April 17, 2024 • 20 mins
Bleach Bros Podcast had a thriving podcast hosted by two buddies, B-Word and Jake the Hater. While the podcast folded in late 2023, they are still amazing friends.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:25):
H hey, so oh Jesus Christ, So what is that smell? Oh
my god, it's so bad.You need to get that check. Dude,
what do you check? I willhave somebody like a proctologist to be
(00:47):
your family doctor. No, Idon't want to check your button. I've
seen enough of your butthole. I'veseen enough of your butty. No,
you've You've never seen my butt.I've seen your buttle you have. Yes,
I've seen your bottle at least threetimes. When did you see my
boy? We used to moon eachother when we were kids, Broy,
but I never spread the cheeks.It wasn't like I can't like you're Have
(01:07):
you ever seen your butt? Youhave no cheeks. You you talk about
you talk to your brother like likea frog stood up. It's not like
you have much of a difference.You're all whole and no cheeks. That's
true. That's true because when you'vebeen to Ralsey, your whole. I
don't see your brown eye winking.I know, but I also have a
fat ass. That's true. Youhave to spread the cheeks. I do
have to spread the cheeks. Sowhat's my whole look like? You know
(01:30):
what it looks like? It lookslike it looks like a star is no
longer lit up. It's like it'slike what rusty looks like now as my
brother calls it, the sheriff's rustybadge. Yeah, I could see that.
I could see that. It lookslike a copper penny like. But
the but the ones that the onesthat are turning green now because they've been
in water too long. They've beenin water too long. Yeah, they've
(01:51):
been at the bottom of the wishingwell. So can you give us a
couple of drinks here real quick?When you when you how long do you
do you have taken me? Anddo I have a cell phone or not?
I don't know. Nowadays you alwayshave to have a cell phone.
Do you ever poop without a cellphone? You know, A yeah,
yeah, it's it's it's it's rough. So the poop that I didn't in
(02:12):
uh in Arizona when we all wentdown there, you know, the classic
poop that everybody smelled and that wasa horrible that was just like what that
was like a forty minute poop.That was a forty minute that was Yeah.
And you know what I found outlater is that some bathroom fans they
don't suck the air up and out. They just try to They just like
(02:32):
try to get it to move andthat's all down. Yeah, that's what
I think was happening in that bathroom, was that they were just trying to
blow it out of the bathroom,which is why you guys all inhaled.
My my, my shit. SeeI didn't use that bathroom. I used
the bathroom with the window. Iknow you can see me. Yeah,
I loved that bathroom. That wasone of my favorite bathrooms. See that's
where I thought you were gonna sayyou saw my butthole. I thought you
(02:53):
were watching watching my wife ers.No, I didn't see your I didn't
see your buttthole there. But yeah, dude, what's going on? What's
new with you? Not much?I've been watching. I watched a funny
video today. I don't know ifyou know who Corlock the Destroyer is,
that man who wants to be awoman, but it is like the ugliest
woman ever created. Yeah, thatfucking fat trand whatever the fuck dude,
(03:19):
she ate the Alphabet Club like sheshe's a can of alphabet soup. Dude,
She's like she's a she's a paletteof alphabet soup bro Like, she's
like, they said, he whatkind of tomato soup you want? She
goes meat like why, like you'redude, you know you know what flavor
(03:43):
of wedding cake she's gonna have?Shrek no numb. I can just see
her eating a whole donkey leg fordinner, get right, just at the
table to But did she has toget married for that to happen? Have
you seen the podcast that she wason where she's talking about how she's a
ten? Oh yeah, did yousee? Okay, So the reason this
(04:05):
happened is I saw a video todayof a blind date. Yes, Aaron,
Aaron sent it to you because Aaronsent it to me. Yeah,
yeah, and it was it wasI'm not the kind of ten you're used
to and the guy takes off thebubles like oh fuck no and he just
walks out. Dude, Yeah,that would be me, Like if you
guys set me up with that,If I was single and that happened,
that would be how I was.I would go off like that. I
(04:26):
have no shame. That's like goodfor him, good for him, because
dude, hell no, hell no, hell no, what kind of ten
are you? Like? The onlyten I thought of was me and you
as a ten? Like that wasit? Did you us one in zero?
Did you see the video where Gurlockwas talking about how she hasn't cut
her dick off yet? No,So, so she was she was talking
(04:48):
to two podcasters and they were interviewingher and and they said, so,
have you gotten the sex change yet? And she's like no, and they're
like why and and they're like what. She's like, I don't know.
