these little people want to be like you.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah, it's like you never think, being a young person
that you'd become that person for someone one day. You
kind of look up to those people when you're young
and be like wow, like I wish I could be
like them. I don't think I'll ever get there. I
don't know if I will get there, But it just
happens naturally as you go throughout life, and especially especially
being in the community, when you strive for things and
(16:15):
you grow up, automatically you become a role model to
the young kids in your in your community. Yeah, it's
still kind of hitting me that that's happening. Like even
with Ani Kuana from Redfern asking me to present jersey
to the jerseys to the little girls in Redfern and
her saying just saying those things like girls look up
to us, it's still surreal, Like it's kind of pinched
(16:36):
me because Yeah, because you was that, I was that
little girl looking after someone, never thinking that I could
be there.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I keep thinking about the strength of our culture, you know,
just keeping strong mentally strong, physically strong. What does kind
of being culturally strong or even mentally fit, What does
that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Yeah? I always would relate it to sport because it's
the best way that I understand things. And so when
you're physically training and you're coming physically fit, you're putting
in work almost every single day in order to get
to an end goal. In the same sense, I would
say that mental fitness is those things, those little things
that you do to keep yourself in check every single day.
Journaling is the thing that I love to do. The
(17:19):
work that got your full life does is kind of
flowing into that same thing. As you build your physical muscles,
you do with your mental and so building those things
each day, getting into those habits can really help you
to get an overall better mental wellbeing. And so yeah,
that's when you say mental fitness, that's kind of what
comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I'm thinking now about the young people some messages. Now,
if we could talk to especially younger people listening to
this podcast, like, what messages do you want to share
with them?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
I have a million, but probably the thing that comes
to mind is being comfortable in your own skin, being
comfortable being yourself. It's easy to compare yourself as a
young kid. It's easy to even look up to people
like me or well even other people. This is just
going off of things that I did as a young person.
I'd look up to people and think I'd never get there,
(18:10):
or think kind of compare myself and yeah, the saying
is comparison is the theft of joy. So I think
just being content with where you are right now and
knowing that with trust, you're going to get there eventually.
And that's just what happens when you grow up, like
things kind of fall into place, and if they don't,
you have people around you who will also help you.
(18:30):
So my two main things are just being comfortable being
who you are, don't change for anyone, and just trusting
that things will work out for you. But also if
things don't go to plan, that you have a community
behind you that will back you one hundred percent, that
will support you at the drop of a hat. So
that would probably be.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
My besit Yeah, be you yeah, back yourself.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Yeah. I love that.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Especially growing up in an Aboriginal community, there's a lot
of outside noise, yeah, and there's a lot of negative
yeah narratives, especially mainstream media that impact us impacts anybody.
You know, when people are talking about you and it's
not right, it's completely wrong, that has an effect, right,
(19:13):
a negative effect on our mental health.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
For some of the mob that are listening.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
That might be struggling right now, what would you say
to them?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I would say that everything's going to be okay. I
would say to lean into your village, whether that be
your family or even your school community. If you go
to a youth center, being the peers around you, don't
be afraid to lean into them. That would be my advice.
And just keep in check, keep yourself in check mentally,
do things for yourself, self care things every single day
(19:45):
so that you can kind of put yourself in the
best possible place mentally, and then it'll be easier for you.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And I was just thinking in terms of community centers
and having access to people like your mum and dad
to yearn with, Like, how lucky to have grown up
in these communities that not a lot of Aboriginal people
Black Fellow's Mob have have had that privilege.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yeah, I was so lucky.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
We've got Redfern Youth Connect, We've had the community center
on the block. When I was growing up in Redfern
we had the settlement when we were in Waterloo, and
Elizabeth Street we had the factory, so we could go
between different places.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
So Redford community is so lucky that there's so many
different things.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I know, thinking about next year now in the future,
what's your next plan like obviously NRLW, Yeah, you're still
giving the system.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Yeah, what does next year look like? What does the
future look like? For ali Abula?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
To be honest, it's just going to be following where
my passion leads me. And for me, I'm faith centered,
so and also speaking with my husband too, and just
kind of trusting the journey that I'm going on. I
do feel like these are going to look a bit
different next year, and I'm so happy and fine with that.
