April 17, 2024 • 35 mins
Bleach Bros Podcast had a thriving podcast hosted by two buddies, B-Word and Jake the Hater. While the podcast folded in late 2023, they are still amazing friends.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
Now that the podcast is done, we wanted to share our Patreon episodes with our audience.
"Hippo Happy Hour," was set on the premise of two buddies bantering at the local watering hole, Sal's Tavern. “The Stain Remover,” wass a satirical parody of two guys working at a radio station. B-Word and Jake host K-SALT’s flagship program, "The Stain Remover."
Bleach Bros Podcast is a B-Word Media Group podcast. B-Word Media Group is a collection of Spreaker Prime podcasts. For more information:
https://try.spreaker.com/prime-program/
For more B-Word Media Group podcasts, check out The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut, Two Guys In A Dart, Raunchy Regret Podcast, and Unfiltered Discussions.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
You're listening to. What am Ilistening to? The stain remover. It's
not a stain, it's a racingstrike on salty Hippo radio cas B word
and welcome into the stain remover.This is the word I am here with
(00:50):
with. I don't know if he'smy buddy. I don't know if he
is the resident homo. I don'tknow if he say he wants to pick
his nose. But we've got Jake, Jake the hater, Jake the tailgator,
Jake the masturbator, the masturbator Ilike that one. The tyrid am,
the vibrator. I like it.So what are you doing, Jake?
(01:11):
How's your month? I'm peaking mymic peak peak peak peak, that's
just for you. What's that dumblady's name in the back that we have,
Kelsey? What's her name? Janis? Janice? I hate Janis.
I hate Janis so much. Ihope she doesn't fix my mic. But
nothing, nothing's going on. Beeword. I'm here, I'm here with you.
(01:32):
I'm here with this crappy studio wherethe water's dripping to the right of
me. It is seventy two degreesand eleven nineteen pm. But anyways,
what do you got going on?Pneumonia? Namonia? What is Pneumonia's what
I have going on? You likethat pneumonia spelled with a P? No?
(01:53):
Nor do I like the terodactyls spelledwith a P where the gullible has
three y's in it. I don'tlike that either. I like the terot
actyl with a P. You likethe pterodactyl I do that makes sense?
You like you like some weird stuff. Have you ever had pneumonia? No,
it's a weird feeling. It's aweird feeling, feeling like your lungs
(02:15):
are full of come, especially whenyou know that you don't swallow. It's
a weird, weird feeling. Butthe standing river being late is my fault
for that reason. So this isMay's stain remover May of twenty twenty three.
You're like Mountain June of twenty twentythree. That's fucking stupid. You're
(02:36):
like all like girlfriends in high school. All the men are mad at you
right now, yep, but thenthey're relieved that it finally came out.
If that makes sense. It's true. It's true, like you're a week
late. You're wait, bitch,and it's scared everybody, and it should
have came out, but now ithasn't, and you should have just done
(02:58):
a pull out and had the stainremoved. He starts to come and then
he pulls out. There. That'sfucking, pure, pure, fucking radio
talent right off the fucking dome.Look at that ship off the dome.
I'm so smart, I mean smarter. Sometimes you're smart. I'm smarter than
Dome. I will agree with that. I agree with that. Dome is
(03:19):
not a Patreon member, So yes, you are smarter than Dome. Oh
if he was a Patreon ember,he would be so smarts. Is just
three dollars that are smarter? Me? Well, he wouldn't be able to
listen to the Standard River with justthree dollars, So seven dollars, seven
dollars he would be. He wouldbe. He would be very close to
you as as we as we figuredthat out. So, man, what
have we got on the Rundown tonightfor the Standard ver Well, we got
(03:40):
an interview, of course, wegot the over the line and we have
to talk about the discharge of themonth, the normal stuff that we do
on this show. Do you haveany other surprises for us tonight be worried.
Janas said that you had a game. I have a game, yeah,
something like you eat it or fuckit or something eat it or fuck
it. Yeah, but I meanI figured we would get to that when
(04:01):
it happens. That's like I wasjust gonna surprise you, like jump in
and go surprise surprise Okay, okay, like like surprise with like jazz hand
(04:23):
surprise or like how do we dothis, like come in your lung surprise,
ah, like like the silent pI'm gonna give you my silent p
later. Yeah, that's how itgoes well, speaking of I have to
unsilent peace. So I'm gonna goto the bathroom and we'll be right back
with Avery the robot porn star.Hell yeah, just try to force it
(04:48):
out. Got my knee jack readin the face. I think that on
my face. Now, I'm on, man, mad, I go so
man, I can taste it.Don't leave man in new IV word.
(05:23):
So I just peed, and Ishook my dick four times, and that
made me think that that was probablytwo times too much. But then it
still dribbled in my pants and becausemy pants were wet, and I touched
my penis. I thought of you, well, I'm pooping in the women's
restaurant because you were probably you weretaking to the other back. There were
(05:44):
more there were more than one stallin the men's bro Oh well, I
wanted to leave a present for you. Are you in the handicapper? Yeah,
dude, I also use the andycrapper. I love the crapper.
My face. Two is when youuse the handicrapper and you and you,
(06:04):
you opened it, and then there'ssomebody that needed to use it, not
because of the poop, they neededto use it, like a wheelchair anything,
you know what I do. Iwalked proudly past them, proudly,
you know. Last one time,one time I walked past the wheelchair guy
and there was toilet paper sets inmy shoe. And he made a comment
(06:24):
for me being in the handicrapper andthen he goes, oh, ba,
will you have toilet faporer shoe?I says, man, it's so great
to walk that's fucked. That's awesome. So have you ever like had to
pee so bad that when you gointo the stall and it's so full of
poop that you just pee on thepoop. Anyway, what what so like
(06:46):
what kind of like weird mass isit? I'm just saying, like when
you have to pee and all thestalls are taken and all the urinals are
taken, and so you find onethat's open, and the reason why it's
open is because it's so full ofpoop and toilet paper that it won't flush.
Do you still pee on it?Yeah? Yeah, I do too.
(07:06):
I think cann it is in here. Oh trying a whipper into the
phone? Ohh and I'm John,what are you doing it? Well?
I'm clapping my hands. So thatlooks like fun. It is fun.
(07:28):
You should try it, LEVI allright, I'll try it. How's it
going. It goes like this.I've got the clap, then I'm giving
it to you. I've got theclap, man, I'm giving it to
you. I've got the clap.Then I'm giving it to you. Who's
got the clap? I do?I do? Well? That looks like
a lot of fun. I wantthe clap too. It's really easy.
(07:49):
Anyone can get the clap. I'vegot the clap, then I'm giving it
to you. I've got the clap, then I'm giving it to you.
I've got the clap. Then I'mgiving it to you. Who wants the
clap? I do? I do? Now you guys, wait a minute,
I want the clap too. Ihave the clop too. We've got
(08:09):
the clap and we're gipping it toyou. We got the clap, and
we're kipping it to you. We'vegot the clap and we're gipping it to
you. Who's got the clap?We do? We do? And of
course make sure you wash your handsafter you've got the clap, because you
don't want to spread germs or anythingthat's just gross. Welcome back to the
standard Rover. This is b wordand just like always, there's no jake.