I just haven't done it yet.And so she's like, so you're plumbing
is still male? And she's likeyeah, and they go so, like
(05:13):
does it work? And she goes, I guess so yeah, And he
goes, what about at seven o'clockin the morning, does this still work?
She's like, yeah, yeah,does meaning that this girlock dude has
has a fucking, you know,horse cock at at seven Dude. That's
that's so much estrogen pills, dude. That thing's like a microbeam now,
(05:34):
dude, that's like it looks likea Mexican jumper. Do you lose length
and girth when you take estrogen?Yeah? I know that, like steroids
make you lose your nutsack, butlike, do you like legitimately lose length
when you're taking pill. You haveto yes, why, Like, here's
the thing, dude, fat peoplethey have loose skin. Why can't you
(05:56):
just have loose stick? Dude?Could have you ever seen loose dick?
No, because I have, Ihaven't gotten there yet. Dude, I
still use the dicky. You're nevergonna have a loose stick. You're never
gonna have a loose stick. You'renever gonna take estrogen. Maybe maybe if
you drink a lot of soy somethingwill have it. But dude, you've
got to get a tiny pick likethat's there's there's no way that you're not
getting tiny, tiny, tiny tinydown here, all right, tiny girlock.
(06:18):
So I sent something to the uhso so for for everybody listening to
this, the gay bleached dad pubesare chat message chat yeah. And it
was a big old, fat blackwoman and it said a billion dollars you're
going down on earth? Oh hell? And you were instantly like absolutely,
So here's here's here's the bill,billion dollars. Are you sucking girlock that
(06:43):
destroyers flabby fucking little dick a littlepeanut or what is it seven in the
morning? Maybe? Yes, Imean yes, yeah, yeah, dude,
that's a that's a toothpick. Ican do that toothpick. I could
(07:04):
do with that. I don't knowthat it's a toothpick, dude, I
would venture to guess it's more ofa tunic can. As I'm doing,
I'm gonna look up and go,I'm not the ten you're used to.
What would you rate my blow jobs? And it's just looking down? That's
a tar. That's a I feellike like during sex, girlock's gotta be
like a fat person, like havinga heart attacker eating fried chicken. Like
(07:27):
that's the noises and the look andall that, right, I like,
just candidly, bro, I don'tknow that I want to know, Like
I realize there's something, but areyou doing it for a billion dollars?
Yes? But I don't want toknow. Yes, but I don't want
to know. I don't want toknow about it now. I'm not turning
down a billion dollars, bro,Like, are you kidding me? Like,
there's a lot of things that Iwould do for Let's ask this,
(07:49):
what's the lowest amount? Like that? I hate these questions. I hate
wheople like would you do it fora bit? Yes, everybody's gonna do
it for a million dollars? LikeI wanted, like, how you know
a person is the lowest amount ofwhat's funny, lowest dollar amount that you're
doing this. That's so funny youbring that up because I saw this video
not that long ago, and itwas this guy on the street interviewing couples
(08:11):
and he goes up to this husbandand wife or boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever
they are, and he says,hey, so, you know, would
you ever cheat on your girlfriend orwould you ever cheat on hers what he
said? And he says no,and he said what about for a million
dollars? He says no, andhe looks over at the wife or the
girlfriend and he says, this guy'slike totally into you. You see that
right? And she goes, ohabsolutely, And he's like, so would
(08:33):
you ever cheat on him? Andshe goes like I don't think so.
And he says you don't think so? So would you do it for a
million dollars? And she's like hmhm, and so she doesn't answer,
and he says, okay, well, what's like the lowest you would go
to cheat on him? And she'slike, I don't know, like ten
grand And I was like my guy, dude, my guy's sitting over there
(08:54):
and he's just being all faithful andshit, and she's like, oh,
ten grand, like a heard ofthe cost of a modern car. I
would I would totally like touch somebodyelse, like are you what are you
kidding me? Like no? Soso back to the original question. What
are we talking about though? Arewe talking about blowjobs? Just just yeah,
(09:16):
just you're giving girlock the gurgle gurgle. A million? A million is
gonna be bottom line, that's thelowest. That's stupid. That's a stupid
answer. Okay, soupid well,right now, tax free, tax free,
one hundred thousand dollars slapped on thebar. Yeah, I'm walking.
I'm not going gay for one hundredgrand. No, it's not going gay.
(09:37):
You're just sucking girlock. I'm notone hundred grand. I'm not doing
it. It would have to beclose to a million, so like maybe
eight fifty. Okay, I feelterrible, but yeah, no, not
not doing that. And it wouldhave to be tax free. Mm hmm.
