April 17, 2024 • 21 mins
Bleach Bros Podcast had a thriving podcast hosted by two buddies, B-Word and Jake the Hater. While the podcast folded in late 2023, they are still amazing friends.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hmm, Okay, what's up,sal? I thought that bitch Jake was
(00:41):
gonna be here. Oh there heis walking through the door. Oh yeah,
he looks all dude, he looksangry. I don't know what's going
on here? Dude? Are you? Are you all pissy? What's going
on? Buddy? Always, I'llalways man, that's what they call him.
Well, the hater is a muchdifferent than the pissier, because if
you were the pissier, then Ican definitely understand that. But you're you
(01:02):
just let's go to the bathroom there, well, piss on your face.
Never know, I might like it. I don't think you would. That's
some weird Do you like a spearwhen you pee? Do you sniff your
pea? If I eat the sperrigus? Ok, that's what I have thought.
Yeah, that's both people. SoI know we talked about this before,
but like, is there is therea type of food that that you
(01:26):
actually appreciate the smell when it comesout? No? Yeah, same,
I've not found one. I've notfound one. And separately, I had
some peanuts the other day. Iwent to the store. I had hanged
anchor for peanuts, grabbed this littlelittle can of peanuts, you know,
like the planters or whatever. AndI just snacked on peanuts through out the
day, you know, no bigdeal, mixed nuts and went home.
(01:49):
You know, what I realized isthat peanuts don't digest all the way.
No, it's like corn. Yeah, I didn't know that. It has
been a long time since I justlike snacked on peanuts, and unlike corn,
it wasn't really something that you couldlike rinse off and solve world hunger
with. Well, I think youcan rinse off a peanut because you can
grind it up. You can rinseoff a peanut, yes, but but
(02:12):
you can't really solve world hunger forthe purpose that you're talking about, Like,
yeah, you can grind it up, Like I feel like every time
you digest a peanut, it getsmaller and smaller because especially if somebody's gonna
chew it again. Well that's that'swhat I don't get. Are people just
not chewing corn like I chew mycorn. I know that that's like a
thing, right, Like I don'tunderstand how corn comes out as corn,
(02:37):
Like it doesn't and chew it itcomes out as corn. Bro Like not
chewed corn, it comes out ascorn. Tomato potato, I mean tomato
potato. It doesn't really matter.You know co r In or you know
carn corn like carn I made somecorn. I saw we're gonna need a
(03:00):
couple of waters today. I thinkI'm gonna lay off the beer. Uh
yeah, at least for this month. So so, all right, you
talked about farting, you talked aboutyou've. All you've talked about is butt
steps, bodily functions to bodily functions. But I saw a video that somebody
sent me saying a ring pop candouble as a butt plug. Yeah I
(03:22):
sent that to you, Okay,Okay, it was you. So I
don't think so, I don't thinkit's geot geometrically the same. But it
can be, I guess is thepoint. Yeah, so, I mean
it can, but it's not.Well, it's get I get you that
it's not, but it definitely canbe. Like there's you put it in
(03:44):
a balloon, knot well, Ithing that you would. Yeah, yeah,
I don't know. I okay,So talk to me about this,
dude. Yeah. Catholics. Andthe reason why I say Catholics is because
my aunts was Catholic. Because wetalking lou nuts and you go to Catholic
Because I remember when I was achild and I overheard a conversation where my
(04:06):
aunt was talking to my mom andshe mentioned, and I have multiple aunts,
so like she's gonna go nameless,but she mentioned that her husband does
not want any more children and she'sjust tired of doing it anally. Now,
granted, she probably didn't say thosewords, and over time, that's
what I learned from them. Youmean, but for religions that don't practice
(04:29):
prophylactics or don't practice birth control,like that's kind of the thing, right,
Like like the man is going tomasturbate into your buttthole and that just
doesn't seem all that fair. Whybecause the woman can't masturbate into the man's
buttle Okay, it just seems likeI understand why we live in a misogynistic
(04:53):
society. Like there are certain thingsthat come up. You're gonna look at
it this way, like coming isis like coming for a woman seems internal
and sacred, and for a manit just seems external. And no,
dude, I totally, I totallyunderstand where you're coming from, because it
seems like when a man comes,like it's just so frequent and so expected
(05:17):
that there's no poping circumstance, whereaslike when a woman comes, it's like
you you unlocked an achievement, likean act. You get your little PlayStation
or Xbox award unlock. You know, you get to wear it proudly.
