April 17, 2024 • 25 mins
Bleach Bros Podcast had a thriving podcast hosted by two buddies, B-Word and Jake the Hater. While the podcast folded in late 2023, they are still amazing friends.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
M hey, sal how you doinggood? And I'm just waiting on fucking
(00:32):
Jake the hater to show up.It's his turn to buy. I didn't
realize we were in tatas. Thefuck is going on? We've got the
two guys in a dart here withus. What's going on? Mitch?
What's going on? But look,you brought friends. You can't put up
with me alone anymore? Wait togo? What's up? I tried to
Why Why are you saying the barmove? The bar is in the same
spot. You can't say it's It'sa metaphorical fucking bar. The far could
(00:54):
do wherever I tell you, whateverI want it to be. Don't do
that to the listeners stopping? Ohmy god, we record remotely. Where
do you think this fucking bar is? I don't know, I am.
I already had it all planned out, like I drew out a little map.
I've drawn a picture of it.Can we can we introduce our guests?
Sure? What's going on? Mitch? What's going on about it?
What's up? Yeah? What's happeninga lot in this weird bar or a
(01:17):
bathroom or whatever this is. Youguys got Shirley Temples. Yeah, we
got Chirley Temples's zuck, can yougive a Shirley Temple and a what do
you want mentioned virgin Shirley Temple anda virgin Chirley Temple? Please? So
that's a that's a sprite, thankyou. So I didn't know that little
little Grenadine, please, little Grenadine. I like, I like Temple,
(01:38):
would like a Roy Rogers. Hedidn't. You don't like a Roy Rogers.
I like Roy Rogers. I guessI mean I'd much rather have.
Of course I would, of courseyou would. I think I think that
so many things on our show,as usually if I say something, of
course you would, Yeah, becauseof course, because there's a lot of
things that are said on the showthat are fucked up, And I'm just
like, yeah, that's Jake,Yeah, way to go. So so
(02:00):
Soud, these are the two guysin a dart podcast, and we haven't
had a chance to actually work withthem on an actual episode, so we
decided that we would bring them toyour bar. Yeah. So, speaking
which guys, if you had tomake your penis into an animal, what
animal is it gonna be called?Giraffe? What this guy's always he wants
a really long skinny one like alike a number two pencil with dots.
(02:24):
Dude, they're not. It's notgonna be girthy. That's just gonna be
You're gonna look like fucking toys rus down there, Bobby, don't want
to grow up with a pencil,Dick. I'm just trying to get somebody
to play with it. Wait,so, if you're trying to get somebody
(02:45):
to play with it and you havea draft, Dick, do you put
the bow tie like under the chinor do you put the bow tie right
above the shoulders, right near thefriendulum it's under the chin, the friend
on the very bottom of the theshoulders, so you could play with the
rest near the balls. You wantyou where you want the tongue to go.
(03:06):
Hang on, hang on. Iremember a story about a bow tie
around your shoulders and you almost diedor something. And yeah, you probably
don't want to revisit that. Youcouldn't. You couldn't figure out how to
work it. You could. Thisdude couldn't figure out, for length of
them how to get the ring aroundhis balls. Oh yeah, my cock
(03:27):
ring. Yeah, Oh, theconrade didn't fit. That's not the problem.
You're talking about it. Were youputting it over the balls instead of
over the I've never been able tofigure out. I haven't done it since
(03:47):
I tried it one time and gaveup. It's a ring. It has
a name of what it goes on. It's pretty simple. It's cocked.
It was too small. But ifI had to pull over my nuts or
you know, I can do youput your pants? How do you put
your pants on the board. I'mvery interested in this whole lot because that's
(04:09):
like, you know, I couldI couldn't. I didn't know which direction
to go, like I have onedirection. One direction goes down. Yeah,
well I figured out. Mitch actuallysent me a direction a little book.
But I'll figure out. For that. You got to help your friends.
I thought you had to put itall the way over the shaft.
So I start and I really hopeit's pulled all the way over and I
can get all the way around mynuts. It was a horrible situation.
(04:31):
I hope this is one of thosescenes like when b Weerd thought he killed
that girl's cat and he's calling mefrom the bathroom, like check, I
think I smashed the cat, likeBobby's like, bitch, I'm in the
bathroom and it's just stuck on mywalls. I need you to google right
now. Any baby oil around you, baby powder probably He's like, he's
like a pancake paste down there.So, Mitch, what animal is your
(04:58):
piece? I'm going with a peacock. Previous reasons, Oh okay, yeah,
female? Right, yeah, man, I like to show it off.
You know, you just want thebrown cos I want the I want
the full fan feather situation, goingon a full fan. Yeah, so
the male. The male is actuallycolorful. The female is not colorful at
all. Fine either. One.If if I had if I had the
(05:19):
peacock down there, I would takethat scene. Remember the movie with the
Howard Stern private parts and he's talkingabout pig vomit trying to say, you
would be I think the word whatanimal? Oh, I don't fucking know.
(05:42):
You know, you know it's afake animal. But here's but here's
here's what I want. I wantedto be the billy, the billy,
the singing bass, you know whatI mean. It's like that thing that's
all so that way, yeah,so that way. All of a sudden,
dude, when it gets a fuckinghang, when it gets a fucking
hard on. Like it turns tothe left real quick and it's like hello
there, I love you, andit just continues to go down that road.