What's the lowest you would go?Eighty seven one thousand, six hundred
(10:01):
and seventy two dollars to the fuckingtea Oh my god, why why that
low? That's enough to pay offstudent loans in my car? Fair enough?
Girlock made me dead free? Soso would you also put a sticker
(10:26):
on the back of your jeep thatsays I suck girlock off for this?
Hell yeah? Oh dude, afterthat, I am so well. I'm
waiting until the the what's the graceperiod you get where you can get away
with it tax free? Is itseven years tax free? I don't know.
So I'm putting it on there.Biden aate catching me. I'm putting
it on there. I'm proud ofthat moment. I'm proud of that moment,
dude. I'm opening only fans withjust that video for all the girly
(10:50):
girl the girl fans out there.Yeah, glocks, but I'm gonna call
it the girlock down. So sowhen she spumps in the back of your
throat, is that gonna be gervid, It's gonna be all I'm gonna look
like a turkey tabbing a fucking applecta seizure. I'm gonna just be choking
(11:15):
and running. I was at awedding one time and we're talking about foods
and make your pea taste different.So we're talking about girlocks come, so
we're talking about like like pineapple juiceand all this sort of stuff, right,
And as we're going around the table, a buddy of mine's wife says,
oh, poor guy, all Ieat is a sparagus, and I'm
(11:37):
just like, oh, because asparagus pea is nasty, right, Like
it's just broccoli pea broccoli peas rightdown the same or onions garlics all right,
now, I like onions, youliked you liked onion, You like
onion pea. I don't know.I don't taste pea three drinking pea.
(11:58):
But I'm a girlocks spunker. I'ma girlock smoker, not a not an
onion peer. Olgers are like,oh wait, oulgars are like onions.
Girl, You're gonna have to liftsome different roles to find Girlock's little little
fun olgars haves. It's like howcertain people just look like they smell right,
(12:18):
like I've said, Emma Watson,looks like their mouths like cat pe
yeah, like girlock they like.I just think of like the mat at
like the pool to use that thatit raised dance on, and it's just
musty gross and smells like bad catlitter. Oh oh oh, I went
(12:45):
too low. I went too low. B word, I went too low.
Hey, sal, can you getus another couple drinks a million dollars?
Now that taste out of our Jake'smouth here real, qock, that
dude, she's gotta taste like awet mouth. Do you think her house
is like a hoarder? No?No, I think her apartments the epitome
(13:09):
of opposite of her, you know, like those people like they're disheveled but
their place looks great, or viceversa. You know what I mean.
I don't think I don't think it'sthat bad. Actually, I think the
house is clean. It's just theinterior of interior. See, I feel
like you walk in and you instantlyget the smell of gold. Oh no,
(13:31):
see that's their coach. That's notthe house, that's the that's the
girly girlock. So what's your thoughton the whole vay them thing. I
don't know. I don't think aboutI don't really have a preference on the
day them, Like if somebody wantsto be called day them or whatever,
Like I'm all about doing it.But somebody was talking to me about it
a little while ago, and becauseI said, and I'm honest, dude,
(13:52):
because I'm so used to calling menmen and boys and whatever and he's
and hymns and and then with womenyou know her and and all that sort
of shit that somebody has, somebodythat I know who I work with,
has a partner and their partner goesby they them pronouns, and so I
(14:13):
was just like I was up front. I was like, hey, as
you're telling me these stories, like, I'm just going to tell you upfront,
like I am not used to thewhole day them thing. I know
that you and your area you're usedto the whole day thems. But I
said, you know, there's agood chance that I'll probably mess it up
at some point. For that,I apologize and she was like, oh,
no, that's totally fine, shesays. But the one the way
(14:33):
that I think about it is like, if you're going to tell a story
about about somebody but you don't knowanything about them, You're just going to
say, oh, you know theyare over there, or yeah it's them,
or whatever you like, you don'tknow anything about them. And I
was like, oh, that's agood way to look at it, But
then it got me thinking, like, if you were to choose your own
pronouns, assuming that you choose yourown pronouns, what pronouns are you choosing?
(15:01):
Bro? Bro bro bruh. Okay, yeah, Like I don't care.
Here's here, here's I guess mystance. I don't care if that's
what you want to be called.I just don't like it when it's overly
corrected. Yeah, no, Iagree with that. Like if we're having
like a casual conversation, right,and I was just like, hey,
bro, how you doing all that? And if you just like kept stopping
me, going hey, excuse me, excuse me, I'm a unicorn pixie.
