November 4, 2023 • 28 mins
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Do you ever find yourself wrestling with the guilt of leaving your little ones to go to work? As Christian mothers, we are often conflicted between the demands of motherhood and the necessity to earn a living. But what if I told you that you're not alone in this struggle? This episode aims to explore and debunk the harmful narratives that shame working mothers, challenging the traditional gender roles often perpetuated by social media influencers. Using Proverbs 31 as our guide, we'll focus on verses 10-31, a source of inspiration and a guidebook for Christian and Catholic women, proving that working mothers are just as virtuous.
The pressures of balancing work and motherhood are immense. But rest assured, through a deep dive into Proverbs 31, we explore the possibility of maintaining a balance between prioritizing our children and fulfilling our personal choices and necessities. Caught between the challenges of work and the joys of motherhood, how do we ensure that our children's emotional, mental, and spiritual needs are met? Together, we'll journey through the Bible, seeking the wisdom of Proverbs 31 to guide us in maintaining the correct balance between work and home life, ultimately prioritizing what truly matters. Join us as we navigate the complexities of modern motherhood and discover interpretations of traditional scriptures.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello and welcome to All Our Little Messes, a podcast
focused on healing throughintentional conversations about
parenting, relationships,religion and more.
I am your host, veronica Winrod, and I'm so happy to have you
here listening in on my thoughtstoday.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
Welcome back to All Our LittleMesses.
(00:32):
Today I'm going to be doingsomething a little different.
I was recently inspired bysomeone to start basing episodes
off of verses or chapters inthe Bible that I find inspiring.
So something I wanted to talkabout today was Proverbs 31,
(00:53):
which I feel like is not talkedabout enough within Christian
and Catholic circles.
Proverbs 31, starting withverse 10, is such a powerful
guidebook for Christian andCatholic women and we all seem
(01:13):
to focus on St Paul and hisadvice for marriage and for
women and we forget aboutProverbs, and there's just so
much in here that it's beautiful.
So I actually have my Bible outhere and I wanted to just read
(01:37):
a couple verses to you guys.
I'm starting with Proverbs 31,verse 10,.
A capable wife who, confined she, is far more precious than
jewels.
The heart of her husband trustsin her and he will have no lack
of gain.
She does him good and not harm.
All the days of her life.
(01:57):
She seeks wool and flax andworks with willing hands.
She is like the ships of themerchant and she brings her food
from far away.
She rises while it is stillnight and provides food for her
household and tasks for herservant girls.
She considers a field and buysit with the fruit of her hands.
As she plants a vineyard, sheguards herself with strength and
(02:20):
makes her arms strong.
She perceives that hermerchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out atnight.
She puts her hand to thedestaff and her hands hold the
spindle.
She opens her hands to the poorand reaches out her hands to
the needy.
She is not afraid for herhousehold when it snows, for all
her household are clothed incrimson.
(02:42):
She makes herself coverings.
Her clothing is fine, linen andpurple.
Her husband is known in thecity gates, taking his seat
among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments andsells them.
She supplies the merchant withsashes.
Strength and dignity are herclothing and she laughs at the
(03:03):
time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdomand the teaching of kindness is
on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways ofher household and does not eat
the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and callher Pappy, her husband too, and
he praises her.
Many women have doneexcellently, but used to pass
(03:24):
them all.
Charm is deceitful and beautyis gain, but a woman who fears
the Lord is to be appraised.
Give her a share in the fruitof her hands and let her works
praise her in the city gates.
And that those verses there,that's Proverbs 10 through 31,
(03:47):
have honestly been so powerfulto me and inspiring to me the
last, especially the last coupleof weeks, because I've noticed
this huge uptick, especially onTwitter and Instagram, on
certain influencer pages.
They're always through theChristian influencers, talking
(04:08):
about submission and marriageand how you know a woman
shouldn't work.
So you've got it's.
It's the people that areretired, their husbands are
retired, they're living on, youknow, pension, their house is
paid off and they're driving a$60,000 vehicle.
(04:28):
And they're telling young womenwho are married freshly married
, maybe they have one kid, twokids.
They're shaming them forworking and telling them that,
basically, they they need togive up more necessities of life
(04:50):
in order to stay home withtheir kids, otherwise they're
not following the law of God andI find that infuriating because
these, these older women arespeaking from one such a place
of privilege, you know, having apaid-off house and a paid-off
vehicle, with a husband who, youknow, is living off of a
(05:14):
pension, and they're notstruggling.
And yet they're demanding thatthese young mothers struggle,
and twisting scripture orcompletely forgetting about
certain verses of scripture inorder to shame them and just
staying home with their, withtheir kids, which don't get me
(05:35):
wrong, staying home with yourkids is a very like, desirable
and honorable thing to do, likein it.