It's a thing. I don't knowi'd let a girl come in my buttole,
I don't doubt that you would.There's a way. I don't doubt
(05:38):
that there's a way. B words, there's a way. There's a way.
You See. The thing about youis, dude, like we've known
each other in our entire fucking lives. And this is what flabberg hats me
for our entire fucking lives. Iknow that maybe aside from a random finger
while you're getting a blowjob or something, that nothing's been in your ass like
(05:59):
and and here we are, andyou're talking about, oh, I would
do ass stuff? The fuck youwould? You haven't? You haven't,
And you're like, oh, Ido it because I don't understand that if
your wife asked you to, youwould do it. But you also know
you also know that your wife wouldnever ask you to do but stuff.
Right? Oh wait, have youhad shit in your ass. I've had
shit in my ass when I'm shittingit out. I know. Here's the
(06:20):
thing. I knew when I askedthat way, You're gonna be like,
oh, yeah, I've had I'vehad corn poop, I've had cord poop.
No, I've had fecal matter travelingoutward. No. I well,
okay, I gotta. I gota finger one time while I was getting
a blowjob, and that threw meoff. We talked about that. I
think I called you after it.Yeah, did you know? No,
(06:41):
I honestly it distracted. Like ironically, it didn't hurt as much as I
thought it was going to hurt.But it was one of those things where
I was like, I don't knowthat I can come now, because if
I come, I'm gonna be geto squirters. Yes, if a girl
could squirt in your buttthole, wouldyou let her? I don't know about
(07:01):
in my bloodthole, but yeah,on my buttthole. Why not? Well,
you're saying like a girl has tocome in your butthole, So I
mean it's like that's the only wayI can think, Okay, visualize it.
Well, let's let's let's peel this. This banana a little bit there,
buddy. So so if you ifyour wife decided that she wanted to
transition into a man, and no, guys, don't don't want to imagine
(07:24):
you guys legitimately had this conversation andthey made her some sort of penis made
out of hertoral fucking nerves and ship, and she actually had had a thing
down there. Would you let herfuck you in the ass? No,
because now it's a man. No, it's a biological woman. I it's
(07:47):
not the same. Be wow,can't squirt so right, it's not the
same. It's not the same.Be word not the same you talk about
not to talk about just like corporateshit here real quick, Like I'm totally
about accepting people, and I'm totallyabout like you know, I have no
(08:07):
problem with gay people whatsoever, Likecelebrate your asses off. It's totally fine.
I'm happy that you're able to beout and proud and all that sort
of stuff, Like there's no reasonwhy you shouldn't be. However, this
transgender movement and the whole like corporateof it all, like we went you
(08:28):
see what's going on with like budlight now smearing off? Like why why
are we here in society? Whyare we here? Jake? I don't
know. I was happy just talkingabout squirting a buntle and you had to
bring up my wife's clit turn itinto a penis. So this is your
see you've already you're on the corporatetrain. You're on the corporate train.
You wanted to bring up transgender peniseson the show, and I was just
(08:50):
trying to talk about normal sexuality.So in Transformers, Sam Witwicki ran from
Bumblebee the first time that he transformedfrom a Camaro okay to a transformer,
and he was obviously scared. Sodoes that make Sam witwiki transphobic? Not?
Why? Because it's not trans am. That's a good one. That's
(09:18):
a good one. Ah, thatwas a good one. If it was
a trans am then yeah. Buthe's a chevy boy. He don't like
that firebird. Do you remember thegame stop ma'am person from a few years
ago, it's maam. I feellike ma'am. I feel like if she
was a vehicle, she would becalled a trans mam. I feel like
(09:41):
she would be the first EV semitruck. Oh, five hundred miles high,
heels, five hundred miles balls deep, drink a bud light. Adam's
apple bigger than my dick. That'sa large Adams apple. It's a dude,
that's an that's an Adam's pair.Yeah yeah, like like what other
(10:05):
fruit could like? Okay, howcome we like? Why is it called
an Adam's apple and Adam's apple?I think it has to do with Adam
and Eve. I think I figuredthe apple swallowed it and it sits there.