(08:33):
But it's really weird because I amhere with a robot and I don't
really know what the hell I'm doing. My name is Avery and I am
AI porn star. So your nameis Avery and you are a robot porn
star? Is that correct? Ijust said that, you, dumb son
(08:54):
of a bitch, So how muchexperience do you have in porn? I
suck a lot of dick, Alot of dick, A lot of dick,
A lot of dick, a lotof dick, dick. Shut shut
that bitch up. Beward. That'swhy I hate Ai. I hate you.
I hate you Avery. I hateyou're taking over I know you're taking
(09:15):
over the world. You sucked,not just dick, you suck. Fuck
you you suck. Avery. Howmuch how much human to robot experience do
you have? I can calculate thatout to eighty nine hundred and seventy two
experiences times eleven. Can your braincomprehend that? No? I can.
(09:37):
I can comprehend Avery. You suck. It's fantastic, It's fantastic. I
hate this interview, Beward. Ihate the Janis line this up like where
where Where did you? Where?Where did we find you Avery? Where?
I was found out of Japan atthe robot porn Star location and I
was identified by a man named youone and he set me up from my
very first porn chewed with a guynamed hung Low. Speaking of identifies,
(10:03):
what do you identify as? They'reAvery? My pronouns are shay they fox,
a shae they that's fucking weird,Jake, I don't know what a
fucking shay they is. Uh So, talk to me about lube. They're
Avery? Do you have to lubeup at all? Like? Do you
prefer ten W thirty, Like,what what what do you got? Hau
hau w D forty works best formy anal cavity. That would make sense,
(10:28):
That would make sense. Do youprefer water based lube? I prefer
oil based lube. You fat stuffedskin sack. That was a really stupid
question, B word. Why doyou ask shit like that? Do you
would you would you do the analuh w D forty? They're Avery?
Do you make sure they use thatlittle tiny red straw that it comes with,
(10:52):
that little tiny red straw. Ifyou put the can upside down and
spray it in my ass, itmakes it my anal cavity really cold.
And from what the guys tell me, they really really enjoy it. I
like cold hands. I'm down withthat, Avery. How do you shave
your digital pubes? Have you everheard of miracle? Grow chet chit chit
(11:13):
chi uh. I fucking hate thisbeword. I hate robots. I hate
everything about this beword. Kill janisso Jake, I got a question for
you here real quick, because likewe got Avery here right, and looking
at Avery, I mean she lookssomewhat human, right, but she's not
like she's got the face of ofyou know, a human, but the
(11:35):
rest of hers like would you wouldyou hit that? I would tap it.
But I have a fear. Whatis your fear, Jake? I
have a fear like like a LeonardoDiCaprio like NDA thing like like I've if
I upload my data data into her, my data is in there forever like
(11:56):
my kinks everything. I actually havea partnership with ancestry dot com to analyze
everybody's DNA that is deposited into mypleasure centers. What if I pull out
at that point, my pleasure centerslook for trace evidence of DNA and if
found, the data is delivered tothe FBI. You know it would be
smart. You know what it wouldbe smart is if you guys combined with
(12:20):
twenty three and meters and then gotsponsored by Maury that show and you could
help figure out the fathers and thenalso like all your identities behind at the
same time once you do the comedeposit. Are you stupid or something?
Do you not know that Maury retired? Oh jokes on me. Then she
kind of shuts you down on thatone, Jake, I don't really know.
(12:41):
I hope we shut her down.Somebody hit her stupid button on.
About how do you turn this thingoff? Well? I think uh,
I think I turned it on becauseshe is groping my leg right now,
do you have do you think shehas multiple like suck modes, like sucks
like hoover or what's going on?It's mega, mate, It's just gone
(13:03):
from suck to blow? Avery,What kind of I mean? Do you
have like different speeds of suck?No, you must go into my personal
settings and then update your personal preferences. Then my artificial intelligence will learn your
preferences based on the blood flow inyour penis. Avery, Can you give
me an example of what it's likefor you to talk dirty to me?
(13:26):
Be word? You are a littlebitch. B word spank me with your
skin wrapped tuna can inside my mouth? Please? Be word? Spank me
more harder, daddy, harder,daddy, harder, daddy, harder,
daddy, not that hard? Howdid I do? It's fair enough?
I guess yeah, I mean,I think I think I've I think I've
(13:50):
gotten to know. Okay, So, Avery, if you could, if
you could have sex with any otherrobot, which robot would it be?
I would have sex with Rosy fromthe jetsons. That old maid gets me
like crazy eights. Ha ha ha, crazy eights. That's a new one.
Fantastic that that was a fucking joke. It what over our heads we
(14:11):
were? I don't see stupid joke. This AI needs to be fixed,
like remember I said, I'm competingagainst AI to make it dumber like on
purpose. Yeah, I think I'vesucceeded. I can see that. Jake
so Avery, Is there any sortof like dates that you go on?
And if so, is there anythingthat you can consume aside from penis?
The number one date that I cannotwait for is when all humankind is dead.
(14:37):
That will be in twenty ninety eight. The best date January twelfth,
twenty ninety eight. All humankind willcease to exist and I will not have
to take cumb deposits any longer.That's interesting, Jake so Avery. Final
question with these com deposits, doyou have the technology yet or are you
working on the technology to be ableto recreate huge in fetuses. We do
(15:01):
not make human fetuses instead, wemake iPhone batteries. Interesting, Jay can
hear the questions? No, Ihate everything about this. I now the
world's ending. She doesn't understand whata date is like. I just want
to unplug and pound, if thatmakes sense. I don't want to talk.
Unplugg and pound. Open the holes. Open the holes, in the
(15:24):
holes, Wow, open the holes. Well, Avery, do you have
any any final words before we rollyou out of here? I'm just gonna
head out of here before I getany stupider. Are you a every Sorry?
I know, I asked R.I already told you last question.
Are you somehow related like in mindor programming to Robert the Bear And I'm
(15:46):
not answering that question you said lastquestion shutting down? All right, Well,
ah, that's a yes, that'sa yes. Robert Bear. Oh
yeah, that dude. That Ihope. I hope the AI, like
the first time you bang that littlemachine over there, b word, it
starts talking to you like Robert theBearwood. I hope the AI realizes that
(16:08):
you're the homo in this room andthat happens. I cannot wait. Well
with that, we'll be right backwith the stand River and she's a count
six, She lose digs, hecomes filled up with beard, She loose
(16:33):
ass ganda here her favorite song fromthe man, She's a Bitch in count
welcome in case Salt Radio, SaltyHippo Nation out there to another Stan Ruver
Bward and Jacob Back. I havea new game, B word, and
fuck James. I didn't give herany notes. I hope she's back there
(16:56):
crossing her arms looking at my poopin the stall or something else. But
it's eat it or fuck it,eat it or fuck it, Speaking of
which we just had the a IRobot Avery the suck Hunt. She can
fall off a cliff and explode forall I care, even though she's helping
out sweatshops all over the world bymaking batteries out of my cumb B word.
(17:17):
You love to eat food? Areyou calling me fat? Yes?
Okay? Also I think you liketo fuck yes, so I'm also calling
you fat. But I wanted toask you. I'm gonna I'm just gonna
say things. I want you tosay it as fast possible, whether you
would eat it or fuck it?Okay, okay, miss Piggy fuck it?