You know, in an ideal situation, a mother should stay home with
her kids and, you know, raisethem.
We are responsible for the nextgeneration.
So, but in a lot of cases,especially, like you know,
today's economy, that is justnot.
That's not feasible.
(05:55):
That's not feasible.
You've got record inflation, Imean.
We've got housing pricesthrough the roof.
We've got vehicle prices, gasprices, you know, just it's food
, just food.
I mean, just a couple years ago, a gallon of milk was half of
what it is now.
(06:16):
So a lot of families are findingit impossible to live off of
one, one income and thesemothers are feeling, you know,
forced into a corner, like.
You know, what was myalternative?
Either I go to work and I helpmy husband, and you know, we, we
support this family togetherwhile we have to, or my children
(06:41):
, starve.
And that's that's literally thethought process and like and I
can speak from experience, youknow, having gone through some
financial struggles myself inthe past like that was my, that
was my thought process was, youknow, either I stay home and I
worry extensively about whetheror not I'm gonna have money to
(07:03):
feed my kids, or I, you know,help my husband with the burden
of supporting the household forsix months to a year to help
alleviate some of the financialstress, and we don't worry about
food for our kids.
So that's like that's astruggle that a lot of modern
Christian mothers are facing.
(07:23):
And you have these influencerson, you know, instagram and
Twitter and TikTok shaming themfor making this, this sacrifice.
Like it's not enjoyable.
It's not enjoyable to leave ourkids at home and, you know, go
off to work making only fivedollars over minimum wage.
(07:44):
Like it's not fun.
We don't enjoy it.
We're not doing it because, youknow, we're rebellious women
and we just want our careers andwe'd rather submit to a boss
and submit to our husbands.
We do it out of necessity, theydo it because they have to,
they do it because they lovetheir children and so shaming
(08:08):
them by quoting, you know,certain verses in the Bible that
that talk about.
I believe it was.
Let me pull it up here.
It was in the book of Titus, Iam pulling it up now.
So it was Titus 2, verses 3through 5.
(08:35):
The likewise tell the olderwomen to be reverent in behavior
, not to be slanders or slavesto drink.
They are to teach what is goodso that they may encourage the
young women to love theirhusbands, to love their children
, to be self-controlled, chased,good managers of the household,
kind, being submissive to theirhusbands, so that the word of
God may not be discredited.
(08:56):
And a lot of these influencersare taking that that, those
verses there, to mean that, whenit says good managers of the
household and loving theirchildren, to mean that they must
stay at home and you must notwork.
You are not allowed to work,when in fact it says, you know,
(09:17):
in Proverbs 31 it talks aboutthe capable wife seeking wool
and flax, working with willinghands, managing her household
and tasks for her servant girls.
She considers a field.
This, the one, this part is, isreally the stickler for me,
like this part is just.
It's amazing.
She considers a field and buysit.
(09:39):
With the fruit of her hands,she plants a vineyard.
She perceives that hermerchandise is profitable.
That is just.
That is amazing.
That is amazing.
Here you've got, you know,solomon talking about a woman
(09:59):
building a business.
She's running a business.
She considers a field and shebuys it.
She perceives that hermerchandise is profitable.
That is amazing.
That completely goes against themessaging that a lot of these
women are forcing onto youngmothers and working women these
(10:24):
days is that they have to stayhome with their kids.
They have no other choice.
If they don't stay home withtheir kids, then they're sinning
, they're a bad mom, they're nota good Christian, they're not a
good Catholic.
It's anti-biblical, when, infact, you've got it right here
in the Bible that you knowyou've got a woman who has
children and she's running abusiness.
(10:45):
Now it also does talk about inthe book of Proverbs that her
children rise up and call herblessed.
She does not abandon herchildren, and that is extremely,
extremely important to notethere, because I don't think it
(11:13):
is biblically justified for amother to leave her children to
go to work to the judgment oftheir mental, physical or
spiritual welfare, like that isour children are.
You know, once we make thatdecision to have children and
(11:35):
God gives us that responsibility, it is, they are our number one
job, to the exclusion of allelse.
Like our marriage, so it's God,and like in my mind, at least
in my life it's God, my marriage, then my kids, and then
everything else is below that.
So if anything in life standsbetween me and those three
(11:58):
things, I don't even, I don'teven consider it like it's just
no, no.
And so if it is a necessity foryou to go to work, if going to
work is going to be at thejudgment of your children or
your marriage, then you, youcan't do it because those
responsibilities and those,those covenants with your
(12:19):
husband and with God are theirnumber one.
They come before everythingelse.