(06:02):
Dude, I'm all about that fuckinglife. Oh it makes me want
to change my answer. Oh man, that's a good one. So if
there was a sound jake when yougot a hard on? Well, can
I tell you what animal my wieneris? Now? Oh? Yeah,
pause, we can? We can. I didn't get to I didn't realize
that the moderator of the fucking gamewanted to play. But go ahead,
(06:24):
Well I wanted to play. Ilove Who doesn't like to play with their
wiener? Shut up? That's astupid, stupid question. Unless Bobby and
I would now now that it couldbe fake, it would be Earthworm Jim.
But I wanted to be a lemur. I want it to be a
lemur because I want to have thenight vision and creep people out and then
(06:46):
when I'm inside I could maybe seewith the not Would you really want to
see though while you're in the Yes? I do, Yes, I'm a
weirdo. Yes, okay, boys, would you want to see? Like
like if you if you could puta camera on your dick, I'm not
put the nose, not you,not you, the the two guys that
that showed up in this dart that'soutside. Would you guys want to have
(07:08):
a camera on the on the outsideof your penis or the that goes in
the hole so you can explore?Yeah, I'd like to take a look.
I'm all about exploring. See Mitch, uh yeah, that's the laugh
of it. That was confident thaton the ring? Yeah, Well that
(07:30):
camera thing goes along with what oneof your post about best pickup lines,
Bobby, what kind of ring didyou buy for your cock? That not
the doorbell? And Mitch is overthere trying to install it at his house.
You guys want the password to thething? I get? You said
no, no, So on yourpost about the pickup lines, I put
(07:55):
I wish I was an astronaut soI could explore your anus. It would
be a perfect time to use acamera. That's which hole would you rather
explore with the camera? Well,the pinkle ain't going on that brown hole
with the camera. Worried about whatI find in there might make me not
want to go in there again.I might find some corn in there or
something. Bro, who are youhanging out with corn like con you know,
(08:22):
corns, corn is actually going tosolve world hunger. It is too
because you eat it, your renseit, you eat it. I hate
his thing. I hate this theory. It's so gross. You mean to
tell me that they're that one shatof corn completely ruins all the all the
rest of the nutrients that are inthose kernels. No, it ruins it
because it's covered in shit. Bword. I don't care about the neutral
the things that you could be grossedout by, Like that's the thing that
(08:45):
gets you. I didn't There's noway do you want to eat a bowl
full of B word, corn gotrinsed off and stuff. I don't know,
corns corn right, Yeah, Imean if you wash the corn off,
like if you had if you hadsome sort of like liquid sanitizing,
like corn sanitizer, like I'd beall about that. Dude. It's like
PAULI Shore when he's drinking, Yeah, Polly Shore when he's drinking his piss
and from in the army. Nowhe's like, oh look it's cleaning.
(09:09):
Yeah. I guess there's worse things. You're right, Mitch. Al Right,
guys, so we had this,we had this conversation with the Inner
Idiot on our last episode. Butif you're going to have a tattoo anywhere
or in any one of these threeareas, are you going to do it
on your eyelids? Are you gonnado it on your dickhead? Or are
you gonna do it on your asshole? Oh? Do you do? Do
(09:31):
I get to go first? Sure? Yes, I'm doing an asshole the
whole way. Du What are youputting on your asshole? Something? I
don't know, man, Like somethingamazing though, Like you want to do
like a Simpsons donut? Yeah,something some of that effect. It's really
gonna get people. Like, firstof all, people are gonna be like,
there's no way that's real, Likethat's he's making that up. And
(09:52):
then when they see it, they'relike, holy shit, that's pretty awesome.
Bobby. I would get a tattooon the head of my deck,
and what would it be and Bobbyare the same? Yeah, but I
wouldn't have a picture. I wouldget words. I would put I'm here
about the blowjob. I was hopingit was gonna have instructions about it.
Get hard, yeah, get wet, put it hole. Hey, Bobby,
(10:13):
are you circumcised. I am okay, So if you weren't circumcised,
though, I would love it,like if you actually like hit the words
so you had to roll it downkind of like a scroll. Just be
fucking phenomenal. But no, Ido the eyeballs. I already said that
I would get eyeballs tattooed on myeyeballs. The nerd in me thought of
scrolls when you said scrolls like ashape shifting penis. Fuck the MCU.
(10:39):
Dude, that's such a bad fuckingmess. Right now, you can do
the the generic version of the tattooerthat get one hundred dollars bill and that
way your wife can stay home.And dude, I'm sorry, I can.
I don't know if I have enoughdick for that. I might just
have to have to have. Yeah, you're gonna attack me the wrapper on
your penus. No, I wantthe I want the fucking Lincoln half dollar.
(11:03):
No, I want you to havethe rapper. And then when you're
playing with it, you can belike, what up, Curtis, I'll
bring it to the candy show.Every time Beard walks in down sext to
his wife, he goes go showed. All right, So, uh,
(11:24):
Uh, What's what's going on withthe two guys in a dart right now?
What are you guys doing? Whyare you here? Well, we
were looking for a bathroom and thisended up being a weird bathroom this.
I don't know what we're doing rightnow. I really don't know, man.
