April 16, 2024 • 22 mins
Bleach Bros Podcast had a thriving podcast hosted by two buddies, B-Word and Jake the Hater. While the podcast folded in late 2023, they are still amazing friends.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:28):
Hey, what's up, sal?Yeah another month, buddy, got some
good shit going on for twenty twentythree. Would you pour me one real
quick? Yeah, Jake's on hisway. You should be here any minute.
Oh, Sal, it's up,word, it's up tune. The
holidays are over, thank god.Here's the thing. You know what's funny
(00:50):
about the holidays is everybody comes inlike, Oh, I'm so excited I
want to do this. You knowwhat it is. It's just a present.
The holidays are just a rap presentfrom your aunt that it's something that
you never wanted, you might haveneeded, you could do without, but
you're happy you got right? Doesthat make sense? Like you, you
sit there, the wrapping looks good, You're you look at it. You're
(01:12):
like, I can't wait for theday I can open that. I can't
wait for that holiday to arrive.Then you open it and you go huh.
And then not everything goes like youopen it, going this wasn't what
I expected. Not everything goes asit expected. Your brother might fight with
you for the holiday. He mightfight with you because he wanted those socks
with a Leprechaun face on it,peeing on a you know, a dog.
(01:32):
I don't know. That's the holidays. That's why it's a it's a
weird present from your I know,and that's why I had to give both
you and your brother the same Christmaspresent this year. Uh. And that
was the Vegas Golden Knights calendar thatI know that all of our followers have
already seen. And I'm still pattingmyself on the back for that. But
let me let me change the subjectfrom holidays real quick. Okay, last
(01:53):
night, there's so much snow here. Like we've talked about this, I'm
gonna bitch for a second. There'sso much snow here. Last night,
I get home and I shovel thedriveway, and my driveway sucks to shovel,
dude. It is not a straightdriveway. Like I do not drive
directly into my garage. You've seenit. I actually have to turn into
my garage. It's pain in theass. And my driveway faces north so
(02:16):
the snow never melts. So it'sjust a fucking ridiculous thing. So I
come home and there's a brand newinch and a half two inches of snow
on my driveway, and so I'msitting here like, okay, let me
just shovel it. So I'm shovelingit, finish the whole damn driveway,
and I get in, dude,and I'm just so fucking beat, like
I'm just tired. I was tiredbefore that happened, Like I'm just done
(02:38):
right. So last night I decided, you know what, I'm gonna try
to watch a feel good movie.Just let's just see what's on. Let's
just see, you know, somethingthat I've watched a thousand times and maybe
that I can just watch and criticize. Right, Okay, I turned on
Grease. Okay, I love Grease. Oh, I absolutely love Greek Day.
Watched it from start to finish,singing along to the songs. Whole
(03:00):
works. I did not realize howfucked up that movie is, though.
Bro, Yeah, you've got pedophilia, you've got like teen sex issues,
You've got you've got some masculine issues, and some taken advantage of women issues
like they could not make Grease today. Bro, like that, not in
the sense of what it is.And it got me thinking, what are
(03:21):
we getting sick of saying that?Yes? And it got me thinking,
And here's why, Because I agreewith you. What movies do you absolutely
fucking love that you would be pissedoff if they canceled. I don't know.
I mean people always bring up blazingsaddles and I could deal without it,
I guess. I mean, Idon't, I don't need it,
right, I don't. I don't. I don't know what movies are getting
(03:43):
canceled that they're not making anymore.Revenge of the Nerds, that's a good
one. I Revenge of the Nerdsis one that I would be pissed if
they canceled. But if you lookat it in the context, right,
or Porky's is another good example.Right, You look at these these films
and like they have this taking advantageof women complex within that right when it
(04:04):
comes to sex, and it alsohas the gratification of and the glorification of,
right, And I just think,but it was comedy, right,
Like comedy is supposed to be risky. Comedy is supposed to be, you
know, pushing boundaries. Do wewant people to get raped? No?
Do we want people to be takenadvantage of? No? But in the
(04:26):
context of a story, sometimes youhave to have some of those things in
order to tell the story. Right. So another one that I was thinking
about American Pie, I don't thinkthey could make American pie right now.
Road Trip, I don't think theycould remake Road Trip. There's so many
of these that I just think youget to the point of society being this
way. It just pisses me off. The difference of that beword is that
(04:49):
they could make those today, butthe way they would make them would piss
us off. It's like when theyread The fresh Prince of Bill Aer and
I'm not putting that in the sameboat as like, oh, you know
you could you couldn't remake it.You could remake The Freshman's Bellair, but
it sucked right Like if you remadeAmerican Pie you could this day. You
could do that. You couldn't redoBlazing Saddles because of the racial humor and
(05:11):
the overtones and stuff. So like, I get what you're saying, and
I but that's why I don't haveas many to pull out of your hat,
because I'm like, yeah, they'dmake American pie and you can have
a guy fuck a pie and stuff, but the way they're gonna make it,
I'm not gonna enjoy it because it'sa vegan pie with no butter and
you know, and you know,it's some Indian kid who came over and
you know, and you can't makefun of him for like you couldn't.
Okay. A good example of thatwould be what's the one Van Wilder?