And you know they do talk aboutthat here in the Bible, even if
you know, even if they'retalking about the proverb of 31
woman, you know considering afield and you know proceeding,
(12:40):
that her merchandise isprofitable.
They also note that the heartof her husband trusts in her and
she does him good and not harm.
She rises before while it isstill night, it is still, it's
still dark outside, and sheprovides food for her household.
(13:03):
So she, she tends to the needsof her household, her husband
and her children, before shetends to the needs of her
business.
And so that that is somethingthat I feel is very important to
remember, because we so often,you know, when we, when we go
(13:25):
get it, when we have a job orsomething like that we so often
let it come between us and andour children and come between us
and our husbands and like wehave to remember that it's just
a job and you know, the job'send is to feed us and to close
us and that is it.
(13:46):
And just the way these versesare ordered can show us how
we're supposed to, as women, howwe're supposed to order that in
our own lives.
She takes, she tends to theneeds of her household before
she tends to the needs of herboss or tends to the needs of
(14:06):
her business, and so, like thatis again, that that's just
something that we have toremember and we have to be
careful of, because it's so easyto fall into the trap of the
career woman, and that's where Ifeel like a lot of these
influencers get their ammunitionis.
(14:27):
You know, they see theseChristian career women working
and they perceive it as to thedetriment of of their children,
of these women's children.
And so we have to be, we haveto be very careful to to find
(14:47):
the balance of ourresponsibilities and to be able
to to manage them and be veryclearheaded about this.
To be very clearheaded aboutworking while you have a family
and a husband and I mean, I'veseen it, I've seen it work
(15:11):
myself personally, like I'veactually I've done it myself.
So I worked for a year after Ihad my son.
I worked for a year and afterthat year it was starting to
become a struggle.
My husband and I were havingmore marital problems, the
(15:34):
relationship with my son wasstarting to suffer and, like, my
mental health was sufferingbecause I couldn't juggle, I
couldn't successfully balancework and home life.
I just I couldn't do it.
And so I was starting to, I wasstarting to prioritize work
over my home life, and I justremember feeling so ashamed
(15:55):
because when I had that workinterview, one thing I told my
future boss at the time was thatmy kids will always have
priority over this job, 100% ofthe time.
If I get a phone call in themiddle of the day saying my kid
needs me, I'm leaving and Idon't care how you feel about it
, I have to go.
(16:16):
No job is more important thanmy kids.
And I remember that interview.
And you know, later that year Iran into some problems, and you
know, at home and at work, and Iprioritized the problems at
(16:40):
work over my problems at homeand I put my problems at home on
the back burner, to be dealtwith later and, like I said, my
relationships with my husbandand my kids suffered for it.
And so it was at the end ofthat year I was just like I
can't.
I can't juggle both Like I'mnot.
(17:01):
I'm not one of those peoplethat can successfully juggle
both.
So we well, I made the decisionto come home and to stay home
and we made it work.
We made it work.
We, you know, we just changedsome things with my husband's
work and we changed some thingswithin our budget, paid off some
(17:23):
debt, and we made it work.
Like I just made the decisionto stay home, no matter what
Like, no matter how bad ourfinances got, no matter how bad.
You know, we struggled.
I was not going to go back towork because I don't personally
feel like I'm one of thosepeople that can successfully
(17:44):
juggle both like a full time joband having kids and a husband,
like one of them, is going tosuffer and the job needs to
suffer.
But jobs don't like it.
When they suffer they tend tolay you off or fire you.
So, yeah, I stay home.
I stay home now.
But for those women that cansuccessfully juggle you know,
(18:10):
work and home life it'simportant to remember,
especially if we're Christiansor Catholics, that we have to,
we have to maintain the correctbalance of Of our work and home
life.
Like our kids are number one.
We cannot allow them to sufferfor our personal choices.
(18:33):
So if we Choose personally togo back to work, they cannot
suffer for that decision.
We have to make sure that theirneeds are met and Before we go
back to work and when I sayneeds, I'm not just talking
about they have a roof overtheir head and they have food in
their belly and shoes andclothes on their backs, I'm
talking about their emotionaland their mental and spiritual
(18:55):
needs as well.
Like, those needs must 100% bemet Before we go back to work,
because we are we are mothersfirst and foremost.
Like I Hate, I mean, it might behard for some women to hear
that you know their identity ismotherhood.
But until your child turns 18and Leaves you know your
(19:21):
guidance and your protection,your identity is being a mother.
That is our number one job.
That is our first shot.
We are in charge of raising thenext generation and if we
cannot successfully do that inall the ways, then we need to
(19:42):
let go of the things that arestopping us from doing that.
And if you know our jobs arestopping us from doing that,
then we need to change that job.
We need to let go of that jobis something we have to protect
our kids.
