April 17, 2024 • 26 mins
Bleach Bros Podcast had a thriving podcast hosted by two buddies, B-Word and Jake the Hater. While the podcast folded in late 2023, they are still amazing friends.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:30):
Hey, sal it's another month.We're back here in Salas Bar. Can
you pour me water? I shalloh, Jake. They so we were
talking about some ASMR stuff you don'tlike as to Mars, I'm trying it.
I'm eating something. What is thepoint? I don't know. I
don't even know what it stands for, to be honest with you, like
(00:51):
like a simple meta reaction, Idon't know. I don't know. It's
just people eating people. I meanI understanding the eating stuff though, do
Like they cut the cyrophoam and theythey smash peanuts and they just do weird
shit, and I just I don'tunderstand it. To be honest with you,
Well, see like I remember,like cause you remember when like I
(01:11):
don't know, well, I don'tknow if you remember it because we're not
into it. But like it's likeyou know when you found it a friend
had a foot fesh, Like that'sa little weird, but then you saw
it. And then like I hada friend who was into cake sitting.
Oh yeah I've heard about that.I know what, right, Okay,
okay, yeah apparently girls would bigbutts sit on cake. Yeah. Yeah,
it's like a thing like but thatI don't get it, Like I've
(01:33):
never been like, hey, youknow what I need today. I need
you to wear a thong. Yoube word. I want you to wear
a thong, and I want youto sit on a cake. I mean,
if you really needed it, likeif you were gonna die, I
would do it for you. Butother than that, I wouldn't. I
wouldn't even I don't understand. ILike, there are just some fetishes and
things out there that I just don'tget. Like, now, mind you,
(01:55):
I'm going to ask you another questionafter this point. But like like
cause there's people like you know thatwant to hear people you or I know
there's dudes that are into women gettingbigger and watching them eat. Yeah,
Like I've seen those fetish things andstuff, But like, what's a fetish
that you have that you're not necessarilyproud of or you were just surprised that
turns you on? I love midgetslike that. That's not really like a
(02:17):
thing that I've that I've hidden.Like I think that there's this one midget
that I found, the oh theone you sent me all yeah, the
free only fans like leak stuff orErica Calabresi or whatever, and I actually
just I actually just found out thatshe she earned twenty million dollars last year
(02:37):
duode twenty million from her only fans. And let me tell you something,
I was not a subscriber to that, but but I think that midgets are
fucking hot, dude, like especiallyher, me too. Oh my god.
And I don't like it's not achildren thing, Like I'm not attracted
to children at all, Like Ineed to be clear. It's not the
(02:58):
size thing. It's like, it'snot the features. It's just it's just
the yeating money. Yeah, it'sjust something weird. Oh and probably the
other thing that like recently is prettyintriguing is amputee porn. Ever watched I
have a friend that, Yeah,like it's just something that I'm like,
I'm more intrigued by it rather thanturned on by it, Like there's a
(03:19):
And the reason why is because Isaw this video. I think it was
on Facebook watch or something, andI saw this video and it was a
lady who had one leg would movefrom a car accident and that basically originally
is below the knee and then theyhad to remove just below the hip because
of an infection or something. Andshe talked about trying to get back into
the sex life and how she wasn'table to move and like have sex in
(03:42):
the same manner that she was ableto with two legs, and that just
got me like intrigued by the wholething. Like it's not a fetish.
I don't want to classify it asthat, but I wanted to like check
it out just to kind of see. You know, it's like you know
when you have to look at something, like you have to look it up.
That was one of the things thatI had to go across see to
see. If I wasn't married,I would try. I would be out
there looking for an amputee just becauseI want to know, Like I want
(04:04):
to know, like I have multiplequestions, like I know a girl if
like she's an amputee, like onher hand or something wrong, like have
you just done another well, see, I would totally be interested in that.
I think that the one thing thatlike turns me off about like if
if somebody's missing an arm right ormaybe they've got like a nub right above
their elbow or something. The thingthat kind of turns me off from that
is I understand that they have onehand that eats and wipes their ass at
(04:30):
the same time. And I've triedto wash my one hand with my one
hand with soap. Wait, waitwhat you only use one hand for each
thing? No, but I havetwo hands that I can eat a sandwich
with right or I have, youknow, like different thing. I have
two hands I can wipe my asswith. So I wipe my ass with
my right hand and I typically eatwith my left hand. So I do
(04:51):
both well. Fantastic, But thisgirl doesn't have a choice. So what's
the problem. I've also got shiton my hand from trying to wipe my
ass. One time. You washyour hands, okay, I wash my
hands plural? How do you washyour hand singular? Put it underwater and
soap on it. That's why theyhave the new things that just go bare,
(05:14):
right. But all you're doing istogether, like you clap it together.
Yeah, but you can't get likein between all your fingers and you
can't get the I'm sure she does, like they do this move and the
armpit and that stuff. The wordI mean, it might be, but
it just that's because I'm wipe withboth hands at all times. See,
I don't I do the lean wipeand the lean, wipe, I lean
with it, rock with well,that's good, that's good. That's why
(05:36):
I broke my toilet seat, remember, yeah, I do remember that.
I actually do have a fear thoughthat one day, like I'm gonna be
in a car accident or something andI'm gonna break my right arm. I'm
gonna have to learn how to wipewith my other hand. That's that's why
I learned to jerk off my life. No, I jerk off broke my
arm in high school. I don't. I can't really. Yeah, I
(05:58):
broke my right wrist, remember,Yeah, And I had a cast I
tried to with my cast on andI hurt my penis. That was after
the prey Mancis incident. One dayI'll get into that, and then I
don't. I don't recall that storyto be like either one of those stories,
whether it be the prying. Andthen I had to learn how to
do I had to. I like, how I'm telling this like a war
story, Like I had to learnhow to jerk off with the other hand
(06:21):
because the one hand didn't work right. But yeah, I only use my
left hand now, Oh, Imean, that's that's impressive. I I
with the both hands. I alsolike the stranger. I think that there's
like I don't jack off in theshower, that there's a lot of people
that jacked off in the shower.I just don't. I don't. I
(06:43):
think sex and the shower's overrated,and sex and the shower is but sex
with yourself and the showers. Yeah, but I like, I just don't
like. I guess I don't likestanding up when I come. It's just
a weird is it because your dickydew string gets too? Ha ha?