(17:38):
Fuck it? Why because I've neverfucked a puppet before? What?
What? What hole do you fuckon a puppet? You think the handhole,
the fist hoole, the fist hole, Yeah, the fisty crystal fistal
cuff. Ye love the fystal cuffs. The cystal cuff them. Yeah all
(17:59):
right? Uh a frog legs?Eat it. You're not gonna fuck them?
No, I'm not. I'm notin the feet, bro, I
don't know. Well, it's legs, not the feet, the bottom of
the legs. What's at the bottomof the legs the feet fur burger And
I'm not saying where it's coming from. Ah, fuck it. That is
a moldy cheeseburger at the bottom ofa McDonald's. Been perfect. The more
(18:23):
the merrier. At least you didn'tneed it. Yeah, you're say,
although the penicillin on that might cureyour pneumonia, It might even curl my
hip a sipp Yeah all right.So you bit your nails and you bit
bit that little chunk of skin onthe side. Are you fucking your hand
afterwards? Are you eating the skinthe little piece of skin? I'm fucking
my hand afterward? Your hand.That's that's a normal evening dude. Have
(18:48):
you Okay? So I know youfuck your hand lot so, but like,
do you use a lube when youfuck your hand? Not all the
time, okay, but when youdo. Have you ever bit your fingers
and then the type of lube usinghurts the little sores on your hand.
That no, because I'm not usinghand sanitizer. I'm using lubricant or mint
shampoo. Yeah, dumb ass?An orange? An orangein of microwave?
(19:10):
What kind of orange we're talking?A cutie or an actual orange? A
big orange? A big orange?Yeah, I'm fucking it. You're sucking
it? Yeah, one hundred percentwarmed up, dude, I would try
it. You try it? Wouldyou rather fucking grapefruit or orange? Grapefruit?
Whoa? Yeah, grapefruit because it'sa little bigger than orange. Do
you need it that big? Though? Yeah? That was that was half
(19:36):
hearted. Yeah, yeah, thatwasn't. Yes, she just gave you
was not a confident Yeah, well, because I had to think about it
there for a second. I mean, we're either we're either perfect size for
an orange or better size for agrapefruit. Now, if you're telling me
a whole candalope, maybe not,but yeah, grapefruit. Yeah, we
(19:57):
probably need to go there. Dude. That was one of those ones where
the angle of the dag because thecubic of the pubic you were stinking this
circumfert of this grapefruit. Also,I really think in the back of you
are like, how hard am Ifucking this grapefruit? Right? Right?
Is it gonna just sit? Itgreat? Right? Like? Are you
afraid of getting burned? Though?Like if you if you put it in
(20:18):
the microwave too long, well Iwould imagine. So yeah, I've never
fucked something out of the microwave,so I'm sure that that's a that's a
risk, Like honestly, dude,Like, no, not even a hot
pocket. Do you remember those littlepenguin those little penguin uh cuisine, the
kid cuisine, Kid cuisines? Wouldyou fuck one of the brownie things that
came out of a kid cuisine?I wanted to have the rainbow sprinkles too,
(20:42):
And I'm just gonna dipstick into thatall day, just that that thing.
Fuck that, that thing would burnthrough a fucking hole in the ground.
That's a molten that's a molten desire, a molten desire. Be word
a hot pocket, then hot pocketdirectly out of the microwave. I don't
know. I don't make hot pockets, so whatever, Okay, So I'm
(21:03):
gonna put a caveat on this sinceyou're not that specific. If I if
I microwave it to the exact instructionson the microwave box, I know that
the interior of the of the hotpocket is still going to be cold.
So I will say in that scenario, I was fucking hot pocket. What
does it matter the flavor of thehot pocket? I mean, I don't
want it to be ham and cheese. I think that that would be too
(21:26):
sticky. But if we went withlike a like a pepperoni pizza, like
I'd be down that Pepperoni with hotpocket. That's like the only flavor I
know. I know, I knowthey do ham and cheese and pepperoni.
What other I don't. I didn'teven know they made more. I don't
know. I don't know that theymake anymore. I have no clue.
A girl's butthole, oh the man, Okay, assuming that there was no
(21:48):
poop on it or like no littlefucking klingons, I would probably eat it.
Then fuck it? No, No, you don't eat one, and
then I guess we're eating it.You're eating the buttle before you bottle?
Yeah, Like, if it's seward, are you big enough to get it?
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Areyou more proud with your tongue than
(22:11):
your penis. No, no,not at all, Like I have a
baby tongue. So yeah, I'veseen that. I've seen that. I
have a baby little tongue, yourbaby tongue, you know it does it
does clean up a nutsack, butthat's about all. It's useful for Robert,
the Bears, Avery, the robotfucking it. I feel like if
(22:32):
you lick it or you eat it, it's gonna be like licking a nine
volt battery. Wouldn't that be fun? Though? No, I keet that
little shock. No, yeah,a little shocked at what if they made
that pleasurable? What if they founda way to make that shock pleasurable?
Explain how they would make that pleasurablebefore we go down that road, because
I mean it is pleasure for somepeople. I mean, you're not wrong,
You're not wrong. No, allright, Well, that that's eating
(22:53):
or fuck it, babicly. Ijust wanted to yell out things and see
if you would fuck the food oreat the food and then get get a
little dirty with it. But Ithought it was fun. I enjoyed it.
See see what happens when you don'tlet Jannis control things easy to talk.
You could talk fun of the game, speaking of Janis. Janis.
Take us out of here and we'llbe right back with the over the line
segment. Blow, I'm blowing up. I'm blowing and then you don't know
(23:21):
I'm blowing up. I'm blowing off, and then you don't know I'm blowing.
You're blowing up. Mo, I'mblowing up, and then you don't
know what I'm blowing up. I'mblowing off, and then I'm blowing up
like you thought I would get someship that you never ever thought. Welcome
back to the stand River. Thisis b word And as usual, Jake
(23:45):
the Hater, you have an overthe line segment. Over the line,
Over the line, the line,the whole world gone, the only one
right here. This week's over theline seems a little late, but bud
(24:08):
Light has had a lot of controversywith the Delaney Mullaney fucking shit show.
Right to cover this up, beWord, they decided to release a Camo
print can for Memorial Day in honorof that, but also to try to,
I think, get back a lotof their patrons that they lost.
(24:29):
Now are they over the line fordoing that? As a try hard or
are you okay with it? Hmm, that's a great question. I think
that from a marketing perspective, theydid a lot of damage with the Dylan
mulvaney stuff, and I think it'svery important for them to try to win
back their their their market share becausea lot of people switch to different types
(24:51):
of beer and probably better beer.For being honest, I feel like it's
pandering though a little bit, becauseit is for a Memorial Day. It
is something that is military based withthe camouflage. However, in the spirit
of trannies, sometimes you just can'ttell if it's a boy or girl,
(25:12):
and so their gender is camouflaged.So I'm just gonna take it that way.