So, yeah, proverbs 31 is veryit's very clear about that.
We, we can work.
We can work in my mind.
(20:03):
Like reading through this andI've actually talked to, I
actually talked to a priestabout this, about Proverbs 31
too, and he actually agreed onme on this one like it does say
that we can work, we can runbusinesses, but he also agreed
that it seems to imply that wecannot do it at the To the
(20:26):
detriment of our children.
Just in the way that theseverses are ordered, it talks
about how we care.
You know we're a capable wifeCaring for our husband and our
children, our household and ourservant girls.
Then it talks about how we runa successful business.
Then it talks about how, howProductively are.
(20:50):
Then it talks about, you know,our, our care for the poor and
the needy and how prepared weare to take care of our
household for times of distressyou know, future distress,
things like that.
And Then it talks about how thepeople around us, after
(21:10):
following these guidelines inProverbs because Proverbs is,
you know, the Proverbs is arulebook.
So these, this, this rulebookfor being a righteous woman and
a capable wife, it it talksabout how, after following these
rules and Applying them to toour lives and to her life, this
(21:34):
woman was, her husband was knownin the city gates and she
Praised her.
Her children rose up and calledher blessed, so that that
priority of of life and andthese rules are are there for a
(22:00):
reason like it's.
It's very important for us toproperly read scripture and not
just pick and choose littletidbits out of the Bible that
will make the best clickbait onyour next tiktok video and, no,
not pull out little tidbits thatwill make the best clickbait on
(22:24):
your next tweet on Twitter, andI'm specifically thinking of a
certain number of influencerswhen I talk about this.
Yesterday I went down therabbit hole of a particular
Twitter account and I was just Icould not believe it.
It was so full of absolute hate, vitriol and shame shaming
(22:46):
towards mothers who choose towork or, you know, maybe they're
having a very difficultpostpartum period and they can't
have sexual relations withtheir husbands when their
husbands absolutely claim thatthey need it.
The the hate and shaming thatthis, this woman, was doing on
(23:09):
these poor young mothers wasjust absolutely horrible.
And so I got up my Bible lastnight and I started like reading
these verses that she wasquoting, and then I just started
reading other verses that I'veheard other people quoting and I
was just like you know, thisdoesn't say at all what you
think it says, like this doesn'tmake sense.
So, yeah, I wanted to talk aboutthat today because you know
(23:33):
there is there is a lot of shamein traditional culture on women
who who's used to go to work,and we carry that shame with us.
We feel ashamed about, aboutworking, like somehow we're
we're bad mothers, even thoughthe whole reason why we go to
work in the first place is outof love and care for our
(23:55):
children, like we're not doingit out of some selfish need to
feel fulfilled, like it hasnothing to do with that.
It's it 100% makes our livesharder to go to work because now
we have three jobs.
We have to be a good employee,we have to be a good wife and a
(24:16):
good mother.
We have three full-time jobs.
Now why would any woman choosethat?
On purpose, like why would wechoose that?
It's so much easier not to.
So you know, when a woman makesthe choice to go to work, she's
, she's doing it because shefeels the necessity of it, and
(24:37):
so I would.
I would really urge those whowho think this way, who think
that mothers shouldn't work, Iwould really urge them to think
about one, think about all thereasons why you think women
should work, and think aboutwhere those opinions came from,
and and then you know, check andsee if your opinions are
(24:59):
actually, you know, biblicallybased and you know based on
Christian and Catholic doctrine,because I can guarantee you,
95% of the time, they're notgoing to be, and they're just
going to be based on personalbias and what you think women
should do.
So, yeah, I would actually alsolike to encourage any woman
(25:24):
reading this to go read Proverbs31, chapter.
Proverbs 31, verses 10 through31.
I believe it is.
Let me double check here,flipping through pages yes,
proverbs 31, verses 10 through31.
It's absolutely beautiful toread.
(25:46):
I I am actually reading it out.
What Bible is this I have?
I have several differentversions of the Bible and I
believe this one is the NRSBCatholic edition.
So it's it's been edited alittle bit just to make it
(26:10):
easier to read, make it easierfor our modern minds to read.
So I would encourage anyone tothat is listening to go and read
, read this.
It's a beautiful read and then,just, you know, just do a brief
reflection on it and how we canapply it to our daily lives.
(26:32):
Thank you for turning into allof our little messes.
This has been a veryinteresting podcast episode for
me.
To record.
It's because it was.
It was kind of a new topic forme.
I never really thought aboutProverbs 31 before that way.
So it was interesting and veryawesome to spend the last week
just kind of diving into theProverbs and, you know, trying
(26:57):
to figure out what what it meant.