No fucking dicky use. That turnedout to be such a great fucking conversation.
By the way, and for thoseof you guys listening, if you
(07:03):
haven't listened to the Dicky do episode, please go back and listen to that.
We had a very good time withwith Jake's buddy Dusty. That was
that was a good time. Thatwas a good time. So I like
super Jiggly Butts. Really, Ilike, I like, I like toworking
has became like the greatest thing onthe flo. Really. I love let's
(07:27):
work. I don't. I'm notinto that. I'm not into that.
I didn't know. I didn't thinkI was either B word And then torking
videos happened. I went, oh, like I'm interested in talking videos because
I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Like I I think that I think
that you and I have two differentperspectives on a lot of things. Like
you'll look at something You're like,oh my god, this is the greatest
thing ever fucking created, and thenI look at it and I'm like it's
(07:49):
interesting. And then there's something thatI'm like, Jake, you gotta check
this out, and You're like,yeah, it's okay, So whatever,
it's that's you with documentaries. Iknow, sorry vieword. But whenever you
like, you call me this onetime about an Axel rosewed You're like,
could you really have to watch it? And I watched it like it wasn't
very We didn't say it was verygood. I'm like, well, what
the fuck did I watch it for? Like at least when I prefacee a
(08:13):
movie, I go, hey,this isn't a good movie. You should
watch it. Like I always downplayit to you. I've never like told
you or the most I'll ever sayis I think it's amazing, Like yeah,
yeah, like you'll go oh,it usually means to me that it's
fucking sucks, right, And that'swhy I preface with that I've learned,
but you have not learned to unlearnyo. So like I I introduced alright,
(08:37):
I asked you to watch everything always, every all at once or everywhere
or something, and like I,I thoroughly enjoyed that movie and you did
not. And I'm maybe you needto learn that. When I say I
really like this, you go,oh, that's gonna suck, because that's
what I think I've been doing.I've just been that's like, okay,
spoiler, like being totally honest here, not to be a dick. But
(08:58):
there's something you've been asked now Ican't even remember the name of it,
but there's something you've asked me likefive times to watch. You're like,
you should watch this. Have youseen that yet? I'm like no.
And then you're like, like ina week, like you're gonna ask me
again, like pidach, so haveyou watched that? And I'm like no,
And I'm like in my mind,I'm like, please catch on that.
I'm never gonna fuck you watch this. Instead of saying B word,
I'm never gonna watch it, justgo no. And I'm like, so,
(09:22):
just being honest, I'm never gonnawatch that you word whatever whatever it
was you even telling this week,I don't even know what it is now,
I've let it out of my brainthat much. But you've asked me
like five times. I just keptsaying it. I'm like, this is
the Wonder No, I've no,I I will I that's gonna be like
my gift to you after your dead. You're gonna be I think that you'll
be disappointed in the Wonder years becauseI feel like there is a time period
(09:46):
where you need to watch it whereit's like relative, where it would have
worked, where it would have madelike a ton of sense and stuff.
But you need to know who WinnieCooper is. Like there was a debate
on Twitter this week and it waswho's better Kelly Kapaski or Topanga And I
didn't know what it was. Eanga, Well, I we have we have
a difference of opinion there. Butwhat I will tell you you're you're right.
But what I will tell you isis that I saw on the right
(10:07):
hand side of my Twitter screen itsaid like suggested searches or or topics or
trending or whatever it said, andit said Kelly Kopowski was trending with Tapanga
and I clicked on it, andthere was like a legitimate internet debate that
came out about these two. Andwhen I think of Kelly Kopowski and Tapanga,
I think, yes, I don'tthink that there's a no answer to
(10:28):
that. But there were certain thingsthat came out of this, Like,
you know, Lisa Turtle in sayBy the Bell was pretty hot, and
so was Jesse Spano and Jesse obviouslyin that little stripper movie I forget what
it was called. Oh no,she's not. She was hot in that
movie. But but let me tellyou, like there were other people in
(10:48):
that generation, the Pink Ranger.You you even go with Christina Applegate back
in the day when she was unmarried with children. Like, I think
that there was a generation of hotwomen that we will never have again in
society. And I think that thenineties, especially the early nineties late eighties,
provided that teen teen girl dreams forus. Yeah, like we had
(11:15):
to masturbate with them with our lefthand, well, with whatever hand.
Okay, let me ask you this. Do you also you you wipe with
your right hand? You also jerkoff the right hand I jerk off with
both, but you only eat withthem, so you're not concerned. You're
with my right hand, but Ialso eat with my left hand, like
(11:37):
I more use utensils with my righthand. I didn't mean to back up
the conversation, but I just Iwas thinking about jerking hand. No,
typical, you were talking about myhands typical Tuesday, But no, I
like I like super jiggly butts.I love SUPERI It's one of my favorite
things. Like a pog as they'recalled, right, the pog the fat
ass white girl, fat ass whitegirls. I love me some fats.
(12:00):
Why girls you don't like like latinaswith jiggly asses or black pop. I
like all jiggly asses. I don'tcare. I like a big old booty
on any like women women, I'llI'll say that I gotta stop myself.
Can we can? We can?We back up to even before we recorded,
and we talked about how great therack was on the training at the
White House. You can talk aboutthat. You can talk about it too,
and I washed, no, I'mashamed of it. The doctor did
(12:22):
a phenomenal job, is what Iwill tell you. I will, I
will commend the doctor. I justI wanted to see. Here's the thing,
though, it would have mattered youknow this, You have to see
the nips. Oh yeah. Andthe worst part is if you would have
saw the nips, I bet itwould have been like man nips. Oh.
Probably the different to man nips thereis I have big nipples. Do
you have big nipps? No?I have really tiny nipples. Actually,
(12:45):
but they but they but they dohave brail on the outside of them.
So I feel like I was misterlactating. See. I believe that mine
say fuck off, suck my dick. I I think my mind says do
not like here or lick down?You know, would be like a thing
because I I have a I havea thing that like women's nipples that have
(13:07):
the brail on them. The brailsays suck here like all the time.