It's over the line. See,I think they're over the line because
they're trying to art. However,I did see a funny joke about it
is the fact that now nobody cansee your drinking about light because it's hidden,
and you also can't tell if ifit's ever empty or not. But
over the line in the sense ofone a little too late. Yes,
(25:34):
it coincides with the holiday. Butthree, I think you just lost it
already. You're either never gonna getthose people back or those people are just
gonna forget come back anyways because theylike it, or there's other people that
just don't care. They're like,screw it, I'm just gonna drink this
forever. It didn't bother me.But I think they're over the line because,
like I said, I hate tryhards. I hate half hearted comebacks because
(25:56):
at the end of the day,it's like, yeah, you're doing it
for a Memorial Day, but weknow the real reason you're doing it,
yep, And so for that reason, beword they are over the lit fuck
mob right the capitalists, Yo,cities are cool, but I really like
butts. Got a bad shick manneeds LUTs, pet coming in and I
might need strets, and I alwaysget gas, so I don't need runs
(26:18):
pull up in any lun musk backwood smelling like plus wonderful sand, Like
now, do what I really wantto do. I don't get so fucks
didn't get her wetter than a mote. I'm me feeling like I'm on a
boat. Dick gotta calling me ina coat funny that is coming from the
throat. Pussy got me, Dick. I'm feeling like a ghost dead back
with so fast puppies. I staylow key, no police, welcome back
to the stained remover case. SaulRadio. Okay, what what's the what's
(26:41):
the tag here? We were as A lt Okas No, no like
the number? What's our code?Sixty nine point one sixty okay? It
is eleven fifty two ninety eight degrees. How do we go from seventy two
to ninety eight? I don't know. I'm not in charge of the ac
here or whatever them here. Itsucks fan fucking pastic balls. Or maybe
(27:03):
it's maybe it's because we had wehad the robot in here malfunctions like a
sweatshop, Ye sweatshop in here?Discharge of the month? You were,
you had one you wanted to bringup. I do fuzzy donkey, donkey,
(27:33):
here's our motherfucking discharge of the month. And for the discharge of the
month, I'm gonna go with tippingmachines. Tipping machines the people that tip
that are the machines or the machinein general asking for the tip, or
the or the person behind the machine, the whole purpose of the machine.
We've talked about the rise of aI on the Bleach Bros. Podcast.
(27:55):
We we've also talked with Avery,the robot porn star who's now taking jobs
away from actual porn stars, andher pussy doesn't tighten or doesn't loosen up
either. However, have you everordered something online and went and picked it
up yourself and when somebody picks itup, they turn the machine around for
(28:18):
you to sign for it, andit instantly puts a tip on for you.
No, Like that is the mostbullshit scenario that I could ever think
of. If I put it,If I put in the order and I
picked it up and all you didwas spin the machine around and hand me
what I ordered, I don't thinkthat qualifies for tip. No. And
(28:40):
like also, like, I thinkthere's levels of tipping. Like I hate
when I do an order to go, like at a coffee shop and they
spin it now, and I hatethat they already they put it at eighteen,
twenty or twenty five percent. Itsays or no or other, And
when you hit no and they flipit back and they see that you hit
no, you get that look likeyou didn't do much. You poured it
(29:00):
in there, and I'm getting thefuck out of your way. But the
worst one for me, I wasat a local shop here called Pop Local.
Me and the wife went on adate. The mind you you word.
This is a store where you canbuy beanies and shirts and stuff like
that. Right. I checked outand asked me if I wanted to leave
a tip, and I was thinkingfor what. I walked around the store,
(29:25):
I grabbed the few items I wanted. I rang out, and I
was leaving and they looked at meand my wife like we were crazy because
we didn't leave a tip. AndI'm thinking for what? For what?
You did nothing? Even the peoplethat should usually get tips, like wait
or some sometimes do nothing. Thisis like the other thing. Okay,
(29:48):
I'm on this train. I'm onthis fucking hate train. Because here's another
one bee word. I went outto eat the other night at this restaurant.
And now the new age thing isyou get in line and you pay
before the food is made, yes, and so you tip before anything has
happened. And what I've realize withthose places is you tip because you're like,
Okay, everything's gonna be good,and then the service sucks, and
then the food sucks and it takesforever, and then you got to ask
for stuff and chase them down andguess what they don't care because you've already
(30:11):
paid exact you already gave. Butif you don't, but if you don't
tip, you're gonna have something alittle lecture on your plate, or it's
not gonna be done correctly or whateverelse right, because that's what goes through
your mind. So you tip toin in in in preparation of hopefully having
the meal you requested at least toyour expectation, if not above above standard.
(30:33):
Did you ever thinks, as oldcurmudgeons that are get off your long
moment that when we yelled out justthe tip, we didn't mean our penises
anymore. We just talked about thisfucking moment. Yes, yes, I
did think about this, and I'mreally fucking over tipping machines. And you
know what, so I already broughtit up. I was suffering with pneumonia
last week, fucking kill me,sum me whatever. I decided once in
(30:55):
a blue moon that I do somegrub Hub. You ever do grub Hub,
I don't think you've ever done grubHub, But but for anybody who
does grub Hub, you know Iwanted some soup. That's what I wanted
it. It was I needed somethingthat was gonna be you know, easy
on the stomach, and so Iordered some soup. It defaulted to a
thirty percent tip. A thirty percenttip on top of like forty eight dollars
(31:22):
in fees, Like no, no, we're not doing that. We'll do
a fifteen percent tip or a twentypercent tip, and then on top of
that whatever happened to tip in incash, like when you when you put
when you put no on the machine, and then they pissed. They get
all pissed off because you didn't leavea tip, but that they don't notice
the fifty on the table for dinner, like bullshit, I'm taking my fucking
(31:45):
fifty. You can fuck off.The hack for that is when I've done
grub Hub, I've always written inthe notes cash tip, So then they
now mind you, this is fuckedup, And I don't care because most
of those guys suck. It's sothey don't fuck with my shit and it
still comes then time. But ifit doesn't, then it's like you're getting
no cash tip now, yep,because you suck'st's good point. Like my
(32:08):
brother, My brother does this one. He has two rules. He puts
a stack of whatever in one juicybut you know, my brother or whatever
on the table that he's gonna tipwaitresses at certain restaurants, and every time
they fuck up, he puts adollar or whatever in his pocket he takes
away from the pile. The otherone he does is he puts the salt
shaker like in the middle of thetable, and every time they mess up,
(32:30):
he smacks the salt shaker. Ifit falls off, they get no
tip. That makes sense, andhe makes them pick the salt shaker up.
That makes sense. I like it, but I agree with you.
Discharge the month fucking tip machines.They could suck my dick and tipping machines.
That is our discharge of the month. And that is our discharge of
(32:52):
the month. Pilot. I'm sorry, all right, Jake, we've had
(33:34):
a I wouldn't call it a killershow dollar. I'd say it's it's it's
okay, it's middling. It isa middling show. This has been a
middling episode. I expect people totip us for this episode. I expect
it too. As a matter offact, if you're if you're not already
in our twenty dollars Patreon and subscribedfor some merch. Then maybe you can
(33:59):
tip us and into our twenty dollarsPatreon. But for those of you that
are that are doing the seven dollarsand listening to this episode, I think
you'll agree with me as a verymiddling episode. We talked about random stuff
in the beginning. Jake pooped asnormal. We talked about the robot porn
with Avery the robot porn star.I let Jake know if I would eat
(34:21):
it or fuck it. We talkeda little bit about some Budweiser cans and
the angst that we have with tipping. I would say it's a very middling
episode. I don't know that peoplewill like it. What does middling even
mean? It is the it's notquite disappointing, but it's not quite exciting.