And you know, I have faith that whatever will happen,
(21:09):
I'll be okay and things will work out exactly has
how they plan to work out.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
And that's when you do grow up in a faith
based family and culture and community, and I hear it
with my husband's family.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Always know the Lord will look after you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Keep doing the right things, keep doing the things that
you're meant to be doing, be of service, do good
in the world, be there for other there's all those
little things that you're kind of reminded of that that
pays off. I'm excited for you, my girl. I'm just
so it's that kind of proud auntie moment.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
When I was watching you on the.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
TV, watching you and then seeing you get Players Player,
I was like, man, your future is so big.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
The world is there always star.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
You've got the most amazing family, and you come from
the most amazing cultures.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
You're destined for greatness.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So thank you Watch Out World, thank you for being
part of this amazing partnership where we get to talk
about the great work that we're doing at Gotcha for Life.
And if people have never heard about the foundation, jump
on have a look at our show notes. We'll put
(22:24):
some of those kind of websites and resources. We've launched
our Mental Fitness Gym, so you can download on your
phone the app and you can check in.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
And I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I actually check in when I'm not feeling one hundred
percent being a busy mum, being a wife, trying to
run a business, doing a podcast on the side, and
also dealing with a lot of those culture and community obligations.
But this was such an uplifting and light conversation that
I'm pretty sure most people that are listening are going
to feel really energized to hear your voice, to hear
(23:02):
your story, and hopefully, I reckon you're going to have
a few more supporters now. Thank you, so keep up
the good work and to all the mob at Redfern
Youth Connect, love you all, to all the young people
that are at the program that use the services. I
know for a fact that my sister been away for instance,
(23:23):
wouldn't be able to work full time if she didn't
have the support from your mum and dad. So thanks
for the work that you and your family and just
being of service to our community. It hasn't gone unnoticed. Yeah,
thank you so much. To everyone that's been listening. Thank
you for just following the journey, especially here at Black
(23:44):
Magic Women. Having people like Aleah on this podcast just
gives you a bit of an insight into the different
lives that we live as both Aboriginal and tonge Why
can't we be both?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
But yeah, we're not all the same.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
We're all different people that have different experiences and our lifeves.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Aren't all about trauma.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
There's so much that we're doing and so much that
should be celebrated. And this podcast and the partnership We've
Got You for Love is also an opportunity to celebrate
the richness of averageinal culture. So thank you for being
part of it. Until next time, by us for an hour.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Thanks for tuning in to mental fitness conversations. Keep building
your emotional muscles with the free Mental Fitness Gym app
packed with tools, tips, and everyday actions to support your
mental fitness. Download it from the App Store or Google
play Store or visit the Mentalfitnessgym dot org. If anything
in this episode brought something up for you, you don't
(24:44):
have to worry alone. Reach out to a trusted friend
or family member and know that support is available. You
can contact Lifeline on one three double one, one four
or one three yarn at one three nine two seven
six for free and confidential support for Aboriginal and Torrostrad
is Lander people. If you enjoy this episode, leave us
(25:04):
a rating, share it with someone in your village, or
drop us a message. We'd love to hear what you think,
and don't forget to follow Black Magic Woman and Gotcha
for Life on all socials to keep the conversation going.
Podcast unite our voices.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Woman podcast acknowledges the
traditional owners of the land which we recorded this episode.