(05:34):
Yes, yeah, he could nothave an Indian assistant. No, no,
like that's not happened. Well,and he was we didn't know it
at the time, but he wasa gay Indian assistant, right. He
came out of the closet work becausehe had the hot ship. Well,
the actor himself, he's he's Idon't know that he's gay. He came
out worked for Obama, like thewhole works. He was like some sort
of entertainments are or something. Ijust think, I don't know. And
(05:58):
and so recently I did send youover the thing. It was called the
Actor's Roundtable or something, right,and it was like some holly Hollywood reporter
or something like that. And Idon't know if you got a chance to
watch it, but I'm not goingto bring up specifics on that. But
there was a separate one that Iwatched recently that had had people at the
table and one of the guys wasdata from the Goonies, and and you
(06:20):
know, he was in that movieand I haven't watched it yet, I
really like to. But everything,everything, everywhere, all the time,
or whatever the movie's called something likethat. He was talking about how he
wasn't really able to find roles becausehe was Asian and in the nineties that
was kind of a thing. Butthe actor that was next to him,
forgive me, I don't know hisname. He's a he's a black Broadway
(06:42):
star, but he's also black andgay. And his movie that he was
recently in, he was basically ablack gay person within boot camp, like
an army boot camp or something,and that's that's the movie, that's the
story, you know, whatever.And he was basically talking about how,
for a long time he had peoplewho were telling him, hey, you
(07:04):
can't be who you are, andthere's mitigating circumstances, right, but you
can't be who you are and wantto get jobs here. And it got
me thinking, you know, there'sa lot of people who are gay in
Hollywood, and let me tell youwhat, I don't fucking care if you're
gay. You're gay, Like,there's whatever you want to do. I
(07:27):
think the best actors can portray whateverthe role is, whether they're playing a
gay person or whether they're playing astraight person. It doesn't really make it
matter to me. Do you sharethat same view? Do I care if
people are gay? No? DoI care their views outside of No,
because, as you stated, youtold me he was a gay guy,
and all I cared about was theactor he played, like or the role
(07:49):
he played. I mean, Idon't really get into that hole. What
do you do outside? You?Like, there are people I follow outside
and I'm like, Okay, he'scool stuff. But like, I've never
really been starstruck, right, Idon't really give a crap what they do
in their lives. I don't readPeople magazine. I think it's funny that
people care more about other people's livesthan their own. Yeah, so yeah,
B word knowing me, I reallycould give a fuck. Well,
(08:09):
I guess I guess My point wasis, like, you've got actors like
Neil Patrick Harris who play both straightand gay characters. Right, whether you
consider him a good actor or not, he does a pretty good job at
both roles. I mean, youlook at at Bernie from How I Met
your Mother's was that his name Bernie? That doesn't sound that Bernie. Okay,
Barney Barnie Barnie, and so youknow he did a phenomenal job at
(08:30):
that role, right, But hedoes a phenomenal job as a gay role
now in society. I just thinkthat if you're a good actor, you
can play a good role. AndI think that there's some let me be
let me be a dickhead about this, let me be a dickhead to you
then about this and poor another shotsou Let's say, hold on, bward,
salute to that. Take it down. Okay, Let's say we knew
he was well, we knew NeilPatrick Harris was gay, right, Yeah,
(08:52):
and Barney he's an over sexed,misogynistic gets asked for right. Right?
Do you do you feel that welet him one get away with acting
that way because he's gay, andtwo two that he does a good a
better job because it's so outside ofhis realm. He could be the total
opposite, like a total dick addyes, And here's the reason. If
(09:16):
you look at how Ellen DeGeneres hasbeen since she's been you know, open
about her sexuality, I think thatshe's gotten away with more than let's say
a male host would, right,Like they both like vagina, right,
But you see some of these actorsand actresses coming onto Ellen's show when she
had a show I don't even knowif her show's still on, and she
(09:37):
was talking about what's your favorite bodypart of your husband or whatever, and
so people would say, you know, oh, well it would you know,
it's it's biceps or whatever, andthen she'd say, oh, it's
his dick, right, And sohere's Ellen Degenerous talking about a celebrity's spouse's
body part. Do I care aboutthat? No? Am I gonna watch
it? No? But my pointis, what if that was a male
(10:00):
would the male host have gotten awaywith that regardless of the gender of the
other person. I don't think so. I don't think unless he was a
gay male. It's like unless hewas a gay male host, and I
think there's difference there. So mypoint is is that there is a double
standard with some of this stuff.And I guess it just kind of drives
me nuts, man, Like,I just don't like cancel culture. We
talk about it, you know,regularly, I guess, but it's just
(10:22):
it's one of those stupid things insociety right now. Yeah, I agree,
Like, do you feel anybody elsecould host family feud like Steve Harvey
does well, yeah, I meanthere's been like eight hosts of that no,
only in the same manner as dirtyas him. See you say as
dirty as him. I don't knowthat he's that dirty. I think that
(10:43):
his reacty, he's dirty. Imean, but the show's gotten the show
is no longer family friendly, myman. Let's just say that, you
know, I I don't. Ithink that you're gonna have if you were
to replace Steve Harvey as the host, you would have to have another host
who can react in the same waythat he is. I don't know that
the show's necessarily dirty because he's thehost. I think that the show's evolved
(11:05):
into that because that's what people like. People like to laugh. If you
look at a comedian's journey, theirfirst few jokes are all farts, burps
and sex, right, So eventually, when they grow, they're now going
to make more jokes about you know, being a dad, or family,
or interactions with people or work,or just as their life develops, the
(11:26):
topics are going to change. AndI think that with society we've hit the
point of farts, burps and sexas being funny, and that's where we're
at right now, and I don'tdispute it, and I mean they're hilarious.