He also never let him let hercome in his bunfle because she took
(10:28):
his rib. Because women, shetook his rib. She took the bone,
the only bone that he cared aboutfrom his bus right, And that's
why we have one that stands upevery morning. Well, it's not really
trying to fight back for all that. That's more organy like this. That's
how I fled and cells in it. My bone is my bone is trying
to fight back for the other bone. It wants that bone. So we're
coming up on our twenty years highschool reunion. Oh fuck, Pump,
(10:54):
I think it's hilarious. I thinkit's hilarious. I think it's so funny.
If they asked us to m seethat ship, we would still not
go they can, they can suckmy ass. I'm over that. However,
the ten year reunion was funny ina couple different ways. Number One,
(11:16):
this is prior to by what aweek you dating your wife? And
it's hilarious because my ex wife wasthere with her husband that we didn't know
that she got married to. Wellit was it was what was his name?
(11:37):
Randy was her ex husband? Howmany husbands you? Well, if
she gets married again, I thinkit'll be four. Pat, Wow,
I'm pretty sure it'll be four.If you could be on any game show,
what game show would you be on? And why? Now? It
would be like one of those datingones with your ex wife on there,
just so I could fuck with her? Wait didn't you? But I guess
(12:00):
I guess. I don't know datingone on MTV? No, weren't you?
Like what's the one with the bus? No, don't know me like
that. There's a story with thisone. Don't even know what you're talking
about. Where the dude the likethe lady or the dude or whatever.
There's all these dating people on abus and then like they just take a
(12:22):
turn and like it's like next orsomething. I don't even know what it
is. Weren't you. Didn't youtry out? Like you know what you're
talking about. No, I don'tremember. I never. I don't even
know what show you're talking about.I'm gonna look it up. Who who
do you know that tried it outfor MTV? I don't know, dude,
I could swear it was you.No, I don't even know that
(12:43):
show. I belong more on vH one, Like that's that's a channel
for me. It was called nextAll right, what game show? Okay,
what show are you going on?Ideally I'd like to be on Hollywood
Squares. I think Hollywood Squares wouldbe fantastic. Do you remember how Hollywood
(13:07):
Squares was in the early two thousands? You're like, you're like a wish
dot com James Corden up there?Oh for sure, Oh for sure,
because like for a long time,do you remember Hollywood Squares, Like when
Pat was always in the middle,that's classic. Whoopee whoopee was awesome back
in the day. And then theyhad all these different stars come through,
like the B list stars and allthat sort of stuff. I enjoyed that.
(13:30):
I think that that would be fun. Would you ever go on?
On? Oh? What's that?Nick Cannon show on MTV go on wilding
Out. I have friends on thatshow. I think I would do good
on that show. I think Icould freestyle rapkinst people. I think I
could talk crap against people really goodI could do. I could do sketch
Like you know me, I'm goodlive like if you tell me to do
(13:52):
something, if you give me ascript, I suck. Yeah. Do
you think you can do like soyou talked about v H one. Do
you think you can do like thewhat what was the the like Tela Tequila
or I think that was m TV? Oh, like those dating ones.
Yeah, if I was single,I would totally go for like a flavor
(14:13):
of love or chick, like afamous chick that's like now like a dal
with celebrity. Oh, I would. So I think we would machine.
I think we should, like,assuming we've can find a time machine go
back and do that, but callit hater of Love. I could do
that, but I don't think.I don't know who's gonna want to date
(14:33):
me. Well see that's where Iwould also have to time machine grab your
wife and like put her in thereand then somehow like coordinate it to where
you guys win, Because I'm notat home right. I could joke that
one of my favorites was the fakegame show Joe Schmoe Show. Oh,
average Joe is the average show?No, the joke. No, the
Joe Schmoe Show, which was onSpike way back in the day in like
(14:56):
two thousand and three, where itwas a fake reality show to win money
and they like tricked this like normalwholesome guy. Oh dude, I loved
watching that in college. Like you'venever watched that show, go look it
up, dude. Like the guy'slike the epitome of an opie, you
know what, an open right rightright, like at the endies like what
is going on? Like that's howhe talked. Like it was so awesome
(15:20):
because the whole point was like toshow that reality TV is like a sham
and like that people would catch onand they didn't realize that they would get
this like really wholesome dude that justwas there for everybody to win and be
and everybody fell in love with him. They ended up giving him money at
the end. But yeah, itwas a whole fake show. That's awesome.
I enjoy that. Do you doyou like shows where you know,
(15:43):
like, how do I explain thiswhere it's almost like you you're watching it
just to see how bad that itis, because you know it's terrible.
