May 18, 2025 • 26 mins
In this episode of Bleeding Daylight, Rodney Olsen interviews Tanya Prince, a Maxwell Certified coach and author of "Designed for Purpose: Discovering God's Daily Direction." Tanya shares her journey from apparent success - complete with corporate career, ministry leadership, and family life - to a profound wilderness season that ultimately led to spiritual rebirth. After experiencing divorce and job loss, Tanya discovered that God never wastes our pain, and that even our darkest moments can become pathways to authentic purpose.
Tanya's four-week reflective journal helps readers recognize God's presence in their daily lives and understand how He weaves our unique experiences into His greater plan. Through vulnerable storytelling and practical insights, she offers hope to those feeling distant from God or trapped in performance-based faith. Tanya's mission through Green Vine Coaching is to help others remain connected to the true vine, producing fruit that reflects God's design rather than worldly definitions of success.
WEBLINKS Designed for Purpose Website Designed for Purpose Instagram Designed for Purpose Facebook Green Vine Coaching
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
This is Bleeding Daylight with your host, Rodney Olsen.
Welcome.
I'm so glad you've joined me for another story of hope on Bleeding Daylight.
(00:28):
Dozens more episodes are waiting for you at bleedingdaylight.net.
Please share episodes through social media or word of mouth.
When life goes in unexpected directions, we can view our trials, our wilderness seasons and our struggles as unproductive times that have held us back.
(00:48):
Today's guest believes that even when things aren't going as planned, nothing is wasted.
Today I'm joined by Tanya Prince, a Maxwell Certified coach and author whose journey through personal transformation led her to founding Greenvine Coaching.
(01:12):
After years of success in corporate finance and ministry work, Tanya experienced a period of profound change that reshaped her entire approach to faith, purpose and personal growth.
Her story of rediscovering her identity and faith culminated in her book, Designed for Purpose, Discovering God's Daily Direction, where she helps others find their own path to authentic living by aligning their life goals with their God-given purpose.
(01:41):
Tanya, welcome to Bleeding Daylight.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
I mentioned the period of profound change in your life and I'm keen to explore that more.
But first, can you take me back to the time before that, the time where it seemed like life was an overwhelming success for you?
Yeah, exactly.
(02:01):
I had followed the rules.
I had grown up in a rural community and my parents really instilled in me to work hard, be successful, go to college, really live that American dream.
I set it all up.
I worked hard.
I ran for a D1 college, cross-country and track, went to school, got my degree, had a great career at a large Fortune 500 company, had my MBA, was doing a lot of ministry work, leading women's ministry, leading kids' ministry.
(02:31):
Had my two children, was married.
Everything just seemed like, yep, I followed the formula and here it is.
This is the dream.
Certainly on the outside, it's looking very, very successful.
Was that the same inside or was there starting to be whispers of this isn't all it's cracked up to be?
(02:51):
Well, I distinctly remember sitting in my MBA class and a young woman at my company was sitting next to me and she looked at me and she said, I'm just amazed by you.
You're a superwoman.
And for a moment I thought, I am superwoman.
Wow, I am.
And then I thought, oh, wait a minute.
No, I'm dying.
(03:11):
This is stressing me out.
I can't keep all these balls in the air.
I've got two little kids.
I don't know why in the heck I'm trying to do these MBA classes.
One day shortly thereafter, I had just had my son.
He was an infant and I was on my way to pick up my books for my class.
I just stopped.
I'm like, I can't do this.
I cannot do this.
(03:33):
And I turned around and I went home and I dropped all my classes.
I did finish the program later, but I just dropped all my classes.
And that was really the first time where I realized that I could not be superwoman, nor should I desire to be superwoman.
It's a myth.
It really is.
I didn't want to do it all.
I don't want to do it all now.
There's a different do it all, so to speak.
There's things that are far more fulfilling than living that formulaic life that looks like success.
(03:59):
And yet this is what the world applauds.
We applaud when someone seemingly can have it all and do it all and achieve success.
And so I guess that would have caused a bit of a disconnect for you as well, thinking, well, am I now becoming a failure?
What do I do?
Where did it lead you?
At that time, my marriage really began to become under a lot of stress.
(04:23):
I was doing more and more things alone with my kids.
I felt very dysfunctional.
I felt very disconnected, kind of like when everything looks good on the surface, but underneath it's just crumbling.
I was still showing up to all of my things at church, but I just really began to feel that things that were starting to crash down.
So in 2020, that's really when my marriage fell apart and coincidentally COVID.
(04:48):
I just walked away.
I just walked away from feeling like I had to keep striving.
I walked away from church.
I walked away from God.
I couldn't pray.
I didn't pray.
I felt like I was done at that point in time.
Even before that walking away from all those things and the marriage starting to fall apart, was there anyone externally that was starting to see the warning signs or were you very good at keeping that hidden?
(05:16):
Oh, I was very good at keeping that hidden.
I think we all tend to be, especially and unfortunately, I think in the faith community, we can kind of live in this place of if I'm a strong Christian, if I have a strong faith, then everything is okay.
But I did have one friend.
I had an amazing friend who was walking along with me the whole time, even when I didn't want to listen or take her advice.