I just think that that's where society'sat, and I think that society
will mature from that, whether itgoes back to some form of a you
(11:46):
know, conservative religious society where itbans that stuff, or it pushes too
far into too many things where theyhave to rescind it, you know.
I just think that the pendulum swingson that. So whether that it's going
to happen in the short term ofthe long term, I don't know.
Okay, what movie do you feellike they should make remake? Now?
(12:07):
Though that was probably done badly,like that they could have done better.
I love that you asked it thatway because I saw a quote recently that
said we should stop trying to remakemovies that were hits. We should try
to remake the bad movies that hada great story like Snyder versus movies like
you know what I mean, likelike give me these you know, give
(12:28):
me a film or or or amovie based on a television show that was
like you know that that has thatgood story to it, but that was
done badly. Off the top ofmy head, I can't really think of
one, to be honest with you, because I'm being put on the spot.
I don't know, man. Imean, there's there's a lot of
terrible movies out there, but somemovies are terrible and I love it,
(12:50):
like like I love I love howcampy Howard the Duck is. I don't
want them to remake that, althougheventually they're probably going to. I just
I don't know, do you havea movie that you're thinking of it redo
it again? Because the last iterationwas I was so because you know this,
I was so hyped for them thatand not that it was bad,
but it wasn't. It wasn't amazingas amazing as I thought it was gonna
(13:11):
be. And I'd rather redo itmine. I don't want him to do
it now. I want to giveit years. Can can I argue was
totally that Tim Curry's version of itas your replaceable though in a way,
but I mean even this, this, this version Alans Gargart, the the
the dynamic and everything behind it wasgreat. I guess It's just like I
left the theater going huh, likethat was that was it? And that
(13:35):
was that was a movie like Outthe Gate. I'll never forget because my
brother went with me, and mybrother really wasn't excited to see it.
My brother's funny with movies, youknow that. And we went and he's
just like, so would you thinkand I was like, yeah, he
goes. I just feel bad foryou because you were so excited. Yeah,
And I could just tell and Idon't know, it just it was
so to me. That just standsout because I remember I was fucking pumped.
I was pumped for that. Ilove the book. I love the
(13:58):
Tim Curry one, and I likethis one, and I've watched it a
lot. I just I just wishit could get redone again. I mean,
I guess if you're going in thatvein, i'd probably say Green Lantern,
like I'd like to see Green Lanterndone appropriately with you know, the
Lantern Verse and having it dark andblockbusterish and all that sort of stuff.
I guess what I was more orless thinking about when you asked me the
(14:18):
question is like, what is asmaller movie, maybe a low budget movie
that didn't have the appropriate actor ordirector or whatever that may be, that
with the right cast, with theright writing, with whatever, could be
like phenomenal. And that's where Iwas just struggling to try to pick something
up. Right there, gotcha?Because the other one I would do is
Aragon. Yeah, we've talked theEldest Books series. Yeah. I mean
(14:41):
there's a scene when I watched itwith my wife on our movie night right,
and she goes, that guy's wearingjeans, and I paused it and
there was literally a night guy justwalking around like they could give a fuck,
and he's just in blue jeans,and I was just like, wow,
like you could tell the movie theyjust fucking gave up. Oh yeah,
yeah that I mean. I guessanother one would be The Green Inferno
(15:01):
by Eli Roth, a horror movie. I mind you, I think most
horror movies are dumb, but thatwas when I was pumped up about like,
okay, cannibalism, you're down there, you're doing this, like you
can really go all out with this. And people were like, it's just
you know, it makes you right, And I watched them and it sucks.
Right, movie sucks like it's sobad and it's not like bad in
the good way, like Black sheepEr, Skinny Tiger, Fatty Dragon.
There's like no redeemable qualities about thatmovie, right, yeah, it's it's
(15:24):
hard, man. I think Ithink that there's you know, there's some
really terrible movies that are out there. I think you can look at some
of the National Lampoons movies and maybewith some different actors, maybe some better
writing, it could be really good. American Pie, you know, to
kind of circle back, created thatfranchise for a while. They had band
camp, they had you know,all that sort of stuff. You know
(15:45):
that, in essence, American Piebecame like a modern day National Lampoons there
for a while, and you knowthat you can kind of take that and
go from there. I don't know, I just I love, you know,
ingenuity. I love innovation. Likeyou look at Avatar. The story
of Avatar is basically the story ofdancing with wolves and you know the Pogonas
(16:07):
too, yeah, Pokehonas too.And so what you're what you're dealing with
is just the same story over andover. It's just you know, here's
blue aliens from space and you know, dude claps cheeks and all this sort
of stuff. By the way,I did go see Avatar too, three
and a half hours worth of amovie. But if you if you're going
in there planning to get a drink. Don't because you're gonna have to piss
yourself. And not bad, notbad, but not great either. I
(16:33):
mean they're talking about it's it's hitall the marks from the box office thing,
but I I don't know. Itwas a good movie. It was
visually, it was stunning, thestory, the story was just soft to
me. Do you speaking of pissingyourself? Did you know some of my
friend used to manage theaters and hetold me that's the number one thing that
the problem they deal with. There'speople pissing in the seats. I'll bet
like I can't. The older you'vegotten, let's just get on that.