I'm a big fan of that.Do you do you like big nipples or
small nipples? Woman? I don'tknow that I can go big or small.
I think if I if I wereto have to choose like one of
the two, I would probably gowith big nipples. But I would like
a medium sized nipple. And arenow you're talking about the nipple itself sticking
(13:30):
out, not the areola, right, Oh no, like I was talking
about the whole areola and everything,like I don't want I don't want a
chest penis, like if it's ifit's an inch or more like, that's
too that's too much. I wouldI would really like maybe a half inch
or less. Ideally, I doneeded to poke out a little bit,
like I'm not gonna take a fuckingruler up to it and try to measure
(13:50):
it and say, oh, you'reyou're sticking out too much. You're you're,
you're, you're you're too big toride this ride. Yeah, exactly,
exactly. I don't want pancake nipples. I don't like a giant,
gigantic areas. Yeah, I mean, I haven't read. I won't say
their name on the show, butthey're a big fan of pepp Brow.
Yeah, my my, my Bolooneyhas a first name, and it's not
right fucking there, So I don'tI don't really like big old baloony nipples.
(14:13):
If if we're going to talk aboutnipples, we obviously have to talk
about certain things on a woman thatmight be like considered not womanly. So
when a woman has too much likewell, I mean, we can get
there. But when a woman hasa lot of facial hair, like you
can tell she has a beard orsideburns or or even a mustache, but
(14:35):
it might not have the coloration ofit. Are you turned off by that?
Not really? And the reason wasbecause I learned like there was one
And the funny thing was, therewas one girl I dated and she had
a super big mustache, but younever know because her hair she almost had
white hair m And it was soI was over top of her kissing one
day and the sunshines just shown shineand shown whatever just right where it reflected,
(15:00):
and I saw that her mustache wasbigger than mine. Hmm, And
I went, that's what's particularly mylips and this is gross. But because
I was gonna ask, like,have you ever been like kissing a nipple?
And then like there's the hit hairof the one Yeah, you've got
the one hair on the chest thatwas the other thing that it's naturally.
Yeah, I'm fine with the onehair I don't like, Like, I
don't really care now if it's ungroomed. Yeah, yeah, Well I had
(15:24):
a buddy of mine who told methat he always had a crush on this
girl in high school and we wentto two entirely different schools, like we
grew up separately. But he wastelling me he had a crush on this
girl in high school and he mether later in life, and I know
who she is. I mean theygrew up here. And he said that
the reason why, like he neverasked her out, because they flirted a
lot, and then one day hejust stopped flirting with her is because back
(15:46):
in when we grew up, thegirls wore shorter shirts than they do now.
And she leaned forward in her deskand she was Latina, and she
had the dark hair on her lowerback that it turned him off. Are
you turned off by any of thatstuff? No? No, Like I
said, well groomed, I don'tmind hair downstairs. I say, actually,
(16:10):
I'm a fan of it. Ilike, I like to play in
the bushes. I will say,I've had a girl with a hairy butthole,
and that was weird because it wasdifferent. Yeah, that's different,
Like I've had I've had girls withlike hair there, but not like a
forest there, if that makes sense. And there was one girl that had
an absolute force and she was beggingfor the butt, and I was like,
(16:32):
okay, And then once I sawit and I pulled out the loube,
I was like, is this goingto counteract? Like? Am I
just am I just conditioning her buttholehair at this point? Like it?
Yeah, Like I don't understand afterthat jog out that type of stuff.
Just I don't know. No,I mean I don't think there's much on
a woman I don't like, LikeI like, I'm not into the naturalistic
(16:56):
like girls growing out their leg hairand armpit hair. Now, more power
to you. It's just not justnot gonna turn me off. Like do
I think women shouldn't do that?No, go ahead, if you want
to do that, be an organicvegetball. Good for you. It's just
not for me. Like, Ithink the biggest one for me with hair
with women is the happy trip.That's the weird one for me. Okay,
so this is the trail from downto the veg Yeah, just doesn't
(17:18):
look Yeah in my opinion, likethat one's just like so it's more than
the hair on the back. Sospeaking of the lower back, like,
has there ever been any tattoos thathave distracted you while doing a doggy style?
No, because I usually don't dothat that often. That's not a
position that I'm that I get verygood. You get length, you have
(17:41):
length issues with that, and nota bat. I get told that.
I get told that like it's weird. They do the lift the leg,
the arch weird forward and like itdoesn't I just get the painful yell and
so I'm like, well, thisisn't fun. So that usually doesn't happen,
but no, there's never been.I had a nipple tattoos that bothered
me once. Oh see I sawbutterflies on the nipples ones that was kind
(18:03):
of cool. And I had facetattoos that bothered me. Face tattoos.
It depends saying just like the facetattoos are, oh you had a full
blown face tattoo she had, Shehad full blown and then she had contacts
that were pure black. So youyou it felt like you were fucking post
malone. I was fucking a demon. Well, okay, a suck you
bus? It were she came inand did not suck my bus, and
(18:29):
dude, it was it was.Here's why it was at night. I
was out drinking a lot and thenyou like you ever had that moment when
when you're drunk right and then you'reyou become instantly sober all of a sudden
and you don't know how m andlike what look, what the fuck just
happened? I looked up and Igot scared, like I was in a
horror movie because dude, she lookedscary, like and it was mainly the
lighting, like you know, itwas dark out and there was like one
(18:49):
light shined in the room, likethrough the window. But then she like
reared up and there's face tattoos everyhereand then pitch black eyes like she didn't
have, like you know, shewas wearing contacts to make them that.
Yeah, and it just looks scaryas fun. Yeah, No, that
would freak me out. I thinkthat the only the only tattoo that ever
distracted me, and I may haveI may have already shared this on the
podcast, but I had a girlfriendwho had only God can judge me on
(19:11):
her lower back and it was offcenter and it just really really bothered me.