We also acknowledge the traditional owners of the land from
where you, the listener or viewer are tuning in. We
would like to pay our respects to elders both past
and present. We acknowledged that this land always was and
always will be Aboriginal land. This podcast talks about mental health, suicide,
(00:33):
and lived experience. If that brings anything up for you,
please take care while listening and remember you don't need
to worry alone. Welcome to Mental Fitness Conversations, a podcast
about how real people build their mental fitness through connection, community,
and simple everyday actions. Brought to you by Gotcha for
Life in partnership with Black Magic Woman. Here's your host,
(00:56):
Monda and Narrabels.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Welcome back to another amazing episode of the Black Magic
Woman and Got Your for Life partnership series. I really
hope you've enjoyed the last couple of yarns, but this
is an episode that I've been dying to record because
it's with my niece, who I've witnessed over the last
(01:21):
kind of seven to eight years. Just going to an amazing, young,
deadly black woman. So Aliah Bulla, Welcome to the Black
Magic Woman Podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, definitely, so Alia BULLA tongue in an Aboriginal. My
mobs were Adrika Millroy from Wellington and Kuna barberan Smith
and Sutherlands. A bit about me? So I was married
last year. My anniversary is coming up in seven days.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Oh look.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Big shout out to the other half.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yes, the other half.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
So most people know him as Reem in the community. Yeah,
and in the NR rail for the Tigers.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
He's a flying Fiji and abriage Fiji jarream Bula. If
you don't know Bayley's last name, yes, but your your
maiden name?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Hello? No?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Tell us about growing up in your family as a
tongue an Aboriginal kid.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Oh. I loved it. I loved being amongst four other kids.
We always had a good family. Things aren't always perfect,
but I wouldn't wish for it to be any other way.
We're all sporty. A few of us are still playing sport,
some of some others. My two older siblings are. They
have children now, So I guess our family's just expanding,
(02:45):
but nothing but good memories. I love my childhood because
I know that all those different things molded me to
be who I am today.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
And two very different cultures, right.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah, but also have a lot of similarities to Dad
and Mum would always talk about that and how the
Tongue and Aboriginal cultures are very different but also have
a lot of things in common, like with our tribes,
like we have tribes and tongue in too. I feel
like that family aspect of both cultures is very similar
to you.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Got the biggest mob, Yeah, biggest mob.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Literally you'd think that Tonguan's are bad, and then you
go over to our originals the exact same thing. Four
hundred billion cousins, all of it. So I feel like
big families a lot of kids is very normal to
me on both sides.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Thinking about your dad and your deadly mum, biggest shout
out to you, my sister Margaret, the founder of Red
Friend Youth connect RYC and also.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Your dad Solomon Harmono.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
My next question is going to be who have been
some of your biggest influences growing up?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I would say my mom and my dad. I say
they're both very like they instilled morals and things into
me from a young young age that we're just so
easy to carry through growing up as a young teen
through to being a young adult now. Dad coming from
a sporting respect, but also Mum who was also sporty,
(04:06):
very sporty, but basketball, yeah, basketball, but going into a
different kind of role in the community. She's been an
inspiration for me too. So another thing, they're both different things,
but they both are kind of interconnected and it kind
of ties into ry C two from the aspect of
culture and also like sport and fitness and things. So yeah,
(04:26):
I guess those two would definitely be my inspirations growing up.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Coming back to culture.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
When I think about tongue and culture, I think about
faith because as I grew up in Brisbane for the
last thirty years and a lot of you know, a
lot of the tongue in community, Pacific Island of community,
Fijian pen I'm married to Fijian as well. You know,
church is definitely a big aspect of the kind of
(04:53):
life of Pacific Islanders. So talking about culture and even
thinking about you know, connection to country and I see
you go out two different like excursions of field trips
with your mum and uryc.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Yeah, you get to take them back to country.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yeah, talk about talk to me about that in terms
of you know how important that is, especially for someone
like you're living here in the big city and the smoke.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
And I was I would probably like lean into that.
Like being in the city, we don't get to just
pause for a second and kind of take time to reflect.