(15:24):
Yeah, and you and you didit over I'd be like, you
know at that point, now I'mjust like a toddler. I'm like,
fuck you, I'm not doing it. Like that's what I guess my stance
is. Like maybe I'm an assholefor that, but it's like I don't
I don't like okay, like ina conversation, unless somebody calls me the
wrong name, I never really correctthem. Like it's like you're just gonna
have a conversation with me. Ifsomebody calls me chief or whatever. I'm
never like oh, you know,like like I don't know. I just
(15:46):
don't feel that way, right,Like I don't care, especially if somebody
I don't know, like now meand you as best friends, right if
you called me Jason for my wholelife, I'd probably be like what the
fuck? But right and again I'dbe like, oh, it's just a
cute anecdote. I guess I don'tknow, but that that's where I draw
the line, is like I guessif it's just you keep correcting, right.
I like the bro bro because Iwas thinking bro dude, like I
(16:08):
think, does work for me.But what names do you get called?
Like you're making a phone call,whether it be a sales call or somebody's
calling you and they're not calling youJake? What's the what are the names
that they typically call you? Hater? Umm no? But like when they
mess up your name, J Jason, Ja, Jason, the biggest One,
(16:30):
Jason Lott, and J Because Imumble so people when I introduce myself,
people think I say J instead ofJake's I get J a lot so
without without you making the solid Ksound in the back, you though that
you know, do you really thinkthat you can satisfy or a lot of
destroyer with your throat. Yeah,I told you, I think that it's
(16:52):
not it's a toothpick. I canjust floss my teeth. I'm gonna be
like uh d g O dub andjust through the thighs. Oh, hey,
there you go, There you go. I get I get called Brandon
a lot on the phone, guys, Brian Brandon. I also get called
Ryan or Brad. Those are prettythe pretty common ones. But probably the
one that like threw me off thatI don't know how they came up with
(17:15):
it was Frank. Some dude wouldswore by my name was Frank for a
long time and he would just continueto call me Frank. And I'm like,
I don't even I don't know howyou get Frank from my name,
But that's that's cool. I guess. Well, that's like a shut your
aerin yap. Yeah. My sisterintroduced him to me as Yoshi, and
so for like the first two monthsI called him Yoshi, and finally he
(17:37):
got mad. He watched me andgoes, who the fuck is Yoshi?
You? No? I was like, oh, who are you Aaron?
I go, I don't know.I got messed up then against my sister,
but you know, and Aaron's justwhatever. But yeah, I used
to call him Yoshi for a longtime. That's funny. Yeah, I
I've never really had like instances wherepeople like mess things up so bad lines
(18:00):
that I'm like offended by it.But it's it's one of those things that
it just happens, dude. It'sjust one of those things in society where
I think that people hear certain thingsand whatever. But if Girlock the Destroyer
came over to to one of ourhomes, like what do you What are
you doing? Like what's your reaction? First and foremost, like legitimate reaction,
(18:21):
like are you pulling a gun?Like are you saying get the fuck
off my lawn? Like what areyou doing ordering a pizza? Would you
interview Gurlock? Oh yeah, I'mfeeding it. I'm feeding it right away.
Keep pizzas fucking spaceballs, dude.Everybody's got their own thing, Like
Robert Bear, I'm putting on aporno. You I'm putting on football.
(18:45):
Girlock feeding a pizza. Like everybody'sgot their things, don't I'm ordering edibles
like you know what I mean?Like people got things like all right,
Girlock comes over and Robert the Bearis over and they wrestle. Who wins
Girlock? Really? I think,yeah, well, unless Girlock decides that
Girlock wants some Robert the Bear dickand it's at seven am and it's Girlock
(19:06):
Gussie, I think. I thinkRobert the Bear takes Girlock. I think
the bear's crafty and sneaks around.I don't want to even think about that,
to be honest with Oh, Iwant you to do that. That's
why because I have hoped by youoriginally, Andry I thought you were gonna
say, is I don't win.That's the only thing that matters. I
lose, lose, I lose watchingthis. I lose. I want that.
I want that. I want tosee I want to see that baby
(19:29):
oil and all like little floaties,like littlepool, Like I could see us
being announcers for that, Like you'relike totally Jerry the King Lawler. I
would totally announce it one hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like,
I don't know if you said it, but I'm guerrilla mo on soon one
hundred percent. I'm just like,oh see, I'm Jerry the King Lawler.
Yeah, perfect, perfect, perfect, Yeah, that's that's awesome.