But no, like nipple nipple tattoosare cool, Like I'm I'm cool
with them for the most part.Like it, I guess it kind of
depends on what what's there, Likeif some some sort of wickened stuff or
something like that, I mean mightthrow me off. I don't know that's
gonna stop me from going downtown.Ugly tattoos are worse than anything. I
(19:32):
agree. I agree, like ifit's and I don't mean ugly like just
in bad. I mean like likepoorly shitty Simpson draw on like yeah,
where you're just like why did youdo that? Or if you went if
you went to go get like aportrait tattoo and it looks like a cartoon
and not like a Simpson one,but but it you know, it just
looks very bad, like the lineworks shitty, the colorings off, it
just looks bad like I and those. I feel bad for people who have
(19:56):
shitty tattoos because they're really hard tocover. They're really really hard to cover.
Well, see, like I hateportrait tattoos. They're very rare unless
you get that high high end dollar. It's been so much where it looks
so good, like anybody with aport like and there, let's just say
this. Are there tattoos that youhate that people get, like like I
consider these wal Martian tattoos and whatI mean by that the people at Walmart.
(20:17):
I'm like, I hate the babyfeet, yeah, or the anxiety
symbol I hate the infinity symbol.I hate when you get everybody's name all
over your body, like your kids. So I'm not saying you don't be
proud of it, but I havea difference when you have eight kids.
Yeah, no, no, Itotally. I have baby blocks on my
right calf and it has my daughter'snickname in there and then I But every
(20:38):
other tattoo that I have is traditionalstyle, so like, I've got some
Native American art on me, I'vegot a headdress on me, I've got
some patriotic stuff, but but allof it is in the traditional style.
And I feel like, if you'regoing to go down the road of tattoos,
you really have to pick a styleof tattoo because New age tattoos don't
(20:59):
necessarily mix with portraits, don't necessarilymix with traditional, don't necessarily mix with
Polynesian like. You really have tohave something that matches they all at least
all throughout. If it's somewhat closeto well, it's like you've seen my
tattoos be where they're all black andwhite, they're all line drawn and they're
not super detailed. I got threetattoos. I have the pig with the
cutouts right, the butcher pig.I have live love burned eye on my
(21:22):
back from Betray You with Derek Hes, my favorite artist, the stress drawing
with the guys inside the Valentine LaCross, and then I drew my own
on my left arm, which isin style of Derek Hess. So it's
the same art style. So it'sall lines of black white. I never
wanted to get color. I neverwanted to do touch ups. What do
you have on your leg? Youhave something on your leg that's the pig.
Oh, that's right, that's it. That's right. I have the
pig on my leg. And youknow, I might get more eventually.
(21:45):
Like there is a tattoo I've alwayswanted to get, but I always wait
like six years to get a tattoo, I typically. So I got my
first tattoo, I guess it wasin like six o seven, and then
I got my second tattoo in liketwelve, maybe thirteen, and then I
got my fourth tattoo in like fifteenor sixteen, and then I got one
like a year or two ago.So yeah, I don't just go and
(22:06):
get tattoos. And that's the onething. Like my daughter has tattoos and
I just tell her, whatever youget, just make sure that it means
something to you and that it willturn into something later. Because tattoos,
you either have to retouch them atsome point or they stretch depending on where
they get put. So I meansome of them don't always hold their quality,
and it just it does get distracting, even if you're the owner of
(22:29):
the tattoo. Well, that's likelike my brother's like a canvas, like
he has them all over his body. Yeah, different styles and stuff from
different parts of the military and theworld and stuff. But like I told
my daughter my first tattoo, Iwaited four years to come, and I
say, like it's permanent and I'mnot trying to sound like the old man,
but like you're gonna have it forever. So like I was happy I
didn't do something like originally, likein high school, I wanted the Offspring
(22:52):
logo on my left I wanted theredskin Mogo like I wanted all these things.
I'm like, I'm glad I neverdid any of those, because that's
like a souper. Like the onlyone I want next is I want the
Donnie Darko numbers of when the World'sGonna end. I just I've always wanted
that I'm gonna get that on myforearm. I'll eventually do it. It's
just it's also going I don't careabout the pain, I don't care about
the healing time and stuff. Ijust I'm one of those like take it
(23:12):
or leave it. I think Also, you hit a level of your life,
like an age, where you're like, do I really need to go
do say more? Now? Mindyou? There are people get tattoos their
whole life and they do it allthe time, and good for them.
I'm just not one of those,Like I think I just got to point,
like what am I doing it for? Who am I showing off for?
Like? Am I gonna just stareat my arm all the time?
Probably? Not? My My nexttattoo that I want is I want the
(23:34):
traditional heart that has mom through it, you know what I mean? Like
yeah, and yeah, the oldschools stay their town. Yeah, And
I just don't know where I wantit because I started thinking, Okay,
like on my right forearm, I'vegot two tattoos, one on each side,
and I've got plenty of space,and ultimately I want to do a
half a half sleeve there, butI don't know that I want Mom written
(23:56):
in there on there specifically for acouple of reasons. Number One, if
I decide that I'm gonna jack offwith that arm, the last thing I
want to see is Mom. Also, if I'm fingering a girl with that
arm and I look down and Isee Mom, I don't know that I'm
gonna do that. So now I'mlike deciding, like where exactly is the
place of this. But that alsocomes into play, like does it say
(24:17):
Mom facing you or facing them,because like you could look at it if
it says it to them, youcould when you're jerking off, it'll say,
wow, that's true. Those thingsmatter now. Mind you though,
if you're fingering her and then shesees Mom and upside down heart looks like
a flabby ass, that's what I'msaying. But you know what I'm saying,
Like that also is like matter becauseI didn't realize that until you know
those videos you fall down the viralones where it's like pay attention where they're
(24:41):
like you shouldn't put a tattoo facingthis way. There's this whole like video
trend of tattoo artists like giving adviceand people not listening and they show why
they tell you to do that,and I'm like, oh that makes sense,
Like have a cross face this way, have this happen, You're gonna
be the only one that sees it, like all those types of things.
Ye. Well, I don't know. We know it's an old story,
but I guess we'll just end onthis, my friend. Originally, when
(25:03):
the trampoline was was created, itwas called a Nome's mam aline and Nome's
mom jumped on it, so itbecame a trampoline. That being said South,
I know it was probably really bad, but sal thanks very much.