Like, yeah, this show cameout. I think that was only out
for one season, but it wason VH one. I think it was
called The Pickup Artist. Did youever hear about that one? I've heard
where they were Okay, so Iwatched it. It was basically where they
(16:07):
take these guys who have no gamewhatsoever, and it's set in like two
thousand and seven or someone, andthey teach them like how to communicate with
women and not in a sense wherehey, when you communicate with a woman,
you should be respectful and you shouldbe this, and you should be
that. The final challenge is youhave to pick up a stripper from a
(16:29):
strip club and take her home withyou. That's that's the that's the part
of the game. And these thesepeople who might be virgins, might have
no game, might be nerds,might be something else. You have this
host who's apparently like the woman Whisperor whatever, and he takes all of
these all of these dudes who haveno game and teaches them like how to
pick up chicks. And I thoughtIt was hilarious, dude, because I'm
(16:52):
sitting there and I'm watching it,I'm like, there's no way that this
would go over in club. There'sno way that you would go up to
a woman can talk that way andbe like, oh yeah, baby,
you know blah blah blah blah blahblah blah. Like if I remember correctly,
the way that he just told thesemen to get to get the women's
attention is like they would walk intothe club and they would have to say,
(17:15):
hey, did you see the fightoutside, and like that would start
the conversation and then from there theywould have to pick something else up,
whether there was a fight outside ornot. It just seems rather stupid,
rather douchey. I watched the shitout of it because I was curious to
where it was going. Yeah,but pick up artists are always douchey,
right, It's like that friend thatalways told you you can get anybody,
(17:36):
right, like, oh yeah,I know, Like, dude, half
the time it's luck and just halfthe time it's the worst part is it's
always being yourself. And that's Ithink what dudes get wrong. I think
if we can go down that robyeah, like you want to talk about
reality TV like, dude, justdon't know what the fuck they're doing.
It's true, everybody's got a frontnowadays. I was actually thinking about it
(17:59):
today. I think that I wouldlove to go back to a world and
I'd realized we all say this,it has no social media, that has
no twenty four hour television that hasyou know, none of this shit.
And I'm not talking about like,hey, let's rewind the time and you
know relive that. I'm talking aboutlike legitimately, for me, I want
to be able to get to apoint where I have no social media again.
(18:22):
I want to legitimately get to apoint or maybe I don't even have
a TV in the house. Ijust don't know that I'll ever get to
that point, but I guess ifI do, that's fantastic. Like I
think I would love that. Idon't know, I like TV or like
even even like like like I likedit when I didn't have to carry a
(18:44):
cell phone on me, Like youcan't push people in swimming pools now.
No, I think about that stuffall the time, Like like I was
watching a video of these people escapingfrom their car that like went into a
link and The funny thing was theywere throwing their their phones on the top
of the car so they didn't jumpin the water to swim and ruin their
phone. And it's like, youdon't care about your life like you care
(19:07):
about the phone, like right outthings like that. Yeah, bothers me,
dude. It's just a different world. The world sucks. It does
suck. It does suck. Idon't know if it sucks as much as
the Vegas Golden Knights in your world. I hate that out, No,
fuck that, because that's awesome.I love that you hate something so much
that you love to hate it.Dude. My mom was trying to lecture
(19:30):
me on how much I hate them, that I need to calm down.
She thinks it's bad for my head, and she is wrong. She gave
you some camel tea she gave me, which I think is so funny.
Sal she gave me tea speaking ofthat South, Why don't you go ahead
and pour us pour us another onehere? But I think we're just gonna
(19:52):
chill. I don't think we're gonnarecord this. I'm gonna mellow out.
I'm gonna mellow out over here.I'm gonna look at reality TV and my
oh and ignore B word Like mostpeople at the bar these days, like
no, nobody can talk to eachother, like they just stare at a
scream. It's true, it's true, it's true. And with that,
man, I don't really know whatmore we're saying, so there's nothing.
(20:17):
It's the happy hour, like Iknow, drinking and bullshitting, you know,
although I will tell you, uh, fuck that damn podcast, fuck
DN, fuck Ebony. Oh yeah, for for whatever reason, I don't
know, just because it's a randomas to as to do with that.