(19:51):
That's awesome. Well, sal let'slet's go ahead and take care of these
beverages here. Jake, enjoy youreighty six thousand whatever and change your blowjob
with grlock and uh we'll catch younext time.
H hey, so oh Jesus Christ, So what is that smell? Oh
my god, it's so bad.You need to get that check. Dude,
what do you check? I willhave somebody like a proctologist to be
(00:47):
your family doctor. No, Idon't want to check your button. I've
seen enough of your butthole. I'veseen enough of your butty. No,
you've You've never seen my butt.I've seen your buttle you have. Yes,
I've seen your bottle at least threetimes. When did you see my
boy? We used to moon eachother when we were kids, Broy,
but I never spread the cheeks.It wasn't like I can't like you're Have
(01:07):
you ever seen your butt? Youhave no cheeks. You you talk about
you talk to your brother like likea frog stood up. It's not like
you have much of a difference.You're all whole and no cheeks. That's
true. That's true because when you'vebeen to Ralsey, your whole. I
don't see your brown eye winking.I know, but I also have a
fat ass. That's true. Youhave to spread the cheeks. I do
have to spread the cheeks. Sowhat's my whole look like? You know
(01:30):
what it looks like? It lookslike it looks like a star is no
longer lit up. It's like it'slike what rusty looks like now as my
brother calls it, the sheriff's rustybadge. Yeah, I could see that.
I could see that. It lookslike a copper penny like. But
the but the ones that the onesthat are turning green now because they've been
in water too long. They've beenin water too long. Yeah, they've
(01:51):
been at the bottom of the wishingwell. So can you give us a
couple of drinks here real quick?When you when you how long do you
do you have taken me? Anddo I have a cell phone or not?
I don't know. Nowadays you alwayshave to have a cell phone.
Do you ever poop without a cellphone? You know, A yeah,
yeah, it's it's it's it's rough. So the poop that I didn't in
(02:12):
uh in Arizona when we all wentdown there, you know, the classic
poop that everybody smelled and that wasa horrible that was just like what that
was like a forty minute poop.That was a forty minute that was Yeah.
And you know what I found outlater is that some bathroom fans they
don't suck the air up and out. They just try to They just like
(02:32):
try to get it to move andthat's all down. Yeah, that's what
I think was happening in that bathroom, was that they were just trying to
blow it out of the bathroom,which is why you guys all inhaled.
My my, my shit. SeeI didn't use that bathroom. I used
the bathroom with the window. Iknow you can see me. Yeah,
I loved that bathroom. That wasone of my favorite bathrooms. See that's
where I thought you were gonna sayyou saw my butthole. I thought you
(02:53):
were watching watching my wife ers.No, I didn't see your I didn't
see your buttthole there. But yeah, dude, what's going on? What's
new with you? Not much?I've been watching. I watched a funny
video today. I don't know ifyou know who Corlock the Destroyer is,
that man who wants to be awoman, but it is like the ugliest
woman ever created. Yeah, thatfucking fat trand whatever the fuck dude,
(03:19):
she ate the Alphabet Club like sheshe's a can of alphabet soup. Dude,
She's like she's a she's a paletteof alphabet soup bro Like, she's
like, they said, he whatkind of tomato soup you want? She
goes meat like why, like you'redude, you know you know what flavor
(03:43):
of wedding cake she's gonna have?Shrek no numb. I can just see
her eating a whole donkey leg fordinner, get right, just at the
table to But did she has toget married for that to happen? Have
you seen the podcast that she wason where she's talking about how she's a
ten? Oh yeah, did yousee? Okay, So the reason this
(04:05):
happened is I saw a video todayof a blind date. Yes, Aaron,
Aaron sent it to you because Aaronsent it to me. Yeah,
yeah, and it was it wasI'm not the kind of ten you're used
to and the guy takes off thebubles like oh fuck no and he just
walks out. Dude, Yeah,that would be me, Like if you
guys set me up with that,If I was single and that happened,
that would be how I was.I would go off like that. I
(04:26):
have no shame. That's like goodfor him, good for him, because
dude, hell no, hell no, hell no, what kind of ten
are you? Like? The onlyten I thought of was me and you
as a ten? Like that wasit? Did you us one in zero?
Did you see the video where Gurlockwas talking about how she hasn't cut
her dick off yet? No,So, so she was she was talking
(04:48):
to two podcasters and they were interviewingher and and they said, so,
have you gotten the sex change yet? And she's like no, and they're
like why and and they're like what. She's like, I don't know.
I just haven't done it yet.And so she's like, so you're plumbing
is still male? And she's likeyeah, and they go so, like
(05:13):
does it work? And she goes, I guess so yeah, And he
goes, what about at seven o'clockin the morning, does this still work?