I'll get the tab this week sinceJake stiffed you last month. Have a
good one.
Hey, sal it's another month.We're back here in Salas Bar. Can
you pour me water? I shalloh, Jake. They so we were
talking about some ASMR stuff you don'tlike as to Mars, I'm trying it.
I'm eating something. What is thepoint? I don't know. I
don't even know what it stands for, to be honest with you, like
(00:51):
like a simple meta reaction, Idon't know. I don't know. It's
just people eating people. I meanI understanding the eating stuff though, do
Like they cut the cyrophoam and theythey smash peanuts and they just do weird
shit, and I just I don'tunderstand it. To be honest with you,
Well, see like I remember,like cause you remember when like I
(01:11):
don't know, well, I don'tknow if you remember it because we're not
into it. But like it's likeyou know when you found it a friend
had a foot fesh, Like that'sa little weird, but then you saw
it. And then like I hada friend who was into cake sitting.
Oh yeah I've heard about that.I know what, right, Okay,
okay, yeah apparently girls would bigbutts sit on cake. Yeah. Yeah,
it's like a thing like but thatI don't get it, Like I've
(01:33):
never been like, hey, youknow what I need today. I need
you to wear a thong. Yoube word. I want you to wear
a thong, and I want youto sit on a cake. I mean,
if you really needed it, likeif you were gonna die, I
would do it for you. Butother than that, I wouldn't. I
wouldn't even I don't understand. ILike, there are just some fetishes and
things out there that I just don'tget. Like, now, mind you,
(01:55):
I'm going to ask you another questionafter this point. But like like
cause there's people like you know thatwant to hear people you or I know
there's dudes that are into women gettingbigger and watching them eat. Yeah,
Like I've seen those fetish things andstuff, But like, what's a fetish
that you have that you're not necessarilyproud of or you were just surprised that
turns you on? I love midgetslike that. That's not really like a
(02:17):
thing that I've that I've hidden.Like I think that there's this one midget
that I found, the oh theone you sent me all yeah, the
free only fans like leak stuff orErica Calabresi or whatever, and I actually
just I actually just found out thatshe she earned twenty million dollars last year
(02:37):
duode twenty million from her only fans. And let me tell you something,
I was not a subscriber to that, but but I think that midgets are
fucking hot, dude, like especiallyher, me too. Oh my god.
And I don't like it's not achildren thing, Like I'm not attracted
to children at all, Like Ineed to be clear. It's not the
(02:58):
size thing. It's like, it'snot the features. It's just it's just
the yeating money. Yeah, it'sjust something weird. Oh and probably the
other thing that like recently is prettyintriguing is amputee porn. Ever watched I
have a friend that, Yeah,like it's just something that I'm like,
I'm more intrigued by it rather thanturned on by it, Like there's a
(03:19):
And the reason why is because Isaw this video. I think it was
on Facebook watch or something, andI saw this video and it was a
lady who had one leg would movefrom a car accident and that basically originally
is below the knee and then theyhad to remove just below the hip because
of an infection or something. Andshe talked about trying to get back into
the sex life and how she wasn'table to move and like have sex in
(03:42):
the same manner that she was ableto with two legs, and that just
got me like intrigued by the wholething. Like it's not a fetish.
I don't want to classify it asthat, but I wanted to like check
it out just to kind of see. You know, it's like you know
when you have to look at something, like you have to look it up.
That was one of the things thatI had to go across see to
see. If I wasn't married,I would try. I would be out
there looking for an amputee just becauseI want to know, Like I want
(04:04):
to know, like I have multiplequestions, like I know a girl if
like she's an amputee, like onher hand or something wrong, like have
you just done another well, see, I would totally be interested in that.
I think that the one thing thatlike turns me off about like if
if somebody's missing an arm right ormaybe they've got like a nub right above
their elbow or something. The thingthat kind of turns me off from that
is I understand that they have onehand that eats and wipes their ass at
(04:30):
the same time. And I've triedto wash my one hand with my one
hand with soap. Wait, waitwhat you only use one hand for each
thing? No, but I havetwo hands that I can eat a sandwich
with right or I have, youknow, like different thing. I have
two hands I can wipe my asswith. So I wipe my ass with
my right hand and I typically eatwith my left hand. So I do
(04:51):
both well. Fantastic, But thisgirl doesn't have a choice. So what's
the problem. I've also got shiton my hand from trying to wipe my
ass. One time. You washyour hands, okay, I wash my
hands plural? How do you washyour hand singular? Put it underwater and
soap on it. That's why theyhave the new things that just go bare,
(05:14):
right. But all you're doing istogether, like you clap it together.
Yeah, but you can't get likein between all your fingers and you
can't get the I'm sure she does, like they do this move and the
armpit and that stuff. The wordI mean, it might be, but
it just that's because I'm wipe withboth hands at all times. See,
I don't I do the lean wipeand the lean, wipe, I lean
with it, rock with well,that's good, that's good. That's why
(05:36):
I broke my toilet seat, remember, yeah, I do remember that.
I actually do have a fear thoughthat one day, like I'm gonna be
in a car accident or something andI'm gonna break my right arm. I'm
gonna have to learn how to wipewith my other hand. That's that's why
I learned to jerk off my life. No, I jerk off broke my
arm in high school. I don't. I can't really. Yeah, I
(05:58):
broke my right wrist, remember,Yeah, And I had a cast I
tried to with my cast on andI hurt my penis. That was after
the prey Mancis incident. One dayI'll get into that, and then I
don't. I don't recall that storyto be like either one of those stories,
whether it be the prying. Andthen I had to learn how to
do I had to. I like, how I'm telling this like a war
story, Like I had to learnhow to jerk off with the other hand
(06:21):
because the one hand didn't work right. But yeah, I only use my
left hand now, Oh, Imean, that's that's impressive. I I
with the both hands. I alsolike the stranger. I think that there's
like I don't jack off in theshower, that there's a lot of people
that jacked off in the shower.I just don't. I don't. I
(06:43):
think sex and the shower's overrated,and sex and the shower is but sex
with yourself and the showers. Yeah, but I like, I just don't
like. I guess I don't likestanding up when I come. It's just
a weird is it because your dickydew string gets too? Ha ha?