We've got a lot of ideas inthe works. We've started planning some
(11:46):
travel to kind of see what wecan really go out and look at and
bring back to the show. So, I mean, I think there's some
interesting stuff out there. Bobby's littlebit on these conspiracy theories. We're mere
hours away from Dallas, which isI think the next thing we're gonna do
is much like we did with Waco. We're gonna go up and research the
(12:09):
JFK stuff all, you know,the where it happened and the looks and
the angles and everything else. Reallykind of played with that for a little
while because it's some serious stuff goingon. Had some pretty heavy stuff.
You guys were in uvald you today, which how about that? I will
(12:31):
tell you right now. I'm gonnalet Bobby tell you too, because he
gets a little more, you know, with it, and he has actual
legitimate kids. I saw a.They have several different monuments and there's one
in the center of town and Iwas looking at this one and this it
had the little girl's date of birthand then the day of the thing.
She was like two weeks shy ofher tenth birthday. And when you looked
(12:56):
at that thing, I was like, oh shit, like the weight of
it hitting because you're other than that. You're just kind of looking around like
buildings versus what you saw on thenews, and then you see that and
it's like there's some more weight tothat. So going out and looking at
it is even something else. Yeah, it was heavy. It was heavy,
(13:16):
and you know, how do Isay it? Not trying to suck
the air out of the room withit. But I mean, I'm just
fascinated with with real life crime.I like trying to understand the psychology behind
it. That's kind of alice,but my interest. And I mean sounds
creepy to some people, but themore violent it is, the more you
know. Yeah, I mean Iwould love to go check his house out
(13:37):
all that kind of stuff, ButI just I just like trying to understand
that or looking at it, likewhat kind have prevented it? That kind
of stuff is just how my brainworks. But it sounds morerbid to some
people. That's just what I'm into. This is what it is. But
yeah, after that, man,I'm gonna need a vodka. You gotta
do you get a shot of vodkain there, so so I put it
(14:01):
on my tap. You know,it's my tab. I'm paying, Okay,
we have guests. I'm trying tobe proper, proper because when they
were talking about you finally pay yourbill, yes, And also I was
I was trying to shut up forhim, but my thought is still there.
So when he was saying about youknow how he likes to watch video
and figure out and like, youknow, go places, and I was
(14:22):
thinking of porn street. Honest tokeep a bottle of lotion in your box.
I do the same thing, Bobby. I do the same thing,
Bobby. You can only watch oneporn star for the rest of your life.
Which porn star are you? Areyou choosing? Fuck? You know
what some cliche. I love JennaJamison, but I'm be a roll with
(14:45):
you and be a real real withyou. Sense we're on or we're here
with sal the I'd probably say whatever, fucking porn star is the biggest laby
the won he likes to make.Yeah, dude, I don't know.
I'm just kidding, Like the extrado you like to fuck use the up
and mitt to fucking pull him out? I just I love that ship.
(15:07):
That's just my thing. Suck onlike a like an Asian guy. Put
some soy sauce on those bitches andyou look it off. Who was the
villain in Dick Tracy that fucking atethe oysters? What the fun was his
name? Because that's all that's goingthrough my mind. Just first yeap,
(15:28):
oh my god. I had thisand obviously we'll rename remain nameless, but
had this sex girlfriend and first timewe're gonna have sex, she's like,
I don't want to show you.I have a little bit extra down there.
I was like, what the fuckyou gotta dick and she's like no,
And it was my first experience withit, but it was so fucking
he'd already tried to put on thecock ring. Hey Bobby, Hey Bobby,
(15:48):
have you ever measured against it,like if you had big enough one
where you could like you sat thereand you guys like, you know,
no, never measured against it.But I know I are you gonna do
it, Mitch Pluck, Yeah,tonight, we're gonna do that. What
are you talking about his camera?I'm ready, all right, Mitch.
(16:08):
You can only watch one porn starrest of your life. Who you pick?
It? Paid steal page stage.I like that. That's a great
one. I'm a big fan ofthat. I actually just saw her and
I just started following her. Ithink because of you, bitch on Instagram.
Page gains great made page steel.Hold on, I'm going to the
(16:33):
ech Oh wow, I like apog. Wow, dude, she's got
she's gotta ask for weeks. Ohmy lord, is all right? I'm
picking a dude. And there's multiplereasons. I just somehow new because because
I want variety, and he'll alwaysbe paging a different chick, and so
(16:55):
I actually get to see the multiplegirls. And it's it's the loophole,
it's the it's the lawyer. Now, mind you, I have to see
you withins. I'm going with PeterNorth. Oh okay, he's a weird
looking dude, So I don't careabout him. I care about the variety
he's been with. I'm looking atthe variety pack. I'm like that weird
smoker that bought the Marble like packwhere there's like different brands in the same
(17:19):
box. Like I'm that guy theword Well, I gotta look him up.
Hold on, now he's no nowhis patron or Peter North. He
could go either way for the dude, I don't remember who the Owen Gray.
So you inspired me, Jake,I'm a I'm also gonna pick a
dude Owen Gray, so Owen Grays. But wait, but I'm not in
(17:45):
it for him, Jake, remember, So that being the case, He's
got this tattoo on his body whereletters start coming out of this really dark
tattoo. It's really weird. Buthe's like all the women that he's with,
we got cream highs, We've gotfucking you know, reverse cowgirl,
we got the whole works like hehe he lines them up. Or what's
(18:06):
the best position? Yeah, that'sa good question. What's the best position?