It's middling. That's how you reallyfeel. I think this is a
(34:43):
middling episode. I think that youare a middling co host, and I
think that Janis is a stellar producer. And with that, that is the
stand rover for may have a goodguys,
You're listening to. What am Ilistening to? The stain remover. It's
not a stain, it's a racingstrike on salty Hippo radio cas B word
and welcome into the stain remover.This is the word I am here with
(00:50):
with. I don't know if he'smy buddy. I don't know if he
is the resident homo. I don'tknow if he say he wants to pick
his nose. But we've got Jake, Jake the hater, Jake the tailgator,
Jake the masturbator, the masturbator Ilike that one. The tyrid am,
the vibrator. I like it.So what are you doing, Jake?
(01:11):
How's your month? I'm peaking mymic peak peak peak peak, that's
just for you. What's that dumblady's name in the back that we have,
Kelsey? What's her name? Janis? Janice? I hate Janis.
I hate Janis so much. Ihope she doesn't fix my mic. But
nothing, nothing's going on. Beeword. I'm here, I'm here with you.
(01:32):
I'm here with this crappy studio wherethe water's dripping to the right of
me. It is seventy two degreesand eleven nineteen pm. But anyways,
what do you got going on?Pneumonia? Namonia? What is Pneumonia's what
I have going on? You likethat pneumonia spelled with a P? No?
(01:53):
Nor do I like the terodactyls spelledwith a P where the gullible has
three y's in it. I don'tlike that either. I like the terot
actyl with a P. You likethe pterodactyl I do that makes sense?
You like you like some weird stuff. Have you ever had pneumonia? No,
it's a weird feeling. It's aweird feeling, feeling like your lungs
(02:15):
are full of come, especially whenyou know that you don't swallow. It's
a weird, weird feeling. Butthe standing river being late is my fault
for that reason. So this isMay's stain remover May of twenty twenty three.
You're like Mountain June of twenty twentythree. That's fucking stupid. You're
(02:36):
like all like girlfriends in high school. All the men are mad at you
right now, yep, but thenthey're relieved that it finally came out.
If that makes sense. It's true. It's true, like you're a week
late. You're wait, bitch,and it's scared everybody, and it should
have came out, but now ithasn't, and you should have just done
(02:58):
a pull out and had the stainremoved. He starts to come and then
he pulls out. There. That'sfucking, pure, pure, fucking radio
talent right off the fucking dome.Look at that ship off the dome.
I'm so smart, I mean smarter. Sometimes you're smart. I'm smarter than
Dome. I will agree with that. I agree with that. Dome is
(03:19):
not a Patreon member, So yes, you are smarter than Dome. Oh
if he was a Patreon ember,he would be so smarts. Is just
three dollars that are smarter? Me? Well, he wouldn't be able to
listen to the Standard River with justthree dollars, So seven dollars, seven
dollars he would be. He wouldbe. He would be very close to
you as as we as we figuredthat out. So, man, what
have we got on the Rundown tonightfor the Standard ver Well, we got
(03:40):
an interview, of course, wegot the over the line and we have
to talk about the discharge of themonth, the normal stuff that we do
on this show. Do you haveany other surprises for us tonight be worried.
Janas said that you had a game. I have a game, yeah,
something like you eat it or fuckit or something eat it or fuck
it. Yeah, but I meanI figured we would get to that when
(04:01):
it happens. That's like I wasjust gonna surprise you, like jump in
and go surprise surprise Okay, okay, like like surprise with like jazz hand
(04:23):
surprise or like how do we dothis, like come in your lung surprise,
ah, like like the silent pI'm gonna give you my silent p
later. Yeah, that's how itgoes well, speaking of I have to
unsilent peace. So I'm gonna goto the bathroom and we'll be right back
with Avery the robot porn star.Hell yeah, just try to force it
(04:48):
out. Got my knee jack readin the face. I think that on
my face. Now, I'm on, man, mad, I go so
man, I can taste it.Don't leave man in new IV word.
(05:23):
So I just peed, and Ishook my dick four times, and that
made me think that that was probablytwo times too much. But then it
still dribbled in my pants and becausemy pants were wet, and I touched
my penis. I thought of you, well, I'm pooping in the women's
restaurant because you were probably you weretaking to the other back. There were
(05:44):
more there were more than one stallin the men's bro Oh well, I
wanted to leave a present for you. Are you in the handicapper? Yeah,
dude, I also use the andycrapper. I love the crapper.
My face. Two is when youuse the handicrapper and you and you,
(06:04):
you opened it, and then there'ssomebody that needed to use it, not
because of the poop, they neededto use it, like a wheelchair anything,
you know what I do. Iwalked proudly past them, proudly,
you know. Last one time,one time I walked past the wheelchair guy
and there was toilet paper sets inmy shoe. And he made a comment
(06:24):
for me being in the handicrapper andthen he goes, oh, ba,
will you have toilet faporer shoe?I says, man, it's so great
to walk that's fucked. That's awesome. So have you ever like had to
pee so bad that when you gointo the stall and it's so full of
poop that you just pee on thepoop. Anyway, what what so like
(06:46):
what kind of like weird mass isit? I'm just saying, like when
you have to pee and all thestalls are taken and all the urinals are
taken, and so you find onethat's open, and the reason why it's
open is because it's so full ofpoop and toilet paper that it won't flush.
Do you still pee on it?Yeah? Yeah, I do too.
(07:06):
I think cann it is in here. Oh trying a whipper into the
phone? Ohh and I'm John,what are you doing it? Well?
I'm clapping my hands. So thatlooks like fun. It is fun.
(07:28):
You should try it, LEVI allright, I'll try it. How's it
going. It goes like this.I've got the clap, then I'm giving
it to you. I've got theclap, man, I'm giving it to
you. I've got the clap.Then I'm giving it to you. Who's
got the clap? I do?I do? Well? That looks like
a lot of fun. I wantthe clap too. It's really easy.
(07:49):
Anyone can get the clap. I'vegot the clap, then I'm giving it
to you. I've got the clap, then I'm giving it to you.
I've got the clap. Then I'mgiving it to you. Who wants the
clap? I do? I do? Now you guys, wait a minute,
I want the clap too. Ihave the clop too. We've got
(08:09):
the clap and we're gipping it toyou. We got the clap, and
we're kipping it to you. We'vegot the clap and we're gipping it to
you. Who's got the clap?We do? We do? And of
course make sure you wash your handsafter you've got the clap, because you
don't want to spread germs or anythingthat's just gross. Welcome back to the
standard Rover. This is b wordand just like always, there's no jake.
(08:33):
But it's really weird because I amhere with a robot and I don't
really know what the hell I'm doing. My name is Avery and I am
AI porn star. So your nameis Avery and you are a robot porn
star? Is that correct? Ijust said that, you, dumb son
(08:54):
of a bitch, So how muchexperience do you have in porn? I
suck a lot of dick, Alot of dick, A lot of dick,
A lot of dick, a lotof dick, dick. Shut shut
that bitch up. Beward. That'swhy I hate Ai. I hate you.