No fucking dicky use. That turnedout to be such a great fucking conversation.
By the way, and for thoseof you guys listening, if you
(07:03):
haven't listened to the Dicky do episode, please go back and listen to that.
We had a very good time withwith Jake's buddy Dusty. That was
that was a good time. Thatwas a good time. So I like
super Jiggly Butts. Really, Ilike, I like, I like toworking
has became like the greatest thing onthe flo. Really. I love let's
(07:27):
work. I don't. I'm notinto that. I'm not into that.
I didn't know. I didn't thinkI was either B word And then torking
videos happened. I went, oh, like I'm interested in talking videos because
I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Like I I think that I think
that you and I have two differentperspectives on a lot of things. Like
you'll look at something You're like,oh my god, this is the greatest
thing ever fucking created, and thenI look at it and I'm like it's
(07:49):
interesting. And then there's something thatI'm like, Jake, you gotta check
this out, and You're like,yeah, it's okay, So whatever,
it's that's you with documentaries. Iknow, sorry vieword. But whenever you
like, you call me this onetime about an Axel rosewed You're like,
could you really have to watch it? And I watched it like it wasn't
very We didn't say it was verygood. I'm like, well, what
the fuck did I watch it for? Like at least when I prefacee a
(08:13):
movie, I go, hey,this isn't a good movie. You should
watch it. Like I always downplayit to you. I've never like told
you or the most I'll ever sayis I think it's amazing, Like yeah,
yeah, like you'll go oh,it usually means to me that it's
fucking sucks, right, And that'swhy I preface with that I've learned,
but you have not learned to unlearnyo. So like I I introduced alright,
(08:37):
I asked you to watch everything always, every all at once or everywhere
or something, and like I,I thoroughly enjoyed that movie and you did
not. And I'm maybe you needto learn that. When I say I
really like this, you go,oh, that's gonna suck, because that's
what I think I've been doing.I've just been that's like, okay,
spoiler, like being totally honest here, not to be a dick. But
(08:58):
there's something you've been asked now Ican't even remember the name of it,
but there's something you've asked me likefive times to watch. You're like,
you should watch this. Have youseen that yet? I'm like no.
And then you're like, like ina week, like you're gonna ask me
again, like pidach, so haveyou watched that? And I'm like no,
And I'm like in my mind,I'm like, please catch on that.
I'm never gonna fuck you watch this. Instead of saying B word,
I'm never gonna watch it, justgo no. And I'm like, so,
(09:22):
just being honest, I'm never gonnawatch that you word whatever whatever it
was you even telling this week,I don't even know what it is now,
I've let it out of my brainthat much. But you've asked me
like five times. I just keptsaying it. I'm like, this is
the Wonder No, I've no,I I will I that's gonna be like
my gift to you after your dead. You're gonna be I think that you'll
be disappointed in the Wonder years becauseI feel like there is a time period
(09:46):
where you need to watch it whereit's like relative, where it would have
worked, where it would have madelike a ton of sense and stuff.
But you need to know who WinnieCooper is. Like there was a debate
on Twitter this week and it waswho's better Kelly Kapaski or Topanga And I
didn't know what it was. Eanga, Well, I we have we have
a difference of opinion there. Butwhat I will tell you you're you're right.
But what I will tell you isis that I saw on the right
(10:07):
hand side of my Twitter screen itsaid like suggested searches or or topics or
trending or whatever it said, andit said Kelly Kopowski was trending with Tapanga
and I clicked on it, andthere was like a legitimate internet debate that
came out about these two. Andwhen I think of Kelly Kopowski and Tapanga,
I think, yes, I don'tthink that there's a no answer to
(10:28):
that. But there were certain thingsthat came out of this, Like,
you know, Lisa Turtle in sayBy the Bell was pretty hot, and
so was Jesse Spano and Jesse obviouslyin that little stripper movie I forget what
it was called. Oh no,she's not. She was hot in that
movie. But but let me tellyou, like there were other people in
(10:48):
that generation, the Pink Ranger.You you even go with Christina Applegate back
in the day when she was unmarried with children. Like, I think
that there was a generation of hotwomen that we will never have again in
society. And I think that thenineties, especially the early nineties late eighties,
provided that teen teen girl dreams forus. Yeah, like we had
(11:15):
to masturbate with them with our lefthand, well, with whatever hand.
Okay, let me ask you this. Do you also you you wipe with
your right hand? You also jerkoff the right hand I jerk off with
both, but you only eat withthem, so you're not concerned. You're
with my right hand, but Ialso eat with my left hand, like
(11:37):
I more use utensils with my righthand. I didn't mean to back up
the conversation, but I just Iwas thinking about jerking hand. No,
typical, you were talking about myhands typical Tuesday, But no, I
like I like super jiggly butts.I love SUPERI It's one of my favorite
things. Like a pog as they'recalled, right, the pog the fat
ass white girl, fat ass whitegirls. I love me some fats.
(12:00):
Why girls you don't like like latinaswith jiggly asses or black pop. I
like all jiggly asses. I don'tcare. I like a big old booty
on any like women women, I'llI'll say that I gotta stop myself.
Can we can? We can?We back up to even before we recorded,
and we talked about how great therack was on the training at the
White House. You can talk aboutthat. You can talk about it too,
and I washed, no, I'mashamed of it. The doctor did
(12:22):
a phenomenal job, is what Iwill tell you. I will, I
will commend the doctor. I justI wanted to see. Here's the thing,
though, it would have mattered youknow this, You have to see
the nips. Oh yeah. Andthe worst part is if you would have
saw the nips, I bet itwould have been like man nips. Oh.
Probably the different to man nips thereis I have big nipples. Do
you have big nipps? No?I have really tiny nipples. Actually,
(12:45):
but they but they but they dohave brail on the outside of them.
So I feel like I was misterlactating. See. I believe that mine
say fuck off, suck my dick. I I think my mind says do
not like here or lick down?You know, would be like a thing
because I I have a I havea thing that like women's nipples that have
(13:07):
the brail on them. The brailsays suck here like all the time.