There was a couple phone callsand emails I sent to my parish
priest with questions.
I'm sure he got annoyed.
So but yes, thank you fortuning in this week and don't
forget to hit that follow buttonand download every week so you
(27:17):
can catch up on last week's andfuture episodes.
Thank you very much forlistening.
I'll see you guys next week.
Thank you for tuning in to thisepisode of all our little
messes.
Please let us know how much youenjoyed it below and add any
(27:38):
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(28:01):
updates and insights thatmirror podcast topics.
Thank you for listening andwe'll see you next week.
Hello and welcome to All Our Little Messes, a podcast
focused on healing throughintentional conversations about
parenting, relationships,religion and more.
I am your host, veronica Winrod, and I'm so happy to have you
here listening in on my thoughtstoday.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
Welcome back to All Our LittleMesses.
(00:32):
Today I'm going to be doingsomething a little different.
I was recently inspired bysomeone to start basing episodes
off of verses or chapters inthe Bible that I find inspiring.
So something I wanted to talkabout today was Proverbs 31,
(00:53):
which I feel like is not talkedabout enough within Christian
and Catholic circles.
Proverbs 31, starting withverse 10, is such a powerful
guidebook for Christian andCatholic women and we all seem
(01:13):
to focus on St Paul and hisadvice for marriage and for
women and we forget aboutProverbs, and there's just so
much in here that it's beautiful.
So I actually have my Bible outhere and I wanted to just read
(01:37):
a couple verses to you guys.
I'm starting with Proverbs 31,verse 10,.
A capable wife who, confined she, is far more precious than
jewels.
The heart of her husband trustsin her and he will have no lack
of gain.
She does him good and not harm.
All the days of her life.
(01:57):
She seeks wool and flax andworks with willing hands.
She is like the ships of themerchant and she brings her food
from far away.
She rises while it is stillnight and provides food for her
household and tasks for herservant girls.
She considers a field and buysit with the fruit of her hands.
As she plants a vineyard, sheguards herself with strength and
(02:20):
makes her arms strong.
She perceives that hermerchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out atnight.
She puts her hand to thedestaff and her hands hold the
spindle.
She opens her hands to the poorand reaches out her hands to
the needy.
She is not afraid for herhousehold when it snows, for all
her household are clothed incrimson.
(02:42):
She makes herself coverings.
Her clothing is fine, linen andpurple.
Her husband is known in thecity gates, taking his seat
among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments andsells them.
She supplies the merchant withsashes.
Strength and dignity are herclothing and she laughs at the
(03:03):
time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdomand the teaching of kindness is
on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways ofher household and does not eat
the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and callher Pappy, her husband too, and
he praises her.
Many women have doneexcellently, but used to pass
(03:24):
them all.
Charm is deceitful and beautyis gain, but a woman who fears
the Lord is to be appraised.
Give her a share in the fruitof her hands and let her works
praise her in the city gates.
And that those verses there,that's Proverbs 10 through 31,
(03:47):
have honestly been so powerfulto me and inspiring to me the
last, especially the last coupleof weeks, because I've noticed
this huge uptick, especially onTwitter and Instagram, on
certain influencer pages.
They're always through theChristian influencers, talking
(04:08):
about submission and marriageand how you know a woman
shouldn't work.
So you've got it's.
It's the people that areretired, their husbands are
retired, they're living on, youknow, pension, their house is
paid off and they're driving a$60,000 vehicle.
(04:28):
And they're telling young womenwho are married freshly married
, maybe they have one kid, twokids.
They're shaming them forworking and telling them that,
basically, they they need togive up more necessities of life
(04:50):
in order to stay home withtheir kids, otherwise they're
not following the law of God andI find that infuriating because
these, these older women arespeaking from one such a place
of privilege, you know, having apaid-off house and a paid-off
vehicle, with a husband who, youknow, is living off of a
(05:14):
pension, and they're notstruggling.
And yet they're demanding thatthese young mothers struggle,
and twisting scripture orcompletely forgetting about
certain verses of scripture inorder to shame them and just
staying home with their, withtheir kids, which don't get me
(05:35):
wrong, staying home with yourkids is a very like, desirable
and honorable thing to do, likein it.
You know, in an ideal situation, a mother should stay home with
her kids and, you know, raisethem.
We are responsible for the nextgeneration.
So, but in a lot of cases,especially, like you know,
today's economy, that is justnot.
That's not feasible.
(05:55):
That's not feasible.
You've got record inflation, Imean.
We've got housing pricesthrough the roof.
We've got vehicle prices, gasprices, you know, just it's food
, just food.
I mean, just a couple years ago, a gallon of milk was half of
what it is now.