She's like, yeah, yeah,does meaning that this girlock dude has
has a fucking, you know,horse cock at at seven Dude. That's
that's so much estrogen pills, dude. That thing's like a microbeam now,
(05:34):
dude, that's like it looks likea Mexican jumper. Do you lose length
and girth when you take estrogen?Yeah? I know that, like steroids
make you lose your nutsack, butlike, do you like legitimately lose length
when you're taking pill. You haveto yes, why, Like, here's
the thing, dude, fat peoplethey have loose skin. Why can't you
(05:56):
just have loose stick? Dude?Could have you ever seen loose dick?
No, because I have, Ihaven't gotten there yet. Dude, I
still use the dicky. You're nevergonna have a loose stick. You're never
gonna have a loose stick. You'renever gonna take estrogen. Maybe maybe if
you drink a lot of soy somethingwill have it. But dude, you've
got to get a tiny pick likethat's there's there's no way that you're not
getting tiny, tiny, tiny tinydown here, all right, tiny girlock.
(06:18):
So I sent something to the uhso so for for everybody listening to
this, the gay bleached dad pubesare chat message chat yeah. And it
was a big old, fat blackwoman and it said a billion dollars you're
going down on earth? Oh hell? And you were instantly like absolutely,
So here's here's here's the bill,billion dollars. Are you sucking girlock that
(06:43):
destroyers flabby fucking little dick a littlepeanut or what is it seven in the
morning? Maybe? Yes, Imean yes, yeah, yeah, dude,
that's a that's a toothpick. Ican do that toothpick. I could
(07:04):
do with that. I don't knowthat it's a toothpick, dude, I
would venture to guess it's more ofa tunic can. As I'm doing,
I'm gonna look up and go,I'm not the ten you're used to.
What would you rate my blow jobs? And it's just looking down? That's
a tar. That's a I feellike like during sex, girlock's gotta be
like a fat person, like havinga heart attacker eating fried chicken. Like
(07:27):
that's the noises and the look andall that, right, I like,
just candidly, bro, I don'tknow that I want to know, Like
I realize there's something, but areyou doing it for a billion dollars?
Yes? But I don't want toknow. Yes, but I don't want
to know. I don't want toknow about it now. I'm not turning
down a billion dollars, bro,Like, are you kidding me? Like,
there's a lot of things that Iwould do for Let's ask this,
(07:49):
what's the lowest amount? Like that? I hate these questions. I hate
wheople like would you do it fora bit? Yes, everybody's gonna do
it for a million dollars? LikeI wanted, like, how you know
a person is the lowest amount ofwhat's funny, lowest dollar amount that you're
doing this. That's so funny youbring that up because I saw this video
not that long ago, and itwas this guy on the street interviewing couples
(08:11):
and he goes up to this husbandand wife or boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever
they are, and he says,hey, so, you know, would
you ever cheat on your girlfriend orwould you ever cheat on hers what he
said? And he says no,and he said what about for a million
dollars? He says no, andhe looks over at the wife or the
girlfriend and he says, this guy'slike totally into you. You see that
right? And she goes, ohabsolutely, And he's like, so would
(08:33):
you ever cheat on him? Andshe goes like I don't think so.
And he says you don't think so? So would you do it for a
million dollars? And she's like hmhm, and so she doesn't answer,
and he says, okay, well, what's like the lowest you would go
to cheat on him? And she'slike, I don't know, like ten
grand And I was like my guy, dude, my guy's sitting over there
(08:54):
and he's just being all faithful andshit, and she's like, oh,
ten grand, like a heard ofthe cost of a modern car. I
would I would totally like touch somebodyelse, like are you what are you
kidding me? Like no? Soso back to the original question. What
are we talking about though? Arewe talking about blowjobs? Just just yeah,
(09:16):
just you're giving girlock the gurgle gurgle. A million? A million is
gonna be bottom line, that's thelowest. That's stupid. That's a stupid
answer. Okay, soupid well,right now, tax free, tax free,
one hundred thousand dollars slapped on thebar. Yeah, I'm walking.
I'm not going gay for one hundredgrand. No, it's not going gay.
(09:37):
You're just sucking girlock. I'm notone hundred grand. I'm not doing
it. It would have to beclose to a million, so like maybe
eight fifty. Okay, I feelterrible, but yeah, no, not
not doing that. And it wouldhave to be tax free. Mm hmm.