Mitch? Dude, I gotta behonest with you. It depends on
the mood. I don't think thereis not for you, like like what
you're watching like now, I'm sorry, so because there's a difference, like
yourself, there's things at work,but there's angles you want to see.
Yeah, right, I don't know, man, I guess it also depends
(18:29):
on the mood, like am Iwatching Owen Gray or am I watching paid
Steel? I don't know. Lowcamera missionary, man, I guess that's
okay. So right front, rightin there, man, you want to
see right in front? I wantto sell like the dick camera. We
were talking just external Bobby. Sothey should be getting fucked for the angle
(18:52):
because I like watching the song.I like solo masturbation for the front because
I try to go for the squirtersspreading. Yeah, like the but if
we're looking at from the back angle, which I probably prefer, I like
watching them gave themselves. Yeah,the wink, I like a little winky
wow, not like the not captainwinky. Like I have to say that.
(19:15):
I hope they can drive a carand the ship to ship. I'm
learning new things about Bobby and somy Amazon style Amazon style is fucking have
you guys seen Amazon's amazing? Whatis Amazon? Look it up, Robert,
(19:37):
look it up right that ship rightnow? Amazon? Like for for
you and I, Bobby, it'sgonna be kind of hard, like let's
be let's let's go to Amazon accountsthere. But I'm telling you, if
if you want to look at ifyou want to look at a position of
fucking that like, it is interestingand I will probably never have a chance
to do it. I want towatch it Amazon Styles, legit. I
(20:02):
really thought I was the only onethat came across the you know, my
four U page there and I waslike, I'm about that one. I've
done it. It's fun. I'vealso been picked up. I told you
I have that weird, that weirdthing with muscle girls. No wait,
(20:23):
wait, like you would fuck likethe times right, like bodybuilders, Well
like they were trying to be that'sa Bobby thing too. You two are
like the same fucking dude, Iknow, except you're the one in his
arrowd. We're the opposite of thetens. We're a parallel universe right now,
guys looking across the table. Butyeah, I've been picked up.
It's fun. Yeah, I've beenpicked up. I had this fucking chick
fucking I was, oh my god, I went to this girl's house,
(20:45):
right, You've been picked up.Oh my god. So I go to
she is a bodybuilder. I'm justlike and that I was floating on the
cash and she's like, oh,let's go fucking. I'm like all right,
So I get up and go infront of her. Apparently I was
walking too slower water. I don'twant too slow, because she fucking picks
me up from behind and carries meto the bed and then fucking throws it
on me and throws me on thebed and then fucks me. It's crazy
(21:07):
in the ass. Yeah, andthat's how I learned. I like.
And right after that, she's like, thanks for the cock crew. I
uh know, it's fun, It'sit's different. I don't know, see
I see now I want to gowith Bobby's is like the deep throat like
angle is always cool. The girlon top's always good, always good,
(21:33):
booty shaking, all that. Yeah, facing me though, I need them
facing me. I know for videosit's the reverse cover because it's like it's
the angle that shows you like,oh, this is what they would look
like. Do you ever yell anythingout during sex? Yeah? Like,
what's the weirdest thing, the weirdestthing that you've yelled out during sex?
Me? Or do you want togo with somebody else first? I imagine
(21:56):
that that these boys might need tomight need to give it a think one
time she burned in my Mouma saidit's like hot dogs. Another time another
time says, I'm in the pukeout of all my holes because I slapped
myself in the ball to by accident. I tried to smack her ass really
(22:19):
hard when she was on top,and I missed and hit my balls.
You played yourself, that's great.I almost knocked myself out. Dude,
it was so bad. And thenI'm on the ground. She goes,
you're a little bitch. I wouldI know, I know that's also the
candy corn girl. Oh mat youever yell anything out mad? Like crazy?
(22:44):
We need room service? Like wereyou finishing right now? I was
like fucking extra, like I wascoming like I was the hole coming back
down to the other guy, andI was like, fuck, we're gonna
need food. So I was like, we need room service. I have
in my in my drinking days,I did have one moment where I had
to ask what hole I was?Actually? Another time, did you yell
(23:04):
it at it? You know?I was was tough. I don't even
know what a hold of it right, And the other one was I think
she squirted, But I asked,is that you were you weren't sure if
you squirted or what. I don'tknow. I didn't know what happened.
(23:25):
All right, Bobby a tie,So I gotta say both of them right.
So, uh, when I wasfucking that deaf check, I was
trying to tell her that she neededwe could you know, let's fucking turn
over or something. But then Irealized I was like, oh, you
can't hear me. Wouldn't have matteredwhat you And then the other one was
(23:49):
if you don't take your finger out, I'm gonna ship. Yeah, that
was the death chick as well.She just kept pushing I could we nip
asshole and your whips that you wakeit? Oh? Fuck? Oh that
(24:15):
was fun? Yeah that yeah.Mine was just like called her daddy for
me and you're over there. Yes, thank you daddy, because because I
was dude, I was smacking.We're smacking guts, dude, and she's
like, do you like it?Do you like it? Do you like
it? Daddy? And I'm likeyes, daddy, And then I realized,
(24:37):
oh, fucking ship, that's enough. I'm not doing that anymore.