(05:40):
She never had judgment.
She just always had words of encouragement.
I call her my iron sharpens iron sister.
And I think we need those people, men and women in our lives who are going to walk with you.
They're going to help to guide you.
And even when you don't listen, they're going to be ready to help pick you up.
So you have this seemingly amazing life.
You felt the disconnect within yourself.
(06:02):
And so you started to pull away from all those things.
Where did that lead?
Well, it led to divorce.
And then shortly thereafter, my job ended up getting reorganized.
What I thought was my amazing dream job no longer existed.
I had moved into an apartment and I no longer had that great career that seemed to be a shiny example of the American dream and success.
(06:26):
And I was just kind of feeling at rock bottom there with nothing to speak of, it felt like.
And how long did that period last where you were seemingly in the wilderness?
I would say between the time of my marriage falling apart and kind of that point in time and losing my job, it was about two years.
One thing after another kind of crumbling away.
(06:49):
And it was in that spring of 2021 that my career had shifted and ended at that time.
But shortly thereafter, near my birthday in May, I just felt like the Lord just grabbed me.
Just like grabbed me back, whether I wanted to be brought back or not.
And I just felt like He rescued me.
And what felt like shame, what felt like just failure, turned into grace and mercy.
(07:16):
And I can't truly explain it other than a supernatural intervention in my life.
It was like suddenly things were clear.
It was suddenly like I could hear the words of my friend who had been walking alongside of me.
It turned out that losing my job was a huge blessing to be able to spend that time healing from the choices that I made, healing from divorce, rediscovering that my worth is not my paycheck or my career, or in my case, being a Division I runner in the past, how fast I can run.
(07:48):
It turned into a blessing where the Lord just brought me very close back to Him.
In the faith community, we do seem to have this understanding that God forgives all, that we don't need to carry shame, we don't need to carry guilt, because He's carried all of that.
And yet, we still, for some reason, feel like we need to keep performing.
(08:09):
So, I guess for you, it was that understanding that, yes, what I've been sharing with others in ministry, what I've known to be the truth all along, is actually true for me.
When that finally came home to rest for you, it must have been an enormous relief.
It was.
It was when we can take off the mask, right, and really realize who the people are that are waiting there, that in many cases have always been there.
(08:39):
I think maybe through that shame, we're unwilling to share that with people.
But what was interesting was, as I began to talk more about my experiences and my challenges, suddenly it came out of the woodwork.
So many people struggling with the same things.
Women struggling in their marriages, but still serving in the church.
Things that we can't control seem to spiral the more we hold on and control what we can.
(09:05):
And it's almost like I was doing more and more, particularly in ministry and in my faith, almost as a substitute or to try to make up for that.
And I began to hear about that from many other women.
I suppose one little sideline there is your friend that kept trying to share with you, kept trying to bring you back.
(09:26):
You ignored it.
And so often if we are trying to share with someone, we think, well, they're not listening.
I'll just give up.
How important is it for us when we see someone in a difficult place to say, well, whether they're responding or not, I need to keep speaking into their life?
I honestly think there's only a handful of those people in our life.
(09:46):
It's a gift.
And I think we're in this busy life.
We may not even see that, honestly, what's happening to other people.
I think we've lost depth of friendship.
I was so lucky to have that friend walking alongside of me.
But I think it's something we need to cultivate more honestly, focusing more on relationships, on going into that depth.
Think of how many people we consider in our friend group, but really probably have no idea what's happening in their life.
(10:12):
You started noticing that what you had been through was the same for so many others, different experiences, but the same thing underlying it of feeling like you're losing control and so grasping at what control you have.
Is that what prompted you to start thinking, how can I help others?
How can I serve others who are in the same place?
(10:35):
Not control, because this really was the Lord kind of stepping in and showing me how to hear from Him again.
Because prior to things falling apart, I'm like, what am I doing?
What's the point?
I'm doing all of these things.
I'm serving and where is God?
Where is He in what's happening right now?
And so really it was coming back and having Him say to me, I'm here, I've always been here.
(11:00):
You're just not seeing me.
Your ears aren't open to hear me.
Your eyes aren't open to see me.
It was really my own personal experience and just wanting to share that.
I think maybe what the Lord really did with me was take away that performance orientation and really replaced it with a serving, a true serving orientation.
(11:22):
I think serving can become striving in performance, but truly saying, I want you to share with other people what you've learned and what I've done.
So I did end up creating a journal for myself.
And now I just recently had that published.
And again, the Lord said, this is not an entrepreneurial thing.
It doesn't matter to me how many books I sell.
(11:44):
It's about, can people benefit from this?
Can people who feel maybe far from God grow close to Him again, see Him, see that He's never left them?
So as you started walking alongside, especially other women, what was the response that you were getting from those women who had felt trapped like you had and were suddenly realizing that God wanted to speak to them, that God wanted to be close to them as well?
(12:12):
Relief.
This word is thrown around too much, being seen.
But I feel like that's just kind of a new thing we say, but it's really being seen by the Father and that depth of friendship that people have been lacking.
So I just received a ton of encouragement in terms of, wow, you need to do this.
This can help so many people.
(12:32):
This is really speaking to identity as well.