But getting away from it, so as you said, like
taking the kids away, we haven't been able to do
it for the past year just because of the carnival
actually being canceled. For context, it's a Gilgandra Windmill candival,
the best candival in the world. It's basketball. We take
(05:41):
a few kids from Ryice down there each year go
down to gil and stay at Uncle Ralph Naden's accommodation there,
and he's just like it's the most beautiful place. It's serene,
it's it's peaceful, and I think, yeah, for me, like
going back to culture and country is going back to
gil and just kind of I don't know, just letting
(06:03):
your hair down, just being free and taking in the
environment and everything about that so relaxing and so peaceful
and it's kind of like a reset in the way
that end of your thing everyone looks forward to doing
and then back to the big.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Smoke, back to the kind of chaos.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yeah, one, I describe it as that.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, and sometimes you get lost amongst all there's chaos,
especially when it comes to.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Just trying to find yourself in.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
The world and you're young and you're playing sport and
you're also working. I want to ask you about the
work that you do.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I know that you're at Red.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Friend you connect and I know you've done some different
roles there over the.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Last couple of years.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
What led you to doing the work that you're doing
at URYC.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Well, ultimately following in my parents' footsteps.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
It's like being of service to your community.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, And if it only felt natural it
grow from where it did from the block over ten
years ago to a few different spots and now, oh,
I see. I feel like it was only natural that
we did go into that after school. But also it
was just like you kind of wanted to get involved
in it because you saw how much buying and it
(07:20):
was happening from everyone in the community. It was just
a fun thing to be involved in and we were
really lucky as kids as the children of the founders,
and to be able to just slip into that role
and pretty much already know what we were doing just
because we were around it so much.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
So you started off as volunteering basically no choice, That's
that's what you do, right. This is about those cultural
and community obligations, Yeah, which then kind of tie into
family obligations.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
You do anything, Yeah, your mum.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And dad arcs of you, and sometimes they don't even
need arks, you just know.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah. Yeah, definitely in the Tongun culture, you get the
look my.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Kids get it from family. I was gonna ask Sat
in terms of you know, you're playing professional sports, yeah,
in terms of just thinking about you know, juggling you know, life,
your career, yeah, and you know playing sports.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Yea, how do you do that? Tell us what it's like.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
So when I was in season, we're off season right now,
so I was an ow development for this year for Tigers.
I've grown up. I kind of came into Rep footy
a bit later before that. I was playing basketball through
my juniors. My first year was at Manly, so that's
where that comes from. That was Latasha Gal. I think
that's under nineteenes. My first year. That was such a
(08:44):
good year, probably one of my favorite years playing footy
because I didn't know a lot about the game itself,
but I just knew that I loved footy and I
just knew that natural footy will kind of take me
to where I needed to be. And so that was
my first year in Manly and then I ended up
getting the opportunity from there to be a development player
at Para and now at Tigers. So that's kind of
(09:05):
my journey in sport with Rugby League and also a
bit of basketball in the background. But now I don't know,
I'm kind of taking a different approach. I don't know
if that's like at Live or what it is, but
I'm starting to realize that I have a different passion.