But I love when we're together.We always learned new things. I know,
definite things. Hey, thanks forthanks for driving that dart over to
Sal's tab or boys, thank youfor having me. Yeah, yeah,
that was a weird bathroom. WellSal, Jake's got this, got this
tab. You already heard it.So Jake, I'll catch your next fucking
(25:00):
month. Boys, good luck inyour travels, and about five guys sh
M hey, sal how you doinggood? And I'm just waiting on fucking
(00:32):
Jake the hater to show up.It's his turn to buy. I didn't
realize we were in tatas. Thefuck is going on? We've got the
two guys in a dart here withus. What's going on? Mitch?
What's going on? But look,you brought friends. You can't put up
with me alone anymore? Wait togo? What's up? I tried to
Why Why are you saying the barmove? The bar is in the same
spot. You can't say it's It'sa metaphorical fucking bar. The far could
(00:54):
do wherever I tell you, whateverI want it to be. Don't do
that to the listeners stopping? Ohmy god, we record remotely. Where
do you think this fucking bar is? I don't know, I am.
I already had it all planned out, like I drew out a little map.
I've drawn a picture of it.Can we can we introduce our guests?
Sure? What's going on? Mitch? What's going on about it?
What's up? Yeah? What's happeninga lot in this weird bar or a
(01:17):
bathroom or whatever this is. Youguys got Shirley Temples. Yeah, we
got Chirley Temples's zuck, can yougive a Shirley Temple and a what do
you want mentioned virgin Shirley Temple anda virgin Chirley Temple? Please? So
that's a that's a sprite, thankyou. So I didn't know that little
little Grenadine, please, little Grenadine. I like, I like Temple,
(01:38):
would like a Roy Rogers. Hedidn't. You don't like a Roy Rogers.
I like Roy Rogers. I guessI mean I'd much rather have.
Of course I would, of courseyou would. I think I think that
so many things on our show,as usually if I say something, of
course you would, Yeah, becauseof course, because there's a lot of
things that are said on the showthat are fucked up, And I'm just
like, yeah, that's Jake,Yeah, way to go. So so
(02:00):
Soud, these are the two guysin a dart podcast, and we haven't
had a chance to actually work withthem on an actual episode, so we
decided that we would bring them toyour bar. Yeah. So, speaking
which guys, if you had tomake your penis into an animal, what
animal is it gonna be called?Giraffe? What this guy's always he wants
a really long skinny one like alike a number two pencil with dots.
(02:24):
Dude, they're not. It's notgonna be girthy. That's just gonna be
You're gonna look like fucking toys rus down there, Bobby, don't want
to grow up with a pencil,Dick. I'm just trying to get somebody
to play with it. Wait,so, if you're trying to get somebody
(02:45):
to play with it and you havea draft, Dick, do you put
the bow tie like under the chinor do you put the bow tie right
above the shoulders, right near thefriendulum it's under the chin, the friend
on the very bottom of the theshoulders, so you could play with the
rest near the balls. You wantyou where you want the tongue to go.
(03:06):
Hang on, hang on. Iremember a story about a bow tie
around your shoulders and you almost diedor something. And yeah, you probably
don't want to revisit that. Youcouldn't. You couldn't figure out how to
work it. You could. Thisdude couldn't figure out, for length of
them how to get the ring aroundhis balls. Oh yeah, my cock
(03:27):
ring. Yeah, Oh, theconrade didn't fit. That's not the problem.
You're talking about it. Were youputting it over the balls instead of
over the I've never been able tofigure out. I haven't done it since
(03:47):
I tried it one time and gaveup. It's a ring. It has
a name of what it goes on. It's pretty simple. It's cocked.
It was too small. But ifI had to pull over my nuts or
you know, I can do youput your pants? How do you put
your pants on the board. I'mvery interested in this whole lot because that's
(04:09):
like, you know, I couldI couldn't. I didn't know which direction
to go, like I have onedirection. One direction goes down. Yeah,
well I figured out. Mitch actuallysent me a direction a little book.
But I'll figure out. For that. You got to help your friends.
I thought you had to put itall the way over the shaft.
So I start and I really hopeit's pulled all the way over and I
can get all the way around mynuts. It was a horrible situation.
(04:31):
I hope this is one of thosescenes like when b Weerd thought he killed
that girl's cat and he's calling mefrom the bathroom, like check, I
think I smashed the cat, likeBobby's like, bitch, I'm in the
bathroom and it's just stuck on mywalls. I need you to google right
now. Any baby oil around you, baby powder probably He's like, he's
like a pancake paste down there.So, Mitch, what animal is your
(04:58):
piece? I'm going with a peacock. Previous reasons, Oh okay, yeah,
female? Right, yeah, man, I like to show it off.
You know, you just want thebrown cos I want the I want
the full fan feather situation, goingon a full fan. Yeah, so
the male. The male is actuallycolorful. The female is not colorful at
all. Fine either. One.If if I had if I had the
(05:19):
peacock down there, I would takethat scene. Remember the movie with the
Howard Stern private parts and he's talkingabout pig vomit trying to say, you
would be I think the word whatanimal? Oh, I don't fucking know.
(05:42):
You know, you know it's afake animal. But here's but here's
here's what I want. I wantedto be the billy, the billy,
the singing bass, you know whatI mean. It's like that thing that's
all so that way, yeah,so that way. All of a sudden,
dude, when it gets a fuckinghang, when it gets a fucking
hard on. Like it turns tothe left real quick and it's like hello
there, I love you, andit just continues to go down that road.