What's the lowest you would go?Eighty seven one thousand, six hundred
(10:01):
and seventy two dollars to the fuckingtea Oh my god, why why that
low? That's enough to pay offstudent loans in my car? Fair enough?
Girlock made me dead free? Soso would you also put a sticker
(10:26):
on the back of your jeep thatsays I suck girlock off for this?
Hell yeah? Oh dude, afterthat, I am so well. I'm
waiting until the the what's the graceperiod you get where you can get away
with it tax free? Is itseven years tax free? I don't know.
So I'm putting it on there.Biden aate catching me. I'm putting
it on there. I'm proud ofthat moment. I'm proud of that moment,
dude. I'm opening only fans withjust that video for all the girly
(10:50):
girl the girl fans out there.Yeah, glocks, but I'm gonna call
it the girlock down. So sowhen she spumps in the back of your
throat, is that gonna be gervid, It's gonna be all I'm gonna look
like a turkey tabbing a fucking applecta seizure. I'm gonna just be choking
(11:15):
and running. I was at awedding one time and we're talking about foods
and make your pea taste different.So we're talking about girlocks come, so
we're talking about like like pineapple juiceand all this sort of stuff, right,
And as we're going around the table, a buddy of mine's wife says,
oh, poor guy, all Ieat is a sparagus, and I'm
(11:37):
just like, oh, because asparagus pea is nasty, right, Like
it's just broccoli pea broccoli peas rightdown the same or onions garlics all right,
now, I like onions, youliked you liked onion, You like
onion pea. I don't know.I don't taste pea three drinking pea.
(11:58):
But I'm a girlocks spunker. I'ma girlock smoker, not a not an
onion peer. Olgers are like,oh wait, oulgars are like onions.
Girl, You're gonna have to liftsome different roles to find Girlock's little little
fun olgars haves. It's like howcertain people just look like they smell right,
(12:18):
like I've said, Emma Watson,looks like their mouths like cat pe
yeah, like girlock they like.I just think of like the mat at
like the pool to use that thatit raised dance on, and it's just
musty gross and smells like bad catlitter. Oh oh oh, I went
(12:45):
too low. I went too low. B word, I went too low.
Hey, sal, can you getus another couple drinks a million dollars?
Now that taste out of our Jake'smouth here real, qock, that
dude, she's gotta taste like awet mouth. Do you think her house
is like a hoarder? No?No, I think her apartments the epitome
(13:09):
of opposite of her, you know, like those people like they're disheveled but
their place looks great, or viceversa. You know what I mean.
I don't think I don't think it'sthat bad. Actually, I think the
house is clean. It's just theinterior of interior. See, I feel
like you walk in and you instantlyget the smell of gold. Oh no,
(13:31):
see that's their coach. That's notthe house, that's the that's the
girly girlock. So what's your thoughton the whole vay them thing. I
don't know. I don't think aboutI don't really have a preference on the
day them, Like if somebody wantsto be called day them or whatever,
Like I'm all about doing it.But somebody was talking to me about it
a little while ago, and becauseI said, and I'm honest, dude,
(13:52):
because I'm so used to calling menmen and boys and whatever and he's
and hymns and and then with womenyou know her and and all that sort
of shit that somebody has, somebodythat I know who I work with,
has a partner and their partner goesby they them pronouns, and so I
(14:13):
was just like I was up front. I was like, hey, as
you're telling me these stories, like, I'm just going to tell you upfront,
like I am not used to thewhole day them thing. I know
that you and your area you're usedto the whole day thems. But I
said, you know, there's agood chance that I'll probably mess it up
at some point. For that,I apologize and she was like, oh,
no, that's totally fine, shesays. But the one the way
(14:33):
that I think about it is like, if you're going to tell a story
about about somebody but you don't knowanything about them, You're just going to
say, oh, you know theyare over there, or yeah it's them,
or whatever you like, you don'tknow anything about them. And I
was like, oh, that's agood way to look at it, But
then it got me thinking, like, if you were to choose your own
pronouns, assuming that you choose yourown pronouns, what pronouns are you choosing?
(15:01):
Bro? Bro bro bruh. Okay, yeah, Like I don't care.
Here's here, here's I guess mystance. I don't care if that's
what you want to be called.I just don't like it when it's overly
corrected. Yeah, no, Iagree with that. Like if we're having
like a casual conversation, right,and I was just like, hey,
bro, how you doing all that? And if you just like kept stopping
me, going hey, excuse me, excuse me, I'm a unicorn pixie.