I'm a big fan of that.Do you do you like big nipples or
small nipples? Woman? I don'tknow that I can go big or small.
I think if I if I wereto have to choose like one of
the two, I would probably gowith big nipples. But I would like
a medium sized nipple. And arenow you're talking about the nipple itself sticking
(13:30):
out, not the areola, right, Oh no, like I was talking
about the whole areola and everything,like I don't want I don't want a
chest penis, like if it's ifit's an inch or more like, that's
too that's too much. I wouldI would really like maybe a half inch
or less. Ideally, I doneeded to poke out a little bit,
like I'm not gonna take a fuckingruler up to it and try to measure
(13:50):
it and say, oh, you'reyou're sticking out too much. You're you're,
you're, you're you're too big toride this ride. Yeah, exactly,
exactly. I don't want pancake nipples. I don't like a giant,
gigantic areas. Yeah, I mean, I haven't read. I won't say
their name on the show, butthey're a big fan of pepp Brow.
Yeah, my my, my Bolooneyhas a first name, and it's not
right fucking there, So I don'tI don't really like big old baloony nipples.
(14:13):
If if we're going to talk aboutnipples, we obviously have to talk
about certain things on a woman thatmight be like considered not womanly. So
when a woman has too much likewell, I mean, we can get
there. But when a woman hasa lot of facial hair, like you
can tell she has a beard orsideburns or or even a mustache, but
(14:35):
it might not have the coloration ofit. Are you turned off by that?
Not really? And the reason wasbecause I learned like there was one
And the funny thing was, therewas one girl I dated and she had
a super big mustache, but younever know because her hair she almost had
white hair m And it was soI was over top of her kissing one
day and the sunshines just shown shineand shown whatever just right where it reflected,
(15:00):
and I saw that her mustache wasbigger than mine. Hmm, And
I went, that's what's particularly mylips and this is gross. But because
I was gonna ask, like,have you ever been like kissing a nipple?
And then like there's the hit hairof the one Yeah, you've got
the one hair on the chest thatwas the other thing that it's naturally.
Yeah, I'm fine with the onehair I don't like, Like, I
don't really care now if it's ungroomed. Yeah, yeah, Well I had
(15:24):
a buddy of mine who told methat he always had a crush on this
girl in high school and we wentto two entirely different schools, like we
grew up separately. But he wastelling me he had a crush on this
girl in high school and he mether later in life, and I know
who she is. I mean theygrew up here. And he said that
the reason why, like he neverasked her out, because they flirted a
lot, and then one day hejust stopped flirting with her is because back
(15:46):
in when we grew up, thegirls wore shorter shirts than they do now.
And she leaned forward in her deskand she was Latina, and she
had the dark hair on her lowerback that it turned him off. Are
you turned off by any of thatstuff? No? No, Like I
said, well groomed, I don'tmind hair downstairs. I say, actually,
(16:10):
I'm a fan of it. Ilike, I like to play in
the bushes. I will say,I've had a girl with a hairy butthole,
and that was weird because it wasdifferent. Yeah, that's different,
Like I've had I've had girls withlike hair there, but not like a
forest there, if that makes sense. And there was one girl that had
an absolute force and she was beggingfor the butt, and I was like,
(16:32):
okay, And then once I sawit and I pulled out the loube,
I was like, is this goingto counteract? Like? Am I
just am I just conditioning her buttholehair at this point? Like it?
Yeah, Like I don't understand afterthat jog out that type of stuff.
Just I don't know. No,I mean I don't think there's much on
a woman I don't like, LikeI like, I'm not into the naturalistic
(16:56):
like girls growing out their leg hairand armpit hair. Now, more power
to you. It's just not justnot gonna turn me off. Like do
I think women shouldn't do that?No, go ahead, if you want
to do that, be an organicvegetball. Good for you. It's just
not for me. Like, Ithink the biggest one for me with hair
with women is the happy trip.That's the weird one for me. Okay,
so this is the trail from downto the veg Yeah, just doesn't
(17:18):
look Yeah in my opinion, likethat one's just like so it's more than
the hair on the back. Sospeaking of the lower back, like,
has there ever been any tattoos thathave distracted you while doing a doggy style?
No, because I usually don't dothat that often. That's not a
position that I'm that I get verygood. You get length, you have
(17:41):
length issues with that, and nota bat. I get told that.
I get told that like it's weird. They do the lift the leg,
the arch weird forward and like itdoesn't I just get the painful yell and
so I'm like, well, thisisn't fun. So that usually doesn't happen,
but no, there's never been.I had a nipple tattoos that bothered
me once. Oh see I sawbutterflies on the nipples ones that was kind
(18:03):
of cool. And I had facetattoos that bothered me. Face tattoos.
It depends saying just like the facetattoos are, oh you had a full
blown face tattoo she had, Shehad full blown and then she had contacts
that were pure black. So youyou it felt like you were fucking post
malone. I was fucking a demon. Well, okay, a suck you
bus? It were she came inand did not suck my bus, and
(18:29):
dude, it was it was.Here's why it was at night. I
was out drinking a lot and thenyou like you ever had that moment when
when you're drunk right and then you'reyou become instantly sober all of a sudden
and you don't know how m andlike what look, what the fuck just
happened? I looked up and Igot scared, like I was in a
horror movie because dude, she lookedscary, like and it was mainly the
lighting, like you know, itwas dark out and there was like one
(18:49):
light shined in the room, likethrough the window. But then she like
reared up and there's face tattoos everyhereand then pitch black eyes like she didn't
have, like you know, shewas wearing contacts to make them that.
Yeah, and it just looks scaryas fun. Yeah, No, that
would freak me out. I thinkthat the only the only tattoo that ever
distracted me, and I may haveI may have already shared this on the
podcast, but I had a girlfriendwho had only God can judge me on
(19:11):
her lower back and it was offcenter and it just really really bothered me.