(06:16):
So a lot of families are findingit impossible to live off of
one, one income and thesemothers are feeling, you know,
forced into a corner, like.
You know, what was myalternative?
Either I go to work and I helpmy husband, and you know, we, we
support this family togetherwhile we have to, or my children
(06:41):
, starve.
And that's that's literally thethought process and like and I
can speak from experience, youknow, having gone through some
financial struggles myself inthe past like that was my, that
was my thought process was, youknow, either I stay home and I
worry extensively about whetheror not I'm gonna have money to
(07:03):
feed my kids, or I, you know,help my husband with the burden
of supporting the household forsix months to a year to help
alleviate some of the financialstress, and we don't worry about
food for our kids.
So that's like that's astruggle that a lot of modern
Christian mothers are facing.
(07:23):
And you have these influencerson, you know, instagram and
Twitter and TikTok shaming themfor making this, this sacrifice.
Like it's not enjoyable.
It's not enjoyable to leave ourkids at home and, you know, go
off to work making only fivedollars over minimum wage.
(07:44):
Like it's not fun.
We don't enjoy it.
We're not doing it because, youknow, we're rebellious women
and we just want our careers andwe'd rather submit to a boss
and submit to our husbands.
We do it out of necessity, theydo it because they have to,
they do it because they lovetheir children and so shaming
(08:08):
them by quoting, you know,certain verses in the Bible that
that talk about.
I believe it was.
Let me pull it up here.
It was in the book of Titus, Iam pulling it up now.
So it was Titus 2, verses 3through 5.
(08:35):
The likewise tell the olderwomen to be reverent in behavior
, not to be slanders or slavesto drink.
They are to teach what is goodso that they may encourage the
young women to love theirhusbands, to love their children
, to be self-controlled, chased,good managers of the household,
kind, being submissive to theirhusbands, so that the word of
God may not be discredited.
(08:56):
And a lot of these influencersare taking that that, those
verses there, to mean that, whenit says good managers of the
household and loving theirchildren, to mean that they must
stay at home and you must notwork.
You are not allowed to work,when in fact it says, you know,
(09:17):
in Proverbs 31 it talks aboutthe capable wife seeking wool
and flax, working with willinghands, managing her household
and tasks for her servant girls.
She considers a field.
This, the one, this part is, isreally the stickler for me,
like this part is just.
It's amazing.
She considers a field and buysit.
(09:39):
With the fruit of her hands,she plants a vineyard.
She perceives that hermerchandise is profitable.
That is just.
That is amazing.
That is amazing.
Here you've got, you know,solomon talking about a woman
(09:59):
building a business.
She's running a business.
She considers a field and shebuys it.
She perceives that hermerchandise is profitable.
That is amazing.
That completely goes against themessaging that a lot of these
women are forcing onto youngmothers and working women these
(10:24):
days is that they have to stayhome with their kids.
They have no other choice.
If they don't stay home withtheir kids, then they're sinning
, they're a bad mom, they're nota good Christian, they're not a
good Catholic.
It's anti-biblical, when, infact, you've got it right here
in the Bible that you knowyou've got a woman who has
children and she's running abusiness.
(10:45):
Now it also does talk about inthe book of Proverbs that her
children rise up and call herblessed.
She does not abandon herchildren, and that is extremely,
extremely important to notethere, because I don't think it
(11:13):
is biblically justified for amother to leave her children to
go to work to the judgment oftheir mental, physical or
spiritual welfare, like that isour children are.
You know, once we make thatdecision to have children and
(11:35):
God gives us that responsibility, it is, they are our number one
job, to the exclusion of allelse.
Like our marriage, so it's God,and like in my mind, at least
in my life it's God, my marriage, then my kids, and then
everything else is below that.
So if anything in life standsbetween me and those three
(11:58):
things, I don't even, I don'teven consider it like it's just
no, no.
And so if it is a necessity foryou to go to work, if going to
work is going to be at thejudgment of your children or
your marriage, then you, youcan't do it because those
responsibilities and those,those covenants with your
(12:19):
husband and with God are theirnumber one.
They come before everythingelse.
And you know they do talk aboutthat here in the Bible, even if
you know, even if they'retalking about the proverb of 31
woman, you know considering afield and you know proceeding,
(12:40):
that her merchandise isprofitable.
They also note that the heartof her husband trusts in her and
she does him good and not harm.
She rises before while it isstill night, it is still, it's
still dark outside, and sheprovides food for her household.
(13:03):
So she, she tends to the needsof her household, her husband
and her children, before shetends to the needs of her
business.
And so that that is somethingthat I feel is very important to
remember, because we so often,you know, when we, when we go
(13:25):
get it, when we have a job orsomething like that we so often
let it come between us and andour children and come between us
and our husbands and like wehave to remember that it's just
a job and you know, the job'send is to feed us and to close
us and that is it.