So yeah, hey, sal canyou can you just give the people some
(20:42):
words of wisdom here real quick?When suck my deck? What he really
means as he loves you souk Bardspoken like a true jack. I love
it. Well, we'll be backnext month. Have a good one,
guys, BA
Hmm, Okay, what's up,sal? I thought that bitch Jake was
(00:41):
gonna be here. Oh there heis walking through the door. Oh yeah,
he looks all dude, he looksangry. I don't know what's going
on here? Dude? Are you? Are you all pissy? What's going
on? Buddy? Always, I'llalways man, that's what they call him.
Well, the hater is a muchdifferent than the pissier, because if
you were the pissier, then Ican definitely understand that. But you're you
(01:02):
just let's go to the bathroom there, well, piss on your face.
Never know, I might like it. I don't think you would. That's
some weird Do you like a spearwhen you pee? Do you sniff your
pea? If I eat the sperrigus? Ok, that's what I have thought.
Yeah, that's both people. SoI know we talked about this before,
but like, is there is therea type of food that that you
(01:26):
actually appreciate the smell when it comesout? No? Yeah, same,
I've not found one. I've notfound one. And separately, I had
some peanuts the other day. Iwent to the store. I had hanged
anchor for peanuts, grabbed this littlelittle can of peanuts, you know,
like the planters or whatever. AndI just snacked on peanuts through out the
day, you know, no bigdeal, mixed nuts and went home.
(01:49):
You know, what I realized isthat peanuts don't digest all the way.
No, it's like corn. Yeah, I didn't know that. It has
been a long time since I justlike snacked on peanuts, and unlike corn,
it wasn't really something that you couldlike rinse off and solve world hunger
with. Well, I think youcan rinse off a peanut because you can
grind it up. You can rinseoff a peanut, yes, but but
(02:12):
you can't really solve world hunger forthe purpose that you're talking about, Like,
yeah, you can grind it up, Like I feel like every time
you digest a peanut, it getsmaller and smaller because especially if somebody's gonna
chew it again. Well that's that'swhat I don't get. Are people just
not chewing corn like I chew mycorn. I know that that's like a
thing, right, Like I don'tunderstand how corn comes out as corn,
(02:37):
Like it doesn't and chew it itcomes out as corn. Bro Like not
chewed corn, it comes out ascorn. Tomato potato, I mean tomato
potato. It doesn't really matter.You know co r In or you know
carn corn like carn I made somecorn. I saw we're gonna need a
(03:00):
couple of waters today. I thinkI'm gonna lay off the beer. Uh
yeah, at least for this month. So so, all right, you
talked about farting, you talked aboutyou've. All you've talked about is butt
steps, bodily functions to bodily functions. But I saw a video that somebody
sent me saying a ring pop candouble as a butt plug. Yeah I
(03:22):
sent that to you, Okay,Okay, it was you. So I
don't think so, I don't thinkit's geot geometrically the same. But it
can be, I guess is thepoint. Yeah, so, I mean
it can, but it's not.Well, it's get I get you that
it's not, but it definitely canbe. Like there's you put it in
(03:44):
a balloon, knot well, Ithing that you would. Yeah, yeah,
I don't know. I okay,So talk to me about this,
dude. Yeah. Catholics. Andthe reason why I say Catholics is because
my aunts was Catholic. Because wetalking lou nuts and you go to Catholic
Because I remember when I was achild and I overheard a conversation where my
(04:06):
aunt was talking to my mom andshe mentioned, and I have multiple aunts,
so like she's gonna go nameless,but she mentioned that her husband does
not want any more children and she'sjust tired of doing it anally. Now,
granted, she probably didn't say thosewords, and over time, that's
what I learned from them. Youmean, but for religions that don't practice
(04:29):
prophylactics or don't practice birth control,like that's kind of the thing, right,
Like like the man is going tomasturbate into your buttthole and that just
doesn't seem all that fair. Whybecause the woman can't masturbate into the man's
buttle Okay, it just seems likeI understand why we live in a misogynistic
(04:53):
society. Like there are certain thingsthat come up. You're gonna look at
it this way, like coming isis like coming for a woman seems internal
and sacred, and for a manit just seems external. And no,
dude, I totally, I totallyunderstand where you're coming from, because it
seems like when a man comes,like it's just so frequent and so expected
(05:17):
that there's no poping circumstance, whereaslike when a woman comes, it's like
you you unlocked an achievement, likean act. You get your little PlayStation
or Xbox award unlock. You know, you get to wear it proudly.