So as we think about purpose, as we think about how the Lord is intervening in our life, how He's showing up for us, where in places we may not even see, it's about who does He see we are?
How does the Father see us?
Just a ton of connection with women.
Every time I talk about the journal or I share what I'm doing, there's a lot of people who are really excited to help continue to share it.
(13:00):
One of the things I'm very aware of is that these events that you're talking about are only relatively recent.
So I know that you must still be walking this path yourself, still receiving God's healing.
How important is it for us to not think that we need to get everything perfect before we start to look around for those who are perhaps even just a few steps behind us and encourage them and say, hey, I found something I want to share with you.
(13:27):
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That's a big one.
That's so hard because it's so hard to be vulnerable, especially if we've got a pile of shame sitting there.
Satan's telling us, don't share this with anybody.
They're going to reject you, especially if people who have gone through divorce or are feeling nervous about opening themselves up again.
Maybe their friends left them during that difficult period of time.
I had friends leave me, particularly during divorce.
(13:49):
It's who's in the right, who's in the wrong.
It can be very, very vulnerable to be hopeful again or to be willing to engage with other people at all.
So I think to me, it just keeps coming back to how do we use the things that have occurred in our life to reach out to people when they say that they're fine or just dig a little deeper or just develop those friendships that evolve over time.
(14:14):
I think people are yearning to be authentic.
They're yearning to be able to show their true self and friendship.
But it takes time.
It doesn't happen overnight.
On to the book, Designed for Purpose, Discovering God's Daily Direction.
And I suppose it is important that we are seeking daily direction.
We pray in the Lord's Prayer, give us this day our daily bread.
(14:35):
And it recognizes our need to consistently go back to God, not, okay, God, I've got the blueprint.
I'm fine for the next few years.
How important is it that we are checking in with God regularly, daily or even hourly or each moment?
Yeah, I kind of view life now as there's a beautiful, amazing roadmap.
(14:57):
But I only get to see a couple of steps at a time.
And the Lord says that I have good plans for you, right?
So trusting that He has a plan for you.
And that's really kind of what I'm focusing in the journal.
It's a four-week reflective journal.
And it's focusing into the fact that the Lord has designed us.
He's known us.
He's breathed life into us.
(15:17):
He knit us together in our mother's womb.
His fingerprints are on us.
We're each unique.
And He's going to use all of that for an incredible plan over our lifetime.
But we know from Scripture that it's His plan, not our plan.
We always want to make it our plan.
When I think about walking hand in hand with Jesus, I joke that it's like the former me.
(15:38):
And maybe sometimes still a little bit of that performance driven.
I want to grab Jesus' hand and knock Him out of the way and say, let's go!
Or pull Him along and say, let's go!
Rather than walk truly at His pace.
It really is that little bit by bit because He's got such a good plan.
And if we're patient and we wait and we seek Him out, He will answer.
(15:58):
That's another critical piece throughout all of Scripture.
He will answer every time we seek Him.
Sometimes it's not the answer we want.
Sometimes it's a redirection, but it's always good.
And we trust that what He has for us is better than what we would have chosen.
We're talking here about finding our God-given purpose.
(16:19):
I'm wondering if there are people that really at the start of their journey, it's not even a matter of saying, okay, what is my God-given purpose?
But do you really believe that God has a purpose for even me?
There are people that would doubt that God even cares for them.
You mentioned before about God seeing us.
There's that doubt that, yeah, sure, God sees everyone else but not me.
(16:40):
Is there that same thing for some people of, yes, I know God has a purpose for some people, but I doubt that it's for me?
Yeah, and that's actually the beauty of the journal is when you step back and begin to just reflect on your life every day, you can see that He is showing up for you.
When you're thinking about a conversation you had, when maybe circumstances have shifted and woven together, things that you thought were a dead end suddenly become an open door, it's that daily reflection where you can begin to see Him.
(17:12):
So it's cultivating, even for people who may not be believers, so cultivating a mindset of pausing and seeing.
And I really believe that if we step back and we are looking at our day, we're going to see God everywhere in our day.
But it can be very hard in terms of that mindset when we begin to fall into self-loathing or we're falling into, why would God care about me?
(17:37):
Like, He cares about the person over there.
I can see all their stuff, I can see it on social media, but that's also not real life, right?
So I think that this is a useful tool for people who are maybe even way early on that path or even young people who are just learning how God has even made them.
Oftentimes we feel that when we come to a fork in the road and we need to take a particular direction, we press into God and everything in the past is wasted.
(18:04):
And yet, what I'm hearing from you is even those dark times, even the difficult times, God can still use them for His glory.
Has that been your experience?
Yeah, 100%.
And in a strange way, the things that I thought were the highs in my life, looking back now, I'm like, wow, that was pretty empty, actually.
(18:24):
And now I'm rediscovering the simple, true, good things that He has for me.
And I'm so happy that at this point in my life, after kind of starting out, I'm four and a half years after divorce and I'm newly engaged.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Even just these circumstances that can be used for good, and God never wastes pain, He never wastes our suffering, it's always for our growth.
(18:52):
And I think that we need to step into that pain and suffering and the authenticity of our stories to share with other people.