(13:46):
And just the way these versesare ordered can show us how
we're supposed to, as women, howwe're supposed to order that in
our own lives.
She takes, she tends to theneeds of her household before
she tends to the needs of herboss or tends to the needs of
(14:06):
her business, and so, like thatis again, that that's just
something that we have toremember and we have to be
careful of, because it's so easyto fall into the trap of the
career woman, and that's where Ifeel like a lot of these
influencers get their ammunitionis.
(14:27):
You know, they see theseChristian career women working
and they perceive it as to thedetriment of of their children,
of these women's children.
And so we have to be, we haveto be very careful to to find
(14:47):
the balance of ourresponsibilities and to be able
to to manage them and be veryclearheaded about this.
To be very clearheaded aboutworking while you have a family
and a husband and I mean, I'veseen it, I've seen it work
(15:11):
myself personally, like I'veactually I've done it myself.
So I worked for a year after Ihad my son.
I worked for a year and afterthat year it was starting to
become a struggle.
My husband and I were havingmore marital problems, the
(15:34):
relationship with my son wasstarting to suffer and, like, my
mental health was sufferingbecause I couldn't juggle, I
couldn't successfully balancework and home life.
I just I couldn't do it.
And so I was starting to, I wasstarting to prioritize work
over my home life, and I justremember feeling so ashamed
(15:55):
because when I had that workinterview, one thing I told my
future boss at the time was thatmy kids will always have
priority over this job, 100% ofthe time.
If I get a phone call in themiddle of the day saying my kid
needs me, I'm leaving and Idon't care how you feel about it
, I have to go.
(16:16):
No job is more important thanmy kids.
And I remember that interview.
And you know, later that year Iran into some problems, and you
know, at home and at work, and Iprioritized the problems at
(16:40):
work over my problems at homeand I put my problems at home on
the back burner, to be dealtwith later and, like I said, my
relationships with my husbandand my kids suffered for it.
And so it was at the end ofthat year I was just like I
can't.
I can't juggle both Like I'mnot.
(17:01):
I'm not one of those peoplethat can successfully juggle
both.
So we well, I made the decisionto come home and to stay home
and we made it work.
We made it work.
We, you know, we just changedsome things with my husband's
work and we changed some thingswithin our budget, paid off some
(17:23):
debt, and we made it work.
Like I just made the decisionto stay home, no matter what
Like, no matter how bad ourfinances got, no matter how bad.
You know, we struggled.
I was not going to go back towork because I don't personally
feel like I'm one of thosepeople that can successfully
(17:44):
juggle both like a full time joband having kids and a husband,
like one of them, is going tosuffer and the job needs to
suffer.
But jobs don't like it.
When they suffer they tend tolay you off or fire you.
So, yeah, I stay home.
I stay home now.
But for those women that cansuccessfully juggle you know,
(18:10):
work and home life it'simportant to remember,
especially if we're Christiansor Catholics, that we have to,
we have to maintain the correctbalance of Of our work and home
life.
Like our kids are number one.
We cannot allow them to sufferfor our personal choices.
(18:33):
So if we Choose personally togo back to work, they cannot
suffer for that decision.
We have to make sure that theirneeds are met and Before we go
back to work and when I sayneeds, I'm not just talking
about they have a roof overtheir head and they have food in
their belly and shoes andclothes on their backs, I'm
talking about their emotionaland their mental and spiritual
(18:55):
needs as well.
Like, those needs must 100% bemet Before we go back to work,
because we are we are mothersfirst and foremost.
Like I Hate, I mean, it might behard for some women to hear
that you know their identity ismotherhood.
But until your child turns 18and Leaves you know your
(19:21):
guidance and your protection,your identity is being a mother.
That is our number one job.
That is our first shot.
We are in charge of raising thenext generation and if we
cannot successfully do that inall the ways, then we need to
(19:42):
let go of the things that arestopping us from doing that.
And if you know our jobs arestopping us from doing that,
then we need to change that job.
We need to let go of that jobis something we have to protect
our kids.
So, yeah, proverbs 31 is veryit's very clear about that.
We, we can work.
We can work in my mind.
(20:03):
Like reading through this andI've actually talked to, I
actually talked to a priestabout this, about Proverbs 31
too, and he actually agreed onme on this one like it does say
that we can work, we can runbusinesses, but he also agreed
that it seems to imply that wecannot do it at the To the
(20:26):
detriment of our children.
Just in the way that theseverses are ordered, it talks
about how we care.
You know we're a capable wifeCaring for our husband and our
children, our household and ourservant girls.
Then it talks about how we runa successful business.