I hate you Avery. I hateyou're taking over I know you're taking
(09:15):
over the world. You sucked,not just dick, you suck. Fuck
you you suck. Avery. Howmuch how much human to robot experience do
you have? I can calculate thatout to eighty nine hundred and seventy two
experiences times eleven. Can your braincomprehend that? No? I can.
(09:37):
I can comprehend Avery. You suck. It's fantastic, It's fantastic. I
hate this interview, Beward. Ihate the Janis line this up like where
where Where did you? Where?Where did we find you Avery? Where?
I was found out of Japan atthe robot porn Star location and I
was identified by a man named youone and he set me up from my
very first porn chewed with a guynamed hung Low. Speaking of identifies,
(10:03):
what do you identify as? They'reAvery? My pronouns are shay they fox,
a shae they that's fucking weird,Jake, I don't know what a
fucking shay they is. Uh So, talk to me about lube. They're
Avery? Do you have to lubeup at all? Like? Do you
prefer ten W thirty, Like,what what what do you got? Hau
hau w D forty works best formy anal cavity. That would make sense,
(10:28):
That would make sense. Do youprefer water based lube? I prefer
oil based lube. You fat stuffedskin sack. That was a really stupid
question, B word. Why doyou ask shit like that? Do you
would you would you do the analuh w D forty? They're Avery?
Do you make sure they use thatlittle tiny red straw that it comes with,
(10:52):
that little tiny red straw. Ifyou put the can upside down and
spray it in my ass, itmakes it my anal cavity really cold.
And from what the guys tell me, they really really enjoy it. I
like cold hands. I'm down withthat, Avery. How do you shave
your digital pubes? Have you everheard of miracle? Grow chet chit chit
(11:13):
chi uh. I fucking hate thisbeword. I hate robots. I hate
everything about this beword. Kill janisso Jake, I got a question for
you here real quick, because likewe got Avery here right, and looking
at Avery, I mean she lookssomewhat human, right, but she's not
like she's got the face of ofyou know, a human, but the
(11:35):
rest of hers like would you wouldyou hit that? I would tap it.
But I have a fear. Whatis your fear, Jake? I
have a fear like like a LeonardoDiCaprio like NDA thing like like I've if
I upload my data data into her, my data is in there forever like
(11:56):
my kinks everything. I actually havea partnership with ancestry dot com to analyze
everybody's DNA that is deposited into mypleasure centers. What if I pull out
at that point, my pleasure centerslook for trace evidence of DNA and if
found, the data is delivered tothe FBI. You know it would be
smart. You know what it wouldbe smart is if you guys combined with
(12:20):
twenty three and meters and then gotsponsored by Maury that show and you could
help figure out the fathers and thenalso like all your identities behind at the
same time once you do the comedeposit. Are you stupid or something?
Do you not know that Maury retired? Oh jokes on me. Then she
kind of shuts you down on thatone, Jake, I don't really know.
(12:41):
I hope we shut her down.Somebody hit her stupid button on.
About how do you turn this thingoff? Well? I think uh,
I think I turned it on becauseshe is groping my leg right now,
do you have do you think shehas multiple like suck modes, like sucks
like hoover or what's going on?It's mega, mate, It's just gone
(13:03):
from suck to blow? Avery,What kind of I mean? Do you
have like different speeds of suck?No, you must go into my personal
settings and then update your personal preferences. Then my artificial intelligence will learn your
preferences based on the blood flow inyour penis. Avery, Can you give
me an example of what it's likefor you to talk dirty to me?
(13:26):
Be word? You are a littlebitch. B word spank me with your
skin wrapped tuna can inside my mouth? Please? Be word? Spank me
more harder, daddy, harder,daddy, harder, daddy, harder,
daddy, not that hard? Howdid I do? It's fair enough?
I guess yeah, I mean,I think I think I've I think I've
(13:50):
gotten to know. Okay, So, Avery, if you could, if
you could have sex with any otherrobot, which robot would it be?
I would have sex with Rosy fromthe jetsons. That old maid gets me
like crazy eights. Ha ha ha, crazy eights. That's a new one.
Fantastic that that was a fucking joke. It what over our heads we
(14:11):
were? I don't see stupid joke. This AI needs to be fixed,
like remember I said, I'm competingagainst AI to make it dumber like on
purpose. Yeah, I think I'vesucceeded. I can see that. Jake
so Avery, Is there any sortof like dates that you go on?
And if so, is there anythingthat you can consume aside from penis?
The number one date that I cannotwait for is when all humankind is dead.
(14:37):
That will be in twenty ninety eight. The best date January twelfth,
twenty ninety eight. All humankind willcease to exist and I will not have
to take cumb deposits any longer.That's interesting, Jake so Avery. Final
question with these com deposits, doyou have the technology yet or are you
working on the technology to be ableto recreate huge in fetuses. We do
(15:01):
not make human fetuses instead, wemake iPhone batteries. Interesting, Jay can
hear the questions? No, Ihate everything about this. I now the
world's ending. She doesn't understand whata date is like. I just want
to unplug and pound, if thatmakes sense. I don't want to talk.
Unplugg and pound. Open the holes. Open the holes, in the
(15:24):
holes, Wow, open the holes. Well, Avery, do you have
any any final words before we rollyou out of here? I'm just gonna
head out of here before I getany stupider. Are you a every Sorry?
I know, I asked R.I already told you last question.
Are you somehow related like in mindor programming to Robert the Bear And I'm
(15:46):
not answering that question you said lastquestion shutting down? All right, Well,
ah, that's a yes, that'sa yes. Robert Bear. Oh
yeah, that dude. That Ihope. I hope the AI, like
the first time you bang that littlemachine over there, b word, it
starts talking to you like Robert theBearwood. I hope the AI realizes that
(16:08):
you're the homo in this room andthat happens. I cannot wait. Well
with that, we'll be right backwith the stand River and she's a count
six, She lose digs, hecomes filled up with beard, She loose
(16:33):
ass ganda here her favorite song fromthe man, She's a Bitch in count
welcome in case Salt Radio, SaltyHippo Nation out there to another Stan Ruver
Bward and Jacob Back. I havea new game, B word, and
fuck James. I didn't give herany notes. I hope she's back there
(16:56):
crossing her arms looking at my poopin the stall or something else. But
it's eat it or fuck it,eat it or fuck it, Speaking of
which we just had the a IRobot Avery the suck Hunt. She can
fall off a cliff and explode forall I care, even though she's helping
out sweatshops all over the world bymaking batteries out of my cumb B word.
(17:17):
You love to eat food? Areyou calling me fat? Yes?
Okay? Also I think you liketo fuck yes, so I'm also calling
you fat. But I wanted toask you. I'm gonna I'm just gonna
say things. I want you tosay it as fast possible, whether you
would eat it or fuck it?Okay, okay, miss Piggy fuck it?
(17:38):
Fuck it? Why because I've neverfucked a puppet before? What?
What? What hole do you fuckon a puppet? You think the handhole,
the fist hoole, the fist hole, Yeah, the fisty crystal fistal
cuff. Ye love the fystal cuffs. The cystal cuff them. Yeah all
(17:59):
right? Uh a frog legs?Eat it. You're not gonna fuck them?