I still love footy. My favorite favorite footy is Knockout
Footy Black Fellow Footy.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
And he just came back from the knock Out.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah yeah, yeah, tell us you.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was the player's player at the Queensland the MC. I've
in Brisbane recently. Yeah did you win?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Did you take that out?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
No? We lost the Grand Final page you lose to
Murray Binders. Yeah yeah, such a yeah Queenslay Mob, such
a good team. Even though we lost, I still had
such a good experience. And those community kinds kind of
remind you of like why you fell in love with
the game in the first place. And you're kind of
just allowed to just play the star that you play
(10:00):
without having to worry about structures, without having to worry
about people above you. You there's no pressure.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
And you're supported just to go out and do your thing.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah, and I perform best in that environment, I feel like,
And so yeah, that's kind of well, things are changing
in my path. But I'm so happy and grateful and
I don't feel like I'm out of place like for
a second.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
So everything's going good. Yeah, life is good.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Yeah, life is good.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Well when when life's not good?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Right, Yeah, And just thinking about the work that we do,
gotcha for life. It's around, you know, building your village,
making sure that nobody ever has to worry alone.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And there's a lot of our mob that are, you know,
struggling with their mental health and just the highs and
lows of life in general, right, but in particular growing
up in a black community, abitual community, being in Redfern,
there's so much grieving, there's so much sorry, business you're
constantly around young people at redfernd Youth Connect, right, so
(11:03):
you know exactly what I'm talking about. But when it
comes to your mental health, how do you you know,
for instance, you lost the Grand Final, something you really
wanted so bad, and that would affect people. You see
the tears, You could see people down and out. How
do you pick yourself? How do you pick yourself up
(11:26):
in those times?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, this is good because this is still fresh in
my mind.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
Let's unpack it.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
So, yeah, we lost the Semis in Redfern, sorry the
Semis at the knockout playing for Red Fern, it was
a really close game. It came right down to the wire,
and naturally you kind of look back at those times
in the game where you could have done things better,
you feel guilt. All those feelings come to you, and
(11:52):
I guess like that later that night, I just felt
really down. All those feelings come to you, because that's
what happens, like when you're kind of reflecting, not the
best stuff comes to mind. But I think it's so
important to like use your outlets, like Reem is a
massive outlet for me. We kind of got to talk
through those things and actually some of the thoughts that
I was thinking about myself were different from what the
truth was. And to have an ear to just be
(12:15):
there and kind of filter through those thoughts and remind
you of the truth is so good. And I think
that's something that has been so helpful for me throughout
my footy journey, but also in life, like even when
I'm feeling down, When you're in your own head, it's
easy to get carried away in your own thoughts. But
as you said, leaning on your village, leaning on the
people around you, and not having to kind of just
(12:37):
do things on your own is so important because those
soundboards for you can be so helpful and help you
actually realize reality.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
And professional football, like, you know, your husband is playing
at the highest level, so he gets it. So the
best person to talk to about your game and where
you kind of thought you didn't do well and stuff
and what in terms of like trying to get at
the top, Like what does it take earlier to be
(13:07):
a professional athlete?
Speaker 4 (13:08):
What does it take?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I would use I'm going to go off of Reem
as an example, because I feel like he's been in
there for a few years.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
I think it's how old is it.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
He's twenty three Okay, yeah, we're talking about Just for
people that don't know Harry, we're talking about and you
might not follow NRL.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Or Rugby league.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Yeah, twenty three four seasons and the NRL seasons in
the NRL the biggest thing that I've seen him. There's
a few things. One, he's a very disciplined person. When
there's no routine or structure, he kind of like not
freaks out, but it's not nature to him. So I
think just by being a really disciplined, routine person, it's
(13:47):
helped him to apply those things into footy. Another thing
is he's just a good person off the field, and
I think blessings come to him because of the way
he carries himself and people and positivity kind of radiates
from him, but it's returned to him too, because the
way he carries himself, it's not a facade, like that's
just who he is as a person, and so opportunities
(14:11):
come from that. And also his hard work. That's another thing.
It doesn't come easy. He's obviously a naturally talented player.
He's one of the most naturally talented player players I've
ever seen.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And commentators they point this out on it so it's
not just his wife.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I know guys, he is genuinely Yeah, he can play
footy and it's just natural second nature to him, but
it's backed up with hard work. It's not just natural
ability that gets you there. It's discipline and it's being
a good person off the field. Give him back.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Community.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, that community is very important.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
The community. Nobody really would know.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
But you know, for a couple of years I was
seeing you when he was just your boyfriend. When he
first introduced me to him at our yc yous were
youth workers.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Yeah, yeah, that's how volunteers. We met at doing youth work.