(06:02):
Dude, I'm all about that fuckinglife. Oh it makes me want
to change my answer. Oh man, that's a good one. So if
there was a sound jake when yougot a hard on? Well, can
I tell you what animal my wieneris? Now? Oh? Yeah,
pause, we can? We can. I didn't get to I didn't realize
that the moderator of the fucking gamewanted to play. But go ahead,
(06:24):
Well I wanted to play. Ilove Who doesn't like to play with their
wiener? Shut up? That's astupid, stupid question. Unless Bobby and
I would now now that it couldbe fake, it would be Earthworm Jim.
But I wanted to be a lemur. I want it to be a
lemur because I want to have thenight vision and creep people out and then
(06:46):
when I'm inside I could maybe seewith the not Would you really want to
see though while you're in the Yes? I do, Yes, I'm a
weirdo. Yes, okay, boys, would you want to see? Like
like if you if you could puta camera on your dick, I'm not
put the nose, not you,not you, the the two guys that
that showed up in this dart that'soutside. Would you guys want to have
(07:08):
a camera on the on the outsideof your penis or the that goes in
the hole so you can explore?Yeah, I'd like to take a look.
I'm all about exploring. See Mitch, uh yeah, that's the laugh
of it. That was confident thaton the ring? Yeah, Well that
(07:30):
camera thing goes along with what oneof your post about best pickup lines,
Bobby, what kind of ring didyou buy for your cock? That not
the doorbell? And Mitch is overthere trying to install it at his house.
You guys want the password to thething? I get? You said
no, no, So on yourpost about the pickup lines, I put
(07:55):
I wish I was an astronaut soI could explore your anus. It would
be a perfect time to use acamera. That's which hole would you rather
explore with the camera? Well,the pinkle ain't going on that brown hole
with the camera. Worried about whatI find in there might make me not
want to go in there again.I might find some corn in there or
something. Bro, who are youhanging out with corn like con you know,
(08:22):
corns, corn is actually going tosolve world hunger. It is too
because you eat it, your renseit, you eat it. I hate
his thing. I hate this theory. It's so gross. You mean to
tell me that they're that one shatof corn completely ruins all the all the
rest of the nutrients that are inthose kernels. No, it ruins it
because it's covered in shit. Bword. I don't care about the neutral
the things that you could be grossedout by, Like that's the thing that
(08:45):
gets you. I didn't There's noway do you want to eat a bowl
full of B word, corn gotrinsed off and stuff. I don't know,
corns corn right, Yeah, Imean if you wash the corn off,
like if you had if you hadsome sort of like liquid sanitizing,
like corn sanitizer, like I'd beall about that. Dude. It's like
PAULI Shore when he's drinking, Yeah, Polly Shore when he's drinking his piss
and from in the army. Nowhe's like, oh look it's cleaning.
(09:09):
Yeah. I guess there's worse things. You're right, Mitch. Al Right,
guys, so we had this,we had this conversation with the Inner
Idiot on our last episode. Butif you're going to have a tattoo anywhere
or in any one of these threeareas, are you going to do it
on your eyelids? Are you gonnado it on your dickhead? Or are
you gonna do it on your asshole? Oh? Do you do? Do
(09:31):
I get to go first? Sure? Yes, I'm doing an asshole the
whole way. Du What are youputting on your asshole? Something? I
don't know, man, Like somethingamazing though, Like you want to do
like a Simpsons donut? Yeah,something some of that effect. It's really
gonna get people. Like, firstof all, people are gonna be like,
there's no way that's real, Likethat's he's making that up. And
(09:52):
then when they see it, they'relike, holy shit, that's pretty awesome.
Bobby. I would get a tattooon the head of my deck,
and what would it be and Bobbyare the same? Yeah, but I
wouldn't have a picture. I wouldget words. I would put I'm here
about the blowjob. I was hopingit was gonna have instructions about it.
Get hard, yeah, get wet, put it hole. Hey, Bobby,
(10:13):
are you circumcised. I am okay, So if you weren't circumcised,
though, I would love it,like if you actually like hit the words
so you had to roll it downkind of like a scroll. Just be
fucking phenomenal. But no, Ido the eyeballs. I already said that
I would get eyeballs tattooed on myeyeballs. The nerd in me thought of
scrolls when you said scrolls like ashape shifting penis. Fuck the MCU.
(10:39):
Dude, that's such a bad fuckingmess. Right now, you can do
the the generic version of the tattooerthat get one hundred dollars bill and that
way your wife can stay home.And dude, I'm sorry, I can.
I don't know if I have enoughdick for that. I might just
have to have to have. Yeah, you're gonna attack me the wrapper on
your penus. No, I wantthe I want the fucking Lincoln half dollar.
(11:03):
No, I want you to havethe rapper. And then when you're
playing with it, you can belike, what up, Curtis, I'll
bring it to the candy show.Every time Beard walks in down sext to
his wife, he goes go showed. All right, So, uh,
(11:24):
Uh, What's what's going on withthe two guys in a dart right now?
What are you guys doing? Whyare you here? Well, we
were looking for a bathroom and thisended up being a weird bathroom this.
I don't know what we're doing rightnow. I really don't know, man.
We've got a lot of ideas inthe works. We've started planning some
(11:46):
travel to kind of see what wecan really go out and look at and
bring back to the show. So, I mean, I think there's some
interesting stuff out there. Bobby's littlebit on these conspiracy theories. We're mere
hours away from Dallas, which isI think the next thing we're gonna do
is much like we did with Waco. We're gonna go up and research the
(12:09):
JFK stuff all, you know,the where it happened and the looks and
the angles and everything else. Reallykind of played with that for a little
while because it's some serious stuff goingon. Had some pretty heavy stuff.