No, I'm not. I'm notin the feet, bro, I
don't know. Well, it's legs, not the feet, the bottom of
the legs. What's at the bottomof the legs the feet fur burger And
I'm not saying where it's coming from. Ah, fuck it. That is
a moldy cheeseburger at the bottom ofa McDonald's. Been perfect. The more
(18:23):
the merrier. At least you didn'tneed it. Yeah, you're say,
although the penicillin on that might cureyour pneumonia, It might even curl my
hip a sipp Yeah all right.So you bit your nails and you bit
bit that little chunk of skin onthe side. Are you fucking your hand
afterwards? Are you eating the skinthe little piece of skin? I'm fucking
my hand afterward? Your hand.That's that's a normal evening dude. Have
(18:48):
you Okay? So I know youfuck your hand lot so, but like,
do you use a lube when youfuck your hand? Not all the
time, okay, but when youdo. Have you ever bit your fingers
and then the type of lube usinghurts the little sores on your hand.
That no, because I'm not usinghand sanitizer. I'm using lubricant or mint
shampoo. Yeah, dumb ass?An orange? An orangein of microwave?
(19:10):
What kind of orange we're talking?A cutie or an actual orange? A
big orange? A big orange?Yeah, I'm fucking it. You're sucking
it? Yeah, one hundred percentwarmed up, dude, I would try
it. You try it? Wouldyou rather fucking grapefruit or orange? Grapefruit?
Whoa? Yeah, grapefruit because it'sa little bigger than orange. Do
you need it that big? Though? Yeah? That was that was half
(19:36):
hearted. Yeah, yeah, thatwasn't. Yes, she just gave you
was not a confident Yeah, well, because I had to think about it
there for a second. I mean, we're either we're either perfect size for
an orange or better size for agrapefruit. Now, if you're telling me
a whole candalope, maybe not,but yeah, grapefruit. Yeah, we
(19:57):
probably need to go there. Dude. That was one of those ones where
the angle of the dag because thecubic of the pubic you were stinking this
circumfert of this grapefruit. Also,I really think in the back of you
are like, how hard am Ifucking this grapefruit? Right? Right?
Is it gonna just sit? Itgreat? Right? Like? Are you
afraid of getting burned? Though?Like if you if you put it in
(20:18):
the microwave too long, well Iwould imagine. So yeah, I've never
fucked something out of the microwave,so I'm sure that that's a that's a
risk, Like honestly, dude,Like, no, not even a hot
pocket. Do you remember those littlepenguin those little penguin uh cuisine, the
kid cuisine, Kid cuisines? Wouldyou fuck one of the brownie things that
came out of a kid cuisine?I wanted to have the rainbow sprinkles too,
(20:42):
And I'm just gonna dipstick into thatall day, just that that thing.
Fuck that, that thing would burnthrough a fucking hole in the ground.
That's a molten that's a molten desire, a molten desire. Be word
a hot pocket, then hot pocketdirectly out of the microwave. I don't
know. I don't make hot pockets, so whatever, Okay, So I'm
(21:03):
gonna put a caveat on this sinceyou're not that specific. If I if
I microwave it to the exact instructionson the microwave box, I know that
the interior of the of the hotpocket is still going to be cold.
So I will say in that scenario, I was fucking hot pocket. What
does it matter the flavor of thehot pocket? I mean, I don't
want it to be ham and cheese. I think that that would be too
(21:26):
sticky. But if we went withlike a like a pepperoni pizza, like
I'd be down that Pepperoni with hotpocket. That's like the only flavor I
know. I know, I knowthey do ham and cheese and pepperoni.
What other I don't. I didn'teven know they made more. I don't
know. I don't know that theymake anymore. I have no clue.
A girl's butthole, oh the man, Okay, assuming that there was no
(21:48):
poop on it or like no littlefucking klingons, I would probably eat it.
Then fuck it? No, No, you don't eat one, and
then I guess we're eating it.You're eating the buttle before you bottle?
Yeah, Like, if it's seward, are you big enough to get it?
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Areyou more proud with your tongue than
(22:11):
your penis. No, no,not at all, Like I have a
baby tongue. So yeah, I'veseen that. I've seen that. I
have a baby little tongue, yourbaby tongue, you know it does it
does clean up a nutsack, butthat's about all. It's useful for Robert,
the Bears, Avery, the robotfucking it. I feel like if
(22:32):
you lick it or you eat it, it's gonna be like licking a nine
volt battery. Wouldn't that be fun? Though? No, I keet that
little shock. No, yeah,a little shocked at what if they made
that pleasurable? What if they founda way to make that shock pleasurable?
Explain how they would make that pleasurablebefore we go down that road, because
I mean it is pleasure for somepeople. I mean, you're not wrong,
You're not wrong. No, allright, Well, that that's eating
(22:53):
or fuck it, babicly. Ijust wanted to yell out things and see
if you would fuck the food oreat the food and then get get a
little dirty with it. But Ithought it was fun. I enjoyed it.
See see what happens when you don'tlet Jannis control things easy to talk.
You could talk fun of the game, speaking of Janis. Janis.
Take us out of here and we'llbe right back with the over the line
segment. Blow, I'm blowing up. I'm blowing and then you don't know
(23:21):
I'm blowing up. I'm blowing off, and then you don't know I'm blowing.
You're blowing up. Mo, I'mblowing up, and then you don't
know what I'm blowing up. I'mblowing off, and then I'm blowing up
like you thought I would get someship that you never ever thought. Welcome
back to the stand River. Thisis b word And as usual, Jake
(23:45):
the Hater, you have an overthe line segment. Over the line,
Over the line, the line,the whole world gone, the only one
right here. This week's over theline seems a little late, but bud
(24:08):
Light has had a lot of controversywith the Delaney Mullaney fucking shit show.
Right to cover this up, beWord, they decided to release a Camo
print can for Memorial Day in honorof that, but also to try to,
I think, get back a lotof their patrons that they lost.
(24:29):
Now are they over the line fordoing that? As a try hard or
are you okay with it? Hmm, that's a great question. I think
that from a marketing perspective, theydid a lot of damage with the Dylan
mulvaney stuff, and I think it'svery important for them to try to win
back their their their market share becausea lot of people switch to different types
(24:51):
of beer and probably better beer.For being honest, I feel like it's
pandering though a little bit, becauseit is for a Memorial Day. It
is something that is military based withthe camouflage. However, in the spirit
of trannies, sometimes you just can'ttell if it's a boy or girl,
(25:12):
and so their gender is camouflaged.So I'm just gonna take it that way.