But no, like nipple nipple tattoosare cool, Like I'm I'm cool
with them for the most part.Like it, I guess it kind of
depends on what what's there, Likeif some some sort of wickened stuff or
something like that, I mean mightthrow me off. I don't know that's
gonna stop me from going downtown.Ugly tattoos are worse than anything. I
(19:32):
agree. I agree, like ifit's and I don't mean ugly like just
in bad. I mean like likepoorly shitty Simpson draw on like yeah,
where you're just like why did youdo that? Or if you went if
you went to go get like aportrait tattoo and it looks like a cartoon
and not like a Simpson one,but but it you know, it just
looks very bad, like the lineworks shitty, the colorings off, it
just looks bad like I and those. I feel bad for people who have
(19:56):
shitty tattoos because they're really hard tocover. They're really really hard to cover.
Well, see, like I hateportrait tattoos. They're very rare unless
you get that high high end dollar. It's been so much where it looks
so good, like anybody with aport like and there, let's just say
this. Are there tattoos that youhate that people get, like like I
consider these wal Martian tattoos and whatI mean by that the people at Walmart.
(20:17):
I'm like, I hate the babyfeet, yeah, or the anxiety
symbol I hate the infinity symbol.I hate when you get everybody's name all
over your body, like your kids. So I'm not saying you don't be
proud of it, but I havea difference when you have eight kids.
Yeah, no, no, Itotally. I have baby blocks on my
right calf and it has my daughter'snickname in there and then I But every
(20:38):
other tattoo that I have is traditionalstyle, so like, I've got some
Native American art on me, I'vegot a headdress on me, I've got
some patriotic stuff, but but allof it is in the traditional style.
And I feel like, if you'regoing to go down the road of tattoos,
you really have to pick a styleof tattoo because New age tattoos don't
(20:59):
necessarily mix with portraits, don't necessarilymix with traditional, don't necessarily mix with
Polynesian like. You really have tohave something that matches they all at least
all throughout. If it's somewhat closeto well, it's like you've seen my
tattoos be where they're all black andwhite, they're all line drawn and they're
not super detailed. I got threetattoos. I have the pig with the
cutouts right, the butcher pig.I have live love burned eye on my
(21:22):
back from Betray You with Derek Hes, my favorite artist, the stress drawing
with the guys inside the Valentine LaCross, and then I drew my own
on my left arm, which isin style of Derek Hess. So it's
the same art style. So it'sall lines of black white. I never
wanted to get color. I neverwanted to do touch ups. What do
you have on your leg? Youhave something on your leg that's the pig.
Oh, that's right, that's it. That's right. I have the
pig on my leg. And youknow, I might get more eventually.
(21:45):
Like there is a tattoo I've alwayswanted to get, but I always wait
like six years to get a tattoo, I typically. So I got my
first tattoo, I guess it wasin like six o seven, and then
I got my second tattoo in liketwelve, maybe thirteen, and then I
got my fourth tattoo in like fifteenor sixteen, and then I got one
like a year or two ago.So yeah, I don't just go and
(22:06):
get tattoos. And that's the onething. Like my daughter has tattoos and
I just tell her, whatever youget, just make sure that it means
something to you and that it willturn into something later. Because tattoos,
you either have to retouch them atsome point or they stretch depending on where
they get put. So I meansome of them don't always hold their quality,
and it just it does get distracting, even if you're the owner of
(22:29):
the tattoo. Well, that's likelike my brother's like a canvas, like
he has them all over his body. Yeah, different styles and stuff from
different parts of the military and theworld and stuff. But like I told
my daughter my first tattoo, Iwaited four years to come, and I
say, like it's permanent and I'mnot trying to sound like the old man,
but like you're gonna have it forever. So like I was happy I
didn't do something like originally, likein high school, I wanted the Offspring
(22:52):
logo on my left I wanted theredskin Mogo like I wanted all these things.
I'm like, I'm glad I neverdid any of those, because that's
like a souper. Like the onlyone I want next is I want the
Donnie Darko numbers of when the World'sGonna end. I just I've always wanted
that I'm gonna get that on myforearm. I'll eventually do it. It's
just it's also going I don't careabout the pain, I don't care about
the healing time and stuff. Ijust I'm one of those like take it
(23:12):
or leave it. I think Also, you hit a level of your life,
like an age, where you're like, do I really need to go
do say more? Now? Mindyou? There are people get tattoos their
whole life and they do it allthe time, and good for them.
I'm just not one of those,Like I think I just got to point,
like what am I doing it for? Who am I showing off for?
Like? Am I gonna just stareat my arm all the time?
Probably? Not? My My nexttattoo that I want is I want the
(23:34):
traditional heart that has mom through it, you know what I mean? Like
yeah, and yeah, the oldschools stay their town. Yeah, And
I just don't know where I wantit because I started thinking, Okay,
like on my right forearm, I'vegot two tattoos, one on each side,
and I've got plenty of space,and ultimately I want to do a
half a half sleeve there, butI don't know that I want Mom written
(23:56):
in there on there specifically for acouple of reasons. Number One, if
I decide that I'm gonna jack offwith that arm, the last thing I
want to see is Mom. Also, if I'm fingering a girl with that
arm and I look down and Isee Mom, I don't know that I'm
gonna do that. So now I'mlike deciding, like where exactly is the
place of this. But that alsocomes into play, like does it say
(24:17):
Mom facing you or facing them,because like you could look at it if
it says it to them, youcould when you're jerking off, it'll say,
wow, that's true. Those thingsmatter now. Mind you though,
if you're fingering her and then shesees Mom and upside down heart looks like
a flabby ass, that's what I'msaying. But you know what I'm saying,
Like that also is like matter becauseI didn't realize that until you know
those videos you fall down the viralones where it's like pay attention where they're
(24:41):
like you shouldn't put a tattoo facingthis way. There's this whole like video
trend of tattoo artists like giving adviceand people not listening and they show why
they tell you to do that,and I'm like, oh that makes sense,
Like have a cross face this way, have this happen, You're gonna
be the only one that sees it, like all those types of things.
Ye. Well, I don't know. We know it's an old story,
but I guess we'll just end onthis, my friend. Originally, when
(25:03):
the trampoline was was created, itwas called a Nome's mam aline and Nome's
mom jumped on it, so itbecame a trampoline. That being said South,
I know it was probably really bad, but sal thanks very much.
I'll get the tab this week sinceJake stiffed you last month. Have a
good one.
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