Because I think we're going to learn that there's so many more people in the same place or similar places that have been hiding it and are yearning to be able to have that released and to have those wounds healed and we can become more connected through that.
(19:14):
I'm wondering if there have been perhaps people that have either read the book or you've been coaching that are real standout stories for you, where you've been able to see the way that God has turned their life around.
Now, obviously, you are not wanting to get in the way of anyone's privacy, but are there stories that you can tell of those whose lives have been changed because you've been able to share from your own vulnerability?
(19:38):
Yeah, I think of a person that I talked to for a little bit who was just coming out of some similar circumstances, I think it really comes down to the, where is God in things?
And I feel that when we're able to really pause and see Him, it's going to prevent us from walking away.
And I think that in this instance, being able to connect with somebody, being able to pause and look and examine our circumstances has resulted in women who rather than go down that path of walking away are choosing to see where their father is leading them.
(20:14):
Right now, I am co-leading a single mom's prayer group.
That's just been a huge blessing.
And again, the circumstances that I've walked through now help me to be able to feel and understand the circumstances that those women are in and kind of the yearning of their heart, the challenges that they're facing.
And I'm able to help point them back to, don't give up, don't give up.
(20:37):
He's still here.
He's still holding your hand.
Lean into holding His hand.
Don't let it go.
I'm wondering if there are some of the people that you were interacting with back in the time when it looked like you had it all together, were performing well at work and all of that.
Are there some of those people from those business days that you've been able to connect with and share some of your story?
(21:00):
It's interesting how circumstances come back together.
So as I've been on LinkedIn and sharing what I'm doing now, there's definitely people who have reached out and have been in similar circumstances of having gone through, particularly work transition.
That's probably been the greatest connection in the open door where it's, I experienced this at this point in time.
(21:22):
All of these other challenges came with it.
And this is really a way for me to, especially like in a professional environment, we're not sharing deep things like that most often, right?
At our jobs, at our careers.
So there's been people I come back around and I'm like, I would have had no idea.
I would have never guessed.
So be able to come back around and share in the journal and to be able to connect at a level of faith that we otherwise would have never been able to connect with in the past.
(21:49):
It certainly sounds like one of the big keys towards freedom is that understanding of what you two and understanding that someone else has faced this.
For someone who might be listening at the moment and they're not ready to share their story publicly in the way that you are sharing it, but they need to find someone to share a part of that story with.
(22:12):
They don't feel connected in that way with people around them.
Where should they first look?
They should first look themselves to God.
Ask the Lord, bring me people, bring me the right people that I can become connected with.
I always say start with your church or seek out a church.
Get connected to people.
(22:32):
Open your eyes for people who are empathetic, who are responsive, who are willing, and you can see, want to know more, that are willing to share themselves.
People who are willing to be vulnerable often are those people who you can connect with and go deeper with.
You've mentioned that God gives us all a plan and oftentimes He's just giving us a sneak peek day by day by day.
(22:56):
But sometimes He'll give us a wider view.
Have you seen any wider view from God of a direction that He's wanting you to continue along?
Yeah, so it was interesting.
I'm sitting in my office and behind me is the verse John 15, 5.
And one morning I woke up, just in my mind, the Lord had spoken to me right before I woke up.
(23:19):
Green vine strategies, green vine coaching, green vine.
And so I am the vine, you are the branches, right?
Remain in me.
That has become one of my key life verses, and that's really what I want to help women, and I want to help all people live, is to grow close to Him, remain in Him, produce fruit, because that's part of our purpose, that's part of our dream.
(23:41):
We'll produce our best fruit.
We'll be living in our true joy, as the way I see it.
We'll be thriving.
And it's not about status.
It's not about what you amass.
It's not about the symbols that go with that.
It's that true inside joy of bearing that fruit.
So that in particular has been a space that He's brought to me.
And it's taken time.
(24:01):
Things don't happen overnight, but everything for me is around green vine.
In the cover of my journal, you'll see when it says designed for purpose, it's just that little plant.
I know the Lord has more for me to do in this space.
I'm going to go from this little seedling into that luscious vine, and the Lord has shown me that.
So there's more tools, there's more books that will be coming, because I really want to take what I've learned professionally in a space of my career was in continuous improvement and change management.
(24:29):
And He's redirecting those skill sets to people, to help people through change, through growth.
I used to work in organizational transformation.
Now I'm moving into the business of people transformation.
So that's really where the Lord has called me.
So redirecting those skills.
So kind of back toward, you know, all things are weaving together for a purpose.
(24:49):
So He's taking that career I had, He's taking those skills I've learned, but He's redirecting them to what's really going to truly bear fruit and to help people and to change lives.
I'm sure that there are people listening at the moment who think, I need to make a connection with Tanya.
I need to find out more about this.
Where is the easiest place for people to find you?
(25:11):
Greenvinecoaching.com or anywhere on the social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, Greenvine Coaching is the handle.
My book, Designed for Purpose, Discovering God's Daily Direction, is available everywhere books are sold.
So those are the best ways to connect.
And again, that book is a journal that takes people through a bit of a journey over four weeks.
