Laura Graber on Sexual Abuse, Part 1

Growing up, Laura Graber’s father was an alcoholic. He was also addicted to pornography and molested his daughters. There was constant tension and the fear of sexually inappropriate behavior of their father in their home, to the point that Laura was afraid of taking a shower. Laura grew up in an Amish family; while many have the perception that the Amish live pristine, peaceful lives, an undercurrent of unspoken sexual abuse is alive in their community. In this first of two interviews, Laura shares her story.

Laura Graber on Sexual Abuse – Part 1 – Transcript

ANNOUNCER:

This radio program is PG-13. Parents strongly cautioned: some material may be inappropriate for children under the age of 13.

Jesus’s mission was to comfort those who mourn, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to captives, and open prison doors for those who are bound for those who want more than status quo Christianity has to offer, Blazing Grace Radio begins now. And here is your host, Mike Genung:

MIKE GENUNG, HOST, BLAZING GRACE RADIO:

Hey, Mike Genung here, and welcome back to Blazing Grace Radio. Glad to have you along. It’s a beautiful sunshiny day here in Phoenix, AZ. And before I introduce our guest, a couple of quick announcements.

• May 5th – 7th I’ll be in Italy, the north side, leading a men’s retreat there.
• May 13th I’ll be in Vienna, Austria leading an all day conference.
• On that Saturday, May 20th, we’ll be in Finland for several speaking engagements.
• And then, May 27th, I’ll be back to the UK in Frimley Green, which is a little southeast of London, holding an all day conference on that Saturday.
• And then June 3rd holding another conference – all day conference – in North Wales.

So for our listeners there in the UK and Europe, I’d love to see you. Go to the website at blazinggrace.org, there’s an events calendar on the homepage.

And so today I have back with me at the program, Mrs. Laura Graber from James Port, Missouri, Laura my friend and welcome back to the program.

LAURA GRABER:

Thanks for having me, Mike. It’s an honor.

MIKE:

Thanks for coming on. And so, Laura’s going to be with us the next two weeks, and today we’ll be talking about some sexual abuse issues she encountered growing up in her family. And then next week, what she’s been through with porn addiction in her marriage. And a common thread that can run through both of those scenarios, is anxiety and fears. So along the way, we’ll be picking that conversation up and looking at what recovery looks like.

So let’s begin, Laura, and go and begin by sharing what you went through growing up.

LAURA:

Sure, absolutely. So I grew up in a in a Baptist Amish home. So, you know, a lot of people have their opinion of how they think the Amish are [laughs] who they are and how they live their lives. Granted, my home that I grew up in was was an exception. Thankfully there’s not many of them in the culture, but my father was an alcoholic. And with that came lots of anger and rage, and, you know, all the aspects of that. And as I grew up there became more and more sexual impurities in his life, became more evident, until it got to the point where he definitely was sexually abusing us through a lot of different forms. For a long time in my life I was able to ignore it, and not, you know, call it for what it was because it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Which is, a lot of times, what sexual impurities and sexual sin… you can lie to yourself for a while, believing that it’s not as bad as you perceive it to be.

But… so, obviously, growing up with a father that you know was an alcoholic, and angry, there was lots of tension in our home. My parents would fight a lot, and argue a lot, and just always being tense, never knowing when something would tip them off. And he would spank you, per se, but it was much more than disciplining you. It was a way for him to unleash his anger, you know, using a whip or, you know, whatever he had close to his hands to use. So a large part of my childhood was spent, like, just living in constant fear. I remember bumping his chair one Sunday afternoon as a little kid, when he was taking a nap, and getting a beating because I bumped his chair.

MIKE:

Mmm.

LAURA:

You know, just instances that were completely crazy, you know? Yeah. Sometimes he would come to the table and I’d have to sit beside him and… because that’s how