Then it talks about how, howProductively are.
(20:50):
Then it talks about, you know,our, our care for the poor and
the needy and how prepared weare to take care of our
household for times of distressyou know, future distress,
things like that.
And Then it talks about how thepeople around us, after
(21:10):
following these guidelines inProverbs because Proverbs is,
you know, the Proverbs is arulebook.
So these, this, this rulebookfor being a righteous woman and
a capable wife, it it talksabout how, after following these
rules and Applying them to toour lives and to her life, this
(21:34):
woman was, her husband was knownin the city gates and she
Praised her.
Her children rose up and calledher blessed, so that that
priority of of life and andthese rules are are there for a
(22:00):
reason like it's.
It's very important for us toproperly read scripture and not
just pick and choose littletidbits out of the Bible that
will make the best clickbait onyour next tiktok video and, no,
not pull out little tidbits thatwill make the best clickbait on
(22:24):
your next tweet on Twitter, andI'm specifically thinking of a
certain number of influencerswhen I talk about this.
Yesterday I went down therabbit hole of a particular
Twitter account and I was just Icould not believe it.
It was so full of absolute hate, vitriol and shame shaming
(22:46):
towards mothers who choose towork or, you know, maybe they're
having a very difficultpostpartum period and they can't
have sexual relations withtheir husbands when their
husbands absolutely claim thatthey need it.
The the hate and shaming thatthis, this woman, was doing on
(23:09):
these poor young mothers wasjust absolutely horrible.
And so I got up my Bible lastnight and I started like reading
these verses that she wasquoting, and then I just started
reading other verses that I'veheard other people quoting and I
was just like you know, thisdoesn't say at all what you
think it says, like this doesn'tmake sense.
So, yeah, I wanted to talk aboutthat today because you know
(23:33):
there is there is a lot of shamein traditional culture on women
who who's used to go to work,and we carry that shame with us.
We feel ashamed about, aboutworking, like somehow we're
we're bad mothers, even thoughthe whole reason why we go to
work in the first place is outof love and care for our
(23:55):
children, like we're not doingit out of some selfish need to
feel fulfilled, like it hasnothing to do with that.
It's it 100% makes our livesharder to go to work because now
we have three jobs.
We have to be a good employee,we have to be a good wife and a
(24:16):
good mother.
We have three full-time jobs.
Now why would any woman choosethat?
On purpose, like why would wechoose that?
It's so much easier not to.
So you know, when a woman makesthe choice to go to work, she's
, she's doing it because shefeels the necessity of it, and
(24:37):
so I would.
I would really urge those whowho think this way, who think
that mothers shouldn't work, Iwould really urge them to think
about one, think about all thereasons why you think women
should work, and think aboutwhere those opinions came from,
and and then you know, check andsee if your opinions are
(24:59):
actually, you know, biblicallybased and you know based on
Christian and Catholic doctrine,because I can guarantee you,
95% of the time, they're notgoing to be, and they're just
going to be based on personalbias and what you think women
should do.
So, yeah, I would actually alsolike to encourage any woman
(25:24):
reading this to go read Proverbs31, chapter.
Proverbs 31, verses 10 through31.
I believe it is.
Let me double check here,flipping through pages yes,
proverbs 31, verses 10 through31.
It's absolutely beautiful toread.
(25:46):
I I am actually reading it out.
What Bible is this I have?
I have several differentversions of the Bible and I
believe this one is the NRSBCatholic edition.
So it's it's been edited alittle bit just to make it
(26:10):
easier to read, make it easierfor our modern minds to read.
So I would encourage anyone tothat is listening to go and read
, read this.
It's a beautiful read and then,just, you know, just do a brief
reflection on it and how we canapply it to our daily lives.
(26:32):
Thank you for turning into allof our little messes.
This has been a veryinteresting podcast episode for
me.
To record.
It's because it was.
It was kind of a new topic forme.
I never really thought aboutProverbs 31 before that way.
So it was interesting and veryawesome to spend the last week
just kind of diving into theProverbs and, you know, trying
(26:57):
to figure out what what it meant.
There was a couple phone callsand emails I sent to my parish
priest with questions.
I'm sure he got annoyed.
So but yes, thank you fortuning in this week and don't
forget to hit that follow buttonand download every week so you
(27:17):
can catch up on last week's andfuture episodes.
Thank you very much forlistening.
I'll see you guys next week.
Thank you for tuning in to thisepisode of all our little
messes.
Please let us know how much youenjoyed it below and add any
(27:38):
questions you have about thisepisode.
Also, don't forget to follow uson patreon for amazing
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(28:01):
updates and insights thatmirror podcast topics.
Thank you for listening andwe'll see you next week.
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