It's not something that is a big weighty manual that you have to wade through, but just a way to guide people to start to discover what God has in plan for them.
(25:42):
So I will definitely put links in the show notes at bleedingdaylight.net for your website, but also for the book so that people can get that and go on that four-week journey themselves.
But Tanya, I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and thank you for your time on Bleeding Daylight today.
Thank you so much.
(26:02):
Thank you for listening to Bleeding Daylight.
Please help us to shine more light into the darkness by sharing this episode with others.
For further details and more episodes, please visit bleedingdaylight.net.
Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
This is Bleeding Daylight with your host, Rodney Olsen.
Welcome.
I'm so glad you've joined me for another story of hope on Bleeding Daylight.
(00:28):
Dozens more episodes are waiting for you at bleedingdaylight.net.
Please share episodes through social media or word of mouth.
When life goes in unexpected directions, we can view our trials, our wilderness seasons and our struggles as unproductive times that have held us back.
(00:48):
Today's guest believes that even when things aren't going as planned, nothing is wasted.
Today I'm joined by Tanya Prince, a Maxwell Certified coach and author whose journey through personal transformation led her to founding Greenvine Coaching.
(01:12):
After years of success in corporate finance and ministry work, Tanya experienced a period of profound change that reshaped her entire approach to faith, purpose and personal growth.
Her story of rediscovering her identity and faith culminated in her book, Designed for Purpose, Discovering God's Daily Direction, where she helps others find their own path to authentic living by aligning their life goals with their God-given purpose.
(01:41):
Tanya, welcome to Bleeding Daylight.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
I mentioned the period of profound change in your life and I'm keen to explore that more.
But first, can you take me back to the time before that, the time where it seemed like life was an overwhelming success for you?
Yeah, exactly.
(02:01):
I had followed the rules.
I had grown up in a rural community and my parents really instilled in me to work hard, be successful, go to college, really live that American dream.
I set it all up.
I worked hard.
I ran for a D1 college, cross-country and track, went to school, got my degree, had a great career at a large Fortune 500 company, had my MBA, was doing a lot of ministry work, leading women's ministry, leading kids' ministry.
(02:31):
Had my two children, was married.
Everything just seemed like, yep, I followed the formula and here it is.
This is the dream.
Certainly on the outside, it's looking very, very successful.
Was that the same inside or was there starting to be whispers of this isn't all it's cracked up to be?
(02:51):
Well, I distinctly remember sitting in my MBA class and a young woman at my company was sitting next to me and she looked at me and she said, I'm just amazed by you.
You're a superwoman.
And for a moment I thought, I am superwoman.
Wow, I am.
And then I thought, oh, wait a minute.
No, I'm dying.
(03:11):
This is stressing me out.
I can't keep all these balls in the air.
I've got two little kids.
I don't know why in the heck I'm trying to do these MBA classes.
One day shortly thereafter, I had just had my son.
He was an infant and I was on my way to pick up my books for my class.
I just stopped.
I'm like, I can't do this.
I cannot do this.
(03:33):
And I turned around and I went home and I dropped all my classes.
I did finish the program later, but I just dropped all my classes.
And that was really the first time where I realized that I could not be superwoman, nor should I desire to be superwoman.
It's a myth.
It really is.
I didn't want to do it all.
I don't want to do it all now.
There's a different do it all, so to speak.
There's things that are far more fulfilling than living that formulaic life that looks like success.
(03:59):
And yet this is what the world applauds.
We applaud when someone seemingly can have it all and do it all and achieve success.
And so I guess that would have caused a bit of a disconnect for you as well, thinking, well, am I now becoming a failure?
What do I do?
Where did it lead you?
At that time, my marriage really began to become under a lot of stress.
(04:23):
I was doing more and more things alone with my kids.
I felt very dysfunctional.
I felt very disconnected, kind of like when everything looks good on the surface, but underneath it's just crumbling.
I was still showing up to all of my things at church, but I just really began to feel that things that were starting to crash down.
So in 2020, that's really when my marriage fell apart and coincidentally COVID.
(04:48):
I just walked away.
I just walked away from feeling like I had to keep striving.
I walked away from church.
I walked away from God.
I couldn't pray.
I didn't pray.
I felt like I was done at that point in time.
Even before that walking away from all those things and the marriage starting to fall apart, was there anyone externally that was starting to see the warning signs or were you very good at keeping that hidden?
(05:16):
Oh, I was very good at keeping that hidden.
I think we all tend to be, especially and unfortunately, I think in the faith community, we can kind of live in this place of if I'm a strong Christian, if I have a strong faith, then everything is okay.
But I did have one friend.
I had an amazing friend who was walking along with me the whole time, even when I didn't want to listen or take her advice.
(05:40):
She never had judgment.
She just always had words of encouragement.
I call her my iron sharpens iron sister.
And I think we need those people, men and women in our lives who are going to walk with you.
They're going to help to guide you.
And even when you don't listen, they're going to be ready to help pick you up.
So you have this seemingly amazing life.
You felt the disconnect within yourself.
(06:02):
And so you started to pull away from all those things.
Where did that lead?
Well, it led to divorce.
And then shortly thereafter, my job ended up getting reorganized.
What I thought was my amazing dream job no longer existed.