You guys were in uvald you today, which how about that? I will
(12:31):
tell you right now. I'm gonnalet Bobby tell you too, because he
gets a little more, you know, with it, and he has actual
legitimate kids. I saw a.They have several different monuments and there's one
in the center of town and Iwas looking at this one and this it
had the little girl's date of birthand then the day of the thing.
She was like two weeks shy ofher tenth birthday. And when you looked
(12:56):
at that thing, I was like, oh shit, like the weight of
it hitting because you're other than that. You're just kind of looking around like
buildings versus what you saw on thenews, and then you see that and
it's like there's some more weight tothat. So going out and looking at
it is even something else. Yeah, it was heavy. It was heavy,
(13:16):
and you know, how do Isay it? Not trying to suck
the air out of the room withit. But I mean, I'm just
fascinated with with real life crime.I like trying to understand the psychology behind
it. That's kind of alice,but my interest. And I mean sounds
creepy to some people, but themore violent it is, the more you
know. Yeah, I mean Iwould love to go check his house out
(13:37):
all that kind of stuff, ButI just I just like trying to understand
that or looking at it, likewhat kind have prevented it? That kind
of stuff is just how my brainworks. But it sounds morerbid to some
people. That's just what I'm into. This is what it is. But
yeah, after that, man,I'm gonna need a vodka. You gotta
do you get a shot of vodkain there, so so I put it
(14:01):
on my tap. You know,it's my tab. I'm paying, Okay,
we have guests. I'm trying tobe proper, proper because when they
were talking about you finally pay yourbill, yes, And also I was
I was trying to shut up forhim, but my thought is still there.
So when he was saying about youknow how he likes to watch video
and figure out and like, youknow, go places, and I was
(14:22):
thinking of porn street. Honest tokeep a bottle of lotion in your box.
I do the same thing, Bobby. I do the same thing,
Bobby. You can only watch oneporn star for the rest of your life.
Which porn star are you? Areyou choosing? Fuck? You know
what some cliche. I love JennaJamison, but I'm be a roll with
(14:45):
you and be a real real withyou. Sense we're on or we're here
with sal the I'd probably say whatever, fucking porn star is the biggest laby
the won he likes to make.Yeah, dude, I don't know.
I'm just kidding, Like the extrado you like to fuck use the up
and mitt to fucking pull him out? I just I love that ship.
(15:07):
That's just my thing. Suck onlike a like an Asian guy. Put
some soy sauce on those bitches andyou look it off. Who was the
villain in Dick Tracy that fucking atethe oysters? What the fun was his
name? Because that's all that's goingthrough my mind. Just first yeap,
(15:28):
oh my god. I had thisand obviously we'll rename remain nameless, but
had this sex girlfriend and first timewe're gonna have sex, she's like,
I don't want to show you.I have a little bit extra down there.
I was like, what the fuckyou gotta dick and she's like no,
And it was my first experience withit, but it was so fucking
he'd already tried to put on thecock ring. Hey Bobby, Hey Bobby,
(15:48):
have you ever measured against it,like if you had big enough one
where you could like you sat thereand you guys like, you know,
no, never measured against it.But I know I are you gonna do
it, Mitch Pluck, Yeah,tonight, we're gonna do that. What
are you talking about his camera?I'm ready, all right, Mitch.
(16:08):
You can only watch one porn starrest of your life. Who you pick?
It? Paid steal page stage.I like that. That's a great
one. I'm a big fan ofthat. I actually just saw her and
I just started following her. Ithink because of you, bitch on Instagram.
Page gains great made page steel.Hold on, I'm going to the
(16:33):
ech Oh wow, I like apog. Wow, dude, she's got
she's gotta ask for weeks. Ohmy lord, is all right? I'm
picking a dude. And there's multiplereasons. I just somehow new because because
I want variety, and he'll alwaysbe paging a different chick, and so
(16:55):
I actually get to see the multiplegirls. And it's it's the loophole,
it's the it's the lawyer. Now, mind you, I have to see
you withins. I'm going with PeterNorth. Oh okay, he's a weird
looking dude, So I don't careabout him. I care about the variety
he's been with. I'm looking atthe variety pack. I'm like that weird
smoker that bought the Marble like packwhere there's like different brands in the same
(17:19):
box. Like I'm that guy theword Well, I gotta look him up.
Hold on, now he's no nowhis patron or Peter North. He
could go either way for the dude, I don't remember who the Owen Gray.
So you inspired me, Jake,I'm a I'm also gonna pick a
dude Owen Gray, so Owen Grays. But wait, but I'm not in
(17:45):
it for him, Jake, remember, So that being the case, He's
got this tattoo on his body whereletters start coming out of this really dark
tattoo. It's really weird. Buthe's like all the women that he's with,
we got cream highs, We've gotfucking you know, reverse cowgirl,
we got the whole works like hehe he lines them up. Or what's
(18:06):
the best position? Yeah, that'sa good question. What's the best position?
Mitch? Dude, I gotta behonest with you. It depends on
the mood. I don't think thereis not for you, like like what
you're watching like now, I'm sorry, so because there's a difference, like
yourself, there's things at work,but there's angles you want to see.