So he cou'd come down from Queensland, not playing footy
yet and just looking for a job and he came to.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
So you fell into your path, Lay, how's this? Yeah
I didn't know that story, You didn't, Yeah, but I
just saw.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
Him around kids.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I saw you around kids, and how these little people,
these young people, these young adults, some of them are
finished you twelve now like my nephew Bowali. We got
little tin or there and Tiger Piece and gied as
little girl Amani. They look up to you, especially those
little girls Lee, They look up to you and the
little boys look up to Jerreim as well. What does
(15:45):
that feel like to know that you're the next generation
these little people want to be like you.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Yeah, it's like you never think, being a young person
that you'd become that person for someone one day. You
kind of look up to those people when you're young
and be like wow, like I wish I could be
like them. I don't think I'll ever get there. I
don't know if I will get there, But it just
happens naturally as you go throughout life, and especially especially
being in the community, when you strive for things and
(16:15):
you grow up, automatically you become a role model to
the young kids in your in your community. Yeah, it's
still kind of hitting me that that's happening. Like even
with Ani Kuana from Redfern asking me to present jersey
to the jerseys to the little girls in Redfern and
her saying just saying those things like girls look up
to us, it's still surreal, Like it's kind of pinched
(16:36):
me because Yeah, because you was that, I was that
little girl looking after someone, never thinking that I could
be there.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I keep thinking about the strength of our culture, you know,
just keeping strong mentally strong, physically strong. What does kind
of being culturally strong or even mentally fit, What does
that mean to you?
Speaker 3 (16:56):
Yeah? I always would relate it to sport because it's
the best way that I understand things. And so when
you're physically training and you're coming physically fit, you're putting
in work almost every single day in order to get
to an end goal. In the same sense, I would
say that mental fitness is those things, those little things
that you do to keep yourself in check every single day.
Journaling is the thing that I love to do. The
(17:19):
work that got your full life does is kind of
flowing into that same thing. As you build your physical muscles,
you do with your mental and so building those things
each day, getting into those habits can really help you
to get an overall better mental wellbeing. And so yeah,
that's when you say mental fitness, that's kind of what
comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I'm thinking now about the young people some messages. Now,
if we could talk to especially younger people listening to
this podcast, like, what messages do you want to share
with them?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
I have a million, but probably the thing that comes
to mind is being comfortable in your own skin, being
comfortable being yourself. It's easy to compare yourself as a
young kid. It's easy to even look up to people
like me or well even other people. This is just
going off of things that I did as a young person.
I'd look up to people and think I'd never get there,
(18:10):
or think kind of compare myself and yeah, the saying
is comparison is the theft of joy. So I think
just being content with where you are right now and
knowing that with trust, you're going to get there eventually.
And that's just what happens when you grow up, like
things kind of fall into place, and if they don't,
you have people around you who will also help you.
(18:30):
So my two main things are just being comfortable being
who you are, don't change for anyone, and just trusting
that things will work out for you. But also if
things don't go to plan, that you have a community
behind you that will back you one hundred percent, that
will support you at the drop of a hat. So
that would probably be.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
My besit Yeah, be you yeah, back yourself.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Yeah. I love that.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Especially growing up in an Aboriginal community, there's a lot
of outside noise, yeah, and there's a lot of negative
yeah narratives, especially mainstream media that impact us impacts anybody.
You know, when people are talking about you and it's
not right, it's completely wrong, that has an effect, right,
(19:13):
a negative effect on our mental health.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
For some of the mob that are listening.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
That might be struggling right now, what would you say
to them?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I would say that everything's going to be okay. I
would say to lean into your village, whether that be
your family or even your school community. If you go
to a youth center, being the peers around you, don't
be afraid to lean into them. That would be my advice.