(16:57):
The older you've gotten, How likedo you have to pee more now that
you're in the theater? Like Iremember, I used to be able to
sit through like a two hour movieand like not even a fucking WinCE,
And now it's like fuck, yeah, no, I I if I know
that I'm going to the theater,I just regulate how much I'm drinking beforehand
so that way I don't have topeel. I'm an animal. The older
you got, do you feel likeyour penis is getting smaller? Yeah?
(17:19):
Why is that? And it's notjust because we're getting fatter, but like,
why, well, it's because I'mgetting fatter. And it's because,
you know, my penis is basicallyturning into my nose, Like my nose
is getting bigger, my ears aregetting bigger. Speaking of and I know
we'll talk bodily fluids another time andbodily functions another time. But dude,
the stupidest thing happened to me.We uh, as men, we grow
(17:42):
hair from places, right, andwe usually like to trim hairs, you
know, whether the beer nose orears or whatever. And I have this
trimmer where the double A battery randead, and so I meant to I
took the double A battery out ofit, and I meant to go and
replace it. Went out to thekitchen, threw it in there. Everybody's
a junk drawer, that's where Ikeep my batteries, pulled the drunk drawer
out, grabbed a battery set upby the microwave, and I was onto
(18:03):
something else. Just completely forgot aboutit for two weeks. Bro, I
completely forgot about this thing. Andevery time I'd be in the bathroom,
like getting ready for work or whatever, like, man, I need to
go get that double a battery,dude. I grew ear hairs like nobody's
business, dude, Like they growout of my ears. Like I think
I had a too, Like agrowth of two inch hairs going off of
my ears. I went to thebarber. It's like, we've got to
(18:26):
trim your ears. Oh that's cool. It's like we got to trim your
eyebrows. Fuck. So I'm gettingto that age, dude, where like
hair grows, dix don't, andbellies do. Yeah. My, I
think my dick's getting smaller. Thankgod, I really do. Though,
I'm just there's I've been contemplated.I want it. There's a movie I
(18:48):
can't remember what it is where thekid measures his boner every morning. Oh
and then he jumps like mom goesto walk in his Yeah, it's it's
fucking well. It got me becauseyou were talking American pie and stuff,
and it's so funny. The kidmeasured it every morning and he's got a
chart next to his bed and hismom comes to walk in and he turned,
jumps and turns in the air andlands on his boner. Oh.
I gotta remember this movie now,but it's so funny. But yeah,
(19:10):
I don't know that. No,I'm growing here in my ears. I
mean, I've always had my eyebrowstrim though, whenever I got to the
barber. Yeah, Like, isthat one of your favorite things to do?
Dude, I love going to thebarber. I love going to the
barber. I fall asleep. No, I don't fall asleep because because honestly,
I'm talking to I'm talking to mybarber. Like the last time we
were in there. You and Ihave talked about this off air. But
the younger dryest theory, right,the younger dryest flood theory, that's my
(19:36):
that that's my jam right now.Like I've been watching that like Ancient Ancient
Civilizations on Netflix. I went allthe way through that. I've been doing
YouTube videos from Graham Hancock, YouTubevideos from Johannah Johannah Jones I think is
her name. I've been trying toconsume as much as I can on this
little did I know that my barber'sdoing the exact same. So when I
(19:56):
got my when I got cleaned uplast weekend, and actually we're having that
conversation, and dude, my haircutwas done and I stayed twenty five minutes
to continue the conversation about this shipbecause it was just fascinating and we just
went back and forth. My barberis a legit dude. I've been going
to him for a few years nowand well probably four years now, and
(20:18):
yeah, he's he's good. Hisprices have gone up in that time,
thanks Obama. But you know,what do you do? What do you
how do you get your haircut?How? I mean how do I get
out? Okay, so finger withfinger with on top and then finger with
finger, winger with not finger linkfinger with wow, and then a high
skin fade. Yeah, I doa zero skin fade, high and tight,
(20:41):
a little bit trim on top.And then every time they go what
do you want me to do inthe front because I'm losing hair, I
say, just push it forward andhope for the best. And that's how
I feel about the penis, That'show I feel about my eyebrows on my
ear hair, That's how I feelabout movies these days. And on that
NOTEVI word, this has been funyou and Salve, but I better get
home before the wife thinks my dickgets interesting. Well hold on, hold
on, because if you're does getsmaller like options open up, bro for
(21:03):
who for you. All I'm sayingis if you actually lose leg like,
there's options open up for you.I'll leave that ambiguous, but uh,
you know and speak, it's notambiguous. I could do more position you
can. And then one last onelast note before I let you out of
here, and I'll pay for yourwater. If your wife was six foot
seven, four hundred pounds, thisworld would be fucking her domain, dude.
(21:27):
So there are people that like arejust like she would, dude.
She would control this whole fucking thing. Your wife would be scary. There
are women out there that are justcomplete badasses and the moment that they know
that they can control everything and theydo, like the world would be a
better place with your wife being sixfoot eight, six foot seven, four
(21:48):
hundred pounds, dude, it wouldjust be great. Yeah, But I
don't know. If she leave mywife, then I'm gonna be a dick
and say that I don't want towear very shrek. Oh god death,
that's my snoop. No, that'sno, that's dead by small al Right,
So you hand me that bill salR out of here.