I had moved into an apartment and I no longer had that great career that seemed to be a shiny example of the American dream and success.
(06:26):
And I was just kind of feeling at rock bottom there with nothing to speak of, it felt like.
And how long did that period last where you were seemingly in the wilderness?
I would say between the time of my marriage falling apart and kind of that point in time and losing my job, it was about two years.
One thing after another kind of crumbling away.
(06:49):
And it was in that spring of 2021 that my career had shifted and ended at that time.
But shortly thereafter, near my birthday in May, I just felt like the Lord just grabbed me.
Just like grabbed me back, whether I wanted to be brought back or not.
And I just felt like He rescued me.
And what felt like shame, what felt like just failure, turned into grace and mercy.
(07:16):
And I can't truly explain it other than a supernatural intervention in my life.
It was like suddenly things were clear.
It was suddenly like I could hear the words of my friend who had been walking alongside of me.
It turned out that losing my job was a huge blessing to be able to spend that time healing from the choices that I made, healing from divorce, rediscovering that my worth is not my paycheck or my career, or in my case, being a Division I runner in the past, how fast I can run.
(07:48):
It turned into a blessing where the Lord just brought me very close back to Him.
In the faith community, we do seem to have this understanding that God forgives all, that we don't need to carry shame, we don't need to carry guilt, because He's carried all of that.
And yet, we still, for some reason, feel like we need to keep performing.
(08:09):
So, I guess for you, it was that understanding that, yes, what I've been sharing with others in ministry, what I've known to be the truth all along, is actually true for me.
When that finally came home to rest for you, it must have been an enormous relief.
It was.
It was when we can take off the mask, right, and really realize who the people are that are waiting there, that in many cases have always been there.
(08:39):
I think maybe through that shame, we're unwilling to share that with people.
But what was interesting was, as I began to talk more about my experiences and my challenges, suddenly it came out of the woodwork.
So many people struggling with the same things.
Women struggling in their marriages, but still serving in the church.
Things that we can't control seem to spiral the more we hold on and control what we can.
(09:05):
And it's almost like I was doing more and more, particularly in ministry and in my faith, almost as a substitute or to try to make up for that.
And I began to hear about that from many other women.
I suppose one little sideline there is your friend that kept trying to share with you, kept trying to bring you back.
(09:26):
You ignored it.
And so often if we are trying to share with someone, we think, well, they're not listening.
I'll just give up.
How important is it for us when we see someone in a difficult place to say, well, whether they're responding or not, I need to keep speaking into their life?
I honestly think there's only a handful of those people in our life.
(09:46):
It's a gift.
And I think we're in this busy life.
We may not even see that, honestly, what's happening to other people.
I think we've lost depth of friendship.
I was so lucky to have that friend walking alongside of me.
But I think it's something we need to cultivate more honestly, focusing more on relationships, on going into that depth.
Think of how many people we consider in our friend group, but really probably have no idea what's happening in their life.
(10:12):
You started noticing that what you had been through was the same for so many others, different experiences, but the same thing underlying it of feeling like you're losing control and so grasping at what control you have.
Is that what prompted you to start thinking, how can I help others?
How can I serve others who are in the same place?
(10:35):
Not control, because this really was the Lord kind of stepping in and showing me how to hear from Him again.
Because prior to things falling apart, I'm like, what am I doing?
What's the point?
I'm doing all of these things.
I'm serving and where is God?
Where is He in what's happening right now?
And so really it was coming back and having Him say to me, I'm here, I've always been here.
(11:00):
You're just not seeing me.
Your ears aren't open to hear me.
Your eyes aren't open to see me.
It was really my own personal experience and just wanting to share that.
I think maybe what the Lord really did with me was take away that performance orientation and really replaced it with a serving, a true serving orientation.
(11:22):
I think serving can become striving in performance, but truly saying, I want you to share with other people what you've learned and what I've done.
So I did end up creating a journal for myself.
And now I just recently had that published.
And again, the Lord said, this is not an entrepreneurial thing.
It doesn't matter to me how many books I sell.
(11:44):
It's about, can people benefit from this?
Can people who feel maybe far from God grow close to Him again, see Him, see that He's never left them?
So as you started walking alongside, especially other women, what was the response that you were getting from those women who had felt trapped like you had and were suddenly realizing that God wanted to speak to them, that God wanted to be close to them as well?
(12:12):
Relief.
This word is thrown around too much, being seen.
But I feel like that's just kind of a new thing we say, but it's really being seen by the Father and that depth of friendship that people have been lacking.
So I just received a ton of encouragement in terms of, wow, you need to do this.
This can help so many people.
(12:32):
This is really speaking to identity as well.
So as we think about purpose, as we think about how the Lord is intervening in our life, how He's showing up for us, where in places we may not even see, it's about who does He see we are?
How does the Father see us?
Just a ton of connection with women.
Every time I talk about the journal or I share what I'm doing, there's a lot of people who are really excited to help continue to share it.
(13:00):
One of the things I'm very aware of is that these events that you're talking about are only relatively recent.
So I know that you must still be walking this path yourself, still receiving God's healing.