It's a thing. I don't knowi'd let a girl come in my buttole,
I don't doubt that you would.There's a way. I don't doubt
(05:38):
that there's a way. B words, there's a way. There's a way.
You See. The thing about youis, dude, like we've known
each other in our entire fucking lives. And this is what flabberg hats me
for our entire fucking lives. Iknow that maybe aside from a random finger
while you're getting a blowjob or something, that nothing's been in your ass like
(05:59):
and and here we are, andyou're talking about, oh, I would
do ass stuff? The fuck youwould? You haven't? You haven't,
And you're like, oh, Ido it because I don't understand that if
your wife asked you to, youwould do it. But you also know
you also know that your wife wouldnever ask you to do but stuff.
Right? Oh wait, have youhad shit in your ass. I've had
shit in my ass when I'm shittingit out. I know. Here's the
(06:20):
thing. I knew when I askedthat way, You're gonna be like,
oh, yeah, I've had I'vehad corn poop, I've had cord poop.
No, I've had fecal matter travelingoutward. No. I well,
okay, I gotta. I gota finger one time while I was getting
a blowjob, and that threw meoff. We talked about that. I
think I called you after it.Yeah, did you know? No,
(06:41):
I honestly it distracted. Like ironically, it didn't hurt as much as I
thought it was going to hurt.But it was one of those things where
I was like, I don't knowthat I can come now, because if
I come, I'm gonna be geto squirters. Yes, if a girl
could squirt in your buttthole, wouldyou let her? I don't know about
(07:01):
in my bloodthole, but yeah,on my buttthole. Why not? Well,
you're saying like a girl has tocome in your butthole, So I
mean it's like that's the only wayI can think, Okay, visualize it.
Well, let's let's let's peel this. This banana a little bit there,
buddy. So so if you ifyour wife decided that she wanted to
transition into a man, and no, guys, don't don't want to imagine
(07:24):
you guys legitimately had this conversation andthey made her some sort of penis made
out of hertoral fucking nerves and ship, and she actually had had a thing
down there. Would you let herfuck you in the ass? No,
because now it's a man. No, it's a biological woman. I it's
(07:47):
not the same. Be wow,can't squirt so right, it's not the
same. It's not the same.Be word not the same you talk about
not to talk about just like corporateshit here real quick, Like I'm totally
about accepting people, and I'm totallyabout like you know, I have no
(08:07):
problem with gay people whatsoever, Likecelebrate your asses off. It's totally fine.
I'm happy that you're able to beout and proud and all that sort
of stuff, Like there's no reasonwhy you shouldn't be. However, this
transgender movement and the whole like corporateof it all, like we went you
(08:28):
see what's going on with like budlight now smearing off? Like why why
are we here in society? Whyare we here? Jake? I don't
know. I was happy just talkingabout squirting a buntle and you had to
bring up my wife's clit turn itinto a penis. So this is your
see you've already you're on the corporatetrain. You're on the corporate train.
You wanted to bring up transgender peniseson the show, and I was just
(08:50):
trying to talk about normal sexuality.So in Transformers, Sam Witwicki ran from
Bumblebee the first time that he transformedfrom a Camaro okay to a transformer,
and he was obviously scared. Sodoes that make Sam witwiki transphobic? Not?
Why? Because it's not trans am. That's a good one. That's
(09:18):
a good one. Ah, thatwas a good one. If it was
a trans am then yeah. Buthe's a chevy boy. He don't like
that firebird. Do you remember thegame stop ma'am person from a few years
ago, it's maam. I feellike ma'am. I feel like if she
was a vehicle, she would becalled a trans mam. I feel like
(09:41):
she would be the first EV semitruck. Oh, five hundred miles high,
heels, five hundred miles balls deep, drink a bud light. Adam's
apple bigger than my dick. That'sa large Adams apple. It's a dude,
that's an that's an Adam's pair.Yeah yeah, like like what other
(10:05):
fruit could like? Okay, howcome we like? Why is it called
an Adam's apple and Adam's apple?I think it has to do with Adam
and Eve. I think I figuredthe apple swallowed it and it sits there.
He also never let him let hercome in his bunfle because she took
(10:28):
his rib. Because women, shetook his rib. She took the bone,
the only bone that he cared aboutfrom his bus right, And that's
why we have one that stands upevery morning. Well, it's not really
trying to fight back for all that. That's more organy like this. That's
how I fled and cells in it. My bone is my bone is trying
to fight back for the other bone. It wants that bone. So we're
coming up on our twenty years highschool reunion. Oh fuck, Pump,
(10:54):
I think it's hilarious. I thinkit's hilarious. I think it's so funny.