Hey, what's up, sal?Yeah another month, buddy, got some
good shit going on for twenty twentythree. Would you pour me one real
quick? Yeah, Jake's on hisway. You should be here any minute.
Oh, Sal, it's up,word, it's up tune. The
holidays are over, thank god.Here's the thing. You know what's funny
(00:50):
about the holidays is everybody comes inlike, Oh, I'm so excited I
want to do this. You knowwhat it is. It's just a present.
The holidays are just a rap presentfrom your aunt that it's something that
you never wanted, you might haveneeded, you could do without, but
you're happy you got right? Doesthat make sense? Like you, you
sit there, the wrapping looks good, You're you look at it. You're
(01:12):
like, I can't wait for theday I can open that. I can't
wait for that holiday to arrive.Then you open it and you go huh.
And then not everything goes like youopen it, going this wasn't what
I expected. Not everything goes asit expected. Your brother might fight with
you for the holiday. He mightfight with you because he wanted those socks
with a Leprechaun face on it,peeing on a you know, a dog.
(01:32):
I don't know. That's the holidays. That's why it's a it's a
weird present from your I know,and that's why I had to give both
you and your brother the same Christmaspresent this year. Uh. And that
was the Vegas Golden Knights calendar thatI know that all of our followers have
already seen. And I'm still pattingmyself on the back for that. But
let me let me change the subjectfrom holidays real quick. Okay, last
(01:53):
night, there's so much snow here. Like we've talked about this, I'm
gonna bitch for a second. There'sso much snow here. Last night,
I get home and I shovel thedriveway, and my driveway sucks to shovel,
dude. It is not a straightdriveway. Like I do not drive
directly into my garage. You've seenit. I actually have to turn into
my garage. It's pain in theass. And my driveway faces north so
(02:16):
the snow never melts. So it'sjust a fucking ridiculous thing. So I
come home and there's a brand newinch and a half two inches of snow
on my driveway, and so I'msitting here like, okay, let me
just shovel it. So I'm shovelingit, finish the whole damn driveway,
and I get in, dude,and I'm just so fucking beat, like
I'm just tired. I was tiredbefore that happened, Like I'm just done
(02:38):
right. So last night I decided, you know what, I'm gonna try
to watch a feel good movie.Just let's just see what's on. Let's
just see, you know, somethingthat I've watched a thousand times and maybe
that I can just watch and criticize. Right, Okay, I turned on
Grease. Okay, I love Grease. Oh, I absolutely love Greek Day.
Watched it from start to finish,singing along to the songs. Whole
(03:00):
works. I did not realize howfucked up that movie is, though.
Bro, Yeah, you've got pedophilia, you've got like teen sex issues,
You've got you've got some masculine issues, and some taken advantage of women issues
like they could not make Grease today. Bro, like that, not in
the sense of what it is.And it got me thinking, what are
(03:21):
we getting sick of saying that?Yes? And it got me thinking,
And here's why, Because I agreewith you. What movies do you absolutely
fucking love that you would be pissedoff if they canceled. I don't know.
I mean people always bring up blazingsaddles and I could deal without it,
I guess. I mean, Idon't, I don't need it,
right, I don't. I don't. I don't know what movies are getting
(03:43):
canceled that they're not making anymore.Revenge of the Nerds, that's a good
one. I Revenge of the Nerdsis one that I would be pissed if
they canceled. But if you lookat it in the context, right,
or Porky's is another good example.Right, You look at these these films
and like they have this taking advantageof women complex within that right when it
(04:04):
comes to sex, and it alsohas the gratification of and the glorification of,
right, And I just think,but it was comedy, right,
Like comedy is supposed to be risky. Comedy is supposed to be, you
know, pushing boundaries. Do wewant people to get raped? No?
Do we want people to be takenadvantage of? No? But in the
(04:26):
context of a story, sometimes youhave to have some of those things in
order to tell the story. Right. So another one that I was thinking
about American Pie, I don't thinkthey could make American pie right now.
Road Trip, I don't think theycould remake Road Trip. There's so many
of these that I just think youget to the point of society being this
way. It just pisses me off. The difference of that beword is that
(04:49):
they could make those today, butthe way they would make them would piss
us off. It's like when theyread The fresh Prince of Bill Aer and
I'm not putting that in the sameboat as like, oh, you know
you could you couldn't remake it.You could remake The Freshman's Bellair, but
it sucked right Like if you remadeAmerican Pie you could this day. You
could do that. You couldn't redoBlazing Saddles because of the racial humor and
(05:11):
the overtones and stuff. So like, I get what you're saying, and
I but that's why I don't haveas many to pull out of your hat,
because I'm like, yeah, they'dmake American pie and you can have
a guy fuck a pie and stuff, but the way they're gonna make it,
I'm not gonna enjoy it because it'sa vegan pie with no butter and
you know, and you know,it's some Indian kid who came over and
you know, and you can't makefun of him for like you couldn't.
Okay. A good example of thatwould be what's the one Van Wilder?