And just keep in check, keep yourself in check mentally,
do things for yourself, self care things every single day
(19:45):
so that you can kind of put yourself in the
best possible place mentally, and then it'll be easier for you.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And I was just thinking in terms of community centers
and having access to people like your mum and dad
to yearn with, Like, how lucky to have grown up
in these communities that not a lot of Aboriginal people
Black Fellow's Mob have have had that privilege.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yeah, I was so lucky.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
We've got Redfern Youth Connect, We've had the community center
on the block. When I was growing up in Redfern
we had the settlement when we were in Waterloo, and
Elizabeth Street we had the factory, so we could go
between different places.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
So Redford community is so lucky that there's so many
different things.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I know, thinking about next year now in the future,
what's your next plan like obviously NRLW, Yeah, you're still
giving the system.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
Yeah, what does next year look like? What does the
future look like? For ali Abula?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
To be honest, it's just going to be following where
my passion leads me. And for me, I'm faith centered,
so and also speaking with my husband too, and just
kind of trusting the journey that I'm going on. I
do feel like these are going to look a bit
different next year, and I'm so happy and fine with that.
And you know, I have faith that whatever will happen,
(21:09):
I'll be okay and things will work out exactly has
how they plan to work out.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
And that's when you do grow up in a faith
based family and culture and community, and I hear it
with my husband's family.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Always know the Lord will look after you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Keep doing the right things, keep doing the things that
you're meant to be doing, be of service, do good
in the world, be there for other there's all those
little things that you're kind of reminded of that that
pays off. I'm excited for you, my girl. I'm just
so it's that kind of proud auntie moment.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
When I was watching you on the.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
TV, watching you and then seeing you get Players Player,
I was like, man, your future is so big.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
The world is there always star.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
You've got the most amazing family, and you come from
the most amazing cultures.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
You're destined for greatness.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So thank you Watch Out World, thank you for being
part of this amazing partnership where we get to talk
about the great work that we're doing at Gotcha for Life.
And if people have never heard about the foundation, jump
on have a look at our show notes. We'll put
(22:24):
some of those kind of websites and resources. We've launched
our Mental Fitness Gym, so you can download on your
phone the app and you can check in.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
And I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I actually check in when I'm not feeling one hundred
percent being a busy mum, being a wife, trying to
run a business, doing a podcast on the side, and
also dealing with a lot of those culture and community obligations.
But this was such an uplifting and light conversation that
I'm pretty sure most people that are listening are going
to feel really energized to hear your voice, to hear
(23:02):
your story, and hopefully, I reckon you're going to have
a few more supporters now. Thank you, so keep up
the good work and to all the mob at Redfern
Youth Connect, love you all, to all the young people
that are at the program that use the services. I
know for a fact that my sister been away for instance,
(23:23):
wouldn't be able to work full time if she didn't
have the support from your mum and dad. So thanks
for the work that you and your family and just
being of service to our community. It hasn't gone unnoticed. Yeah,
thank you so much. To everyone that's been listening. Thank
you for just following the journey, especially here at Black
(23:44):
Magic Women. Having people like Aleah on this podcast just
gives you a bit of an insight into the different
lives that we live as both Aboriginal and tonge Why
can't we be both?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
But yeah, we're not all the same.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
We're all different people that have different experiences and our lifeves.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Aren't all about trauma.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
There's so much that we're doing and so much that
should be celebrated. And this podcast and the partnership We've
Got You for Love is also an opportunity to celebrate
the richness of averageinal culture. So thank you for being
part of it. Until next time, by us for an hour.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Thanks for tuning in to mental fitness conversations. Keep building
your emotional muscles with the free Mental Fitness Gym app
packed with tools, tips, and everyday actions to support your
mental fitness. Download it from the App Store or Google
play Store or visit the Mentalfitnessgym dot org. If anything
in this episode brought something up for you, you don't
(24:44):
have to worry alone. Reach out to a trusted friend
or family member and know that support is available. You
can contact Lifeline on one three double one, one four
or one three yarn at one three nine two seven
six for free and confidential support for Aboriginal and Torrostrad
is Lander people. If you enjoy this episode, leave us
(25:04):
a rating, share it with someone in your village, or
drop us a message. We'd love to hear what you think,
and don't forget to follow Black Magic Woman and Gotcha
for Life on all socials to keep the conversation going.
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Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.