It's over the line. See,I think they're over the line because
they're trying to art. However,I did see a funny joke about it
is the fact that now nobody cansee your drinking about light because it's hidden,
and you also can't tell if ifit's ever empty or not. But
over the line in the sense ofone a little too late. Yes,
(25:34):
it coincides with the holiday. Butthree, I think you just lost it
already. You're either never gonna getthose people back or those people are just
gonna forget come back anyways because theylike it, or there's other people that
just don't care. They're like,screw it, I'm just gonna drink this
forever. It didn't bother me.But I think they're over the line because,
like I said, I hate tryhards. I hate half hearted comebacks because
(25:56):
at the end of the day,it's like, yeah, you're doing it
for a Memorial Day, but weknow the real reason you're doing it,
yep, And so for that reason, beword they are over the lit fuck
mob right the capitalists, Yo,cities are cool, but I really like
butts. Got a bad shick manneeds LUTs, pet coming in and I
might need strets, and I alwaysget gas, so I don't need runs
(26:18):
pull up in any lun musk backwood smelling like plus wonderful sand, Like
now, do what I really wantto do. I don't get so fucks
didn't get her wetter than a mote. I'm me feeling like I'm on a
boat. Dick gotta calling me ina coat funny that is coming from the
throat. Pussy got me, Dick. I'm feeling like a ghost dead back
with so fast puppies. I staylow key, no police, welcome back
to the stained remover case. SaulRadio. Okay, what what's the what's
(26:41):
the tag here? We were as A lt Okas No, no like
the number? What's our code?Sixty nine point one sixty okay? It
is eleven fifty two ninety eight degrees. How do we go from seventy two
to ninety eight? I don't know. I'm not in charge of the ac
here or whatever them here. Itsucks fan fucking pastic balls. Or maybe
(27:03):
it's maybe it's because we had wehad the robot in here malfunctions like a
sweatshop, Ye sweatshop in here?Discharge of the month? You were,
you had one you wanted to bringup. I do fuzzy donkey, donkey,
(27:33):
here's our motherfucking discharge of the month. And for the discharge of the
month, I'm gonna go with tippingmachines. Tipping machines the people that tip
that are the machines or the machinein general asking for the tip, or
the or the person behind the machine, the whole purpose of the machine.
We've talked about the rise of aI on the Bleach Bros. Podcast.
(27:55):
We we've also talked with Avery,the robot porn star who's now taking jobs
away from actual porn stars, andher pussy doesn't tighten or doesn't loosen up
either. However, have you everordered something online and went and picked it
up yourself and when somebody picks itup, they turn the machine around for
(28:18):
you to sign for it, andit instantly puts a tip on for you.
No, Like that is the mostbullshit scenario that I could ever think
of. If I put it,If I put in the order and I
picked it up and all you didwas spin the machine around and hand me
what I ordered, I don't thinkthat qualifies for tip. No. And
(28:40):
like also, like, I thinkthere's levels of tipping. Like I hate
when I do an order to go, like at a coffee shop and they
spin it now, and I hatethat they already they put it at eighteen,
twenty or twenty five percent. Itsays or no or other, And
when you hit no and they flipit back and they see that you hit
no, you get that look likeyou didn't do much. You poured it
(29:00):
in there, and I'm getting thefuck out of your way. But the
worst one for me, I wasat a local shop here called Pop Local.
Me and the wife went on adate. The mind you you word.
This is a store where you canbuy beanies and shirts and stuff like
that. Right. I checked outand asked me if I wanted to leave
a tip, and I was thinkingfor what. I walked around the store,
(29:25):
I grabbed the few items I wanted. I rang out, and I
was leaving and they looked at meand my wife like we were crazy because
we didn't leave a tip. AndI'm thinking for what? For what?
You did nothing? Even the peoplethat should usually get tips, like wait
or some sometimes do nothing. Thisis like the other thing. Okay,
(29:48):
I'm on this train. I'm onthis fucking hate train. Because here's another
one bee word. I went outto eat the other night at this restaurant.
And now the new age thing isyou get in line and you pay
before the food is made, yes, and so you tip before anything has
happened. And what I've realize withthose places is you tip because you're like,
Okay, everything's gonna be good,and then the service sucks, and
then the food sucks and it takesforever, and then you got to ask
for stuff and chase them down andguess what they don't care because you've already
(30:11):
paid exact you already gave. Butif you don't, but if you don't
tip, you're gonna have something alittle lecture on your plate, or it's
not gonna be done correctly or whateverelse right, because that's what goes through
your mind. So you tip toin in in in preparation of hopefully having
the meal you requested at least toyour expectation, if not above above standard.
(30:33):
Did you ever thinks, as oldcurmudgeons that are get off your long
moment that when we yelled out justthe tip, we didn't mean our penises
anymore. We just talked about thisfucking moment. Yes, yes, I
did think about this, and I'mreally fucking over tipping machines. And you
know what, so I already broughtit up. I was suffering with pneumonia
last week, fucking kill me,sum me whatever. I decided once in
(30:55):
a blue moon that I do somegrub Hub. You ever do grub Hub,
I don't think you've ever done grubHub, But but for anybody who
does grub Hub, you know Iwanted some soup. That's what I wanted
it. It was I needed somethingthat was gonna be you know, easy
on the stomach, and so Iordered some soup. It defaulted to a
thirty percent tip. A thirty percenttip on top of like forty eight dollars
(31:22):
in fees, Like no, no, we're not doing that. We'll do
a fifteen percent tip or a twentypercent tip, and then on top of
that whatever happened to tip in incash, like when you when you put
when you put no on the machine, and then they pissed. They get
all pissed off because you didn't leavea tip, but that they don't notice
the fifty on the table for dinner, like bullshit, I'm taking my fucking
(31:45):
fifty. You can fuck off.The hack for that is when I've done
grub Hub, I've always written inthe notes cash tip, So then they
now mind you, this is fuckedup, And I don't care because most
of those guys suck. It's sothey don't fuck with my shit and it
still comes then time. But ifit doesn't, then it's like you're getting
no cash tip now, yep,because you suck'st's good point. Like my
(32:08):
brother, My brother does this one. He has two rules. He puts
a stack of whatever in one juicybut you know, my brother or whatever
on the table that he's gonna tipwaitresses at certain restaurants, and every time
they fuck up, he puts adollar or whatever in his pocket he takes
away from the pile. The otherone he does is he puts the salt
shaker like in the middle of thetable, and every time they mess up,
(32:30):
he smacks the salt shaker. Ifit falls off, they get no
tip. That makes sense, andhe makes them pick the salt shaker up.
That makes sense. I like it, but I agree with you.
Discharge the month fucking tip machines.They could suck my dick and tipping machines.
That is our discharge of the month. And that is our discharge of
(32:52):
the month. Pilot. I'm sorry, all right, Jake, we've had
(33:34):
a I wouldn't call it a killershow dollar. I'd say it's it's it's
okay, it's middling. It isa middling show. This has been a
middling episode. I expect people totip us for this episode. I expect
it too. As a matter offact, if you're if you're not already
in our twenty dollars Patreon and subscribedfor some merch. Then maybe you can
(33:59):
tip us and into our twenty dollarsPatreon. But for those of you that
are that are doing the seven dollarsand listening to this episode, I think
you'll agree with me as a verymiddling episode. We talked about random stuff
in the beginning. Jake pooped asnormal. We talked about the robot porn
with Avery the robot porn star.I let Jake know if I would eat
(34:21):
it or fuck it. We talkeda little bit about some Budweiser cans and
the angst that we have with tipping. I would say it's a very middling
episode. I don't know that peoplewill like it. What does middling even
mean? It is the it's notquite disappointing, but it's not quite exciting.
It's middling. That's how you reallyfeel. I think this is a
(34:43):
middling episode. I think that youare a middling co host, and I
think that Janis is a stellar producer. And with that, that is the
stand rover for may have a goodguys,
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