(05:34):
Yes, yeah, he could nothave an Indian assistant. No, no,
like that's not happened. Well,and he was we didn't know it
at the time, but he wasa gay Indian assistant, right. He
came out of the closet work becausehe had the hot ship. Well,
the actor himself, he's he's Idon't know that he's gay. He came
out worked for Obama, like thewhole works. He was like some sort
of entertainments are or something. Ijust think, I don't know. And
(05:58):
and so recently I did send youover the thing. It was called the
Actor's Roundtable or something, right,and it was like some holly Hollywood reporter
or something like that. And Idon't know if you got a chance to
watch it, but I'm not goingto bring up specifics on that. But
there was a separate one that Iwatched recently that had had people at the
table and one of the guys wasdata from the Goonies, and and you
(06:20):
know, he was in that movieand I haven't watched it yet, I
really like to. But everything,everything, everywhere, all the time,
or whatever the movie's called something likethat. He was talking about how he
wasn't really able to find roles becausehe was Asian and in the nineties that
was kind of a thing. Butthe actor that was next to him,
forgive me, I don't know hisname. He's a he's a black Broadway
(06:42):
star, but he's also black andgay. And his movie that he was
recently in, he was basically ablack gay person within boot camp, like
an army boot camp or something,and that's that's the movie, that's the
story, you know, whatever.And he was basically talking about how,
for a long time he had peoplewho were telling him, hey, you
(07:04):
can't be who you are, andthere's mitigating circumstances, right, but you
can't be who you are and wantto get jobs here. And it got
me thinking, you know, there'sa lot of people who are gay in
Hollywood, and let me tell youwhat, I don't fucking care if you're
gay. You're gay, Like,there's whatever you want to do. I
(07:27):
think the best actors can portray whateverthe role is, whether they're playing a
gay person or whether they're playing astraight person. It doesn't really make it
matter to me. Do you sharethat same view? Do I care if
people are gay? No? DoI care their views outside of No,
because, as you stated, youtold me he was a gay guy,
and all I cared about was theactor he played, like or the role
(07:49):
he played. I mean, Idon't really get into that hole. What
do you do outside? You?Like, there are people I follow outside
and I'm like, Okay, he'scool stuff. But like, I've never
really been starstruck, right, Idon't really give a crap what they do
in their lives. I don't readPeople magazine. I think it's funny that
people care more about other people's livesthan their own. Yeah, so yeah,
B word knowing me, I reallycould give a fuck. Well,
(08:09):
I guess I guess My point wasis, like, you've got actors like
Neil Patrick Harris who play both straightand gay characters. Right, whether you
consider him a good actor or not, he does a pretty good job at
both roles. I mean, youlook at at Bernie from How I Met
your Mother's was that his name Bernie? That doesn't sound that Bernie. Okay,
Barney Barnie Barnie, and so youknow he did a phenomenal job at
(08:30):
that role, right, But hedoes a phenomenal job as a gay role
now in society. I just thinkthat if you're a good actor, you
can play a good role. AndI think that there's some let me be
let me be a dickhead about this, let me be a dickhead to you
then about this and poor another shotsou Let's say, hold on, bward,
salute to that. Take it down. Okay, Let's say we knew
he was well, we knew NeilPatrick Harris was gay, right, Yeah,
(08:52):
and Barney he's an over sexed,misogynistic gets asked for right. Right?
Do you do you feel that welet him one get away with acting
that way because he's gay, andtwo two that he does a good a
better job because it's so outside ofhis realm. He could be the total
opposite, like a total dick addyes, And here's the reason. If
(09:16):
you look at how Ellen DeGeneres hasbeen since she's been you know, open
about her sexuality, I think thatshe's gotten away with more than let's say
a male host would, right,Like they both like vagina, right,
But you see some of these actorsand actresses coming onto Ellen's show when she
had a show I don't even knowif her show's still on, and she
(09:37):
was talking about what's your favorite bodypart of your husband or whatever, and
so people would say, you know, oh, well it would you know,
it's it's biceps or whatever, andthen she'd say, oh, it's
his dick, right, And sohere's Ellen Degenerous talking about a celebrity's spouse's
body part. Do I care aboutthat? No? Am I gonna watch
it? No? But my pointis, what if that was a male
(10:00):
would the male host have gotten awaywith that regardless of the gender of the
other person. I don't think so. I don't think unless he was a
gay male. It's like unless hewas a gay male host, and I
think there's difference there. So mypoint is is that there is a double
standard with some of this stuff.And I guess it just kind of drives
me nuts, man, Like,I just don't like cancel culture. We
talk about it, you know,regularly, I guess, but it's just
(10:22):
it's one of those stupid things insociety right now. Yeah, I agree,
Like, do you feel anybody elsecould host family feud like Steve Harvey
does well, yeah, I meanthere's been like eight hosts of that no,
only in the same manner as dirtyas him. See you say as
dirty as him. I don't knowthat he's that dirty. I think that
(10:43):
his reacty, he's dirty. Imean, but the show's gotten the show
is no longer family friendly, myman. Let's just say that, you
know, I I don't. Ithink that you're gonna have if you were
to replace Steve Harvey as the host, you would have to have another host
who can react in the same waythat he is. I don't know that
the show's necessarily dirty because he's thehost. I think that the show's evolved
(11:05):
into that because that's what people like. People like to laugh. If you
look at a comedian's journey, theirfirst few jokes are all farts, burps
and sex, right, So eventually, when they grow, they're now going
to make more jokes about you know, being a dad, or family,
or interactions with people or work,or just as their life develops, the
(11:26):
topics are going to change. AndI think that with society we've hit the
point of farts, burps and sexas being funny, and that's where we're
at right now, and I don'tdispute it, and I mean they're hilarious.