If they asked us to m seethat ship, we would still not
go they can, they can suckmy ass. I'm over that. However,
the ten year reunion was funny ina couple different ways. Number One,
(11:16):
this is prior to by what aweek you dating your wife? And
it's hilarious because my ex wife wasthere with her husband that we didn't know
that she got married to. Wellit was it was what was his name?
(11:37):
Randy was her ex husband? Howmany husbands you? Well, if
she gets married again, I thinkit'll be four. Pat, Wow,
I'm pretty sure it'll be four.If you could be on any game show,
what game show would you be on? And why? Now? It
would be like one of those datingones with your ex wife on there,
just so I could fuck with her? Wait didn't you? But I guess
(12:00):
I guess. I don't know datingone on MTV? No, weren't you?
Like what's the one with the bus? No, don't know me like
that. There's a story with thisone. Don't even know what you're talking
about. Where the dude the likethe lady or the dude or whatever.
There's all these dating people on abus and then like they just take a
(12:22):
turn and like it's like next orsomething. I don't even know what it
is. Weren't you. Didn't youtry out? Like you know what you're
talking about. No, I don'tremember. I never. I don't even
know what show you're talking about.I'm gonna look it up. Who who
do you know that tried it outfor MTV? I don't know, dude,
I could swear it was you.No, I don't even know that
(12:43):
show. I belong more on vH one, Like that's that's a channel
for me. It was called nextAll right, what game show? Okay,
what show are you going on?Ideally I'd like to be on Hollywood
Squares. I think Hollywood Squares wouldbe fantastic. Do you remember how Hollywood
(13:07):
Squares was in the early two thousands? You're like, you're like a wish
dot com James Corden up there?Oh for sure, Oh for sure,
because like for a long time,do you remember Hollywood Squares, Like when
Pat was always in the middle,that's classic. Whoopee whoopee was awesome back
in the day. And then theyhad all these different stars come through,
like the B list stars and allthat sort of stuff. I enjoyed that.
(13:30):
I think that that would be fun. Would you ever go on?
On? Oh? What's that?Nick Cannon show on MTV go on wilding
Out. I have friends on thatshow. I think I would do good
on that show. I think Icould freestyle rapkinst people. I think I
could talk crap against people really goodI could do. I could do sketch
Like you know me, I'm goodlive like if you tell me to do
(13:52):
something, if you give me ascript, I suck. Yeah. Do
you think you can do like soyou talked about v H one. Do
you think you can do like thewhat what was the the like Tela Tequila
or I think that was m TV? Oh, like those dating ones.
Yeah, if I was single,I would totally go for like a flavor
(14:13):
of love or chick, like afamous chick that's like now like a dal
with celebrity. Oh, I would. So I think we would machine.
I think we should, like,assuming we've can find a time machine go
back and do that, but callit hater of Love. I could do
that, but I don't think.I don't know who's gonna want to date
(14:33):
me. Well see that's where Iwould also have to time machine grab your
wife and like put her in thereand then somehow like coordinate it to where
you guys win, Because I'm notat home right. I could joke that
one of my favorites was the fakegame show Joe Schmoe Show. Oh,
average Joe is the average show?No, the joke. No, the
Joe Schmoe Show, which was onSpike way back in the day in like
(14:56):
two thousand and three, where itwas a fake reality show to win money
and they like tricked this like normalwholesome guy. Oh dude, I loved
watching that in college. Like you'venever watched that show, go look it
up, dude. Like the guy'slike the epitome of an opie, you
know what, an open right rightright, like at the endies like what
is going on? Like that's howhe talked. Like it was so awesome
(15:20):
because the whole point was like toshow that reality TV is like a sham
and like that people would catch onand they didn't realize that they would get
this like really wholesome dude that justwas there for everybody to win and be
and everybody fell in love with him. They ended up giving him money at
the end. But yeah, itwas a whole fake show. That's awesome.
I enjoy that. Do you doyou like shows where you know,
(15:43):
like, how do I explain thiswhere it's almost like you you're watching it
just to see how bad that itis, because you know it's terrible.