Yeah, right, I don't know, man, I guess it also depends
(18:29):
on the mood, like am Iwatching Owen Gray or am I watching paid
Steel? I don't know. Lowcamera missionary, man, I guess that's
okay. So right front, rightin there, man, you want to
see right in front? I wantto sell like the dick camera. We
were talking just external Bobby. Sothey should be getting fucked for the angle
(18:52):
because I like watching the song.I like solo masturbation for the front because
I try to go for the squirtersspreading. Yeah, like the but if
we're looking at from the back angle, which I probably prefer, I like
watching them gave themselves. Yeah,the wink, I like a little winky
wow, not like the not captainwinky. Like I have to say that.
(19:15):
I hope they can drive a carand the ship to ship. I'm
learning new things about Bobby and somy Amazon style Amazon style is fucking have
you guys seen Amazon's amazing? Whatis Amazon? Look it up, Robert,
(19:37):
look it up right that ship rightnow? Amazon? Like for for
you and I, Bobby, it'sgonna be kind of hard, like let's
be let's let's go to Amazon accountsthere. But I'm telling you, if
if you want to look at ifyou want to look at a position of
fucking that like, it is interestingand I will probably never have a chance
to do it. I want towatch it Amazon Styles, legit. I
(20:02):
really thought I was the only onethat came across the you know, my
four U page there and I waslike, I'm about that one. I've
done it. It's fun. I'vealso been picked up. I told you
I have that weird, that weirdthing with muscle girls. No wait,
(20:23):
wait, like you would fuck likethe times right, like bodybuilders, Well
like they were trying to be that'sa Bobby thing too. You two are
like the same fucking dude, Iknow, except you're the one in his
arrowd. We're the opposite of thetens. We're a parallel universe right now,
guys looking across the table. Butyeah, I've been picked up.
It's fun. Yeah, I've beenpicked up. I had this fucking chick
fucking I was, oh my god, I went to this girl's house,
(20:45):
right, You've been picked up.Oh my god. So I go to
she is a bodybuilder. I'm justlike and that I was floating on the
cash and she's like, oh,let's go fucking. I'm like all right,
So I get up and go infront of her. Apparently I was
walking too slower water. I don'twant too slow, because she fucking picks
me up from behind and carries meto the bed and then fucking throws it
on me and throws me on thebed and then fucks me. It's crazy
(21:07):
in the ass. Yeah, andthat's how I learned. I like.
And right after that, she's like, thanks for the cock crew. I
uh know, it's fun, It'sit's different. I don't know, see
I see now I want to gowith Bobby's is like the deep throat like
angle is always cool. The girlon top's always good, always good,
(21:33):
booty shaking, all that. Yeah, facing me though, I need them
facing me. I know for videosit's the reverse cover because it's like it's
the angle that shows you like,oh, this is what they would look
like. Do you ever yell anythingout during sex? Yeah? Like,
what's the weirdest thing, the weirdestthing that you've yelled out during sex?
Me? Or do you want togo with somebody else first? I imagine
(21:56):
that that these boys might need tomight need to give it a think one
time she burned in my Mouma saidit's like hot dogs. Another time another
time says, I'm in the pukeout of all my holes because I slapped
myself in the ball to by accident. I tried to smack her ass really
(22:19):
hard when she was on top,and I missed and hit my balls.
You played yourself, that's great.I almost knocked myself out. Dude,
it was so bad. And thenI'm on the ground. She goes,
you're a little bitch. I wouldI know, I know that's also the
candy corn girl. Oh mat youever yell anything out mad? Like crazy?
(22:44):
We need room service? Like wereyou finishing right now? I was
like fucking extra, like I wascoming like I was the hole coming back
down to the other guy, andI was like, fuck, we're gonna
need food. So I was like, we need room service. I have
in my in my drinking days,I did have one moment where I had
to ask what hole I was?Actually? Another time, did you yell
(23:04):
it at it? You know?I was was tough. I don't even
know what a hold of it right, And the other one was I think
she squirted, But I asked,is that you were you weren't sure if
you squirted or what. I don'tknow. I didn't know what happened.
(23:25):
All right, Bobby a tie,So I gotta say both of them right.
So, uh, when I wasfucking that deaf check, I was
trying to tell her that she neededwe could you know, let's fucking turn
over or something. But then Irealized I was like, oh, you
can't hear me. Wouldn't have matteredwhat you And then the other one was
(23:49):
if you don't take your finger out, I'm gonna ship. Yeah, that
was the death chick as well.She just kept pushing I could we nip
asshole and your whips that you wakeit? Oh? Fuck? Oh that
(24:15):
was fun? Yeah that yeah.Mine was just like called her daddy for
me and you're over there. Yes, thank you daddy, because because I
was dude, I was smacking.We're smacking guts, dude, and she's
like, do you like it?Do you like it? Do you like
it? Daddy? And I'm likeyes, daddy, And then I realized,
(24:37):
oh, fucking ship, that's enough. I'm not doing that anymore.
But I love when we're together.We always learned new things. I know,
definite things. Hey, thanks forthanks for driving that dart over to
Sal's tab or boys, thank youfor having me. Yeah, yeah,
that was a weird bathroom. WellSal, Jake's got this, got this
tab. You already heard it.So Jake, I'll catch your next fucking
(25:00):
month. Boys, good luck inyour travels, and about five guys sh
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