I just think that that's where society'sat, and I think that society
will mature from that, whether itgoes back to some form of a you
(11:46):
know, conservative religious society where itbans that stuff, or it pushes too
far into too many things where theyhave to rescind it, you know.
I just think that the pendulum swingson that. So whether that it's going
to happen in the short term ofthe long term, I don't know.
Okay, what movie do you feellike they should make remake? Now?
(12:07):
Though that was probably done badly,like that they could have done better.
I love that you asked it thatway because I saw a quote recently that
said we should stop trying to remakemovies that were hits. We should try
to remake the bad movies that hada great story like Snyder versus movies like
you know what I mean, likelike give me these you know, give
(12:28):
me a film or or or amovie based on a television show that was
like you know that that has thatgood story to it, but that was
done badly. Off the top ofmy head, I can't really think of
one, to be honest with you, because I'm being put on the spot.
I don't know, man. Imean, there's there's a lot of
terrible movies out there, but somemovies are terrible and I love it,
(12:50):
like like I love I love howcampy Howard the Duck is. I don't
want them to remake that, althougheventually they're probably going to. I just
I don't know, do you havea movie that you're thinking of it redo
it again? Because the last iterationwas I was so because you know this,
I was so hyped for them thatand not that it was bad,
but it wasn't. It wasn't amazingas amazing as I thought it was gonna
(13:11):
be. And I'd rather redo itmine. I don't want him to do
it now. I want to giveit years. Can can I argue was
totally that Tim Curry's version of itas your replaceable though in a way,
but I mean even this, this, this version Alans Gargart, the the
the dynamic and everything behind it wasgreat. I guess It's just like I
left the theater going huh, likethat was that was it? And that
(13:35):
was that was a movie like Outthe Gate. I'll never forget because my
brother went with me, and mybrother really wasn't excited to see it.
My brother's funny with movies, youknow that. And we went and he's
just like, so would you thinkand I was like, yeah, he
goes. I just feel bad foryou because you were so excited. Yeah,
And I could just tell and Idon't know, it just it was
so to me. That just standsout because I remember I was fucking pumped.
I was pumped for that. Ilove the book. I love the
(13:58):
Tim Curry one, and I likethis one, and I've watched it a
lot. I just I just wishit could get redone again. I mean,
I guess if you're going in thatvein, i'd probably say Green Lantern,
like I'd like to see Green Lanterndone appropriately with you know, the
Lantern Verse and having it dark andblockbusterish and all that sort of stuff.
I guess what I was more orless thinking about when you asked me the
(14:18):
question is like, what is asmaller movie, maybe a low budget movie
that didn't have the appropriate actor ordirector or whatever that may be, that
with the right cast, with theright writing, with whatever, could be
like phenomenal. And that's where Iwas just struggling to try to pick something
up. Right there, gotcha?Because the other one I would do is
Aragon. Yeah, we've talked theEldest Books series. Yeah. I mean
(14:41):
there's a scene when I watched itwith my wife on our movie night right,
and she goes, that guy's wearingjeans, and I paused it and
there was literally a night guy justwalking around like they could give a fuck,
and he's just in blue jeans,and I was just like, wow,
like you could tell the movie theyjust fucking gave up. Oh yeah,
yeah that I mean. I guessanother one would be The Green Inferno
(15:01):
by Eli Roth, a horror movie. I mind you, I think most
horror movies are dumb, but thatwas when I was pumped up about like,
okay, cannibalism, you're down there, you're doing this, like you
can really go all out with this. And people were like, it's just
you know, it makes you right, And I watched them and it sucks.
Right, movie sucks like it's sobad and it's not like bad in
the good way, like Black sheepEr, Skinny Tiger, Fatty Dragon.
There's like no redeemable qualities about thatmovie, right, yeah, it's it's
(15:24):
hard, man. I think Ithink that there's you know, there's some
really terrible movies that are out there. I think you can look at some
of the National Lampoons movies and maybewith some different actors, maybe some better
writing, it could be really good. American Pie, you know, to
kind of circle back, created thatfranchise for a while. They had band
camp, they had you know,all that sort of stuff. You know
(15:45):
that, in essence, American Piebecame like a modern day National Lampoons there
for a while, and you knowthat you can kind of take that and
go from there. I don't know, I just I love, you know,
ingenuity. I love innovation. Likeyou look at Avatar. The story
of Avatar is basically the story ofdancing with wolves and you know the Pogonas
(16:07):
too, yeah, Pokehonas too.And so what you're what you're dealing with
is just the same story over andover. It's just you know, here's
blue aliens from space and you know, dude claps cheeks and all this sort
of stuff. By the way,I did go see Avatar too, three
and a half hours worth of amovie. But if you if you're going
in there planning to get a drink. Don't because you're gonna have to piss
yourself. And not bad, notbad, but not great either. I
(16:33):
mean they're talking about it's it's hitall the marks from the box office thing,
but I I don't know. Itwas a good movie. It was
visually, it was stunning, thestory, the story was just soft to
me. Do you speaking of pissingyourself? Did you know some of my
friend used to manage theaters and hetold me that's the number one thing that
the problem they deal with. There'speople pissing in the seats. I'll bet
like I can't. The older you'vegotten, let's just get on that.