(15:24):
Yeah, and you and you didit over I'd be like, you
know at that point, now I'mjust like a toddler. I'm like,
fuck you, I'm not doing it. Like that's what I guess my stance
is. Like maybe I'm an assholefor that, but it's like I don't
I don't like okay, like ina conversation, unless somebody calls me the
wrong name, I never really correctthem. Like it's like you're just gonna
have a conversation with me. Ifsomebody calls me chief or whatever. I'm
never like oh, you know,like like I don't know. I just
(15:46):
don't feel that way, right,Like I don't care, especially if somebody
I don't know, like now meand you as best friends, right if
you called me Jason for my wholelife, I'd probably be like what the
fuck? But right and again I'dbe like, oh, it's just a
cute anecdote. I guess I don'tknow, but that that's where I draw
the line, is like I guessif it's just you keep correcting, right.
I like the bro bro because Iwas thinking bro dude, like I
(16:08):
think, does work for me.But what names do you get called?
Like you're making a phone call,whether it be a sales call or somebody's
calling you and they're not calling youJake? What's the what are the names
that they typically call you? Hater? Umm no? But like when they
mess up your name, J Jason, Ja, Jason, the biggest One,
(16:30):
Jason Lott, and J Because Imumble so people when I introduce myself,
people think I say J instead ofJake's I get J a lot so
without without you making the solid Ksound in the back, you though that
you know, do you really thinkthat you can satisfy or a lot of
destroyer with your throat. Yeah,I told you, I think that it's
(16:52):
not it's a toothpick. I canjust floss my teeth. I'm gonna be
like uh d g O dub andjust through the thighs. Oh, hey,
there you go, There you go. I get I get called Brandon
a lot on the phone, guys, Brian Brandon. I also get called
Ryan or Brad. Those are prettythe pretty common ones. But probably the
one that like threw me off thatI don't know how they came up with
(17:15):
it was Frank. Some dude wouldswore by my name was Frank for a
long time and he would just continueto call me Frank. And I'm like,
I don't even I don't know howyou get Frank from my name,
But that's that's cool. I guess. Well, that's like a shut your
aerin yap. Yeah. My sisterintroduced him to me as Yoshi, and
so for like the first two monthsI called him Yoshi, and finally he
(17:37):
got mad. He watched me andgoes, who the fuck is Yoshi?
You? No? I was like, oh, who are you Aaron?
I go, I don't know.I got messed up then against my sister,
but you know, and Aaron's justwhatever. But yeah, I used
to call him Yoshi for a longtime. That's funny. Yeah, I
I've never really had like instances wherepeople like mess things up so bad lines
(18:00):
that I'm like offended by it.But it's it's one of those things that
it just happens, dude. It'sjust one of those things in society where
I think that people hear certain thingsand whatever. But if Girlock the Destroyer
came over to to one of ourhomes, like what do you What are
you doing? Like what's your reaction? First and foremost, like legitimate reaction,
(18:21):
like are you pulling a gun?Like are you saying get the fuck
off my lawn? Like what areyou doing ordering a pizza? Would you
interview Gurlock? Oh yeah, I'mfeeding it. I'm feeding it right away.
Keep pizzas fucking spaceballs, dude.Everybody's got their own thing, Like
Robert Bear, I'm putting on aporno. You I'm putting on football.
(18:45):
Girlock feeding a pizza. Like everybody'sgot their things, don't I'm ordering edibles
like you know what I mean?Like people got things like all right,
Girlock comes over and Robert the Bearis over and they wrestle. Who wins
Girlock? Really? I think,yeah, well, unless Girlock decides that
Girlock wants some Robert the Bear dickand it's at seven am and it's Girlock
(19:06):
Gussie, I think. I thinkRobert the Bear takes Girlock. I think
the bear's crafty and sneaks around.I don't want to even think about that,
to be honest with Oh, Iwant you to do that. That's
why because I have hoped by youoriginally, Andry I thought you were gonna
say, is I don't win.That's the only thing that matters. I
lose, lose, I lose watchingthis. I lose. I want that.
I want that. I want tosee I want to see that baby
(19:29):
oil and all like little floaties,like littlepool, Like I could see us
being announcers for that, Like you'relike totally Jerry the King Lawler. I
would totally announce it one hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like,
I don't know if you said it, but I'm guerrilla mo on soon one
hundred percent. I'm just like,oh see, I'm Jerry the King Lawler.
Yeah, perfect, perfect, perfect, Yeah, that's that's awesome.
(19:51):
That's awesome. Well, sal let'slet's go ahead and take care of these
beverages here. Jake, enjoy youreighty six thousand whatever and change your blowjob
with grlock and uh we'll catch younext time.
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