How important is it for us to not think that we need to get everything perfect before we start to look around for those who are perhaps even just a few steps behind us and encourage them and say, hey, I found something I want to share with you.
(13:27):
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That's a big one.
That's so hard because it's so hard to be vulnerable, especially if we've got a pile of shame sitting there.
Satan's telling us, don't share this with anybody.
They're going to reject you, especially if people who have gone through divorce or are feeling nervous about opening themselves up again.
Maybe their friends left them during that difficult period of time.
I had friends leave me, particularly during divorce.
(13:49):
It's who's in the right, who's in the wrong.
It can be very, very vulnerable to be hopeful again or to be willing to engage with other people at all.
So I think to me, it just keeps coming back to how do we use the things that have occurred in our life to reach out to people when they say that they're fine or just dig a little deeper or just develop those friendships that evolve over time.
(14:14):
I think people are yearning to be authentic.
They're yearning to be able to show their true self and friendship.
But it takes time.
It doesn't happen overnight.
On to the book, Designed for Purpose, Discovering God's Daily Direction.
And I suppose it is important that we are seeking daily direction.
We pray in the Lord's Prayer, give us this day our daily bread.
(14:35):
And it recognizes our need to consistently go back to God, not, okay, God, I've got the blueprint.
I'm fine for the next few years.
How important is it that we are checking in with God regularly, daily or even hourly or each moment?
Yeah, I kind of view life now as there's a beautiful, amazing roadmap.
(14:57):
But I only get to see a couple of steps at a time.
And the Lord says that I have good plans for you, right?
So trusting that He has a plan for you.
And that's really kind of what I'm focusing in the journal.
It's a four-week reflective journal.
And it's focusing into the fact that the Lord has designed us.
He's known us.
He's breathed life into us.
(15:17):
He knit us together in our mother's womb.
His fingerprints are on us.
We're each unique.
And He's going to use all of that for an incredible plan over our lifetime.
But we know from Scripture that it's His plan, not our plan.
We always want to make it our plan.
When I think about walking hand in hand with Jesus, I joke that it's like the former me.
(15:38):
And maybe sometimes still a little bit of that performance driven.
I want to grab Jesus' hand and knock Him out of the way and say, let's go!
Or pull Him along and say, let's go!
Rather than walk truly at His pace.
It really is that little bit by bit because He's got such a good plan.
And if we're patient and we wait and we seek Him out, He will answer.
(15:58):
That's another critical piece throughout all of Scripture.
He will answer every time we seek Him.
Sometimes it's not the answer we want.
Sometimes it's a redirection, but it's always good.
And we trust that what He has for us is better than what we would have chosen.
We're talking here about finding our God-given purpose.
(16:19):
I'm wondering if there are people that really at the start of their journey, it's not even a matter of saying, okay, what is my God-given purpose?
But do you really believe that God has a purpose for even me?
There are people that would doubt that God even cares for them.
You mentioned before about God seeing us.
There's that doubt that, yeah, sure, God sees everyone else but not me.
(16:40):
Is there that same thing for some people of, yes, I know God has a purpose for some people, but I doubt that it's for me?
Yeah, and that's actually the beauty of the journal is when you step back and begin to just reflect on your life every day, you can see that He is showing up for you.
When you're thinking about a conversation you had, when maybe circumstances have shifted and woven together, things that you thought were a dead end suddenly become an open door, it's that daily reflection where you can begin to see Him.
(17:12):
So it's cultivating, even for people who may not be believers, so cultivating a mindset of pausing and seeing.
And I really believe that if we step back and we are looking at our day, we're going to see God everywhere in our day.
But it can be very hard in terms of that mindset when we begin to fall into self-loathing or we're falling into, why would God care about me?
(17:37):
Like, He cares about the person over there.
I can see all their stuff, I can see it on social media, but that's also not real life, right?
So I think that this is a useful tool for people who are maybe even way early on that path or even young people who are just learning how God has even made them.
Oftentimes we feel that when we come to a fork in the road and we need to take a particular direction, we press into God and everything in the past is wasted.
(18:04):
And yet, what I'm hearing from you is even those dark times, even the difficult times, God can still use them for His glory.
Has that been your experience?
Yeah, 100%.
And in a strange way, the things that I thought were the highs in my life, looking back now, I'm like, wow, that was pretty empty, actually.
(18:24):
And now I'm rediscovering the simple, true, good things that He has for me.
And I'm so happy that at this point in my life, after kind of starting out, I'm four and a half years after divorce and I'm newly engaged.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Even just these circumstances that can be used for good, and God never wastes pain, He never wastes our suffering, it's always for our growth.
(18:52):
And I think that we need to step into that pain and suffering and the authenticity of our stories to share with other people.
Because I think we're going to learn that there's so many more people in the same place or similar places that have been hiding it and are yearning to be able to have that released and to have those wounds healed and we can become more connected through that.
(19:14):
I'm wondering if there have been perhaps people that have either read the book or you've been coaching that are real standout stories for you, where you've been able to see the way that God has turned their life around.
Now, obviously, you are not wanting to get in the way of anyone's privacy, but are there stories that you can tell of those whose lives have been changed because you've been able to share from your own vulnerability?