(16:57):
The older you've gotten, How likedo you have to pee more now that
you're in the theater? Like Iremember, I used to be able to
sit through like a two hour movieand like not even a fucking WinCE,
And now it's like fuck, yeah, no, I I if I know
that I'm going to the theater,I just regulate how much I'm drinking beforehand
so that way I don't have topeel. I'm an animal. The older
you got, do you feel likeyour penis is getting smaller? Yeah?
(17:19):
Why is that? And it's notjust because we're getting fatter, but like,
why, well, it's because I'mgetting fatter. And it's because,
you know, my penis is basicallyturning into my nose, Like my nose
is getting bigger, my ears aregetting bigger. Speaking of and I know
we'll talk bodily fluids another time andbodily functions another time. But dude,
the stupidest thing happened to me.We uh, as men, we grow
(17:42):
hair from places, right, andwe usually like to trim hairs, you
know, whether the beer nose orears or whatever. And I have this
trimmer where the double A battery randead, and so I meant to I
took the double A battery out ofit, and I meant to go and
replace it. Went out to thekitchen, threw it in there. Everybody's
a junk drawer, that's where Ikeep my batteries, pulled the drunk drawer
out, grabbed a battery set upby the microwave, and I was onto
(18:03):
something else. Just completely forgot aboutit for two weeks. Bro, I
completely forgot about this thing. Andevery time I'd be in the bathroom,
like getting ready for work or whatever, like, man, I need to
go get that double a battery,dude. I grew ear hairs like nobody's
business, dude, Like they growout of my ears. Like I think
I had a too, Like agrowth of two inch hairs going off of
my ears. I went to thebarber. It's like, we've got to
(18:26):
trim your ears. Oh that's cool. It's like we got to trim your
eyebrows. Fuck. So I'm gettingto that age, dude, where like
hair grows, dix don't, andbellies do. Yeah. My, I
think my dick's getting smaller. Thankgod, I really do. Though,
I'm just there's I've been contemplated.I want it. There's a movie I
(18:48):
can't remember what it is where thekid measures his boner every morning. Oh
and then he jumps like mom goesto walk in his Yeah, it's it's
fucking well. It got me becauseyou were talking American pie and stuff,
and it's so funny. The kidmeasured it every morning and he's got a
chart next to his bed and hismom comes to walk in and he turned,
jumps and turns in the air andlands on his boner. Oh.
I gotta remember this movie now,but it's so funny. But yeah,
(19:10):
I don't know that. No,I'm growing here in my ears. I
mean, I've always had my eyebrowstrim though, whenever I got to the
barber. Yeah, Like, isthat one of your favorite things to do?
Dude, I love going to thebarber. I love going to the
barber. I fall asleep. No, I don't fall asleep because because honestly,
I'm talking to I'm talking to mybarber. Like the last time we
were in there. You and Ihave talked about this off air. But
the younger dryest theory, right,the younger dryest flood theory, that's my
(19:36):
that that's my jam right now.Like I've been watching that like Ancient Ancient
Civilizations on Netflix. I went allthe way through that. I've been doing
YouTube videos from Graham Hancock, YouTubevideos from Johannah Johannah Jones I think is
her name. I've been trying toconsume as much as I can on this
little did I know that my barber'sdoing the exact same. So when I
(19:56):
got my when I got cleaned uplast weekend, and actually we're having that
conversation, and dude, my haircutwas done and I stayed twenty five minutes
to continue the conversation about this shipbecause it was just fascinating and we just
went back and forth. My barberis a legit dude. I've been going
to him for a few years nowand well probably four years now, and
(20:18):
yeah, he's he's good. Hisprices have gone up in that time,
thanks Obama. But you know,what do you do? What do you
how do you get your haircut?How? I mean how do I get
out? Okay, so finger withfinger with on top and then finger with
finger, winger with not finger linkfinger with wow, and then a high
skin fade. Yeah, I doa zero skin fade, high and tight,
(20:41):
a little bit trim on top.And then every time they go what
do you want me to do inthe front because I'm losing hair, I
say, just push it forward andhope for the best. And that's how
I feel about the penis, That'show I feel about my eyebrows on my
ear hair, That's how I feelabout movies these days. And on that
NOTEVI word, this has been funyou and Salve, but I better get
home before the wife thinks my dickgets interesting. Well hold on, hold
on, because if you're does getsmaller like options open up, bro for
(21:03):
who for you. All I'm sayingis if you actually lose leg like,
there's options open up for you.I'll leave that ambiguous, but uh,
you know and speak, it's notambiguous. I could do more position you
can. And then one last onelast note before I let you out of
here, and I'll pay for yourwater. If your wife was six foot
seven, four hundred pounds, thisworld would be fucking her domain, dude.
(21:27):
So there are people that like arejust like she would, dude.
She would control this whole fucking thing. Your wife would be scary. There
are women out there that are justcomplete badasses and the moment that they know
that they can control everything and theydo, like the world would be a
better place with your wife being sixfoot eight, six foot seven, four
(21:48):
hundred pounds, dude, it wouldjust be great. Yeah, But I
don't know. If she leave mywife, then I'm gonna be a dick
and say that I don't want towear very shrek. Oh god death,
that's my snoop. No, that'sno, that's dead by small al Right,
So you hand me that bill salR out of here.
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