Like, yeah, this show cameout. I think that was only out
for one season, but it wason VH one. I think it was
called The Pickup Artist. Did youever hear about that one? I've heard
where they were Okay, so Iwatched it. It was basically where they
(16:07):
take these guys who have no gamewhatsoever, and it's set in like two
thousand and seven or someone, andthey teach them like how to communicate with
women and not in a sense wherehey, when you communicate with a woman,
you should be respectful and you shouldbe this, and you should be
that. The final challenge is youhave to pick up a stripper from a
(16:29):
strip club and take her home withyou. That's that's the that's the part
of the game. And these thesepeople who might be virgins, might have
no game, might be nerds,might be something else. You have this
host who's apparently like the woman Whisperor whatever, and he takes all of
these all of these dudes who haveno game and teaches them like how to
pick up chicks. And I thoughtIt was hilarious, dude, because I'm
(16:52):
sitting there and I'm watching it,I'm like, there's no way that this
would go over in club. There'sno way that you would go up to
a woman can talk that way andbe like, oh yeah, baby,
you know blah blah blah blah blahblah blah. Like if I remember correctly,
the way that he just told thesemen to get to get the women's
attention is like they would walk intothe club and they would have to say,
(17:15):
hey, did you see the fightoutside, and like that would start
the conversation and then from there theywould have to pick something else up,
whether there was a fight outside ornot. It just seems rather stupid,
rather douchey. I watched the shitout of it because I was curious to
where it was going. Yeah,but pick up artists are always douchey,
right, It's like that friend thatalways told you you can get anybody,
(17:36):
right, like, oh yeah,I know, Like, dude, half
the time it's luck and just halfthe time it's the worst part is it's
always being yourself. And that's Ithink what dudes get wrong. I think
if we can go down that robyeah, like you want to talk about
reality TV like, dude, justdon't know what the fuck they're doing.
It's true, everybody's got a frontnowadays. I was actually thinking about it
(17:59):
today. I think that I wouldlove to go back to a world and
I'd realized we all say this,it has no social media, that has
no twenty four hour television that hasyou know, none of this shit.
And I'm not talking about like,hey, let's rewind the time and you
know relive that. I'm talking aboutlike legitimately, for me, I want
to be able to get to apoint where I have no social media again.
(18:22):
I want to legitimately get to apoint or maybe I don't even have
a TV in the house. Ijust don't know that I'll ever get to
that point, but I guess ifI do, that's fantastic. Like I
think I would love that. Idon't know, I like TV or like
even even like like like I likedit when I didn't have to carry a
(18:44):
cell phone on me, Like youcan't push people in swimming pools now.
No, I think about that stuffall the time, Like like I was
watching a video of these people escapingfrom their car that like went into a
link and The funny thing was theywere throwing their their phones on the top
of the car so they didn't jumpin the water to swim and ruin their
phone. And it's like, youdon't care about your life like you care
(19:07):
about the phone, like right outthings like that. Yeah, bothers me,
dude. It's just a different world. The world sucks. It does
suck. It does suck. Idon't know if it sucks as much as
the Vegas Golden Knights in your world. I hate that out, No,
fuck that, because that's awesome.I love that you hate something so much
that you love to hate it.Dude. My mom was trying to lecture
(19:30):
me on how much I hate them, that I need to calm down.
She thinks it's bad for my head, and she is wrong. She gave
you some camel tea she gave me, which I think is so funny.
Sal she gave me tea speaking ofthat South, Why don't you go ahead
and pour us pour us another onehere? But I think we're just gonna
(19:52):
chill. I don't think we're gonnarecord this. I'm gonna mellow out.
I'm gonna mellow out over here.I'm gonna look at reality TV and my
oh and ignore B word Like mostpeople at the bar these days, like
no, nobody can talk to eachother, like they just stare at a
scream. It's true, it's true, it's true. And with that,
man, I don't really know whatmore we're saying, so there's nothing.
(20:17):
It's the happy hour, like Iknow, drinking and bullshitting, you know,
although I will tell you, uh, fuck that damn podcast, fuck
DN, fuck Ebony. Oh yeah, for for whatever reason, I don't
know, just because it's a randomas to as to do with that.
So yeah, hey, sal canyou can you just give the people some
(20:42):
words of wisdom here real quick?When suck my deck? What he really
means as he loves you souk Bardspoken like a true jack. I love
it. Well, we'll be backnext month. Have a good one,
guys, BA
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