(19:38):
Yeah, I think of a person that I talked to for a little bit who was just coming out of some similar circumstances, I think it really comes down to the, where is God in things?
And I feel that when we're able to really pause and see Him, it's going to prevent us from walking away.
And I think that in this instance, being able to connect with somebody, being able to pause and look and examine our circumstances has resulted in women who rather than go down that path of walking away are choosing to see where their father is leading them.
(20:14):
Right now, I am co-leading a single mom's prayer group.
That's just been a huge blessing.
And again, the circumstances that I've walked through now help me to be able to feel and understand the circumstances that those women are in and kind of the yearning of their heart, the challenges that they're facing.
And I'm able to help point them back to, don't give up, don't give up.
(20:37):
He's still here.
He's still holding your hand.
Lean into holding His hand.
Don't let it go.
I'm wondering if there are some of the people that you were interacting with back in the time when it looked like you had it all together, were performing well at work and all of that.
Are there some of those people from those business days that you've been able to connect with and share some of your story?
(21:00):
It's interesting how circumstances come back together.
So as I've been on LinkedIn and sharing what I'm doing now, there's definitely people who have reached out and have been in similar circumstances of having gone through, particularly work transition.
That's probably been the greatest connection in the open door where it's, I experienced this at this point in time.
(21:22):
All of these other challenges came with it.
And this is really a way for me to, especially like in a professional environment, we're not sharing deep things like that most often, right?
At our jobs, at our careers.
So there's been people I come back around and I'm like, I would have had no idea.
I would have never guessed.
So be able to come back around and share in the journal and to be able to connect at a level of faith that we otherwise would have never been able to connect with in the past.
(21:49):
It certainly sounds like one of the big keys towards freedom is that understanding of what you two and understanding that someone else has faced this.
For someone who might be listening at the moment and they're not ready to share their story publicly in the way that you are sharing it, but they need to find someone to share a part of that story with.
(22:12):
They don't feel connected in that way with people around them.
Where should they first look?
They should first look themselves to God.
Ask the Lord, bring me people, bring me the right people that I can become connected with.
I always say start with your church or seek out a church.
Get connected to people.
(22:32):
Open your eyes for people who are empathetic, who are responsive, who are willing, and you can see, want to know more, that are willing to share themselves.
People who are willing to be vulnerable often are those people who you can connect with and go deeper with.
You've mentioned that God gives us all a plan and oftentimes He's just giving us a sneak peek day by day by day.
(22:56):
But sometimes He'll give us a wider view.
Have you seen any wider view from God of a direction that He's wanting you to continue along?
Yeah, so it was interesting.
I'm sitting in my office and behind me is the verse John 15, 5.
And one morning I woke up, just in my mind, the Lord had spoken to me right before I woke up.
(23:19):
Green vine strategies, green vine coaching, green vine.
And so I am the vine, you are the branches, right?
Remain in me.
That has become one of my key life verses, and that's really what I want to help women, and I want to help all people live, is to grow close to Him, remain in Him, produce fruit, because that's part of our purpose, that's part of our dream.
(23:41):
We'll produce our best fruit.
We'll be living in our true joy, as the way I see it.
We'll be thriving.
And it's not about status.
It's not about what you amass.
It's not about the symbols that go with that.
It's that true inside joy of bearing that fruit.
So that in particular has been a space that He's brought to me.
And it's taken time.
(24:01):
Things don't happen overnight, but everything for me is around green vine.
In the cover of my journal, you'll see when it says designed for purpose, it's just that little plant.
I know the Lord has more for me to do in this space.
I'm going to go from this little seedling into that luscious vine, and the Lord has shown me that.
So there's more tools, there's more books that will be coming, because I really want to take what I've learned professionally in a space of my career was in continuous improvement and change management.
(24:29):
And He's redirecting those skill sets to people, to help people through change, through growth.
I used to work in organizational transformation.
Now I'm moving into the business of people transformation.
So that's really where the Lord has called me.
So redirecting those skills.
So kind of back toward, you know, all things are weaving together for a purpose.
(24:49):
So He's taking that career I had, He's taking those skills I've learned, but He's redirecting them to what's really going to truly bear fruit and to help people and to change lives.
I'm sure that there are people listening at the moment who think, I need to make a connection with Tanya.
I need to find out more about this.
Where is the easiest place for people to find you?
(25:11):
Greenvinecoaching.com or anywhere on the social media platforms, Facebook, Instagram, Greenvine Coaching is the handle.
My book, Designed for Purpose, Discovering God's Daily Direction, is available everywhere books are sold.
So those are the best ways to connect.
And again, that book is a journal that takes people through a bit of a journey over four weeks.
It's not something that is a big weighty manual that you have to wade through, but just a way to guide people to start to discover what God has in plan for them.
(25:42):
So I will definitely put links in the show notes at bleedingdaylight.net for your website, but also for the book so that people can get that and go on that four-week journey themselves.
But Tanya, I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and thank you for your time on Bleeding Daylight today.
Thank you so much.
(26:02):
Thank you for listening to Bleeding Daylight.
Please help us to shine more light into the darkness by sharing this episode with others.
For further details and more episodes, please visit bleedingdaylight.net.
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